This really requires no commentary.
The depravity within the bubble is expanding at an unprecedented rate. Highest ever!!! 47X!!!
The concept of being “equipped for eternity” is so bizarre it defies comparison. Though an ad for Cadillac comes to mind: “Drive through the Pearly Gates in comfort and style in the new Cadillac STS.”
But I must say that a nice looking polo shirt might really come in handy “in eternity,” I guess.
Nothing is beneath a fundraising pitch.
Dear Scientologist,
Having the necessary materials to make it all the way up the Bridge is a crucial component to your future eternity.
When you travel the Routes to Knowledge, you experience double the gains in half the time. And with the Golden Age of Tech Phase II and release of the Mark Ultra VIII meter, everything is in place for your rapid progress up the Bridge.
Having the full Golden Age of Knowledge library and the Mark Ultra VIII meter ensures you are fully equipped for your eternity.
From now until March 13th, when you obtain your remaining materials and thus own your full Golden Age of Knowledge library and your Mark Ultra VIII meter, you will receive exclusive awards to commemorate the accomplishment of becoming EQUIPPED FOR ETERNITY!
AWARDS
“And what is one rising to, after all?”
“One is rising to eternity.
“You think time is behind you?
“Have another thought. Look AHEAD.
“There’s eternity!”
—L. RON HUBBARD
MAKE IT ALL THE WAY UP THE BRIDGE
BECOME EQUIPPED FOR ETERNITY
CONTACT DENVER ORG @ 303-789-7668 / 303-291-3560
Impossible to make comments on thursday funnies !
Does this mean that on March 13th, all this old tech along with the e-meter is going to be thrown out the window and replaced with something better?
To pick up your “awards”, you will go to the mandatory 2015 Materials Drive Awards Dinner (full dress, $450 per couple, by winning an award you have already confirmed your attendance). It will be followed by a very special, locked-door double-top-secret elites-only briefing by Ideal Registrar Max Walitvak on some just-released mind-blowing data that will forever be remembered by all who were there.
Yes! Yes! Thank you for standing up for COB, Michael!
Let the slums shine in eternity!
And yes, after we have given this great man all of our wealth and compromised our integrity, the slums we will then be living in shall truly SHINE !
Only then shall we at last become slum dog millionaires! It is our destiny!
The exact route has now been taped by COB, himself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C62K-D_WC1I
Yes Espiritu, and may the chosen one wear Slum Cob Underwear.
“A Lie stands on 1 leg, Truth on 2.” Ben Franklin
Hey Dave,How about Eternity Cheeses and Salami ?
Much better than crummy pens and Polo shirts made in Vietnam.
CSWP.
RTC Office of Riffraff Containment
Ha ha ha ha. I freakin’ LOVE IT!!!!!!! I want my “equipped for eternity” stuff!!!! Of course as an SP, I can’t get it at the org, so … on Ebay yet? (Mike … are you putting us on? Your idea of a joke? Or did John Cleese come up with this after seeing the movie at Sundance? C’mon, come clean.) High – LARIOUS!
Then this document is false? http://www.freezone.org/reports/e_ssqpjt.htm
Yep
Messenger bags remind me of the Sea Org…….
ETERNITY is not part of Hubbardt’s vocabulary. It looks kind of monotheist, and very threatening. I strongly suspect that Hubbard never wrote RJ 35. How could he have promised those famous OTLevels above OTVIII when they don’t exist? All this blabla on eternity was written by a ghostwritter.
And RJ36, 37, 38 and 39 are also false. Especially RJ 38 the famous “Proof”. Please read this : http://www.freezone.org/reports/e_ssqpjt.htm
If this document is authentic, then RJ 38 is false. And this is the bloody proof that Miscavige is a fraud.
And the next RJ which promised that OTVIII will handle “amnesia on the whole track” is also false. I believe Ray Mithoff made up new OTVIII with bit en pieces.
Nothing about eternity button has to do with Hubbard whatsoever.
And Miscavige was not a by product of Hubbard personnality more than the seed of the nazis was on the very nature of Germany.
Of course Hubbard was heavily flawed, but still created a workable tech (but to overboard people one has to be a bit nuts).
