Hot off the press. A Special Correspondent sent me some shots of the new Advance Mag that arrived in his/her mailbox.
It is an epic and monumental edition with news that of vital importance to every scientologist.
They found a bird.
If that isn’t OT I don’t know what is…
Well, maybe this?
They heard two car alarms!
And talk about 64X expansion.
They had 5 people complete OT III in the past 3 months (or maybe 6?)…
What an epic and monumental demonstration of massive, straight up and vertical expansion that page is. In the IDEAL AOLA.
Wow. Mindblowing.
And you will note that every completion on this page is counted as an “OT Comp”….
Why do they keep shooting themselves in the foot by publishing these lists?
Simple, LRH said they had to send out magazines and policy says that the completions page is in every magazine. So they put it in and send it out.
The sheeple have grown so accustomed to it they apparently no longer notice the horrendous disparity between this and what they hear as the “great news” at every event they attend.
mark marco says
If there is an OT in the audience please find my car keys,
(I’m late for the show)
Ann B Watson says
Hi Cece,Thank you so much,I got your email.I tried to reply back to your email,but I was blocked.Please know I am taking every bit of your light and love,along with T.J. and anyone else that wants to send some good stuff.If all the lights in the OR blow,before the generators kick in,we’ll have a party!??XO Ann.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Marc Headley, I loved your post regarding airports! And OT Powers are always in use in those bathrooms! Thank you Marc for a good laugh! Loved your book too!love,Ann.
Gus Cox says
Dave needs to re-write the EPs of OT: Cause over car alarms and budgies.
robert lannon says
Hey Co$, I’ve got a bird for you… Almost fourteen months since my wife (The Co$ member) passed away I got a call from her friend, very uncomfortable. Wanted so badly to tell her that the Cal Mag,Niacin and all the other shit Co$ recommends had probably negated the effect of her lisiniprol (sic) meds and shortened her life by who knows how many years… Her Mom still going well at 93 and her Dad passed at 91…. All I want to say is F— Co$…
Ann B Watson says
Hi robert lannon, Nice to meet you and I do not blame your feelings one bit!I am really sorry for your loss.Take care,Ann.
Anon says
Mr. Rinder.
Have you ever thought of Disqus for your comments section ?
This is kinda lame, and it is a shame because you do have a cool blog !
Espiando says
You consider this comment system lame, and you recommend Diksuq? Nice troll. I never thought to go in that direction.
Never in says
Opps I should have written OT 2-4 not OT 1-3 sorry.
Never in says
Please forgive me if this is a silly question but as a never in who has been following for years I am curious. I have always read that it takes a long time to complete the OT levels. If this list is of completions from the past 3 months how did one person complete OT 1 -3? Thanks
greybiscuit says
Kinda sad. I’ve been off staff 21 years and was on staff 15 years at SFO. In the OT V completions are Eric Stratton who was the SSO (person in charge of staff if I am remembering my acronyms) and Sergio Rojo right underneath him on the list has been kicking around since shortly after I became staff. So we are talking about 36 YEARS to get to OT V for these gentleman. Pretty sure Eric was at least clear 36 years ago too. 36 YEARS.
Mike Nimble says
So someone else found the bird but that’s a win for the New OT VII.
Imagine what OT IX will be like! You might get the ability to write a sign yourself. “Lost. One bird. If found call 555-PTS-BIRD”
Kathy H. says
Kind of off topic, but there is an article (posted today) on the Hollywood Reporter site about CoS pressure on Oscar academy members, they are desperately trying to stop Going Clear from winning that Oscar…It’s sad to think that they actually think these tactics might work!! Amateurish and embarrassing!!
Gus Cox says
I have a couple friends who are Academy members. I’ll have to ask them about it. If it’s so, that’s such a huge footbullet – typical!
exccla says
I had a finch who lived in our back yard for several months. we fed him and we had some interaction with him. I named him peter afterthe actor Peter Finch. One day he never came back from his afternoon flight and I thought he may have gone south with his friends. Today I cognited that he was here because we were ot 7. Now I realize he left bacause we never redid all our auditing. Too bad.
Mike Nimble says
Seems like the bird is the real OT.
Shane Fire says
A quote from Advance ! issue 26 (circa ’74): The Hymn of Asia book is a historical turningpoint and ranks among “…such books as the Suttas (discourses) of Buddha, the Gospels and Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health. … Now with Hymn of Asia. An Eastern Poem, we have another book of the highest magnitude”
gayle says
Wow you really blew the lid off with this post Mike! If I’d thought I was going to be a superhuman from OT levels I’d be bitter and making nothing of the OT levels right along with everyone else here! I didn’t buy into that idea and so will appreciate what I did get from them which does include not being embarrassed by doing them or saying so to everybody who doesn’t believe there’s a benefit to be found in them. 😉
Gary says
Hey Gayle I hate to break this to you. But that is the shit L Ron is selling.
Gary says
And that volcano in Hawaii wasn’t here 75 million years ago. He’ll Hawaii wasn’t here then either.
Gary says
I meant hell not he’ll dam auto correct.
Old Surfer Dude says
And you meant ‘damn’ not ‘dam.’ Unless, of course, you’re into beavers, Gary.
Gary says
Thanks OSD
Gary says
I hate auto correct. On my note 4
Gary says
My note 4 hates cursing.
Tim-S says
Finding your keys is easy. They are always in the last place you look, so look there first. Shizaam!
