One of our Special Correspondents took the time to take the Mintzmeat announcements over the last year and turn the stats into graphs.
While these stats do not reflect every week, they are a representative cross section of the stats over time. The numbers across the bottom simply represent the number of weeks worth of stats that have been collected — they are not sequential. It is 22 weeks over the last year. The weeks shown on the graphs as 0 are in fact “No Reports” and you can conclude from that the stats were not good for that week.
Remember also, Mr. Mintzt tended to put out the stats when they were GOOD. So, it is highly likely that many of the weeks you don’t see reflected here were weeks of POOR stats and they would generally make the graphs look worse.
These graphs tells you for sure that either the “massive, straight up and vertical expansion” happening “everywhere” is not making it to Flag, OR, there is no massive straight up and vertical expansion.
I would bet everything I own on the latter rather than the former. As Flag is rapacious at rounding up people who should be being serviced at their local org and persuading them to come to Flag where the “tech is perfect.”
The only stat with any sort of long term uptrend is L’s Completions — a strange fact. Nothing was changed with the L’s with GAG II. It just carries on with the same old miscompiled tech that Miscavige has complained about NUMEROUS times (“LRH said the L’s needed urgent fix up and I have not had the time to do it” — 15 years this story has been repeated). Wonder how many have chosen to do the L’s rather than redoing the Purif and Objectives as a way of avoiding the embarrassment of going back down the Bridge.
The other glaring fact is that Super Power completions average less than 20 per week. This is a lousy return on a $200 million dollar building and endless hype. Less than 2000 people on the entire planet have done SP. They have DECLARED more people than that in the same time. If there are 10 million scientologists that is one in 5,000 and the flock is no longer obeying Dear Leader. But in truth it is more like 2,000 out of 50,000 or 4% which is more likely. Or even 10% as the one thing about the sheeple that remain — they ARE compliant. That would put the total number of scientologists in the world at 20,000.
Any way you look at it, these graphs tell a VERY different story than what blabbers forth from Dear Leader and his spokespuppets.
Aquamarine says
Except for Cause Regurgitatingness, the others are trending Emergency..
Shelley says
Those stats look like something out of a Grey’s Anatomy episode. “OK stand back……Zzzzzt” Bleep Bleep Bleeeeeeep………..”Ok Dr, crank it up to 360 – stand back! “ZZZZZZT ……Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleeeeeeeeep……………….
“OK, guys, call it”. Patient died at 01h00.
I Better go tell the family (says Doctor ripping of masks and gloves as he exits the OR).
sheeplebane says
FLAG! The ultimate sheeple farm!
First the sheeple are convinced that COB is divine sheppard. Then they are herded into their respective pens for selective shearing based on quantity of wool. Some are made to be handlers due to poor wool yeild. Others are made into professional herders out in the pastures. Soon those who have been fleeced into cold nakedness are introduced to the next phase, FLAG slaughter house! Sheeple are butchered into lamb shanks, lamb ribs, lamb chops and lastly lamb mince! Wasting nothing even bone meal is crushed to feed the gluttonous wolf known as COB!
Anyone who broke out deserves an Iron cross for valor, courage under fire and a gouvernment dissability fund! Its that bad!
Pepper says
+1!
Hallie Jane says
I still cringe when I see these graphs reminding me of the stat mania that Scn has practiced for decades. It is truly so stupid to count everything you do all day. When you focus on your purpose and products you care about, the stats take care of themselves. Yet another singular item that has ruined Scn organizations, among others.
Michael Mallen says
Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Espiando says
“Vulgar mistake” is the shortest and best description of the SP Building that I can imagine.
Michael Mallen says
Goes along with all the fake VMs.
Sid says
During those 22 weeks they apparently had about 8 people attest to the state of Clear per week for a total of approximately 176 attests.
During that time the population of Planet Earth increased by around 30,800,000.
Mreppen says
I wonder what FSO’s Gross Income and VSD is these days. Oh, it’s probably secret.
