I didn’t get to read this yesterday because I was on the road all day attending my granddaughter’s high school graduation. It was a 6 hour drive round trip and I had to be back home today because I had promised a grandson I would be at his game.
If anyone reading this thinks I am posting this to sound virtuous, think again. It would have DESTROYED me to not watch my granddaughter graduate. I wake up excited at the prospect of going to my grandchildrens theater performances, dance performances, ball games, swim meets.
I think back on my time on post in SO and GO and am appalled at the fact that I was not allowed to leave post to be able to attend one of my grandmother’s funerals. The worst part is that at the time, I was okay with that, it made me feel important and valuable.
But people are not automatons, they are thinking, caring beings, and when their thoughts and actions are severely curtailed, they either break or escape.
IMHO there are probably three subsets of people still in scientology:
1. Broken shells believing they are “the most able group on the planet” (think Heber, Diana, Shelly, etc)
2. Parents who care so much they can’t leave their brainwashed children behind so they pretend they “believe”.
3. Those who have seen the light and are planning their escape.
As a never-in, this really brought home the sad truth about Scientology. The saddest part is that the woman “left behind” looks elderly and probably will now be utterly alone. Even though she will be surrounded by other “believers, it seems the remaining “scions” are ultimately isolated in their own psychological and emotional bubble. It makes me want to cry. Ann
Elitism, arrogance, the sheer chutzpah to believe you can sit in judgement over people, and the belief that you are truly better than others has one helluva backlash when other people realize that it’s just a facade and that the only power you have over them is the power that they themselves have granted to you. As the Bronze Age Book Of Fiction, Four-Century-Old British Heresy Version says, “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18, to be exact.
As an arrogant elitist who believes that he’s better than others and someone who sits judgement on people for a living, I can’t condemn them for being that way. However, I can laugh my ass off when every pane in their glass house gets shattered. There is no pathos there to be granted, no sympathy. The chickens have come home to roost and the fat lady’s hit her high note.
I find this to be a very sad sad post, but one that has happened throughout scn history all too often.
Injustices put people in a hellish bind -ABSOLUTE HELL – and cause them to leave or be kicked out.
Many commenters seem to see this too simply, “oh, but of course you should just go now!”
But when you believe, and can’t conceive of NOT believing that your eternity as a being is at stake, that this IS the road out, that this IS your first chance in endless trillions of years, that you HAVE experienced wins alllll the way along the way … that you desperately want to achieve all those Santa Claus Christmas FREEDOM hopes that have never died away..
when you believe this
and are met with injustice, or with a family member leaving and then being forced to choose..
when these things happen, they are tortuous. It’s NOT easy. It’s NOT black and white, it’s your entire life and all your thoughts and strivings, pitted against massive loss.
It’s devastating. Many of the people on these boards must know this.
I was lucky. I was absolutely lucky. I didn’t come to my senses through a massive injustice – I PUT UP WITH THOSE, I weathered those, I OUT LASTED those due to my “certainty in Ron” , I didn’t get finally fed up with the off policy nonsense of ideal org building, changing all the books, cancelling the courses and training packages – all the many things that made one doubt management – … I didn’t get out because someone dear to me was declared and thus I followed – I didn’t have any of that happen.
I was lucky, I went through a long drawn out utter hell as a PC that drove me to the brink of insanity and finally just realized it was all 100 percent a crock, and I popped out of the matrix. I lost all of Scn in one swoop. There’s no going back ever.
So it’s easy for me NOW.
But if that Hell hadn’t happened I’d still be in, hoping for the OT dream. Certain of Ron and his wonderfulness and not confusing him with his mixed up minions and their foibles.
……..
Maybe it’s different if you were one of those Scios who were in but didn’t really do the bridge. Didn’t get much auditing (staff members!) or training, who were just going on guts and group. Maybe it’s easier to come to a ‘Leave It’ conclusion?
It’s not easy and it’s not black and white and it’s really freakin obvious to me now that it was all a wash, all Bullshit. But that’s not what I thought for 38 years, on staff, off staff, on course after course, and in the chair. In LIFE. I lived it and breathed it. (no one IN who knows me will ever believe I’m out)
We have to be able to walk away with nothing. That takes a crisis of magnitude.
