For those of you who don’t know me, my name is David Braverman and I live in East Falls, which is a suburb of Philadelphia, with 2 cats and an amazing Steinway baby grand built in 1914. I have 3 kids, although their mother Andrea and I are divorced. I own a wholesale bakery which delivers fresh European-style bread every day throughout Philadelphia, and frozen bread all over the country. It’s really quite a big business, even though I didn’t plan it that way.
Oh, and I’m an SP, and I didn’t plan that either. In fact, I never would have believed it when all this started, which was in New York City in the early spring of 1971.
I was music major at NYU at the time, my junior year, and I was walking down 5th Ave towards Washington square. A cute lady in a miniskirt (her name was Molly Harlow) handed me a card which said “Scientology Works”. I had no idea what Scientology was, regardless of whether or not it worked, even though I had been handed the same card hundreds of times before. But this time I asked the lady in the miniskirt “what is this?’’ and she said, “well, you want to see a movie?” and I said “when does it start?” and she said “right now” and grabbed my arm and took me into the (long-since defunct) 5th Ave mission.
I thought the movie was awful. I remember some actor in front of an observatory-size telescope (Stephen Boyd?), and I wanted to leave, but Molly intercepted me and sat me down and we talked. My ruin was that I couldn’t play piano as well as I wanted. Molly said Scientology might be able to help. So I bought the comm course.
I loved my course supervisor whose name was Joe Pinnelli, who only had one good eye. The first thing he gave me to read was the Student’s Guide to Acceptable Behavior, and then it was pretty much right on to TR’s. In those days you did TR’s the hard way right from the start (the way they should be done, if you want my opinion).
I did TR-0 for 2 ½ hours a night, night after night, for WEEKS. I actually can’t explain what motivated me to keep going, considering the agonizing physical and emotional responses I experienced. I remember twitching, spasms, extreme butt-pain, itchiness, burning, convulsions, light sensitivity, grief, loneliness, foreboding. Then one evening after about an hour something happened and I was looking down at the top of my head and the other students doing TR’s from what seemed like 3 or 4 feet up, and I felt nothing but calmness, and the feeling that I could stay there forever. I raised my hand and Joe came over and I said “I think I just had a Major Stable Win” and I described It to him. He opened a small pink booklet with “Scientology Abridged Dictionary” printed on the cover and told me to read the definition of Exteriorization, and my jaw dropped and I said “that’s what happened” and at that moment I was hooked.
The mission was owned by a good guy named Howard Rower who was declared about a year after I started while I was on the HQS course. I of course had no idea how a guy like that, who had helped me a lot, could be declared. I wasn’t even sure what being declared was, except he was gone. But of course back then in my naïve state I didn’t know how things were done in the Church of Scientology. Also there was an auditor on staff whose name was Julio Delatorre who was clear, and he was funny and personable and really seemed to have it together, so we all wanted to go clear to be like Julio.
At the end of the school semester I went to work as the musical director at camp Ramah, a Jewish summer camp in the Poconos. Before I left I asked Joe Pinnelli to recommend a book to read over the summer, and he recommended “Dianetics 55!” which I bought and took with me to camp. Some afternoons I would walk into the woods outside of camp and read a chapter, and then I would do TR-0 with a tree, just to keep in practice. As you may have guessed, there were no Jewish Scientologists to twin with in camp.
When I got back to New York in the fall I started the HQS course. Then later on while I was on course Joe was removed as course supe. I had no idea why since he seemed like a great supervisor to me. Then someone on staff suggested I write to Ron about it. I thought it was a bit of a reach to think that Ron himself would look into the matter, but the policy I was shown said I could write to him about anything. So I wrote Ron a letter about Joe, and put it in the little box they kept in the org for letters to Ron, no postage required. About 6 weeks later Molly, who was my new course supe, came to me with a twinkle in her eye and handed me an envelope with “L Ron Hubbard” typed on it. Oh my god, a response from Ron! I mean, wasn’t he really busy?? The note inside looked like it was really signed by Ron, and he said he was concerned about my supervisor Joe getting fired, and that he had asked his Director of Franchises WW to look into it, and best of luck on my future studies! Well, Joe never came back to the mission, so I guess the Director of Franchises WW wasn’t able to get the job done, but I think I still have the letter.
On the HQS course I co-audited with a woman who was a modern dancer named Tina and we did the self-analysis lists. I remember clearly the very first auditing question of my very first session was “recall a time you were happy”, and I remembered when I was little my parents took us to a swim club we belonged to every day in the summer and I swam and swam and learned to dive and we ate pizza from the snack bar for lunch, and I cognited that I used to be happy and line-charged (although I didn’t know the term) for about 5 minutes with tears coming out of my eyes. After I was done line-charging Tina kept going on with the list because it was her first time as an auditor (first question really) and I guess she figured I couldn’t have had the EP yet, but it didn’t matter. After about a week I mysteriously found myself feeling really good for the first time since high school. Another reason I was feeling good was that sometimes Tina (who was really cute) would sleep over, you know, after course, even though I’m pretty sure it was against the Student’s Guide to Acceptable Behavior.
One day later on that year, at the end of course, Molly told me she was joining the Sea Org and leaving right away. She gave me her bike as a gift, which I rode to school every day that spring. Later on I saw her name “Molly Harlow” at the bottom of the Board Technical Bulletins, and later it changed to “Molly Gilliam”. I wonder where she is now.
Then a field auditor named Roger Sorkin who toured from mission to mission came to 5th Ave and he was electrifying PCs with his auditing. It was the spring of my last semester in college but I wanted to stay in NY during the summer so that Roger could audit me too. I raised money by going to the financial aid office at NYU and I convinced them to give me a spending-money stipend, which I then used for a few intensives with Roger. He did my life repair which consisted of a “green form 40” as I recall. I remember the questions were so simple, and, if I just looked, the answers were so obvious. Yet each step seemed to uncover something deep in my mind even though it was right there on the surface. I can’t describe the feeling exactly, but I began to feel unstuck, like everything became less solid. Then after about 2 weeks the D of P (I forget who she was) said I could attest to “keyed-out OT”, which is something they had back then.
I have never attested to anything since then with as much certainty, not even close. The physical universe all around me seemed to be transparent and shimmering and alive and I could totally decide to move into it or out of it or even permeate it. I mean, I actually knew what was going on in the next room…walls had no mass at all to me, in fact nothing did, not even my body. The “keyed out OT” lasted for months, then it sort of faded away, but after that I always believed I knew what it felt like to be OT.
The next fall I took graduate courses in music at Temple University in Philadelphia, and I started a college-age choir in Philadelphia which specialized in Israeli folk music and music by Jewish composers, which I conducted. Then late that spring I heard that someone named Yvonne Gillham-Jentzsch was opening a Celebrity Center in New York and Roger was auditing there. So I got a bank loan and went to get auditing from Roger over the summer. I think I was the first ever PC at Celebrity Center NY (although I was curious why they took me, since I wasn’t really a celebrity). And I LOVED Yvonne! But after a week or so Roger told me that Ron had contacted him telepathically to come to the ship immediately. I totally believed that Ron, being Ron, could contact him telepathically. But I wondered why Roger couldn’t contact Ron back, even if he had to resort to conventional means such as writing or using the “telex”, and tell him that he was in the middle of auditing a PC. I thought Ron would want him to finish before he left for the ship. But I didn’t say anything and Roger left and I never saw him again. I don’t know if Roger ever made it there, but soon after I heard that he had been declared, something about squirrelling.
A woman named Helen Hochman took over my auditing after Roger left. I got mostly HSDC. Then a year or two later I heard that Helen had been killed…run over by a bus. I was shocked of course, and very sad, since Helen had become a good friend when she audited me. Also, silly and naïve as it may sound, I didn’t think that kind of accident was supposed to happen to a Scientologist.
Over the next few years the choir became very successful and well-known around the city. We sang in large synagogues and concert venues and I became kind of a young musical celebrity, at least in Jewish circles. We even gave a big city-wide choral-orchestral concert in front of Yitzhak Rabin, prime minister of Israel, with a large orchestra made up mostly of talented players we hired from the Curtis School of Music here in Philadelphia….I still have my baton! Philly had no org back then so all this time I was taking courses in the mission of Ardmore (a Phila suburb) which was near where I lived. I was working each summer at Camp Ramah as the music director, and during the summer of 1977 I hooked up with a young woman named Deborah Siegel who taught Israeli dancing. Deborah went to the University of Penna, also in Philadelphia, and that year after camp we moved in together in an apartment in Ardmore near the org. Deborah had become a Scientologist (on her own) after she met me.
One day in 1978 I was on course and at lunchtime I asked my friend Tony if he wanted to get lunch with me. He was giving out free personality test “tickets” or some such thing in front of the org and he said he had to finish first, so he handed me some tickets to give out to help him finish quicker. I really didn’t want to….I always kept my involvement in Scientology to myself, because I knew it wasn’t safe. But I took a few tickets and started to hand them out. As luck would have it I handed tickets to two girls who walked by who I didn’t recognize at first glance but were campers at Ramah (in fact one had been in a camp choir that I led) and they stopped and looked at me bug-eyed and said “David???” I realized I had fucked up big time and I sputtered something like “oh, it’s no big deal…I just took a course cause my friend here is into it….” except it was a big deal for the two girls and they ran home to tell their parents, one of whom was a big Jewish lawyer in Philadelphia.
At that time there was an “anti-cult” mania in the city, and the incident with the girls led to an “investigation” and a meeting of a bunch of rabbis and Jewish community leaders, who decided I was dangerous. They attacked me publicly as a cult member and a religious convert, which stigmatized me and the choir. I defended myself and Scientology publicly with an open letter to the Jewish community stating that Scientology for me was a kind of self-help method, that I was NOT a religious convert. I pointed out that I had been a Scientologist throughout my entire career as a Jewish musician and teacher, and that all during that time I had contributed to Jewish life and culture in Philadelphia far beyond the average Jewish person my age. It was to no avail, and by the end of that year I moved on from the choir and my career in music as well.
Deborah had been in touch with a Scientologist named Joe Scogna (who was OT-3!) who had come up with a TR’s based “how to handle the customer’s origination” system for selling newspaper subscriptions which would guarantee that we would sell the subscriptions and get commissions (which we would split with him), and we would work our way across the country (me and Deborah, not Joe) earning money selling subscriptions, and we would wind up in LA with lots of money to go clear (and be like Julio). So we did the training and Deborah and I worked the entire summer in New York and Detroit. It was my job to go door to door, and Deborah’s job to sit in the office and, well, do the books or something. She always got angry when I asked. It was a miserable time for me….I had gone from being a big conductor to a door to door salesman. But after a few months we didn’t earn a penny and told Joe we were out, and we went home. Also, at the end of that summer, Deborah and I got married.
At that point, having left my music career behind (temporarily, I thought), as well as my newspaper career, I got the idea of the food business since I was always a good cook even when I was little, and my father was in the food business so I had grown up around it. So my parents co-signed on a $3000 bank loan and I bought an old school bus to start a deli-vending business. We fitted it out with food equipment and called it “LeBus” and opened on the University of Penna campus in 1978. We hired lots of Philly org staff (there was an org now) to work for us on their days off, just to help them out. It was really hard work and after a few months Deborah decided that she had had enough of the vending business, and enough of me as well, and she split for New York to join the Sea Org. She eventually landed at the Landlord’s office at Gold, and, according to Claire Headley who answered my email, she is still there today (holy shit, almost 40 years!). A young woman named Ruth Drye, who had recently come to Philadelphia from Kentucky to play baroque flute with her sister had been working part time at the LeBus take-out window, and she became my full-time business partner the day Deborah left. She also became a dedicated Scientologist.
For the next 10 years we worked like crazy, and the business grew into multiple restaurants and a wholesale bakery. I spent lots of time travelling to bakeries all around the US and France and Germany and learned to bake European sourdough and French style breads by watching and asking lots of questions.
Eventually LeBus was delivering artisan breads and pastries to hotels and restaurants all around Philadelphia. During this time I was on course in Philly and getting auditing. I went to Flag often and became a Patron several times over, donated to all the book drives, CCHR, etc, etc. Also, sometime around this period I attested to clear. I decided I had actually gone clear when Helen had audited me on HSDC back at CCNY. I didn’t develop a sense of humor like Julio, but I felt pretty good.
By the way, I never thought Flag was the Friendliest Place in the World. I hated the constant pounding for $$$, the interminable routing forms, even when you were trying to leave. I considered the pool (as seen in the brochures) off-limits because it exposed you to IAS reg’s, and every other reg, not to mention Sea-Org recruiters. I once spent an hour in session handling the ARC break following a disgraceful and degrading pool-side encounter with about 4 or 5 recruiters who surrounded me. They told me that my current life, once the “veneer” was removed, was no better than a smelly pile of dogshit (yes, those words exactly) because I wasn’t on-purpose in the Sea Org. This did not get me to sign up.
Also, I never thought the auditing at Flag was any better than at a local Org.
One day I was in the lobby of the grades HGC which used to be on the lower level at the Fort Harrison with the entrance by the pool. I was talking to someone when I heard a sort of commotion at the board-in-charge desk, about 10 feet away from me. I turned around and saw a rather tall, slim woman with very long, very red hair standing there attracting quite a bit of attention. She was angry, grumbling, complaining in a whiney, petulant sort of way about her auditor making her wait. The person I was talking to said to me, in my ear, “that’s Diana”. I reflexively turned away and kind of looked down at my feet, like I shouldn’t be witnessing this. It wasn’t possible. Ron’s daughter? Shouldn’t she be glowing?? I’m not kidding….I really thought that. It may not seem like much, but that image stayed with me for a long time. It was very troubling.
But getting back to Philly, the lead course supe at Philly org at the time was a guy named Rich Fyke. Rich had gotten married and had a newborn. To support his family Rich worked for us full-time 5 days a week and supervised nights and weekends. Then one day there was a Sea Org mission in the Org and Rich was ordered to quit his job at LeBus to supervise days at the org as well. He refused. Then I was ordered, as a Scientologist, not to allow him to work at LeBus. I don’t think they had the authority to do that, but I didn’t know that then. I refused also. As a result they Comm-Ev’d me and Rich.
It was horrible, every night late into the night after course, for several weeks. I remember at the beginning they passed around a few Knowledge Reports that had been written about me that I didn’t know existed. They were some comments I had made about the org or other Scientologists that org staff had overheard, usually on their day working at LeBus. When I read them I did remember making the comments, but taken out of context on the KR’s they sounded more negative than they were intended. At that stage in my life as a Scientologist I had heard of KRs, but I guess I supposed nobody actually wrote them. I don’t know, it just didn’t seem right. It made me angry. Nevertheless it was very eye-opening, and definitely taught me to watch what I said around other Scientologists. To this day, I have never written a KR like that on anyone.
After the Comm-Ev a week or two went by waiting for the findings, which never came out. Instead, the ED of the org John Bair told us “listen, don’t worry about it, the Comm-Ev was a mistake; Rich can work at LeBus after all, no problem”. It was beginning to dawn on me that maybe Scientology wasn’t the sanest group around after all.
In the summer of 1987 I went to Flag for some review auditing. Then somehow the Director of Training talked me into staying and doing OT-3. She said everything, solo 1 and 2, set-ups and eligibility, and OT 1, 2 and 3 would take about 6 weeks. Incredibly, I believed her. About 5 weeks later, I had just finished the solo courses.
But the worst was Eligibility. On the one hand, I liked my auditor, whose name I forget, who told me that her daughter, who was about 5 years old, had been Golda Meir in her past life. But I hated the auditing. I really didn’t think I had committed all these harmful acts I needed to cleanse before I was pure enough to get on the OT levels, but I would always try to come up with something to get it over with.
Back then the False Purpose Rundown was the new thing, and each transgression I revealed on eligibility had to be run FPRD. I would close my eyes and stare at blackness for what seemed like hours trying to find an evil purpose till I just made one up, or something. It went on for 2 or 3 torturous weeks, and we were only about half way done. Everything took so long that eventually I only had about 2 hours left on my last intensive and no money left to buy more and I told my auditor we were done. I said I’d have to go home and come back to Flag when I could afford it. She said maybe we could finish the list in the remaining 2 hours, which was crazy since we were only about half through. But she said let’s try!
And we did, and she read off all the remaining questions one after the other without stopping once, like I was FNing, which I assure you I wasn’t. It only took about 15 minutes. This was totally nuts since the first half of the list had taken weeks. Something seemed fishy, but I was happy enough to be done with it. I’m thinking my auditor knew how useless eligibility was and she just ignored the meter and phoneyed up the worksheet. Hey, I don’t think there were many video cameras in the auditing rooms back then. Good for her! For the record, I have never had an eligibility cycle that didn’t leave me feeling worse when I finished than when I started.
But now I was ready for OT-1 and 2 and then the Wall of Fire!
I remember the moment when I was handed the OT-3 materials. Needless to say my anticipation was at a peak. But when I read through them my first reaction was that, like pretty much everything else Ron wrote, it was really confusing. I thought to myself that, considering that this was the Wall of Fire, at least Ron could have taken the time to explain it better, you know, sort of flesh it out, maybe include some background material to make it easier to follow. So I read it over and over, and finally I sort of thought I understood what had happened. And, well, I believed it.
But the solo auditing on OT-3 made me feel sort of panicky and nervous. I audited for about 2 or 3 weeks and then the CS said I could attest. Right away after I attested I began getting anxiety attacks and depression which was really bad and the R-factor I was given by the D of P was that I just needed to keep going through OT-4 and on to NOTS to get it handled.
Of course I had been at Flag all summer and I had to get back to Philadelphia, and so I went home, in really bad shape. I couldn’t raise the money and drop everything and go to Flag anytime soon, and besides I thought OT-3 was supposed to change my life and make me feel great and this is not what I had signed up for. So I managed to push through the mental problems and eventually I felt a little better, and I kept working hard at LeBus and in 1990 got married again to Andrea (a non-Scientologist) who I met because she frequented one of our restaurants, and in the years that followed I worked harder than I had ever worked in my life building the business, and Andrea gave birth to our 3 children: Benjamin, Joseph, and Jamie.
In 1995 I decided to gift sweat-equity shares of the company to three people; my brother Joel who worked for the bakery, a general manager named Adam Ritter, and Ruth. Neither Adam or Joel were Scientologists. We had had various Wise consultants in over the years and we were trying to implement admin tech, and later on Adam became quarrelsome because he disagreed with the policies and how some things were being done. Eventually he became so disruptive that I decided to fire him and buy back his shares as per the shareholder’s agreement. Then Adam filed a discrimination lawsuit which claimed he was fired because he wasn’t a Scientologist. We settled the suit in arbitration, but soon after that Adam approached a writer at Philadelphia magazine to do an article about LeBus and Scientology. We knew this definitely was not a good thing, but there was nothing we could do to stop it.
Ruth and I consulted with the OSA rep here in Philly, and we agreed to be interviewed for the article. The writer also spoke to Joel and other LeBus employees. The subject was a perfect fit as a juicy human-interest story: a well-known area business, a dispute between partners, a religious cult, money, discrimination lawsuits, you name it! Well, OK, there was no sex.
