Chris Shelton, who has posted here as Galactic Patrol for some time, sent me this article for publication.
It provides an interesting perspective on being a staff member and being in the SO. It may not be everyone’s view, but it certainly aligns with much of what I experienced.
And I think it is a helpful addition to multiple viewpoints that are expressed here in an effort to make all data available to those who are interested.
I spent my entire adult life as a professional Scientology staff member. I started taking classes when I was 15 and joined staff at the age of 17. I joined the Sea Organization when I was 25 and stayed in until I was 43.
I trained as a Pro Course Supervisor and Word Clearer, Class 0 Auditor and Purification Rundown In-Charge. I also trained as a Data Series Evaluator and Org Manager, amongst many other things. I completed all of The Basics books and lectures after they were released in 2006, as well as the LRH Congresses and a panoply of other lectures and materials (including many issues that public may never see as they were “confidential Sea Org references” concerning management and administration). When it comes to Scientology and Sea Organization policy and tech, I can unequivocally state that I am an expert.
I achieved the state of Clear when I was an org staff member, but that got taken away when I was in the Sea Org. I was sent back down the line to ARC Straightwire and despite all the years I worked full-time on staff and in the Sea Org, if I were to go back now I would be at the very bottom of the Bridge, back at the Purif and Objectives.
I held numerous posts: as an org staff member, I was an Academy and Key to Life Supervisor and Tech Sec. When I went into the Sea Org, I supervised course and auditing delivery across the entire western United States. That lasted for eight years. After I couldn’t take that anymore, I was transferred to AOLA as a Registrar and then was again put into the Tech areas. I even worked briefly at Bridge Publications, making the Basics books. The last four years of my career were spent as a Sea Org missionaire, traveling from org to org recruiting for the Sea Org, recovering people to The Bridge and finally working full time on the Ideal Org campaigns.
My reasons for leaving the Sea Org, and then Scientology altogether, were not really any different from so many others who have recently come out and told their stories. The injustices, the obsession with making money for no exchange of any kind, the corruption at the highest levels of the Sea Organization, the gross and glaring alterations of the technology, the unworkable and untenable programs being forced down on Scientologists for the past 20+ years – all of this and much more.
I’m sorry to say that I contributed to some of this, and I’m not proud of any of it. There were times I treated staff very poorly and ignored their real need for help; I lied to people so they would join staff and the Sea Org and I certainly did my share of yelling during moments of stress. I tried my hardest throughout my Scientology career to be fair, honest and compassionate, and most of the time I succeeded. I’m proud to say that despite the insanity, I kept my cool enough to be well liked in every org I went to and at continental management. I had a reputation for being able to get things done, yet still “maintain ARC”, and I consistently had “upstats”.
Eventually I will get my entire story out. It covers 27 years of dedicated, nose-to-the-grindstone work and that’s a lot of territory. It would take an entire book to detail all of it and maybe someday I’ll write that book, but that is beyond the scope of this article. Instead of trying to summarize that any further, what I want to talk about here is why I stayed with it for so long and why I believe others do too.
It’s a question that is asked often: How do intelligent, rational people get involved in a cult-like environment, and once they see the abuses and outpoints, why do they stay?
Well, the short answer for myself is that I was convinced that what I was doing was bringing real and lasting help to the world. I believed that every person I helped, every program I completed, every person I recruited, made a difference to the world at large.
Not only that, but I believed with every fiber of my being that we Scientologists were the only ones who were making that difference. This is a particularly important point when recruiting and why people stay. Once you believe that Scientology is the most important thing in the whole universe, it’s a very small leap in logic to conclude that nothing else really matters at all.
One goes in to Scientology, and especially onto staff and the Sea Organization, knowing that there are going to be sacrifices. You know that you are not going to have as much time off, or be free to sit around watching TV or movies. You know that while your room and board may be taken care of and you don’t have to worry about dental bills, the exchange for that is your loyalty and your perseverance to achieve Command Intention. You even swear to uphold, forward and carry out Command Intention as a Sea Org member. It becomes a point of personal pride and duty to do so.
There is, as well, the ethics of “the greatest good for the greatest number.” Unexamined critically, this concept appears to be a truly wonderful idea. If you help others, then you think that, of course, that help is going to be returned to you. If you bring spiritual freedom and eternal survival to others, then of course it will be revisited back upon you. One finds that this is not true at all. The “greatest good” depends on the eye of the beholder and whose “good” is being served. There are people who are more than happy to use the “greatest good” to work someone to the bone and make them feel guilty for not doing even more.
Once the outpoints become so great that a person can’t ignore them, there is still a decision that has to be made about what to do. It was very easy for me to forgive; someone yells or screams or even hits, well, everyone is under a lot of stress and there are intense targets to meet and we’re all on the same team. Right? Win or die in the attempt, isn’t that what we all agreed to?
Plus, after giving years of oneself to a cause, a true esprit is established with your team mates. Even if you don’t like all of them personally, even if you wouldn’t want to sit down and eat with them, they are your brothers-in-arms. To consider leaving them behind would be to court disaster. Who’s going to carry the torch if you fall down or drop it?
Finally, who wants to think that all of those years have been for naught? I didn’t want to just give up, not if there was even a possibility, no matter how slim, that our goals could be achieved and we could “clear the planet.” After all that time and all that work, it would be a complete fail to just walk away. No, better to persist and carry on and keep fighting the fight. Our programs may not have been perfect but they were better than nothing!