All this circus called the COS is to the philosophy of scientology what inquisition was to christianity.
Well, your speculations about these not being written by Hubbard are just that. They are absolutely authored by him. Sorry to mess with your stable false data, but that is reality. I was there.
Thank you, Mike.
FG, You’re just stating the bleeding obvious. ANYONE with ANY common sense knows that LRH had at least one ghostwriter (maybe two or three). He couldn’t possibly have written all those books, policies, bulletins, lectures by himself. Proof? Just study the subject. Some ghostwriter (GW) wrote that engrams were the single source of aberration. Then Ron had to make sure he corrected that over the years by coming up with the CS 53 and Green Form, with whole lists of other stuff that could fuck you up (to say nothing of all thos pesky BTs). Then a GW wrote that the ONLY reason a person gives up a study is because of misunderstood words. Then Ron had to correct THAT over the years with all sorts of other reasons why a person would give up study (all the stuff on the study green form, student rescue intensive and other correction lists). Then a GW wrote that ALL illness stems from a PTS condition. Once again, Ron had to correct that, first on 10 Aug by “more or less” added into the above along with “stress on one or more of the dynamics.” And eventually he “discovered” FALSE PTSness causing illness which means of course “not PTSness” causing illness, but something else. These freakin’ ghostwriters kept getting things wrong and Ron had to correct them constantly as the years went by. And these are just a FEW of the fuckups of the ghostwriters getting it wrong. I could list a lot more, but I need to get me oatmeal soon.
I kind of want one of those messenger bags. If only they were available for purchase and not just a reward for ‘donating’ obscene amounts of money.
“Messenger Bag – fits any course pack and lecture binder.”
Or you can stuff it with 275 KRs and deliver it to your favorite MAA.
Or you can put the whole shitteree in there and toss it in the dumpster!
Sound familiar?
Foot-in-the-door (FITD) technique is a compliance tactic that involves getting a person to agree to a large request by first setting them up by having that person agree to a modest request. The foot-in-the-door technique succeeds owing to a basic human reality that social scientists call “successive approximations”. Essentially, the more a subject goes along with small requests or commitments, the more likely that subject is to continue in a desired direction of attitude or behavioral change and feel obligated to go along with larger requests. FITD works by first getting a small ‘yes’ and then getting an even bigger ‘yes.’
The principle involved is that a small agreement creates a bond between the requester and the requestee. Even though the requestee may only have agreed to a trivial request out of politeness, this forms a bond which – when the requestee attempts to justify the decision to themselves – may be mistaken for a genuine affinity with the requester, or an interest in the subject of the request. When a future request is made, the requestee will feel obliged to act consistently with the earlier one.
Begging is NOT one of the reason some individuals joined staff, but now they seem to be doing so. Desperate indeed.
How much for the book marker ?
Aww geezers… I was really looking forward to a set a steak knives. That’s no fair!!
All that bullshit and no steak knives???!!!
What’s eternity coming to now? It’s ruined!
I’m disappointed Dave, really disappointed…
Hmmmm I get to choose…..well for the price one has to pay to be equipped for eternity I think I’d take
the metal etched book mark. It really looks expensive. And I’m sure it will be the very best, never seen
before metal etched book mark in the universe. Gee I hope it has Love DM on it.
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven. Spot on then and spot on today.
(Yes, I know it’s about a Scientologist).
Silly me: I thought use of LRH tech was their road to total freedom / eternity. Pity it turns out to be little pieces of MEST instead.
The eternity nonsense reminds me of a line used in an episode of Doctor Who (Tom Baker years): “The living are just the dead on holidays.”
Further off topic but an fyi that F’dumb Mag is no longer first up when I google Tony Ortega to access the Bunker. By accident or design, that YouTube ad with the photo of Candace draws the eye immediately. Devastating! I don’t post on Tony’s so I’ll give my 3 cheers here!
When the cob is near the Hemet hole
And Lou’s bought caviar
Then sheep will graze the planet
And Dave will stock his bar
This is the dawning of the Scourge of eternity
The Scourge of eternity
Eternity! Eternity!
