Woah, wait on a sec. Perhaps that was not the best slogan for Scientology to put a couple of million dollars behind in 2013. When all is said in done, people who do that end up getting booted out and disconnected from.
They needed an ad for 2014 that’s more in line with the imaginary expansion that Scientology is experiencing at the moment.
Imagine science… and religion… connecting
Imagine technology… and spirituality… combining
Now imagine… that everything you ever imagined… is possible
Scientology… there are higher states of existence
Actually, imagine getting your refund or imagine having your family actually speak to you. Dream on peeps.
The new 2014 ad is bizarre, showing lots of pictures of the new emeter and the new Flag Building. This is what is called a vanity ad. It is not really designed to get new people into Scientology, just to stroke Captain Miscavige’s massive ego and show his rich pals how cool he is. It does not focus on what a new person might find interesting about Scientology. It focuses on what Darth Miscavige “got done” last year – finally made available projects that he personally held up for years or decades.
What would really work for Scientology is an ad with a picture of an emaciated Diana Hubbard or Guillerme Leservre just sitting behind a desk and saying “Hello. We wanted you to know that David Miscavige has been removed from his leadership position in Scientology and the policy of disconnection has been cancelled. We regret the hardship this policy has caused and have resolved to show both our parishioners and the world around us a kinder and more giving face. Scientology is starting out fresh. Come in and talk to us about it.” Now that might get some traction.
The David Miscavige Love Bomb Ad is Going Out Everywhere!
Well Everywhere that Deserves it, Count Intentioned SPs Who are Refusing to Raise the Required 17 Million Won’t Get the Ad
Yes sir, a whole 16 areas. But should, heaven forbid, someone see the ad that does not live in a city with an “Ideal” building, they will NOT be referred to their sleazy and downstat local Church. Rather than set one precious foot into one of those cess-pools of anti-David Miscavige counter intention, they will be advised to take a course ONLINE.
Yes, you read that correctly. If the person is interested in Scientology and lives right down the street from the Battle Creek Church of Scientology, they will be directed to take a course on-line. This is how Captain Miscavige treats org staff who are slow to cough up the required dough to implement his “strokes of genius”
The really good news for Scientologists is that they will not be showing the “DARE TO THINK FOR YOURSELF” ad, which has resulted in so many existing Scientologist leaving and so many non-Scientologists staying far away. The new ad will boldly focus on the emeter, picking up the cans for sec checking and the neat sculptures in the new Flag Building.
IAS Dollars hard at work. Actually about 99.3% of the IAS Dollars are fast asleep. This is about .03% of the IAS Dollars hard at work. This percentage also accurately reflects how much Miscavige actually cares about disseminating the Scientology faith.
(Article By Special Correspondent)
Yup, when you first come in, they let you “Think for Yourself” all you like. But that quickly goes by the boards when the first reg insists you buy now, and how things are really done around here.
“We don’t run Scientology ads because we have no reason to believe they are true” – Judith Roales, former SP Times Publisher
Mike: Hope your vacation is fun. I don’t know him but your temporary replacement is doing a great job. -R
You mentioned Diana. You may be right. If anyone has a legal claim to the copyrights and trademarks descending from hubbard, it might be Diana. I don’t know if she would put it right, but she might, as the daughter of hubbard, be the only one who could hold it together at all.
To be fair to Miscavige (and credit where credit’s due) I think he is being honest with this slogan.
When I read the slogan, I pictured Miscavige stood over some cowed member of the Sea Org, his fists clenched, his eyes popping out, his veins straining to contain their blood pressure, and he is shouting…
“I dare you to think for yourself. Go on, I dare you!!!”
Just what I thought, Sid. “I DARE YOU to think for yourself!”
Perfect statement,” Dare To Think For Yourself”, come join our church, join staff and I dare you to think for yourself. That is absolutely spot on
🙂
Battlecreek, was that going out of business sign real? Or was it photoshopped on later? I mean Tiny McFists would have a fit if he saw “Scientology” in the same sentence with “going out of business.” I can’t imagine the staff members would have been out PR enough to put the word “Scientology” above the “going out of business” part of the sign.
Funny you should mention Battle Creek. I happened to go by there last fall.
