Now, this is a deadly serious activity. It is also another of those inadvertently revealing things from inside the bubble that appears out of the ether with more regularity than one would expect.
“Sean and Frank” clearly mean business.
And this is VERY important.
We need to find out what scientologists “think” about a “few things.”
Well, being a sucker, I took the bait.
Here is the first question:
Now, what good scientologist would not answer that they have at at least “wanted” to do this at some point? It’s like asking “have you ever wanted to have money”. It’s designed to gain some agreement and really has nothing to do with anything else in the “survey.”
The next question is a little more to the point — but still is almost like the one above. Intended to get someone nodding their head in agreement and moving onto the next question,
And now the Truth Revealed. This is a Sea Org recruitment pitch. Starting out with a bit of a qualifying question — if you are breathing and don’t have a certificate from a pharmacist that you did in fact take actual LSD and were not taking something else that just looked and acted like LSD — you qualify.
And that is literally the end.
Do that loving pair Sean and Frank think they are going to accomplish something with this survey?
Really?
This is the sort of thing someone does either: a) to cynically prove to your boss that you are doing something other than just sitting in your office getting nothing done or b) you are so desperate you will try just about anything.
If this is what they are doing to try to recruit people for Flag you know they are not getting many recruits. They have relied pretty much exclusively on the children of scientologists and people from Venezuela, Central America and Eastern Europe for their recruitment in recent years. It would not appear things have changed.
So much for the “important survey”…
The best disseminating of scientology I have ever seen is from the Aftermath program, Go Mike and Leah!
Is there some significance to their tie colors?
Are we to believe that the guys in the pic are Sean and Frank?
Aren’t ALL recent SO crew Eastern European or S. American?
SOMEthing about that pic bugs me, just a niggling little thing, nothing I can put a finger on….
Mike, if I could, I’d excise from my last everything after “mindless”, which was leftover from a previous version. BUT, there’s no more 5 minutes to edit button.
Hi Peggy: I left directly from the RPF; possibly by being FB’d out, perhaps just “beached” as too much trouble, as *I* never figured out why I was RPFed, nor why I was later released, allowed a day or so to box my stuff up & ship it home, then get on my motorcycle and leave CW in the rear views forever. There were no comm , not even a chat with MAA that I recall at this late date. I suspect part of it was that they could see that the RPF was hardly a strain for me, due to my fitness level. I was in better shape than most. I wasn’t *cheerful* about it, but they got exactly the minimum necessary out of me.Too, I was wont to say “This is ridiculous.” whenever the mood struck, which was fairly often, as I sweated profusely and panted, often on the floor right where I’d just collapsed dramatically after the obligatory “running” into the room. I jogged faster than most of them could run, and I could maintain that jog for a few miles.
After a while, I JUST DIDN’T CARE, and they knew it.
SURVEYS
“back in the day”we weren’t able to ID who hadn’t returned a survey except for the letter regges’ noting they’d included one in a letter, but received no reply of that letter, no returned survey. We found that scientologists love to fill out some surveys Including a BRE survey was almost certainto get a reply, which adds A LOT to the letter regges’ stats. Requiring the recipient to put on a stamp … didn’t work so well….
THAT survey? would be surprised if they got 1% response rate
My wife handles our mail, unceremoniously dumping Scientology’s obvious mail into the circular file
My wife also *discourteously* hangs up on scn callers, which distresses her to do. She was taught to be more courteous and understanding to the poor cold-callers than that. In a weak moment last Wednesday, I picked up a call from flag. After hearing the caller *try* to start her “script”, I asked for and got someone who spoke English as their primary language (*snark*). Then comes on the line, NONE OTHER than RICK ALEXANDER!, from NYO back in the ’70s [We’d been in similar orbits back then. Never did figure out what Flag was trying to reg me for, but heard some of his & Minty’s news which I promptly forgot. suffice to say it was a shock to hear him, never mind his sounding hale & hearty and sharp-witted in his late 60s or maybe 70s(just guessing). I Felt good FOR him for a bit; his health seemed good, but I realized he was STILL in the grind, still going for the stats, whatever his post is now, (I didn’t ask)
and here I was, talking to him from bed soon after reviewing the previous night’s Aftermath, happily retired, with my gorgeous girl (wife) next to me. Poor guy will be grinding away for stats until he keels over, I suppose. Thus, I GUESS that I’m not declared or dead-filed despite my best efforts over the years if they’ll call to TALK to me. Dead-filed or Declared, I think, from the PL I saw recently (didn’t see/read it when I was the CF Officer. the org disconnects from US, doesn’t call or write. I should probably ask the next time they call, and see what status I am in. If I cared enough, I guess I could call them direct, but does anyone know the direct # of the Flag MAA or IJC? I also got a call from AOLA, trying to get me to SOME event, as did FCDC, a few hours before their New Years’ bash. (We couldn’t have made it there in time even if we’d cared to go. It would take us two or three hours to get there that close to crush hour. Now, that’s some last-minute scrambling for stats.
