Well, the “OT Committee Farce” is doing their damnedest to sell Battlefield Earth — and how are they going about it? By telling everyone to buy 20 books a piece….
And this is a “religious activity”.
But the biggest joke of all is that unlike the recent books by Leah Remini and Ron Miscavige, Battlefield Earth is nowhere to be found on the NY Times bestseller list…
This is a good indicator just how many scientologists there REALLY are in the US. Every scientologist is being pressured HARD to buy copies of BE. It is an indicator of serious counter intention not to get behind this program and buy the book. It is part of the Maiden Voyage orders straight from “command.” If they cannot get the book onto ANY NY Times bestseller list then it is clear their numbers are not in the millions or even the hundred thousands. Maybe tens of thousands — but LOW tens of thousands.
Bubbles Champagne is giving it the old college try — but the OT Farce just isn’t with them apparently.
This article so much reminds me when I was in FSO and we were forced to watch Battlefield Earth in AMC over and over again to get box office numbers up… It was like a CIA torture. I have seen it 11 times. Slept through 10 of them.
I hear ya. I had to see The Pro TR’s Film over 100 times. Dave’s really got a problem with people leaving and having to pull all those films, not that he gives a shit.
Another really entertaining review of BE is from Hilariocity (Chris Stuckmann). Hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Efier0fVWH0
Incredible. The cult craves NY Times Best Seller status for BE so every cult member has to buy 20 copies. Someone should forward Bubbles’ comm to the Times. In fact, I’m going to do it. Give them a good laugh. Maybe they’ll print an article on it. What a pathetic, stupid stunt. How sad this is.
Think of any best selling author who would love to be on this list, sending emails out to his readers begging them to each buy 20 copies to achieve this status. Can you imagine ANY author doing this? I mean, honestly!
This list is out there to be an indicator of the actual popularity of a book, and yet the cult can’t resist trying to manipulate their book into a status it doesn’t deserve.
And they have no shame about this! They’re right out there telling all the sheeple to do this!
If I were the author, I would die of embarrassment if my friends or any organization did this.
But then, it appears that these people just don’t get embarrassed.
You know, there are many reasons I give daily thanks that I’m no longer a cult member, but the reasons that really stand out for me have less to do with social injustice than with personal embarrassment. For example, this email. I’m so glad I’m not a cult member getting this email, being ASSOCIATED with someone who would send an email like this.
OK, end of rant.
oh..and one more thing on BE…. Hay Davey-boy…ya got Costco in yer pocket? Cuz, ya know, Dad’s book was at Costco…and Leah’s book was at Costco…..
We gonna see yer latest wank-off in the mirror at Costco?
Today’s Amazon stats for the book:
: #3,398 in Books
#91 in Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Hard Science Fiction
#99 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > War & Military
#172 in Books > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Space Opera
It hasn’t even cracked to the Top 100 in Space Opera!
STATS PUSH as usual. I was part of it too in the years 2000, selling all those ASI books blablablabla…. So Scientology either are going to say “You have similar crimes of your own” which would convert to “We are stats pushing”.
If COB weren’t doing this for the money, they could have broken BE up into small, cheap volumes of a few chapters each, and sold them that way. It would have been much easier to get people to buy 20 copies of BE Vol. 1 at $1.99, or whatever. Or they could encourage members to buy 150 copies of Vol 1, which would cost about the same as 20 copies of the full-size paperback.
Isn’t it time for a reboot of the movie? This time as a musical! Starring Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers … together again! (Mimi takes over the part Travolta did).
Gotta find a song or two for Louie Farrakhan as well … maybe a Calypso number where he leads the Jive Aces into battle … bright yellow uniforms and guns in the shape of triangles.
On June 6, at 11:30 pm PDT, BE is ranked #3766 at Amazon Books…
Excellent post, Aurora! Thanks for the great news!
“On June 6, at 11:30 pm PDT, BE is ranked #3766 at Amazon Books…”
Isn’t this fraud? Can’t be proven perhaps but nonetheless.
Staff Member: Sir, I’ve got good news and bad news.
DM: Let’s have it.
Staff Member: The bad news is there were only 68 books bought by the OT Committee. The good news is 5 star reviews on Amazon are highest ever!!!
DM: I’ve also got good news and bad news. The good news is I get a cut of whatever’s sold without doing squat. The bad news is you’re going to the RPF.
I read the book in the 80s and thought it was pretty good but was terribly disappointed with the film – too much background noise of hissing and steam being let off everywhere and the actors mumbling so the story line was hard to follow and it was generally irritating to watch. The book of course has a message as far as I recall (against psychs?) but why DM is re-pushing it who knows? Even if it PRs people into becoming Scientologists it will be all to no avail as if and when they get into the Orgs, DM’s IAS and Idle Org Regges are busy driving people the other way out of the door, so I fail to see what it can achieve? Or is this new push just something to occupy OT Committees with, and of course, to raise a bit of book commission for someone?
If it were to get, let’s say, 20 new people into an Org, 19 would be driven away by the Donations Regges in short order and the last remaining one would soon be messed up in the empty course room by the supervisor messing him up with his/her “Flag-trained supervisor” heavy hussar skills, and who then routes the last remaining student to see the Ethics Officer who then also chops him to bits, probably because he hasn’t donated enough. You couldn’t make it up! The whole Scientology Network is now a cleverly camouflaged sabotage operation.
The movie was crap. I mentionned it when I saw it and I was sent to Ethics LOL 🙂
The movie was an unmitigated disaster….Stupid cult.
It was embarrassingly bad. My friend and I walked out afterwards, we’d gone to see it like two good, little scientologists, and didn’t say a word to one another. That silence spoke volumes.
Eman – the thought police were just starting up when I quit the Org so fortunately when discussing it with other Scientologists there was none of what you experienced, not that I went around spewing “entheta” about it though. Now I wonder if all this nonsense can actually be reversed or has DM and his fawning acolytes now implanted such so deeply that Scientologists will never snap out of it? Ironic when one assumes that Scientologists are the “free people” who are supposed to be those most rebellious and to be able to think for themselves, without being mentally and verbally bludgeoned into submission.
I enjoyed reading BE when it came out. But, I drank koolaid deeply. The rest of his fiction works after BE were dreadful. The 10 volumes of fiction was a complete urrrgh!!! even for a koolaid drinker!