While this was going on the OSA rep informed me that I had been “ordered” down to Flag for ethics handlings to find out why I had “pulled in this entheta”. I told him that I had “pulled it in” by having a successful business which people were interested in reading stories about, but he kept telling me that I better get down to Clearwater, the MAA was waiting for me. So I went. Unfortunately, when I got there and showed up at the MAA office, no one seemed to be waiting for me, or even to know anything about it, as much as I tried to explain to them that they were the ones who had ordered me down there. So I sat around for 4 or 5 days, and went home. I did get in some good runs in the sun on Clearwater beach, however.
The article, which was front-page in the magazine, hit the newsstands in September 2000. As you may have expected, it really seemed to have been written long before the writer even started his investigation. He painted a sordid picture of a sinister atmosphere within LeBus, with sums of money secretly flowing to the cult, and creepy, low-level indoctrination of employees, everything a typical Philadelphia Magazine reader would want to read while sitting on the john. Really, LeBus was not that way at all. He even relayed a snide comment by an anonymous employee who remarked that my hyper-active kids misbehaved noisily in the restaurant and, if not for Scientology, they would at least be on Ritalin.
Interestingly, though, he painted me in a rather favorable light. He gave a long background on my history as a baker, claiming that I had “taught Philadelphia to bake”, and went on to characterize me as an unapologetic, dedicated craftsman of artisan baked goods, and that I was happy as long as my products met my high standards, and that I believed I had the right to damn well spend my money on whatever religious cult I pleased, and I really didn’t give a shit what Philly mag or anyone else thought. I kind of liked that.
In the end, if the article affected business, I really didn’t notice.
About a year later the anxiety and depression came back and it was 10 times worse than before, and lasted 3 years and I didn’t think I was going to make it. Most nights I couldn’t sleep and during the night I began reading self-help books (secretly, so I wouldn’t get in trouble since they were “other-practicy”). Gradually I began to feel better and in 2004 I went back to Flag to do OT-5 (I had previously been back to Flag, years earlier, to do OT-4, which didn’t help my condition). My time at Flag lasted way longer and cost way more than predicted. The worst thing was that I was told I wasn’t really clear, except they couldn’t show me the reference, and had to get about 2 or 3 intensives of HSDC until they told me I had had the clear cognition and I could attest (again). It was happening to a lot of clears back then. It was a total waste of time. I eventually did get half way through OT-5 but I ran out of money and time and came back home.
While I was at Flag I had gotten an email from a woman named Isa Goldfarb who I knew from the old days at Camp Ramah. Isa had spent 10 years of her life living mostly alone in the jungle in Costa Rica! Then she had come back to Philadelphia when her father had gotten sick. She wanted to know about Scientology since she knew I was into it and she thought maybe it could help her. I gave her an exuberant reply, mostly out of habit and training I guess, because by then I really wasn’t feeling that way. This led to Isa getting some Book One auditing at Philly org, which she liked, and then she bought about 3 intensives of introductory auditing which did not go well, in part because she was told that the auditing had to be done all day long, “intensively,” which led to typical sessionabilty issues of having to overeat all day and feel stuffed and try to nap when you can’t, and so forth, and she had a bad experience. I never agreed with the intensive auditing thing….the best auditing I ever had was one session a day. She also was sold the Purification Rundown which she got through without much benefit, followed by TR’s and Objectives, which went on forever and didn’t work out either. I was feeling kind of bad since I knew she was doing this on my say-so, and in reality my enthusiasm for Scientology at this point had been waning for a while. Nevertheless Isa and I spoke often and began to develop a close relationship.
As time passed I became less and less interested in any more auditing which seemed to be of no benefit to me, although I did get talked into going to Flag 2 or 3 times for review auditing and ethics handlings since it was considered such an out-point that I wasn’t moving on the bridge. Each visit got more and more arduous and expensive, and the auditing tedious and useless. It really did not have the intended effect of me jumping back on the bridge. But I did stay involved in Phila org as an OT committee member and got quite involved in fundraising for the Philly Ideal Org. Over time I donated about $100,000 to the building purchase. I also donated refreshments from LeBus for all the Ideal Org fundraisers, and once LeBus did a large-scale, very expensive catered dinner for free, which raised a lot of money. Also about this time Andrea and I split up. The kids were teenagers and aside from having raised the kids we really didn’t have that much in common.
Then Philly Org got the good news that the 8 million dollar, 15- story building on Chestnut Street that we had found to be our new Ideal Org had been “approved by Int management” (thanks guys!). At the time it didn’t make any sense to me since the existing 2-story org building was pretty empty, but I wanted to help.
I remember the week leading up to the deadline for purchasing the building (I don’t know where the “deadline” came from) we were coming to the org practically every night, planning “strategy”, getting as many public as we could to show up for fund-raising meetings where we would play the Rocky theme and people would be expected to come up to the dry-erase board and write down how much they would donate. Of course the most fun activity was when we were given phone lists of people, who in some cases we hadn’t seen in decades or were possibly deceased, and we had to call them to get money. This was a waste of time because of course no one in their right mind would answer a call from the Org, and anyone who did, by accident, pretty much laughed us off the phone. Essentially no one gave any money except the 30 or 40 of us hard- core adherents.
Then one afternoon during all this we found out that Golden Era was coming that very evening to capture on tape the wonderful excitement of feisty Philly org sprinting toward the finish line to purchase their Ideal org and then clear all of the Tri-State area within weeks. We were told the segment would be featured during the next International event, with COB narrating!!! Naturally we ALL got emergency calls that afternoon to show up by 8:00 to stage this freak show for the cameras. And naturally, we all did!
The scene I was chosen to be part of depicted a bunch of us calling other parishioners on our cellphones, ostensibly raising thousands of dollars. Of course I have to admit that when the time came I had a little stage-fright. But no problem! The Gold professionals had been through this before! To set the scene they carefully seated about 9 or 10 of us around a table (attractive women in front). Then they showed us how to smile like morons, gesturing and talking animatedly into our cell phones, as if we all had multiple people lined up on hold, waiting their turn to donate their kid’s college funds.
Why did we participate in this phony nonsense? I guess that what bubble-dwellers do. Much to my relief, I missed the International event where they ran that feature, if they ran it at all.
As for raising money, we were 1.2 million short the night before the so-called deadline. So two OT committed members, Chuck Simon and Michael Holstein, gathered about 15 of us together around midnight, and said that they would get a bank loan for the 1.2M balance the next day if we each would sign an agreement to pay back our share, which came to $76,000 each, with interest, at the rate of $1000 per month for the next bunch of years till it was paid off. Some of the guys refused, the rest of us signed. Later the Org knighted us the “Legion of Heroes.”
So we bought the building, which is still sitting there, about 7 or 8 years now, boarded up, much to the displeasure of Philadelphia Department of Licenses and Inspections, waiting for the money to be raised for renovations.
After all this I began to go on course less and less, and always found excuses to avoid fun things like International events, and (always exciting) OT Committee meetings. I even dusted off my piano and used the extra time to start to play again.
Then one day I saw a NY Times front page article on Scientology and somehow I got myself to read it. In it, a few women, including one that I knew, talked about their coerced abortions, and I really couldn’t believe what they were saying. It didn’t seem possible….not in Scientology. Then one night I stumbled onto a radio interview of Marc Headley, a real SP, and I mustered up the courage to listen to it. He talked about the insanity of life at Int Base, decades-long sleep deprivation, Miscavige’s brutality, the motion detectors and in-facing razor-wire, and his escape when the blow-drill guys practically ran him over. Amazingly, he sounded like an honest guy who was telling the truth. One thing led to another and I bought “A Piece of Blue Sky” and I hid it and carefully and slipped it out when no one was around and read it. I was shaking every time I reached for it. After that I read more books (I couldn’t stop!) and started looking on the internet.
All the time I kept to myself hoping to just quietly disappear from Scientology. The main reason I wanted to keep a low profile was Ruth, who was working in the bakery as my Human Resources manager. Her two kids were both Scientologists, one in LA in the Sea Org, and the other on staff in Philly. I knew it would be real rough on her if I was declared since presumably she would have to leave LeBus, and I didn’t want her to leave plus I knew she depended on the job. As for me, none of my family was in Scientology (thanks to my non-Scientology wife, who hated Scientology and thankfully kept the kids out of it), so that was not an issue.
Then about 2 years ago AOLA had a tour in Phila and “Willie Wong “ was giving free sessions and I got a phone call from a guy named Frank to come get a session. I told him I didn’t need a free session from Willie Wong and also there was no way I was going to AOLA for services. Presumably he had been told that I had a business and some money to spend so he was REAL persistent and after about 20 minutes on the phone I agreed to meet him at Starbucks. When I arrived at Starbucks I spotted him right away with a suit and an IAS button and a painted-on smile and fake TRs and I knew I had made a mistake, especially when, I guess to build some ARC with me, he said he’d been in the food business also, before he joined the Sea Org. He told me, acting nonchalant, that he had had fifty pizza restaurants rated “Best in the Country” by some magazine. I asked him what had happened to his Best in the Country restaurants when he joined the Sea Org. Had he sold them? He told me “no, all fifty went out of business because I had an SP on the lines”. Seriously? Must have been one hell of an SP.
Anyhow as you can imagine the conversation didn’t go well, and after a few minutes I began to let him know that I didn’t like the way Int Management was running the Church, specifically the excruciating regging, the catastrophically stupid Ideal Org program, the cruel realities of disconnection, and the fear Scientologists had of seeking information or speaking their mind, among other things. I asked him if he had received Debbie Cook’s email and he said he had. I asked him what he thought of it and he looked at me like I was an idiot and said “well I didn’t read it,” you know, once he realized that the contents were critical. I said “OK, let’s get this straight: Debbie Cook, CO of Flag for 13 years, who had gotten more people up the bridge than you’ll ever even meet, has something to say and you are not even interested?” He muttered something about how some enemy line had gotten to her. And not only that, but he also said that I must be a “borderline” SP.
Well, I had never heard of a “borderline” SP, but I figured a sharp guy like Frank would know one when he saw one. At any rate, I saw no reason to continue the conversation so I got up and began to make my way to the exit, with Frank yelling across Starbucks at me that I had “evil purposes”, and now even the baristas knew. The man was a total robotic bubble-dwelling tape-loop. No room for conflict in his life.
I guess it took about 2 or 3 months before the envelope arrived from the International Justice Chief informing me that I was now an SP, just like Marc Headley.…maybe even worse! (Only kidding Marc, if you’re reading this. I’m sure you’re much worse.) There was no inquiry, no committee of Evidence, not even a request for a meeting or a phone conversation or any clarification on my part (just in case maybe Frank had misunderstood). The declare itself was not in the envelope, just a letter and the suppressive acts policy with all the bad stuff I had done highlighted.
I practiced in my head a few days how I would tell Ruth, and finally asked her to meet me at Starbucks (I picked a different one this time). I was really kind of trembling sitting across from her and when I began to speak I said “I have something to tell you but please don’t get up and leave before I finish…” but before any other words came out of my mouth she reached for my hand and said “David, I know”. Apparently the goldenrod itself, which I hadn’t seen, had been posted in the org for a week or so prior to me even getting my letter in the mail. Now that I think about it, I guess that’s SOP so that people will disconnect from the person being declared before the new SP gets a chance to communicate with them.
Almost four decades ago while I was being exiled from the Philadelphia Jewish community, I remember sitting with the ethics officer in Philly org. He asked a question that made a lot of sense: Why didn’t the rabbis or community leaders try to help me? Considering my noteworthy contributions to Jewish education and culture in Philadelphia, and lifetime identity as an observant Jew, wouldn’t you think they would reach out to come to my aid? If they really believed I was being misled or duped by an evil cult, why didn’t they at least attempt to embrace me back into the fold, inquire about what had gone wrong that had caused me to lose my way?
Clearly they were acting out of fear. Too many young Jews were abandoning their faith as they got older, and the leadership needed a scapegoat, which in this case was me and “fake religions” such as Scientology which, I heard repeatedly, was “antithetical to the principals of Judaism”.
I believed at the time, of course, that Scientology would never behave so blindly and ignorantly. Clearly, I believed wrong. My excommunication from Scientology was even more violent and abrupt and final than my excommunication from Judaism.
I was talking to my son Benjamin about this about a month ago, and he pointed out that I have the distinction of having been kicked out of two religions in my lifetime. And, frankly, it’s not so bad. I moved on from the first quite easily, and needless to say the Scientology declare has freed up a huge amount of time, not to mention MONEY. The phone calls, inviting me to events, or to get back on course, or show up at a fundraiser, or someone at Flag calling me ordering me to get my butt down to Flag to see the MAA so I could be told what to do to get my damn ethics in (answer: buy a complete set of the Congresses), have stopped!
And mercifully my recycling containers are way less heavy given the load of Scientology junk mail that has steadily diminished. Now I only get mail from NY Org where I had a brief stint as a student while I was married to Deborah. Apparently they haven’t gotten the memo. And please don’t anybody tell them. I kind of like getting the occasional magazine or promotion. I keep them in the bathroom and peruse them now and then, just to remember old times.
About 6 months ago I was driving in my car and my cellphone rang. When I answered a young woman asked if I was David Braverman, and said she was in the Sea Org and she was doing some sort of search or inquiry into the history of Celebrity Center NY. I’m still not really clear on what it was about or why she was doing it, but she seemed very sincere and sweet. I told her I had been a PC at Celebrity Center in 1975 when Yvonne was there; in fact I think the very first. We had a very pleasant conversation for a few minutes. She sounded very young. Then she asked what service I was on, or something, and I said, well, none, since I had been declared. She paused and said: “Declared? Declared what?” I answered “You know….declared.”
She sort of gasped and hesitated briefly I guess to try to reconcile how the nice guy she was talking to could be an SP, and started to say something but nothing came out. I said, “look, I know you’re probably thinking you’re not supposed to be talking to me, but really it’s OK. You see, first of all, the reason I was declared is that I disagreed with Int Management, and as far as I can recall, Ron never said you couldn’t disagree. Actually, he said the opposite. Second, I’m not really an SP. I’m really a good guy who likes to help people.” She said to me, kind of softly, like she didn’t want anyone to hear that she was talking to an SP, “why don’t you do A to E? I know someone who did it and got through it….” I said, “well, it wouldn’t work for me. You see, to start, I could never get through the ‘recant’ step, since how can a person honestly recant something he believes to be true?” I decided not to point out to her that I had no desire at all to be part of the church. I didn’t think she would understand how that could be possible.
After my declare I was still paying off the $1000 per month “Legion of Heroes” money, which had dragged on for reasons I won’t get into. Of course, I had no interest in the Ideal Org, but the money at this point was a debt I agreed to pay Chuck Simon and Michael Holstein as individuals, and I didn’t want to not pay them.
Then I decided to try something. Typically my bookkeeper would communicate with Chuck concerning payments or balance, but I decided to email him myself and ask him to send me a statement, and I threw in a few inquiries about the rate of interest. I wanted to see if he would respond to my email, you know, communicate with an SP. After all, if he didn’t it might jeopardize him getting his payments. I know this sounds a little cynical, but I guess I was feeling a little cynical. By the way, I had heard that quite a few of the other members of the “Legion of Heroes”, (you know, the heroes who were not SP’s) had never finished paying.
Chuck did write back, but his responses were extremely brief and terse…as few words as possible, like he was trying to lessen the time he was going to have to spend in a sec-check to handle it. And I continued paying. Then on a hunch I went on the “Philly Freedom” Ideal Org website to find my name on the donors list. I figured I was at least in some upper status like “Super Emeritus” or something.
Surprise, surprise! My name was not on the list at all.
Now, don’t misunderstand, I could give a shit whether my name is on the Ideal Org donors list. But this pissed me off. I mean, I gave a lot of money (not to mention the catering, and my supporting role in the Golden-Era-productions-Philly-Ideal-Org feature). So I wrote a letter, a real letter, on real paper, explaining that I know I’m an SP and all, but nevertheless I donated to the Ideal Org with a sincere desire to help, a LOT of money, and therefore why was my name removed from the donors list? I sent the letter to Chuck, Michael, Steve Oleck (the ED of the Org), and the chairman of the OT committee. Of course I had no expectations of actually having my name put back on the donors list, but I thought they should at least be made aware of their hypocrisy.
I sent each person the hard copy of the letter, and emailed it to each of them as well, twice. I got no response from anyone, except Chuck. He told me he would look into it. This went on for several months, during which time I sent him reminders every couple of weeks. Finally he sent an email back saying why didn’t I contact the people in charge myself. Well, I thought I had done that, but I asked him who he suggested I contact who would communicate with me. He said he would get back to me on that, and a couple of days later he sent me email which said I should contact the International Justice Chief, and he conveniently provided me with the address.
So I wrote back to Steve, explaining to him that if my name was to be put back on the list, the decision would have to be made on a local level, by individuals choosing to actually do the right thing, defying whatever policy they thought they were following. I told him that if I contacted the IJC as he suggested there were two possible outcomes. Outcome #1: (most likely) no response at all, or outcome #2: I would be told to do A to E, which was not going to happen.
By that time I had finished paying Steve the money, and I haven’t heard from him since. I haven’t written either. I suppose I could pursue this matter more vigorously, but life’s too short.
I have to say my life since being declared just gets better and better. It feels like being let out of a cage. One thing of course is I can spend guilt-free time doing what I want to do, which is great. But even greater is not having the mental pressure of worrying that maybe I had a critical thought or sexual thought or that I’m not doing enough to clear the planet or “oh my god, I just looked at the D of P’s boobs now I’ll have to get it off in session”. Also I have gone back to piano and I’m playing classical and taking jazz lessons as well.
You may remember, from the first or second paragraph, that helping to clear the planet was not why I got into Scientology. The reason I got into Scientology was to play the piano better. And, just so you know, the way to play piano better is: practice.
And I have a great 2-D with Isa (yes, I still use that term), who I wrote about earlier. We share a strong interest in natural foods and holistic health. And we also read books and use the internet to explore the mind and spirituality. It’s amazing how much information on the subject is out there, and I can try whatever I want!
Nevertheless, if I think about it, I guess I would say that I’m still a Scientologist, if that means I use tech in my life. You just can’t spend 40 years taking courses and reading books and not have some things become second nature.
I guess maybe if I had chanced on a different mental or spiritual practice instead of Scientology I would have been similarly helped. And OK, yeah, it would have been a lot cheaper.
But ultimately Scientology did change my life for the better; at least what I gained during the early days. I understand the nature and capabilities of a static, and I know that I am eternal, and that I will always be me. And I understand something about how the mind works. At least my mind. And I don’t usually get stuck in negative emotions or attitudes that I don’t want. I can sort of spot them and make them move away. When I started being able to do that is when I figured I went clear. Maybe not clear as described in Book One, but clear for me.
Oops… I hope that doesn’t sound like a success story. I don’t want to lose my readership here! But we all got helped somewhere along the way. That’s how we got in, right?