Myrklix says
Wow!!! Are you giving away your OT powers just like that?
mark marco says
thanks, they are still missing I just don’t understand it oh for the love of dam beavers
thetapotata says
I remember going to an event where the very first OT VII complete gave a talk. Her name was Betty Felisky and she was on a world tour. One of her wins was thinking about a rainbow then one manifesting a short time later. I found many years later that she had cancer and died at age 57 two short years after the tour. I wish she would have been able to manifest a cancer free body instead. She seemed like a delightful person.
Ann B Watson says
Hi thetapotata, Nice to meet you.Thank you for another post on those that passed too soon from cancer.Manifesting a cancer free body is something that I feel can become a trap of not allowing the person to view their body as something that needs tune ups as in medical,dental tune ups etc.But I understand where you are coming from.My fights with cancers are a reality I fight with each day,I refuse to let either one have the last laugh!My best,Ann.
thetapotata says
Hi Ann, I like your resolve. Praying/Postulating you cancer free!
Ann B Watson says
Hi thetapotata, Thank you so much! I will take all the light and love in this fight I can get!XO Ann.
Overrun in California says
I was there. She said she was so happy, she created a rainbow. I remember thinking “make one now” . Of course she didn’t. Seems like these OT phenomenon’s only happen when it can’t be documented. “Oh, I can go exterior at will”. OK, cool. How many fingers am I holding up behind my back? Angrily “I don’t do parlor tricks”!!. I actually had an “OT” tell me that after he told me he was a cleared theta clear. I asked him to create an illusion I could perceive. A cleared theta clear should be able to do that by definition.
Oh well, I tried. I’ve never seen any OT abilities in my 40 years “in”. I’m not saying none of these things will ever be possible, just saying I’ve never seen it. And the Amazing Randy still has his $ mil.
McCarran says
I do have to say that Betty Filisky programmed and C/Sed the best auditing I ever received from the best auditor I ever had, a Class IV named Patty Cook. Patty split the scene in the late 70’s I believe. Good for her and Betty split the scene altogether.
Ann B Watson says
Hi McCarran, Thank you for filling me in about those I read about here,but may not have first hand knowledge of.I appreciate your posts.Ann.
Observingsandiego says
Thanks to my wins on the OT levels, yesterday I was riding my horse and I thought – it’s time for him to go home and poof he went right home. Of course it was feeding time and one of my students walked him home but still.
Observingsandiego says
I’m not trying to be sassy about the tech or invalidate anyone’s beliefs by the above statement, it’s just making fun of the ridiculous stories in advance. 😉
Gimpy says
Shows how a bit of careful editing can make a story sound far more ‘miraculous’ than it really was.
grandeclectus says
The cosmic budgie bit had me on the floor. They really noax themselves.
Budgies are sprinters, not long distance flyers. While it’s possible for one to make it some distance out of the neighborhood, it is more likely the little guy would have an “oh crap” moment and freak after realizing his source of food and safety was no more. Keeping an eye out for an escaped bird doesn’t require super powers. Recognizing friendly faces would bring him home.
This is the same false connections people use when saying “I had a headache, so i took an aspirin and prayed and Jesus healed me.” It also works for “The Secret”, positive affirmations, astrology, and psychics. We see the hits and forget the misses. Charlatans have been using that human weakness since the dawn of time.
Tone 4 Society says
I’ve actually popped above 40.0 on the Expanded Tone Scale and above Know on the Know To Mystery Scale due to the witty, funny and great posts today.
As an earlier Poster said which is a quote from Charlie Sheen: winning…..
zemooo says
When the alarm went off on my Mystery Machine for the 3rd time, I turned the darned alarm off. Then Scooby and Shaggy could sleep through the night.
The comment in the article about becoming ‘operating Thetan’ in OT3 is hilarious. Should it not really remind you of a Star Wars ripoff? Ok, Lron wrote OT3 before Star Wars, but still, the story of Xenu smells like some early 1950’s movie serial.
How many of these ‘completions’ are for the 3rd time?
lynnfountaincampbell says
Exactly what I was wondering zemooo. Not only do they get the money once, twice, and three times. They also get to count the “completions.”
FOTF2012 says
Evidently, Scientology training and auditing does lead to a real ability. It’s called magical thinking. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_thinking
Mark Marco says
Thank you first for addressing the phobia surrounding homosexuality embedded in the doctrine of the organization, firstly, and secondly I admire your administration in the decision to close the Comment section of the blog today due to the lack of civility all-too prevalent here and the volitile nature of the subject matter, again thank you and… What? That’s not today? Today it is about the bird, right. Sorry. I will hold my comments until then, and of course I wouldn’t go for the cheap chuckles. -your friendly neighborhood transgender, mm.
Mark Marco says
ps
what did the little bird say?
cheap cheap…cheap
Ann B Watson says
Hi Mark Marko, So for today if you spy a great snowy Egret on the headlands looking out to Sea,that bird came from me!XO, Ann Always…
Observingsandiego says
Hahaha I just spit my tea out.
Old Surfer Dude says
Uh, yeah, I know! All over me!