Despite all of these reasons, once I started to see the almost insatiable fixation that the IAS regges and upper management seemed to have with regging straight donations, it became clear to me that something was really wrong. Long trusted and well-respected Int Management personnel disappeared from Int events and soon we never heard anything from them at all – it became all Miscavige’s show. The Ideal Orgs were empty despite all the promises of “getting in policy” and “booming like never before.” I saw the stats, the empty course rooms, and the idle auditors. The Ideal Orgs were not expanding after they were opened, and despite all the rhetoric coming from the top, making auditors was something we hadn’t done in any real volume since the early 1990s. It was no longer the Scientology I had joined and it was not the Scientology described in tech and policy.
The final breaking point for me was when I realized that I had spent my life working to make other people happy, and yet I myself was not happy. My marriage had disintegrated after I had spent almost four straight years away from my wife on projects and missions. I had made no Bridge progress as a Sea Org member. And I wasn’t the only one. In all my years, I had seen many Sea Org members grow old and even die in the Sea Org, barely up through a few Grades or maybe Clear. It grated on me that this was allowed to happen.
I was spending all of my time being a martyr for the cause, and it hit me one day that I could spend the rest of my life doing that and no one was going to do anything about it. No one was ever going to stop sending me out on missions. No one was going to take me aside and say, “Hey, Chris, you’ve salvaged hundreds, maybe thousands of people, and you know what? Now it’s your turn. Let’s get you up The Bridge.” It’s all well and good to talk about clearing the planet and salvaging everyone in this sector, but wouldn’t that start with the very people who are supposed to be doing the salvaging? When do they get to partake in all this goodness? When does someone see to it that their needs are fulfilled and they are actually happy? If I had stayed, I’m quite sure I’d still be waiting for answers to those questions.
Now that I’m out of that life and have had time to decompress and get free of the pressure-cooker mentality, my life has changed enormously for the better. The freedom and happiness that Scientologists seek actually does exist. It exists out here in the real world, not inside the RCS bubble. I have experienced more self-determinism, more honesty and integrity and more personal certainty in the past few months since I stepped out of the bubble than in all the previous years combined.
My life is my own. I am happy. I have reconnected with and made real friends who don’t care about me because of my stats, or my product record or because of how much money I can raise. They just like me for who I am. And those are real friends.
I’m hoping that by laying this all out here some of this will indicate to those who are still in, or to those who know people who are still in. Maybe some of this information will convince them to get out of the RCS bubble. None of the reasons I listed for staying with Scientology are valid. None of them are true.
Thank you to everyone who has helped me since I left the RCS behind. The adjustment has been intense and there have been major losses due to the evil RCS disconnection policies, people I called friends for over 20 years. I have lost loved ones I would have died for, but honestly, it was worth it to be free of the RCS forever.
I want that freedom now for everyone still in, so you’ll continue to hear from me and see me around, at least for a little while longer. I hope that if you are reading this and you are still in, that you will join me out here. It really is great.
What is “RCS”?
Radical Church of Scientology. I think the expression was coined by Marty Rathbun
Hi Chris, I know you were unhappy. I likened you to Agent Smith from the Matrix. I was on the receiving end of a very squirrel Comm Ev which you chaired when you were at CLO. It was the beginning of the end for me in Scientology. I wasted over half my life giving everything I had, money, time, effort, energy all to have you and a few others look at me like I was a scum and ignore my production record so that you could make a point. How do I feel now? Well, I don’t give a shit really. I know I can’t be touched, spiritually. I’m glad you woke up and aren’t screwing people over anymore.
I completely share your views. It took a while of being out of the church, but I have realized that you can’t “be OT” in, anymore (or ever?).
You don’t own your own life in the church. And that is part of “being OT.”
My life out of the church the past couple of years have been the happiest, most stable and most affluent of my whole life. The future actually excites me…all of it.
Terrific article, Chris. I think there are quite a few SO members who can relate to what you have to say and I hope some will find a way to read it and let it give them food for thought. Very happy you decided to speak up in name. I know it was a big sacrifice but I think living with the truth is much more empowering. Best wishes and hope to see more of your writings here and on ESMB.
Mary McConnell aka AnonyMary
That was very moving and sincere. I’m glad you are happy at last.
Chris,
Thank you for your clear and concise write-up. I have personal experience with a lot of what you went through, but for a shorter (thankfully) period of time. When I was at Int at Gold in Hemet from 1980-1982 I took it upon myself to audit other staff in my free time because no one else would do it. When I left that suppressive environment I had nightmares for years that I was back at Int and trapped. It took many years to stop have those nightmares. After I left the SO and was doing the Sr. Sec Checker Course in 1984 I was asked to audit a staff member on a returning from mission sec check. I was appalled when told that i could fit it in when I could as “it was only a sea org member.” I remember thinking that this was a Sea Org member telling me this. How could they think like that?!
Welcome to the land of the free and the sane and may you relax and enjoy the life you so deserve.
Bonnie, I wanted to ask you about a staff member friend of mine who was at Int when you were. Can you email me at janedoe2@hushmail.com?
