Just when you thought it couldn’t get cheesier.
Give us $10,000 and we will give you a special pin to commemorate the 20th Anniversary of the IAS event. Note, the event was held on 8 October, but the commemorative pin “expires” Thursday 15 August at 2pm! Gimmick much?
With this pin, you are being “given the chance” to “be a part of this historic movement.” A pin now makes you part of a historic movement? This event was a movement?
Maybe they will mint a special “Civil Rights” pin so you can be part of that historic movement too? Oh, that’s right, they already have “The Humanitarian” movement pin…. I was too late with that idea.
How about the “Gay Rights” historic movement pin? Probably not a big seller amongst the KoolAid Klan….
I know, the next “Movement Pin” should be “The Great Depression” pin — by giving your money you too can become part of that historic event. A perfect synergy.
To:
Subject: THIS IS THE LAST WEEK Message ID: Date: Mon, 12 Aug 2013 Dear Xxxxxx,
This year is the 20th Anniversary of the legendary IAS ’93 event that was just shown in a new unit of time internationally. In commemoration of that the IAS created the limited edition IAS pin. This pin is available to everyone who upgrades his membership or honor status level or makes a donation of $10,000 starting July until this upcoming Thursday, August 15th. So as you can see, this is the last week it’s available.
I wanted to give you the chance to be a part of this historic movement.
This is the year of BIG PUSH and your support is needed like never before because your support of the IAS makes all the difference.
You can contact me for any assistance at (323) 644-3555.
Sincerely,
Ilya Caplin
Membership Executive
Western United States
Just a final note — this is the year of BIG PUSH? What does that mean? Big push on what? The earlier years were just practice crush regging? Now we are really serious about it? The push is on YOU!
Jeesus, is there anyone left in the official Cof$ that even has a dime?????
For $10,000 I could get a handbag, like a Hermes. Handbags are a big part of my spiritual growth.
I could make a far prettier pin out of an M&M and a Sharpie 🙂
Looks like you hit a nerve!
“What does that mean? Big push on what? The earlier years were just practice crush regging? Now we are really serious about it? The push is on YOU! ”
Definitely. And the “new” “Big Push” is exactly what it has been for years. It is a STAT PUSH.
Specifically, it is called a G.I. PUSH (gross income push).
The following are some quotes from one of those LRH policies that most staff members have probably never read. It is in the Green Vols, but my guess is that this, like another one entitled “Ideal Orgs”, will disappear from any later editions. It is HCOPL 20 Sept 1976, entitled “The Stat Push”:
…”Pushing a stat without doing anything to bring about the stat is an aberration.”
…”Therefore pure, raw, naked stat pushing is an outpoint called “wrong target”.
…”There are some specialized actions in stat pushing. Chief amongst them is the ‘G.I. Push’ “.
…”Then there is also Mr. Stat Faker.He knows that he will get into trouble if his STAT is down. So he simply
dreams up a figure and puts it on graph paper.”
… “There is one common denominator that the stat pusher, the stat ignorer and the stat faker have. And
that is AN ABSENCE OF SKILLED MANAGEMENT.” (The “loud” caps are from the policy itself)
I highly recommend reading this policy in full, especially for anyone who is or has ever been a staff member or a registrar. It has been neglected and ignored for decades.
The end result is what we are now observing in the COS, or rather the RCS. (Radical Church of Scientology)
Why doesn’t he just take their money and let them select their own historic movements and events to honor? For example, there might be considerable interest in honoring
* The Suffragette Movement
* The East Coast Blackout of 2003
* The Boston Tea Party
* Woodstock
* The Fall of the Berlin Wall
* Stonewall
* The Signing of the Declaration of Independence
* The Beatles’ Appearance on Ed Sullivan
* The End of World War II
* The Night I Lost My Virginity
That last one could be a big ticket item 😉
Laughter!
Just Me – don’t ever….. EVER …. compare an epochal event (did I really just use that word?) like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan with something as relatively minor as the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I mean … could John Hancock, Tom Jefferson and friends ever harmonize “yeah, yeah, yeah”? And anyway, compared to the Sullivan program, that whole Revolution thing was not “a really big shew.”
ha ha ha. Good one.