Oh, and I know this may seem silly, but I’ve never gone out-security on the OT-3 materials. It’s not a big deal, but I gave my word and I just don’t see the need to talk about it. Does that mean I’m still being mind-fucked by the cult? I don’t know…. I don’t think so.
And also, I’m sick of journalists and critics claiming that the OT-3 story is the central theme of Scientology, or the Scientology “creation story”, or that to be a Scientologist you need to buy it. It’s none of those things. To me it’s totally peripheral. I mean, Scientology is a big subject. Any benefits I ever got came from other parts of the philosophy, or from my early auditing, not from the OT levels. As for the Scientology creation story, check out The Factors, which I always liked.
I never met L. Ron Hubbard, but many who knew him and worked with him describe a deeply flawed man; narcissistic, hypocritical, insecure, cowardly, belligerent, a pretender. He could also be cruel. His research for the most part was sketchy or non-existent, and much of his work plagiarized with no credit given to actual sources. And the final indictment of his spiritual and mental technology is that he died sick, reclusive, and sociopathic.
But on the other hand he was clearly a complex man, at times brilliant, talented, and certainly charismatic.
But while it is true that that I became increasingly disillusioned about the effectiveness of the technology the further I traveled up the Bridge, my break from Scientology stemmed not so much from that, but rather from the obvious criminality of Miscavige and his regime. Although it can be said that the ruthless nature of the organization as it exists today evolved from Ron’s own paranoia and vindictiveness.
But whatever you believe about Ron, it is hard to accept the assertion that he did all that he did only for money, self-aggrandizement, or fame. Anyone who has done even a peripheral study of the mountains of books, policies, technical bulletins, taped lectures, assists, correction lists, tone scale, the technology of the eight dynamics, TR’s, Code of Honor, and all the rest, would have to recognize the truth and workability of at least a portion of it.
And he kept going, writing more and more long after he had all the money and fame he needed. Who knows, maybe buried deep down was an actual desire to help. It is unfortunate that he had to discredit himself and his writings by embellishing and lying about his life and accomplishments.
So Ron, dude, if you ever make it back to earth from Target 2, just be yourself. No one needs you to be a war hero or explorer or Eagle Scout or whatever. And tone down the rhetoric about how Scientology is a massive evolutionary step, surpassing every prior mental science or spiritual pursuit. Really, it’s not.
During the 5 or so years that I have been free of the cult, I have kept a low profile because of Ruth. But Ruth worked her last day at LeBus just last week, having accepted another job less demanding than Human Resources manager for a 250 employee company. So now I have written this little (or not-so-little) memoir, and it feels good. Thank you all for reading it.
David Braverman
03/12/15
Hi David, I enjoyed this article. I have a few questions about your friendship with Rich. Without putting my life story on the internet, we’ll just say I’m close to him. Please drop a comment if you see this!
Hi David,
Apparently you’re my godfather. I’m the newborn mentioned, daughter of Rich and Lindsey. There is so much I don’t know about my early life and the people in it because my father was declared, my mom was kicked out of the sea-org, and we ended up running from my father to SC in the early 80’s. I have had my fair share of horrors with Scientology organizations (my mom got back into it for a while in the early 90’s). Thinking too much about my experiences with Scientology literally makes me feel sick, so I won’t get into it too much. I’m glad your business is successful and you’ve been strong enough to withstand all that you have. Just wanted to drop you a line. 🙂
-Christy
Dear Pepper, You know, I never really thought about writing my story, but once I started it just kept pouring out. There was actually so much more, but I was afraid it was already way too long for anyone to read. I have been amazed by the response.
Thanks for commenting and for your kind thoughts about paying back the money. It really never occurred to me not to. Chuck and Michael are both good guys and I doubt if either of them agreed with the declare. It makes me wonder if they’ll eventually wake up.
Take care and happy spring (thank god!)
David
Thank you David.
I believe that Chuck and Michael know who you truly are and that is not an “SP”. They will not forget how you kept your word to them and set a good example. I hope they will wake up sooner than later, if they aren’t already reading up on the blogs now. You never know what can happen with people. Life has its twists and turns.
Happy Spring!
Just found this blog. David do you remember me? You offered me a job in Le Bus when I was an undergrad at Drexel. 1979/80?
Elie Scialom
Hello David,
I just finished reading your detailed story, which I thought was excellent and gives a person a good idea of what it’s like to be a public Scientologist. You took a lot of time and care writing it and I want to say thank you for that.
There’s so much that can be said but I have to let you know that I think you are a very honorable man to have repaid the two individuals (Chuck and Michael) the Ideal Org “Legion of Heros” debt. This shows your character and moral compass. An SP wouldn’t have done that and frankly, wouldn’t have even cared.
I’m very happy for you that you are out and free to do whatever you wish with your time and money and enjoying life with Isa. My best wishes to you.
Carolyn,
Thanks for writing. Glad you read the story, and glad to hear you’re doing well. And 2 kids!
Take care, David
Hello David!
What a fascinating read!
Really nice to know you are faring well.
…Fond memories of time spent together.
Wishing you all the best David!
Carolyn(“Kiki”)Conway-White
Hi David,
One other comment. Btw, thanks Brian for posting the link.
At any rate, our gift is that you get to do the real, original OT VIII.
May all OT VIII’s be well and happy!
Dear David
An interesting tale.
Most was your early gains in Scn when the Tech was applied correctly, later on I note you were routed onto level after level as a solution to the “not doing well on a level, lets move him up one”.
No wonder the effectivenss of the OT levels seemed to dwindle.
A pity yu gave up before you found a C/S who knwe what the hell he was doing. That gain in TR0 was just a taste of what is possible.
Good luck on the web based spiritual journey.
If early gains applied directly is the answer, where then, are most of the old timers, highly trained auditors, clears and OT’s now? Either gone or had to do all their training and auditing over. I don’t agree with your summation, but hope your own journey goes well.
Hi David, as soon as I saw your name I had to read your story as a Jewish declared SP like you, I felt a sort of kinship. Your story in many ways was so familiar to mine and I commend you on coming out of the fog and realizing there is a wide world out there for you to experience without looking over your shoulder for fear of some unbidden thought or deed that would wind you in ethics. I know that was a great relief for me! It was a very well written story and thank you for sharing it.
By the way, the statement you made: “The man was a total robotic bubble-dwelling tape-loop. No room for conflict in his life,” had me actually laughing out loud! Well said.
Dear David,
Shalom and welcome to Freedom from the “Church”. As a jew and an Israeli the word Church still have a bad connotation to me, in-spite of being a Scientologist for 35 years, 7 of them in the Sea Org at Flag. My wife Ronit is also from Israel. We left the SO in the end of 2008 and publicly announced our departure from “that Church” in June of 2014. I am so happy you have described your journey in such a detail and especially your wins from the Tech. It is so easy to forget how auditing and training contributed to our lives, because of greed and inhumanity done by certain real SPs. I loved your wins from TRs, since I had almost identical win. I was introduced to Scientology in 1980 by good friends of mine, also Israelis, who at that time lived in San Francisco. The comm course was fantastic and I have also experienced that same “exterior” feeling you are talking about from TR-0. Right on the spot I quit drugs, that I have used for over 8 years. I actually enjoyed almost my entire journey up the Bridge, till I joined the SO and started to see how the Tech gets abused and misused. My wife and attended the celebrity center in NYC on 82nd street from1985-1992. My wife was Class IX auditor in Flag AO and we are still very strong believers in the power of Tech, no matter how many people trying to disrepute it. The TR’s, auditing, assists do work and properly applied create miracles.
It is very commendable that through out your entire journey, you had kept your business afloat and when you left the Church you had the stable datum that LeBus is producing. I met many people that could never regain their havingness after giving all their money the church. Very well done. I admire your strong ethics and integrity to continue paying off the debt you have committed to.
Only a “MENCH” like you can do it, not an SP.
Wishing all the best in the world. Happy Passover!!! Happy freedom from Slavery!!!
Yossi
Hi Dave, Thanks for sharing. I started in the 5th Ave mission in 1972. It must have been after you left. I knew Howard Rower and his wife very well. I married Kiki more than 25 years ago. We have two adults and
we are still married. I will put her on to your story.
George M. White
Hi George, No, I was there in 72. Maybe we know each other…how long were you there? The only Kiki I know is Carolyn Conway…is that your Kiki? We met in Clearwater in 87. Also, was Howard really declared? Why?
Hi David,
I do not remember meeting you in New York. Did you know George Chelikis? He and his wife Gweyn were friends with my wife at the time. Howard Rower spent time at the mission. His wife Mary had a financial post and she hovered over me because I had money.
My wife is Carolyn Conway. We met on the Freewinds in 1988 when I completed OT VIII.
Howard was declared for a variety of reasons. I remember talking to him. He did not survive the mission holder crisis. He decided to buck the system. As I recall, there were financial police at the time. He was American Indian. He took no crap. He was in it more for the money. He also had an extra-marital affair.
David,
I also recall that we moved to Pennsylvania in 1976. I was a regular at the mission until then. Bruce was the course supervisor. I also met people at the New York Org. Do you remember Darby Simpson?
George, Well, this is all very interesting. First of all, hi Kiki. Although I think when I knew you i called you Carolyn and that was OK with you. I remember meeting you in your sister’s little restaurant (on Cleveland st?). It was the summer of 87 when i was doing OT3. I remember all the time we spent together and also you came to Phila to visit me once, and also I remember visiting you somewhere up near Boston. I don’t remember which trip, but I saw your sister at Flag years after we lost touch (Martha, right?) and i asked about you and she said you had sort of dropped out, and, still being in myself, I wondered why. It is good to be in comm with you again.
Yeah, I can see where Howard was the type who wouldn’t take any shit. Good for him. I can also see him having an affair. Well, I really liked him.
I don’t remember George Chelikis, but I do remember Darby Simpson, except the only thing I remember about her is she was really pretty, right? I don’t remember her post or anything.
God, you made it all the way to OT8? Impressive. Did anything change?
David,
There is a lot of history in this story. When I first met Kiki, she mentioned Le Bus. In fact, we were in Philadelphia visiting U Penn in 2010 and we looked for the old place, but you had moved long ago. We dropped out of Scientology in about 1989 after I did OT VIII. That is a long story which I can save for later. Martha stayed in until a few years ago. Kiki and I lived in Massachusetts for a few years. We then moved back to Florida. Then we moved to Memphis TN where I got a really good job with Autozone as a computer programmer. We then moved back to Florida to the Tampa area in 2004.
The people from the mission in NYC were very proud of me having reached OT VIII. I liked the level but, as I will explain later, I found a better path for myself in Buddhsim. Kiki has joined me and we are very happy with our new religion. In truth, it worked out better for the both of us. In fact, I spent a large part of the day working with two monks writing a book on Buddhism. This is a long term project. Carolyn and I study Pali together. In fact, she now has a better memory and a better accent. I hold up the fort because I can put together sentences which help in understanding Buddhism. It has been the labor of almost 15 years. I have broken new ground also in starting a translation of a 2,600 text which was translated in 1948 but needs a lot of work.
I made it to OT VIII because I kept working like a madman with Hubbard’s works. I never took no for an answer and I demanded service for my money. When I got to the top, I found out that I had a keen sense of my own path. Kiki had some auditing, but she made more progress in Buddhism by a million miles. It worked for both of us.
I asked about Darby Simpson because she was declared and I felt bad for her. Never heard if she is OK.
Kind regards,
George
David, George wrote a book on his OT 8 experience. You can download it very inexpensively on Amazon or buy the book. Here is the link.
http://www.amazon.com/LUCIFERS-BRIDGE-SCIENTOLOGYS-LOST-PARADISE-ebook/dp/B00T70928U
David. I’m late in the day commenting here but just wanted to thank you sincerely for taking the time to write your story.
Kicked out of 2 religions is reminiscent of a sort of religious out-int!
The work you achieved in your business is admirable. That takes some doing. Watching it sort of morph into something much bigger. Great stuff. That would be its own story. Sell the basic to your staff, give them all Problems of Work, become a charter member and so firkin’ on.
Speaking as you have crosses continents and many, many UTR read and think and know.
Thanks again.
Subreption, Yeah, kicked out of 2 religions, but I suppose there’s many more if i was interested. Yes, building a business is incredibly hard. Like everything worthwhile, it takes persistence more than anything, and just wanting it real bad. But it was also a blast.
As far as my blog entry goes, it’s been quite a revelation to me just how many people are out there and how powerful words and thoughts can be. I’m blown away by the reaction. Thanks!
Subreption and David,
I had a teacher back in the 80s who was very unconventionally religious.
He said you cannot know anything about religion until you get kicked out of at least half a dozen religions.
That datum is of comparable magnitude to the data in Hubbard’s article: “How to study a science” in “SCN: A new slant on life.”
The formula for understanding: In order to understand any subject, you have to evaluate it against every subject of comparable magnitude in the known universe. Hubbard was referring here to scn.
He said, if all you can do is parrot the author, you are slightly aberrated.
Dio
Dio said, “The formula for understanding: In order to understand any subject, you have to evaluate it against every subject of comparable magnitude in the known universe. Hubbard was referring here to scn.”
Which might be true. However, El Con made it an S.P. Declare offense for scientologists to do just that vis-a-vis scientology and Dianetics. Which shows that he KNEW it was an unworkable disastrous, con job.
John,
That is the standard research formula for any competent and intelligent research scientist.
Research and evaluate all existing data on a subject. Then develop his new ideas upon that.
No use reinventing the wheel or remaking the mistakes that were made in the past.
Hubbard made many, many directly opposing or conflicting statements through out scn.
One statement is from some level near the bottom of the tone scale and theta scale and the other is from somewhere around 4 or above 4.
Now if you understand communication and how it relates to the tone scale, that you can only comm with a low tone level person no more than about a half a tone level above his level.
If you do it will either go over his head or make him boil over.
So most people in scn are at levels from around the bottom of the tone scale, they only clued into the lower toned data.
Only the few higher toned people would clue into (cog on) the higher toned data.
Therefore ask yourself, where do you fit on the tone scale/theta scale if you say that datum is a con job?
Hubbard was apparently more aware of what he was doing than we give him credit for.
Dio
“Therefore ask yourself, where do you fit on the tone scale/theta scale if you say that datum is a con job?”
I said that datum (about comparing related subjects) is probably true. Where do YOU fit on the scale if you couldn’t understand that I said that? Also, with El Con being an inveterate liar, felon and drug addict, where do you think that HE fit on those scales?
John,
Objectively speaking, on the surface it was evident that Hubbard was as much genius as he was conartist and scoundrel.
That coud be called multiple personalities.
It is my hypothesis that there were one or more beings channeling through Hubbard to produce scn.
I have come to that conclusion by evaluating the significantly different tone levels and theta levels of his writings and his talks.
And no human alone can produce so much research and do so much work.
Dio
Thanks for your well-written write-up. I don’t comment much on the blog here, but you came across as such a fabulous, decent guy and said a few things that really resonate with me and so I just wanted to tell you. I too am one of those who thinks that all would be good if all I did were TRs and then left. Within the first month or two of joining Scn I was doing TR0 and I popped out of my head. I could have graduated right there and then, but I figured that if that was what I got out of it right at the bottom of the Bridge, then what good things might come if I went all the way to the top of it. 20 plus years later I went all the way to OT8 and I can still say that I should have graduated that day I popped out of my head doing TRs.
Another notable thing you wrote about was that, even though you were declared, you still continued to pay your share of the debt on the Philly ideal org arrangement you had with Steve. Many others would have totally reneged on such an agreement, but it is very notable to me the length and breadth of your integrity in keeping your word. There is just NO WAY that Steve or ANY others who know that you kept your word on that arrangement could possible think, in good conscience, that you are an SP. Some day when they all wake up – which is inevitable – they will realize what puppets they were.
You mentioned in a comment elsewhere above that you are a David Icke reader. Perhaps you’ve then also heard of David Wilcock who, though not the same as Icke, has some similarities. I was recently watching some David Wilcock youtube videos – one in which he talks a lot about various types of ETs – and I thought to myself that it is really fabulous that I can just watch these gripping videos without having to first pay for and undergo a rigorous sec check. I’m sure you feel exactly the same way as you delve into other research on the history and/or meaning of life.
I wish you much success and happiness in all your endeavors.
Roxy, You made it all the way to OT8? That takes some doing. Was it worth it at all? Or did you just keep hoping?
Thank you for your kind words about me. It really does make me feel good to hear it. As far as the money goes, I never considered not paying it…even more so after the declare, if that makes any sense.
Yes, I have learned a lot from David Wilcock, but it’s been a few years.
Thanks for your comments, David
David, to answer your questions, even after one has completed OT 8 one lives in hope that one’s amnesia is handled at least from this point onwards. In other words, one still doesn’t have total recall at will of one’s own past, but one HOPES that in one’s NEXT life one would recall THIS life at least. IMHO the OT8 promo gives one nothing but hidden standards. It is worded carefully to mislead you, without telling a “lie”, into thinking that you would have some great ability at the end of it. I chose to disabuse myself of the hope that Scn sells. Was it worth it all, you ask? Yes, I met my husband through Scn. 🙂
You are a great man David! Many of us share common views as you.
Hi David, I love your write up and your sense of humour.
There are many parallels to my life in Scientology and I identified with much you wrote.
I also didn’t find Flag the friendliest org on the planet, to the contrary. Also, I was there only once and had two Flag Only Special RDs and found nothing special about them at all. It was a waste of my time and money. I told this to a Flag terminal visiting our country one day quite soon after this and added that the RDs could easily be delivered by anyone Class V, even a Class IV auditor, in a Class V org. She didn’t like that one bit.
I also just got more and more disenchanted with the poor service, the poor delivery, ever ongoing fundraising from which I withdrew early on in that games, thankfully. I withdrew from the church (they couldn’t deliver what I needed anyway having no auditors for what I needed, albeit bottom of the Bridge services after Clear; couldn’t even find me a twin for the Solo 1 course!) quietly, stopped going to events, stopped taking phone calls and got rid of all my Scientology books and lectures to a metal and waste paper company. They took the lot!
This all had the most amazing effect of feeling as though I’d been let out of a cage (just like you!). I don’t even talk Scientologese anymore. My life did a huge turn around for the better in all ways. I’ve not felt happier in years, certainly was never happy while I was in. The happiness is ongoing, not fleeting. It’s a daily occurence.
Yes, I did get some benefit from the experience. Some of the knowledge gained about life and myself will stay with me forever. Some of the “tech” is useful and I use it and some of it I couldn’t have done without. But so much is just so much bs and I’ve been able to recognise it and toss it. I was spared the OT levels, thank heavens.
Decompressing for me has also been easy. But like you, I’m still an Scn information junkie on the lookout for more information even though I probably have enough by now to last me. I am getting bored a bit with it all but not ready to let it go fully yet. I believe I’ll be truly free when I don’t care anymore. That will be quite a day for me.