Thanks for speaking out Chris and welcome.
this “church” is going down…. it is unfortunate there isn’t anyone left internally that can hold DM accountable… maybe after he is forced to vanish someone can step up and say “NO”. His day is coming, time is ticking faster on this now as Magoo puts it. Maybe Cruise will finally snap and they will kill each other…. poor travolta believes he was saved from dwindling by constant surveillance when Jet slipped. I personally believe i could gain from the grades, and could help others with the tech. it is a dam shame no one can promote the church. I was an original G.A.T word clearer A.S.H.O (f) and still have the original reports that included placing DM and R.T.R.C in treason… I took this on internally. It was good to hear you left, but like so many others, they choose to do what they are told. Now that power of choice over the datum was removed from student hat, (right after I star-rated it at Flag) and K.S.W, has been fully degraded, DM has command intention and executive power to rule at will. I believe Hubbard’s tech helps me . I am disgusted that DM could treason and drop even lower without anyone left to challenge him. I know we are all waiting for him to pop his cyanide pills like a former dictator or shoot himself like a Shawshank warden. Just like our country, the church is unfortunately filled with mindless sheep, or others who just want the environment to crumble. Hopefully this case in Texas will force Dm into exile and maybe someone internally will finally say NO… Chris Cloutier
WOW POT 🙂
FOTF2012, These exact thoughts would be thought-stopped by the sea org member himself. There were PLs against taking care of the staff when the Org was in a ‘Hill-10’, assigned ‘Emergency Condition’, Event Call-In All-Hands, Reno’s All-Hands, Addresso All-Hands, Treasury All-Hands, Folder Archives All-Hands,and since I left I hear: Basic Books Sales All-Hands, IAS ‘donation’ All-Hands…..
The PL ‘How To Handle Work’ and others made it vary clear how a staff member should be treated and allowed to treat himself if his own post was in order. But will all the made-up emergencies one was only concerned with handling the work load as best he could untill it all calmed down ….. but it never did. Day’s off became a ‘down-stat’ thing to do. Wanting to take your own study time was sometimes frowned on and then the family time was, 3 week vacations when?, sleep, good food, medical, pay, your own case was way behind in importance.
So… we did our very own thought-stopping and laid those selfish, worker oriented, 1st Dynamic, 2nd Dynamic goals aside to a greater or lessor degree.
It was the source point of the constant made-up emergencies that was & is to blame.
Perfectly accurate account. Sea Org members and staff members are entirely disposable in DM’s view. It’s sickening. I wish you every happiness in your new life.
Thank you. I wasn’t in Scientology but another cult. I keep a short list of links for family and friends of people still “in”. I’ve added this blog entry to that list. May it help many others.
This whole deal was this was suppose to be a route of the trap, as it turned out, it was a trap. Glad you found your way out of it.
One of the best write-ups yet Chris!
One thing you said that particularly struck me was the point about why the most dedicated didn’t get to partake of the benefits of the tech or get some succor. As a public Scientologist mostly I always wondered why the Sea Org and staff were not treated and supported better. It’s all good to say “make it go right” and all the Scientology clichés but the truth is that dm is a greedy little punk who is perverting a good cause for his own twisted evil purposes.
I am glad you are out.
Good write up kiddo,
Good to see all the support for what you are saying.
I do want to make a point; the other ninety-eight percent who are still out there working and trying and believing they are doing right, need to be validated also.
It happens so many times on this mud ball that some people get into a worthwhile, ethical endeavor and then do their best to make it so bad that no one wants to be associated with it; they would be the other two percent. From all that I have seen, Mr. M has done that. It is too bad, because so many of the honestly searching thetans don’t have the ability to differentiate the purity and greatness of the subject from the worthless individuals who are purporting to represent it.
I really, really hope that everyone does not give up on the subject. It is the most valid, truthful, ethical thing that has ever hit this planet. I hope they can find support and help with their search for the truth. I hope they continue working to get out of this mess called the MEST universe.
A continued effort to uphold the truth of the subject and an unrelenting placement of the reality into this universe will prevail. Please, don’t give up on what is really there, it is real, it will get you out and it is possible.
I think you know who this is….
Yeah I think I do too….. Thanks and I get the message. 🙂
Beautifully expressed otes-even. When I left the S.O. 16 years ago, I looked high and low for something that could really help me, Buddhism, Humanistic Psychology, some truth, some help, but no cigar. When I discovered the indie field, I was so overcome with relief, because I knew that the road out was available after all. I experienced nothing but beautiful, lasting gains in my lower Bridge from Grades through Clear and False Purpose Rundown (which I did 20 years ago), so I knew such gains were there to be had. It saddens me when I see DM’s suppression ruining this chance for people because their trust is so betrayed.
Thank you for speaking up, Chris.
Hi Chris,
Thank you for being so straightforward and honest.
You made a great point about SO members not making their own Bridge progress and this not being provided for them after years of diligent service. This was something I saw as a major outpoint as a public and this really troubled me. As the saying goes, “It all begins at home”. I saw SO members living in an empty house and one they didn’t deserve.
I’ve always enjoyed reading your intelligent posts as GP on the blog too. I hope you have a very happy life for the rest of your days.
Good to see you out Chris, welcome!
I enjoyed your comments before, very insightful.
You analysis is spot on and resonates with my experiences and a lot of the stories of others that I have heard. Thank you for standing up and speaking out!
Hello Chris, perhaps we’ll meet someday.
I should learn to proof read.
“I am glad you left and ARE posting.”
That was an excellent essay. TY.
