Apologies if you heard this one, speaking of disconnection, cult expert Alexandra Stein in her book Terror, Love and Brainwashing describes the relationships we have with people outside of a cult, especially close ones in which the people may support us emotionally and financially without question as “escape hatch” relationships we can use when the cult shifts from love bombing us to being cruel, controlling, and abusive.
She described how a cult is like a controlling boyfriend who might, for example, pretend to be caring and romantic, considerate and tender to get a woman to fall for him then perhaps after she moves in or marries him and he feels she would be humiliated if she left him, or unable to survive financially or support children without him, he quits the act and his true abusive and controlling side, his true personality, comes out.
If a cult can get you to reject outsiders, especially ones who could support you emotionally and financially if you leave the cult, so thoroughly that you would be humiliated to try to reconnect and they might not help you, then the cult can “isolate and engulf” you as Stein describes.
She really breaks it down in a way that I have never seen anyone else do as she combines the work of Hannah Arendt on totalitarian regimes and John Bowlby and attachment theory and neuroscience and sociology to form a cohesive whole, that she gives ample simple explanations and examples for, so it is easy to understand.
I have read dozens of books on cults and relationships and psychology and she presents ideas that are useful, understandable for lay people, and not generally given in the work of most books on the topic.
Here’s an interesting fact.
All my friends and relatives disconnected from me when they learned I was in $ciemtology. True. The only one who said anything to me was a sister who told me I should get the fuck out. Then never talked to me again.
Sadly the only one was my mom. I say sadly because she was quite elderly and needed to be cared for. She was most comfortable staying home and didn’t really want a “senior care facility”. So I kept her in the home she’d raised me in and I took care of her personally every day. I did this throughout her remaining years and she passed peacefully in the home she’d always loved. I was able to give back to the ONE PERSON who ever gave me anything.
Remaining relatives never responded to any reach from me. Their choice and I am fine with that. I sort of conclude they’ve shown their true colors.
In the 1970’s and probably into the1980’s after I left no one would have said “left the church”. They would have said left scientology, left the organization, or just split or blew. Things changed.
In the late 1970’s when I was studying at ASHO in LA there was talk about a woman who was walking around talking about scn as her church. I didn’t know her but it was a topic of conversation.
Myself and the people I knew would have avoided a “churchy” person, thinking them rather odd.
Agreement, Richard.
IMO, we who were “in” before the ’80s knew full well that the scientology organization was by no means a church, so we didn’t leave, or in my case get kicked out of a church, it was scientology, an organization dedicated to selling a ‘science’ which wasn’t, masquerading as a church when it could to get the financial boon of tax exemption and protection of it’s illegal practices. Since then, how many times have its lawyers successfully argued that it’s graft, corruption, and harassment of others is protected as ‘religious’ practices?
IF there’s a definition of religion which adequately covers scientology, it would also admit the Mafia and KKK as religions. They’re about as constructive as scientology, after all.
Oh, the mindless mental machinations you can get locked in to. This RB strip restimulated the pleasure moment I had when I first realized I was no longer connected to this insane cult. Still feels good.
Oh Lord Zenu, it WAS awful! It was as if they were TRYING to make the worst movie ever, and somehow succeeded. Most attempts at awful mysteriously miss the mark and turn out tragically comic.
NOT “Battlefield Earth”
I finally got to watch Battlefield Earth recently, after wanting to see it for about 15 years. Unfortunately, it isn’t a fun kind of bad movie, it was just really awful.
I watched it a number of times because I was going to get some sense out of it. But, life it too short. Gold, John Travolta in a career-ending role, some guy who could fly stuff. That’s about all I remember.
One reviewer put it: “You know how some movies are so bad they’re good? Well this one goes on past that, and loops back around to where it’s just bad again.”
This Regarded Being is brilliant, as always. It also raises an interesting issue.
The power of disconnection is based on the fear that you will lose all of your family members, friends and business associates.
What happens when you realize that you have more disconnected family members, friends and business associates outside Scientology than you have family members, friends and business associates inside Scientology?