SecretForNow, thank you for sharing your story. It must be difficult to recount your experiences, but it helps people to understand. I’m sorry you had to go through all that, and hope your life is happy these days. This makes me even more wary of Scientology. What kind of religion makes people afraid to even say their name and admit that they are an ex-member? It’s pretty worrisome. Again, sending you best wishes for a wonderful day and life. 🙂
(Seriously, I will think about you and consciously send positive thoughts your way today, along with to other people that I am thinking about. It’s just a little thing I do once a day when I reflect on my blessings and extend well-wishes and positive thoughts towards other people that I’m thinking of, including those who post at this site. *disclaimer: No claim that this has any effect on anyone whatsoever, other than in my own mind, and no donations are ever accepted. lol.)
Thanks, T.J.
I’m doing GREAT. Thank you. I’m SO happy to be out. SO happy to have come to my senses, to really see.
It’s a weird weird existence. It’s so brand new, and every single day things happen, things occur to me, and I just suddenly SMILE really big and hug myself inside, so happy to be out.
Even if it’s under the radar, and even if I can’t actually shout it from the rooftops. I got you guys! 🙂 🙂
I’m still learning how to speak, how to describe what I’m thinking without using the pat scn terms. … and it’s easier and easier and easier.
I have NO idea of what life is about, what reality is, or what anything means.
and
I’m no longer thinking about any of that ever again.
I’m just breathing and living and spending as much time as I can making my life the way I want it to be.
It’s wonderful.
I used feel sorry for those “not-in” and think of how bleak, pointless, and short sighted their lives were. Now, I look back on that..and shake my head at how fully deluded I was.
I find the differences facinating. I don’t mind talking about any of it, because I’m so glad to be out of it. AND …I really really decided that I won’t spend ONE SINGLE MINUTE being bothered about the waste of my life.
If I did, I would be allowing scn to steal MORE of my joy and freedom. Rob me of more of my time and thoughts.
So nope. I’ll talk about it without sadness or feeling bad. It’s done.
It’s over
I’m free.
and I can have hot chocolate and cakes whenever I want. I can have a beer or kick back and waste a day. I don’t have to worry about saving anyone.
I can do what I want and just spread the love. I’m not wrong about anything ever again.
So thank you for your kind words and all of your appreciation.
Your story moved me, Secretfornow. I look forward to the day you go public with this. Because the big OT’s, the trained people, the true believers who are in such lock step that “no one would believe I’m out…” those are the very OL’s who need to publish their coming out stories so that others can see that a a big OL (opinion leader) whom they respect, is OUT, well…. that sets up the cognitive dissonance and then the looking and then the getting out. You could save a lot of spiritual lives by going public. Just sayin.’
Oh, honey pie, oh how I wish I could. I just can’t give them the power to ruin my life, not now. My livelihood would be ruined as well as the livelihood of people very close to me.
It’s like, for me to be publicly out, …. it would create this big effect on my wide circle of people – but would rip everything close to me apart, and hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt.
I wish I knew magic words to make others Pop Out. But I know I don’t have them. Every person is different. ( I envy Remini for her family all following)
But I think someday, someday when people close to me go to do service, it will come out that I’m no longer on board. I think that I will be ordered in for questioning. I will not do that. Then it will come to a head. I think the handwriting is on the wall.
But until then, do you know what I’m doing? I’m getting my ducks in a row. I’m working on a plan so that when that shit DOES hit the fan, it won’t matter. I’ll have the finances and life set up so that it won’t matter.
I won’t let them win.
…
and until then…various people close to me are knowing I’m not the way I was. I’m not hiding. I’m just not shouting from the mountaintop yet.
…….Thank you.
You’re one of the ones who are helping me. This is a big deal. Really. I’m barely out and learning. It’s wonderful, but also scary and strange and all kinds of things.
I was asking a new friend the other day about how to say something, and again casually mentioned, “I’m still learning how to talk, having recently escaped 38 years brain washed in a cult”. she had thought I was joking when I’d said it before. We had a short talk about it -I gave her the thumbnail – she was speechless and hoped I had a support group.
Very smart to make a plan and get things set up before cutting ties. From what I’ve heard enacting this change can be a difficult thing to do. I understand your reluctance to make a statement given your situation. Hoping for the best! Glad you are enjoying your new-found opportunities, and that you are finding comfort and support from us here at Mike Rinder’s.
Best Wishes, T.J.
Hi secretfornow, I was reading your post to Cindy and what you wrote as to your decision to be on your path until you decide otherwise really resonated with me.It literally took me years and I blew in 78,to truly look at all the Ron-Aide I had taken in and how the echoes of that time still affect me.