I am glad you left and our posting. Please keep posting
Keep healing
During the 90s and through the early 2000s there was a lot of auditing of SO members by BC students. This stopped when someone decided that “expert” auditor didn’t mean experienced auditor and the SHSBC check sheets were changed. But during the heyday of auditing as a BC student I audited quite a few SO members and took a lot of pleasure in seeing them walk across the street to AO to do their OT levels. It fulfilled my desire to be a Staff Staff Auditor since I audited on level O for a year and 1/2 enjoying every minute of it. Of course I was lucky enough to have Terry Carr and Herb Talbut as my Auditing Supervisors. Terry is now out of the SO and Herb left ASHO to audit celebs at CCI. (That was the beginning of the end of technical integrity for ASHO.)
Glad you made it out intact, Chris. It’s a beautiful world outside the bubble. I know how hard it is to lose people you love, especially long term friends that you would do anything for. But as you so eloquently said, it is worth it to be out.
I was one of the lucky S.O. members to get my Expanded Grades with one such BC auditor. Utterly transcendent experience which changed me permanently. I owe a debt of gratitude to that wonderful auditor. I played hooky from my post for weeks to get my auditing, and funny thing is I didn’t run one missed withhold in rudiments because of that. Not an overt in my book!
AnonIndie, I am interested in the “baby” that should not be thrown out with the bathwater. Seems to me the Grades are part of that baby. Would love to hear more about that experience that you attest “changed [you] permanently.
Bob Dobbs; there was no reply button listed on the bottom of your post, but I’d be happy to send you my wins by separate email. Have you done the Grades? You may contact me at soothseeker@hushmail.com
Chris,
Great write up great observations and perceptions. You are a great Being.
Welcome to freedom and truth. Welcome to life!!!
You fully deserve this new life. Enjoy, flourish and prosper.
Hemi
MUCH respect to you Chris!
Here’s Chris Shelton on video
http://youtu.be/e9MpC8efB7U
http://youtu.be/kU-S9UfC9hY
More videos coming soon..
Some church that is. My contempt.
Chris, congrats on your escape from that mind prison. I’m happy to know you’re getting along well.
Of all the things you said above, here’s one that just floors me: ” I believed with every fiber of my being that we Scientologists were the only ones who were [bringing real and lasting help to the world].”
As someone who has always “lived in the world” even when I was a Scientologist (I was never on staff, never in SO, never worked in a Scientology company) I continue to be amazed at the damage done to those deeply in the bubble, whether in the SO, on staff or public, because of their horrific segregation (enforced and elected) from the outside world and information that isn’t approved by the cult.
Now that you’ve been out for a year or so and have gone through so many changes (and surely are continuing to go through changes), how do you view that segregation and its effects?
Thanks,
Just Me
Yes, segregation and thought control are major factors in Scientology and especially in the Sea Org. I’ve had a lot of adjustments to make over the past year. The biggest one and the one I’m still working on is just slowing down and letting life take its course and not feeling like I have to “product officer” everything that goes on. Learning to relax. Learning that I’m not responsible for every single that goes wrong around me. Learning that I’m not PTS or suppressed every time I cough. Learning that accidents happen and it’s just the way things are. Learning that I don’t have to be obsessively in control of every single thing going on around me all the time.
Relaxing was practically a skill I had to re-learn. The nightmares stopped late last year and that went a long way to helping me to chill out in day-to-day life and not be so anxious all the time. And the non-Scientologists I’ve met and made friends with have been very understanding and helpful in all of this.
The thing that really surprised me about this adjustment period was how “normal” it had become for me to feel hounded, impatient and anxious that I stay busy and “be productive” every minute of every day. There was never a time when I was in the Sea Org that it was ok to just be sitting still and to stop and think about things. And after years of that, I really thought that’s how life was lived by everyone.
So now that I have freedom of thought, freedom of expression and freedom of action, life has taken on a whole new and much better feeling. It’s wonderful. And I’ve never been happier. The sacrifices to get here really sucked but I would never ever go back to that “in-the-bubble” existence. Not for anything.
Hi Chris,
Great to hear your story, and well done on surviving getting out!
My wife and I “waste” away whole weekends, sometimes doing “nothing” or at least the “nothing” that we want. What a pleasure it has become NOT to think that is wrong!
Well done again,
Bruce Goldman
GP,
What a great beginning to your “book.” I’ve enjoyed many of your posts in recent months as well.
I understand what you say about product officering yourself. I’ve been off staff for nearly 30 years, and I must confess, I still do that to some degree. However, I’ve found that to be a good trait! I’ve accomplished quite a lot in my life, personally and across the dynamics, thank you! Observing, gaining knowledge and skill, making some corner of the world a little happier or more beautiful or sane are sub-products, too. So – reading, net surfing, contemplating, practicing the piano, dancing, taking a class at the local college in geology or photography, gardening, helping build a house, working in a charity, doing something to make your spouse happy – whatever floats your boat – those things are products, too. They might be products on the 1st, or 2nd, or 5th, or 7th dynamic. (LRH even had a rich variety of interests in his earlier life, at least). They may not be grand products that get world-stage attention, but in time they add up. You may end up with a new career or volunteer project that positively impacts a few people, a neighborhood, a community. Your personal interests may lead you to open doors you never expected. [It’s how I interpret the PL What We Expect of a Scientologist.] So, my advice is – embrace that energy and enjoy getting involved in new kinds of projects. Grant beingness, and realize there is an infinite range of things that are valuable and interesting to living beings, and there is nothing wrong with you or others cherishing and creating those things.