Add the fact that the primary loyalty of your family members, “friends” and business associates inside Scientology is to Scientology, and not to you. That you know that they will disconnect from you if instructed to do so by the church. That, conversely, your family members, friends and business associates outside Scientology will welcome you with open arms.
Never interrupt the enemy while it’s making a mistake.
Do let’s trust the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology to make the worst decisions. All us antis are so lucky that the Co$ management is genuinely awful at being an organisation. Just about the only thing that genuinely works is the religion angle, keeping the Co$ out of the reach of the long arm of the law, in the US. (Until someone in the know spills the beans on the undercover agents in police forces interfering with investigations, at which point it ought to be Game Over.)
My big realization was that there ARE no “friends” in scientology. You’re at most ‘useful’ to them at any particular moment. One you’re not useful, you’re nothing!
This latest regraded being is so true – having been on solo nots, you really try to avoid situations that will crop up in your next 6 months check. I was always amazed how I would get dragged down into endless end ruds trying to F/N the final sec check in the AO HGC so I could work on my on base solo sessions, and leave the base.
The most startling were the people who would blaze through their sec checks in a couple days. I think, in all sincerity, they thought happy thoughts, or similar ploys, and F/Ned the majority of the sec check questions. Maybe gave up a W/H or two, but didn’t get dragged into the mud of long w/h chains etc.
FYI – when you go to flag for a 6 mos check – you go to the HGC for a quick review, then get a sec check, then get sent to ethics to get handling, possibly work out of lowers and finally get interviewed and an ok to go forward) You could study and do the drills and crams in the solo nots course rooms in the mean time when not in session, but not much else until the C/S oked the ethics handling.
To make matters worse – people like me who were going slow on the sec checks, would get bumped as thursday approached, and they pushed the fast ones through for completions ( their stat) then after thursday at 2, production collapsed until late in the day or friday, because they had to write up stats etc. Then things resumed.
Nailed it again RB. Thank you for making me laugh at the crazy mind set of a Scientology cult member under the influence of CRAZY.
I once was one of those crazy Scientologists.
Now, I can laugh and cringe about it at the same time.
Heh, anyone know where “CRINGE” is on the Emotional Tone Scale ole man Hubbard made up? It has to be near embarassed, humiliated and mortified beyond belief.
Can you imagine if the truth were told in Scientology about that criminal con man alcoholic drug addict loser, L Ron Hubbard and the REAL life he lived? Doctor Hubbard – a self proclaimed Doctor ( with no education) who actuallky called himself a Doctor until it was audited out of Scientology for PR reasons, not because it was a LIE.
So many LIES they tell you about L Ron in that crazy cult.
No one would stay in Scientology, well, except for David Miscavige.
He is just like L Ron Hubbard. Cruel, inhumane and a psychopathic socio path that enjoys harming others.
“Cringe”, without all the lies, there would be no scientology. Peddling false cures for non-existent maladies.
Pretty good living it gave to the inventor.
IF you call cowering away in a nowhere “ranch” in a converted bus living. Personally, I think he was too preoccupied with avoiding arrest and conviction for his crimes to enjoy anything approaching a real life. Even on the Apollo, he never stopped hiding from deserved prosecution.
Since 2012, Farrakhan has also pushed for a “long and beautiful relationship” with Scientology, with thousands of NOI members now studying the fringe ideology.* Though L. Ron Hubbard—the science fiction author around whose writings Scientology is based—specifically dismissed the existence of Allah, several members of the Nation of Islam began following the pseudo-religion in the early 21st century.*
* * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *’
Direct link to the full 17 page PDF Report, which has more information regarding the Nation of Islam’s relationship with Scientology in the Footnotes and History section:
These links about the negative extremism of NOT are very biased. The writing is obviously done by individuals who are hyper critical of Black Nationalism. The Fruit of Islam Ministers are a positive influence in East Tampa. Unfortunately, they have dwindled in number over the last several weeks probably due to these racist comments widely spreading. There is no better organization to take over and control Scientology that NOI. This transformation should be encouraged.