They say BE was on the NY Times best seller list in the early 80’s but that was only because the Church and parishioners bought so many books. It’s pretty well documented that mainstream publishers thought BE was a lame book and would not pick it up. It was only the Church’s money that got it on the NY best seller list back then. (and they promote today as a NY Times best seller, .. another piece of BS)
Miscavige is trying to redo his success back then. It’s a big fail because bullshitting the public 2 X does not work.
GAT I didn’t save them, GAT II didn’t save them, the basics didn’t save them, their ideal morgue program hasn’t made a dent in their unfavorable ratings or their inflow. Nothing miscavige has pushed has done anything to halt their decline.
So now they are resurrecting Battlefield Earth as the way to disseminate? This is the great plan to counter all the negative (but true) bad PR?
Dang, some people are dense.
Hey, they took a shot, LDW! A really fucked up shot, but, a shot nonetheless…..
Looking at Amazon for Blech Entrails, special edition, and so far there are 1,438 5 star reviews. I was glad I was drinking coffee when I read this, “This is not only the best science fiction story I’ve ever read, but THE BEST STORY I’ve ever read! Period! I have read it many, many times through the years. This is a book for mankind. It is visionary, and portrays the gamut of human existence and pathos. A story of this caliber can help us to discover who we really are, and what we can become.” Urg.
Goodreads is even worse with 3,219 5 star ratings and with snippets like “I know right? 5 stars? How is that even possible? And yet here we are. This book is SOOO amazingly good. It is detailed, specific, imaginative, technical, possible and impossible all in one breath. The world Hubbard has created here is so detailed it’s hard to believe it doesn’t actually exist.” Gag, choke.
My favourite “review” so far is – “This is one of my all time favourite SF novels, and it has nothing to do with the author’s Scientology nonsense! Also, don’t be fooled by the horrid film adaptation.”
$camology just keeps the desperation flowing.
Gah! It should have read, “I was glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when…”
AND if you filter the results… to most recent and verified purchase only, it goes from 1879 reviews to 502. LOL
Believe Buster, A Device (For Survival)
Being a male of the species, I am a solution-oriented being of passion.
Last I spoke it was about survival as being able to force an opening in your mind. That’s what I said. Seems to me now questions would shoot up right there for a good portion of the audience. What, please, is the way to do that?
Well, force is a good word.
That opening is the idea that you are harboring beliefs without being fully aware, or not aware of the self-sacrifice involved in harboring such beliefs, any belief. It is questioning authority. And not just to test it for validity, but also to know for yourself that you have a reason for thinking the way you do.
What we do and the effort we dedicate, it is all for the knowing.
Creatures of habit, and thinking being as hard as it is, we all slack off far as or beyond whatever we deem acceptable, but, let’s not over-think this, please, I’ll lose the other half my audience and I’ll be left not worth my salt.
A Scientologist harbors a whole shit-load of beliefs, all, each and every one representing a huge portion of the big pie of consummate importance, the Self. Belief is giving yourself away. And it is certainly a one-way giving action, if you are adopting the authority of a rigidly closed type of system. “Closed” means not accepting other sources of information. For example, there is the belief that L. Ron Hubbard is the source of privileged knowledge. Just look at that. This is not open mindedness. Soon you will have a good list of other, categorically dangerous things to believe. More importantly, you will know the what-and-whys of danger itself.
Scientology is a belief-system.
Before jumping in, do examine the results thus far. The experiment now boasts some 60 years of evidence.
If you are just jumping OUT this is your lucky day. You have just stumbled across the key, the one that let’s you out rather gracefully, without excess anxiety and that’s because you know in advance that you are, finally, right. Right and doing the right thing.
The Church of Scientology is an Enforcer of a belief-system. Its only justification for itself, this self-proclaimed total authority is L. Ron Hubbard.
Now ask yourself what you believe, especially what you believe… absolutely.
And welcome your freedom, welcome yourself back. I know it has been awhile since you’ve been free to believe whatever you choose, no fear of repercussions. Free to refuse answer to any question. Free from authority, any and all higher than your own.
Choose your passion. Turns out the world is yours. Mine I mean. The world belongs to us bugs.
I’m so happy you’ve reached the other side Bug.
Tee! But I must say you meet the nicest people over here.
Yep! We’re a pretty bitchin’ group of posters. Welcome!
I’m always so impressed by the intelligence and compassion here. It also speaks so well of the community that read Mike Rinder’s spot on dissections of CoS and wee Davey, and RB and the humour is top notch!
Hi bug, I want to thank you for a fresh breeze blowing through my space.An excellent comment and very heart felt.xo Ann B
And again, a few clicks on the internet help put the matter into perspective. A good start is the Wikipedia article on the BE book (of course, the article about the movie is worth a few chuckles as well).
This is the ONLY entry on a book that I have ever seen that mentions an extensive campaign to manipulate the bestseller figures. Books were bought by the crate and returned to the stores by the same crate, only to be bought again, and again–often by “church” operatives. But then again, the motto of the Sea Org is “We Come Back.”
Equally well documented has been the campaign to manipulate the Amazon review section. Looking there, you’ll find a book that generated very little comment for the better part of three decades. Yet all of a sudden, you find hundreds of 5-star comments that have a few interesting things in common:
1. They’re commenting on the book anonymously (or in some cases, folks were identified who participated in the book project–for pay, of course–gushed their praise. Without mentioning their conflict of interest, of course).
2. These are NOT “verified purchases,” i.e. they did not actually buy the book on Amazon.
3. Either this is their only comment on anything ever. Or those who thought themselves sly would post another comment or two the same day (or within a day or two).
4. A ton of these comments pre-date the book’s release date. Short of exercising their whole-track vision they had NO idea what the book would be like. However, you wouldn’t be able to tell that by their comments…
Despite all the effort, the book is nowhere near the NYT bestseller list…
One metric for a book’s impact that will NOT lie is your library system. Librarians are tasked with giving the people what they want, as well as introduce them to works that matter. Despite the cult’s “book donation” campaigns, there is–yet again–NO evidence that this book is of any interest to anyone–librarian or reader–in my major metropolitan area.