Part of the problem with the SO and staff in general, I think, is the aspect of compressed time. Everything has to be done NOW, so anything that doesn’t accomplish some 3rd dynamic target is regarded as a distraction. So short sighted!! Peculiarly, that negation of time is a symptom of a real lack of havingness, in my book. It also negates a thetan’s real abilities to be creative and postulate futures.
Also, you mentioned consideration of the “greatest good for the greatest number.” I love the original definition of Ethics: “Reason and the contemplation of optimum survival.” That brings in consideration of ALL the dynamics. “Greatest good for the GREATEST NUMBER OF DYNAMICS” is what the formula is supposed to be. This latter viewpoint certainly allows one a much wider latitude in making pro-survival decisions.
Thanks for being so generous with your comments,observations, and experiences. Looking forward to more as you care to make.
Good points Leonore. A person does his greatest work when he/she really wants to do something and not having a gun to their head if they don’t. Witness Da Vinci, Edison, Einstein, Picasso – need I go on?
Thanks for your response, Chris. Very best wishes to you.
Hello Chris and Leonore,
Since out I passed my flying pilot brevet. I tell you that my instructor was “using Scientology”. Of course he is not Scientologist but I could see with good life Reality what it was to be a coach, a good one indeed LRH would be proud off! No need of GAT for that. I could observe being out “in the wog”, that one recognize basic Scientology Policy into everything that works well. The company I am working into is lead by great experienced execs. They have ARC and are not reasonable and so on. One could do a plus point eval on it. No kidding.
I had the same experience as you my friends and had to get through to go out of the implanted thinking. It’s not even a 3rd dynamic engram but a full blown implant with painful ARC locks –Enforced and Inhibited A,R and C. We had to obey without being able to reject the thoughts and emotions and efforts. We had to accept the pattern, practically a GPM.
My non scientology wife went to the org for Dianetics training (before I new the Indies), she loved Dianetics and the sup, but hated Scientologists as they were all the same. Incredible. She had seen things I could not perceive. Now I know why.
You know what? For fun, we should make a history book with the important facts. I am sure this would be interesting. In addition I am working on an Eval of Scientology. I just feel a bit alone and i am sure this could be a fun thing to do. I have already found some interesting underlying outpoints that are close to the why.
So if anyone gets interested, I am ready for a good fun. Because real Scientology is fun,
Joseph
” I have lost loved ones I would have died for, but honestly, it was worth it to be free of the RCS forever.”
How bad must RCS be if someone is willing to give up loved ones they would die for just to be free of RCS?
pretty damn bad.
“The freedom and happiness that Scientologists seek actually does exist. It exists out here in the real world, not inside the RCS bubble. ”
Oz never did give nothing to the tin man that he didn’t already have.
Yes, MJ, I agree,it is as inevitable as gravity that people have to answer for their actions But justice can be a long time coming when left to it’s own course. Despite DM’s many abhorent personality defects, the man is a brilliant manipulator and an extremely accomplished strategist where preserving his own power is concerned. The fact that Scientology is being destroyed in the process does not change the fact that he is STILL firmly in control of the Scientology religion, and it can shrink for decades to come without ever disappearing. Without a lot of people willing to put a LOT on the line, he will remain firmly in control of the Scientology religion for decades to come. That is why people like Mr Shelton are so important when they take a stand. Every person that stands up and puts their name on the “I disgree” list, is another pebble onto the scale of justice, and speeds up the process. I think it would be well to remember that there was a huge schizm in Scientology in the early 80’s, hundreds of people declared, many of them famous Scientology personalities, mission holders, successful Scientologists. There was a movement at that time that identified David Miscavige as the source of the gross policy and tech alterations that were occuring and the oppressive justice. That movement is barely remembered. David Miscavige just kept declaring people and ruthlessly enforcing disconnection until at last, there was no-one left to declare. From there he pushed on steadily consolidating his position of power and dramaitizing his evil intentions towards other people, while at the same time smiling for the camera and acting “caring and kind” whenever he needed to manipulate someone. So my thanks to Chris. Those who are under the radar have every right to make that choice. They are at least not supporting DM any longer. But I think we would all do well to keep in mind that David Miscavige is an extraordinarily talented manipulator and very dedicated to the preservation of his own skin. He also lives for the adoring crowds and the applause. He will NEVER step down or walk away. He will always stay front and center and demand that people show up and clap and squeal and cry when he struts out onto the stage. So in my mind Chris is another “soldier of light” – a person who steps forward and takes the shots and the hits in order to shine the light of truth on the now oppressive and very insular world of Scientology.
Well stated, Roy. Are you related to Virginia?
Well said Roy.
Yes, Roy. Say it again!
All too true, Roy. There would have to be something pretty earthshaking to rock David Miscavige off of the mountain. His minions are very dependent upon his remaining just where he is, and no doubt he has set it up that way.
I can relate to this, along with many others I am sure. Thanks for posting.
Hi Chris – Very interesting story. Really appreciative of your contributions to our group.
‘ The Ideal Orgs were empty despite all the promises of “getting in policy” and “booming like never before.” ‘
…And don’t forget that the Ideal Orgs are empty despite the endless droning repetitive mantra of “100% standard”.