George, Is that for real or are you being sarcastic?
Of COURSE, an anti-extremist source will be critical of a hyper-extreme group like the NOI. I, for one, am not to my knowledge a “devil” bent on repressing/suppressing Blacks. When I deal with people, I deal with them as *people*. Blacks merely have better tans than I have ever achieved. (no joke, I AM slightly jealous).
Another great RB. The wife bit about “…disconnect from… because they had disconnected from… because they had disconnected from… because…” makes me think of a memorable 1970s television commercial for “Fabergé wheat germ and honey” shampoo.
The commercial starts out with one person in the screen who explains how, talking about the shampoo, “I told 2 friends, and then they told 2 friends, and so on, and so on, and so on.” The single image replicates and multiplies till several small images, like a bee colony, take up the entire screen.
The customary genius of “Regraded Being.” Our left-the-group loved ones can be like a colony. At some point, you realize it is the colony you vastly prefer to be a part. I think we can forecast where the wife is headed, after she gets through the enforced amends in Central Files!
A decided to leave the cult after they were told to disconnect from B who decided to leave the cult because they were told to disconnect from their daughter who was told to disconnect from her husband who was told to disconnect from his mother who decided to leave the scam because they were told to disconnect from all their children who had been disconnected from their children who had decided to sue the cult because they were told to disconnect from themselves?
How the F can anyone disconnect from themselves? That must require super powers. Too bad there is no way to get super powers by disconnection.
This cult is madness heaped upon insanity along side crazy.
Absolutely true. I remember that exact day well. I had just left the SO through the RPF. I was in the street and suddenly I realized that I no longer had anyone to report something or orders to receive or threats or impossible schedules or all the other nonsense bullshit to deal with.
Life, mine, was in my hands again. And it didn’t matter if for better or for worse – it was mine again.
What a super “key out” feeling!
I wonder if we can start a new religion dedicated to the proposition that all people deserve to see the disconnection this cult from our world and throwing its leader into the penitentiary?
Skyler, I agree with the sentiment, but Dwarfenführer has insulated himself too well from reality for his crimes to be prosecuted.
His crusade to eliminate scientology completely from modern life is working well, though. THOSE stats are straight up and vertical, so to speak. There are now 47-X more people out here willing his success than are “in” keeping scientology wanting
47 people, hmmmm …. I would guess those are the people who are thinking about what will happen when DwarfenDork eventually dies. There must be some people hoping to inherit that 3 Billion dollars and immediately liquidate it all and get the cash into some Swiss banks just as quickly as they can and then …. disappear!
On the day they disappear and this hideous cult collapses leaving a bunch of people carrying placards and standing in front of Big Blue with very puzzled looks on their faces thinking …. “Oh my! What should we do now? Can you spare two dollars for a cup of coffee?”
And things will only continue to get worse in the cult without end. The only thing greater than human evil may be human stupidity.
Apologies if you heard this one, speaking of disconnection, cult expert Alexandra Stein in her book Terror, Love and Brainwashing describes the relationships we have with people outside of a cult, especially close ones in which the people may support us emotionally and financially without question as “escape hatch” relationships we can use when the cult shifts from love bombing us to being cruel, controlling, and abusive.
She described how a cult is like a controlling boyfriend who might, for example, pretend to be caring and romantic, considerate and tender to get a woman to fall for him then perhaps after she moves in or marries him and he feels she would be humiliated if she left him, or unable to survive financially or support children without him, he quits the act and his true abusive and controlling side, his true personality, comes out.
If a cult can get you to reject outsiders, especially ones who could support you emotionally and financially if you leave the cult, so thoroughly that you would be humiliated to try to reconnect and they might not help you, then the cult can “isolate and engulf” you as Stein describes.
She really breaks it down in a way that I have never seen anyone else do as she combines the work of Hannah Arendt on totalitarian regimes and John Bowlby and attachment theory and neuroscience and sociology to form a cohesive whole, that she gives ample simple explanations and examples for, so it is easy to understand.