Scientology ain’t got nuttin’ that we want.
mindless stuff that didn’t stress my body much. After awhile of the mindless work, I basically said (frequently):”This is BS.It’s not accomplishing anything and I don’t know why I’m being punished anyway.”(There had been no comm-ev or other formal ‘ethics’ thing.) I did the running, which was no strain — but when I got someplace before the folks in charge (usually), I would like-as-not collapse on the floor, say “This is ridiculous”, and sit there panting and sweating until the powers that be showed up. In other words, not refusing duty, but making my opinion known . After awhile of that, I suppose I was FB’d out. as I got no goldenrod or any formal ‘ethics’ action that I was aware of. I was just given the opportunity to box up most of my stuff and ship it home, then in August 1980, when temps of 105° were being posted all up and down the East coast, I got on my motorcycle and put CW in the rear views. A bunch of months later, said girlfriend called me up at my Mom’s place to try to get me to pay my “freeloader” bill, WHICH I HADN’T RECEIVED, still haven’t seen. So, I didn’t ‘blow’, at east not all at once. During the initial depression, I did sorta blow by not doing my post for a while, but I stuck around in case anyone wanted to talk with me (No one did, not my senior, not HCO, not my girlfriend, which itself was further depression.)So WHAT if I’m not doing my job? I was just a file clerk, though a darn good one.At one point after I returned home and was working as a programmer, I heard that the ‘replaced’ me with 3 crew members. Hey, I left the post in relatively good shape, my hat fully written up including the ‘tricks of the trade’ I’d discovered and ALL LRH references.
I’m impressed with how upstat Sean and Frank look. It takes courage to put yourself out there like that when you know you are going to fail. If just one person joins because of this survey, these guys will be believe themselves to be Tone 40.
Dear Surveyors,
1. Are you aware Dianetics and later Scientology was all a scam to make money, avoid prosecution, and control people?
2. Do you realize there is no “tech”, it was all made up by a paranoid megalomaniac sitting around, often drugged, just thinking and thinking – and there never was any research, he simply he wrote it all down as cheap fiction, no different from his penny-a-word magazine shorts.
3. Have you realized that auditing is just an unworkable, discarded psyche treatment for various maladaptations related to mood, behaviour, cognition, and perceptions; and did you know it was called ‘abreaction therapy’, that it never worked well, that it was truly invented and used by psyches, that the psychiatrists and psychologists discarded it as unworkable right about the time Hubbard started using it, that all Hubbard did was add a little hypnotic effect he called ‘reverie’, and that Hubbard borrowed the emeter from someone else, and, knowing it only measured electricity, decided to lie and claim it measured brain stuff, then he used the psychiatric treatment he renamed ‘auditing’ as a tool to control and wring money from participants, all because that fit with the fiction he was writing?
4. Bonus question A:
Describe in 500 words or less why abreaction therapy failed to make its way into the modern treatment regimens of psychology and psychiatry, and what Hubbard did to revive it and make it into a money-making tool. Describe ‘reverie’ and ‘dissociation’ and their place in the Hubbard scam. Describe ‘wins’ and why those undergoing auditing were forced to claim them. Report on one or more deaths or significant adverse reactions closely allied with the use of auditing by auditors with no certifications in medicine, psychology, psychiatry, or basic first aid.
5. Bonus question B:
List five ways one can prove past lives exist, including verifiable names, dates, and archaeological evidence related to the claims of past lives. Include the role of DNA in past life research. Do not include any evidence that has not passed peer review or that can’t be replicated.
