The Freewinds is hosting a seminar at AOLA conducted by a public person (that used to be enough to drop jaws, now it is routine), and from the heights of assumed authority, they are going to tell you how to use “LRH Tech” to succeed on the internet….
If there is one thing everyone knows, it is that scientology has conquered the internet. The leading expert on LRH Tech, COB himself, has announced their massive efforts “applying LRH tech” to reach people on the internet. Many times. Using completely made up stats or ones that are broken down so far, they sort of sound impressive, until you calculate what they really mean. As a measure of their astonishing success, a quick glance at Alexa tells the story. Scientology.org is ranked 149,255 in the world and 59,512 in the US. This is with their “massive IAS sponsored dissemination campaigns” (as a comparison, with lower numbers better, ie Google is ranked 1) my little blog on the fringes of the internet is ranked 103,937 in the world and 26,180 in the US. With no massive infusion of funds or site optimization and hundreds of links.
This so clearly displays the astonishing arrogance of the church. They truly believe they are the experts in everything and all they need say to “prove it” is the three magic words “applying LRH tech” — and hey presto, they suddenly know all.
One could develop a series of Saturday Night Live skits based on this single premise. The unemployed homeless man conducting a seminar on “how to succeed in business by applying LRH tech”, the prostitute’s seminar on how to maintain a happy marriage “using LRH tech,” or the guy who went into debt giving money to the ideal org campaign hosting a seminar on prudent fiscal planning “based on LRH tech” (oh wait, they already did that one…)
PS: Perhaps Dear Leader should attend…
PPS: On second thought, no need. I just read the story at Tony Ortega’s blog this morning and according to Brandy Harrison (?) they have the internet thing well in hand. Millions of free advertising from Google, a ringing endorsement (cough) from the founder of Twitter and WTH is now “officially recognized” on Twitter, the mainland Chinese Government has been brought under total control by the Taiwan idle org so they allow access to scientology.org (also tonyortega.org, this site and many others… — thanks for that Ideal Org). Brandy presents a veritable avalanche of amazing expansion bald-faced lies Shermanspeak news.
Mike
Could you please fix the link ” the story at Tony Ortega’s blog this morning” It leads nowhere… (Not found, error 404)
Fixed
A couple of random thoughts while reading this:
A few Scn business people I knew over the decades would hire some charity case – a Scn-ist who needed a job. In no time, this new hire would be telling the business owner what they are doing wrong and how they should change the way they run their enterprise to be more on-source. This coming from someone who never held a job for longer than 6 months.
Reading the promo – all about marketing, What have I never seen in one of these “make more money” promos? How to actually produce a better product and more of it. I guess experts in production and quality are tough to find inside the great kool-aid stand.
Am I the only one who reads WTH as “What The Hell?”?
The bottom line on folks believing all the absurd “stats” is that it is now quite obvious that Scientologists LOVE their myths as much as most Hindus, Muslims and Christians do. Ah, religion on Earth! When people get TOO excited on religion? The Crusades …. the Inquisition …. ISIS …. disconnection … (just a matter of degrees)
The Church of Scientology is nothing more than a bloviating ad agency for RTC products and services.
This bloviating ad agency has an arm that delivers perfunctory auditing only as a way to justify raising massive amounts of money for IAS.
The IAS is a giant cash-stuffed legal fantasy that largely exists for the benefit of Captain David Miscavige. The IAS does not have a delivery organization nor does it need one as it delivers nothing.
*****
This arrangement is like an ad agency for a real estate company hyping and selling you the most amazing home on the beach in Paradise.
This amazing home in Paradise costs a fortune but you pay the money because you want to live in Paradise with perfect health, happiness, relationships, affluence, increased abilities, and everything else that the ad agency told you exists in your home in Paradise.
You pay the money and become a Paradisian.
However, when you arrive at your home in Paradise a large group of obnoxious and hyper-aggressive salespeople immediately descend upon you to raise large sums of money for the unincorporated membership association devoted to protecting Paradise. And then there are constant demands to pay more money to reach the actual State of Paradise. You see, you are actually in Pre-Paradise.
Paradise IX and Paradise X will not be available until a large group of vacant properties are made ideal, water flows uphill, and time travel is a reality. This will eventually happen if you go all in and help now now now.
Paradise is at stake you see.
Factually, Paradise can only be saved if the Chairman of the Board of Paradise has endless billions of dollars to fight off the many enemies of Paradise, the so-called Paradise Suppressors. That is why the International Association of Paradisians needs your help like never before. Write that check now.
You donate and donate and keep donating because you want to protect Paradise. You want Paradise to be around for your kids and grandkids and for yourself in future lifetimes.