Ridges of misunderstanding
Meter checks and hate abounding
RPF and Sea Org missions
Nightmare living, scary visions
Mystic cryptic explanations
And the minds true degradation
Eternity! Eternity!
Let the slums shine, Let the slums shine, through space and time
Let the slums shine, Let the slums shine, through space and time
Let the slums shine, Let the slums shine, through space and time… (ad infinitum)
Thanks for that great revision of The Age of Aquarius! Great new lyrics. Love it. It’s good to be able to laugh at all of this, right?
Yes, laughter is indeed great therapy.
Substitute RCS for Gotham and the Internet for Bane, and it seems a fitting analogy.
“I am Gotham’s reckoning, here to end the borrowed time you’ve all been living on.”
Bane – ‘The Dark Knight Rises’
Mike,
If anyone wants to explore a bit more the history of religion, particularly in the West, I recommend this History Channel documentary on The Ancient Egyptian Religion.
Egypt has been documented as the source for much of the Greek and the Mediterranean spiritual beliefs, and as the source of the three great Monotheistic religions.
You can see the High Priests running their scam on their devout followers. And it went on for thousands of years!
http://youtu.be/OwkHnjS4_yo
http://youtu.be/flXCZb00sB0
Thx Conan, I’ll check that out.
I was on Mental Floss just now, and in their “paid ad article links” section was one marked “The Cover-Up Behind HBO’s New Movie” from Freedom Magazine, graced with a photo of one Mr. M. Rathbun, smiling a wicked smile and wearing what one would immediately interpret as an orange shirt characteristic of a prison uniform.
The question is, can I get one of those orange shirts by equipping myself for Eternity?
Oh, and got it that “Candace” is a pseudonym.
This is off-topic, but can anyone tell me if the photo of Candace on Tony’s is actually her? I tried to find the answer in the comments but could not.
The problem is not that these trinkets are just plain pathetic! They would do just fine with some $29.99 QVC scam. The problem is that these gimmicks will set you back thousands of $$$, not to mention incessant regging once you were fool enough to surrender your contact info.
Then again, after March 13, you won’t even get these. So call us direct, call us collect, but call us today!
THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL. But if it is, I want 2 Dianetics Koozie’s, stat.
Where can I get my KSW whoopie cushion?
At the bookstore in Hemet, right next to Dave’s dildo’s.
What type of person would so crave the incredible validation of a t-shirt?! A pen??!!!! And Oh my gaaaawwwwd, a PIN????!!!!!! Even for the competitively materialistic, this is an extremely low bar. Poor things. At least go for some steak knives or a time share or something.
“At least go for some steak knives or a time share or something.”
You are gonna have to get a second meter for yourself and a couple for the Org to qualify for that! Better to just but the timeshare outright and tell Davee to suck pondwater ………… or whatever else he finds laying around.
Oops …’just buy the timeshare’
Well, at least the Scn company, “Studio Gear” is making good money this month. That’s probably the company that made these little chatchkis.
Oh, but wait. That’s right. They would have had to do them for cost because it’s “off-policy” to “make money off the backs of the orgs.” (the biggest policy quoted out of context, ever)
Indie8Mill, I know the owners of Studio Gear, and they don’t do church jobs anymore. The church “fired” them because the owner, Dan, would get upset sometimes over the many last minute changes and last minute jobs that demanded he put aside everything he was working on, pull and all nighter to get it out “on time” just because the church couldn’t get their act together to get the job to him sooner. I have suspected for years that Dan and Julie are UTR as neither of them have moved on the Bridge in many decades. I think they should come on out over to the good side and be free!
Cindy, please clarify. What does the term moving on the Bridge mean?
Hallie: I think the deeper question is why do scientologists (the few that are left) seem to have such tacky taste? Look at the backdrops to the Biggest Ever Events that keep occurring and they are all polystyrene foam gilt painted plastic tacky cast offs from some Hollywood studio dumpster. Their trophies for multi $million $tatu$ contributions that eat up donors’ poor seaogre kids’ inheritance are phony tacky shit. Their oversize certificates are wallpaper printouts made for 10 cents a pop off their state of the fart printing presses. Yet it all gets lapped up! And they feel like they are making a difference to the planet!