I know this is one survey you guys will never read, but then, to be fair, I never read much of Hubbard’s fiction, either.
Ammo speaking truth and cutting right through the b.s.!
Questions. Did most of the people here get out because an opportunity to blow presented itself or did you have to go through whatever process they call to get permission to leave? Does it mostly depend on whether members are in the Sea Org, or live outside of cult owned property?
Also, when surveys like this go out is it sent to everyone whether they are in or technically out of the cult? If someone doesn’t reply are they flagged at possible “enemies”?
That survey reminds me of an old impossible-to-answer question in the legal world, which went, “When did you stop beating your wife?”
1. Have you ever wanted to spread the word of scientology abuses worldwide?
A:Yes, To the” HELL,YES!” (and that uses up my quota of ‘bad’, (possibly offensive) words for the month, scientology being one of them. To those ‘in the know’, there ain’t much that’s more offensive.
—–
Tick, Tock, Davey Boy.
Sean and Frank, a suggestion. Do a dancing with the stars type number with the two of you to create interest – don’t worry about appearing gay. That way potential recruits will see the possibility of artistic expression in the Sea Org. Once they’re in, you’ve got ’em right where you want them.
Don’t you mean “Duncing Down the Stairs” or “Mincing on the Dunce Floor”?
Actually……they ALREADY appear to be a gay couple in that picture…….
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that……” (hat tip Jerry Seinfeld)
Sean/Frank: No to all three Q’s. Gotta fly.
Breezy
Exactly! No to all 3 questions would be the only way to answer this pathetic survey.
What about a survey as to what Scientological Holiday Jingle do you like the best – Sean and Frank?
Sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells”
D of P Calls
D of P Calls, D of P Calls
Come into the ORG and PAY!
Get sec checked and find your crimes…
be on the E-meter all day – heh!
Dashing through the snow
With a flat tire and no gas
Over to the ORG we go
Self Listing all the way – heh! heh! heh! heh!
Falls on Meters Ring
Faking F/N’s ain’t bright
What fun it is to drink cal mag and some “Emergencee” tonight
OOOOOHHHHH
D of P Calls, D of P Calls
Come into the Org and PAY!
O’ what fun it is to be
on a E-Meter all day – heh!
Scn surveys really only need two questions.
1. Do you have any money?
2. What do we have to say in order to get it?
When I was on staff, I had to do survey’s of public.
My doubt really grew when I saw how Scientology controlled it so you can’t give any answer that is not raving about Scientology.
Scientology had the survey designed with a column at the end with the Tone Scale next to the answer.
The public were not supposed to see that. They did and were very upset.
We were supposed to throw away the answer if it was below 2.0.
Scientology never does a survey where it can’t control the answer.
Those two guys look better suited to be in an advert to join the Marines. No offense intended to the Marines, but two fit, able looking guys with stern looks on their faces tends to suggest that, except the guy on the right who has a goofy stare like he’s in la la, just had a toke land. It’d be a lot better life/career move if they did join the Marines, rather than becoming a card carrying member of an abusively mind altering, family destroying cult.
The LSD angle I find amusing now. They tried so hard to convince me it wasn’t LSD I took, but just something like it – so sign up Bucko & save the universe… I never bought that, thank goodness.
In a nutshell, Scientology really sux!
“This is the sort of thing someone does either: a) to cynically prove to your boss that you are doing something other than just sitting in your office getting nothing done or b) you are so desperate you will try just about anything.”
Probably both, but if I had to venture a guess, I would imagine it’s mostly A. I’ve often wondered how much Sea Org members do busy work just to try to keep their superiors off their asses. They also have that Thursday, 2:00 PM stat deadline every week to meet. I can’t help but assume that most of what they do is just busy work (and meaningless), especially these days with not much else to do and no new recruits coming in off the streets.
They have to give their bosses something that their boss can take to their boss who can take it up to their boss who can…..etc. etc. Otherwise, there will always be someone else (on a lower rung of the ladder) to blame. I’m sure those lower-rung SO folks are well aware of how the shit rolls downhill, and they don’t want to be at the bottom of that hill if they can help it.
That is just hilarious Mike!!