Observingsandiego says
Hahaha sorry OSD, I couldn’t help it…
Old Surfer Dude says
I know! I spit out my coffee…
mark marco says
you clowns are killing me 🙂
WhatWall says
Mr. Rinder, I bet this article causes changes in the Completions page of the next Advance! mag. Perhaps it will now increase in size by including completions for the past 10 – 20 years. Or the list will grow by including hundreds of fictitious names. The Advance! editor may be sacked too, although a shortage of staff may make that impractical. As evidenced by this and the other effects you create, you, sir, are an extremely OT SP! 🙂
Marc Headley (@blownforgood) says
I was just at the Nashville International Airport and went into the mens room. After I used the urinal it just flushed all by itself! I knew I was special but this was amazing. After I walked up to the sink and went to wash my hands, the water turned on BY ITSELF and even the soap came out BY ITSELF. I was able to wash both hands without even touching a thing! This was truly a magical experience and I cannot wait until i get to Denver and try out my powers on the bathroom there.
The power of my postulates are out of this world! I can control small amounts of liquid with ease in public restrooms.
M.H.
Mike Rinder says
🙂 🙂 🙂
Mark Marco says
Shiver me timbers!!
(Blown for Good)
🙂
Old Surfer Dude says
I knew it! I knew it! It was just a matter of time: The Church of Marc Headley is finally here! OT powers are not, in fact, a fig newton of my imagination! Marc! I want powers like yours! Were you able to walk through the airport without running into anyone? That’s the power I want! OT powers are alive and well in Colorado! Let’s hit the road folks!
threefeetback says
Marc,
You’ve gone High Tech.
Old Surfer Dude says
My favorite kind of Tech….
McCarran says
🙂
Old Surfer Dude says
I knew you’d like that, Mary! One love, one heart, let’s get to get together and feel alright (Bob Marley).
Cindy says
funny! LMAO Marc.
I noticed on the comps that the same names were over and over on each list, so it is a few people moving through each OT Level and being named and counted on each one. And I recognized some 2nd generation Scns. It is not new people doing this.
Nezquik says
Wait, you too?
I had that exact win too; it’s amazing how consistent the EPs of Standard Tech are. I’m so glad COB purified the squirrel tech and made it exactly the way LRH intended.
Observingsandiego says
Marc! I just bought and read your book last week (I know I should have done it a long time ago), I have you to blame for staying up until 3 and reading the whole thing in one sitting. Great book and thank you so much for sharing your experiences with all of us. I’m glad you are out, I’m glad you both are out here in the wog world. You and Claire are truly brave, inspirations to all of us and I wish you both happiness and success in your lives.
And that toilet flushing is amazing, I can wait to finish my OT levels so I can flush on command as well- avoiding those public bathroom germs is a must. 😉
T.J. says
Ha! Marc Headley can control liquids, lol. I was just reading your book “Blown for Good” again last night – it’s one of my favorite books, funny, compelling, you’re a good writer. I’ve given several copies as gifts to friends and family members, and recommended it to many. I wish you would write a sequel. And where’s a book by Mike Rinder? I’d buy that.
Ann B Watson says
Hi T.J.,Well where is that book by Mike Rinder?(big smile) with all he does,but I will buy many copies of it! Read Marc Headley’s amazing book too loved it.I just found out I have to go back in for eye surgery on 10/14. This fancy lens implant I did rotated right when it should of rotated left.Get that word clearer stat! Send me some light and I’ll be off with the IV’s again.Getting older is a b—–! Always Love U and your family.XOAnn.
T.J. says
Ann B. I am sending you all my best wishes and positive thoughts… much love always 🙂 – T.J.
RogerHornaday says
A bird flies off but stays nearby through the mighty power of thought and happiness triggers a car alarm twice! Before we break out the Dom Perignon and celebrate the proof of OT, it’s equally possible we have a clairvoyant bird and an enchanted car alarm.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Roger Hornaday, Your post was it’s own magic! Don’t forget the little tea cakes and that brown bottle that said drink me to Alice and she did! Like me when I joined Sea Org here Ann sign this contract for one billion years.Signed and swallowed in one gulp! Love,Ann.
Observingsandiego says
Ann! There you are! I just asked mark m on yesterday’s blog if anyone knew where you were… Was worried you might be feeling under the weather… I hope you are having a great day and that it’s a good day health wise! 😉
Ann B Watson says
Hi Observinginsandiego, It is really me,thank you for thinking of me.Sunday was a bump in the road for a bit health wise and I was blocked from Mike’s Blog by folks who have quite some time on their hands! I could read comments,but could not post back.But glad you know,that Mark would know if something was very amiss with me,but so I appreciate you.You posted a great post regarding horses.OSD and I both rode for years,not knowing each other then.He worked with Champion Arabians on the West Coast and I had an Arabian Palamino Quarter horse that beat the pants off of the fancy school horses in and around Boston.Had to stop all that years ago because of osteoporosis so I can enjoy your horses through your posts.OSD can tell you more about his horse time,I just know the ones he worked with were gorgeous! Love Ann.
Observingsandiego says
We have several Arabs, my business partner is partial to them – I have grown to love them but am a quarter horse girl at heart… I’m so glad you are ok, I was worried – if you ever need anything at all please feel free to contact me (piyxis423@aol.com, email me there and I can give you more info).
Observingsandiego says
And OSD, you have been holding out on me horse wise..
Old Surfer Dude says
Yep, I used to bred and sell pure blood Arabians. It was from a Polish line. This was back when I was ‘still in.’
mark marco says
hey there OSD II,
you make a ellofa wingman, thanks.
-mm
Ann B Watson says
Hi mark marco, OSD and OSD2,are the best wing spirits going! And of course you fly ahead of us all.XO Ann.
mark marco says
could not fly anywhere without you
where would we be without you
Ann B Watson says
Hi mark marco, Well most of the time I am lost in space!You allow me to stay grounded,which for me is not easy.Where would I be without all of you!XO Ann.