Karen#1 says
The Ls “completions” are a completely bogus fraudulently stat.
Every time a repair cycle returns to Flag to repair the L , it is re-counted as an L completion.
They are even *Newly* announced and applauded.
Some return to Flag as much as 10-11 times to repair the “3 swing of the needle” FN “L Rundown.”
Each time it is counted as a New L completition.
LDW says
Ahhhhh… that explains it
Joe Pendleton says
Good point Karen.
The stats of the FSO will be flat with certain spikes up depending on circumstances, until they begin to fall without ever recovering. The reason why is quite simple. Eventually there just won’t be enough public who will even be available for call in. Outside of the Tampa Bay area, how many Scientologists are there in the entire world who can even afford to come to Flag? 1,500? I bet much less. And I’m talking just for the airfare, hotel, food and running program. Once all the area public are cannibalized, there just won’t be any people to reg anymore. I’m guessing five years, could be three, could be seven.
In fact, the whole CoS is pretty much being kept afloat by baby boomers who still have cash and credit and yes, some of the whales. But we boomers (I’m 64) will almost all be dead 20 years from now, and I’m years younger than your Jessups, Duggans, etc. Do y’all REALLY think the Feshbachs have 20 years left? And once Nancy, Kirstie and JT drop off, there won’t be any major celebs either (ok. TC is only in his early 50s, but time marches on). Once the people who can cough up the dough are dead and gone, folks … game over. (except that there no doubt will be a few very saavy SO folks who work out how to deal with all the real estate and live VERY richly the rest of their lives).
I Yawnalot says
Good GOD! I stand corrected on even the most stretched imagination they might be delivering something.
Is there a lie found and exposed stat? Guess so… It’s Mike’s site.
RolandRB says
Thanks, Karen. I think that the point of this deception is to give the impression to the big-donor IAS whales that Flag is earning a lot of money from auditing services and that their IAS donations are just icing on the cake used for worldwide expansion and helping disadvantaged people, whereas the truth is that their IAS donations are the only thing keeping the Orgs running and paying their bills because there is very little money coming in from elsewhere.
RolandRB says
I just thought: IAS = Income from Auditing Surrogates 🙂
GAT 2 was a 3 needle swings F/N Tech Breakthrough(tm). GAT 3 will be a 4 needle swings F/N Tech Breakthrough. Nearly all the completion announcements these days and in the future will be cheaply-sold, new-GAT, needle-swing tests. The only real earning from auditing these days is not from auditing but rather from the six-monthly Sec Checks on OT VII.
IAS funds must make up about 90% of Church income these days. It made up most of it before, of course, going back the past ten years.
Just imagine if you were one of the big-donor IAS whales and you went bankrupt. You were told that you were helping expansion and saving the planet when all you were doing was making up for the lack of income due to destroyed Scientology Tech, done by a squirrel midget. Imagine if you were now facing retirement on skid row, sleeping in a cardboard box, when, if your Church had been honest with you, you would still be rich today. Still, if you’ve got no money then you can’t sue to get your money back. Your only option would be to report it as fraud to the police but then they would not want to get involved in a “religious dispute” whereby the loser had signed a contract to agree to “religious arbitration” in case of this sort of situation.
It makes me chuckle. 🙂
Pepper says
Very good point Karen!
It made me think how the “three swing of the needle” F/N is responsible for a lot of padded gross income and boosted stats. Genius way to keep people messed up and keep coming back for more, which results in more money in the bank while giving the appearance that the church is delivering great products. Ha!
overrunincalifornia says
Well you know there wouldn’t be any stats except that Scientologists expect them. Very inconvenient.
But since they are the elephant in the room, got to shine them up real good. Good enough to blind a bit anyway.