When I toss a flat stone into water and the ripples it makes go all the way to shore and probably back again,I see connections between all things.Coming out of the grip of cos for me is still an ongoing situation.Certain sounds or events can fling up really bad times in SO and yes there were good times too,but the bad can hit hard.What I am learning is to reach out to others and try to realize all I went through has made me stronger.
Since I first found your posts here I have been following them.I want to send you waves of support and love,Always xo
I see your points, Secretfornow. Good idea to get yourself safe pointed and proofed up so that they can do their worst and it won’t affect you when you come out. Some ideas: defriend all Scns on FB because that’s where they go first to start the Black PR campaign on you. If you have no Scn friends, they don’t know who to go to. Get a job that is not connected to or dependent on Scns in any way. Get your kids and spouse and loved ones same. Start making Non Scn friends. Get all money off account. But most of all, make sure you enlighten your kids, spouse, loved ones on the out tech and horrors of EM and etc and show them references that are being violated and all sorts of stuff — do that well before you plan to come out. And make sure you have them alone with lots of time so you can enlighten them. I never had that luxury with my kids. The church was undercover spying on me for months before I knew about it and were having my own kids spy on me and report in. So had I enlightened them before they started in, I might have them out with me today. And do keep connected to your new group via Mike R’s blog. You have friends here. Good luck to you!
I’m sorry you were spied on by those who should have just loved you.
I thank you for your wish to help.
Several of your suggestions would get me slaughtered.
I have kept my fb friends, the ones I like independently of the scn connection. I love so many people. I don’t want to drop them when I don’t have to.
I would rather just never do any service again and keep my friends and family than be a big mouthpiece and decry the BS.
If I allow myself backward glances, I feel robbed of the better part of my life. I feel robbed of what else I could have done with these years. But since I’m so happy to be out I don’t waste that time.
But to do things stupidly would be to allow scn to take away people I love. To badly affect my life going forward.
I won’t grant it that ability if I can.
It’s taken enough from me.
Anyone who drops me due to my backing away is not worthy of dismay. They can go. I’ve always cultivated a large circle of family and friends who are not in.
It’s so funny, I’ve been ridiculed, questioned, dismissed for my willingness to go out of my way for all these folks “not on the bridge”. All those times of being made wrong for valuing PEOPLE. (as if, they’re NOT the pool fish from for more scios!) …I ignored the disagreement.
I’ve not been much bothered by other’s opinions.
and now…
I’m out, and I have those people I’ve been a friend to. They’re still in my life and will always continue to be. Even if things hit the fan later and I lose my old scio friends, I’ll have lots.
Regraded Being, powerful strip. Sad, and true, but shows glimmers of hope for those faced with disconnection – it doesn’t have to be that way!
Think about this: you are doing “the greatest good for the greatest amount of people” by your actions of raising healthy, happy children that will contribute positively to society, modeling loving behavior to others, caring for elderly and needy who cannot care for themselves, being giving, generous, and forgiving and showing kindness and acceptance to other human beings. Hopefully, starting with your own family. Then extending to your friends, co-workers, neighbors, and the world at large. Greatest good for greatest number of people… think about it.
Regraded Being – thank you for being the impetus that causes us to think about it.
What goes around comes around. Scientologists never seem to grasp the simple fact that once you’ve made your bed you’ve got to lie in it.
Good one RB, sobering message but good.
Someday, that team of Scientologist sympathetic actors who do the weekly Author Services reading of LRH’s stories, would instead take up ANY of the Regraded Being comic strips, and perform them, instead.
That would be a kicker!
Start performing Regraded Being’s strips, live, with actors and actresses!
And film them!
That kind of stuff ought to be going out on the alternative YouTube, soon to be:
A Hollywood casting call will get everyone to fill the bill of David Miscavige.
including faux sea org uniforms. To make a hit movie you need the most outrageous
bloodthirsty midget.
I think peter dinklage could be great if you could convince him to act in a role that makes fun of a short person for being short (and also psychotic).
This reminded me of the time I went to the LA org in 89 for some two week program. I had been there about a week and was very disappointed at the lack of miracles I had been promised. One evening I received a call at my Hotel on Vermont Avenue (the Concort hotel perhaps?) from a staff member asking if I could come back to org, she said she wanted to discuss something with me. I naively thought she must be calling to discuss my case and would have a game plan for me to start seeing some results.