Since libraries are integrated networks, a few key strokes will reveal the holdings of numerous libraries. The two dozen libraries near me–one of the most affluent library systems in the country– have a grand total of ONE copy. One copy total between them, that is. And even that one has not left the shelf in quite some time. And if LRH was right about at least this much, stats tell you what you need to know.
There you go again Todd with your facts. ?
We are numb
Heartache to heartache
They scam
Fake promises
More demands
The Church is a battlefield
Whoooo-oh-oh….
We are wrong
No one can tell us we’re strong
Searching our hearts for so long
Most of us knowing
The Church is a battlefield
I feel that it’s time to go
They’re forcing me to stay
Why do they lie so bad?
It would help me to know
Do I stand in their way
Or am I the best thing they’ve had?
Believe me
Believe me
I can’t tell you why
But I’m trapped by the cult
And I’m chained in my mind
We are numb
Heartache to heartache
They scam
False promises
More demands
The Church is a battlefield
We are wrong
No one can tell us we’re strong
Searching our hearts for so long
Most of us knowing
The Church is a battlefield
When I’ve lost all my faith
They will turn me away
I’m torn up inside
This all gets so old
So much more of the same
There’s no way I’ll comply
But if I get much madder
I could lose control
No time to surrender
To all of the lies I’ve been sold
We are numb
Heartache to heartache
They scam
Fake promises
More demands
The Church is a battlefield
Whoooo-oh-oh….
We are wrong
No one can tell us we’re strong
Searching our hearts for so long
Most of us knowing
The Church is a battlefield
Iwonder if they pay Champagne for all her work. it seems like that’s the only work she does. Oohh -I forgot scn doesn’t pay anything when they get it for free. Too bad!
Commissions. They keep all these stooges working.
This is for all Scientologists on earth after they decide to turn their back on David Miscavige:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZGwHtGBZJU
Pathetic!!! Appearance over substance.
How about a writer who can sell books for real.
How about a leader who doesn’t need to hear staged, “Hip Hips” and forced clapping.
How about a leader who looks cares for his parishioners instead of income.
How about a mental therapy that looks at actual results.
Scientology has embraced image and fake success.
Pathetic.
I feel like this would be a perfect time for a true scientologist like Tom Cruise to step up and grab a few hundred thousand copies.
I often wonder how often these money grabs make their way to the Celebs with the deep pockets. And if they do make it to them, why don’t they help out, supreme beings that they are and all.
Here is Roger Ebert’s review of the Movie.
| Roger Ebert
May 12, 2000 |
“Battlefield Earth” is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way. The visuals are grubby and drab. The characters are unkempt and have rotten teeth. Breathing tubes hang from their noses like ropes of snot. The soundtrack sounds like the boom mike is being slammed against the inside of a 55-gallon drum. The plot. . . .
And then he goes on for about five more paragraphs.
I think he gave it 1/2 star out of five.
I never went to see the movie because I was unable to read the book.
But now that some lost notes have been found in the bus, and it has been corrected from what the evil SP’s did to it, it will shoot up to the top of the NYT’s best seller list.
This might be a pretty good indicator of how many are still aiming for the salvation that resides in the next carrot. They will be responsible for 98% of the sales.
Really? Roger Ebert gave it 1/2 star? He MUST have been in a very magnanimous mood. Or, maybe a little tipsy…..
The way I remember it, they gave it enough Raspberry Awards to set the all-time record.
And, here’s the kicker, it was Mr. Miscavige himself, jumping the set and personally mucking things up, saying do this and do that in his typical dictatorial style, that made the movie particularly and miserably bad. Judging by how the story pans out, they might have wanted to make a new category, worst of the worst. And then, when the horrid reviews trashed the whole production, well, of course he, dear ol’ Dave, gets up to blame Travolta and everyone besides his almighty self. What a worm.
That’s the silver lining to the film: it revealed a lot about what kind of [being] pulls the strings inside the bubble. The amazing thing, truly amazing, is that he would intentionally bring it up all over again, thinking it would work out in some positive way. Add that to the list of stupid, really, genuinely stupid stupidity. Oh my god, I just felt stupid saying it! It took Miscavige to make stupidity contagious.
It was Raspberry City!
Roger Eberts Review gets two thumbs up
and 5 stars
Two BIG thumbs up!
Two enthusiastic thumbs way up!
It’s Hilarious to think about OTs giving that dreadful book to people they are trying to recruit! I have come to believe that Davy is trying to destroy Scientology, if his actions are to be believed as the real representation of his intentions!
In my experience when a novel receives the full Hollywood treatment no matter how finely crafted it is or how many accolades it receives there are always aging hipsters and literary intelligentsia who will loudly proclaim “the novel/short story/comic book/haiku was better”.
With Battlefield Earth that’s utter bullshit.
Granted the movie was so piss poor that even Roger Ebert rather nastily wrote “Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time” but somehow the novel is worse. Much worse. While the film will most certainly be remembered as one of the worse cinematic experiences known to man, it has its charms – especially when a huge bag of weed is involved – and, most importantly, is over in less than two hours.
Alas, the same can not be said for the source material. At the urging of a friend I attempted to read this massive screed not once, but twice to no avail. I just could not stomach the jangled and strangled diction, the hopelessly contrived plot or the flimsiest of character development, not to mention the sheer size would make Stephen King blush. This is the tome the Psilons want the wog world to read? To what end? So that the barely concealed undertone – psychs are bad, mmmkay – will make the masses put their nipples to wind and run to the nearest org? No wonder the CoS is circling the drain…
Hi Scott, Thank you for your post.You made me laugh and at the same time wish all in would get out.xo Ann B
By buying this book and enforcing it on others; the book which spawned according to many, the worst movie ever made on planet earth, is supposed to be a dissemination tool? C’mon, it took years for people to finally put this failure in the back of their minds and now you’re bringing it back out again? “look we had this huge failure, but we want to remind you of it again and force it back upon you”.
This is really insane. Proof positive that the level of unawareness of these people is “epic”. It’s obvious that these folks don’t have a clue as to the opinion that pretty much everyone who is not in the bubble has of them. And this little shenanigan will just take them another step down.
Miscavige picked the wrong book. He would have done better with “Dianetics”, because it could have made the nonfiction/advice and how-to best seller list with as little as 1200 copies per week, a number that he could easily buy out of the IAS slush fund.