Michael Mallen says
PTS/SP end phenomena changed from confront and shatter suppression to defunct with robotic expression.
scientology411 says
Why doesn’t Captain Miscavige send in a special Flag-trained crew to straighten out this downstat org like he did with L.A. org? Oh wait…
Michael Mallen says
Cap’n Dave is crewless.
cindy says
We stand tall,
No going back
No backing down
Hey la de dah
Hey la de we stand tall,
We kept our balls
They are intact.
We stand tall
Integrity
We have it all!
jgg2012 says
You left out some stats, Mike. # of interviews Miscavige has done to respond to Alex Gibney: 0. Number of Ideal Orgs opened in 2015: 0. Number of “clears” who really are perfect clears, in the past 12 months: 0. Number of lawsuits pending against Narconon: at least 45, and counting. Number of websites soliciting additional plaintiffs to sue Narconon: at least 2, and counting.
scnethics says
And these stats are so great, Flag is making an extra effort to promote them and brag about them. Wow. And we waited 15 years for the Super Power building for this??? There may be more people who reached Cornerstone ($35,000) donation level to the project than have actually done the rundown!
Roger Hornaday says
DM has just about exhausted all his options for breathing new life into scientology. Desperate times call for desperate measures and I think it’s time to bring LRH back to the MEST universe. DM needs to find a kid or young adult and introduce him to the world as the reincarnation of Ron Hubbard who has returned from the theta universe with GENUINELY NEW TECH! This will be the biggest news EVER! If the Dalai Lama can do it so can Hubbard.
Jose Chung says
It’s like Scientology is tied to the railroad tracks and the train
is coming fast blowing it’s horn.
Me thinks there will be no GAT 3.
RolandRB says
GAT 2 never truly got off the ground so I think you are correct in that there will be no GAT 3. But maybe GAT 3 will be a simple action like declaring a F/N to be 4 free swings of the needle instead of 3 so every Scientologists worldwide will have to go to Flag to reconfirm all the levels they have attested to as a 4 swing F/N (which will be announced as new achievements and mega-mega-mega expansion).
Michael Mallen says
“It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing.” ~ Duke Ellington
Aquamarine says
Michael,
To the Master (you) do I respectfully suggest a slight modification:
“It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got 3 swings”
Michael Mallen says
Agreed!
cindy says
Yes! Duke Ellington would be proud.
Michael Mallen says
And he definitely didn’t and wouldn’t swing with Scientology.
Pepper says
The “four swing of the needle” F/N must come to fruition at some point in the near future because the (warehouse) mark 8 meter reads 50,000 times more sensitive that then mark 7. So the F/N’s have got to get bigger. At least by one swing, don’t you think?
This will be “discovered” very soon, by C.O.B. when it’s time to recycle the devout and when it nicely coincides with an upcoming major event.
Michael Mallen says
Do they actually say 50,000 times more sensitive? (I never saw the promo). If so, that is equivalent to saying Albert Einstein was 50,000 times cooler than Isaac Newton.
cindy says
“The other glaring fact is that Super Power completions average less than 20 per week. This is a lousy return on a $200 million dollar building and endless hype. Less than 2000 people on the entire planet have done SP. They have DECLARED more people than that in the same time.”
Pete2 says
I heard that people at Superpower now are FSMs’ children. There is a $25,000 charge if they tell anyone about what they are doing.
threefeetback says
Dave,
Your statistics look like a death spiral. Have you put your affairs in order and prepared for a life without Tom? And, without tax exemption? Maybe life in a five foot by ten foot cell with a tiolet, sink, and a bed? Tell Lou to Google Charles Manson and start establishing your new ecclesiastical desert cult communication lines.
jgg2012 says
He won’t notice. He is busy working 100 hours a week, opening new ideal orgs.
Michael Mallen says
The only problem is that his orgs are eye-deal, not ideal.
I Yawnalot says
Your Ls analysis is interesting Mike. The last of those still in that exhibit any sort of intelligence. Better grab an L or two rather than redo the purify and objectives. That’s such a poor choice to be offered by the mecca of technical perfection = you get to the top and suddenly (but silently, don’t dare talk of this) become aware your only options for processing/services are the purif and objectives (again) or the Ls. You’ve already been thoroughly disabused of training, GOOD GOD! miscavige killed that side of the bridge off years ago with the Basics forever runway and 3 swings for he’s a golly good fellow!