When I got there a met a young lady of about 23, I believe her name may have been Leslie. For the next hour or so she tried to persuade me to join staff. I tried to explain that I’d recently graduated from college and was looking to start a new career, she tried her best to convince me how selfish that was and kept asking “But is that as important as helping people?”. I tried to be polite about it and also explained that it would upset my parents a great deal if I moved to California, she kept saying ” The ethics officer can help you handle your parents “. I had no idea at the time that this would have meant giving them the ” Can we ever be friends ” book and then disconnecting from my parents.
I was amazed how she would not take no for an answer. After I had told her about 30 times I wasn’t interested, she still put a contract in front of me and begged me to sign it. Before she finally gave up she said in a pleading tone of voice ” If you won’t do it to help others do it to help me”. Her stats must have been down for the week and I believe it might have been a Wednesday night. A few days later she saw me in the org and asked if I had thought anymore about it. That she would try to get me to turn my life upside down just so she could raise her stats still amazes me.
I overheard an SO member trying to recruit a young boy by telling him that “in the SO you save lives, so maybe, if you don’t join, maybe 6 people will die because you didn’t join” It was one of the ugliest things I’d ever heard. (and I piped up and called him on his crap)
There are people who do come to this unfortunate conclusion as illustrated in the last panel. I call it the Liability Formula worst case scenario: When doing the first step, “Decide who are one’s friends,” you suddenly realize you have none. It’s sad that this will be the exit point of many scios who have stubbornly held on to policies that have been slowly destroying every good thing in their lives that they once valued.
My friends are people who would not write a report on my innocuous words or actions and turn it in to protect themselves. That leaves out any believing scientologist by default.
Thanks RB. You nailed it as usual. The old scientologist remind me of those dogmatic retired Russian tractor drivers who still wave communist flags because the proletarians will rule the world and comrade Stalin will protect them.
Step1: Get on the road to freedom: Disconnect from everything: university studies, non-scientology friends, hobbies, vacations. Now you are only connected with scientology.
Then starts extortion racket. Pay and do what we say or you will lose your eternity, your familie who is in scientology, your friends. This only works on the children of the still in’s and their parents.
Since there is basically no one coming in and the OT committees are starting to look more and more like bingo parties in assisted living facilities I wonder when membership will reach the next milestone: Under 10.000 from current estimated 17.000.If the current shrink of about 15% per year continues that could be achieved in say 3 years.
You would assume that with all the decline the Delphi system must be feeling the heat too.
“the OT committees are starting to look more and more like bingo parties in assisted living facilities”….Hilarious line….
There is a point in a downward spiral where the spiral accelerates. That point is near. The next big clamathon to raise funds for the LRon Clamtard Auditorium (when an LRON park bench would suffice) is going to take years to reach the actual goal and even longer when those funds have to keep the doors of the mOrgs open.
The lower the turd circles the drain, the faster it moves. Something like the accretion disk around a black hole. But with less toilet paper.
So… Jenny ends up alone. She put 1st Dynamic in non-existence, and then 2nd Dynamic in non-existence, so now she has only the single 3rd Dynamic activity known as COS to fulfill her dreams. Or what she can find of them from before COS.
Perhaps disconnection will be the key to emptying the remaining public, and even the big donors, from this cherch. All that would be left are the dramatizing 3rd Dynamic implanters and the born-in robots. They can seal them selves off from the rest of us, withdraw into their ‘ideal org’s, and contemplate their navels until they achieve an end phenomena.
Maybe they are doing the rest of us a favor, maybe.
Withdraw into their ideal orgs, you say? Not if they can’t pay the electric bill. Got a Plan B?
Unless The Owner is willing to spend his cash reserves, against near-zero income, to keep the infrastructure afloat, the whole enterprise must collapse. I’ve said it a million times — If only he would be willing to pay people to be Scientologists, there would be a genuine boom in stats. It might be a short burst before the final flame-out, but it would be glorious.
And that, for all you clams reading Mike’s Blog, IS Scientology. Oh, more bad news. It’s never, ever going to get any better. In fact, and really, I do hate being the barer of bad news, it’s only going to get worse. And when I say “worse,” I mean your cult will soon be so small, a light breeze will blow everything away.
But, hey, if you enjoy being abused, I say, GO FOR IT!
OSD, I think you’ve hit on something. I wouldn’t say that they “enjoy” being abused, but I would unequivocally say that they expect to be, and have become inured to being abused.
100% correct, Aqua. Like anything else, they got used to it. Imagine being used to brutality, subjugation and humiliation. Now that’s the power of the prison of belief….
And one of the main reasons I consider myself a Free Thinker.