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/2mo1mc4.jpg[/IMG]
http://i44.tinypic.com/2mo1mc4.jpg
if people around the country go to their site and report which org was referred to them, we can start to get an idea of how many “live” orgs there actually are.
presumably they aren’t going to use orgs that lead to just an address on mail box or has shuddered doors.
This ad campaign is wrong on so many levels. The imagery of the ad itself is confusing. For those of us in the loop, not so, but seeing as this is purportedly aimed at the still blissfully ignorant, would it simply not help many people (at least those who haven’t gone completely blank) cement an association of higher levels of existence with home baking? Unless it’s just some clever subliminal ploy…..?
And what message is this really sending out to all those dedicated and hard-working staff and public of those orgs which, despite all the intense and unreal pressures and demands of endless fundraising initiatives, have not yet been able to stump up the necessaries for their new, sanitized premises? For those who’ve not been so thoroughly introverted into their own failings and out-ethics as an explanation for this kind of treatment, I’d be feeling pretty pissed off about it. Hopefully it’ll be the last straw for some of those.
But the over-riding impression I get from this (aside from wanting to chuck, of course) is that it’s nothing more than an egotist’s obscene way of advertising his unashamed and arrogant snobbery. A damage-limitation vanity stunt indeed.
The sole purpose of this ad is so the Scn who give big bucks keeps giving!!!!
Can Scientologists BE any more gullible or get any stupider?……. uhm ….. probably. One thing about Davey …… he KNOWS his public.
IMAGINE…I dare you
It’s up on the Scientology website right now. I think the ad is pretty good. When the faithful see it there won’t won’t be a dry eye in house. If a non-church member see’s it, goggles “scientology” he’ll get “The Truth Rundown” or something worse.I don’t think it’ll do anything for dissemination. IAS stats will go up, though
It makes me so mad to think of them sitting on all this money while regular people are working at orgs for nothing and spending their savings to fill these coffers. It’s a sickening level of greed. Great post temporary moderator, thanks for your work.
OMG…showing pictures of the E-meter to the public??? If that is true, what a stupid idea. He must have forgot the 1963 Washington DC FDA raids. This has got to have repercussions…. can’t wait to see the ad.
Everyone will think it’s an easy bake oven
Well at least the media will be getting some good from the spent dollars for the campaigning.
I can’t imagine it will light a fire in the Buffalo Org….the only fires in the Queen City are arson.
The cob will pay any amount to do something that he thinks will save his image.
Good luck with that cob.
Tiny man stands with tiny fists clenched, shaking in anger.
An auditor from the lower 48 came up here to Alaska last year. Last year, after the Super Bowl, he told me that thousands of new people were flooding into Seattle’s org every week after that ad ran during the Super Bowl. Somebody from Seattle was feeding him this crap.He needs to attend the Toilet Bowl.
“Dare to think for yourself”
Well I think that’s great, but why wasn’t that sort of attitude extended to Debbie Cook or the many Sea Org veterans who gave a good portion of their adult lives to this church?
Debbie was a highly trained auditor, C/S and an effective leader yet that didn’t buy her any protection. She thought for herself and then sought to share her opinion with others who may have been interested. Daring to think for herself didn’t work out so well.
You can think for yourself in this church as long as your thoughts have been vetted and officially approved by a teenage MAA.
Truth in Advertising Alert:
“In David Miscavige’s Corporate Cult of Scientology, think for yourself – if you dare”.
Oh right the person’s who goes on line will be directed to their nearest ideal org.
Yeah right.
A trick like that only works if the person has a static IP address otherwise it directs the potential prospect or victim whatever to a location that is closest to their ISP.
Sheeesh
What a buncha morons.
Seems they emulate their fearless leader in total ignorance.
Oh, I’m sure it will direct them to the nearest online course or ideal org, as long as they are willing to enter an address Few people will.
Actually, the site asked me if I wanted to auto locate or to manually indicate my location.
The opening page is NOT a Div 6 page. It is addressed directly to existing Div 4 public. This is a GOOD thing as it ensures that no new people will come into the cult via its website. That is if they haven’t already done even a cursory search on the subject and have been scared away.
Imagine Science … and Religion …..connecting……. to extract every last nickle out of your online bank account to line the pockets of an ecclesiastical leader.
Imagine technology ……… and spirituality combining to make sure your family never wanted to see you again.
Now imagine David Miscaviage awarding you the Freedom Medal at the annual IAS event.