RogerHornaday says
Hi Ann, LOL! I do remember a little Dianetics book that said, “believe me” and a billion year contract that said, “sign me”. I was very suggestible at the time and went down the hole like a jack rabbit. I met the whole outlandish Wonderland cast of characters. I was in fact one of them!
Ann B Watson says
Hi Rober Hornaday, A post that resonated with me.In sixth grade I was not happy when I had to play Alice in my school’s production that year.I was not into theater and did not want attention.The point being we had studied Louis Carrol that year and knew that the real Alice was dark haired and dark eyed.That fit me so I had to play her.Who would have thought only nine years later,there I was diving into The Sea Org world just like Alice.XO Ann.
mark marco says
You know, Alice is a very special hero for me. She falls down that hole and even as she goes down, unable to hold anything in the void and completely at the mercy of some unseen gravity she says to herself, albeit cautiously, “I’m alright.”
Roger, I’m so glad you came back. Ann, hello.
Hello again to all.
Ann B Watson says
Hi mark marco, A big hello and a big hug back.Blue sky here today and suddenly lightning and thunder! Like Alice Through The Looking Glass,lightning and sunshine stir up a lot of energy.Ever,Ann.
Observingsandiego says
See magical thinking post above by fotf. Ha!
Observingsandiego says
The above post did not end up where it was supposed to. Not I’m not sure where it went but oh well.
John Locke says
I researched a way to have god like powers FAR in excess of what scamology produces. As proof I present one of my accomplishments. About 3 years ago I spotted a very large asteroid on eventual course for Earth. While it was still in the outer solar system I nudged it off course. View the result of my power here: http://gizmodo.com/5942503/amateur-astronomer-spots-massive-explosion-on-jupiter
Ann B Watson says
Hi John Locke,Here are three huge VWDs to you.Your power is orbiting the earth as I post!Always,Ann.
Old Surfer Dude says
Hey you poser! That was me!!!! Why you tryin’ to steal my thunder! I was on Jupiter when it happened! Where were you?
Overrun in California says
I think I saw you there OSD. Wasn’t that you who almost got run over by a train? Or was that Venus?
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh…You’re good OSD2! Real good! You are correct, it was on Venus, and yes, LRH was nearly hit by a train. A freight train I might add.
mark marco says
i believe Jupiter is my planet,
hate to be pushy about it.
Ann B Watson says
Hi mark marco, Jupiter is your planet? I’ve been hanging around there many times!So where do we meet?! XO Ann.
Observingsandiego says
There is enough room for both of you to take the credit, although OSD, John claimed it first and therefore he gets to take the public credit and name said asteroid. But we will acknowledge you both here. 😉
Old Surfer Dude says
Awwwwwwwww shucks! John! I’m proud to be standing here with you! You ARE one funny man! And I’m proud to be part of this incredible blog…. don’t get me cryin’ now…
mark marco says
ditto
the above,
something even more thoughtful for the following, JL, who defies description but i will risk it:
the virtually golden gospel standard of credibility, although loves to be hated we (sorry, I mean “I” ) can’t help but love so help me, That JL, also makes me proud to be part of this blog. Kleenex please.
John Locke says
OSD, you MUST be a “hater” as you are challenging my claims. 😉
Old Surfer Dude says
Damn! I’ve been exposed! You know me so well, John…
SILVIA says
The longest completion list is OT Eligibility; wonder if they have a new extended, extra long GAT II Eligibility, otherwise how will they get ‘income’?
Old Surfer Dude says
I remember clearly that issue of Advance! magazine when I was on staff. Of course I lapped it up. I actually sent out letters to orgs everywhere to send me all the back issues of Advance! that I didn’t have. Can you say ‘brainwashed.’ That was me!
However, I do have a similar win as the one posted by Mike.
I’m currently not on any level in scientology. However, I heard a lot of noise two doors down where they raise rhinos. I knew instantly as people ran screaming away, that something was amiss. Using my OT eyesight and my OT hearing, I walked around the block looking for the rhino. My OT eyes spotted him in a park. My OT ears heard a very slight noise that wogs would not have heard. It was the rhino calling out to me. We got in comm telepathically. He told him he just needed some space from the female rhino that was chasing him around the pen. I acked him and told him I understood completely. At that point, he relaxed. I walked over to him and asked him, “How’s it hangin’, rhino?” He indicated that he felt much better after meeting me (well, who wouldn’t?). I told him I live just two door down from him and would come to to visit him often. He smiled at me. Since he was a rhino, I told him I better put leash on him so the people who climbed up tress could now come down. He agreed. We had a very nice walk home and the rhino ‘friended’ me on FB.
Mike, all of my powers came about from reading your blog so I just wanted to acknowledge that. Reading your blog has also made a much better surfer dude. I’ve realized that walking around my block, I’ll actually see things! I mean REALLY SEE THINGS. I’m just so blown away right now. I’d also like to acknowledge all the posters here. You postings have made me what I am today! An Old Surfer Dude.
Whew! I’m completely exhausted now. My OT mind just reminded me to take a nap…..