From Writer’s Digest: “Now, the real question: How many books do you need to sell to make The New York Times Bestseller list? Frustratingly, there is no easy answer to this question. The volume of book sales rises and falls throughout the year. During Christmas, volume is very high because more folks are buying all kinds of books as gifts. During slow buying seasons, like August, those levels are much lower.
Publishers Weekly recently speculated about how many copies it takes to become an Amazon Top 5 bestseller. What they did was look back at a bestselling title The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Historia – a fiction title – for a week in February and a week in March 2013. Backing out the numbers of total sales and taking into consideration that that Amazon has 30% of the hardcover book sales market, they came up with 328 copies a day.
A top 5 Amazon ranking is great, but what if you’re just aiming for hitting the extended New York Times “Advice, How-To & Miscellaneous” list at the bottom position of the extended list (#20)? Sales of non-fiction titles can run much lower than fiction titles. I’ve seen books with weekly sales of less than 1,200 hit the Advice list.”
The column that i have quoted was published a litter little over two years ago, but it is recent enough to reflect the changes in how bulk purchases that are intended for promotional purposed (i..e. donate $X to SarahPAC and get an autographed copy of “Going Rogue” by Sarah Palin) are reflected on the best-seller lists.
From Writer’s Digest:
Here are some things to consider if you want to shoot for The New York Times or any other bestseller lists with your newly released book:
1) Concentrate your sales as best you can. Publishing houses will often have authors do one or more book signing events per day for a week or even for multiple weeks when a book first goes on sale. When you – or your publicist – are setting up an event, always make sure that the store is a “reporting” store. Ask them, do they report to The New York Times? If not, find another store that does.
2) Conduct a robust pre-order campaign. Simply encourage your fans to buy the book ahead of the on-sale date either at a brick and mortar store or online. Those books will be counted with the first week of sales.
3) Make sure that your biggest publicity hits come in the same week as your events. You’re trying to create a surge and strong publicity will add wind to your wings.
4) Figure out the best date to go on sale so that your competition will be at its lowest. The biggest drawback to this strategy is that usually when book store sales are slow, so is everything else. You might have trouble scheduling media or getting folks into stores for your events.
My comment: These factors makes it a lot harder to push an already-published book onto the best-seller list without an event of some nature. There was a surge in sales of Michael Jackson and Prince’s records in the weeks after their deaths, and most likely any biographies of them enjoyed improved sales. . Another thing to consider is that best-seller lists tend to be lagging indicators. The purchases aren’t recognized for about two weeks, and pre-orders are recognized in the first week’s sales, leading to the possibility of a one-week surge in sales that is not sustained.
COB is flushing more of his follower’s money down the toilet. He would do better to make the publishing arm of Scientology a “reporting” bookstore to kill two birds with one stone: ensuring that his followers buy the more expensive edition, and ensuring that CO$ gets “credit” for the sales. Me, I just wonder how easy it would be to forge an amazon.com invoice, or an invoice from Barnes and Noble, or to conspire with whoever is receiving the books to log them in, pretend that they were mailed, and hand the books back so that another person could get “credit” for buying the books. Unfortunately, the snitch culture has eroded trust to such an extent that even a simple scam like that could not be pulled off successfully.
Oh dear, Mike. You are so dense. Or just very determined in your dishonesty.
Today on Amazon rank of all books:
Ruthless: 20,715
Troublemaker: 3991
Battlefield Earth: 2222
Barnes & Noble rank all books:
Ruthless: 19,578
Troublemaker: 20114
BE: 1496
Wow – a troll!!!! Welcome.
If you read what I actually wrote you will see I was commenting on NY Times Bestsellers because this is what Bubble Champagne was on about. And I stated that recently Leah Remini and Ron Miscavige’s books both made it onto the NY Times Bestseller list. Which they did. Battlefield Earth — no such luck.
Totally factual statements.
Dense?
I guarantee you that if you come back here in a month, BE Will have dropped back into oblivion and Troublemaker will still be going strong.
I am surprised that a 6 month old book that doesn’t have any OT Farce urging members to buy it in bulk remains at 3991 on Amazon. Probably means that in the last 6 months Troublemaker has outsold ALL Hubbard books, fiction and non-fiction COMBINED.
Dense? Really?
Did LRH write any non-fiction? Maybe TWTH could be called that but seems like is plagiarised 10 commandments, and I’m sure they were around before Moses and the burning bush put them in stone, along with some common sense guidelines to life like clean your teeth. Despite his claims there seems to be no original science behind dianetics as well as limited truth behind his autobiographic details.
I was wondering if anybody knows how the COS printing business works. Like, given the millions of books that they will need to print before they can sell the millions they will claim soldl, are all these printed on the Gold publishing presses? And what do they do with all the unsold copies that are returned from the Barnes and Nobles of this world?
Sinclair Upps ======== David Miscavige
Mike your his biggest reader/fan
‘Dense’ is the same word NOT John Sugg posted on Marty’s blog. (Under the name Kilgore Trout)
Wow a Super Troll! What an honor that is!
Sinclair, you need to go see the MAA for an ineffective Rinder-ectomy. Pick up the routing form at reception and report compliance. TM = 24 hours. Let’s get this done. Now, now, now!
Mephisto, you must have meant lobotomy. 🙂
I was referring to his attempt to discredit Mike.
Got it. 🙂
Sinclair Upps: 2,222 and 1,496 are pretty far down the rankings from top 10. If you are a member of the Church of Scientology and want LRH books in the top 10 to 100 list of Amazon and Barnes and Nobles best selling books, does it sound real to you that possibly psychiatrists or big pharmaceutical companies are behind the decline in the church’s book sales instead of the church itself? It doesn’t take an auditing session for most people to answer that question. 🙂
Dishonesty? Oh, the irony is killing me. Buying up stacks of BE to manipulate sales stats is as deceptive as it gets. I would advise all Scientologists to leave marketing and PR to the professionals who know what they’re doing. This book buying gambit is just the latest in a long list of failed COS promotional capers. Yeesh. Talk about dense.
