A little humor to start the weekend….
Be the first in your area to get this new “Truth In Advertising” tshirt, made possible by your continued support of the IAS.
Personally designed by COB RTC with the artistic flair we have come to worship, this will be something you can proudly wear in your org to show that you are part of the team (unless you are on the Purification or Running Programs in which case you must stick strictly and only to the approved designer outfits authorized by RTC to ensure you maintain 100% standard tech and your KSW is fully in).
Thanks to one of our eagle-eyed Special Correspondents who has a wicked sense of humor for sending this in.
LMFAO!!!!!!!
Should add:
“and broke :(”
which seems to be SOP these days ala Org.
Mike, PLEASE put up some pics of the perfectly Ideal uniforms for the Purif. as well as the running program.
For those never ins and those of us who have been forever out, we haven’t had the “good fortune” of having seen those bits of 100% standard KSW sartorial splendor.
Post on Running Pgm coming soon. Already did one earlier about the “new” standard tech GAG II Purif showing their spiffy uniforms and the Mark VIII Superdooper Vitamin Dispenser.
It seems a little plain to me……..there’s nothing GALACTIC on it. How could it EVER represent cob without a galactic bird, or bug or something? How about a galactic cockroach made in raised panels of glitter!!!!! That would be truly ideal, which is of course, the only way to fly.
I vote for a galactic flea or galactic dust mite.
🙂
Personally, I think the Sea Org recruiters should wear this tee shirt underneath their uniform and personify “a wolf in sheep’s clothing”. That’s what these Kid-Snatchers / false prophets (a religious personality) really are. They steal away the lives of young people and methodically keep them isolated, imprisoned, impoverished, exposed to toxic materials, sleep-deprived, malnourished and out of communication with their families and friends (anyone on the outside).
If anyone new here needs any more data, just read “Sea Org Recruiters – The Ultimate Merchants of Chaos” by Chris Shelton. Your questions will be answered.
Please excuse me that I failed to mention a few other things to look forward to being in the Sea Org. Things like beatings, slapping, choking, interrogation, no privacy, humiliation, the RPF, no medical or dental care, forced abortion/ abuse of women, teen/child labor/abuse. Then when the SO member wants to exit or escape they are subject to hunting and physical force will be used if necessary. They will also get the disconnection policy applied to them and be cut off from all other Scientologists, even their families if they practice.
Sound like a happy, functional group?
What is Flag’s motto again – “The Friendliest Place on Earth”? It’s manned by the Sea Org and is commonly known as “C.O.B.’s Org”.
The tee shirt is quite fitting.
You too can be status happy.
Of course! …and IF you’re unwilling to oblige, we have Slappy, to SLAP you happy! 🙂
Priceless! I am a lurker, but this is my favorite blog. Mike, your post actually make me laugh out loud, which is not an easy thing to do. With your cutting wit, how did you ever survive such close proximity to the Dwarf everyday? How did hold it all in?!
Excellent questions. DM does not come over as a fun-loving guy. Come on Mike – ‘fess up how you retained your sanity.. .
Mike eventually got up and left. That’s how he preserved his sanity.
Just a guess.
True dat Pepper.
After a while as life imitates art at times I figure it’s like Mike was in the role McMurphy with Dave as Nurse Ratchet 😉
Yes, cracked me up too!
Throw on the SciCross and their other goof ball logo and I’d def order and wear it proudly to my local org.
The Hitler youth were ‘Brown Shirts’.
The SS were ‘Black uniforms’.
Tough call…………both are applicable, and there is a market out here for it.
Perfect and so true. The black is an extra nice touch and I’m sure we’ll be seeing the IAS regges wearing those as they pester students in the hallway on their way to course, at break and leaving the org. They always have a nice gloom and doom story to brighten up your day…
Very funny…..
A test to ferret out the true SP & PTS movers
and shakers is to parade around an org
(especially flag) with that T-shirt on.
Some it will not affect, others will look
at it with curiosity.
But the ones that attack you are the ones
to take note of……they are the true Miscavige
henchmen.
A very low gradient search and discovery for the
sheeple who are secretly wondering what is going
on but afraid to say something.