There are higher states of existence ……………………….have a bowel movement.
laughing my ass off,
so true
Just read Tony Os blog this morning. Looks like the Pope may get to experience one of his own “higher states of existence” today. At least he will when the judge tells him to show up on the 29th for his deposition!
Yo Dave,
Better stay close to the mens room, you wouldn’t want to miss out on a consciousness raising experience. Furthermore, you will want to avoid soiling those fine threads as the judge renders his decision.
BTW, were those real diamonds used for buttons in the jacket you wore for the IAS event this year? If so that seems like a real good use of parishioner funds and all. OK, I’ll let you get on with your day. Relax and enjoy good buddy!
Likely were real diamonds. He liked the moniker “Diamond Dave” in fact he even had a lighter that he was very proud of that had it inscribed. Of course that was before he moved on to “Chairman of the Board” and now “Pope” — though not much room left for further expansion. King of the World? Master of the Universe? God?
They were for sure real diamond studs. The FLB staff used to buy him gold and diamond accessories for his tuxedos as gifts. We used to get pounded week after week to donate for his solid gold trinkets. Barfable.
EXFSO,
That is frickin criminal! Asking staff who allready have donated their lives for the next trillion or billion (just one lifetime is more that enough) to donate to Him for His get-up is beyond-beyond.
I’ve got to go to the mens room and take a Diamond Dave.
LOL
too bad somebody with bucks couldn’t run an ad right after the scientology ad:
Scientology ad ——-> imagine…………….blah blah blah
then the subsequent ad ———-> “Scientology Fundraising Techniques- Use of “Shills”
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/scientology-fundraising-techniques-use-of-shills/
Off topic, but I believe this matter will be of interest to the people in this community. I also believe it is of some importance. I’m sure Barbara’s mother would greatly appreciate any information anyone can provide.
Where is Scientology keeping Barbara Cordova Oliver? Her 80 year-old mother wants to know.
http://tonyortega.org/2014/01/21/where-is-scientology-keeping-barbara-cordova-oliver/#more-12755
This ad might have worked 20 years ago as it’s actually not bad (in the correct context) but today with all the critical information available at a searcher’s fingertips – no way in hell it’ll get anyone new into any orgs.
“IAS Dollars hard at work. Actually about 99.3% of the IAS Dollars are fast asleep. This is about .03% of the IAS Dollars hard at work. This percentage also accurately reflects how much Miscavige actually cares about disseminating the Scientology faith.”
Thank you for the excellent article Special Correspondent. This is a vanity ad that makes the Sheeple and the Whales think that the IAS is doing its job to disseminate Scn far an wide in the ads. You’re right that it is not that, but is just a “stroke David Miscavage” ad that seeks to boast about what he is doing. And also it is to counter any bad publicity out there that the IAS takes money and does nothing with it other than invest it to earn interest. DM is trying to fool the whales that the money they give the IAS “does some good — why look at all these ads we put out there…” This is a direct response to the bad buzz DM gets in the blogs and in the media regarding the no-exchange IAS. It is also a way to show any court judge that the money actually went to promote Scn rather than went to buy chartered airplanes and expensive suits and shoes and armored vans for David Miscavage. This is only 0.03% of your IAS dollars at work. Where did the rest of the money go?
You nailed it Jane. This is exactly what is going on. Like every other “brilliant ad campaign” that they have ever done in the last 30 years, this will be a flash in the pan and two months from now, everyone in Scientology will be scratching their heads wondering where all the new people are, since they aren’t coming in to the orgs.But boy, everyone on lines was sure impressed with those commercials!
And I guarantee you that none of these Scientologists will ever stop and think to themselves “Hey wait a minute, isn’t a real ad campaign supposed to be more than one commercial? Don’t real PR and marketing firms plan these campaigns to last for like a year or even more with lots of different print, media and video ads, individualized for the different zones and countries they are playing in? Don’t they do actual surveys and market tests and up-to-the-second feedback and hone and revise and re-plan and reinforce and…and…and….” No, these are questions that will never be asked.
Just like you said, Jane, this whole ad run is just a knee-jerk response from Miscavige to throw some money at making the whales happy and keeping the clubbed seals amused so he can carry on with his real job, whatever the hell he thinks that really is.
+ 100
They needed an ad for 2014 that’s more in line with the imaginary expansion that Scientology is experiencing at the moment.