Reminds me of battered spouse syndrome, it takes years to recognize they are in a desperate situation and fear is such a tough obstacle to overcome. I’m still in awe at the bravery of those that make it out.
Although personally I’ve never seen a veteran staffer behave so miserably as Kim’s mom in the earlier frames, the overall point is well made, particularly the make-wrong that gets foisted on those who care about anything beyond org stats and the referencing of myopic viewpoints. Whether done cheerfully or miserably, it’s ludicrous none the less.
It amazes me how the COS can impinge so completely and so brutally on members every dynamic while at the same time failing to deliver a single genuine EP of any process, for a ‘religion’ which claims to be able to free one from every inherent pain of life and to be the only true path to self-determination when in actuality it denies, degrades, and criminalizes its members self-determination and unapologetically imposes pain as a matter of course.
The only self-determination that can result is based on the realization of the brutal irony and clear counter-intention of the fundamental lie that is the COS.
Susan for teh win! All the best for Jenny. This is her chance.
Regraded Being, I always look forward to your comics. For me, they are one of the best things about scientology now. I wish the ideal scene illustrated here really were happening, but I wonder if long-time staff members like Susan really can and do turn around so fast. Have you seen this happen or is this a ‘postulate’ for the near future?
So far, I’ve only seen someone disconnect from their mother for reading the Internet (and disconnect from the rest of the family, too) so they could stay on staff.
Scientology is strange about connection. Some they disconnect from ruthlessly and never contact again, and I sure wish I was one of those. Others they hound ceaselessly, despite all evidence showing that those people have “quietly withdrawn their support”.
If you are referring to the unsolicited phone in your last paragraph I know what you mean. They called me nonstop for a year and a half 5 or 6 years ago. With all the insults I made against Hubbard, Miscsavagie and Scientology in general I am amazed they tried for as long as they did. I wonder if they do credit and employment checks on former memberst o determine who has enough money to make it worth their time to harass.
But…but, Doug! This only PROVES that they are expanding like never before and didn’t want you to be left out of your eternity! They’re just thinking of you, Doug. They have your best interest at heart….
My favorite caller was a guy from LA named Joey. He claimed to have already gotten his masters degree, spent 8 years in the military and was only 28 years old. Did he graduate high school at age 12?
I truly believe they do credit checks to determine who is “able” when allocating resources to recover ex-members. I know a guy who was getting several phone calls a day from an org he went in the 1980s! Oh, and visits to his house. And yes, let’s just say he is “able” as in able to make huge donations if he was still in. Though, no bottomless well. I will point out he isn’t rude to them and just doesn’t have it in him to call by names they are deserving of. But thank god for automatic call rejection!. I personally like forwarding their calls to another org. Keep it, in the bubble. But I’m poor so I don’t get any 🙁
I don’t know how they do it, but I continue to get mail from them despite being out over 35 years! I will say that it’s lessened, but arrives consistently. Fortunately, I have an eager recycle bin between the mailbox and the house.
I have heard nothing from them in a few years. It bums me out that I never thought to read the OT3 material to them. I have wondered if using my name on this site is the reason all contact from them stopped.
OSD, I think that 20k is the uppermost number, on their best day of the year. You see how many public are online at Pas & Valley. Cruise by LAD. Those are the best case Class V orgs on the planet.
You’re spot on. Shrinking faster than mine on a cold winter morning at Mavericks, without a wet suit. 😉
Mavericks has always been fun to watch for me, but, I’d never, ever surf there. And, of course, my age prohibits me from trying. Well….that and common sense.
My God,RB has Channeled my old biddy senior at Saint Hill
” Everything I try to do to you happens to myself !!”
I want you to tell me WHY?????
( this really happened}
surf guy, it’s 100’s of thousands.
The list of Celebrities you would never suspect were in scientology and left will blow your socks off.. the list of stars that said no thanks is in the thousands.
Tragic, and in a Shakespearean way too. F*&k Miscavage and all of the clampire too. Escape while you can clamlings, the end is near and no one wants to be in the front seat when the car hits the Bridge abutment. Those Takata air bags just don’t do the job, and neither will your ‘postulates’.
It’s been a continuous heartbreaking experience since the early 50s. All the lives that have been destroyed by this cult, can’t even be counted. It truly is a Horror Show…
At least the horror (but not Rocky Horror…love him!) is being exposed to the point that the masses now know it’s toxic, thanks in no small part to the good folks here!
RB hits it again with this spot on cartoon of Truth. And the simple solution is to say, “no more” and walk. Remaining in insanity, for ANY reason, simply means you’re choosing to support it.