Yay! Can I have 100 please? I am planning a T-Shirt-a-thon this weekend 🙂
That is the perfect slogan for them.
Or…
We won’t rest until we have made you are enemy.
OUR enemy. Hadn’t had my coffee. 🙂
Completely understandable, Tony. God know coffee is God’s way of letting us know that he love us…
Like.
Then there’s:
“Your pain is our gain.”
Like!
So, the public will be asked: “Credit or cash?” and, once bought, will get a commendation signed by the ED.
Now THAT is truth in advertising ! OMG , We R Expanding into our Infinite Future !!! PS : We take all forms of credit cards, cash, checks, or your first born. Which ever is more. PPS: You are Responsible for our condition, and it doesn’t look good.
Love it. I’ll take a dozen.
I’ll take 2, please.
The COB got one thing right, IT’S BLACK.
Vomit and tears blend in easier.
As far as happy? At Flag the staff were only happy
when they had all your money for nothing in exchange
and you were going home broken.
Believe me, Jose, the staff aren’t happy either. An SO member apologetically told me he took money off my credit card for Basics. I made him pay me back and told him in the real world that is called a felony. When I asked him why he did it his response was. “Neurosis. I was so desperate to handle my problem at that IMMEDIATE moment, that I had no regard for future consequences.” I watched day after day in those days SO members go without sleep, desperately trying to make quotas. You know it still goes on (outrageous quotas) except now it’s Ideal Org instead of Basics.
This is one extremely unhappy group.
You’re right, the SO staff at Flag are unhappy. I’ve seen it too. And Luis, the cashier at Flag took money off my account to handle his quota problem by breaking up my auditing package and then lied to me by saying that he’d checked, and “you have money on account.” Once I found out where he’d gotten the money and it was going to cost me thousands from the broken up auditing pkg, I demanded he put it back on account. He fought that tooth and nail and Hy Levy, bless his heart, stepped in for me and handled it. Hy left with his integrity in and his ethics high and in and he helped a lot of people with his interview expose for the Truth R/D. What a great being he was/is.
McCarran — Contrary to some of the more volatile emotions I have manifested and experienced on this blog, I find this little anecdote to be a very poignant moment. I guess this poor man’s confession to you, speaks to an underlying situation that has fought exposure for so long, that its true nature is only now making itself clear.
The unrelenting stress of staff can drive one crazy. It can make one do things, that under ‘normal” circumstances would be abhorrent to the person. I worked at St. Hill ( GO WW) for four years in the 70s. About 180 weeks that ran to upwards of 100 hours per. Stats became one of the five primary requirements of life (staff life): food – water – shelter – stats – human contact. If you went back and asked the young man that sat there, day in and day out, how he was doing, I would have manifested high purpose, high enthusiasm and interest — until somewhere in late 1976. Afterwards a malaise settled in that I could not shake, and only grew worse as the demand for stats and “products” outstripped any real connection to the HCO PLs and HCOBs and REAL Scientology Basics that we were supposedly trying to get in.
In other words I saw a gap growing, between just focusing on the auditing and training and letting it grow, and instead building this infrastructure of management. We became obsessed with statistics and forget that they only represented the good works staff were actually allowed to pursue.
I witnessed the slaughter of ten thousand trees, as evidenced by the vast amount of paper that crossed my desk in the form of endless weekly finance reports and staggering amounts of compliance reports. All neatly tabbed and stapled and stacked so high on my desk, and on the floor around me, that I personally could have caused a conflagration that would have wiped out GO WW in one glorious moment.
Stats — the crack cocaine of management. We all became junkies to one degree or another. And to the purpose I suppose. It certainly got its ‘claws’ in me early on – and to be honest, I didn’t mind. I wanted to help. It was that desire that pushed and pulled me through my final years on staff. I wanted to help. And in the end, I couldn’t. There were too many reports to write, too many crams to get through, too many conditions, I never knew I could get myself into, to write up and “handle.” I simply didn’t have time to produce any products, I was too busy getting the Stats up.
Odd
Jose, along with debiting accounts to pay for many copies of the Basics without informing the client. Um, I mean the “church” member. The good news? It’s quickly all falling apart! Hip, hip…
With extra tight, COB big bicep sleeves.