Thomas Jefferson would never sing We Stand Tall! lol
Over 30 years ago, Robin Williams, after coming out of a drug rehab, said “Cocaine is God’s way of letting you know you have too much money.” This little piece of tin is not for your workaday Scio who’s maxed out on his cards. This is for the idiots who are still coming to the Freewinds or to Flag on their six month “refreshers” (you know, refreshing the CoS coffers) – they’ve just plopped down their 20 – 40 Gs (or most likely much more) and right before the routing form is signed, the reg hits them up with a “Columbo” – oh, by the way, one last thing ….. we’ve got these great pins celebrating COB’s historic ………. . You know, what’s another 10? Circuit City used to do this after you paid 60 bucks for your new Sony Walkman …. hey, for just another 12 bucks you should buy our two year insurance plan just in case you drop …… Yeah, yeah, I know, Circuit City went out of biz, but remember, Circuit City had an inventory to maintain and a payroll to meet. In the CoS, with no guaranteed exchange and slave labor?….. it’s all gravy, baby, all gravy.
And if you seriously think Davey is not taking a taste (as they say in La Cosa Nostra) … you know, maybe $500 bucks on this pin, routed through 6 different accounts and countries under various expenses and what have you until it winds up in a Swiss account, YOU are delusional. He’s probably worth 20 or 30 mill by now AT LEAST (maybe ten times as much). Every time Nancy Cartwright gets socked in and needs to outflow her cash to get out of her depression, Davey gets way richer himself. My predicition: Davey gets another 20 years as COB. That’s how stupid and robotic the sheeple have had to make themselves just to survive in the topsy turvy bizarre world of the church of scientology. How do I know? The pin, baby, the pin, that’s all you need to know. If there were no customers, this item wouldn’t be in the store.
And I’ll be saying FUCK YOU Dave for the next 20 years.
Perhaps some of the funds will be used for the new Scientology Pac Base Events Center and Auditorium?
Possibly Helpful Advice: http://possiblyhelpfuladvice.com/?p=14292#more-14292
ESMB: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?32781-PAC-Event-Center-huh
WWP: https://whyweprotest.net/community/threads/new-pac-base-events-center-and-auditorium.113047/
Flier: http://possiblyhelpfuladvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/PACFlier.jpg
Nah, I forgot. The new Scientology Pac Base Events Center and Auditorium will of course have to be funded locally.
How much for a “get out of jail free” card? That’s what Davey needs.
Mike Rinder, you are one funny guy.
At the end of evey pin is a prick….I think I know who that is.
VSB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSl1pLzlM3A
I was watching late night TV and Ronco had that exact same pin on sale for $14.99 plus S&H. I acted immediately and got a second pin free just like they promised!
Did he spray hair onto it?
Mike I think is the best busisness…buy a piece of gold for 100 if is gold and sell this one for 10,000 USD. I think we should pay..because we are helping people..so they can be free…..I think Mike that is the biggest lie of the fucking world…..I know people are blind and probably they wil pay…plus just remember is going to be a big push like MF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I think is a good business….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too funny Mike! I would love to be able to watch a “Tonight Show” with you as host. Coming out with a daily monologue on the days events and interviewing various people. You really have the gift of thin slicing, and translating the truth.
I could imagine if he had a YouTube channel it would be pretty popular 🙂
Um, how do we know that this is a specialuniqueoneofakind pin and not a recycled, re-purposed pin? What makes THIS pin any different than the others the IAS keeps stashed in their glove compartment to give suckers at 2am when they finally cave and hand over a check?
Perhaps the law pf physics cease to exist with this pin and it’s a MAGIC pin.
And if you believe that, I got some beans to sell ya.
The importance of the IAS 20th Anniversary pin cannot be underestimated.
True. It is already lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.
I’ll overestimate it then laugh my ass off! Fuck You Dave!
The IAS regges are reported to have *Dominance* and *Seniority* over regular staff both Sea Org and non SO staff. They have been granted *Powers* to reg and over ride normal staff in the hierarchy. Oh boy.
I had a great movement this morning, after eating Mexican last night. Maybe I will make a pin to commemorate it…
You could always donate it!
IAS has been redefined and now stands for International Association of Sciendollargists.
+ 1
Sinar,
I thought it was the International Association of Sociopath Adherents? IASA
Or International Association of Scammers
Mike, perhaps you are too hard on the poor church.
There are those for whom these fundraising gimmicks and programs are a great service. Just think if you are both very weathly and very shallow, what better way to get the warm and fuzzies about your own vast humanitarianism and goodwill towards your fellow man?