Ann B Watson says
Hi OSD,A wonderful post.This AM I had birds on the brain because of the lost birdie in the Sucess story.So I’m drinking Kona coffee and picturing birds and out of the patch of blue sky,a huge great snowy Egret swoops down and walks across the front lawn,right under the kitchen window.Sruts is more like it.I sent him light and love and he went off looking for fish for breakfast? Where is my OT Cert,I have been waiting for it these many years! Laughter and love to you 2.Ann.
Ann B Watson says
Hi OSD,This spell-kill,Struts I meant.Ann.
Old Surfer Dude says
Hey Ann B! Don’t bogart that Kona coffee, my friend, pass it over to me…………
Ann B Watson says
Hi OSD, Oh would that not be a blast! Sitting around with you and yours drinking Kona coffee,laughing and planning the next Adventure! Heaven.Love,Ann.
Tommy J says
Okay, OSD, I just read your post to my wife out loud, and I wonder if your OT eyes can see all the food that came flying out of BOTH of our mouths! You influenced my 2nd Dynamic! wooo hooo!
Old Surfer Dude says
Glad to be of service with the 2D. That’s what I’m here for.
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh! Your pictures will be ready tomorrow around 2pm, Tommy J.
Sandy Duncan says
I had an OT win. I was driving around town looking for a parking space and I thought to myself, “I’ll use my OT powerz and find a parking space!” and right in front of me, I found one, a fucking parking space! WIN!
Old Surfer Dude says
You mean this was a special parking space where you have sex? Wow! I lean something new everyday: A fucking parking space. Now I’ve heard everything. If you don’t me saying, that’s pretty ballsy to have sex in a parking space. You’ll certainly get an audience…..
Tone 4 Society says
I have always wondered why a find more available parking spaces now that I’m and “SP” than when I was an “OT”.
Mike Nimble says
Better write up some KRs on those parking spaces.
Tommy J says
That is so THETA!!!! I can’t wait to get up to your level on Da Bridge so I can find parking spots too!
Old Surfer Dude says
On man! Count me in! I mean, sure we paid an ungodly sum of money to the church, but, PARKING SPOTS!!!!! I mean, how OT can you flippin’ get! Where’s the L.A. Times when there’s a real story to tell! Man, I can’t wait to get some parking spots….
Jose Chung says
Car alarm , Hello , near the Complex is the highest number of
car thefts in the USA.
Bird comes back, it was hungry DUH !
Ella R says
I saw that finding the bird story on an episode of Laverne and Shirley once
OTD-OUTTHEDOOR says
That shrew wench Shirley was on lines at the Milwaukee org. I knew her TRs were spot on every time she sent Lenny and Squiggy packing.
Tommy J says
OMG Ella……LMAO
Espiando says
I’m postulating that my plane to LA will be on time today. Let me check my app…Wow! It’s on time! And it’s at a close-in gate! If that’s not an OT win, I don’t know what is!
dr mac says
I think my dog is on OT7, because he’s had an OT phenomenon to compare with any here. I had two little parakeets in a cage to which the bottom doesn’t properly secure. About a year ago my Jack Russell (he’s definitely not OT7) knocked the cage over and the birds disappeared. A few minutes later my Bull Mastiff came to me and I noticed a bird’s head sticking out of his mouth. I kicked his arse big time (I also can’t claim to be OT, but as I don’t believe the state exists that’s no loss) and recovered the bird, still alive and none the worse for the experience. The other had made a successful bid for freedom.
A few months later, the non-OT dog again knocked over the cage and again the birds escaped. And AGAIN my Bull Mastiff came to me with a bird’s head sticking out of its mouth. Finally, it dawned on me the Mastiff was recovering the bird for me to prevent it escaping! If that isn’t epically OT I don’t know what is. Beats seeing a found notice.
Ann B Watson says
Hi dr.mac, Thank you for a post that touched me.Doggies and kitties and all creatures melt my heart.Such comforting animal spirits! PS no snakes spiders and creepy crawlies though I do not care for those!Ann.
Observingsandiego says
Haha did the bull mastiff give you a sec check for scolding him the 1st time is the real question. And give a KR on the other dog? 🙂
mark marco says
The other made a successful bid for freedom.
Alanzo says
There was a guy named Fred who worked at a Scientologist-owned marketing company I worked at in LA. Fred was an OT7 completion and a grad 5 auditor – a trained OT. He had studied under Ron.
He had been brought on to be a senior marketing consultant in our company, writing collateral and acting as an expert in meetings. Fred had major gravitas.
At any given time, we had 6 or 7 clients for whom we were running marketing programs. And so you had to be able to stay up with several different clients, and their different needs and priorities, at all times.
But Fred could only work on one thing at a time, and if he got a call from a client which he was not working on at the time, he would blow up and refuse to talk to them. So we got Fred 3 different young women to support him who were fresh out of college, each of whom would handle multiple programs with differing priorities calmly and very efficiently. Fred would still freak out regularly on his job and yell at them, as well as any one who walked by his office with a question.
One day, I went into the conference room to get a projector for a meeting. The lights in the conference room were off, and I felt my way to the back of the room and began picking up what I needed. I heard a sniffle, and realized someone else was in the room.
I looked and saw the outline of someone sitting at the conference table. It was Fred, sitting by himself in the dark.
“Fred?” I sat down across from him.
He had been crying.
“What’s going on?” I said in my most understanding auditor’s voice.
“Alanzo. I am so huge and the universe is so small compared to me. It’s like a little matchbox that you can hold in your hand.”
Fred was very upset that he had to deal with such small matters in this universe when he was actually such a huge operating thetan.