This is actually a happy story (well, as happy as it gets in Scientology).
I didn’t get to read this yesterday because I was on the road all day attending my granddaughter’s high school graduation. It was a 6 hour drive round trip and I had to be back home today because I had promised a grandson I would be at his game.
If anyone reading this thinks I am posting this to sound virtuous, think again. It would have DESTROYED me to not watch my granddaughter graduate. I wake up excited at the prospect of going to my grandchildrens theater performances, dance performances, ball games, swim meets.
I think back on my time on post in SO and GO and am appalled at the fact that I was not allowed to leave post to be able to attend one of my grandmother’s funerals. The worst part is that at the time, I was okay with that, it made me feel important and valuable.
But people are not automatons, they are thinking, caring beings, and when their thoughts and actions are severely curtailed, they either break or escape.
IMHO there are probably three subsets of people still in scientology:
1. Broken shells believing they are “the most able group on the planet” (think Heber, Diana, Shelly, etc)
2. Parents who care so much they can’t leave their brainwashed children behind so they pretend they “believe”.
3. Those who have seen the light and are planning their escape.
What a sad group to belong to.
You’re an outstanding grandmother, Valerie!
Even the parents who have left still care very much about their kids.
As a never-in, this really brought home the sad truth about Scientology. The saddest part is that the woman “left behind” looks elderly and probably will now be utterly alone. Even though she will be surrounded by other “believers, it seems the remaining “scions” are ultimately isolated in their own psychological and emotional bubble. It makes me want to cry. Ann
Elitism, arrogance, the sheer chutzpah to believe you can sit in judgement over people, and the belief that you are truly better than others has one helluva backlash when other people realize that it’s just a facade and that the only power you have over them is the power that they themselves have granted to you. As the Bronze Age Book Of Fiction, Four-Century-Old British Heresy Version says, “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18, to be exact.
As an arrogant elitist who believes that he’s better than others and someone who sits judgement on people for a living, I can’t condemn them for being that way. However, I can laugh my ass off when every pane in their glass house gets shattered. There is no pathos there to be granted, no sympathy. The chickens have come home to roost and the fat lady’s hit her high note.
Karma, she is truly a bitch.
I find this to be a very sad sad post, but one that has happened throughout scn history all too often.
Injustices put people in a hellish bind -ABSOLUTE HELL – and cause them to leave or be kicked out.
Many commenters seem to see this too simply, “oh, but of course you should just go now!”
But when you believe, and can’t conceive of NOT believing that your eternity as a being is at stake, that this IS the road out, that this IS your first chance in endless trillions of years, that you HAVE experienced wins alllll the way along the way … that you desperately want to achieve all those Santa Claus Christmas FREEDOM hopes that have never died away..
when you believe this
and are met with injustice, or with a family member leaving and then being forced to choose..
when these things happen, they are tortuous. It’s NOT easy. It’s NOT black and white, it’s your entire life and all your thoughts and strivings, pitted against massive loss.
It’s devastating. Many of the people on these boards must know this.
I was lucky. I was absolutely lucky. I didn’t come to my senses through a massive injustice – I PUT UP WITH THOSE, I weathered those, I OUT LASTED those due to my “certainty in Ron” , I didn’t get finally fed up with the off policy nonsense of ideal org building, changing all the books, cancelling the courses and training packages – all the many things that made one doubt management – … I didn’t get out because someone dear to me was declared and thus I followed – I didn’t have any of that happen.
I was lucky, I went through a long drawn out utter hell as a PC that drove me to the brink of insanity and finally just realized it was all 100 percent a crock, and I popped out of the matrix. I lost all of Scn in one swoop. There’s no going back ever.
So it’s easy for me NOW.
But if that Hell hadn’t happened I’d still be in, hoping for the OT dream. Certain of Ron and his wonderfulness and not confusing him with his mixed up minions and their foibles.
……..
Maybe it’s different if you were one of those Scios who were in but didn’t really do the bridge. Didn’t get much auditing (staff members!) or training, who were just going on guts and group. Maybe it’s easier to come to a ‘Leave It’ conclusion?
It’s not easy and it’s not black and white and it’s really freakin obvious to me now that it was all a wash, all Bullshit. But that’s not what I thought for 38 years, on staff, off staff, on course after course, and in the chair. In LIFE. I lived it and breathed it. (no one IN who knows me will ever believe I’m out)
We have to be able to walk away with nothing. That takes a crisis of magnitude.
and balls.