I looked this book up on Amazon and discovered that “suddenly” “tons of 4 star reviews” are flooding Amazon about the book. Isn’t that funny, that this avalanche of good reviews happens just right around the same time that the church is pushing for its members to promote and buy this book. What a co-incidence! 🙂
Here is the link:
https://www.amazon.com/Battlefield-Earth-Seller-SCI-FI-Adventure/dp/1592129579/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467858590&sr=8-1&keywords=battlefield+earth
There was a time when this sort of tactic would have been called a “stat push.” Totally off policy. I wonder how many of the remaining blind and loyal recognize this. The blind probably don’t. the loyal possibly do, at least a little bit, but grit their teeth and comply because they don’t have any other choice. One thing for sure, marketing it ain’t.
The next push will be to get Battlefield Earth into every library on the planet as another route onto the bridge, sure to boom scientology into unprecedented global contraction from the back porch of absurdity. Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherf*****s!
…which basically means that library book sales for the coming year will have plenty of unread, uncirculated copies of Battlefield Earth available for a buck or two. Just because a book (or an extremely expensive set of books) gets donated to a library doesn’t mean it’s going to get catalogued and put on the shelf.
Mephisto, keep in mind that any books sent to any library, UNSOLICITED, go straight the the $1 bin. All those Basics they sold for the “Library Project,”went to the same place or thrown out.
My Central Branch Library does this. So when the psychic dwarf crows about getting the Basics into libraries all over the country, he’s lying. I know that comes as a shock to everyone here, but, it’s true…
I know, I know. It’s like that old strategy of having people dig holes and then fill them up again, over and over. But it does give Dave something to show at his look-at-me-aren’t-I-wonderful events.
The CofS – the only perpetual motion machine in existence – with its perpetual production of bull shit (of a very different kind produced by bulls)
ebarrassing idiocy
This is just like everything the cult does – lies and more lies.
They Photoshop an extra couple of thousand people to watch David yank on his ribbon, inflating the poor numbers to hide a total failure of attendance for another mOrge opening. Now they are forcing the sheep to buy copies of a terrible book in attempt to make another failure look like a success. They make up OT stories of people finding their car keys after searching for 2 hours or someone postulating people to leave a store and free up a parking spot (not mentioning that they probably drove around the lot for 20 minutes trying to find a space.)
The church is built on smoke and mirrors.
However with the weight of BE, the book does make a great gift to friends and family who are in need of a door stop.
I remember when that stupid book came out. Never read it. Never saw the movie. Waste of time and money.
When it came out I read only a few chapters of it and hated it. Then when the movie came out I told my husband I’m not going to see it. I think he went and was disappointed in it also. Now they are forcing members to buy 20 copies each in order to get it on the NY Times list. This may well become the new Basics crunch. They forced people to buy many Basics packages and they just sat in people’s garages. Now the BE book will be the same: force, force, force, and the Sheeple will do it while resenting it on the inside and now have to clear out space for them in the garage. It is just more of the same.
Aren’t you glad you’re out, Cindy? I mean, it’s just total insanity now.
Yes I’m glad I’m out! Maybe “the way out is the way through” maxim means get out through the church altogether. That’s a cog you can have for free!
Perhaps the Church of Scientology should try and get Dianetics to the top of the NY Times best seller list. That at least resembles some kind of common sense. 🙂
“Ideally you would purchase 20 books”
How religious! Now the poor schlubs ar expected to fork over $25 a pop to the tune of $500 per clam for second rate dime store fiction… Yep, clearin’ that planet… Sigh.
Yup! “Let’s help the FSO make their target” says it all.
For Mike: Did you see the ‘copper rods’ post in the ESMB forum?
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?42163-Mark-Marty-Rathbun-on-Tony-Ortega-and-the-Underground-Bunker-v-Scientologists&p=1105262&viewfull=1#post1105262
No, I didnt see it. WHat is the point?
The poster found an article from a 1953 Journal of Scientology about ‘grounding’ a pc in order to alleviate psychotic tendencies.
Since you told an anecdote about Miscavige using this method, it was of interest to see where Hubbard talked about it.
But, yes, it is off-topic to this thread. Sorry.
Thanks for clarifying.
Let’s see…20,000 members times $500 per member…that’s $10,000,000.
How much is DM’s cut?
Depends on the week’s current legal and PI expenses.
And how pissed off he is….
And you know if he’s pissed off, someone’s going to get pissed on.
$9,750,000?
Exactly Leslie, that really is the bottom line.
I believe in command intention, just not Dave’s.
I believe in intentional command….
See daddy I can sell more F’n books than you
I heard through the Scientological Grape Vine that Scientologist’s are sold another batch of snakeoil just like the Basic’s back in 2007.
They have been told that SP’s added and deleted chapters in the book Battlefield Earth and that COB, David MissManagement Miscavige found the actual notes of the book stashed in an empty case of Rum found in the Bluebird Trailer that L Ron Hubbard was hiding in.
He had the book re-written with the correct data and before any Scientologist is allowed to do any more services – they all have to make it go right to get ‘Battlefield Earth’ on the New York Best Seller’s List.
Well, I will give Slappy an “A” for pulling off another Scam of the Century.
He has beaten L Ron Hubbard’s record.
Hilarious
Just another way to suck more $$$ from the scilons.
I actually enjoyed reading BE back in 82. Much better scifi out there than BE. I wonder why he didn’t do DO and HAVE followups?
Devious Operations and Hopping Asteroids to Venus via Earth
The inside story by a former Venusian train conductor of some reknown back in the day…
Hi freebeeing, Very good to meet you.I think your post is classic,Thank you.Always
I’m sure that the New York Times Best Seller List doesn’t work like it did when BE was first published. It’s no longer possible to skew the results by hitting a few key stores that could provide their weekly sales figures to NYT. Now nation-wide current sales are a click away.
Even a serious IAS-funded effort would have a hard time pushing BE hard enough to matter. They probably know that, so this is a doomed effort that is really a petty cash-grab.
You are so right!
scientology’s promo face to the world is just one giant boob job. What does it matter if the book is on the best seller list? It doesn’t mean it’s popular and the world is rushing to get it if the grubby little cabal just cattle prods itself into couch cushion scrambling for their last pennies.
Just go get one of the big fat whales to buy a billion of them, give ’em a 5′ X 6′ shellacked plaque to display on their ego wall and be done. *yaaawwwn.
Show those big store-bought boobies on the next stage, Davey-boy.
LOL!
The reason it matters is because “commander miscab” says it matters. And that’s all folks. On to the next cartoon.