Alanzo
Ann B Watson says
Hi Alonso,That you for your post.Very sad but very true how Fred felt.What a burden on a spirit! To feel the universe is so small compared to his big beingness.Magical thinking indeed.Ann.
FOTF2012 says
LOL. You reminded me that Hubbard once said (in a lecture I think) that the MEST universe was only the size of a matchbox when you were exterior to it. I’m sure that was true for him, the same guy who couldn’t get the age of the universe right and first-hand saw current civilization on the molten pot of sulfuric acid atmosphere called Venus.
Overrun in California says
Yea, he almost got run over by a train on Venus. They have very reckless train engineers there.
GBA says
Us humans do struggle with the difference between coincidence/correlation and causation but the bird and the car alarm leave me speechless – scientology is magic, like a lobotomy without surgery.
keep up the good work mr rinder – the fact that you have sloughed off the prison of belief and work so hard to undermine the nasty scam that is scientology shows you to be a man of uncommonly strong character.
OTD-OUTTHEDOOR says
Given that AWESOME image of El Con Buddha, I have decided to take a few courses at my local org! Thanks to Mike Rinder for this inspiration. In fact, I may join the Sea Orgy. One question…are there any cute, young SO types left? Will they like a near 50 something like me? Can I marry a 17 year old legally?
Ann B Watson says
Hi OTD-OUTHEDOOR, I loved your post! Gosh all those cute SO gentlemen and ladies of long ago…my group we got old and smart and got out I hope! Reading about what the young members are like now is so strange to me,a different mind set today.You are a youngster so I’m sure you will be surrounded at the local Org when you tell them how Awesome that Image of Ron is! XO,Ann.
OTD-OUTTHEDOOR says
Gosh, Ann, anyone who calls me a youngster deserves flowers and serenading! To borrow a famous line, delivered oh so coyly, in her slightly screechy voice, by Elizabeth Taylor: “Are you married?”
Ann B Watson says
Hi OTD-OUTTHEDOOR,You are sweet!Iam married,but never immune to flowers and serenades.Sunrises sunsets those too.XO Ann.
FOTF2012 says
I remember when that issue came out. At the time, all the OTs nodded knowingly to each other — yes, Buddha had indeed returned. Looking at it today, it is just creepy.
Ann B Watson says
Hi FOTF2012, Loved your post.Isn’t it particularly spooky and creepy all rolled into Ron! Those who know please tell me if you can picture David Miscavige in a similar pose. I tried but just could not mock that one up! Back to the clay demos! Sigh and laughter,Always, Ann.
Observingsandiego says
It is very, very, very, very creepy.
Aaron Smith-Levin says
I’m inspired to print a T-shirt that says, “I spent 10 years auditing out my BTs and all I got was this lousy bird and two car alarms”.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Aaron Smith-Levin, Good to meet you.I would buy your T-shirt,loved it! Ann.
Observingsandiego says
I’ll buy one too lol!
Doug says
My T-shirt would say “My BT can kick your BT’s ass”
John Locke says
I can tell that the tech has REALLY degraded since DM took over. There are no OT wins about finding a parking place. Only “Standard tech” creates OTs that can find parking…
RMycroft says
And that’s why the Ideal Org have such empty parking lots! Win!
Observingsandiego says
Hahaha rmycroft!
John Locke says
FTW RM!
Valerie says
I am not being facetious here. I tried really hard to put myself in a position where the car alarm experience is something I would repeat to anyone and couldn’t figure it out. Huge win – car alarm goes off — huh? I don’t get it.
The bird story is equally embarrassing on its face. I’m OTVII. It took me 3 days to find a bird. Of course it was all my doing that SOMEONE ELSE found that bird and posted a poster about it.
The only thing those two people have in common is their amazing arrogance that they, in fact had anything to do with those occurrences.
Observingsandiego says
Great post Valerie. I think if you look hard enough for affirmation you will find something that confirms what you already believed. Ie I had a win so the car alarm went off.. It could have been anything happening twice (a truck drove by) etc.
Brian says
I remember the Buddha pic on that mag. I may have, as a young boy, cut it out and put it on my wall.
This ruese perpetrated by Ron (he is source of this lie that gave him Altitude Instruction per his writing) set up, unquestionably, hypnotic suggestibility for those of us on a spiritual journey.
It set Ron so high that we were then able to be imprinted by the most outrageous claims made by him.
Not withstanding Ron’s brilliant words an persona, it makes him just as crazy as a loon claiming to be Jesus in a past life.
In one word:
FRAUD
Ann B Watson says
Hi Brian, Love your post and agree 100% about the hypnotic suggestibility.I was so ready for that back years ago.I had forgotten this pose on Advance,but Mike got the memory back for me with the cover.Love U and yours,Ann.
Brian says
Hey Ann,
Hope all is well
Love back at ya:-))
Ann B Watson says
Hi Brian, I felt the love to my heart.Thank you,Good to see your post! I’m OK just did a fainting thing,my docs do not like that happening.But here you are so I am Good!Love Always,Ann.
I Yawnalot says
I’m lost!
Do I qualify as an OT if I find myself?
Lars says
LOL.
A GPS usually helps.
Observingsandiego says
Hahaha use the ‘find myself’ app.
Chee Chalker says
When Catholics lose something, we pray to St. Anthony (Patron saint of lost items). When we need to sell our home we pray to St. Joseph. When we are are in desperation, you may pray to St. Jude (Patron saint of hopeless causes).