However, it begins to become clear to you over time that Paradise is an imploding Kafkaesque nightmare led by a violent lunatic dictator. Awash in empty buildings, lies, endless demands, and reeking of paranoia, Paradise is not what the ad agency promised. It is actually Hell after all.
When you begin to secretly read the truth about Paradise on the internet the dictator’s secret police find out and then suddenly it happens: You are declared a Paradise Suppressor (PS) and are expelled from Paradise!
Kicked to the curb without so much as a thank you for all the money and decades of your life you gave Paradise Inc. You are no longer in good standing with Paradise Inc. and are banned for eternity. Your only terminal is the Paradise Inc. Justice Chief and he quite insane. You don’t even need to meet him to know this to be true. In fact, he can only be insane because Paradise Inc itself is insane.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradise_Lost
Anyone know what’s being served for the free dinner?
Horseshit. 🙂
Manure pie for dessert.
I’m still trying to wrap my mental mitts around how the cult thinks Google and YouTube will not actually be the final nails in their own coffin. Honestly, I don’t get it.
Unless the church’s faster demise is the purpose. Perhaps with Planetary Dissem, Makemerich is going for his last, big, final money grab, so that everyone and his brother in law knows all the awful stuff on the internet and the cult just implodes and he can leave. Maybe he’s sick, physically, and/or sick of it all, and just wants out.
I was thinking that too Aqua, it’s like they intentionally want to introduce the data that would cause the rest of the people to leave. Strange…..or intentional. They are busy doing themselves in as usual.
CHINA HATES TAIWAN! Argh! Anyone who believes Taiwan is a gate to China is literally ignoring decades and decades of history. This is such basic ignorance I’m frustrated so many clams clap for it!
From the book of Wonder:
He’s a man
With a plan
Got a counterfeit dollar in his hand
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
Playin’ hard
Talkin’ fast
Makin’ sure that he won’t be the last
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
Makes a deal
With a smile
Knowin’ all the time that his lie’s a mile
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
Must be seen
There’s no doubt
He’s the coolest one with the biggest mouth
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
If you tell him he’s livin’ fast
He will say what do you know
If you had my kind of cash
You’d have more than one place to go oh
Oou…oou…oou oou…oou…
Any place
He will play
His only concern is how much you’ll pay
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
If he shakes
On a bet
He’s the kind of dude that won’t pay his debt
He’s Misstra Know-It-All
When you say that he’s living wrong
He’ll tell you he knows he’s livin’ right
And you’d be a stronger man
if you took Misstra Know-It- All’s advice oh oh
Oou…oou…oou oou…oou…
Isn’t that interesting. Social Business. Just so happens, our very own Ryan Hogarth, featured on the back in comm blog in South Africa, has just published his own book on this subject:
How to win influence and friend people, at Amazon in the Kindle Store.
Over 20 years on staff too. Great book and hands down nukes Tom Burton.
You can’t keep good people down. They just rise up. Like you Mike and in this pertinent case, Ryan.
The new trick to attract steeple, is to pick something topical and bend it around LRH tech to make it palatable. Wise did that recently in its Prosperity magazine, with an article about Elon Musk (excuse spelling errors) and his various enterprises.
Thank you Mike for bringing out all the hype and propaganda, etc. about, within and through the church and making it less than what the church would have everyone believe. Pointing out these lies, I hope, will help those who have recently come out to differentiate between what got them stuck to begin with and help them move on.
I’m not the kind of person who believes in throwing out good info or things that really work, so I may not generalize and think that ALL of Scn is bad, but I have no qualms of stomping on bull advertising. And actually, their type of advertising has helped me with other scams and such, so it hasn’t all been for naught :).
I mean’t – who *doesn’t* believe not who believes – it was a typo 🙂
It looks like the church has mastered internet marketing in the same way it’s mastered design and construction. Gaudy, overdone, convoluted, added time, added expense, (all other people’s money of course), bragged about shamelessly and useless. They are like a teenager with a low IQ, not good looking, poor, with 2 alcoholic parents trying to fit in with the “in” crowd. The entire conundrum is fruitless and sad. It’s a study on the folly of “off purpose” and “overt products.”
I hear ya Hallie.
The definition of “delusions of grandeur” should read – see Scientology(ist)
I can’t but think that promoting Scientology on Google is risky for the cult. I’ve got this picture of their fingers straying…like that Simon & Garfunkel song, “Slip sliding away, slip sliding away, you know the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away”.
Well, that was a Paul Simon solo song, but the sentiment rings true. Google is the ultimate forbidden fruit for those still in. One bite, and that’s it.
Duly noted, Espi, thanks. Yes, Google changed my life. If not for Google I’d still be in the cult.
I apologize in advance for jumping threads here (from TOs site).