Among the shocking insights this email from Ms. Champagne provides is proof (again) that Scientology management attempts to willfully scam the bestseller lists by encouraging Scientologists to purchase multiple copies of Hubbard’s books in public venues, thus creating the appearance of public demand for his works…that in fact does not exist.
We do not yet have proof of the church handing out stacks of $20 bills to make the purchases as occurred several decades ago when the Battlefield Earth / Mission Earth hype job was in full bloom…the first time around.
This time the hoax is on a smaller scale, which as you note, is one more data point that Scientology has shrunk…and continues…to shrink into near irrelevance. Even the scams are smaller.
Hip Hip Hooray!
Wow, that Prepharation H (Hubbard) is some amazing stuff. You don’t have to put it ON something to shrink it, just get it NEARBY and you get 47X shrinkage! The “Trash Can of Infinity” awaits. GNOOURF!
That brings up a good point…Mike, why do you think the Co$ is not buying the books themselves, as the Co$ did before?
Unless, this is not so much about making the best seller list as just a blatant cash grab.
Never mind……I think I just answered my own question
Thats amazing
Seems to be another foot bullet::With all the scientologist buying it is today number 1,987 in Books on Amazon.
An attempt to use the logic from John Q Capitalist:
A very rough estimate of the number of scientologists who tried to up vote it wrote is 700.
Amount of non-scientologist who bought it maybe 35 people.
Very few from outside the us as you can tell from the writing.
So you could speculate that the number of active Ronbots who jumps when OSA says jump has dropped to maybe 1000 or 1500 in the US. (Staff and public but not sea org since they cannot have internet)
Some recent reviews that were voted most useful:
I am a fan of sci-fi and fantasy; they are the genres I enjoy most when reading for entertainment. This novel, however, is the first novel that I stopped reading. L. Ron “Lord Xenu” Hubbard couldn’t come up with better character names than Jonnie Goodboy, Pattie, Chrissie, Limper (who had a bad leg, of course), and an alien named Zzt (I prefer Yyz thank you very much Neil Peart). This book was 1,000+ pages of one-dimensional simplistic drivel. Spare yourself and read Heinlein if you want to read a classic sci fi novel. I’d suggest The Red Planet and Starship Troopers (nothing like the movie). 1.0 out of 5 stars
or:So bad that it makes the movie look good. At least THAT was entertainingly bad. This is just horribly structured in every regard.
Typical OSA reviews:
It’s amazing I love it!
Absolutely brilliant!!!
I loved this book- best science fiction book ever written!!
I’m not a book reader, but reading this book I couldn’t let it down until I was done. And… I want to read it a second time!
Not to be Captain Obvious…but…
Scientology upper echelon FSO is making a goal of fiction book sales?
Is this religious somehow?
Yes, it’s all part of Ron’s fictional bridge.
And I’m still a Jedi Night!……ummmmm….I mean, I’m a Jedi Knight! May the Force be with me and the Farce to the cult…
Well, of course it’s religious, TOOT to OT! Look, the book is science fiction just like the cult is science fiction. The book is make believe just like the cult is make believe. It’s as simple as that….
Fiction is all they have for sale anywhere…regardless of whether it is sold at FLAG or on Amazon.
Whoa! Gladys is on that list as having bought 1 book. Now that’s being at cause. And I’ve purchased only one fewer than she has so I guess I’m part of this game, too.
Was Gladys McDonald listed as an example of ‘make it go right’ or an example of ‘low toneness’? Either way, she knows she has a sec check in her future.
As Davy Miscreant is still the head of ASI, he will get a cut of BE sales. This is taxable, spending money that he can use to buy stuff in the US without touching his off shore accounts. It gives him some space from any personal IRS investigation.
Now, how much of a ‘bonus’ will he give himself for running this scam book campaign?
Hi Mike, Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water,Command Intention tells me No, I have to buy 20 copies of BE before I do anything!It really is so pathetic now,the level of education within the cult today.How to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!Not going to work dm,never will that books anything but pulp.XXOO
Hi,My last sentence was mangled.It should read that book is nothing but pulp.Ann B.
Hey, remember last year when the Cult of Frank Herbert pushed all the Freman in their Sietches to go out and buy multiple copies of “Dune” for the 50th anniversary of the publication of the most highly regarded sci-fi novel of all time? You don’t? That’s because it didn’t happen.
But truth be told, I did buy a single Kindle copy of “Dune” to re-read. And, I have to admit that I have read a lot better books in the intervening 35 years since I had read it the first time. Great story, meh writing. All that is to say that if there is a book or movie from your youth that you have fond nostalgia for, be very wary of going back to revisit. It just might be best to let the memory rest. When I was a little kid, I absolutely loved the Disney movie “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes,,” starring Kurt Russell and Caesar Romero. You can be sure that I will NEVER watch that movie again. I’m pretty sure it sucks, and I’d rather not explode the innocence of my childhood.
Now, if there’s a book you read long ago and it absolutely sucked balls and spat pubes, then seriously, don’t buy 20, don’t buy 10, don’t buy 1 copy of it. Don’t read it. Don’t idolize the author. Don’t entertain instructions from a committee of clowns who idolize the author. Do crack open the NY Times to see what’s on the bestseller list, and pick some new novel to read. A bestselling book where the sales are not being pumped by command intention just might be pretty good.
Mike your last two blogs really drive home the fact that “desperation” is theme for Scientology in 2016. As the cherchs black PR stats keep going up their activities to improve their positive credibility keep getting more and more rediculous. And to me each new program looks more and more insane. I know I’ve changed a lot in the last few years however imho Scientology is now so ludicrous I don’t see how anyone would want to be part of it.
+1! Nice post! The Church of Ludicrousness…Where all the members jump and and shout: THIS IS LUDICROUS!
Church of the Luddites.
Maybe they should push the Mission Earth series instead, I thought it was much better than BE.
I’ve tried, but I just can’t. This is poorly written sci-fi with a ridiculously stupid plot. I thought so when I was in high school 33 years ago and nothing’s changed.
BE was boring. The real drama and battle is inside Scientology. An evil midget beating and torturing brainwashed men and woman. Dramatic escape stories. Crying mothers trying to find out where their children have been taken to. Financially ruined people. A banished wife hidden in a mountain fortress.
A Galactic Warlord implanting souls using volcanoes. A “religious” KGB like unit trying to keep the lid on a cesspool of lies and crimes. Now that’s a story.