It’s not only a circular bridge – it’s a bridge to financial and intellectual ruin. “kay ser rah ser rah…” silly bastards!
Longtime lurker says
Dear Mike,
This isn’t pertinent to the post about Flag stats; I would like to suggest a couple of potential topics for future posts from you, I hope it isn’t inappropriate to do so here. I believe that you are probably the best-placed person to address questions about David Miscavige’s mental set, particularly with regard to public relations. I suspect that I am not the only reader who wonders about these issues, especially at this HBO moment.
1. The absence of any Scientology spokesperson to answer questions from the press or engage in dialogue is increasingly conspicuous. It is hard to imagine the CEO of any other organization refusing to respond to high-profile accusations of the sort being presented in the “Going Clear” documentary (smear letters from Karin Pouw or legal threats from Monique Yingling do not fulfil that function). Miscavige must know that it is to his disadvantage to appear unwilling to defend his organization. It seems clear that he could do at least some damage control by either speaking to the press himself or advancing one or more reasonable-seeming spokespeople who will talk with the press, including before the cameras. Why won’t Miscavige do this? (Clearly, the church has a long history of public spokespersons, including yourself, so the absence of even one can’t be explained away as some kind of LRH policy.)
2. The big question for me is: what does Miscavige think he’s doing? I presume that he doesn’t wake up in the morning and rub his hands with glee at the idea that he’ll ruin families and bankrupt a few suckers today. Virtually no one sees himself as malevolent; they rationalize their behavior. What do you think Miscavige tells himself?
Thank for considering these.
hgc10 says
Hi Longtime, I’ll take a crack at why no public spokesperson for Scientology. It’s because it has come to the point that hiding out is actually the better alternative. Imagine Tommy Davis was still making the rounds.. What could he possibly answer to any of a thousand different questions where he wouldn’t look more ridiculous than they do by not providing any live person. My god, one of Mr. Davis’ last official acts was to throw down his microphone and storm off an interview set. That was his best alternative at the time. It’s only worse now. This lack of ability to interface the press is just another of many wheels to come off the clown car. For Miscavige himself, it’s even worse. There’s a reason he hasn’t appeared in over 20 years — he wouldn’t know how to be relatable even under favorable circumstances.
Michael Mallen says
Simple answer: they’re scared shitless!
Michael Mallen says
They’re really getting desperate!
Kathy Haggis Interview: Paul Haggis Lies: http://youtu.be/YsiU8xJCX5k
Mike Rinder says
I guess Dear Leader has figured out how to “destroy his enemies” by getting their sheeple family members to talk shit about them.
He felt the sting of this with Jenna Miscavige and the blowback on Shelly and probably had an “Aha” moment.
It is sad to see these people being manipulated like this. Paul Haggis’ sister, Sara Goldberg’s daughter, Spanky’s ex-husband, my ex-wife, children and brother. Anyone they can dig up, hand a script to, shout “action” and roll the cameras.
I think Miscavige had better watch out. Karma is a real bitch.
Michael Mallen says
Character assassination too often backfires.
Longtime lurker says
Thanks, HGC10. I guess it may be as simple as that–they just can’t imagine how to spin their story to a vigorous press corps. While there’s no LRH policy against talking to the press, I suppose that any “reasonable” approach to the charges would require deviating from Hubbard’s crazy policies, such as “attack the attacker” and “disconnection.”
Eclipse-girl says
If you are the LTL who was at the Bunker,
I am encouraging you to return.
visitor says
These charts correlate with the observation that, at times, the criminal cult of $cientology pushes their few remaining victims to take or retake certain bridge steps. That causes a short-term increase, followed by collapse. $cientology is a zombie, feeding off the few $ the tapped-out victims still have.