Indeed very deep tony-b. They are truly making a difference adding tacky crap to the environment. Right up there with strip clubs with 10 foot neon ladies with flashing boobs. Or how about a half deflated, giant toilet on top of a plumbing supply business. So classy. 🙂
My favorite part of the pitch was its reference to “your future eternity.” Future eternity? Another illustration that these snake oil sales persons are trying to sell something that not only does not exist but CAN’T! It’s an impossibility!
Tod. Future eternity, as opposed to my current eternity? Crazy stuff.
I can just see Maximus Decimus Miscavigus in his lil wee gladiator get up screaming” What we do at Flag, echoes in enternity!”
When I go to the great beyond, I would really prefer the kind of stuff that King Tut was buried with. Or, even better, the Emperor Qin was buried with a whole damn army of terra cotta soldiers and horses — that’s for me! Not some dumb pens and polo shirts.
A Birthday Celebration promo piece found its way to me. It says “Celebrating SOURCE in the Age of Ideal.” (See how they combine DM and Ron in one sentence?) And “news on the next milestone advances in this epic era of expansion,” and “at the Dolby Theatre.”
Well if this is truly the “epic era of expansion” for the church, how come the Dolby Theatre holds half the number of people as the Shrine auditorium? The Shrine holds 6,000 people and the Dolby Theatre holds 3,000 people. How do you explain this shrinkage vs your quip of “epic era of expansion?” Cognitive Dissonance, thy name is Scientology.
It’s what you call a “Spinal Tap” movie. It’s not that our audience is “shrinking.” It our “exclusive, selective appeal.”
“We’ve been canceled in Boston……….don’t worry, it’s not a big college town”
Don’t worry your little head over this. By the time the photos and video have had a bit of photoshopping there will be at least 6000 in the house. I do urge you not to study the pics too carefully though as our photoshoptech is still not up to 47X .
Eternity…the JWs, the Catholic Church, Hinduism, Budhism, Islam. all promise Eternity, Paradise, Nirwana or however they call it. But, i.o you can get it you have to sell them your Soul, give your Money, Time, dedication or whatever they want from you, and it’s always your fault, in any Religion, when they can’t deliver their promises.
This is a criminal Business principle, used by the Mafia and other criminal organisations but churches have the garanteed right for it
Why would somebody thrive to achieve eternity when he’s a eternal being ? The Moment he takes this decision he’s trapped !
And who says and can prove that there was ever a beginning of Time. The past may also be as eternal as the future.
I’ ve always been, I am and will always be…. :).
Only Humanism, Democracy and the Philosophy of the Greeks , Romans and the time of reason have delivered their promises. What was their credo ? Education, Schooling and again Education will solve the Problems of humanity…No Religion will ever do this, as more REAL EDUCATION People have less they’ll believe the silly propositions of their Religion and so tey’ll care about their sheeps not being educated too much.
The recent Noble Price winner MALALA which is only seveteen years old has done more for Clearing this Planet than all the combined OTS of the COS.
Read her book “I’m Malala” – it will shake you -and you’ll get an education about education and you’ll understand that the Problem isn’t a lack of mass or Mus.
This Little Lady gonna Change the world a lot in the future.
I think you’re painting with WAY too broad a brush here! No doubt, scn is a scam and the “church” is a repressive, fraudulent system. However, to extrapolate from that indiscriminately to all other religions is simply not credible! It’s about as useful as taking Jim Jones’ People’s Temple, a nominally Christian organization, and holding it up as an example of a couple of thousand years of world-wide Christianity.
If you truly believe that humanism and democracy have delivered on their promises, you may want to consult a history text book! ALL of the atrocities of the last 100 years or so were committed in the name of humanity and self-government (or democracy although not all of them used that term).
An arguable exception may be Islam and scn has certainly valiantly tried to create as many atrocities as a tiny group with a tinier Fuehrer can. But they have not even made a dent in the overall bloodshed and cruelty that secular humanism has wrought!
“However, to extrapolate from that indiscriminately to all other religions is simply not credible!”