Even a reality show would find the premise you described too outlandish, they put Honey Boo Boo to shame.
Mat, that would be a story that would make a great Oscar winning Movie too. I wonder who would be casted
as DM?
Pee Wee Herman.
How about Tattoo from Fantasy Island Herve Villechaize was the right stature., tho’ sadly now gone.
Unfortunately, Billy Bardy is dead…
Well put Mat….. Not only is it neither science nor fiction (who could make this up?) but the price is good for the world wide dissemination. Unfortunately the cost to those in this multi-media production is incredibly high.
And another possible ending:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z88U915uq8
FuMei Mathers … 40 books
Hey, baby, if you got the moolah to flush down the toilet … knock yourself out. I love it when Scientologists keep paying up. That’s part of their karmic amends project.
(Depend on any message from Kaye “Bubbles” Schlitz costing you money if you answer her. If bankruptcy were a disease, this dame would be contagious)
*by the way, for you young’uns, Schlitz was “the beer that made Milwaukee famous” (their slogan, I don’t think the city is actually famous)
Sixty eight books. I’m underwhelmed. I’m pretty sure Leah or Ron’s book sells that many copies per hour. Sixty eight won’t even get them in the radar.
When I was in, I bought in hook line and sinker to the “the supreme test of a thetan is his ability to make things go right.” It was hard to unsubscribe from that notion.
After I got out, One day I was fighting to get something done and realized it was a losing proposition. What amazing freedom it was to simply walk away. Sometimes no is the answer.
“the supreme test of a thetan is HER ability to make things go right.” And…you have, Valerie, by leaving and getting your old life back! Congrats to you!
The COB need’s you is very touching,
right where my wallet sits on my ass.
20 or 200 what does the clampire loyalist
get from Battlefield Earth. in exchange.
This Info is worth $10,000. that is what I Charge.
Very popular Books such as classic’s and long time best sellers
become movies that are cinematic hits.
Books that are flops that are made into movies become duds.
Battlefield Earth was mediocre book and a cinematic flop.
I went to a theater twice to see it ,both times the theater was empty
maybe 4 or 6 bodies in seating for 300.
Example of moneymaker is Harry Potter books made into movies
David Miscavige lives in a make believe world that does not work on this planet,
you can put money on that with Las Vegas Odds Makers.
Not only a cinematic flop…it was deemed the WORST movie of all time. The director even said he was embarrassed by it.
The worst movie ever made was
“Count Yorga Vampire” which would make
Battlefield Earth Second worst.
A very cheap comedy sequel could make a few bucks
but only if it was a PORN Battlefield Earth with
LRH as a morbidly obese Han Solo.
HimJose, Loved your post to OSD.BE really took the cake with bad writing throughout the tome and I could not watch the movie.JT was totally ridiculous.After I did not makeit half way thru BE in the 80s & later I looked at all the other books in the series.Had not a drop of interest in any of them.I would rather have to read Ron’s early early stories than read that series.Actually I do not need to retread the early SF stories,once was enough!XO
MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE! I just lightly thought of fatso as an obese Han Solo! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
I have to disagree with you there, Count Yorga, Vampire great fun when I first saw it in the theatres at age 13 and it’s still streets ahead of BE. I rewatched Yorga about six months ago and now it’s just silly fun where BE is truly painful to look at (and no, one viewing was enough for that dross).
Jose, if you’re the first to buy 100, you’ll get a commendation in bold Times New Roman font with gold lettering.
Wow! You just can’t beat ‘gold lettering.’
And they only made the highest, unprecedented target of 68 because a guy bought 40!. Otherwise, well, big flap.
You are right Mike, very religious activity. Amen.
Miscavige just wants to gloat about how his revised or new edition of the book “shot up on the NY Times Besteseller List” to his captive flock. And that’s when they all look around and realize how many copies they each bought to do that. Or not. As it’s going nowhere. I guess you can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of the sheep all of the time.
Good point.By constantly adding things like the wall of objectives for ot’s or subtracting things bc,ktl,loc he can make himself feel important.
This is incredibly pathetic, people don’t want to buy poor 30+ year old fiction, particularly when its as long winded as BE. Instead they are trying to coerce scions to buy a ton of copies which can sit in their garages next to the accumulated basics, accs, congresses, stacks of dianetics books, drug booklets, way to happiness books, etc etc. I don’t know about a bookathon but I needed a dumpathon to get rid of this lot.
Hey, it could be worse, Gimpy! The powers that be have ORDER all OT committee members to purchase 25 copies of that tome!
If I remember correctly (puts on smoking jacket, sits in comfy armchair in front of a big bookcase full of books, pipe nonchalantly hanging from mouth and hand under chin and looking intelligent) didn’t $camology get the sheepbots to buy vast quantities of Bursting Excrement when it first came out to pump up the “bestseller status”? Then they were told to send them back to $camology and the returned books were then resold to bookshops because I seem to recall that bookshops were getting copies of the drivel with price tags from other book dealers.
This time around they’ll (excuse me a moment, one of the cats is sitting outside my window crying her little eyes out and if I don’t let her in there will be four kilos of puddy tat hanging on the fly screen) be lucky if they sell 25,000 of this piece of crap. It doesn’t really matter how many copies they sell it will STILL be amazing!, incredible!, astounding! and how ever many other exclamation points that can be used to show how great!, terrific!, marvelous! $camology is and it’s bursting at the seams with growth.
Yes, the mark of a middle class clam: A suburban garage not full of a car or two, but full of multiple boxes upon boxes of the same books and lectures festooned with bowling trophies pronouncing their status. The old Dodge rusts outside.
They are reaching outside their lie filled bubble world trying to get the “real world” to cooperate and lie for them about being on the NY Times best seller list by buying 20 books each. They are just showing their colors to the world: lie and cheat is their modus operandi.
Ellie Bolger is a 40 year trust fund baby and Flag resident with plenty of money and she only bought 15 books…even the faithful old dogs are not rolling over for them anymore… .
Hi,
So I checked it out… On amazon you can buy a used copy for 5.00.