Criminal cult leader David Miscavige can keep the zombie going for a while on reserves – if he bankrolls the Valley Org from reserves that will confirm his intentions – but that will only delay the demise. Miscavige is a tiny man but he has a huge ego and is massively evil; he needs to have people listen to him, even if they are hired extras. It sucks to be Miscavige, as Mike often says.
Michael Mallen says
In his States of Existence, Hubbard omitted one below confusion – the condition of Miscavige. The formula is: “Find out you’re not in power.”
Aquamarine says
Michael, I know you’re joking and its cute, but a week ago I realized that many still ins are in Confusion. They don’t know where they are. They think they’re in a world where Scientology is expanding (expanding, that is, everywhere except where they happen to be) when actually it is severely shrinking, not only in their area but globally. They got into Confusion because at some point they could not confront doing the Doubt Formula. They refused to observe, refused to examine statistics. At some point, their own observations, their own common sense and basic perceptions, differed widely from what they were being told. That’s Doubt. But they could not, or would not do this formula, and so they got the next lowest condition, Enemy, and then Treason, and then Confusion. No Still In who is in “good standing” can be a condition higher than Enemy. At the highest, when they know that they know, they’d be in Enemy, but without doing the Enemy formula they would drop into Treason, and not doing that, drop permanently into Confusion. Poor, deluded devils. All because, at some point, they were in Doubt, blinked, and said to themselves, “No way. I can’t be in Doubt!” They Not-Is ed it.
Michael Mallen says
Yes, I see your point. Davey, however, has to work up to confusion – he’ll have lots of time in the big house.
Michael Mallen says
What’s it all about, Davey
Is it just for the money you live
What’s it all about when you sort it out, Davey
Are you meant to take more than you give
Or are you meant to be kind
And if only fools are kind, Davey
Then I guess it’s wise to be cruel
And if life belongs only to the rich, Davey
How much more will you bleed the whales
As sure as I know there’s an end to your reign, Davey
I know there’s something much more
Something even critics can believe in
I believe in truth, Davey
No matter how it makes you pissed, Davey
Until you find the truth you’ve missed you’re nothing, Davey
When you walk armed guards will lead the way
And you’ll find it’s judgment day, Davey, Davey
Aquamarine says
Michael, I’m dying, you’re killing me here 🙂
Michael Mallen says
Thanks Aquamarine!
KFrancis says
Well these declining stats and poor attendance can be easily explained by Dave. Clearly, staff in all Orgs is simply not committed to their work and the public are so involved in day to day out-ethics activities that they can no longer take responsibility for their own eternity.
Dave has worked tirelessly for 30 years but sadly his work is made difficult by the internet, easy travel to vacation destinations and exciting sports franchises that distract us with passing fun and excitement. I’m sure he considers it all very sad that he tried to guide the way to spiritual freedom but we allowed ourselves to become fatally enchanted with life’s simple pleasures. No reflection on him really, it’s just that we all found other fish to fry.
Michael Mallen says
So sad. Now Davey won’t be able to release OT IX and X which I have on good authority finally answers the age old question Scientologists have been asking themselves since Heck was a pup: ‘Do fish swim?’
McCarran says
Mike, I think your number of 20,000 scientologists worldwide is more accurate than the 50,000 being estimated on the recent press junkets.
Are you home now, Mike? If so, what was your take on your recents travels. 🙂
from83 says
Mike and others like to use the 50,000 number because it has a LOT of padding. They don’t want the church to be able to prove them wrong. Because if the church could prove to have say 21,253 active members, they would then say you see the media is out to get us and has to lie because we’re the most ethical group on the planet!!! That’s why even MIKE likes to say lets be generous and say they have 50,000 members even though he thinks they have somewhere short of 20,000 but he only thinks that what he knows for sure is they don’t have more the 50,000 members. Hell, they only have 197,166 likes on Facebook which is low considering they buy around 10K likes a day. Speaking of which that state is down week over week. Policy paraphrase: NEVER TELL A LIE ON A PR LINE.