And if u keep giving and contributing, then you are fawned over by various staffs and given FRONT ROW seating at all the events. Church bigwigs make sure you hobnob with captive celebrities and other leading lights within the church, and if you acheive ATM MegaMeritorious Status the GREAT MAN himself will occasionally chit-chat with you and personally assure you that you are a BIG BEING and not one of the Degraded Beings that are so common, even within the church.
For those with more money than sense, with no real concept of how to help the common dreck of the world, such Fundrasing and Opportunity to Contribute is of great value. For these elite folks, the Cof$ has acheived the 5th Level of Exchange.
Please Mike, you have to admit there are those how love and appreciate this Money Culture in the church as it now operates. Can you imagine Bryan Zwan flying into town on his private jet for an event and not being escorted directly to the Front Row?
For those few of you who can’t come up with the $10K by tomorrow at 2 pm, not to worry. There is nothing on this pin that references the 1993 event, so if there are any left (and I’m guessing there will be) they can just drag them out for the next “Big Push” and you can get one then. See? There’s always hope.
What a coincidence!! Ilya’s wife Stephanie used to be the…wait for it…the Field Control Sec ASHO Day!! She’s in the IAS now, since she’d already spent so much time fundraising for the IAS anyway.
Does that mean that they get more or less of a commission?
Oh man I was totally going to buy one but then I figured they must be swamped with demand so why bother. Oh well, maybe I’ll use that money to go PTS to the middle class with a nice home theater!
Speaking of the cheesy getting cheesier, in Canada some call Miscavige “Le Grand Fromage.”
Except that he is all rind. (Reminds me of when the Gorgonzola cheese went wrong…..)
I know my interpretation of the Big Push is nowhere near the creative imagery that comes to mind as a result of what was earlier discussed…but I think it’s that terrorized, frantic push-back type of reaction that a cornered animal gets into when it sees it is stuck and is going to be in a fight for its life.
Oh! What a joke! Sadly, there will be buyers…….so sad!
Kirstie Alley will buy one.
Of course. All the Whales will. No excuses or power of choice for them.
People, I don’t even have the time to fully read Mike’s post, or any of your comments yet. That’s how ON THIS I am, OK? I WANT THAT PIN !!! Now, all that I have is some gold jewelry left to me by my family, a couple of thou in the bank, and a gold filling in my lower, far-right molar but I think with these I can squeak out the 10K!!! Please all of you ack me for applying “The Supreme Test” in a way that of which LRH would so heartily approve. Hip Hip Hooray.
And Mike Rnder, THANK YOU, Sir for posting this, and giving me the opportunity to be a Contender, as now, unlike Terry Malloy in “On The Waterfront” I’ll never have to say to my fellow Scientologists, “I could have been a contender; I could have been SOMEBODY, instead of a bum, which is what I am”. Honestly, there is just NO feeling which compares to validating my existence by contributing in this meaningful way to the IAS! I’ll be posting my Success Story here as well. I know you are all looking forward to reading it !!
Aquamarine, you’re too funny!
Hell, I have a ‘movement’ every day and I don’t get a pin for it!
If you look very closely into the flame on the medal you can see David Miscavige’s universe.
OMG A companion pin for the Vagina Status medal
That’s a real dis of vaginas Jose. You better take it back, you might need one later. :O
If you were to wear that pin out in public it would be like Hester Prynne’s scarlet letter A, except that in this case you would be admitting to stupidity.
I don’t want to do that.
And of course, after this pin, will come another promotion of “limited time” to get another pin. If this was for big push, the next one should be “we will push you even harder to donate for more.” And don’t worry, we will create more pins for “only this chance in your eternity”…
Joan Rivers began her career as a stand up comedian, and she had a funny line about how she was still single and unmarried much later than most other women were then and her mother was so worried she put up a sign in front of their home that said, “Last Girl Before Freeway”.
The desperate flailing about/grabbing at ideas for income in the RCS now is so palpable now that I wouldn’t be surprised if DM did his own version…”Last Chance For Your Eternity”…I have this picture, somehow.
This is one more piece of evidence demonstrating the utter toxicity of
Miscavige’s organization. The general public at large, so thoroughly repulsed and repelled by his odorous excrescences, all that remains is his INTERNAL PUBLIC, which he is cannibalizing with greater and greater frequency.