Hi secretfornow, I love your post.Lightning on my IPad.XO
SecretForNow, thank you for sharing your story. It must be difficult to recount your experiences, but it helps people to understand. I’m sorry you had to go through all that, and hope your life is happy these days. This makes me even more wary of Scientology. What kind of religion makes people afraid to even say their name and admit that they are an ex-member? It’s pretty worrisome. Again, sending you best wishes for a wonderful day and life. 🙂
(Seriously, I will think about you and consciously send positive thoughts your way today, along with to other people that I am thinking about. It’s just a little thing I do once a day when I reflect on my blessings and extend well-wishes and positive thoughts towards other people that I’m thinking of, including those who post at this site. *disclaimer: No claim that this has any effect on anyone whatsoever, other than in my own mind, and no donations are ever accepted. lol.)
Thanks, T.J.
I’m doing GREAT. Thank you. I’m SO happy to be out. SO happy to have come to my senses, to really see.
It’s a weird weird existence. It’s so brand new, and every single day things happen, things occur to me, and I just suddenly SMILE really big and hug myself inside, so happy to be out.
Even if it’s under the radar, and even if I can’t actually shout it from the rooftops. I got you guys! 🙂 🙂
I’m still learning how to speak, how to describe what I’m thinking without using the pat scn terms. … and it’s easier and easier and easier.
I have NO idea of what life is about, what reality is, or what anything means.
and
I’m no longer thinking about any of that ever again.
I’m just breathing and living and spending as much time as I can making my life the way I want it to be.
It’s wonderful.
I used feel sorry for those “not-in” and think of how bleak, pointless, and short sighted their lives were. Now, I look back on that..and shake my head at how fully deluded I was.
I find the differences facinating. I don’t mind talking about any of it, because I’m so glad to be out of it. AND …I really really decided that I won’t spend ONE SINGLE MINUTE being bothered about the waste of my life.
If I did, I would be allowing scn to steal MORE of my joy and freedom. Rob me of more of my time and thoughts.
So nope. I’ll talk about it without sadness or feeling bad. It’s done.
It’s over
I’m free.
and I can have hot chocolate and cakes whenever I want. I can have a beer or kick back and waste a day. I don’t have to worry about saving anyone.
I can do what I want and just spread the love. I’m not wrong about anything ever again.
So thank you for your kind words and all of your appreciation.
🙂
JOY!
Hi T.J., So good to read your posts and feel the positive waves you generate.Made my day today. Made my weekend! ?Xo
Thank you Ann B., I say the same about you. You always brighten up this board with your radiant presence. Much love, T.J.
Your story moved me, Secretfornow. I look forward to the day you go public with this. Because the big OT’s, the trained people, the true believers who are in such lock step that “no one would believe I’m out…” those are the very OL’s who need to publish their coming out stories so that others can see that a a big OL (opinion leader) whom they respect, is OUT, well…. that sets up the cognitive dissonance and then the looking and then the getting out. You could save a lot of spiritual lives by going public. Just sayin.’
Oh, honey pie, oh how I wish I could. I just can’t give them the power to ruin my life, not now. My livelihood would be ruined as well as the livelihood of people very close to me.
It’s like, for me to be publicly out, …. it would create this big effect on my wide circle of people – but would rip everything close to me apart, and hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt.
I wish I knew magic words to make others Pop Out. But I know I don’t have them. Every person is different. ( I envy Remini for her family all following)
But I think someday, someday when people close to me go to do service, it will come out that I’m no longer on board. I think that I will be ordered in for questioning. I will not do that. Then it will come to a head. I think the handwriting is on the wall.
But until then, do you know what I’m doing? I’m getting my ducks in a row. I’m working on a plan so that when that shit DOES hit the fan, it won’t matter. I’ll have the finances and life set up so that it won’t matter.
I won’t let them win.
…
and until then…various people close to me are knowing I’m not the way I was. I’m not hiding. I’m just not shouting from the mountaintop yet.
…….Thank you.
You’re one of the ones who are helping me. This is a big deal. Really. I’m barely out and learning. It’s wonderful, but also scary and strange and all kinds of things.
I was asking a new friend the other day about how to say something, and again casually mentioned, “I’m still learning how to talk, having recently escaped 38 years brain washed in a cult”. she had thought I was joking when I’d said it before. We had a short talk about it -I gave her the thumbnail – she was speechless and hoped I had a support group.
I told her I had you guys.