I cannot even believe the frickin gall of Brandy Harrison stating:
“Now, China is a special animal. For those of you who don’t know, China has very specific rules on censorship, meaning that the Chinese government controls the media, all incoming and outgoing communications across the country. Specifically, they control what you can and cannot access across the Internet. Quickly, this is known as the great firewall of China.”
If she were not lying through her frickin teeth she would have told the truth. Shame on your stupidity, arrogance and outright ignorance Brandy. Here is what you could have said:
‘Now, Scientology is a special animal. For those of you who don’t know, Scientology has very specific rules on censorship, meaning that the Scientology management (Sea Organization) controls the lives of it’s adherants, all incoming and outgoing communications of every member in every Sea Org Org in the world. Specifically, Scientology controls what you can and cannot access across the Internet. Quickly, this is known as the great human trafficking of Planet Earth by a cult gone mad and cleverly disguised as a religion.’
Tell it like it is Brandy. And tell your dingleberry boss to see if he can smell the sweet stench of burning COB in the morning. It’s coming soon to a berthing near you!
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Cooper!
I find it SO interesting that the internet is being discussed at great length by scn inc lately. Surely encouraging people to look is going to cause CoS some serious damage. They are virtually giving their public permission to Google “Scientology”!
From their perspective it is obvious that being 165,000 is better than being 103,000. They think they are kicking your butt! Straight up and vertical!
DM: “Bend over sheeple. I’ll show you straight up and vertical!’
His wife is the ED of Santa Barbara Org….
here some more about them:
http://www.witi.com/santabarbara/meeting.php?id=2722
The Company he was Ceo at this time doesn’t seem to exist anymore….. 🙂
That link confirms Social Media Noise is a Buron creation. That site is unimpressive
I couldn’t read past this: “For since the release of Golden Age of Tech Phase II, Scientology has expanded by 47 times”. [Crowd: Whoa, Wow, applause]. I got a keyboard to protect and a monitor that doesn’t need bile all over it.
Okay, Mike, I am truly confused. Re Tony’s site and the Brandy Harrison lies. I thought the church usually told “acceptable truths.” Where/What do these “acceptable truths” stem from? Are these numbers now just being cut out of whole cloths – just out-right lies? 47 times expansion? Where the hell does this number come from in their convoluted reasoning? And Google grants- $40,000/month? – Really?
I just don’t get it.
47x is a fact because Dear Leader said so at the Silver Anniversary 26th MV event and then it was reprinted in the Int Scn News, so now it is verified in writing. Nobody has yet explained 47X what?
As for Google, a number of people have written to me about this and what REALLY happens and I am putting together something to deconstruct this whole speech. Virtually every line is a lie. Or at least a dramatic twist of reality.
Okay. Thanks. I appreciate your answering that to the degree you could.
Sometimes I feel like David Miscavige is saying, “Okay, the only ones left are total fools; I can tell them anything. Here goes ….”
Yup.
Yeah, but the truth is a $tatic – you know that crackly stuff on the radio…
I know I understand it, Everyone will eventually, you just need to have trust and faith in what your money buys.
It’s all in the giving, believe me, it truly is, We know what we know in Scientology and we’re got the buildings to prove it.
Sherman
Um m’kay. I am very close to a person who, in the last 4 years has launched two Social media companies that have sold for several millions of $ after a few months. Is someone Twitter & FB execs do case studies with, Gartner & Forrester analysis’s consult, Hummer Winblad works with etc, etc. This person has NEVER ever, heard of a Tom Burton in the space. Just another “internet mktg” douche bag. They are a dime dozen. Have been since the Dot Com boom. LRH “Admin Tech”? What a joke. LRH knew as much about successfully running a business as I do about the anatomy of native life on Alpha centari VI.
is that his website ?
http://www.socialmarketingnoise.com/
No idea. Why would you think it is?
Google told me, and it is !
Told you what? I am not following? How is this website connected to Tom Burton?
Mike, here registrant data for that website: publicly available. I don’t know the people listed below.
Registrant Name: Lorin Jeter
Registrant Street: 5350 Paseo Rio
Registrant City: Santa Barbara
Registrant State/Province: California
Registrant Postal Code: 93111
Admin Name: Lorin Jeter
Admin Street: 5350 Paseo Rio
Admin City: Santa Barbara
Admin State/Province: California
Tech Name: Steve Parker
Tech Organization: Social Marketing Noise
Tech Street: 12472 Forest View St
Tech City: Broomfield
Tech State/Province: Colorado
Thanks. I don’t want to turn this into some wild goose chase for anyone else. I simply asked what the connection was. He can answer, or not.
here the answer :
http://www.witi.com/santabarbara/meeting.php?id=2722
Thanks
An Ot VII, that once was our client – we programmed his website- went to a seminar organised by wise and which cost a lot to learn about how he can get more traffic and clients onto his site. I warned him that his Website is optimized and that it would be a waste of money.