It really is true, as you say: It sucks to be Miscavige.
Google “Pinhead” images. Same expression. Masochism is -24 on the Awareness Scale, just below Sadism. Awareness in reverse, “I’m so Elated I bought TWO pins!! One for each nipple! Yay!”
That’s hilarious. I thought at least it must be the “anniversary” of something significant like the IAS formation summit of 1984 but no, it’s the “anniversary” of His Finest Hour Event of 1993! You really couldn’t make it up.
Perhaps you couldn’t. He certainly can. You have to admit, when some people are given a chance to get money, they get really creative.
Think creative accounting. Another wonderful subject that brings out the best some minds have to offer.
The year of the BIG PUSH is more likely going to be the year of the BIG PIN prick – which will burst the bubble.
“Your support is needed like never before” (no cogent explanation given)…….Oh if only I had a dollar – or a pin for every time I heard that ( I could deal in bulk metal).
If you order now we’ll send you a second pin absolutely free!*
*just pay separate shipping and handling (approx. $10,000).
Wow, as a former Scientologist (admittedly for a short time and just for a couple of courses and getting about 20 hours of auditing for free from an auditor in training at the Long Island Org) the most nerve-wracking part of my day was how to turn down the constant requests for donations (I was a college student making about 4 bucks an hour at the Gap part-time), do more courses or join staff.
Banana republic.
“You can contact me for any assistance at (323) 644-3555.”
Pray, tell, what exactly would said assistance consist of?
you sign on this line here
“Can I take your card number?”
If you need the credit limits raised on your maxed out cards, they’ll be happy to assist with that.
Why “assistance” with lightening that wallet of course! So helpful and theta!
Maybe he will help you get your cc limits increased. Flag regges did that a lot, probably still do.
Mike,
It’s very fitting the final season of Breaking Bad just started.
If you haven’t seen any of the series I suggest that be your big push cuz Walter White does a great job of what it’s like to be David Miscavige.
Only difference is Walt doesn’t have an entourage, doesn’t cheat on his wife, doesn’t hit people for comic relief and only wears top of the line WalMart clothing. Other than that, Walts 2 faced demeanor and effort to unfuck the fucked up things he is responsible for pretty much sums up Pope on A Applebox to the Teeee!
Thanks for all you do to make my day a better day and POB’s day that much more interesting!
– Jackson
Another difference.. walter white has a product people want.
This is hilarious!!
It does make me think about the datum that a flow can only flow so long in one direction. This particular flow is pretty close to being stretched to the limit.
Can you imagine some rich bot wearing his IAS leather jacket with all of his “merit badges” like decorations in the military? Several rows of pins telling everyone how many “movements” he has been involved in and just how very, very much he cares? He or she is buying..a..stairway…to heaven.
What about those god awful trophies? Geez, ya need a custom-made stand to house one of those. And who is even interested in trophies or pins nowadays? Sounds like my old high school days. But grown-ups? Give me a break. When I did my Patron I didn’t get anything, and never asked for anything. Then 10 years later they practically begged me to go up on stage to receive my award. No thanks. And they had the gall to require I purchase a Patron’s Ball ticket for the privilege! F*ck off.
Can’t these people just do something of merit and NOT insist that it be recognized with all the bling? Just doing something worthwhile and know you had something to do with it, without the need for public adulation.
I always thought those trophies were just Photoshopped in — that they were not real. You mean people took those ridiculous things home with them and displayed them in the foyer?! Seriously?
Hahahaha 🙂
They are proudly displayed when other KoolAid drinkers come around and hidden when any Non Scientologists visit for fear they will ask the obvious question: “What the hell is that monstrosity? Did you win it throwing rings over boxes on the Midway?” And if they persist “Well, I gave them $5 million and they gave me this piece of fine art” then the fun REALLY begins.
But if you want STATUS, there is nothing like one of those Greek Wedding Cake Topper style trophies to impress the sheeple. “My, how incredible On Source and amazingly OT you are!”
Soon they will be handing over crowns and tiaras…. 🙂
Yeah Statpush.
It reminds me of the old saying: ” I went to the _______ and all I got was this lousy T-shirt”.
I gave 5 million dollars and all I got was this lousy gaudy piece of shit trophy.
It makes the guy who goes to the carnival and wastes $100 throwing those wooden rings onto coke bottles look like a friggin genius. Lol.