I don’t know if you wrote this as part of a formula, Chris, but it sure sounds like something to post on the staff board with the title “Doubt Formula” across the top.
Welcome out.
(I’m more than willing to fill out your Bridge with some free auditing. Write me.)
Chris,
I just remembered where I know you from. I’ve been thinking for months that I know you and now I remember you from the Pro TRs Clay Table evolution in December 1989.
That was actually a FUN time. Probably the only genuinely consistently fun project all of my time in Scientology. Lots of wins, no horrific deadlines, the whole thing was well organized, the administrators and Sups of that evolution were friendly, lots of laughs and camaraderie.
Am I right that you were there too?
Dave Fagen
Yep Dave, I was there! That was a fun time actually. At least until they weren’t going to let me go home for Christmas because they wanted my help getting everyone else through the auditing and TRs. But I always enjoyed meeting the other org staff and the camaraderie and stuff.
Glad to have you out Chris. Hope to see you again in person sometime.
Hey GP,
Loved the handle.
Guess I’ll have to get used to calling you Chris.
I remember back in the day I signed up for the SO readiness unit when the SO was still at Sea and then they moved onto land and I lost interest.
Guess I’m lucky I didn’t activate my SO contract with all the trials and tribulations I’ve read.
Not that being on staff was a cake walk.
I can’t count the times I lived on Kraft Cheese Dinner, Ramen Noodles and peanut butter prior to becoming a “hired gun” at the SO Orgs in Pac.
Guess you can say the same sob story about R&B.
(They fed it to us once when I was at Flag doing an internship because the stats were down and I’ll say that I’ll take my previous diet over that crap. But anyhoo….)
Still when all is said and done.
I can say that like the GO ( who I ended up working for as a technical terminal) I found that most of the SO were like you good hearted and well intentioned people who’s purposes were twisted by their respective “management”.
My view is that unlike Jane, Dave seems to be being protected by his “friends” which is why he’s had the longevity he’s had.
Which is why I don’t hold up much hope that he’ll ever be busted for his crimes.
That said.
If there is a hell that Misacavige will be one of its prime candidates at some point.
Chris, congratulations on your freedom from the “David Miscavige Road Show” that the church has become. May your happiness multiply!
Thank you for all you did in the past, and the good intention that went with it. It was not wasted. Love your posts – so keep them coming!
Chris Shelton Patrols the Galaxy and doesn’t afraid of anything
+1 🙂
Lovely story Chris, thanks for sharing.
Something struck me while reading about how you had worked for years, even at the cost of your marriage, and yet there was no reward – no auditing, no “come Chris let’s get you up the bridge now ” flow.
I know in LRH’s days the staff were important to him, and were usually the FIRST in line to receive processing and training.
That viewpoint is long gone, and I honestly believe DM has turned the SO into some kind of ant colony mentality where mindless worker ants (SO staff) just carry on bringing food (money), fixing the ant-heap and doing everything for the benefit of the Queen of the colony (aka DM). And on it goes, until the ant just drops dead or is squished under someone’s foot.
I too have witnessed a number of Sea Org staff who have either died of old age or cancer and they were no-where up the bridge after years and years of selfless dedication to “the cause”.
Sad, but true.
One day DM will have to answer for his actions. It’s as inevitable as gravity.
I doubt that he will, MJ.
His overts are so fantastic, given the BS he’s been peddling all his life, that unlike a career criminal with multiple convictions, jail terms, frequent exposure to the recourse of public justice, and limited ambition, DM has never known what he actually is.
In my personal opinion based on his record, this guy is seriously confused about his true identity; for example, there appears to be no account of DM’s ‘affectionate human side,’ nor any testimony of an instance of his ‘vulnerability,’ nor any evidence of his own, personal gratitude to anyone. Everything publicly known about him points to a clichéd, stereotyped, stock bully character, one as you might write into a story or film script. He’s never audited anyone, never been a course supervisor, never cleared someone’s MU’s on a meter. To my knowledge, he’s not run any group processing, and never done anything remotely like a PES or public lecture about the merits of the very religion of which he’s the head.
Has anyone actually got a memory of DM explaining the ARC triangle?
This DM person will never tell you an innocent joke or play charades after dinner or share his last dime with you. Nor will he ever play the fool and invite mockery upon himself. Small wonder he hasn’t any children, let alone a recognised 2D.
Whatever LRH was, he fits into the array of recognisable human characters. DM on the other hand, does not fit.
In other words, DM will not answer because he has no answer – he’ll expect others to justify him.
He’s a potential suicide case.
Thanks for your response Poet. You may be right, in which case he must be a very sad individual. I’m just saying that one day there’ll be a reckoning. As Jimi Hendrix once said “castles made of sand, fall in the sea eventually.”
+1 An apt quote from Jimi Hendrix, MJ.
Thanks Chris for sharing your story. I am very happy that you are out and have a happy life going for you. Being happy and healthy and enjoying your life is really what it is all about. I hope your story inspires others who read this blog and are still in, to get out too.
I was deeply touched by your “obnosis” (observation of the obvious) — why would those working for Scientology not be well cared for and ensured of a route up the bridge?
(I think the answer lies in a mixture of greed and control of staff.)
Thanks for letting your own voice be heard, Chris. I really enjoy your posts.