Can you breath and have an IQ over 80? If so, sign here NOW!!!
Sad though, that so many of us at IQ 100+ did so… My only excuse is I was 14…
The most important questions (not mentioned, but one I’ve seen on EVERY “survey”), or should I say the only important questions – “name”, and “phone number”
Because they are not after information on public opinion. They are after the people who will actually send the survey back.
Yes, the first question and I knew it was a SO recruitment thing. I think most Scns who have been in for more than a few months are now savvy to knowing this is a SO recruitment piece and to watch out. I’m sure the person doing the survey would ask for name and phone number as part of the “get in comm” thing. The pic of the two SO recruiters, Frank and Sean, I think Frank is the one on the left as he looks like the same Frank who tried to recruit me about 10 years ago. He has aged way more than 10 years and his eyes have dark circles under then and he just looks tired. He is a young one whose life has been thrown away in this cult. I’m so sorry for him and his partner. Not only are they in the SO in this mess, but they have a job where they can’t possibly get a win on it. No one is chomping at the bit to join SO, other than the immigrants who want to get into America and will do anything to do so.
Just in re the immigrants – not sure they would do absolutely anything, because they have to be lied to in order to get them to sign up. I’m sure if it was clearly explained to them that if someone else F’s up and that causes your stats to be down, you’ll be cleaning the engine room with a toothbrush until someone arbitrarily decides otherwise, but that in any case, they will be working 100+ hours a week making the country they’re in pretty much an irrelevant question, they would be a bit less enthusiastic about the religious worker visa.
In the US how many $si’s are fifty+ years old and how many (particularly staff and Sea Org) are from other countries. I remember a YouTube video at flag with SO getting off busses and the person doing the video asks “do any of you speak English”? He was only half kidding.
I have a survey for you Sean & Frank:
1. Would you like to live your life freely and feel real freedom?
2. Would you like to reclaim your own thoughts, have your own opinions and make your own choices?
3. Do you know where the door to your prison is?
If so, get out while you still can. The Sea Org is a prison. Scn is the jailer. Good luck.
Beyond lame
Mike, I am happy to help with this survey.
1. Have you ever wanted to spread the word of Scientology?
I already disseminate Scientology to all I know: The abuses, the disconnection, the lies, the legal deceptions, the false/failed promises, the toxic purif, etc etc etc etc….
2. Have you thought about becoming an auditor?
Yep. I became one and it was fun for a while. My science background and auditor training helped me in assessing critically the workings of human minds and behavior. It also enabled me to see the working insanity of the Scientology organization and Hubbard’s personal insanity (never resolved through Hubbard’s tech).
3. Do you qualify for Sea .Org?
Probably. But more to the point is: Does Scientology qualify for me? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!
much Love and kisses from afar
Sean and Frank – in commemoration of the catastrophe that occurred 75 million years ago, and to bring a little sunshine to your undoubtedly dark and gloomy Sea Org days, I give you this:
If you knew Xenu, like I know Xenu
Oh! Oh! Oh! What a guy
None so excessive
As this suppressive
Oh! Oh! Oh! Holy Festus!
We went loading them DC-8s
Just like sardines
Dead eyes on every face
If you knew Xenu, like I know Xenu
Oh! Oh! What a guy!
Alternate version:
We packed them up tight
Ten to a box
It took forever
Man how they squawked!
If you knew Xenu, like I know Xenu
Man he was one hell of a guy!
It would appear that Sean and Frank could have used an important survey for themselves:
1. Would you like to know something about marketing?
2. Would you like to have some genuine professional skills?
3. Are you tired of being an incompetent idiot?
according to the list over at the Bunker, there are 61 Ideal Orgs, Class V. Four Advanced Orgs Ideal.
61
SIXTY ONE.
That’s a lot. How many “new people in on service” “first service starts” would you say an ideal org should be able to produce per week?
Even if it was just TEN…(and I did better than that back in the day, easily)…..
that’s 610 new people in every week. … 40 new people in a month…. … in 4 months that’s 160 new people hanging around, moving on to Div 4 services… even if just half stayed on the bridge and didn’t just blow off…that’s 80 new scios in a regular old org in a few months…
Five a week that stayed would have 260 NEW people in the org on a regular basis..in a year. in four years it should be a thousand. A THOUSAND… sitting at Org events…. ha!