All of it free of charge. Does it work? As Mike would say, it’s a matter of faith.
But at least mine is free and I don’t have to write down each ‘win’. Plus I get to speak to whomever I choose whenever I want.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Chee Chalker,Another really good post.I love the last bit about speaking to whomever you choose! That is a facet of the Freedom enjoyed and cherished by me,outside the bubble! Love U Ann.
mark marco says
Oh blessed St. Anthony,
My heart is filled with gratitude for your reminder that my keys did not cease to exist, amen.
Thomas Weeks says
The OT didn’t even find the bird. Someone else did. A real OT would have exteriorized, scanned the area and had that bird back in the cage within five minutes.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Thomas Weeks,The home runs just keep on coming this morning! Thank you.A very enlightening post!Ann.
Doug says
I have command over an entire flock of black birds in my area, over 70 I’m guessing. Every morning if I am awake at 5:00 am I put out an intention for at least half of them to start screaming and squawking. Works every time, those OT powers I bought-PURCHASED from Neurology.
FG says
Sorry to explain, on her reality the car alarm was an ack to her win, subjectivley she felt it like that, like she was ack by the gods. And the bird story is he felt locating the bird in the MEST.
I dont see anything wrong with this, this kind of fairy tales is OT phenomena. I had my share of it. Feeling I was causing things. Actually with some solo auditing adressing problems with people, you can blow the barrier and trouble. Those wins are what you expect from auditing : making life magical.
Those wins and those stats are honest and real, what is dishonest is Miscavige, his events and regging. He is a sociopath, destroying everything including scientology. But they still deliver some auditing and happy PCs. But their stat is down, when “COB” pretend a fabulous expansion.
He should be shot. But putting ridiculous those peOT is really a wrong target.
mwesten says
If I was spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to be cause over matter, energy, space, time, thought and life, I would expect a hell of a lot more than a lost budgie and a car alarm that won’t quit.
I once thought my house was haunted after all the ants I’d collected for my new space-age ant farm disappeared during the very first night they’d been in. There was no sign of them! They had disappeared into thin air! It was a miracle. It was spooky. But it turns out there wasn’t a mischievous little sprite playing tricksies on me (as I genuinely thought at the time). The little English ants had simply escaped through the air holes clearly designed for a larger foreign species. Lolz! I was bitterly disappointed.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with assigning supernatural significance to the mundane if you desire a little “magic” in your life. It’s silly and somewhat delusional, imvho. But don’t share them for use as a promotional piece by a group that is selling people the promise of so much more. A sales pitch you condone knowing fully well it is totally and utterly fraudulent.
John Locke says
“Those wins are what you expect from auditing : making life magical.”
?? No, it is pure delusion. It is a form of mental illness. So all that time and money spent in auditing causes mental illness.
roger gonnet says
No différences really, than ever before! that’s the most mindblowing constatation since I know the cult. Nothing changes, except the money . By instance, I’d like to know why neither TC neither Nicole K were present when their adopted daughter married. Would we bet scientology is still behind ?
Jason Argall says
Thanks for the lulz this morning. Lmfao
I guess when you spend so much money, you’ll try hard to see signs that it was worth it. Everyday coincidences become signs you’re “Cause over the universe”.
Mike Rinder says
True dat
Idle Morgue says
When I did OT III – I found a parking space close to the front door of my office building and thought…wow – $2,578,000 and 30 years of my life and just look at all that “winning”. Score!! LOL
Lars says
After Scio in LA I moved to a part of the country
where I have 50,000 open parking spaces wherever
I go. I thought that was pretty OT.
Mat Pesch says
I don’t get it. How much contraction does an org need to have to make it “Ideal”?
Mike Rinder says
Infinite?
Old Surfer Dude says
Ouch!
Bystander says
I postulated that each week would have a Wednesday – and it happens every week!!!!! What a win!!
How many of the lucky completion folk would actually be embarrassed to have their name out here on the fringes of the internet? How many would be worried that their boss, co-workers or neighbors would find out about their affiliation with the cult?
hgc10 says
I can remember when hearing car alarms was not a happy event. They used to go off so frequently that they were a constant annoyance. Scientology: finding a ways to turn lemons into lemonade. Like when you are burdened with an inheritance from your granny. Scientology can fix that sucky situation too.
Ann B Watson says
Hi hgc10,Oh yes inheritances to cos is like moths to the flame! They’ll dance around the money fire forever,if it means a stat way up before 2:00pm!Love,Ann.
Ann B Watson says
Hi anitawarren,Nice to meet you.I laughed at the car alarm and finding the bird wins too,but then they both paid an enormous amount for stuff that I experienced as a child.So glad you are a fan of Mike’s and the blog.I learn from all here every time.Always,Ann.
Ann B Watson says
Hi Mike,Up early and had to post about your post! Talk about bending my mind into the shape of the twisted,broken Bridge! You hit a home run this AM.The most creepy weird pix of Ron! Put a big cut out of this in front of the night shot of Saint Hill(artist on the whole track promo) and I will never need to put up any H’ween decorations again!Ron the great Warrior of the Golden Aura-Era Age of BS! Love the slightly space opera gaze and colors of his likeness.Forget the Volcano,this portrait is one that takes it all! Then the OT Sucess Stories,my gosh if those two experiences were so OT to the writers,I hate to think how they will handle everything else life and this dimension will throw at them!Oh AOLA of my long gone days,RIP!Love U,Ann.