How about: “Imagine that it’s all in David Miscavige’s imagination.” 🙂
This add ran last week in my city, one of those larger cities mentioned. My thoughts were this is a violation of the policy of making sure adds don’t use MUs (MisUnderstood words) only the MU is an object! My sister saw this sexy looking gizmo meter and immediately frowned in wonderment at what she saw. And we all know what that frown phenomena means. Lots of blank minds on Superbowl Sunday coming up indeed!
AnAnonExie, spot on comment. Millions of people have no clue what an E-meter even is! This is not a Div 6 ad!
In a world of full-color, 3D images of the brain at work in real time on computer screens, I really doubt an e-meter will be any more amazing than a mood ring. Really, they will have to come up with something better.
I watched two people looking at the ad too. They were as glossy-eyed and rejecting of this ad as they are of everything from car insurance to phone and TV service. When I saw it for the first time my thought was “Oh–another Look What We Did–We’re So Coooool ad.” And I didn’t concern myself that the ad might possibly get someone into the door because it sure won’t. $cn could care less about what the man on the street is truly looking for in his life. They are so full of themselves.
Broken record time: LRH delineated the things required of an ad in HCO PL 26 September 1979 III COPYWRITING What is this service? How valuable is it? What does it do? How easy would it be for me to do it? How much does it cost? How do I get it? Where?
The latest ad is just like last year’s ad: It doesn’t say what Scientology is, or can do. This year’s ad carefully doesn’t promise anything. By using images of the Mark Ultra-Great E-meter, the ad is only designed to appeal to already-in, rabid, foaming at the mouth Scientologists, and is not, not, not designed to get new people in to Scientology.
It is intended for, and designed solely for, dead-agenting those Scientologists and ex-Scientologists who have complained for twenty years that the number of new people in Scientology has dwindled to insignificance. Its presence allows the “church” to claim “but we are advertising!
Remember how the 1986 edition of Dianetics had (gasp!) quotes from Opinion Leaders, like engineers, physicians, artists and actors…all endorsing Diantics?
What was wrong with that kind of ad?
Instead, we get an ad that restimulates whole track implants (see coffee grinder) and doesn’t tell us what it is or what it costs or where to find it, or how to get it! Even car ads tell you to “see your local Lexus dealer”.
But wait! There’s so few orgs, missions, and groups that that approach wouldn’t work in a Scientology ad!
And you can’t go into an org or mission and get a real live person to talk to you anymore!
Like the article about the Dublin mission describes here: http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/inside-the-bizarre-world-of-scientology-29929339.html. What would someone do if they wanted to “see” someone in the now-empty deserted abandoned Tucson Mission that was vacated last week: http://possiblyhelpfuladvice.com/?p=16160.
There’s no sign up in the front window telling you where to go or who to call to find out about Scientology! Their website still points at the now-empty storefront! (http://www.scientologytucson.com/)
A deserted mission is worse than an idle mission; it’s an advertisement for death.
Conclusion: Scientology is a ex-movement.
I think it’s a gross misunderstanding of what come-on marketing is. Show them this thing and make them wonder what this gorgeous hunk of awesomeness is so much that they MUST find out what it is. Too bad it’s already been out there in their kids’ play areas as the Easybake oven!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0UFZVHfel4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwTFXiTXUKk
Using scientology terms, these people are the real upstats! Including all those who are now free and speaking out. Bravo!
I love this video. It has more truth, honesty and SINCERITY in it than anything I ever saw put out by CoS. I also happen to think it’s much better shot – and without all the fancy effects someone seems to think makes them look cool (except in a rather icky way). Bravo to all who participated and kudos in particular to Tiziano, who I believe produced it.
Wow, this video is extremely well done. Congrats to whoever put it together!
Greta
The two words which come to mind are “incompetence” and “satire”. Their incompetence instantly brings on the satire of those who know what’s really going on. Unfortunately, I think the death throes are going to be long and agonizing for a lot of “innies”.
This is true, this is what reality looks like in present time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-O1BQfjs-4
Fabulous video! This is Hollywood today. Well worth watching.. don’t skip by it.. 7 minutes of reality that is entertaining!
Sorry I don’t mean to be rude but being a european I am not used to a certain kind of look, so I have a question about that presenter: Is this a woman or a man transvestite?