Again…my money is on some lower numbers….
I’d love to get the real numbers.
Sixty One Ideal Orgs…Jesus Hell. What a waste.
I knowingly took LSD. I did quite a bit in the early 90s. The first time was at age 14 to guarantee that my parents could never get me to join the Sea Org.
Wow, just wow.
in the history of the world…how many people have joined staff off these transparent gimme gimme surveys?
My money is on Zero.
Most people avoid answering them and skip that part of the after-event survey gauntlet hell.
Rip Van W, right you are. And some will lie and say they took LSD when they didn’t just to brush them off.
Sean and Frank – I think you’d have a higher degree of success if you called yourselves Sam and Dave. Be that as it may, you’re sure to get more responses from the following questions:
1. Have you ever wanted to see Scientology dismantled worldwide?
2. Have you ever thought of becoming one of the few on the planet who think for themselves?
3. Do you qualify to join the ranks of those who dare expose the abuses of the church?
And this survey does not give them what they want. I know, in the past, several public used to answer ¨No¨ to the -Do you qualify for SO? – even if they did qualify.
The public knew if you gave a recruiter a slight indication that you may join, you would have been harassed and hounded for days on end by recruiters.
As time went on and things got worse, thanks to the tyrant, recruiters started to coordinate with the MAA whenever a public, that qualified for SO, did not want to sign the contract. The poor public went through hell, through threats, through conditions, through sec checks and so on…
They indeed are desperate to get someone to join this cult. I hope they will not succeed.
And if you actually reply honestly and say “No” to the first question, you’ll find yourself in Ethics – especially if you are an “OT.” I mean it’s an OT’s duty and should be their desire to want to disseminate scientology worldwide.
Dear Sean and Frank,
I’m helping you out here. The survey should read:
1. Have you ever wanted to spread the word of scientology abuses worldwide?
Yes. Hell to the yes.
2. Are you aware that we no longer make auditors (not that it ever mattered) since the introduction of the 3 swing f/n and the destruction of the briefing course?
Got it. Yeah I knew.
3. Do you qualify for Sea .Org?
Yes, last time I checked I could fog up a mirror. Nope, I’ve blown too many times.
There all fixed.
Val…Freshly expired bodies also emit gases that could fog a mirror…
??
@Mark Foster freshly expired bodies would qualify for Sea Org, what’s your point 😉
No shit?
No, that would be a solid.
Is that what Ron meant when he said that Earth was a dumping ground?
Other than joining from a sense of duty, I guess many people adapt to or simply enjoy an orderly and structured lifestyle in the military. That degree of conformity doesn’t fit my personality so I never vaguely considered joining the sea org. I don’t know when LSD became a disqualifying factor for joining the sea org or the reasoning behind it. It’s interesting that the survey is directed toward people who want to become top auditors.
Body language is telling us that they really don’t want a picture taken, don’t want to be where ever they are, don’t want to be next to each other.
Perhaps Sean and Frank just got their butts kicked then told get it done. (Whatever “It” Is).
It’s curious to me how hallow the eyes appear in so many of the Scientologists pictures that are plastered on a poster.
Hahaha. I spotted the “recruitment” question right from the beginning. Have you ever “wanted” to disseminate planet wide? Riiiiiiight. Not have you ever done it? Do you have any experience at this? If you want to we’ll take you. Planet wide! Saying planet wide makes it sound so glamorous, so worldly, so important. Not. It’s slavery and you could end up selling books on the street anyhow. That is dissemination after all.
Trying to disseminate Scientology these days is like trying to sell mercury laden fish to a gourmet chef.
Sure people from Central America will gladly join staff at Flag. They can seek refuge from all the persecution, abuse, low pay, threats of and actual violence, torture, inappropriate imprisonment, or denial of basic human rights or freedoms they face there. Oh wait! In the sea org it’s just the same. Oh well…..
Glenn, Imagine their surprise when they find that out!
The Third World is Miscavige’s best shot for staff.
Little do they know the Sea Org IS the Third World…….
This seems to be an effort to sort out targets.
For instance, anyone who answered “No” to the first question should immediately bend over, because you’re probably about to be checked as to why the hell not.