Michael Mallen says
It would be interesting if Facebook had a Not like button.
SILVIA says
The Ls’ stat looks OK, however, it seems they average 25 a week. Yet, you have 50 Ls auditors, so half of them are basically idle ones.
Objectives’ stat is declining and this is going to reflect later on the SP RD comps, it will go down and down.
Never in history, unprecedented disaster looms at what was once an org – Flag – that used to deliver much, much, much more than this.
Michael Mallen says
I would amend one of the lines on Hubbard’s Chart of Attitudes to read, “The future is endlessly horrible.”
Old Surfer Dude says
Your future of eternity (whatever the fuck that means) is going to be full of pain, sorrow and regret. Seriously, I”m not kidding…
Michael Mallen says
If it doesn’t harm it’s not Scientology.â„¢
A never in says
I wonder what big event/push/announcement correlates to the spikes
Especially the OTVII (was that around the time ol Kendrick finally graduated? Nancy?)
They really seem to like keeping the clams stuck there paying for sec checks etc
Jose Chung says
Never in,
Possible answer,Staff showing up naked handing out free money.
morelivesthanacat says
Your correspondent simply forgot to tilt all the graphs up 45% on the right after removing all those flat spots on the bottom. Golden Age of Management.
Espiando says
If you live by stats, you die by stats. This, all of you UTRs who peek in here, is what death looks like. Not a bang, but a whimper. And there is nothing Flag, or anyone in RCS, can do to stop it.
Chee Chalker says
“Not with a bang, but with a whimper…….not even a whimper, but with a shrug.”. Peter Tork on the demise of The Monkees. Seems to apply to $cientology as well.
cindy says
Well said, Espiando. It is going out with a whimper.
Michael Mallen says
A whole new level of ineptitude.
Old Surfer Dude says
A whole new world of ineptitude…
Michael Mallen says
The next step for enforcing GAT will be the young MAA no longer brandishing swagger sticks but gatling guns.
TrevAnon says
Actual graphs about COS with scales. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never seen these before… 😛
from83 says
I always thought they just waited for the stats to pile up for a few weeks then sent out the gospel. OT, My Father and I have our tickets for 13th 5:15pm. I’ll try and arrive early and mingle!
Old Surfer Dude says
Michael Mallen and I will be there to greet you, from83! I’ll have on a Hawaiian shirt and I’m tall. Come to me and speak the secret code…
roger gonnet says
So, that’s danger, despite the fact that I di never think that Hubbard was a good manager regarding stats. Doing weekly satats is insana. It’ is already difficult to interpret trends on three months or yearly stats… so, hoping one could get anything from a weekly number is ridiule for me: that’s why, having been before scientology a consultant for industrial companies, I never applied hubbard’s insanities. Too short to hope to get a real view of what happens.
Even on one year account, one can get trapped. Take a look at what happens in the stock exchange or in countries.
The best is that even on such a “scientology service” as you observe above , the Ls, the stat can lead to wrong décisions. Ls figures are in fact based on the long term reputation of “secret” for those buying these, not on the value of the so-called service. The same was seen when Hubbard decided to fabricate the “dianetics clers” and “natural clears”. Stats raged on OT levels!!
But he saw that it was’nt possible for his Tech teams to treat all these new clears on OT levels, and invented then the new OT levels. Always look at how he decided new things. Money is always behind…
FOTF2012 says
Right! Weekly stats are insane — on purpose. (1) You are always scrambling to get them up and turned in — critical reasoning goes by the wayside. (2) The cult pressure and the pseudo-importance of these stats gives people an internal justification to cut corners, fudge reality, get creative with their accounting, fraudulently reg people using their credit cards on money on account, and so on. In other words, it becomes easy to act unethically, even criminally, when you have no time to think and process and your indoctrination tells you that anything for the church is for the greater good.