It was the other way around. I read about 40 history books and and extrapolated from the current Religions that Scientology is doing the same and then I was gone .
And about Democracy , one has just to look at countries that are really praticising it, not just talking about it, like Germany , Switzerland, Dänemark, Sweden, Finnland, Austria, Norway ..
All those countries are doing very well, are real paradises and their main Focus is on educating it’s People. In Switzerland propably 97 % of the People have an education and a Job
So what’s swrong about those countries ?
Read “I’m Malala`”
What does “Malala” mean?
Great point as re eternity, Roger. What can have no end cannot have ever had a beginning!
Google it. ” MalaLa is the name of a 17 years old noble Price winner and she has written a book “I’m Malala”.
There isn’t a religion in the world, that I’m aware of, that doesn’t address the age old FEAR of dying and LOSING what is most precious to us — our selves and those we love.
We fear death for ourselves and our loved ones. We fear getting old for ourselves and our loved ones. And we fear illness for ourselves and our loved ones.
BUT BUT — there isn’t a person ON EARTH who will not age, have illness and death. NONE.
We cling so hard to the HOPE that THIS will not be our fate or the fate of our loved ones that we fall smack dab into the clutches of whichever RELIGIOUS or SPIRITUAL leader offers THE MOST HOPE OUT of the HUMAN CONDITION.
BUT — I have a few things to say about what has recently been posted on Tony’s blog and on Mike’s — I was dealing with subzero weather while much of the US was focused on the SuperBowl — who I knew NEXT to nothing about. For starters I thought the SeaHawks was a hockey team …
I’m frankly still reeling from Tony Orgeta’s horror story of the young prisoner now hopelessly broken in a state mental facility. There by the grace of god – go I and a few others I know …
As a (ex) step-mother today I, once again will say, I just cannot imagine how terrifying it must be to be disconnected from a child — knowing that BECAUSE of the rigid cruel and mindless adherence to Hubbard technology — one might never see their child again. And if a child becomes sick or infirm — the parents will never be notified … if they are “declared” (which is just about everyone these days)
The scientology community of kool-aid drinkers, on the fencers, former SO members, former staff members, former public and anti-hubbard, anti-DM etc … reminds me of the most inbred clusters of human beings.
Everyone is someone’s aunt, uncle, child, father, cousin etc.
There isn’t someone reading THIS blog or Tony’s or Marty’s who doesn’t know someone who knows someone who has been or is affected by scientology.
I even have a dear friend whose friend really wants auditing. BECAUSE … duh … some of it DOES work.
It’s the REST OF THE STORY that is so scary.
Oh well … just wanted to comment on this PURCHASE OF ETERNITY …
IMPOSSIBLE.
It belongs only to you
Windhorse
When you get old you can bury all of this stuff and then when you reincarnate you can look for it on a Mission Into Time.
That may well be the intent, but if you have any sense whatsoever you’ll reincarnate with decent taste!
What no Green Stamps or airline miles? How cheap can you get. Another big Certificate, ready to cover up that hole in the wall, just for buying all that Lron crap? Sign me up never.
Nice. Polo shirts and ink pens from Denver org. All the IAS gave me was a lousy T-shirt.
What more do you need when you are saving the planet?
Its so obvious that, for what this org lacks in statistics, it makes up for with hyperbole. A prosperous Scientology org would not need to use such high-flown language in its promotion because with affordable pricing all of the auditing and training wins the materials would be selling themselves.
But with no auditors being made, no Clears or releases being made, and no new public signing up; with stats in the toilet and the staff’s voices echoing in the halls, with no training win buttons to press, no auditing win buttons, all they can press is the “eternity” button.
To me this echos the strategems of history’s tyrants and oppressors.. They also leaned heavily on the “eternity” button to keep their serfs, peasants, slaves, etc. in line, to keep them ignorant, obedient, unquestioning, uncomplaining and toiling. The words and phrases vary but the concept is always the same: no matter how difficult things are now, just keep on keeping on, slave, because your eternity is at stake.