In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt me to stay connected this way. I probably need new hobby to place my interest in! 🙂
Congratulations David, I so admire all you have done & what you have been through! Your wonderful bread sounds like food for body & soul & you write beautifully. May we all shine in our light & the Infinite Light.Much joy & music to you & yours. A Forever Friend, Ann B. Watson.
Ann, thank you for your thoughts and your friendship!
Great story, David. I was more than a bit put off by the part about your Jewish community abandoning you. I would think they’ve experienced that a lot over the decades and would be far more considerate and thoughtful.
I was in earlier than you, I suspect, never experienced the current pope and got out when I realized that I was *done*. As for LRH, I don’t know where he got his information, but I found it enormously useful. Your comments re the comm course really struck a chord. And back when I was a supervisor of them, the shortest time I can recall them running was six weeks, 5 nights a week and TOUGH.
Most pleased to hear you’ve returned to your music.
thegman, I used to get furious when new people would start the course and be put on TR’s on a gradient. They completely missed the boat! As for the Jewish community kicking me out after everything, it was despicable. And Scientology even more so.
Great write up, especially the “early days” part. TR0 going exterior and key out OT. May I suggest, that all steps after that is actually an overrun. And, you think that your key out state “faded away”. Yes, mine appears to have gone too. But just consider if you would have to do objectives, some lower grades or even pre OT levels like OT 3. What else would be beyond exterior and free from MEST laws?
David,
My self-appointed (though interestingly and happily increasingly unnecessary) hat is to cross-post information, and try to avoid being a Copyright Terrorist. (Old-timers from the ARS days will catch the reference.) I wanted to let you know the link to your story and excerpts have been cross-posted to the Ex-Scientologist Message Board (ESMB) as:
David Braverman has been Declared a Suppressive Person by the Church of Scientology
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?38773-David-Braverman-has-been-Declared-a-Suppressive-Person-by-the-Church-of-Scientology
and to Why We Protest (WWP), the home of Anonymous on web, as, you guessed it:
David Braverman has been Declared a Suppressive Person by the Church of Scientology
https://whyweprotest.net/threads/david-braverman-has-been-declared-a-suppressive-person-by-the-church-of-scientology.124712/
I’m informed the story has also been Tweeted:
https://twitter.com/IndieScieNews/status/579109621115285504
As for the title, I wouldn’t have cross-posted under that title if I thought your Declare was a private matter or you were the least bit bothered by it. In the past I’ve had “never-ins” see a post titled “[Fill in the blank] has been Declared a Suppressive Person by the Church of Scientology,” react WTF?, and ask good questions. They can’t believe it.
Finally, I’ve read a lot of these stories over the years, and none were better than yours. Best wishes.
Dear communicator I/C, Thanks for cross-posting, although I never intended to be famous. And thank you for your compliment on my story. I found it soothing and sort of energy-giving to write it down, and fun too.
Hey David, peace to you and yours man.
You’ve been there all right, battle scars and all but one day that house of misery will be just a hard to comprehend memory.
Best wishes…
Great narrative. Thank you. I loved this line: “The man was a total robotic bubble-dwelling tape-loop.”
I’ve been there and seen that! Great visual.
David, Excellent write up. Excellent in every respect. Congratulations and very best wishes.
This was a great story David, tragic at the many times as it were. Long perhaps, but continually enjoyable, unique, and very understandable read. Very well written.
Thank you, and welcome home.
I loved the story. Sounds like you got the EP of that route, as did many of us. Life goes on. Enjoy.
Matt, hey man, heard your interview(s) with Jeffrey Augustine and they were very interesting, particularly the inside look at the regging methods and finances at Flag. I don’t know what you do in life now, but good luck with everything and thanks for reading my story and commenting. David
Congratulations David.
Another brave soul emerges.
And Ruth… if you’re reading this… You can be brave too.
Hi David, as soon as I saw your name I had to read your story as a Jewish declared SP like you, I felt a sort of kinship. Your story in many ways was so familiar to mine and I commend you on coming out of the fog and realizing there is a wide world out there for you to experience without looking over your shoulder for fear of some unbidden thought or deed that would wind you in ethics. I know that was a great relief for me! It was a very well written story and thank you for sharing it.
By the way, the statement you made: “The man was a total robotic bubble-dwelling tape-loop. No room for conflict in his life,” had me actually laughing out loud! Well said.
Bonnie, I take it you were born Jewish too. But all that seems like 100 yrs ago.
As for Frank, he was all those things and more. I wish I could have thought of more words to describe just how much of an automaton he was (is). Well, the church can have him. He might end up being their last remaining member once everyone else wakes up.
Hello David,
What a well written and riveting story!
I am wondering how many people started their journey in Scientology by way of the Body Router in a Mini-skirt? I know I did!
I think the trajectory you describe is not unusual: wins on the TR’s and Life Repair, followed by diminishing returns and punctuated by a miserable end on Eligibility and above.
It reminds me of doing drugs: the first time(s) you get high you get a chemical release and so you keep drinking, smoking or snorting hoping to get the feeling back.
And what a cool achievement: Thrown out of Two religions! Now that is OT!
I hope to someday make your acquaintance and wish you live long and prosper!
Yeah, Molly was good-looking and she had a teeny skirt on. And not just for body routing…she always wore them. Also, I didn’t mention this in my story, but I was stoned that day walking down the street, which back then was not unusual for me, which had something to do with me stopping as well.
Thanks for reading my story and commenting Andy, and be well. I would love to meet as well.
Re mini skirts, I talked to the head of Div 6 in my mission and he said that they purposefully sent out the super good looking girls in mini skirts to body route people into the Msn because they all came In because of the girls. in fact the staff at the Mission nicknamed them, “The Fox Patrol” and “We’re sending out the Fox Patrol” etc. For you young readers, “Foxie” means sexy.
great story dave. it shows how later SPs like Marc and Cook and random interviews across the net have effects.
now that you’ve posted it are you worried about any OSA backlash, like messing with your business?
David – Thanks for taking the time to write and post your article. Congrats on your wins early on, keyed-out OT. And congrats on jumping all the hurdles laid out for you, seeing what’s right, and sticking with it. If you’re doing (ahem) outside reading, try Nicomachean Ethics. Joe Sachs does a great translation. The train of thought of classical philosophy goes unbroken in Scientology. It is a continuation and to me a resolution of ages of philosophy. It’s pretty easy, given the data of Scn, to trace the roots – it isn’t plagiarism anymore than saying “Italian Renaissance” plagiarizes the guy who first thought that phrase up. Scn picks and chooses from an enormous body of work, including formal logic, but makes sense of it, integrates it. If you read Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle is talking about the endeavors of men from different walks of life, of different dispositions, at different ages in their lives, the virtues and the not-so-virtuous attributes of their thoughts and acts. But it took LRH to come up with the admin scale, which resolves. It is not plagiarism to repeat and draw from when one has the resolution.
(Also, congrats on being kicked out two religions in one lifetime! That’s a new one!)
Also, I have a Q about pianos. Generally, wood instruments improve with age. I thought a piano would, too (more resonant). A piano salesman told me that the mechanisms of a piano wear, so it is not true that they improve with ages, and that it is cheaper to buy a new piano than it is to refurbish an old one. Do you know the truth of pianos? Is it better to buy a new one to one’s ear, or is it a better idea to get an old one?
Nickname, Thanks for your comments. I will look into Nicomachean ethics….sounds interesting. As far as plagiarism goes, there is nothing wrong with using the ides of those who have come before…of course. Everything Mozart wrote starting out sounded just like Haydn. But he didn’t copy the same notes. However in the field of philosophy or science I believe it becomes plagiarism when ideas are stolen and paraphrased and no credit is given to the originator.
Pianos have 4 major components: the shell, the frame, the soundboard, and the keys and action. It also has the pinboard and pins (which hold the strings and are turned when the piano is tuned) and of course the strings.
My piano was re-built by a company here in Phila. When a piano is re-built, the shell, which is the wooden body of the piano, is repaired and refinished, but always retained, as well as the frame which is the metal harp inside which the strings are stretched across. The soundboard is kept if possible, but because it can warp over time it is often replaced. The pinboard and pins are always replaced. In the case of my piano the soundboard was in good shape and was kept, which makes me happy because I think it is the heart and soul of the piano. The mechanism which the salesman was talking about is the action, which is intricate and there is one for each of the 88 keys and each has like a hundred parts and of course that is always replaced when a piano is rebuilt, along with the keys in most cases.
My piano sounds amazingly great, plays beautifully, and I love that it is a hundred years old! (I’m almost that old myself! Just kidding) Also, it cost me $31,000 completely rebuilt, delivered to my living room. A new Steinway baby grand that same size would be around $70,000. So it’s a win-win for me! If you want to discuss it further contact me…my email is dbraverman@lebusbakery.com. Maybe we can talk over the phone.
Golly, David, your story is very well told. I totally agree with you that a lot of the better things Scientology has to offer is delivered early on. By the time one gets on to the OT levels, which quite often end in disappointment, it very often is difficult for the pre-OT to leave, as he or she by the has been so indoctrinated, and the cult leaders are so good at making us think “we” are wrong when in reality “they” are wrong. Congratulations for being so successful in your business and for being so happy away from this oppressive, controlling organization. Even though I did not get nearly the gains that you did and was not nearly as successful in life, I can say that my NED Drug Rundown was powerful.
Yes, definitely the best is when you start. I mean, if they started everyone off at OT 3 don’t think too many would stay. Or maybe I’m wrong! Anyway, thanks for reading my story, and thanks for the compliment, and whatever your goals are, keep at it!
Loved your story Dave. It’s a good story. If nothing else Scientology has given many of us some colorful chapters to our lives. To each his own as to the value of the tech. What I believe that we all agree on is that the Organization of Scientology is toxic. It is run by people who believe themselves to be clever in controlling others while they themselves are being controlled.
I’m glad you were able to pretty much shrug it off and use whatever good came of the whole experience.
I only hope that those with loved ones still in will someday be able to do the same. I also hope that things quickly change before irrepairable financial damage is to many of the “faithful”.
Regraded Being – love your comics. Awesome work and thanks for making me laugh each Thursday. You helped run out the engram that gets restimulated each Thursday particularily at 2pm. LOL
Now – What about some comics regarding the REGG CYCLE and all the lies Staff tell people about putting money on account and the contracts they make you sign.
All the scams to get money on account and the fundraiser scams would be funny too.
Jeesh, the material Scientology gives you is endless, isn’t it?
LOL
Stranger than fiction.
Regraded Being…is it really you? I love your shit! Very funny and imaginative. As for me, moving on was pretty easy, a relief more than anything, but of course I do not have any family in. If i did, particularly my kids, I would have had to suck it up and keep showing up and above all keep my mouth shut. Hey….keep up the comics. I always get excited when I see one.
Body Routing NOT—March 20, 2015—Vermont Avenue and Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, California
Yesterday, I bought Lawrence Wright’s Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & the Prison of Belief in paperback. Barnes and Noble received their first shipment of that edition a couple of days ago. It’s much easier to wave the paperback at passersby than it is to wave the hardback.
Today at 4:00 PM, on my way home, the bus turned the corner from Vermont onto Sunset, just two blocks from PAC, the Scientology complex. I saw one Body Router on the northwest corner, two on the northeast corner, and a gaggle of them on the southwest corner. For a little while, all of the Body Routers just stood around, looking at each other with their thumbs up their as*es. I got off the bus, but as I approached the street corner, I noticed that one of the Body Routers had just handed a”free” ticket for a personality test or a movie to a victim! With only four seconds to spare before the light changed, I ran across the street (all six foot four inches of me), arm outstretched, waving the book, proclaiming, “Read the Scientology expose! Read the book, see the movie, Going Clear!” As I left, I explained to the gaggle that I am alarmed with what David Miscavige is doing to the church. A couple of young female Body Routers actually looked somewhat enlightened, as if they had been unaware of the book or the movie.
I continued west along Sunset, and when I arrived at L. Ron Hubbard Way, one of the Body Routers recognized me from before (this isn’t the first time I’ve touted the book and movie). He had someone with him (a Sea Org member from abroad, I believe), and they stood with me for a couple of minutes. I pointed at the Scientology complex and told them I had arrived in PAC before any of those orgs were open. “In fact,” I added, “my first day in the Sea Org turned out to be all-nighter in order to complete the renos of Los Angeles Org so she could be opened to the public.” That Body Router crumpled up his face a little and waved me off as he walked away, but I calmly, with good intention, got his attention, for he turned around to see me state: “We’re not in agreement with what David Miscavige is doing!”
Very well done, David…artisan indeed!
Much love, One Point Won
Hi, David,
A never-in here. This is a remarkable story, forthright and honest. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It can’t be easy to look back and reconsider things in the light of what we know today, so truly-nice work. Glad you’re out ( and that your kids are free from the influence of the cult).
Congratulations on keeping your business, making your escape and for being true to your business partner.
What’s your take on the state of the Philly org today? The Chestnut Street building cost you and others a bundle. I wish that Ex-Scientologists could get their money back after the various schemes that pulled it from you. I won’t hold my breathe, but would love to hear your take on the old org on a Race and the empty shell on Chestnut.
Thanks.
Hi Aqua Clara, thanks for your kind words. Yes, if anyone had ant sense the Chestnut street building would be sold and the money used to buy a modest building in a different part of the city…maybe around Rittenhouse square. They might even have money left over to keep in reserves for hard times, which are bound to come. Oh, wait, they’re already here. But of course they can’t do that because a) nobody has the courage to do the right thing and b) the deed is held by the landlords office. Well, If they ever do raise the money for rennos and open it up, you will probably be able to spot staff doing call-in from their cars in January just to stay warm.
Ms P, Alan Crause (I think it is spelled with a C) was my auditor as well, I think in 1974 for method one word clearing. I also liked him personally. I think he is still around, in the used car business. I think he is married to Ginny, unless i have him totally mixed up with someone else. I am happy you wrote this comment to let me know you read my story. And thank you for your compliment on my writing. I never really wrote before and it is thrilling to hear people say it was moving.
Please let me know if you want to have a cheat day and I’ll meet you at the bakery. David
David – I believe we are talking about the same Alan and probably you and I have passed each other in the hallway. I would love to meet with you for a cheat day and rehash some good old days. Need to know what days you’re at the bakery. Not sure how it’s done here but think you can get my email from Mike. Please send me a message.
Great story Dave. Thanks for taking the time to lay it all out in such detail. It was a great read.
Really great story David. Public Scientologist stories and Sea Org stories are so different, yet in some ways the same.
One quibble. The only Scientology Mission I remember in the neighborhood of NYU was on Sixth Avenue, not Fifth. Right off the corner of Eighth Street, it was close to the famed or infamous Morris Katz Gallery, the “King of Toilet Paper Art.”
Howard Rower’s mission was on the corner of Fifth Avenue and W. 10th Street.
I highly recommend that all misleading or deceptive Church fundraising practices, misleading PR, or anything else that is dishonest, be reported to the IRS on an easy-to-use on page form: http://scientologymoneyproject.com/2014/04/18/time-to-13909-the-church-of-scientology/
SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT – WRITE A KR ON THE CHURCH TO THE IRS!
* Deceptive fundraising practices by the Church of Scientology can be reported using the 13909
* Each and every instance of Scientology misbehavior, lies in its PR or fundraising, and any other form of misbehavior needs to be reported. Use Form 13909.
* Tweet this post and help educate the public and those with family and friends still in the Church.
* It is high time to step up pressure on the Church of Scientology using the exact IRS technology to confront and shatter Scientology suppression and the SP’s in OSA!
*Let’s use the law to create a snowstorm of complaints about the Church of Scientology in the IRS!
Thank you J Swift for all of your effective work in exposing the money scam of Scientology. Excellent idea to write up a KR on Scientology to the IRS. Let’s get Scientology’s Ethics ruthlessly in!!
Tom Cruise said he had no problem putting people’s ethics in because it put Ethic’s in on himself.
Well, Tom Cruise buddy – it is time to get your Organization’s ethics in. Start with yourself though and take a peak behind the curtain. You know what Miscavige is doing and has done!! Time to come clean and get the show on the road!!
Why am I talking to Tom Cruise?
LOL
Yes, J, Swift,
There is nothing that the co$ says or does, that is without deceit and fraud, even though it is well hidden and protected by many layers of lies. Everything said or done is some how designed, sooner or later, to take everyone to the cleaners, incl the IRS.
Dio
David – I loved reading your story, very eloquently told. This brought back good memories of my early days when I started at the Ardmore mission circa ’72. Started with the comm course, etc. and my wins on the TR’s and early auditing, it seems to parallel yours. I was never at the Phila. Org. because I had moved away before the mission became an org. My first, favorite and the best auditor I’ve ever had at the mission (and that’s saying a lot, compared to ASHO, AO and Flag) was Alan Kraus (gees it’s been so many moons ago I pray I got his name right). He was such a good guy, an angel, genuinely wanted to help people, a born auditor. I often think about him and what’s happening with him now. I hope he’s out of that church trap.
Anyway thanks for sharing your story I agreed with every view point (i.e. OT3) and think we’re kindred spirits. I’m not too far from your neck of the woods and plan to come visit your bakery even though I have to stay wheat free for now but that day will have to be a cheat day.
David, great post. Funny, when I left, I started to play the piano. I am from Philly originally and will have to try your bread when I visit again. Best wishes for much fun and happiness in the future.
Carla, thanks for commenting. Call the bakery and let me know if you want to try some bread if you do visit Phila.
Thank you for your interesting story; many of your episodes remind me of my own experiences and adventures. I appreciate your validating L. Ron Hubbard for his technology. Through the perverted implementation under the command of the RTC harm is inflicted and, therefore, often a tendency exists to overlook the benefits that can be obtained with a proper application of his developments.
Especially, persons who have no subjective reality on auditing tend to place too much importance on significances rather than on removing of what we designate as mental charge.
While the CSI is working towards making Hubbard’s technologies unusable, his work is blossoming and surviving at various places outside the “Church.” I experience daily people who are excited and are benefiting from being audited.
Thank you Wolfgang. You know, I had doubts about writing anything positive about the technology since I feared it was to then wrong audience. But it seems to me that so much basic Scientology is useful…even brilliant. It’s not right to lose sight of that because of the distortions and brutality of the corporate church, or because of the flaws of the man himself. So I wrote what was real to me. I wonder if it will all eventually be lost due to the demise of the corporate church. Good luck to you!
I’ve noted before that for scio to have been so successful in those early years, there *had* to be a lot of truth involved. Yes, Hubbard stole from others and called it his own, but much of what he stole actually worked. Thus the many stories from the old timers about the changes they were able to make in their lives. I would dearly love to know all the sources that Ron cribbed from. (Even the name was first introduced in the early 1900s by a German, I believe.)
Thank you for sharing your story, David. I appreciate your courage in sharing the details of the depression you felt at different points on the bridge. I can remember times I felt like poop but, never said a word.
Also, that you watched out for your friend and made good on your financial promise go to show your strength of character.
I’m very happy for you that you are free of all that and that life just gets better for you! You deserve it!