Les
Chris,
Thank you for showing the pivotal points that hold a staff or SO member IN due to the agreements made. They are spot on and very real.
Now that you have lead the horses to the water, let’s hope they actually drink and get rejuvenated!
Your skills and abilities gained in the SO may still come real handy in the field 🙂
Greta
Dear Chris very well done report.
I want you on OT 7 soon and OT 8
Get all the training you desire
good
Thank you Sir!
I too was looking for the best, but confronted that there was no tieme spent on staff improvement.
No training, coauditing neither, because of the “stats” and the Universe Corps and other tales…
Very well done.
Good to know you are free of the suppression Chris. Many of us have taken a similar journey and in the end came out on top with a lot of lessons learned to look back on. Making mistakes and learning from them is part of the essence of real knowledge.
I’m happy that you’re happy. Welcome out and don’t berate yourself for what was done. You’ll be helping way more people that you ever have, just keep on target and speak out loud and proud. There are so many people in the real world (exes and never-ins) all waiting here to help.
Congratulations for finding your way out of the rabbit hole.
Thanks everyone who has commented. I really appreciate the well wishes.
By the way, I should have put this in the article. I am more than a little interested in re-connecting with people I’ve known or helped in the past. I’m also totally cool with questions if anyone has any for me specifically. My email address for this is skepticalseeker@hushmail.com. Feel free to contact me.
Shameless plug: I also have my own blog on critical thinking and skepticism at http://mncriticalthinking.com. I have not talked about Scientology specifically but my last blog article was called “Converting the Converted” and it is about how to handle someone who is involved deeply in a religion and you want to maybe change their minds. Hope you get a chance to check it out and I hope more that my writing may be of some help.
Great write up Chris and welcome out of the hell-hole called Scientology!!
I would like to know how the “Church” presented you with your “gag order” and did they give you any money or help when you left.
Perhaps a story from the moment you made the decision to leave (what was the straw that broke the camels back) until you walked out that door for the last time. I would like to know what that was like and did you have any support on the outside?
Thanks again Chris….so happy for you that you are OUT and great post!!
Thanks Idle Morgue. Your posts on ESMB were very helpful to me last year when I was “decompressing”. I started a thread there on ESMB which has more details on my Scn experience and I’m sure I’ll get the whole story out on how I ended up leaving the SO and then RCS completely.
I certainly didn’t get any help from anyone in Scientology. From the day I left the Sea Org, I was persona non grata and coming back to Minnesota (where I had been an Ideal Org missionaire) was the ultimate backstab as far as they were concerned. So that is when the real fun started for me (sarcasm). And that is what ended up showing me what RCS was really all about. They made me into their enemy all on their own.
I did have support from my family once I left the Sea Org. I don’t know if I would have survived the journey as safely or made it all the way out as quickly if I hadn’t had their love and support.
Chris, I also look forward to more details of your story. It is ironic that at one point you were working hard to get people into the cult as a SO Recruiter, and now you work to get people out of the cult on your blog. We play all sides of the game, don’t we? I am so glad you made it out to the winning side and can not flourish and prosper and reach your spiritual goals and help others find the path to truth too.
Oops, a typo. I meant to say, “and can now flourish and prosper…”
Hello, Chris,
Well we have a similar story. Incredible how we got that far.
I am right now making an “Eval” on Scientology. This is a big word as I am not Evaluator trained. I am just using the data and pattern of Scientology Handbook. I am actually a Dianeticist which I consider a marvellous subject. All of the materials from 48 to end of 51 are really a wonder. I love in particular the subject of Logic. This is really cool. I’d like to make a team as I already found interesting points.
Look at this one:
May be you read the chapter “Emotional Curve” in Advanced Procedure and Axioms. You have a downward curve — a sudden drop in tone– and then you have the upward curve — a raise in tone. The last helps you find an ally. Ok?
Now look at that. DM is of course an ally on the 3rd Dynamic. He is the heroe, he “salvaged Scientology and our spiritual freedom”. He is great, he tells the truth, He is the one to help because he is so vital to all of us.”
Do you follow me? Nobody inside is going to look at anything that could make DM wrong. That would be so terrible.
Have you ever had a good strong ally? Well I had one. I got into verbal fights with my wife each time she tried to lower my ally. What she was telling me were facts but I would not see them. I was blind. My ally was right and that’s it. You don’t see anything, man! The ally is always right (this is basic in Dianetics.
Now how come? Well you remember the 80’s? 82 was a real 3rd Dynamic engram. It was a terror time period with the threat of losing Scientology and our hope of Spiritual Freedom. Personnally I was terrified. The issues of that time were terrible. I believe the group was in a full blown Painful Emotional Engram — a big Secondary. The Management was 1.5. Terrible times. The rule was Enforced and Inhibited Affinity, Reality and Communication — exactly as per Science of Survival. Very enturbulated times.
Now guess what? The Hero came. First Int Management, and then COB. There was the IRS win and he was the Top Gun Heroe! “SIR… DONE!!! Gosh what a show. And here we have the tone level of the group going up. The ally is there, communicating, HE SALVAGED US OUR FUTURE OUR FREEDOM FROM ETERNAL PAIN AND OBLIVION;
The guy continues with the show. He must stay a valid ally.
So only truth will undo the ally.