Appropriate quote from Robert Jay Lifton:
Dispensing of existence. The group has the prerogative to decide who has the right to exist and who does not. This is usually not literal but means that those in the outside world are not saved, unenlightened, unconscious and they must be converted to the group’s ideology. If they do not join the group or are critical of the group, then they must be rejected by the members. Thus, the outside world loses all credibility. In conjunction, should any member leave the group, he or she must be rejected also.
+ 100 Aquamarine.
Depraved out of touch with reality self serving typical Daveshit. Eternity? Are you kidding me! This group of Morons aren’t able to promise the next minute second. I want a pair of
those rose color glasses your wearing Dave. And last but not least My bumper sticker!
“Hows my Driving ? Call 1-800-Eat Daveshit.
My bumper sticker?
“Happiness is Scientology in my rear view mirror”
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Yes Mike, religion can make people STUPID by objectifying spiritual memes.
It doesn’t have to be that way but unfortunately it often is.
Keep up the good work, there are more people to be woken up yet.
And the few Public at the Denver Org are still postulating to win the Lottery. Maybe the group of OTs that purchase Lottery tickets together could share their “Eternity Package” and their commendation, notepad and pen! Oh Yeah, they still haven’t won the Lottery after a decade. Maybe next week they will win since they have such incentive!
And you’ll be dressed in the right t-shirt for eternity. And have a handy little pen and pad to take notes at the pearly gates. This is beyond bizarre. Monetizing eternity. And the people who eat this stuff up — are they daft?
All this talk about eternity makes me think of cemeteries and flower arrangements.
Yeah, and where are the Pope David steak knives. I ordered a dozen a month ago
Yeah, and I’ve been waiting for my Pope-on-a-Box whiskey tumblers!
We’ve got some handy, jim-dandy John Lobb replica miniature shoes you can hang on your rear view mirror. Going fast! Act NOW, NOW, NOW! Call this toll free number: 1-800-SUCK-ERS
And the COB commemorative case of 100 year old scotch. If you give 1 million, you can drink yourself into oblivion when the credit card bills come in.
And when you’re flat broke you can use your stylish messenger bag to carry the meager belongings you have left to the poor house.
Oh My God. 🙁
I will cry generally for all good people trapped in this church and specifically for my son until the reality of reality slaps them awake.
McCarren – Head nodding… It is heartbreaking. I see people making these arrogant, offensive comments to people trying to help them see and it saddens me. You want to reach out and save them but you know it’s going to be like trying to save a panic’d, drowning person. Both of you are going to go down.
All you can do is throw them a life preserver and wait for them to reach. Very sad.
All prayers for your son to see.
Here’s my quip for eternity – get off your highhanded arrogance and realize your bridge is made out of thin air as there’s nothing to support your inevitable fall from grace. I strongly suggest you quit this scam for eternity.
Ooops! Their = They’re. (First cuppa coffee!)
Utterly bizarre. Their now raising monies by selling overly priced trinkets and doodahs. Pens? Bookmarks? And even Hubbbard did not understand the meaning of eternity. And, for what it’s worth, the only time one ever gets is “NOW”, this moment.
That is so ridiculous. They are not aware of how dumb this is?
Hi Mike I see this ad came from the Denver Org. I rode by the Denver Org in June on a Sunday afternoon and their parking lot was virtually empty. I happened to be in Denver again about a month ago on a Sunday and the parking lot was about half full. I wondered if they were leasing out parking or letting patrons of the sports bar across the street park there to avoid the embarassment of an empty parking lot.
Thanks to the work of Marc Headley, we know that they’re renting out parking spaces during baseball season when the Rockies are in town, so renting space out at other times is certainly a possibility. It’s pretty well assumed that parking space rental is a significant part of, if not the majority of, their GI.
My guess is they were letting the sports bar patrons use it to avoid the embarrassment of an empty parking lot. And they probably charged the bar for the use of it!
Where is the IA$ Good Luck Money Necklace?
https://otviiisgrrr8.wordpress.com/2015/01/29/the-ia-good-luck-money-necklace/
Psst, they don’t have any answers.Keep your money ,David Miscavige
will spend it on Lawyers, PI’s, new ways to beat up staff, lavish lifestyle.