Thank you Laura Ann. Yeah, Chuck and Michael are good guys. And I guess i also kind of wanted to rub their noses in the the conflicting evidence that a real SP would obviously abandon the debt.
Yes, the depression and anxiety was a terrifying experience for me. Thank you for understanding the significance of my talking about it. Im hope life is good for you too!
David, as a never-in I really enjoyed your story from such an early period until recent times. My perception was that you a public so early in your bridge already had heard or experienced so many negative experiences. Not that this defined your time inside the bubble as all negative. You clearly did have wins, some of the tech worked for you Great. To me your story as a public so early 70-80s period having doubts, well that’s the first that’s sunk in with me.
Very interesting to hear that quickie-grades were occurring so early on in the history of Scientology.
As for Eastern or Buddhist tie ins I believe that LRH liberally made use of previously published materials. If Eastern teachings still interest you I suggest Kundalini meditation techniques for study, it is said to be one of the most powerful. Exteriorization can be found if desired and you put the time in along with other benefits.
Finally to Mike Rinder for giving David Braverman a forum in which to publish his thoughts on his experiences inside Scientology, thank you.
Oh 1 more thing Soon the World will be hearing more stories by the end of the month.
Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief
Thank you Taylor. Yes, early on I had observations of things that were conflicting and confusing, but mostly positive and hopeful experiences. Thank you for referring me to Kundalini. I will check it out.
Outstanding essay David.
Thanks for sharing and coming out.
I have updated information for you on some of those 1970s folk you mention.
karendelac@gmail.com
Karen,
Thanks so much for commenting. I listen to your blogs all the time. I’m thrilled that you took the time to read my story!
I am curious about so many people from the early days. I will email you to find out what information you have. Talk to you soon, Karen. David
Great account of your Scn adventure, David.
SO Div VI exec Bob Harvey stated that Howie Rower’s neighbor in Greenwich Village was Bob Dylan and that Dylan had done some Scn. He also mentioned something about Rower being a baker or a natural food fadist which was his entre to BD.
Any comment?
Hi Dave, great story.
Unlike others here I have no connection to Scientology aside from outside observations (and curiosity) that fuel my own study.
I just wanted to say thanks for representing Philadelphia. I remember when Le Bus moved out of the bus and into that bright and airy building across the street. I hope/think my memory is correct(so many good restaurants popped up on that stretch back then). I still live in University City/West Phila.
Keep on being you…all of you. Keep on making that bread Dave. A co-worker of mine even came into work today with a baguette from Le Bus.
Trip, I love being part of Philadelphia and I love having a brand that represents Philadelphia. Yes, the cafetieria on Sansom was very sunny…do you remember the big atrium seating area in the back? God, those were the days. I hope the baguette was a good one. Remember to re-heat them for a few minutes in a hot oven when you can! Thanks for commenting Trip.
thank you for telling your story , David.
I was declared some months ago and now what mattered the most in reading your story was the 1917 Steinway , which kind of indicates the change in priorities!
Mine is 1911 and gives me all the happiness I need , besides my family of course.
There is a simplicity to your narrative that is both touching and fascinating given the complexity of the situation. I would compare it to a Bach fugue and the little Chopin nocturne in C minor!
Yes…you are the first person to mention the significance or the piano. It does represent for me the shift in my life…I actually hadn’t even realized that until just now. And it was practically the first thing I mentioned. Also, you correctly observed that the situation was complex, but the writing simple. I didn’t see that myself until now as well. Thank you Marie, and keep playing.
Davids SP Bio closely mirror’s the story of 80% of the SP’s & PTS’s I know 🙂
AND there are a LOT of us – more Out than IN ! According to the policies I studied this scene does not
compute – – –
A common theme is how much Fun life takes on when disconnecting from MisCavology.
Let me ponder – oh yeah – Reference needed – got it ;
“If it ain’t FUN – it ain’t Scientology.”
(Yvonne Jentzsch of old-CC fame championed this reference, according to my sources).
Even Ron would forget this reference and so affected his own PR by not ensuring this remained true and was maintained as a part of recommended group behavior.
I am lucky to have seen this reference being totally true, possible and available – but a lot less, recently.
Getting back to that Ideal seems to me to be one way to dispose Miscavige and the associated Goons / Handlers. People want Fun and they sure aren’t getting it today, in MisCavology. All they are getting is an empty bank account and an engrained, cookie-cuttered, Robotic non-personality.
I work with Inventions and repeatedly I find that the Inventor is usually as crazy as they come (or is easily made so) – and is therefore usually “PTS”, in its original definition. Trouble gravitates towards people who create the Future – unless that trouble is controlled and checked. Hence the benefits that arise from a gentle application of the Tech. Have seen it over and over – will always believe in this observable Truth.
From this cognition I understand how Ron could have been be as crazy as they come – after all he made the greatest Invention of all time – – –
So I now mainly forget about Ron – he’s been gone for nearly 30 years. I look at the Tech because thats still here. Too many folks seem to be concentrating on things / events that may not necessarily be important, in Present Time.
As David Braverman concludes, life can be good again. However, as with the rest of us, I observe that its better because we are ;
1) Without MisCavology
and
2) We DO have the Tech. (even when Ron is now apparently absent). Also, we SP’s can be observably positive products of whatever chunks of that Tech we received and kept. (This varies wildly, from person-to-person).
Thats a perfect combo and a knock-out-punch to DM – – – lets keep it that way 🙂
#
Great story David – and really well written as an added bonus! I don’t consider myself a Scientologist these days – but I absolutely respect the right of anyone to do so. I dear friend of mine told me of a meeting (s)he was summoned to not that long ago and attended by mainly OSA terminals. (S)he told them in no uncertain terms what a RELIEF it was to no longer be a Scientologist. That really resonated with me as did your line “I have to say my life since being declared just gets better and better. It feels like being let out of a cage”. Well done mate – welcome to freedom.
Thank you Martin. I really appreciate your generous comments about my writing. Yes, it is such a relief to be free of all the pressure and duress and thought-control. Just about anyone who has escaped will say the same thing. Well done to you too, Martin!
Another case of the application of non-standard tech to get money and ruin the PC.
The SP is the C/S not you.
I’ve never read a person’s full exit story, but being that I’ve played piano for 16 years, you hooked me pretty quick. I’m glad I read it all. You’re a cool dude.
Hi Nick, well, since you’ve never read a full exit story, thanks for reading mine! I’m doing my best to catch up on about 35 years I missed playing piano, even though when I was young I never thought I would do anything but music. Keep it up, Nick.
Hey David, wow, how the world changes!!! We hung out for some time at the HGC at Flag in the mid to late 90’s. I remember your bus stories, building your company from nothing on nothing … they actually inspired me in my own endeavors that have a similar beginning though in very dis related industries! I could easily say that our company had a little Le Bus involved in its birth, though our first move was with sinking barges and now Mack trucks rather than old school buses!!
Hi Mike…I think I remember when we talked. Glad my Lebus stories were an inspiration! I’m glad to here you have built your company as well. Take care!
Hey Dave ! Great to see you- You stood up for our wedding when we got married on the MONEY BOAT (freewinds). We still have family in, so it’s tricky not divulging too much. Glad to see you are out and doing well. Take care my friend, my wife is digging out pictures of us as I type. She found the lobster dinner pictures- yep ! that’s you. Great story by the way. Hope to cross paths again sometime.
OMG!!! I remember! We had lobster together…you, your fiance, me and Ruth! I remember I actually had a pretty good time on the boat, but mostly just going for long runs on the island, the scuba diving, eating, and meeting you guys. If you find pictures, I would love to see them. my email is dbraverman@lebusbakery.com. I can’t believe you remembered my name!
An encouraging read, thanks for writing it. I hope Ruth finds her way here one day.
Leaving CoS cognition: I now know my life won’t get any worse.
David, I’m so happy for you to have taken this opportunity to tell your story. It is so ridiculous that someone like you, someone who gave our org so much, who cared for us and contributed so much of your time, your money, catering every event for decades…such a kind soul with nothing bad to say ever about anyone – I can imagine what it did to those who knew and loved you for decades in the Philly field to learn YOU’D been declared!!! It had to shake a lot of people. It did me and I was already out, out out of the trap. Enjoy your life as you have, living it on your terms for so long and overcoming life’s obstacles in hte pursuit of the adventures. Big hug to you David, gayle
Hi Gayle! Gayle, I remember during the horribly difficult period I spoke of in my story around 2002-2003, I came to the org a few times and we sat in qual together and talked about what I could do to feel better, and how I felt better I did feel each time we talked. It was so important to me that you were there to help. I can’t put into words the how I was suffering mentally at that time.
I often wonder what the people at Philly org think about people like me, and you as well, being declared. How do they reconcile it ? Do they pass it off with the usual “they bought some enemy line” or “went PTS” or some-such thing. God, I would love to sit with a bunch of old friends from the org right now and have a calm, high ARC talk about what I believe and why I left. Maybe I’ll see you next time your up around here!
love, David
A riveting story, I couldn’t stop reading till it was over. The experience of “going exterior” doing TR’s is identical to the experience of doing tantric “kriyas” years before I discovered scientology. Kriyas are an ancient practice that involves two people facing each other staring intently into each others’ eyes. It goes on arduously for hours. Typically you experience what is sometimes called, “pure witnessing” and in scientology circles, “going exterior”.
Thank you Roger. I have heard of tantric kriyas, but never made the connection as you have. Thanks for commenting.
I really enjoy these types of posts. They correlate to my experiences in Scientology. Good at first but more and more troublesome as time proceeds. And because the early times were so good we put up with the BS. That is how we are we are gradually brainwashed into all the fucked up shit we endure in our effort to “go free”. Ron was right about gradient scales. Except this one is a mind fuck.
One of these days I will “come out”. I am just trying to educate some still ins “gradiently” on the BS. So for now it’s UTR for me. Though I’m not sure how long that will last as I’ve become more vocal about it all!
David, it must be a relief that the only thing you’ll ever be audited on again will be the safety and quality of your product.
This is, of course, assuming that I’m not your auditor.
Espiando, You must be in some branch of the food business! Yes, we’re audited all the time! And I don’t think we’ll ever make it to the top of the bridge.
Food safety and quality for twenty-five years or so, and I’m a qualified (and in some aspects certified) auditor. So, in my own way, I’ve gone up both sides of that particular Bridge.
Thanks for posting your story Dave, very informative.
That was very enjoyable. Thanks David, and very glad you’ve come out of it so well.
Excellent writing and insightful. Sounds like you made it out with your sanity!
Thanks for writing this.
Wow. What a terrific EP. 🙂 Wonderful share, David. Thank you. I love what your son said: you were “kicked out of 2 religions.” I’m still laughing. I think you’ve found your way. !! So glad to hear your wonderful, outrageous story. I’m so glad I never went to Flag. I am so learning that happiness on a moment-to-moment, day-to-day level is what life is about. Choose happiness. Choose ease. Choose fun and celebration. Happiness, freedom and self-expression is everything that Co$ is not. Continue playing piano. !! Wish I were in Philly so I could try your artisan bread.
Thank you for reading my story Zana, and for your good wishes. All the same to you!
David: Great narrative. Congratulations you enjoyed what you could about COS (and Judaism) but refused to be drawn into the controlling bullshit beyond where your internal logic and strength and integrity said no more for me.
Oh, meant to add that kneading good bread dough is some of the best therapy around!
Thanks Tony-b. Yes, I was quite drawn into the controlling bullshit of Scientology, for many years at least. By contrast, Judaism allowed me to pursue my career as a conductor because I was able to use my background in jewish culture and my knowledge of Hebrew to specialize. You are correct, somehow I was able to observe what was happening and pull out. I am continually surprised at the inability of so many intelligent people who I know who are still in who don’t seem to be able to use their eyes and their intuition to see for themselves. Maybe it is a question of integrity as you pointed out. Or courage.
Tony b.
You: Oh, meant to add that kneading good bread dough is some of the best therapy around!
Me: I full heartedly agree.
Along with every kind of MEST work, from routine house hold chores, cooking, baking, house cleaning, gardening, making dinner parties, doing hobbies, wood working projects, nature hikes.
There are many reasons why we become aberrated.
And one is: We go insane to the degree we do not do anything.
And you can’t get sane in a unclean, untidy house.
What is industry?
Industriousness is to keep oneself in constant action to a profitable result.
The industrious person finds little time for Satan’s inspiration.
Labor:
All people must Labor. Reasonable labour develops your bodies into strength. The act of Labor develops the spirit of man to profitable personal, intellectual and spiritual growth
Paraphrased from the Oahspe.
The objectives are designed to rehabilitate people who have not done much of the above in life.
If keeping busy and industrious is what somebody must do to be at peace with themselves and the world then that is what they must do. I, however, enjoy sitting and doing nothing much of the time. I’m free from the notion of stats, that I have to do something important to keep the world turning and the birds chirping.
Roger,
Quote from: Scn: A New Slant On Life:
Article: Past, Present and Future:
The avoidance of work is one of the best indicators of a decayed state on the part of a personality.
There are two common denominators to all aberrated personalities; one is the horror of work and the other is the horror of pain.
End of quote:
Dio
Dio, a horror of work would indicate a “tamasic” state of mind per vedic scripture. “Tamas” is the quality of solidity and heaviness in the universe. It’s what we commonly call “mass”. When that quality predominates in the mind, you have laziness, denial, religious fanaticism and drowsiness. Your true nature which is beyond all qualities is always content and carefree. That is your true nature. You needn’t do anything for that to be so. I don’t have a horror of work. If work is what is called for I will do it whistling a happy tune and I won’t try to avoid it. Work is a “karma” or a DOING defined as an effort to achieve a specific result. That result is always intended to provide an experience of satisfaction. When you already have that satisfaction 24/7, work is no longer a means to that end, it is merely a matter of doing the appropriate thing. I don’t consider Hubbard to be an authority on anything but his own opinions. Some of my opinions are in agreement with some of his. I don’t think Hubbard is smarter than I am. And let me share with you my slogan: “Scientology does NOT work. YOU do.”
Hi Roger, Thank you for your comment.You make sense.Take Care Ann Watson.
Ann, it is impossible for me to not acknowledge your communication with a “thank-you” 🙂
Roger,
You: Your true nature which is beyond all qualities is always content and carefree. That is your true nature.
Me: I don’t think so. An honest, sane and intelligent being has purpose and direction and needs and wants a game to play.
You: You needn’t do anything for that to be so.
Me: I do not think so. A sane being would get bored if he did not do something, and therefore would not be content and carefree for long.
You: I don’t have a horror of work. If work is what is called for I will do it whistling a happy tune and I won’t try to avoid it.
Me: Well that is a different story, than your first point.
Therefore you say that you only work if it is necessary.
That is only working if there is some reason to work or there is a reward for the work.
That is probably just above boredom,
It is true that; It is the innate nature of a being, that it needs a game to play. It needs to create something. It needs something to do.
You cannot keep a being with a healthy mind down.
You: Work is a “karma” or a DOING defined as an effort to achieve a specific result. That result is always intended to provide an experience of satisfaction. When you already have that satisfaction 24/7, work is no longer a means to that end, it is merely a matter of doing the appropriate thing.
Me. I think that is slightly skewed, slightly perverted. It is a justifier. It is only an argument.
A sane, intelligent being works, because the accomplishment of things is of sufficient reward in itself.
You: I don’t consider Hubbard to be an authority on anything but his own opinions.
Me: I do not consider him to be an authority on anything either.
It is my hypothesis (from judging/ critiquing/evaluating the different tone levels and theta levels of all the data) that one or more entities were channeling through him to do dianetics and scn, and the work is contaminated with Hubbard’s bullshit, partial truths, perverted truths, lies and traps.
I have read and studied a fair bit of channeled work before and honest people give credit to the source, but Hubbard (due to his criminal and con artist nature) took credit for the data that was channeled through him.
You: Some of my opinions are in agreement with some of his.
Me. The same for me.
But I do not use the word “opinions”.
Like not knowing the difference between a belief and a fact is the basis for insanity and incompetence,
so is not not knowing the difference between an opinion and a fact.
Ergo, I prefer not to use the words “believe” , “belief” and “opinion” unless I need to express an uncertainty and when I do, I qualify my words as such.
The world in general operates on beliefs and opinions, and eristical arguments, and that is the primary reason for all the chaos, insanity and conflict.
If people were evolved high enough on the scale of intelligence (the theta scale) they would operate on truth and facts and use good reason and logic, use a dialectical discussion process, there would not be any significant conflict. There may be the odd skirmish at worst, but only until the truth or the facts were determined.
It is the arguments to defend lies, and harmful acts, beliefs and opinions, false and limiting data, that cause perpetual conflict.
Most people are only intelligent to argue to defend their lies, their ignorance, stupidity, crimes and such. And their right to be that way.
You: I don’t think Hubbard is smarter than I am.
Me. The same with me.
But at the same time, the good parts of dianetics and scn have saved my life many times. I would not trade my experience, and what I learned from dianetics and scn for anything.
The most important thing Hubbard said: Is “I blazed a trail. Now go and build a better bridge.”
That is what I am doing for myself. I am gleaning everything that is good and useful from dianetics and scn and building myself a better bridge. I am also learning from all the mistakes. Because it is cheaper to learn from someone else’s mistakes than your own.
I have done a lot so far.
The biggest room in the world is room for improvement.
You: And let me share with you my slogan: “Scientology does NOT work. YOU do.”
Me: That is not much of a slogan. It is more non sense than anything else.
When you use the word “work” you are using a two valued logic. A black and white logic. Either all right or all wrong.
Neither are correct.
Using an infinity valued system of logic is the right way.
Some of the data in dianetics and scn is very correct.
“Work” and “works”, has to be taken in it’s proper context.
For example” When auditing is done correct, it works.
There is no better system or method to clear the mind of PTSD known on earth.
If someone knows of a better method, and can prove it, I want to know about it.
The trouble is that it is very difficult to find good auditors.
And according to Geoffrey Filbert, Hubbard did not know how to audit.
At the same time,there is a lot of true data scattered throughout dianetics and scn.
The logics and axioms are mostly correct. They do have a few errors.
There is a lot more data that is correct.
In so far as evaluating the workability of the “Bridge” as per the objectives or goals or states of being and ability of the “being”, as promoted, the bridge does not work. In fact it is a spectacular failure.
Bob Ross, said, after 30 yrs of evaluation, that the idea of standard tech has to be gotten rid of.
He said that the only reason people in the fz are promoting the bridge is for money.
The important thing to keep in mind when evaluating dianetics and scn is that every datum from beginning to end has to be evaluated on it’s own merits.
Apply the data in “How to study a science” to every datum.
Use Carl Sagan’s “Baloney detection kit” also. Find it on line.
Use good common sense too.
Dio
“Dialectical dialogue is a cooperative, intelligent, two-sided truth-seeking art that requires having the right knowledge on the subject to be properly qualified to discuss the subject, education and training in proper communication skills, a mind that knows what truth is, is capable of recognizing truth when encountered, a constructive and balanced attitude, and using the best available empirical science and facts, partial only to the truth, to compute the most superior computation, the highest truth possible, the best solution possible, the most right solution, the most workable or most practical solution possible, on a given subject.