Why I was thinking of an Eval is that the right data and the right why is like indicating a BPC. During those engramic years so called LRH issues came in, They almost destroyed Scientology. I have quite some data but not all. So my idea of a team of veterans.
Another point which blew my mind the other day is a completely inverted Admin Scale and actually a completely reversed Importances. Now the most important is the “top” ie COB.
Whereas again if you look at Dianetics, the most important was not LRH but the simple people. The guy down in the street. And the next important is the auditor. The “top” is actually the least important.
Anyway I stop there for right now. But if you or other old timers are interested you can join me.
I am not quite sure yet how as I don’t have a secured comm line with hushmail and I don’t know how it works. But already answer me here and we’ll see.
We have a very interesting game and future because we are not under orders. If we consider Dianetics and Scientology as the tools of an artist, well, we have some nice paintings to do as we are free and we can create.
Joseph
Well said , Chris. I knew your mom and dad at Pasadena back in the day and remember them fondly. That mission was larger than all but a handful of orbs today and much much more on purpose. All the best to you in this new chapter of your life.
Chris,
You describe the mindset of being a dedicated Scientologist very well. Like Tom Cruise, who believes he posesses special abilities in the event he drives by an accident, we felt that we were doing something of cosmic importance. WHAT A JOKE! How deluded we were!
And how GOOD is it to be free of that madness.
Hi Chris, welcome to freedom!
I stayed in the church as long as I did for the very same reasons.
I admire what you are doing to show others the way out of the labyrinth of soul death.
If there is anything I can do to help you, let me know.
Thank you for sharing Chris. I wish you nothing but the very best. Great decision and welcome to the real world. Everyday will get better and better; you will find many new friends out here who share your same views. Best of luck to you.
Thanks for sharing you story Chris and for what you did to forward Scientology all these years.
As a former staff member at a Cl V org for 13 years every point you talked about is true for myself. When LRH created the post of Staff Section Officer and later the Universe Corp. staff felt there was still a possibility of getting up the bridge. Unfortunately for most this still did not happen for them.
I left staff in the mid 80’s for several reasons, taking care of my family, lack of any health care, the high cost of services for public and the lack of progress up the bridge for staff. From the stories of staff members of the 90’s to now, it’s amazing that anyone joins and stays on staff.
Look forward to reading you entire story.
After seeing what you and others like you have done I can’t image your reaction when Captain Davey touted “Tom Cruise is the most dedicated Scientologist that I know”. I guess he considers people like yourself, Mike and hundreds of other dedicated staff to be just slaves or his servants and not Scientologists.
Yes, that comment re Tom Cruise is one of the most insulting statements I’ve ever read.
When David Miscavige stood on stage and said that about Tom Cruise, it was quite honestly one of the biggest shocks I ever experienced in Scientology. I could not believe he actually said that about someone who was not a Sea Org member. I had never felt so betrayed before.
It took me days to “justify” that in my own head and somehow accept that an actor in movies was more important and was doing more for humanity than someone like me, who was only dedicated myself to the cause 24/7 for decades.
I look back on that now and see it for what it is: David Miscavige bitch slapping every single Scientologist for no reason other than that he can.
Guy really makes me wanna get physical with him.
Yes Chris, I too was shocked and felt betrayed when he said TC was the best Scn he knows. What a slap that was for you and all other dedicated SO members who gave of your lives 24/7 and as you said, most never even got auditing. Thank you for your years of service to mankind. You can help or not in the Indie field as you see fit. And you can go up the Bridge for real out here amongst good and kind people who have your back.
Some days I just feel like such a brat 🙂
Excellent write-up, Chris. I’ve noticed some of your posts before and have always been impressed by the clear rationale behind your reasoning. This post was yet another example of your unflinching honesty.
The products of Miscavige are misery, illness and death. That’s the bottom line.
I’m glad you escaped his group’s suppressive influence and are shining a light to show others the way out of the dark labyrinth that the C of S has become. Thank you.
Beautiful, heartwarming story. Welcome to a group of individuals that has proven to have the courage to confront and pursue real truth. Your words of wisdom, spoken from experience, will be appreciated. Thank you. Bless your journey.
Chris, I don’t have time to read this right now but I know I will love to read it at the end of today. I did forward it to Jack cc his daughter & my son with my condolences for his loss.
Thank you 🙂
[Chris used to work with my X who helped disconnect my children from me]
This communication was very real to me.
So glad you made it out, Chris!
I couldn’t agree with you more re why people stay in despite everything. Some of the most intelligent and wonderful people I’ve known and worked with have been RCS members.
Thanks for putting yourself out there to tell more of how it is.
Great, Chris. You stated that very clearly. I’m glad you found your way out of the trap.
Thanks for sharing your story Chris. RCS is digging its own grave by their actions. Staff members should be cherished for the heroes they are.
Great writeup, Chris. So nice to put a face to the name. I have enjoyed your writings as Galactic Patrol, but applaud you for taking the plunge to go public despite the disconnections and losses. It will only get better from here on out and you are among true friends. Welcome!
Chris thank you and I am glad you are doing well now, even happy as you stated.
Good write up and it does state things as they really are.
So, yes, lets hope others read it and see the truth.
Thank you Chris, welcome to a sane life.
VVWD
Lookin good, Chris! I am happy to see you here.
🙂
Beautiful post, Chris. Bravo! My wife pointed out your post today and said, “Intelligent and spot on. That’s the way it was.”