I have read dozens of books on cults and relationships and psychology and she presents ideas that are useful, understandable for lay people, and not generally given in the work of most books on the topic.
Here’s an interesting fact.
All my friends and relatives disconnected from me when they learned I was in $ciemtology. True. The only one who said anything to me was a sister who told me I should get the fuck out. Then never talked to me again.
Glenn now that you are out you should have got back in touch with them right? I hope so.
Hi, Loosing my Religion
Sadly the only one was my mom. I say sadly because she was quite elderly and needed to be cared for. She was most comfortable staying home and didn’t really want a “senior care facility”. So I kept her in the home she’d raised me in and I took care of her personally every day. I did this throughout her remaining years and she passed peacefully in the home she’d always loved. I was able to give back to the ONE PERSON who ever gave me anything.
Remaining relatives never responded to any reach from me. Their choice and I am fine with that. I sort of conclude they’ve shown their true colors.
Good work in looking after your mum. A selfless act and sadly not one that everybody would undertake even though they should.
In the 1970’s and probably into the1980’s after I left no one would have said “left the church”. They would have said left scientology, left the organization, or just split or blew. Things changed.
Scientologists in a discussion about their church. How religious.
In the late 1970’s when I was studying at ASHO in LA there was talk about a woman who was walking around talking about scn as her church. I didn’t know her but it was a topic of conversation.
Myself and the people I knew would have avoided a “churchy” person, thinking them rather odd.
Maybe current scientologists think of scn as a “different kind of church”. Whatever works.
Agreement, Richard.
IMO, we who were “in” before the ’80s knew full well that the scientology organization was by no means a church, so we didn’t leave, or in my case get kicked out of a church, it was scientology, an organization dedicated to selling a ‘science’ which wasn’t, masquerading as a church when it could to get the financial boon of tax exemption and protection of it’s illegal practices. Since then, how many times have its lawyers successfully argued that it’s graft, corruption, and harassment of others is protected as ‘religious’ practices?
IF there’s a definition of religion which adequately covers scientology, it would also admit the Mafia and KKK as religions. They’re about as constructive as scientology, after all.
Oh, the mindless mental machinations you can get locked in to. This RB strip restimulated the pleasure moment I had when I first realized I was no longer connected to this insane cult. Still feels good.
I can’t even watch a review of the movie on You Tube.
Oh Lord Zenu, it WAS awful! It was as if they were TRYING to make the worst movie ever, and somehow succeeded. Most attempts at awful mysteriously miss the mark and turn out tragically comic.
NOT “Battlefield Earth”
Cheers, Chris Shugart!
I finally got to watch Battlefield Earth recently, after wanting to see it for about 15 years. Unfortunately, it isn’t a fun kind of bad movie, it was just really awful.
I TOTALLY AGREE Moose.
I saw it as just as boring and confusing as everything I studied in the cult.
I watched it a number of times because I was going to get some sense out of it. But, life it too short. Gold, John Travolta in a career-ending role, some guy who could fly stuff. That’s about all I remember.
Jaquelin sputtered:”John Travolta in a career-ending role.”
Ain’t it the truth? AFAIK, he’s not done anything since. IMDB has him doing a Capital One ad, but I haven’t seen it.
That’s what I heard. Not the kind of bad movie you can watch and make fun of, but just plain bad. Boring bad.
One reviewer put it: “You know how some movies are so bad they’re good? Well this one goes on past that, and loops back around to where it’s just bad again.”
This Regarded Being is brilliant, as always. It also raises an interesting issue.
The power of disconnection is based on the fear that you will lose all of your family members, friends and business associates.
What happens when you realize that you have more disconnected family members, friends and business associates outside Scientology than you have family members, friends and business associates inside Scientology?
Add the fact that the primary loyalty of your family members, “friends” and business associates inside Scientology is to Scientology, and not to you. That you know that they will disconnect from you if instructed to do so by the church. That, conversely, your family members, friends and business associates outside Scientology will welcome you with open arms.