Whereas eristical dialogue is a foolish, stupid, ignorant, non sensical, irrational, one-sided, quarrelsome, and antagonistic argument, usually based on specious and spurious reasoning and opinions and beliefs, instead of facts..” — From Douglas Walton’s 1999 book One-Sided Arguments (paraphrased)
The truth is determined by the conscience of honest men, probituous men, righteous men, properly informed on the subject at hand, with a confirmed reputation for good sound judgement.
Dio, I enjoyed your reply and I like the way you took me to task for specific points instead of referring to generalities.
You say, “An honest, sane and intelligent person has purpose and direction and needs and wants to play a game”
You also say in response to my assertion (that our true nature is carefree), that we wouldn’t be carefree for long if we didn’t have anything to do because we would get bored. Therefore you seem to be saying that our purpose is to avoid boredom and the way to do that is to play a game.
You say we need direction. Direction toward what? A direction is always toward something so toward what should our direction be? The avoidance of boredom? I have absolutely no problem with a person’s highest purpose being the avoidance of boredom but I suspect you do.
You say, “A sane, intelligent being works because the accomplishment is of sufficient reward itself”. You’re saying the accomplishment itself is the reward, correct? Well, what is a reward if it isn’t the carrier of the experience of satisfaction? Clearly, every action we perform is done with the aim of achieving a specific outcome and that outcome ALWAYS is meant to be an experience of satisfaction. How can anybody disagree with that?
Our true nature is carefree, non-changing, ever-present awareness. We are awareness itself and that awareness exists beyond time. Games and purposes exist within time because they are based on future outcomes. How can awareness which exists outside of time be influenced by things within time?
It has to be made clear that thoughts, perceptions and emotions are time-bound objects within awareness. Awareness is the unaffected witness to thoughts feelings and perceptions. Thoughts, feelings, perceptions are what make up the mind/body apparatus called the person or “being”. Awareness does not itself have likes or dislikes. It remains ever the carefree witness of likes and dislikes, pleasure and pain, excitement and boredom.
I’m speaking from the platform of the ancient knowledge of advaita vedanta so I can’t take credit for thinking this all up myself. This knowledge pertains to the realization that there is only one thing and all things are THAT. It’s also called, “non-duality”.
Roger,
Thank you for your rebuttal.
You cannot talk about the rules of two or more dimensions at the same time.
Each dimension has it’s own rules.
What applies to one dimension does not apply to another.
Each dimension is probably a gradient to somewhere.
To where we can only speculate.
And speculation is conjecture and conjecture is a waste of time.
It is for neurotics, those who cannot face reality and deal with reality.
We can only intelligently talk about the reality of this dimension.
One dimension is not better or more holy than another one.
There is a purpose for each one.
And one purpose cannot be better than another one.
Therefore we must deal with this dimension, and we will likely never graduate from this one until we get it right.
Dio
I don’t know what you mean by dimensions because you didn’t say what you mean by dimensions. Vedic scripture says there are three dimensions or orders of reality and we experience all three simultaneously. What you say about the dimensions not impinging on each other is in accordance with that knowledge. There is the subjective reality (pratibasika) which consists of your thoughts, feelings, perceptions. There is the empirical reality, (vyavaharika) which consists of the shared universe whose laws are the same for everybody. Then there is absolute reality (paramarthika) which is witnessing presence. Paramarthika is considered the only thing that is real. In vedanta, “real” means that which is non-changing and is ever-present. That would be YOU as pure awareness.
Roger,
1. On one hand: You raise a fair question by saying that you do not know what I mean by dimensions.
I would say that no one earth really knows for certain.
There are many philosophers who write about dimensions and I have not seen any agreement between the different ones I read.
My best definition is only an imaginary one or intuitive one, (as a concept) based on the common denominator that I could best comprehend of what I read. It did not occur to me that I should.
You can spend some time reading up on definitions on line.
Here are a few:
Dimension:
a. a property of space; extension in a given direction: A straight line has one dimension, a parallelogram has two dimensions, and a parallelepiped has three dimensions.
b. the generalization of this property to spaces with curvilinear extension, as the surface of a sphere.
c. a magnitude that serves to define the location of an element within a given set, as of a point on a line or an event in space-time.
d. a plane of existence.
Wikipedia has some detail. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimension
I just thought of these definitions:
A location of existence. A place where some thing can be located.
2. You only refer to Vedic scripture as your source.
There is a saying: Beware of the one who has only read one book.
The formula for understanding as explained in “How To Study a Science”, which makes the most sense for mere earthlings, is in order to understand something, you have to study and evaluate every subject of comparable magnitude in the known universe. If you do not do that and only parrot an author or authority you are only slightly aberrated. Parroting is not intelligence.
From: How to study a science:
Any person who accepts knowledge without evaluating it for himself is demonstrating himself to be in apathy toward that sphere of knowledge.
When a person tries to erect the plans of a life time or a profession, or even base an argument on data which he himself has never evaluated, he cannot possibly succeed.
Fundamentals are very, very important, but first of all one must learn to think in order to be absolutely sure of a fundamental. Knowing how to think properly and honestly is the first requirement. Thinking is not particularly difficult to learn. Briefly, it consists merely of comparing a particular datum with objects or concepts of comparable magnitude and opposite magnitude, in the physical universe as it is known and observed. A lot more could be said on thinking.
I suggest you read the following books which have data on dimensions:
a. The oahspe. Available on line free in pdf.
b. http://www.revelatorium.com
c. Walter Russel’s books,.. in particular “The Universal One”. There is lots of data on dimensions in that book.
available at http://www.philosophy.org
3. In the bible Jesus is alleged to have said: In my Father’s house, there are many mansions.
One could assume that means dimensions, or locations to exist.
If you read those that would be a good start.
There are a lot more.
4. In a discussion if you are operating solely from the data on of one book or one source and I am operating from another book or multiple sources (as I am), it is an eristical discussion (a nonsensical discussion). Like a German talking to a Chinese, each in their own language and trying to understand each other, without knowing the other’s language.
To begin to make it a dialectical discussion you would first also have to read multiple sources.
More along the formula for understanding.
Dio
Dio, your advice is sound regarding evaluating information against knowledge etc. and not being hasty in over-valuing what you subscribe to. I started with LSD, Ram Das,kundalini yoga, tantric yoga, J.Krishnamurti, T.M. scientology, mechanistic materialism, Tibetan Buddhism, neo-advaita, and finally classical, old-school vedanta under the guidance of an enlightened teacher. This illustrious-sounding resume is no proof that I know the difference between up and down. What it does mean though is if I haven’t gotten the big picture by now all good advice is wasted on me. Talking with you is addictive but I don’t want to abuse this forum. Thanks for the discussion, we may well do it again.
Hi Roger,Just had to add I don’t believe you could abuse this forem.We all know what rock(hole) the abusers live at & in! a forever friend Ann Watson.
Thank you, Ann. What a lovely way to be.
Thank you Roger, Someone is screwing with my IPad as it won’t take my email. I wonder why? You are a beautiful being & I am so glad I can write you.Since blowing the SO in 1978 after giving my heart & spirit to the SO so much has occured. Colon cancer 19 yrs out, & breast cancer last yr.But I have beaten it all into remission & will always be the fighter I am. In The SO that I loved in the beginning,I could not see @ that time what was to come.Now I certainly do.However I keep pushing forward because my soul will not let me stop. I love Mike & was not sure I could do the blog, but I took the leap& got on it.In Truth, Ann Watson.PS Imam not sure if Imgot cancer from my weeks on the Excaliber ship which I loved although now I know was not Ll sunshine & roses.
Roger,,
I got a good chuckle from reading your reply.
A worthy opponent and a meaningful dialectical argument (discussion) is always appreciated and enjoyed.
It is a good start for this Sunday
Thanks
Dio
Hey, you under the radars out there. Anonymous needs you, LOL!
The list of ex-COS members speaking out is approaching 2,500 entries. http://whyweprotest.wikia.com/wiki/Former_Church_of_Scientology_members_who_have_spoken_out
Would be nice if we could have actually 2,500 entries when the Going Clear documentary is broadcasted on HBO at the 29th of March.
Please consider coming out of the woordwork. 😛 Of course it will have to be your choice, and yours only.
To qualify for the list we need proof of speaking out against the COS using your full name AND proof of having been in, such as Scientology completions ( http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/ ) or a well known ex to vouch for your.
Of course you may also consider sending your story to Mike so he can publish.
Let’s break RCS down under an avalanche of truth! 🙂
One more thing, David,
A few yrs ago, I learned to make my own home made sourdough bread too. No two batches are the same though. I make my own starter from sprouted rye or any grain. Makes very high energy bread. A slice of that bread is almost a whole meal.
I would love to come and learn from you. I am sure I would learn a lot.
Dio
Me too Dio. I would love to come learn to bake that kind of bread. I love to bake and cook. Internship, Dave?
Hey Dio and Cindy, I’d love to be able to show you guys around the bakery, and you can stay all night and see how we do it! That’s actually how I learned…visiting bakeries all over the country and staying all night.
David,
I will put that invitation on my list of things to do.
I may even bring a loaf of mine.
Cindy,
If you come to visit me, I will show you how I make mine.
From start to finish it takes me about nine days to make my sour dough rye bread.
A real labor of love.
🙂
Dio
David, I got to know you a bit in the early 80’s when I was posted in NY and would come to Philly from time to time. Jeff Battershall introduced us and I sold you, iirc, a Briefing Course and through OT 3 package. At least a little bit of the reg cycle occurred in LeBus itself, and I remember enjoying the meal and the bus. I think you came to ASHO to do your preps, but transferred the rest of the money to Flag.
From your story it appears that our meeting was a fairly minor event and that I was about a couple dozen reg cycles ago! (A hell of a way to measure time, but it will make sense to lots of public Scns.) You are off the hook if you don´t remember me.
I remember well your huge ARC for Scientology and for the Philly Scns. Although I was never schooled like you were, music was my life before Scientology and I was fascinated learning of your experience with music and choir.
So many people I remember from your story and much of it is similar to my own story, particularly your early services.
There are a few particular aspects of what you said that struck a chord (I think a dominant eleventh…) with me. This one particularly…
“And also, I’m sick of journalists and critics claiming that the OT-3 story is the central theme of Scientology, or the Scientology “creation story”, or that to be a Scientologist you need to buy it. It’s none of those things. To me it’s totally peripheral. I mean, Scientology is a big subject. Any benefits I ever got came from other parts of the philosophy, or from my early auditing, not from the OT levels. As for the Scientology creation story, check out The Factors, which I always liked”
Even the august Mark Rathbun was recently giving this a push at his blog recently, declaring the OT 3 story as a “core belief” of Scientology. It is only a core belief of the Scientologists to whom it is a core belief, and that is not really so many.
Dan, Of course I remember you. I actually think I remember our meal, and that you seemed saner than most regges. Obviously, I was right!
Yeah, often the OT3 stuff is used as a tool to ridicule scientology or scientologists who would “believe such nonsense.” I find it very irritating. It is a cheap and misleading way to degrade the subject. After all, there are so many valid criticisms!
Maybe someday we’ll meet again, Dan. By the way, you mean a dominant seventh chord.
Thanks David for sharing your history in and out of
Scientology. It also shows how easy it can be to get
into a cult and how long it can take to really extricate
oneself.
All the best to you!
David,
Your opinion of the bridge:
Bob Ross, joined scn in 1950 and Hubbard sent him to Isreal in Dec 50 with a stack of Dianetics books to start up an org there.
http://www.freezone.org/LRH/bob_ross.htm
Note: I was only in the cos for a few days in 97, before getting declared PTS. Basically for asking qual why if scn was so good, was there something obviously wrong with him? And when I was asked what I thought of DM in a video, I also said I think there is something wrong with him. They did not like that.
I did get a very good dianetics demo and got a good release for a few hours and I was hooked. But what I saw going on in the cos raised a lot of red flags and I began to question everything.
A few months later in Aug 97, I learned about the fz and connected with Bob Ross from his ad in the Free Spirit Journal for auditing services.
Bob was my first auditor after getting the demo.
He was good, I had very significant wins.
He developed his own process: “Logical Procedure Rundown”.
Bob passed away a few yrs later. I have a copy of the notes that he made that he wanted to leave to posterity:
Here is a brief summary:
He writes that in 77 , 13 yrs after completing the briefing course, in 64 he was still so uncertain of his grasp of auditing, as a result of invalidations, that he felt the need to go through a full internship to gain the certainty he needed to go into auditing professionally. He did it a DC org.
There is a list of 95 errors that he found in the tech material as he went through the 0-IV internship.
In 93 he writes that everyone in the fz should throw off the churches concept of “standard”.
And that includes to throw off “upper levels” as dispensed by the church. Because upper levels as administered by the church, have seldom produced uniformly good results and left many spectacularly disappointed.
He says that the only reason fz people are offering any levels above lower grades is based on money.
People should stop selling the bridge in any form.
He says to only do what needs to be done for each individual, and tell the PC to be himself.
Stop charging higher prices for higher levels of auditing and start charging only for the competence of the auditor, who is able to
produce good results faster than a less well trained auditor.
The price should not depend on what level of process is used.
And processes should not be determined by the status of the preclear.
There are also four typed pages of his viewpoints on what he thinks about auditing and how it should be done.
There are also ten pages of his notes on his opinion on how gpms should be run.
There are six of pages of “Error in the levels” listings.
There are ten pages of “Study Tech Confusions and missing data”.
It is an interesting body of data.
Dio
Wow! I knew Bob back in the 60s and long ago lost track of him. His words you’ve placed here show just how sane he was, taking (and using) the good, jettisoning the bad. Is there anywhere one can get a copy of that information?
thegman,
Yes, Bob Ross, was a sane, intelligent and rational man. I suppose that is because of his civil engineering education. He helped to set the tone for me on how to see the big picture of scn.
I loved the man.
In fact I may not even be alive today if I did not meet him and have him as my first auditor, other than my cos dianetics demo auditor.
Re: Bob Ross’ notes: I am thinking how I can get it on to the internet in pdf on of the fz scn data base sites and any where else I can post it. I am not a wizard in that kind of stuff.
I think such data is very important for posterity.
Dio
thegman,
You are one the two people who I met that knew Bob Ross.
What kind of man did you know Bob Ross to be?
How well did you know him?
What did he look like?
Big guy, small guy?
Roughly ……height? weight?
The image I got in my mind is he was tall and slim.
I want to know if I am right.
I have to assume that his rationale (sanity, and ability to do critical thinking) was due to his education in civil engineering.
Dio
OMG I laughed my ass off reading that!! Thank you!!
My story parallels yours in many ways.
Continue enjoying your life..( as if you need my permission) Lol.
You should seriously consider writing a book, your droll sense of humor is amazing.
Tony, thanks so much. I never thought I had much of a sense of humor, but i guess there was so much humor in what goes on, particularly within the idiotic world of scientology, that sometimes all you have to do is write down what happened and the humor is automatic. But I was hoping that someone would comment on the funny stuff….it makes me feel good to know I can be funny!
Hi David, nice write up and fun to read. It really shows very little is done by outside forces, the demise of Scientology comes from within. The insanity, the lies, the arrogance all this poison is killing the beast slowly but surely.
I think all we can do is to encourage by speaking out and sharing our experience so others can find the courage to finally openly speak and act their mind as well.
Thanks for speaking up.
Gerhard, there is no doubt that the demise is occurring from within. I wonder how much longer it will take for the curch of Scientology to completely fade from view. Thanks for reading my story and commenting.
Thanks for the write up David. The Scientology Story is long from over, what it looks like in a 100 years from now, who knows. I still find it very workable. Richard Hoagland is revealing images from space showing ruins in this solar system on other planets, stating a war broke out distroying this advanced civilization some 65 million years ago. He estimates a population of a trillion in the solar system alone. This has nothing to do with Scn. He’s an astrophysicist. In this video he shows a huge glass dome on the back side of the moon that the Chinese posted on their website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LQzZPnVgNk
iForrest, I am a David Icke reader and I totally accept that there is a dome on the other side of the moon. I will check out Richard Hoagland. Thanks
David, I am another one who would like to thank for the great article!
As regards David Icke you might also be interested in yet another David (making 3 of you! 🙂 ) – David Wilcock. Wilcock has a following of hundreds of thousands and hIs findings align with Icke’s as well as a number of other modern-day spiritual/truth teachers (I find it significant that the findings of a number of people all align).
Wilcock has a very popular blog where he presents some fascinating research relating to the moon, Mars and other locations in the Solar System and the Galaxy – all documented, yet squelched by the media. (Hubbard may yet prove to have been ahead of his time, even as regards some of his wildest data. Time will tell.)
Wilcock is also the author of two best sellers, including *The Source Field Investigations*, which made the New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-seller lists. Here’s a youtube vid of a lecture he gave, summing up his research findings (part 1 of 4 parts): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJCBmtXOPpw
“I asked him if he had received Debbie Cook’s email and he said he had. I asked him what he thought of it and he looked at me like I was an idiot and said “well I didn’t read it,” you know, once he realized that the contents were critical. I said “OK, let’s get this straight: Debbie Cook, CO of Flag for 13 years, who had gotten more people up the bridge than you’ll ever even meet, has something to say and you are not even interested?” He muttered something about how some enemy line had gotten to her. ”
Wow, this is also very fascinating. Even when handed 100% truthful, factual, highly informative reviews of everything that’s wrong with the Scientology crime syndicate, people will glibly fold it up, toss it in the trash, and convince themselves that NOT knowing the truth is some how in their best interest.
THIS is the consequence of “TR” programming, the inability for customers to be permitted to think for themselves is a direct consequence of the primate human behavior destroying activities of the TRs.
When you stare at another carnivore, you are attempting to fight or fuck or eat the carnivore. The Scientology crime syndicate subverts that primate behavior; you stop thinking, you stop feeling, you allow yourself to be subjected to behavioral modification so that when you are swindled for money, you hand it over *LITERALLY* without thinking.
Mdm Cook’s mini-documentary of what the stark realities of Scientology actually are is something that every Scientology customer and every Scientology ringleader literally is aware of, however they sublimate and subvert and suppress their own internal acknowledgement of the realities they are literally programmed not to accept.
Scientology steals people’s souls.
David, I did not have time to read all your write up, but what I did read I really enjoyed it. Very honest.
I like the part where you said you did TR 0 with trees.
That is intelligent.
When I did not have a twin, I did TR0 in the mirror with my self. I got at least as much out of it as with a partner.
But a whole new phenomena, a whole new layer of charge and aberrations came off.
Reading your write up, reminds me that I need to get back at it again.
I have not did much of it for a few years now.
And I now got a new idea on how to do TR0.