And on WIKIpedia…
“The Church of Scientology’s role
Battlefield Earth went to the top of the New York Times Best Seller list and also those of the Los Angeles Times, TIME, United Press International, Associated Press, B. Dalton and Waldenbooks. According to Hubbard’s literary agents, Author Services Inc., by June 1983 the book had sold 150,000 copies and earned $1.5 million.[18]
Not long afterwards, stories emerged of a reported Church of Scientology book-buying campaign mounted to ensure that the book would appear on the bestseller lists. According to newspaper reports, Church representatives promised the publishers that a particular number of copies would be bought by Church subsidiaries[19][20] (the author and journalist Russell Miller cites a figure of 50,000 hardback copies[21]).
Local Churches of Scientology and individual Scientologists were reportedly also urged to buy copies of the book. Various bookstore chains (including Waldenbooks) have cited examples of Scientologists repeatedly coming into stores and buying armfuls of the book at a time. Several bookstores reported that shipments of the book arrived with the store’s own price tags already affixed to them, even before they were unpacked from the shipping boxes, suggesting that copies were being recycled.[19][20] According to Miller, Scientologists throughout the United States were instructed to go out and buy at least two or three copies each.[21] Gerry Armstrong, who worked in the Church’s archives at the time, states that “One of the wealthy Scientologists, by the name of Ellie Bolger, apparently paid a huge amount of money to the organization, which they then disbursed to staff members to go down to B. Dalton or whatever and buy the book”.[22] The New York Times reported that “two Scientology organizations bought a total of 30,000 copies of Battlefield Earth at discount directly from the publisher, apparently to sell or to give to current or prospective Scientology members”. Booksellers told the newspaper that they had seen unusual purchasing patterns, including individuals buying as many as 800 copies of the book at a time. It was suggested that “church members could be trying to buy themselves a bestseller in order to obtain a large paperback or movie sale, both of which are often contingent on a book’s first becoming a bestseller in hard cover.”[23] Two months after the reports emerged, Author Services Inc. announced that it had sold the film rights for Battlefield Earth to a Los Angeles production company,[24] though it took another 16 years for the film to be made.
Former Scientologist Bent Corydon has described how pressure was put on the managers of Scientology “missions” — effectively franchises — to promote and purchase Battlefield Earth. At a conference held in San Francisco on October 17, 1982, Scientologist “mission holders” were told by Wendall Reynolds, the Church’s International Finance Dictator, to do their bit to make the book a success:….”
Pure lunacy! Dillusional at best. Reminds me of Amway with that fringe “friend” telling me that I can drive a black TransAm with T-Top and live in a big house if I just buy the platinum level distribution kit host a party, and get 20 of my closest friends to sign up.
Hmmm where in that list and total is the number of books Bubbles sold/bought?
Surely she did her twenty . . .
WTF!!!! I’ve thought it before and now I’ve thought it again: What absolute bullshit – I mean “provable” bullshit!
“You absolutely will want to have this copy – for sure.” !!!! WTF!!!
And for this to be given to the OT Ambassadors at the Maiden Voyage as part of their “To Do” list is astonishing. They might not say it, but I guarantee many (if there were enough there to equate to many) were thinking, “I can’t wait to get out of here and I’m never coming to another Maiden Voyage.”
Congratulations Dave. You have done more to aid in the destruction of scientology than any high priest or psych.
Thank you. DM
Keep it up, dwarf boy!
Do you realise that if the Dwarfenfuhrer buys a copy and stands on it he will be as tall as Tom. He will be so excited that people will ask him if it’s a torch in his pocket or something else.
Wow… 68 books!!!
Anyway… what is this book? I have not heard of it. Why is it important?
Battle Field Earth is a book that Hubbard penned. It’s long….way, way long. And boring. Also, it’s 30 years old. They’re trying to get their public to purchase multiple copies of the book so it shows up on the N.Y Times Best Seller list. Good luck with that…..
Seems david miscavige is trying to resurrect the “good name” of L.RonHubbard with his science fiction. Since LRonHubbard=scientology=batshit crazy, let’s try LRonHubbard=Battlefield Earth.
Ain’t gonna work dave. At one time you might have been able to do something positive with LRonHubbard’s legacy but you have BLOWN your chance. A chance that’s BLOWN for good.
Along with his YSCOHB.
Thanks Old Surfer Dude for the FYI!
P.S. Can I join The Church of Old Surfer Dude too?
Sounds like MEGA AWESOMENSS FUN!!!
Wait….what? Did I forget to tell you that you’re already a member? My bad! And, yes, this church is all about MEGA AWESOMENESS FUN…
Hooray!!!
Funny story to share.
I recent got a new car (old one died) and while we were signing the finance papers… out of the blue the 25 something young Wells Fargo banker starts talking about Scientology and how he can’t believe people actually fall for the ridiculous ideas (like science fiction) people trapped by Xenu in volcanoes and such. He said how can they believe this stuff after all Hubbard was a sic-fi writer. He said, Have you seen going clear or read some of the books??? He even mention DM and was amazed that folks could fall for his money bilking schemes. THIS is the public DM is trying to bring in… Pretty much everyone in the public thinks the whole thing is laughable and frightening. I don’t remember why he started talking about it. We did not bring it up. My husband has had a fair amount of auditing and lots of sec checks… we did keep straight faces… however.
Let me know when yer having some of those FUN services of yers.
Peace out!!
Has it been stated WHY BE is being pushed right now?
[edit] I just realized. Miss Muppet thinks that by having an El Con book on the NYTs list, that will somehow help insulate the CoS from the flurry of anti-scamology best sellers.
Battlefield Hurts.
Again, how do you come up with these awesome titles? Battlefield Hurts. Instant classic!
I also thought of Battlefield Mirth, but deemed it inappropriate; however after reviewing the posting it seems quite fitting!
This is why I remain a card-carrying member of The Church of Old Surfer Dude. Better drinks, more love and no money extraction for books that suck.
I will be paying homage to you this weekend your Holiness. A 3 day getaway full of food, drinks, love and laughter and not a registrar in sight. In the name of the Dude, the SP’s and the Holy RinderSnark. Amen. 😀
You honor me, NOLAGirl. The Church of Old Surfer Dude is, in fact a church of great drinks, fantastic food and an abundance of LOVE…with no money extraction! Just peace.
NOLAGirl, you are now a card carrying member of this church. We celebrate by doing whatever the fuck we want to do…..
I’ll drink to that!
I already did. I also toasted you!
❤❤❤❤