A reader sent this to me as an addition to the series on sociopathy/narcissism. What is the DARVO technique for narcissists “DARVO is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes a manipulative tactic often used by abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto their victims,” explains Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder of Bay Area CBT Center and CBTonline. Narcissists and those diagnosed with personality disorders are the ones who most often use DARVO in a psychologically abusive way. It impacts the physical, men … [Read more...]
More on High Conflict Personalities
This is a follow up to an earlier post on this subject. High conflict people (HCPs) tend to have four characteristics: 1) Preoccupation with blaming others; 2) all-or-nothing thinking and solutions; 3) unmanaged or intense emotions; and 4) extreme behavior and/or threats. This is not a diagnosis, but rather a description of conflict behavior. However, those with high conflict personality patterns often have personality disorders, which is a diagnosis. This means that they have an enduring pattern of dysfunctional interpersonal behavior. The personality d … [Read more...]
What is Triangulation?
I have been doing quite a lot of reading on topics related to sociopathy/narcissism and as I come across things I think might be helpful to others or just interesting, I put them up here. This is where Hubbard's Third Party Law comes from -- though of course he has it twisted into chiseled in stone "for ANY conflict to exist..." as if no two people could possible disagree unless someone whispered in their ear.... I found this interesting as sociopathy/narcissism adjacent. What Triangulation is and How it Impacts our Relationships By Kaylee Friedman “OMG, you will never guess what they j … [Read more...]
Flying Monkeys
A reader sent me this article and I am sharing it here as part of the overall educational series I have been doing on sociopathy/narcissism... What the Term 'Flying Monkeys' Means When We Talk About Narcissism By Adam England When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase 'flying monkeys.' Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell. They did the bidding for the Wicked Witch in much the same way as … [Read more...]
High Conflict Personalities
I was sent this article by a reader and found it interesting and relevant. I doubt there is anyone who reads this blog who has not encountered this sort of personality, I think cults tend to be breeding grounds for extreme behaviors. I had no idea that this was an identifiable and categorized type of person. There is a lot of information out in the real world that can help make sense of cult experiences! High conflict people (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over … [Read more...]
The Narcissistic Personality Part 6: When The Narcissist Fails
See earlier articles in this series: Part 1: The Narcissist Part 2: The Sneaky Techniques of the Cover Narcissist Part 3: The “Generous” Narcissist Part 4: The Altruistic Narcissist Part 5: Do Narcissists Cry? When the Narcissist Fails A cautionary examination of how narcissists react to failure. Key points: any public embarrassment of a narcissist causes further anger, rage, and incivility. Even in light of factual evidence to the contrary, a narcissist will continue to lie As a narcissist faces failure, arrest, indictment, or dismissal, they will … [Read more...]
Sociopathy Adjacent: Dependent Personality Syndrome
I recently became aware of a condition known as Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD). Apparently it is quite common, and includes an inability to make everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others. People with DPD are often attracted to cults (and remain in them) because of the control cults exercise over their members. It provides them what they need -- to be told what to think and do. This of course goes hand in hand with sociopathy, because cult leaders are almost uniformly sociopaths. When someone who has this disorder escapes from a cult (or … [Read more...]
Sociopathy Part 8: The Thirteen Rules for Dealing with Sociopaths
See earlier posts in this series: Sociopathy: What is a Sociopath? Sociopathy Part 2: The Traits of a Sociopath Sociopathy Part 3: The Creation of "Its" Sociopathy Part 4: The Importance of Authority and Obedience Sociopathy Part 5: The Covetous Sociopath Sociopathy Part 6: The Tools of the Trade Sociopathy Part 7: Gaslighting This is the final posting in this series about Dr.Stout's wonderful book. It is her summary of rules for dealing with a sociopath. I am formatting this slightly differently than the earlier posts as she uses italics to give the … [Read more...]
Sociopathy Part 7: Gaslighting
See earlier posts in this series: Sociopathy: What is a Sociopath? Sociopathy Part 2: The Traits of a Sociopath Sociopathy Part 3: The Creation of "Its" Sociopathy Part 4: The Importance of Authority and Obedience Sociopathy Part 5: The Covetous Sociopath Sociopathy Part 6: The Tools of the Trade Dr. Stout explains the phenomenon of gaslighting and how this is used by the sociopath. She begins with a description of where the term originates. In 1944, George Cukor directed a psychological thriller entitled Gaslight, in which a beautiful young woman, played by … [Read more...]
Sociopathy Part 6: The Tools of the Trade
See earlier posts in this series: Sociopathy: What is a Sociopath? Sociopathy Part 2: The Traits of a Sociopath Sociopathy Part 3: The Creation of "Its" Sociopathy Part 4: The Importance of Authority and Obedience Sociopathy Part 5: The Covetous Sociopath Charm — The first thing Dr. Stout addresses in the toolbox of the sociopath is a how charming they can be. This is something she talks about a lot. Sociopaths, when it suits their purpose, can be charismatic. If you read Russell Miller’s excellent biography, Barefaced Messiah, he describes Hubbard in just … [Read more...]