Dio
David, thanks so much for taking the time to tell your story here. I think the stories of people who have left, no matter where they are or what the circumstances, are important to the rest of us. I’m a never-in, but I KNOW for a fact that if Co$ had come my way at various times I would have fallen right in. And it’s good to be reminded that the people who go in are frequently extremely intelligent, talented people. (And it’s also good to see how their intelligence and talent was denied to the rest of the world, or even to themselves, because of this organization.)
My favorite part: that the way to get better at the piano is to PRACTICE. Wow. That’s such a fundamental truth about all skills! And we forget and want a quick way to perfection. Thanks again.
David, thanks for sharing your story.
When I got into Scientology at the Ft Lauderdale Mission in 1976, I experienced the same warm welcome from friendly staff members. I went clear on a correction list during life repair and attested without incident as those were the days when you could attest to clear instead of attempting to convince some skeptical staff member you had attained a state he had not achieved yet.
Within a year, the mission holders had been “declared” and disruptive visits from Sea Org members started. I was hooked on the idea of going up the Bridge and just ignored the bad news and the insane antics of upper management.
Fortunately, I kept my day job while going up the Bridge and I got through OT7 before being persuaded to become a mission holder. Scientology was getting stranger and stranger, but as a professional Grad V auditor, I was able to learn and use the technology and work through the arbitraries until 1995 when I resigned as a mission holder and returned to civilian life.
I have established several websites and a private practice to help Scientologists recover from their cult indoctrination and have been delivering services over the Internet for years now, seven days a week. There is life after Scientology and one can salvage some useful information from one’s Scientology experience as long as one is able to think for oneself.
I am happy to help anyone recover from their Scientology experiences. It is much easier than you might imagine.
David St Lawrence
David, It is great that you are able to help people who are getting out. I really did not suffer that much withdrawal as I drifted away, or after my declare. Of course, I was never on staff and I never gave up a full life outside Scientology. I do find, to a very large degree that even surprises myself, that I am addicted to news about Scientology, blogs, books, documentaries. I’m not sure why, but I’m like a junkie. Anyhow thanks for reading my story.
Dave, I wouldn’t worry too much about being a junkie for news of Scn. I think it is part of the decompression process. It will later morph into something else. I think just allow yourself to read and immerse yourself in it until you no longer feel the need to do that and then do the next thing that has to be done, all steps in decompressing and shaking the shackles of belief, false data, etc. And take with you and use well the parts that worked well for you. It isn’t all bad, so don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. But do allow yourself to do what presents itself to you for doing. It will all move you upward and onward eventually. The truth will set you free.
Great write up David…. we may have crossed paths in our similar times in scientology. I started in 1971 and my last service was OT V at Flag in 2005.
Very nice summation of your career in Scientology… much the same as mine, but you have a talent for writing and expression that surpasses mine…
I am in the “food business” too, I design equipment for food service companies, but I never lost 50 pizza restaurants to an SP. Ha, that was really very funny. This guy was the kind of talent that is attracted to and attracted by the IAS… straight ripp-off and straight lies to get money (fraud)…. The selling of auditing “services” is just a way to get the “pigeons” close enough to pluck clean with a big IAS donation. Fortunately, more and more people are recognizing them for who they really are: Crooks. The OT’s and good hearted people like you are mostly gone… only vultures remain. Good luck with your continuing business. Lebus has a nice website too.
Thank you Robert. There are so many faces that I would recognize from my days at Flag without knowing the name…maybe yours is one. Yeah, as soon as he said to me that he lost his 50 restaurants because he had an SP on the lines I realized he was a drooling Scientology robot-idiot. That’s not to say that I actually believed he had 50 restaurants in the first place. And thank you for your compliment about my writing.
Great story, David. Recommended to me this afternoon by Ron Miscavige.
Dan, seriously? I knew Ron from Philly org in the very old days. We weren’t good friends, but I guess I just saw him around. Does he read these blogs? Is Ron declared? Can you say hi to him for me?
Thank you for the great story. It is sad that it is the way that it is, really. I’ve heard it said more than a few times “If we just did the TR’s and left, all would be good”. But the money, time, heartache is all ridiculous.
“Then Philly Org got the good news that the 8 million dollar, 15- story building on Chestnut Street that we had found to be our new Ideal Org had been “approved by Int management” (thanks guys!). At the time it didn’t make any sense to me since the existing 2-story org building was pretty empty, but I wanted to help.”
Fascinating that people can look at an abject fraud like this, know that it’s fraud, and then go ahead and hand their money over any way. The human brain is fully capable of compartmentalization where people know something is a blatant criminal fraud and hand their money over any way.
Fredric, I think we are conditioned in government run schools and religious institutions to believe that authorities, governments, and people in charge in general know what they are doing better than us, and have our best interests at heart. Also, we are afraid of the consequences of any opposition.
Ha! That conditioning starts in the crib — when our parents are the trusted authority figures. If only I had known sooner how imperfectly equipped my own parents were to handle that authority, I would have rebelled when it really counted. I’m thinking that if I had the wherewithal to my dad to stuff it when I was 6 years old, I would have walked a better path.
David, the more you speak, the more I find you a soul brother. We track very similarly.
HGC10, that conditioning has ALWAYS begun in the crib. It was the same for your parents…and their parents, ad infinitum. The journey, to my mind, is to break out and change yourself, then refuse to “condition” your children too much. It’s a long and very slow journey.
Great story David ! Say, I think you are great at multi tasking! It takes a lot of talent to lose and win at the time and own it all, keeping the ledgers in good order at the same time. One is required to extend themselves. I’m impressed! I trust you will never be reduced to keeping one column on the math. Happy trails!
Oracle, Yes! You are very correct! I tried to keep the story focused on my life in Scientology, but keeping a business solvent throughout was a backdrop in all of this that at times was all-encompassing. You definitely got that. You must be a business owner….
I remember the 5th Avenue Mission well. Howy and Mary, Carol Gluchaki, Joe Gershberg, Rob and the others. It was a great place in N.Y.C. until David Miscavige sent his finance police in to shut it down as an “evil”. Now he has his Sea Org Members out body routing on Sunset Ave in L.A. because he shut down the Mission network in 1982.
Those were some good days and good people. We are lucky that we knew them.
Thank you so very much David, for writing and speaking out. You’re a good writer and I enjoyed reading your story. I can relate to many things you say about your early days. I’m happy you got through it and glad to hear all is better, knowing real happiness and having new freedom now.
Wonderfully written, highly entertaining, speaks for most all of us. Can’t imagine being able to bake European bread like you. A mouthful of hot, crusty, sourdough, slathered in butter is the only route out.
I’m happy for you and your family and friends.
What an incredible story, David! Thank you for sharing it with us. May your days, from this point on, be filled with much love, joy & happiness. I always thought the real ‘wins’ in scientology came as you walked out the door…never to return. But, hey, that’s just me…
I’m thinkin we need to get some of Davids garlic sour dough french bread ordered for the party OSD!
Plenty of sourdough here. And garlic too. And thank god I walked out the door
Well, since the Exes are responsible for the bread, we Anons will bring the caek.
Thank you for writing your story in such detail and it is understood. The good thing about it all is that finally you saw the facts of what the church has become and quit supporting it. That will help this criminal scheme to end once and for all.
I believe that will take place. And other such groups will take its place. I think it’s all part of the human condition and the fact that we live life learning lessons. Thus there have to be lessons to be learned. And, consciously or unconsciously, we choose the lessons we need to learn. Dave certainly came through shining. And, I’ll bet, a hell of a lot tougher than when he got in!
Great Write up Dave !
Getting kicked out of groups is not a bad thing, even religions.
Just means there is something better you have created for yourself more downstream.
I lasted one week in the very exclusive Explorers Club till I was thrown out..
As far as being declared,it’s relative to who is doing the declaring , I would not let that bother me,
I don’t think anyone can have a perfect life, Rudyard Kipling’s poem “IF” is something to reflect on.
Best of everything for you .
The Marine
So much good stuff downstream, yes, Jose?
Marine, Thanks for the compliment. As I was writing I was wondering if others would find my experiences interesting. And then I was worried it was too long. I will definitely check out “If” by Kipling.
David, that’s a very balanced view.
So true.
Thank you Brian. As I was writing I was trying to do my best to say what I really believe. I honestly don’t think anything is ever all black or white.
Roger,
Yes, indeed.
From a biblical pov;
Here are a couple examples of what’s missing from scn:
Some missing data from scientology:
2 Peter 1:5-8
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
And to godliness brotherly kindness;
and to brotherly kindness charity.
For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Galations 5: 22-23
The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, and temperance.
Without this data (stable datum) and others like it, no society, no organization can be sane, stable and sustainable for long.
Dio
David, you are an inspiration. You have manifested in your own life the argument I have been making on these blogs. You see both sides. And those both sides were arrived at through your own intellectual sovereignty: conclusions based on reason and direct experience.
Shalom Adonai, Namaste and God bless you brother. Thank you so much for your spiritual sincerity!!
Brian, I just read this comment now. Thank you. I must say i never considered myself a free-thinker or an intellectual, but more recently in life I have made the effort to be open to the viewpoints of others but to observe and evaluate and think for myself. If what I hear from others doesn’t fit what I am experiencing, then don’t try to make it fit. That’s what we always did with Scientology. Since Ron said it, it must be true, so how can I twist it to make it work?
Shalom to you too! David
Beautiful David, I completely agree.
We must be in integrity and honor what we know.
And directly experience knowledge.
To me, I honor that knowledge above all else.
Except maybe from teachers I trust. That can be a great knowlege. If they teach truth than the students learn truth.
Warm Regards,
Brian
Thank you for sharing your story, and welcome out from under the radar!
Glad to hear another success story. Congratulations on your new freedom David!
IM – “There is no God.” I’m curious as to what you mean by the word “God”. As I grew up, my parents let me go to any church I wished. And I went to many of them, listened, enjoyed, learned. I could never quite buy into the bearded and robed person with the halo around his head. But over many, many decades it is clear – to me – that there is “something”, some incredible intelligence, which was a/the source of what we experience today as “life” and the “universe.” Despite science, we still know only a very tiny bit about life. As Einstein said, “We don’t know one millionth part of anything”.
I meditate daily, sometimes twice. It’s one of the most calming, relaxing things I’ve learned how to do. And that calming has become more and more a part of my life. More fun, more love, more enjoying every moment. How does it get better than that?
One of the problems with Hubbard’s cosmology is that he leaves out what vedic scripture calls, “Iswara” which could loosely be called the “creator God”. Iswara is not necessarily to be worshipped (pleasure and meaning can be derived from doing so) but it provides an explanation for the nature of reality without which things just don’t make sense. Instead of a single agent, wielding cosmic intelligence, Iswara, Hubbard had thetans creating the universe. But if you contemplate the matter you see that the creation of a universe CANNOT be a group effort! You have to have Iswara and contrary to what Hubbard said, there IS a mystery and Iswara (or the mind of God) remains the eternal mystery.
Welcome out Dave and thank you for your story!
Scientology SUCKS and that evil cult does not deserve a talented, kind-hearted man like you.
LRH says – “SP’s get rid of their best people” (staff members are the exact words he said – but you get the drift). They lost another great man!!
Scientology is nothing but Suppression delivered by Suppressives and the weird thing is – they don’t even know it!
Do some research on Hypnosis, mind control and cults. The way out is to know how they duped you. There were mind controlling techniques used constantly. Hubbard gives up a lot of the clues – but when you read about the actual techniques – you will be blown away.
May I suggest to read anything from Jon Atack. Also, Mockingbird on EXSMB has some good stuff unraveling the mystery of how we got so hooked. Gib has revealed Rhetorical Writing on EXSMB and Arnie Lerma’s site also has a lot of stuff.
I did not buy the “hypnosis” due to what L Ron Hubbard said about it – but I found that he left out some key information – you don’t have to be in pain or unconscious for hypnosis to work. We are being hypnotized everyday whether we agree or not.
I have used hypnosis from You Tube and other websites and overcome some habits I could never overcome in Scientology. It works, it is free and it does not harm you. You have to agree to whatever you are “implanting” in your mind. That is why we all did to ourselves in Scientology – we self hypnotised with the study tech (wrapping your mind around the Scientology words and ideas so that they became the way we think).
Also – look into Buddhism. I think you will find your “TR phenomena” explained as well as everything about the benefits of meditation. The Dharma talks are very beneficial. Hubbard stole a lot from Buddhism (hence his claim as coming back as “Budda” – which makes me laugh out loud).
Look at the Scientology cross and compare it to the Rosy Cross. Remember – Hubbard said “Symbols are low tone”? I interviewed a bunch of old timers and none of them could draw the Scientology cross – NONE of them! I showed them the cross and then the Rosy Cross. Hubbard covertly kept his dance with the devil life out of view but wove it into Scientology.
He was good friends with Jack Parson’s and participated in some Aleistar Crowley (deemed the most evil man on the planet) Black Magic ceremonies trying to spawn a demon child or something crazy like that…read his affirmations and read up on how he destroyed his family (Jamie DeWolfe has a You Tube Video – Great Grandson). I do believe the “Scientology Flop House” was born out of Jack Parson’s house where Hubbard rented a room so he could practice OTO and Thelema.
All the best, big hugs from our family to yours!! WELCOME to sanity where “you know you won’t get any worse”.
I am happy you are on the side of the sane, free and able!!
Idle, thanks for this post. I have been reading everything Jon Atack has written, and there’s a lot, and watching all of his speeches. He is moving into the direction of general thought-control by hypnosis. Mockingbird recently put a Margaret Singer URL on the Bunker and I have now watched everything I can find by her. The cult experience, involving light hypnosis, is clearly quite common…not just a Co$ phenomenon. As you have noted.
Also, thanks for the mention of Buddhism. I agree, the direction of Buddhist practice is very revealing…about one’s inclinations to follow ideas or movements without critical thinking, for one thing. And about one’s ability to overlook the bad possibilities to follow another, possibly charismatic and narcissistic, leader. It’s much, much easier than we think. And we do it a lot, from hypnotic influences like TV, advertising, social propaganda, and so on. Jon Atack and Mockingbird both address this very clearly, as did Margaret Singer, and as do Kent and Lane, Lalich, and so on.
So thanks again.
You are welcome. I suffered for two years figuring this all out and once I had it – I want to shorten others road of decompression out of the mind fuck. I had 40 years prior to Scientology of “clear” thinking. The damage that cult did to me in just a few years was unreal. I thought I could never be brain washed. blush I was wrong!! But – that is okay. At least now I know!!
” I did not buy the “hypnosis” due to what L Ron Hubbard said about it – but I found that he left out some key information – you don’t have to be in pain or unconscious for hypnosis to work. We are being hypnotized everyday whether we agree or not.”
Amen to that IM. I venture out on a limb here but IMHO, when you want to believe something, and do so, even when the facts point out something different, then it is a good idea to check for some level of hypnosis. And if your life is not going as you had hoped………..well …………take another look.
I use a rule of thumb for my own spot checking: when emotions run high, a belief system is likely being challenged.Check for something given to you by another that you agreed with and re-examine. The OT levels come to mind!
Hi Idle Morgue, Thank you for your comment today. Actually last night I was thinking about exactly the persons commented on, & I wondered if anyone else had entertained the same thoughts.Mike, Marty & all who share on this blog are heros for me. In the golden years of this life I look back on how in literally one second, I totally absolutely HAD to join the SO with ASHO F in 1974. A recent blog showed a new SO recruitment poster & that got me thinking about the one that caused me to join. Way before computers these were printed blue on white accordion type fliers. On the front it said “Many are called but few are chosen.”The next page said,”Become part of the legend” with a picture of Ron on the Apollo. The next page said,”Join The Sea Org with that symbol.” On the back was one question “What do you think The SO is?”So right away I wrote ” An incredible Team of men & women who very much want to finish what we started so long ago” & that was it. Having only read Dianetics off I went to Hollywood.The next AM I was on the HCC doing 2 hr TR’s & bullbaiting.I am still a very sensitive dreamer & I really thought I was living the dream. I know now that all the letters I got each week from Ron & Mary Sue were not all by them, yet I do know that some were genuine. I feel blue now that I could not see 4 yrs later the dream turning into the black nightmare that happened for me. Thank you GOI. I think some of the physical & mental backflash I got was because in 74 we were paid $11.00 per week. Toward the end of my time that was raised to $16.00 or so.But the difference for me was I had given theSO 21k when I joined which was a lot in 74 for a 22 yr old & also my late Dad sent me 300 & 400 $ every few months that I had in an account at a bank on H’wood Blvd. That got around so SO members were always asking me for loans that were never paid back of course.My heart still cries for those still in who cannot see what goes on. I know now if I had stayed & endured the punishments I received my body would be long dead. Thank you David Braverman & all who post here.My love & hope the dawn will break for those still lost in the nightmare.Ann Watson.
Thanks for your post.
How I got hypnotized into doing the BRIDGE in Scientology.
I did not want to do the Bridge when I got into Scientology at all…no interest. I was already successful and happily married with normal problems in business and marriage. I got the book WHAT IS SCIENTOLOGY after a friend who got involved through WISE. I did not know anything about Scientology so I bought the book at a used bookstore – could not find it at a normal bookstore.
I was in apathy about religions, I had tried churches but never got into the weirdness that ensues when people try to form groups around a subjective belief system. There is no proof of anything – all religions are based on faith. Scientology took THAT to a whole new level of crazy. Hubbard promises science but Scientology is based on faith and belief. He traps people with money on account and family wrapped around the cult. If you disagree or complain – you loose your money on account and your family. NICE!
I was so blown away with What is Scientology that I could not put it down. I was not a religious person but I craved a group of spiritually minded people helping humanity. THAT book hypnotized me (through its lies and deception) and that book is what got me hooked.
After I left – I cried for days after I read Lawrence Brennan’s affidavit and realized I had been totally duped. He helped write the book so that L Ron Hubbard could have religious cloaking and tax exemption.
Dear Idle, Although I have never practiced meditation, I believe that the exteriorization I experienced at the very start would probably have been achieved more quickly and thoroughly had I tried meditation. I do not know anything about hypnosis. I don’t think I was ever hypnotized by TR’s or drills or auditing, but I think we were hypnotized figuratively speaking by the insular nature imposed by the group and the constant pounding that what one man said was gospel and the only means of salvation. What a trap. I was in terror of ever stepping out of line. Even my thoughts. To be honest, I’m still a little afraid.
David – I read about hypnosis and then tried some videos on You Tube. They really helped me especially when I felt depressed about being duped from Scientology and the damage it did to my life and also to give up some life long habits that no longer served me. It worked. I also meditate and study Buddhism.
I have such amazing results. I find it is everything Scientology promised but never delivered. There is no God – it is really about clearing your mind and getting in touch with yourself and the environment. It is all free too. I found a little center to meditate and I can do it at home.
I love to read the dharma stuff. It really helps me keep it simple and real, It took me two years, however, to even be able to do anything else. Scientology had fucked me up on that whole subject. I was a mess but can tell you that the mind is resilient and will bounce back. I am back to myself. I hope my experiences can shorten recovery. Much thanks to those that also shared what they did to recover.
Idle Morgue, I’m in such agreement with all you say.