What is the rational decision?
/
Ssshhhh!
Never interrupt the enemy while it’s making a mistake.
Do let’s trust the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology to make the worst decisions. All us antis are so lucky that the Co$ management is genuinely awful at being an organisation. Just about the only thing that genuinely works is the religion angle, keeping the Co$ out of the reach of the long arm of the law, in the US. (Until someone in the know spills the beans on the undercover agents in police forces interfering with investigations, at which point it ought to be Game Over.)
The RATIONAL decision? Well, RUN!!! of course.
My big realization was that there ARE no “friends” in scientology. You’re at most ‘useful’ to them at any particular moment. One you’re not useful, you’re nothing!
After all those disconnections, my right arm fell off. Now I need two arms to put it back on. I suppose OT 9 will fix that.
This cartoon restimulated my giggle engram.
Those who believe absurdities will do absurd things.
This latest regraded being is so true – having been on solo nots, you really try to avoid situations that will crop up in your next 6 months check. I was always amazed how I would get dragged down into endless end ruds trying to F/N the final sec check in the AO HGC so I could work on my on base solo sessions, and leave the base.
The most startling were the people who would blaze through their sec checks in a couple days. I think, in all sincerity, they thought happy thoughts, or similar ploys, and F/Ned the majority of the sec check questions. Maybe gave up a W/H or two, but didn’t get dragged into the mud of long w/h chains etc.
FYI – when you go to flag for a 6 mos check – you go to the HGC for a quick review, then get a sec check, then get sent to ethics to get handling, possibly work out of lowers and finally get interviewed and an ok to go forward) You could study and do the drills and crams in the solo nots course rooms in the mean time when not in session, but not much else until the C/S oked the ethics handling.
To make matters worse – people like me who were going slow on the sec checks, would get bumped as thursday approached, and they pushed the fast ones through for completions ( their stat) then after thursday at 2, production collapsed until late in the day or friday, because they had to write up stats etc. Then things resumed.
Mimsey
Nailed it again RB. Thank you for making me laugh at the crazy mind set of a Scientology cult member under the influence of CRAZY.
I once was one of those crazy Scientologists.
Now, I can laugh and cringe about it at the same time.
Heh, anyone know where “CRINGE” is on the Emotional Tone Scale ole man Hubbard made up? It has to be near embarassed, humiliated and mortified beyond belief.
Can you imagine if the truth were told in Scientology about that criminal con man alcoholic drug addict loser, L Ron Hubbard and the REAL life he lived? Doctor Hubbard – a self proclaimed Doctor ( with no education) who actuallky called himself a Doctor until it was audited out of Scientology for PR reasons, not because it was a LIE.
So many LIES they tell you about L Ron in that crazy cult.
No one would stay in Scientology, well, except for David Miscavige.
He is just like L Ron Hubbard. Cruel, inhumane and a psychopathic socio path that enjoys harming others.
“Cringe”, without all the lies, there would be no scientology. Peddling false cures for non-existent maladies.
Pretty good living it gave to the inventor.
IF you call cowering away in a nowhere “ranch” in a converted bus living. Personally, I think he was too preoccupied with avoiding arrest and conviction for his crimes to enjoy anything approaching a real life. Even on the Apollo, he never stopped hiding from deserved prosecution.
O/T. Counter Extremism Project Report on the Nation of Islam (NOI) discusses the NOI’s relationship with Scientology.