If you answered Yes-Yes-No, you’ll be pitched to spend a lot of money on “training” to become an auditor because whatever marketable skills you have are puny and insignificant compared to saving the planet.
If you answered Yes-No-Yes, you might have time to take a shower before they appear at your door with a Sea Org contract.
If you answered Yes-Yes-Yes, you rise to the top of the list for general fundreaming.
If your response was Yes-No-No, you might need some special “handling” before you can proceed spiritually, and I bet it’s gonna cost a lot.
chukicita – I think you answered my question above about why the survey is directed toward people who want to become top auditors. No matter how you respond to the yes/no questions the reply will be, “Thank you for completing the survey. Someone will contact you soon.” The scientologist thinks, “Huh? What? I thought I was off the hook on that survey.” Good catch. It’s clever, really.
It should read:
Are you a submissive person?
Are you highly gullible (look up)?
Do you cave easily to peer pressure?
If you said yes to atleast one of these questions you could qualify…
Bizarre! Why not just throw in some more questions to make it interesting? Makes me think tick tock scamology.
Dear Sean and Frank,
Yeah buddy, I would love to join the sea org – only thing is, I’m afraid that I might be forced into the Tiny Boots syndrome of having sex only once a year. Know what I mean?
The computer age ushered in the acronyms LIFO / FIFO (Last/First – In/Out). Before that, there was GIGO – GARBAGE In – GARBAGE Out – e.g., SCIENTOLOGY
Do you qualify for the Sea Org? … “Not sure. Currently I’m on parole in Wyoming and can’t leave the state. Does that matter?”
Let me be frank with you. Got any money?
Sean.
On parole? Well, that’s just this lifetime, after all. And your prison experience will help you contribute to the Sea Org’s purpose of putting Ethics In On The Planet. Just sign right here…
A proper survey would be to find out what the public thinks about Scientology and why they think that way. So better questions are like: Have you heard about Scientology? Do you think Scientology is good for people?
The majority answer 30 years ago (when Miscavige took over) would be “no, I have not heard of Scientology” but today the majority answer would be “Yes, I have heard of Scientology and no, I do not think it is not good for people.”
Scientology is going down the PR toilet faster than anyone… Once an organization’s PR goes that far south, then legal punishment will always follow. This is just a fact of life. Judges and government administrators take the public’s lead (not the other way around) and will try to stop Miscavige and Scientology for the common good. That is the government’s job and their motivation, not to mention Miscavige is sitting on top of $ billions in ill gotten gains by NOT following the promises made to the IRS in order to get their tax free status in 1990’s in the first place. There are many violations, not the least of which are not giving refunds to unhappy members that Miscavige promised the IRS he would pay….And, since all refunds would be a taxable event…. the IRS has plenty of cash available to them, if they just take the public’s lead in understanding Scientology is an evil organization that should not be financed by the American working public…
Robert – very well said. And, if I may add: I don’t think any of this nonsense is being Ignored by our government. Not only do I think they Realize it’s crucial that they not make a move until they are One Thousand % sure they can Nail Miscreant’s butt and Keep It Nailed, but more realistically, I can’t believe they would pass up recouping even a portion of those billions the cult has accumulated. (p.s. – my friends call me ‘cockeyed optimist’)
The problem with the cult isn’t their current bad PR. It’s that they are still able to attract young people and ruin their future potential in this life. Yeah, eternity, smeeternity. This life matters too.
There is a reason they call it present time, and one man’s opinion about spiritual freedom is not better than another man’s belief in strict materialism. Same cell, different decorum.
I don’t doubt the things they believe in, I just don’t agree with the vast majority of them. Even LRH said he had more important things to do the next time around, so I heard. They can’t even trust all those returning thetans to fill the ranks of attrition either. I feel sorry for the young and gullible though that can’t see the forest through the trees in regards to the survey. Really sorry.
As a side note, if they are right about ‘reincarnation’ then we get George Carlin again, so win-win regardless.
I didn’t have my contacts in yet and thought the title read “An Impotent Survey”.
Anyway, seems like a snarky, passive aggressive way to try and guilt someone into joining the SeaOrg.
And for the record, that “love” bit is creepy.