Thanks for the reading recommendations. I’ve read Messiah or Madman (which both shocked me and gave me my grounding for which I’m eternally grateful), Barefaced Messiah and Going Clear. I’ve got Piece of Blue Sky (Jon Atack) on order.
I’ve taken note of the other books but am wondering if I even need to read more. I’m always listening to the videos on YouTube, many via Tony Ortega’s blog.
Brilliant, just brilliant!
Thank you Gimpy. It definitely makes me feel good to read that. It was really rewarding for me to remember things and write them down.
Re: Then one day there was a Sea Org mission in the Org and Rich was ordered to quit his job at LeBus to supervise days at the org as well. He refused. Then I was ordered, as a Scientologist, not to allow him to work at LeBus. I don’t think they had the authority to do that, but I didn’t know that then. I refused also. As a result they Comm-Ev’d me and Rich.
Lawrence Wright’s Going Clear says that it’s standard operating procedure that Germans be “routinely required to sign a declaration… swearing that they are not Scientologists…. Failure to sign means that companies will not hire them, trade unions will not admit them,they will not be permitted to join social groups, banks will not open accounts for them, and they are even excluded from sports clubs, solely because of their religion.”
David Braverman, I may have never read a better post-Scientology Inc. story from a braver man; thank you for sharing it.
Scientology Inc., through forced disconnection as well as comm evs for those still-in who want to stay connected to those booted out, is Scientology Inc. dramatizing. The lower condition that Scientology Inc. finds themselves in in Germany is the same one the mafia-like hoodlums are forcing their own to endure in cases such as Mr. Braverman’s.
I wish I lived in Germany – at least that Country protects its citizen’s from abusive evil cult’s. I thought I would be safe going into ANY Church in the United States.
Just think of the lies Scientology Staff members tell you about when you first get in and they regg you to “put money on account to secure your Spiritual Freedom because your reactive mind won’t want you to get better and will try to stop you from going free” (actual excuse fed to me by a young, clueless staff member and the endless signing of lawyer ed up contracts” (staff told me THE PSYCHS sent in sick people who then went crazy and they tried to sue Scientology. Everything is intended to trap, enslave and bankrupt you from your life, money, family and friends.
Now I know why we really signed the ” endless end of lawyered up contract ” and THAT IS PURE DECEIT AND FRAUD.
I trusted that I would be safe and that people would not be driven to insanity, bankruptcy, foreclosure, extortion, bribery and the shattering of families. I had no clue about the Religious Cloak until AFTER the harm was done.
Every human being on the planet needs to study up on Critical Thinking. Chris Shelton has some great videos.
The reason the CO$ is criticized is because of the flagrant abuses based on the fair game policies and activities of the CO$. Otherwise, let them believe in Xenu, the Easter Bunny or the immaculate inception. Who cares?
What counts is what people do.
Many here are aware what fair game and disconnection is doing to people who spoke about Scientology and criticize the practice with full right. I think it is the main reason the CO$ has to go.
Now imagine it is not an abusive cult fair gaming you but large parts of a government. Idle Morgue, let us see how much you would enjoy that?
Just because you took a Scientology course or read a book you are getting fair gamed by having your property taken from you, your job taken from you and people disconnect from you. That fair game is even more effective and devastating than any fair game the CO$ could orchestrate.
I am kind of tired of these experts that talk about foreign countries like Germany as if they knew it all and probably never got their asses out of their own county but have their judgment handy anyway.
Whoever justifies fair gaming practices of parts of the German government but decries the same fair game when committed by the CO$ is in my eyes a hypocrite and bigot.
The point is the abuses and if there are no good abuses and bad abuses. There are only abuses.
France and other countries aimed at the CO$ organizations while Caberta specifically when her attempts to curtail Scientology Orgs and missions failed in court changed her strategy to attack parishioners instead. She instituted even worse abuses on those of the CO$ .
That might be OK if you are fanatic CO$ enemy and believe the end justifies the means. But it also make you no better than that what you pretend to fight.
Caberta and Germany has done nothing to curtail the orgs or protect their citizens. Orgs were booming during her time, Hamburg leading the charge until DM cut Wiebke Hansen’s head off.
Nobody in Germany was protected from Scientology, what was mostly done was piling even more governmental abuses on top of the abuse already inflicted by the CO$.
I agree that Chris Shelton’s videos are very informative. I watched his video on critical thinking. It is tough but necessary to s be able to stand on your own two feet and actually see what’s in front of you and reach your own conclusions. We were trained to do the opposite in Scientology. I also believe that coercion, by any group, whether religious, or governmental, is wrong and will never work. The church “ordering” me to fire Rich will only reinforce my desire to keep him on, and similarly the German government attempting to suppress peoples right to practice Scientology, right or wrong, will only increase the church’s desire to fight on.
Gerhard –
What you say is correct. It isn’t just a problem with Germany and Scn. the ‘mechanism’ is the same as it has been for ages, that ‘an SP’ infiltrates, gains “agreement,” and warps things. To the SP all people are actively out to get him, so all are enemies, and their stripes make no difference at all, since all are lies to begin with. Anything which can be destroyed is a target, and targets are not limited to religions. The correct procedure to screen out people with subversive agendas is to run them through security procedures (the Co$ makes mockery of this, today). “A Scn” could be pro-government policies, and a non-Scn could be an American spy.
It all comes down to the individual. The most frustrating thing about Scns is the broad failure to realize that, and the tendency to instead adhere to “agreements.” There is little doubt that the engrams and traumas of WW II are still there, not just in Germany but all over the world as individuals reincarnate in different lands. No one can convince me that overts committed by Nazis are just going to “heal themselves” or that atrocities and injustices suffered by their victims are going to be “forgotten.”
Hatred and vengeance are the true enemy. There may be someone connected to Caberta who punched buttons to restimulate ‘the solution’ of classifying all individuals of an affiliation as “evil” – but there is so much group agreement it is difficult to overcome (e.g. “All Harvard graduates are smart” may be predominantly true, but is not necessarily always true, and there you have the foible of logic and also the “catch all” motivation which can get way out of hand when the right buttons of blame and hatred are punched), The “right way” to do things in warfare used to be to march in single file towards the enemy – and a lot of good men were shot because that was agreed upon. When someone came up with a better way. he probably got busted, the idea stolen, and then that became agreed on. It’s almost funny.
One virtue of the net blogs is that those who exit the church are more welcomed out, and helped, than persecuted. They’d be easy targets, poor guys, no friend in, no friends out, either! Gets deep there pretty quick: what is “a friend” and what is “trust?” Hubbard said that when you get into comm with someone, then DO something for him. That applies all across the board, and should be some basis for friendship and trust, but people can and do deceive, and people do betray. How is one to tell the differences? These are big issues which ultimately only the individual can resolve for themselves. Some people do too much, and come under suspicion for that alone.
Nickname, not sure I see it that complicated. I would take it with Matthew 7:15-20 (New King James Version): “You Will Know Them by Their Fruits”
No security procedures needed. Just good and honest observation.
The problem I see here sometimes in the US is that people have a very limited understanding of what went (and goes) on in Germany and based just on the hearsay ‘Caberta is fighting Scientology’ without further details and factual knowledge she becomes the white hat.
The point I try to make this is about principles, not terminals. If somebody wants to support the principles of basic human rights and has all the pertinent information one can neither support Caberta nor the CO$. They represent opposing terminals, but the same principles.
That is hard to understand for people who a) are used to friend/enemy think or b) lack enough data. But if one is really against the abuse of people one cannot admire the german politics in this regards.
Gerard, IMO you’ve got way to serious about what Idle Morgue’s remarks. I detected tongue in cheek but you’ve gone all literal.
Wow David. What a well written story. I feel like you have said all the things I would have said if I had made such an effort. And it left me smiling inside, which proves conclusively that you are NOT an SP! 🙂 Well done, very well done.
Simple, Thank you so much. I actually started writing a short note to Sara and Sheldon Goldberg. It turns out they are related to my girlfriend Isa through marriage, and she got me their email address and I wanted to write them a short note of support. As a way of introducing myself as a bonafide ex-Scientologist, I began to say a few things about my Scientology background, and I got so absorbed in it that i couldn’t stop. I guess it’s all part of the leaving routing-form, so to speak. trying to make sense of it all and get over the disappointment. I just tried to write what happened and how it made me feel at the time. By the way, I still haven’t written the note to Sara and Sheldon, so if either is reading this, I’m sorry.
David,
Great story indeed and very well written. So many parallels in the process of the gradual
disillusionment. Thank you!
I support that you keep applying what is useful in dealing with life and are staying positive.
You are very correct, coming out as you just did is THE most cleansing leaving routing-form.
Keep enjoying your life and you can’t go wrong 🙂
Greta
Hey David – I just read this. Our mutual acquaintance mentioned this to me last month – but then I never heard from you. Great to see you here!! Hope to meet some time.
Thank you David for writing your story and sharing it with everyone. I am very happy to hear that you are doing much better now that you are out of the Church of Scientology. I too am an SP along with thousands of others. The numbers just keep growing and growing. I am certain now that there are more SPs in the world than there are Scientologists so we are winning.
Dean, Yeah, I suppose the more valuable people (like us) that leave means that eventually they will be left only with the Frank from AOLA types. and good luck then. It’s sad, really. Thank you for reading my story.
2.5% social personalities in the cult and 97.5% antisocial SPs out here enjoying life. Maybe that is what El Con meant by snapping terminals!
Cool story. Good luck on the rest of your journey out.
P.S. Ron never envisioned an SP like me. Dave Miscavige and RTC envy my powers. Some say I could even close 50 pizza restaurants just like that.
Is that like the domino theory?
We’ll have to have a round table discussion about that!
Me and Ed will be where the hungry people go.
I knew it! Marc Headley has SP Super Powerzzz!!!
Hi Marc, Seriously, you were my first SP exposure ever! I don’t remember who the interviewer was or what station but it just happened one night by accident on an internet station. I heard the words Scientology and “blown for good” and got myself to leave the station on, but even though I was alone, I kind of went about my business and pretended not to listen, sort of, so I could claim in some potential future ethics interview or sec-check that it was on but I didn’t inhale, so to speak. But it’s good to know I started with a high-caliber SP. But seriously, you were majorly instrumental in me getting the idea that SP’s were not really all that bad. I definitely owe you some free bread. By the way, “Blown for Good” was a riot to read. Good luck to you and Claire with everything, especially the kids. I bet you’re a great dad.
LOLOLOL – “its good to know I started with a high-caliber SP” – that was priceless and YES – Marc is one hell of a fine SP!! 🙂
Great line David – the radio [put in your own choice of media] but I didn’t inhale! Let’s hope not many inhale the new super power multi-million dollar broadcasting studio you ex-friiend Dave is building 20 years hence.
And you are singlehandedly shutting down the Idle Morgues. Wait until the rest of us get up to speed.
Yo Dave,
It’s about time you got busy doing some more recruiting for OSA bots. You are going to need them good buddy. BTW, how were Your stats looking yesterday? Kinda POOPY? Not to worry, they will be getting a lot worse very soon!
Lol!
Kudos to you Marc you aéré a super duper SP. Lol
Thanks for your story David. It is like Mike said, an all too familiar one. I also started my Scientology career at the 5th Avenue Mission and was supervised by Julio – small world!
Hi Michael, I was there from 71 to 73. I didn’t know Julio was a supervisor…I just remember him as an auditor. I also remember that Howard Rower’s wife, Mary, was Alexander Calder’s daughter. I once was in their Manhattan apartment and it was full of mobiles.
I also knew Joe Pinelli. He became a Class VIII auditor and was my Interne Supervisor on the internship at ASHO after Flag ripped off Alan Praeger. I really liked Joe. But I guess now Joe has no auditor certs since GAT II has taken everyone’s certs and is making them retrain from the bottom up again.
Gives a whole new meaning to the term bottoms up.
Great story Dave, well done.
Dave, I was riveted to your story. Your great sense of humor and intelligence comes through so well. And I cracked up when you said that your life long ruin of wanting to play piano better was achieved by… drum roll…practice! chuckle. Read the book, “The Outliers” and it goes over that too. You are welcomed with open arms into the Indie world, or whatever you want to call it — the “Special Person” world.
Your coming out story confirms my suspicion, which is that the cream of the crop has left the building either through their own exodus or through their SP Declare.
But one question I have: why did the church let your Human Resources Mgr continue working for you even after your Declare? They usually do a full Black PR campaign on you even before you get your copy of the declare so that you can’t tell your side of the story. Seems like the church would have forced her to disconnect from you. Why didn’t they? In my case, they made everyone, including FB friends, and family disconnect from me and had been working on this black pr campaign even before I got my form letter in the mail about it.
Dear Cindy, Good question about Ruth. The answer is, well, I’m not really sure how she got away with it. Basically it never reached the awareness of upper level management and anyone else who asked she just told them to fuck off. And understand that i was very quiet. So she just flew under the radar.
And thank you for noticing what I wrote about practicing. Maybe if I had understood the simplicity of it I never would have started in Scientology, like it might provide a shortcut. Or maybe I wouldn’t have been walking down 5th ave that day. I would have been in my apartment practicing.
I never heard of “The Outliers,” but I will check it out.
Thanks Cindy…and thanks for reading my story.
“”One day later on that year, at the end of course, Molly told me she was joining the Sea Org and leaving right away. She gave me her bike as a gift, which I rode to school every day that spring. Later on I saw her name “Molly Harlow” at the bottom of the Board Technical Bulletins, and later it changed to “Molly Gilliam”. I wonder where she is now.”
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Search the document at the following link for “Molly”.
http://wiseoldgoat.com/papers-scientology/hubbard_non-lrh_turns_into_lrh.html
Looks like she was a good person, but she must have been declared long ago as she was associated with BPLs.
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Hi Vinaire, Yeah, I think I did hear something about that. The BTB’s were not written by Ron and eventually disapeared. Well, if she was declared, that’s good! Maybe she’ll read this. Molly, we’re looking for you! Do you still wear miniskirts? They are in large part responsible for my life in Scientology.
Welcome David. We have been waiting for you.
We may not agree about the work-ability of Scientology, but that’s the best part, we don’t have to. 😉 I feel strongly that as long as no one is being harmed, believe what you want.
The abuses, crimes, lies, disconnection etc. of Co$ is what we all have to focus on. They are why we are here.
I am very happy to hear that you’re doing well and living a beautiful life. May happiness and light continue to come your way.
Dear Nola, Thanks for your wishes! I am certainly in agreement with your goal of putting a stop to the crimes committed by Scientology organizationally. As far a me being helped by the philosophical principals of Scientology, I suppose it comes from the fact that growing up in Conservative Judaism, all I was exposed to was meaningless ritual…very little spirituality or technology for life. So It was all new for me….even just the realization that I am a spiritual being. And best of everything to you!
David, what an exciting story. To corroborate part of your story, Howard Rower is (was) a personal acquaintance of mine. He was declared an SP by the Miscavige regime in the early 1980’s and the mission he held closed. After he was declared he invited me over to his office on Hudson Street. I eventually stopped by there to see him. He and I were both shocked by his SP declare. You could not have met a nicer man. He died in 2000 and his wife Mary Calder just recently passed in 2011. I also worked for HCO NY FDN at the 5th Avenue Mission on loan. But like any Church of Scientology whether new or old management, I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there and get the hell away from those people. All I wanted to take with me was the tech, my eternity and anybody that wanted to share it with me. I found the internet can be a place of great sharing. 🙂 The next time I am in Philly (my sister goes there a lot, David Miscavige is from there [yee gads]) I am going to stop by and try some of your famous bread! 🙂
Hi Lawrence, Thank you for your post.You state points about leaving the cos so very well.It can be a small world as you mentioned Mary Calder. I’m originally from Boston, MA. My late Dad & Mother were married 23 yrs & then split a year before I joined The Sea Org @ ASHO F. He then married 3 more times & his last wife was Alexander Calder’s niece Nan. Much younger than he & did him the favor of bilking him out of millions & leaving him flat when he came down with end stage Alzheimer’s, I’m sure Mary was of much better character! I love Mike & all of you who know about the years of The SO & dm& cos after I blew.I was in 74-78. Take care Ann Watson
A new definition of an Operating Thetan
An OT is somebody who learns to survive by using Scientology technology to suppress others. The notable OTs are L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige. Case wise, an OT is PTS to his own beliefs. But his condition can be handled with mindfulness prescribed by Buddha.
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A new definition of Suppressive Person
An SP is one who opposes the desires of, and runs afoul of, OTs like L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige.
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I think an ‘sp’ is someone who tries to think for themselves and who gets tired of being a cash cow for the mOrg. Dave Bravernan needed the structuring of thoughts that the clampire provided. Eventually, he decided that his own self interest and conscience required some soul searching and research outside of the bubble.
Some day he may make the connections between ‘though stopping’, ‘cognitive dissonance’ and the light hypnotism that is auditing. Braverman has made some of these connections, so I think he’ll be alright. At least he kept his business and family. That is better then many. I rather like his characterization of OT3 and being irrelevant to the actual workings of $cientology. That shows the level of cognitive dissonance that is the EP of $cientology. Continue healing Dave, Life is so much more fun when you’re not yoked to Lron’s wagon.
Having studied and used hypnotism long before I ever heard of scio, I disagree re “light hypnotism that is auditing”. I, too, had some terrific gains in the earlier days prior to the 80s when I saw the serious changes that were taking place and took my leave. I can’t speak for what auditing is currently, but patting Dave on the head for his views and thoughts does not do him any favours. The changes I got are very much still with me 35 years later. One of the major ones I had was that what I got from my auditing were MY wins, and did not belong to Hubbard nor the auditor, CS nor anyone else. I also watched others make major positive changes in their lives…and then leave. I consider scio to be part of my adventures through this lifetime and the friends I made, alone, more than worth the journey. And truly do not give a damn what others may say. Well done, Dave. Keep on winning in whatever way works for you and ignore the naysayers.
Just out of curiosity, oh insightful one Vinaire, how much money do you think Miscavige has invested to force people to make the associate: Miscavige = Church of Scientology = Scientology = L. Ron Hubbard? And you bought it. Tch, tch.
Vinaire, I love the fact that you can speak freely on this blog as you’ve just done about LRH without anyone jumping on you telling you that you’ve violated some moderation policy and that you’re an LRH basher.
I love the freedom of speech and the actual application of the Creed of the Church rather than giving it mere lipservice.
This is a grown up’s blog, thanks to Mike. Thanks, Mike.
And, Vinaire, I love what you’ve said because for me it is so true.
There is a difference between freedom of speech and unfounded insults, just as there is a difference between the truth and lies, just as there is a difference between a handshake and a slap in the face. The ability to tell the difference is part of what distinguishes an individual, and the lack of that ability makes him a fool. Freedom of speech is given wide margins of allowance, because men are uncertain at times, but it is better, I think, to qualify one’s uncertainty as uncertainty, just in case one is wrong, better to question than to condemn. I’m sure there are people who’ve said the same thing better than I have.