Observingsandiego says
Great post Ann and I see lots of money in your future selling the LRH pic for Halloween decorations. Tons of money haha, LRH giving you a way to make back all of the money spent on him. 😉
Ann B Watson says
Hi Observinginsandiego, Thank you for the encouragement! Tons of money to make up for Ron’s ways sounds lovely,but you know what would be really special? Having enough money to help any staff or Sea Org member who really needs and wants to leave.To be able to do that for them.My spirit would rest easier if I could do that.Love your posts.XO Ann.
Observingsandiego says
I
M
Observingsandiego says
I’m not sure what just happened, (in reference to my last post) too many mimosas to make an actual statement. But I’m with you 1000 percent on helping anyone in the sea org…..
Ann B Watson says
Hi Observinginsandiego, Love your posts.My email is abwatson@cox.net use anytime you want.Mimosa’s so good,but after a few glasses of my Sin Zin,I can really mess up spell-kill! Love,Ann.
mark marco says
Ann B Watson-
Your powerful demonstration of the beautiful state of being known as freedom serves all so well in the endeavor to reveal the core desire of every lonely man, woman and child, especially for those trapped, isolated and lost at sea,
would they, we all, only have the fortune to see your words. Meanwhile, I’ve got your back and I think I speak for the rest of us here, too.
-Until a billion eyes times two all see and become familiar with the truth, as it is.
Now then, back to my search for the key.
Lovely day.
Ann B Watson says
Hi mark marco, To be-able to walk across rice paper and leave no footprints…..You write beautifully,Ever,Ann.
trdunsworth says
I’ve absorbed so much through this that I concentrated on where I put my car keys this morning, and I found them!
Old Surfer Dude says
Dude, you are soooooo OT! Man, I can feel your powers from here! I do have a favor to ask, though. I lost my car keys 3 years ago. Haven’t driven since. Can you help me out?
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh, crap, Bob, you’re right! Parking in southern California is just an old wive’s tale. My bad. Never mind trdunsworth. I’ll walk………..
Bob Eckert says
But will you be able to find a parking place? That’s the real test!
mark marco says
My treasure chest of life is occupied by yet another hero.
lawgrrl34 says
Wow, they found the bird. It’s miraculous. What OT powers she must have. Not.
Len Zinberg says
Not only did she find the bird.
She also found a parking space for the bird!
Sandy Duncan says
🙂 Parking space for the bird. 🙂 Priceless.
Graham says
And it only took three days! If only the modestly anonymous “L.D.” had been OT VIII then they could probably have done it in a mere two days. Something to aspire to there L.D.
anitawarren1 says
I like the “Finding the Bird” and the “Car Alarm” wins… I don’t find fault with that. Maybe I am missing something. The rest of it….. yeah… Thank you for doing what you do, Mike… I’m a fan….
Cat says
Because they’re pure coincidence? Car alarms are a constant in life, we just normally don’t notice them, due to them being so constant. Therefore it’s not a win, it’s not an anything. You’d also have to explain the influence that caused the bird’s return, apart from it just being a pet using learned behaviour after struggling in the sudden wild.
It’s the same as doing rain dances.
Lars says
Hi, rain dances (and sun dances) works. Ask the
American Natives at the opening of Chillaco (spelling?).
Of course they were not Scientologists but they
danced into the night and we got the some nice days.
Come to think of it, why do the California OT’s not get
together and postulate some rain over there before they
totally dry up?
Observingsandiego says
We did and it rained Sunday and Monday! But we did rain dances rather than postulating.
hgc10 says
Except that those commonplace events might just be misattributed as “wins” from spilling precious time down the drain and precious money into The Owner’s pockets. Think of all the non-Scientologists who noticed a flyer about a found bird or heard two car alarms. Who do they pay for their wins?
Newcomer says
“I like the “Finding the Bird” and the “Car Alarm” wins… I don’t find fault with that. ”
Hi Anita,
I think the point is that you too can have wins like that for a couple hundred thousand dollars and close adherance to the closely taped path to OTness.
My sister, ‘a never in and don’t try to sell me your shit’ sort of a gal, lost her Cockatoo named Rose several years ago. After putting her attention on the bird she reasoned that Rose had probably seen the turkey vultures nesting in a neighboring tree and wanting some company, maybe wandered over there. Sure enough, she went to the tree in the evening when they were nesting and there was Rose ………. happy ending.(true story)
Then this morning I too had a bognition which may need to be written in the next Retreat Mag because it is so profound:
‘YOU CAN USUALLY FIND WELL INTENTIONED ‘BIRDS’ HANGING WITH THE VULTURES’
Yo Dave,
Howz the flock hanging today good buddy? Any stray Cockatoos around? Sign em up and put em to work for gawds sake! Remember, it’s Wednesday before Thursday at TOO!
Ann B Watson says
Hi Newcomer,You are on your game today! I loved this post! Espicially ” hanging with the vultures” Priceless!Love,Ann.
Victoria Pandora says
It’s the delusion.
It’s a problem.
Maybe, just maybe without it, fewer lives would be ruined in this cult.
Old Surfer Dude says
You’re delusion, Victoria, and that’s a problem….
RMycroft says
Someone only heard two car alarms in LA over a few hours? Stop the presses!
Old Surfer Dude says
OK! The presses have been stopped.
Observingsandiego says
Can I restart them???!!! Lol
Old Surfer Dude says
You sure can! Just press the right button…..