What he learned was to write a personal blog and and get as much links he can. He started his blog but only wrote 1-2 posts.
I just laughed my a.. off and this super OT that gave this nonsense Seminar had his pocket full of money.
This is the same Tom Burton who is a named defendant in a Ponzi Scheme. I do not know what the outcome of this was, or if it has concluded.
http://tonyortega.org/2013/05/06/lawsuit-alleges-church-of-scientology-in-utah-involved-in-ponzi-scheme/
I wonder if still there is some Scientologist able to discriminate between and ad and something for real…
I believe “in liaison” as used there is inappropriate.
But what would a Scientology promo piece be without some mangling of the language while “applying LRH tech”?
That three word phrase now means “to display one’s incompetence, especially with language.”
However, in using Google to see the unique, fantastic, unprecedented advertisements from the church of greed, the public also may encounter other factual news such as Narconon frauds, the broken families because of disconnection, the millions of dollars ripped off from parishioners, even this blog and they will see that not all is true.
And as reported by Alexa, their rank is pathetic so, a few advertisements are not going to protect their criminal activities.
Waterloo was for Naploeon Bonaparte, Googleloo is for David Miscavige.
PROMISE EVERYTHING , DELIVER NOTHING.
Napolean Bonaparte qoute
Thats about right for David Miscavige except you get STATUS !!!!!
yippee,whoo hoo !!!
Yeah, like Napoleon he’s learned that under the right conditions you can have people sacrifice themselves for you(financial in the Deadly Dwarfs’ case, their honor and lives’ in Boneys’) in return for titles and trinkets.
I went up the Bridge on Credit Cards.
You can go OT 8 in the Sea Org.
Let me debit your account and you can pay it back later.
Call them and get them to raise your limits.
Everyone that has read this now owe me $5,000.
since you don’t have to go to the Freewinds to get this vauable data
I LOVE your blog ! (Notice the amount of exclamation points).
I did this course on the Freewinds a few years ago. Tom Burton’s segment has absolutely nothing to do with LRH tech, but they have some bozzo named Davies giving the usual workshops on the tone scale and comm cycle to give the apparency that scn has all the dots joined as far as the internet goes. Also, I really learned nothing from the course as it lacked the one thing that LRH insists you should have on a course – mass. The ship had ridiculously inadequate bandwidth so we couldn’t practice what we were being learned!
Teletypes don’t need much bandwidth, you see.
They were planning to dock near a Starbucks on shore and pillage their bandwidth, but the regs had already taken everyone’s Starbucks cards.
You would think OT’ wouldn’t even need a computer or ISP to access the internet wirelessly?
Hell yes …. just tune in and drop out!
Way, way a head of you, Coop.
Tom Burton is a marketing expert and co-founder of a company that helps businesses, celebrities and media companies alike to define and implement strategies for creating “social businesses.”
Notice the do not mention Tom’s business name, most likely because no one has ever heard of it. Just like we’ve never heard of Tom Burton. My bet is this yet another Scnist who has re-invented themselves as an “internet expert”. All of their clients are Scn businesses owner and/or very, very minor “celebs.”
As an OTVII and the co-founder of “a company”, why is the name of said company not mentioned?
Because it filed for chapter 11 after the last event.
Somehow I don’t think you’re joking.
Arghhh, land lubbers! Why do a ship o’ the sea be present here? This seminar has the dirt under its feet and runs in the permanently beached hulk and former hospital ship Cedars of Lebanon.
Internet marketing has secret rules on
how to do a search on the internet, go to
a social networking site and how to email????
And only a person using LRH PR and
marketing tech can find these things out??
And when they do they will go OT….yikes
sign me up!
Their arrogance indeed knows no bounds; however, I must admit DM is one of the top experts at mind control and thought manipulation. I think if he gave a seminar on the subject and posted on the Internet, his Alexa rating would be drastically improved.
This looks like a wonderful opportunity for Tom Burton to promote his business. Getting people to the Freewinds? Not likely. That ship is sinking fast!
If he changed his first name to Tim, he’d have greater success.
In light of Ortega’s post today and all else Scientology, arrogance will be Miscavige’s undoing. Wait til Google Googles Scientology and Kool-Aid Scientologists Google Scientology.
I went to Ortega’s site and saw his latest
post. Brandy’s talk to the Valley Org is
one of the grandest shows of Scn. BS I have
ever seen/read rivaled only by HIM. And the
sheeple just lapped it up like a sponge in water.
She said……
“The difference between an Org and an Ideal Org
is like night and day”…..Really? Last time I looked they both
are supposed to be using the same LRH tech aren’t
they?
She’s actually telling the truth there. The difference is like that between night and day. That’s because the Idle Morgues can’t afford to keep the lights on.