Tony,
Went through my jewelry box.
Found:
Clear bracelet #10611. 20 Jan. 79.
Pin: Stamped FREUNDB VON on the front and L.Ron Hubbard Library on the back.
Pin: International Association Of Scientologist with the Americas on the front of the Pin
Pin: 2 International Association Of Scientologist Sponsor pins
Pin: 2 triangles crossed with an S
Pin: Way To Happiness
Pin: Another big fat Sponsor pin that shows the Americas , Greenland, Western part of Europe and some parts of west Africa.
I thought I was doing well for the world.
I like my Rotary pin.
Shows we will get rid of Polio in the world.
Good job Curt.
Your heart was in the right place.
I gave 1000.00 I didn’t have and Howard Becker gave me a Polo shirt for my effort then had the gal to ask for more. First, Howard Becker go FUCK YOURSELF. Second, I could not bear to give the shirt to Good Will. It’s been deposited in the San Diego (Miramar) landfill. Third, FUCK YOU Dave!
Dinner at the IAS ball $200.
New IAS pin….$50,000.
Telling Howard Becker to go fuck himself….priceless.
This is almost beyond parody… Doesn’t mean the Joking and Degrading should stop, though!
“This is the year of BIG PUSH”
So true, I pushed my way past the reg, out of the church door and pushed on to financial freedom.
“I wanted to give you the chance to be a part of this historic movement.”
True again. This historic movement, is me leaving for good, with my cheque book and credit cards.
I hope others do the same.
+100 .
“This is the year of BIG PUSH and your support is needed like never before because your support of the IAS makes all the difference.” ………… and we can eat and make the car payment.
Oh no, the gag-o-meter is registering significant tremors again. Are you f–king kidding? Bad enough that Mr. Fraud (for those of you just tuning in, David Miscavige) forced all the orgs to show his big multi-million dollar vanity event for the umpteenth time, but now Mr. Greed (alias for Mr. Fraud) wants you to fork over $10,000 for a pin commemorating his great moment? Year of the Big Push? You mean the Big Push to vacuum up as much more money as possible from the passengers on the sinking ship of fools before it goes down?
To Handle the overwhelming demand, Iv’e set up a toll free #: 1 (800) sucker with honors!
thank god it’s with “honors”! That makes it all worth it. Thank you.
The IAS discussion must be all about the biggest movement in years which would somehow have to include the “like never before” DM bowel movement which will take it’s rightful place among all of His other ‘movements’..
Go Dave
Why pay $10,000.00? I’ll sell you mine for 1/10 the cost, or $1,000 and it has a real diamond in it!
Then to top it all off, I’ll post your picture with me presenting it to you On This Blog! – offer only good till this week-ending, Thursday 2:00PM.
Hi Steve…
At least I sold my IAS pins when gold was over $1500 – now I need to wait until it goes back up again to consider selling that OVERPRICED OT VIII bracelet!
Bruce
Gag me with another IAS Pin!
Silly Mike. If you’ve ever been constipated, you know what a “Big Push” is.
You’re a bad man POT. 🙂
Maybe that’s all that is wrong with DM? Chronic constipation. So much so that it’s backed up and coming out the other end.
Jeez, somebody light a match!
It’s the old management trick of “Employee of the month” a plaque and a hat. Talk about hypnotism.
Gee ,a movement with a big push! I get one free every morning but I never thought of wearing a 10k pin to display my pride in it, this is truly a technological breakthrough.
LOL!! (No rolling on the floor after what you just said!)
Hahahahahahahaha that’s a great one! Love it. 🙂
So funny : )
You are being very naughty! Go to your room for a no-pin time-out.
The real IAS movement…non stop potty humor. I’m so happy I’m not flushing my money down the IAS toilet anymore! HEY OH
🙂
LMFAO!!!! “I get a free one every morning”. Priceless. And your morning movement is, by far, worth more than this stupid ass IAS pin!!!
“the legendary IAS ’93 event that was just shown in a new unit of time”…
for the millionth time.
Such a relief not to be part of this shit anymore. Who are they fooling with the constant over-the-top hyperbole?
Who are they fooling with the constant over-the-top hyperbole?
Very, very few, if any. If there’s one thing you can say about the corporate faithful, it’s that they’ve heard it all before, and have now become thoroughly immune to it. The only reason they continue to donate, is fear.
Spot on.