Counter Extremism Project: Nation of Islam (NOI)
https://www.counterextremism.com/threat/nation-islam-noi
* * * * * BEGIN EXCERPT * * * * *
Overview
Executive Summary:
[SNIP]
Since 2012, Farrakhan has also pushed for a “long and beautiful relationship” with Scientology, with thousands of NOI members now studying the fringe ideology.* Though L. Ron Hubbard—the science fiction author around whose writings Scientology is based—specifically dismissed the existence of Allah, several members of the Nation of Islam began following the pseudo-religion in the early 21st century.*
* * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *’
Direct link to the full 17 page PDF Report, which has more information regarding the Nation of Islam’s relationship with Scientology in the Footnotes and History section:
https://www.counterextremism.com/taxonomy_term/1214/printable/pdf
Memorialized with screenshots on ESMBR at:
https://exscn2.net/threads/counter-extremism-project-report-on-the-nation-of-islam-noi-discusses-the-nois-relationship-with-scientology.2993/
/
These links about the negative extremism of NOT are very biased. The writing is obviously done by individuals who are hyper critical of Black Nationalism. The Fruit of Islam Ministers are a positive influence in East Tampa. Unfortunately, they have dwindled in number over the last several weeks probably due to these racist comments widely spreading. There is no better organization to take over and control Scientology that NOI. This transformation should be encouraged.
George, Is that for real or are you being sarcastic?
Of COURSE, an anti-extremist source will be critical of a hyper-extreme group like the NOI. I, for one, am not to my knowledge a “devil” bent on repressing/suppressing Blacks. When I deal with people, I deal with them as *people*. Blacks merely have better tans than I have ever achieved. (no joke, I AM slightly jealous).
Another great RB. The wife bit about “…disconnect from… because they had disconnected from… because they had disconnected from… because…” makes me think of a memorable 1970s television commercial for “Fabergé wheat germ and honey” shampoo.
The commercial starts out with one person in the screen who explains how, talking about the shampoo, “I told 2 friends, and then they told 2 friends, and so on, and so on, and so on.” The single image replicates and multiplies till several small images, like a bee colony, take up the entire screen.
The customary genius of “Regraded Being.” Our left-the-group loved ones can be like a colony. At some point, you realize it is the colony you vastly prefer to be a part. I think we can forecast where the wife is headed, after she gets through the enforced amends in Central Files!
A decided to leave the cult after they were told to disconnect from B who decided to leave the cult because they were told to disconnect from their daughter who was told to disconnect from her husband who was told to disconnect from his mother who decided to leave the scam because they were told to disconnect from all their children who had been disconnected from their children who had decided to sue the cult because they were told to disconnect from themselves?
How the F can anyone disconnect from themselves? That must require super powers. Too bad there is no way to get super powers by disconnection.
This cult is madness heaped upon insanity along side crazy.
Actually you get the Super Power of being able to be yourself again when you disconnect from Scientology…..
Well Said! Disconnecting from this cult is the greatest disconnection of them all!
Absolutely true. I remember that exact day well. I had just left the SO through the RPF. I was in the street and suddenly I realized that I no longer had anyone to report something or orders to receive or threats or impossible schedules or all the other nonsense bullshit to deal with.
Life, mine, was in my hands again. And it didn’t matter if for better or for worse – it was mine again.
What a super “key out” feeling!
Very happy for you LMR. Congrats!
valboski sagely stated: “you get the Super Power of being able to be yourself again when you disconnect from Scientology.”
That deserves broad publication.
I was sent from the Sea Org to disconnect from my body; I.e. die.
I wonder if we can start a new religion dedicated to the proposition that all people deserve to see the disconnection this cult from our world and throwing its leader into the penitentiary?
Skyler, I agree with the sentiment, but Dwarfenführer has insulated himself too well from reality for his crimes to be prosecuted.
His crusade to eliminate scientology completely from modern life is working well, though. THOSE stats are straight up and vertical, so to speak. There are now 47-X more people out here willing his success than are “in” keeping scientology wanting
47 people, hmmmm …. I would guess those are the people who are thinking about what will happen when DwarfenDork eventually dies. There must be some people hoping to inherit that 3 Billion dollars and immediately liquidate it all and get the cash into some Swiss banks just as quickly as they can and then …. disappear!
On the day they disappear and this hideous cult collapses leaving a bunch of people carrying placards and standing in front of Big Blue with very puzzled looks on their faces thinking …. “Oh my! What should we do now? Can you spare two dollars for a cup of coffee?”
Perhaps you learn how to disconnect from yourself at the super power building.