<3 <3 <3
Very smart to make a plan and get things set up before cutting ties. From what I’ve heard enacting this change can be a difficult thing to do. I understand your reluctance to make a statement given your situation. Hoping for the best! Glad you are enjoying your new-found opportunities, and that you are finding comfort and support from us here at Mike Rinder’s.
Best Wishes, T.J.
Hi secretfornow, I was reading your post to Cindy and what you wrote as to your decision to be on your path until you decide otherwise really resonated with me.It literally took me years and I blew in 78,to truly look at all the Ron-Aide I had taken in and how the echoes of that time still affect me.
When I toss a flat stone into water and the ripples it makes go all the way to shore and probably back again,I see connections between all things.Coming out of the grip of cos for me is still an ongoing situation.Certain sounds or events can fling up really bad times in SO and yes there were good times too,but the bad can hit hard.What I am learning is to reach out to others and try to realize all I went through has made me stronger.
Since I first found your posts here I have been following them.I want to send you waves of support and love,Always xo
thanks, Ann. 🙂 I’m sending you those waves right back’atcha.
I see your points, Secretfornow. Good idea to get yourself safe pointed and proofed up so that they can do their worst and it won’t affect you when you come out. Some ideas: defriend all Scns on FB because that’s where they go first to start the Black PR campaign on you. If you have no Scn friends, they don’t know who to go to. Get a job that is not connected to or dependent on Scns in any way. Get your kids and spouse and loved ones same. Start making Non Scn friends. Get all money off account. But most of all, make sure you enlighten your kids, spouse, loved ones on the out tech and horrors of EM and etc and show them references that are being violated and all sorts of stuff — do that well before you plan to come out. And make sure you have them alone with lots of time so you can enlighten them. I never had that luxury with my kids. The church was undercover spying on me for months before I knew about it and were having my own kids spy on me and report in. So had I enlightened them before they started in, I might have them out with me today. And do keep connected to your new group via Mike R’s blog. You have friends here. Good luck to you!
I’m sorry you were spied on by those who should have just loved you.
I thank you for your wish to help.
Several of your suggestions would get me slaughtered.
I have kept my fb friends, the ones I like independently of the scn connection. I love so many people. I don’t want to drop them when I don’t have to.
I would rather just never do any service again and keep my friends and family than be a big mouthpiece and decry the BS.
If I allow myself backward glances, I feel robbed of the better part of my life. I feel robbed of what else I could have done with these years. But since I’m so happy to be out I don’t waste that time.
But to do things stupidly would be to allow scn to take away people I love. To badly affect my life going forward.
I won’t grant it that ability if I can.
It’s taken enough from me.
Anyone who drops me due to my backing away is not worthy of dismay. They can go. I’ve always cultivated a large circle of family and friends who are not in.
It’s so funny, I’ve been ridiculed, questioned, dismissed for my willingness to go out of my way for all these folks “not on the bridge”. All those times of being made wrong for valuing PEOPLE. (as if, they’re NOT the pool fish from for more scios!) …I ignored the disagreement.
I’ve not been much bothered by other’s opinions.
and now…
I’m out, and I have those people I’ve been a friend to. They’re still in my life and will always continue to be. Even if things hit the fan later and I lose my old scio friends, I’ll have lots.
🙂
secretfornow, that’s great. Do it to your & your loved ones advantage NOT the psychotic cult’s. Good for you!
Let’s pùt up the next stat: SPP, Suppressive Persons Produced. I think it may read a great Affluence and continuing doing so!
Brilliant idea, one that could raise the tone of the entire planet.
Wonder idea! Count me in! I’m an SP that’s been produced by the cult! And proud of it!
it’s the one stat that is truly expanding and going up, (straight up and vertical!) and is not falsified.
Leave! You will WAKE UP, and LEAVE!
Regraded Being, powerful strip. Sad, and true, but shows glimmers of hope for those faced with disconnection – it doesn’t have to be that way!
Think about this: you are doing “the greatest good for the greatest amount of people” by your actions of raising healthy, happy children that will contribute positively to society, modeling loving behavior to others, caring for elderly and needy who cannot care for themselves, being giving, generous, and forgiving and showing kindness and acceptance to other human beings. Hopefully, starting with your own family. Then extending to your friends, co-workers, neighbors, and the world at large. Greatest good for greatest number of people… think about it.
Regraded Being – thank you for being the impetus that causes us to think about it.
What goes around comes around. Scientologists never seem to grasp the simple fact that once you’ve made your bed you’ve got to lie in it.
Good one RB, sobering message but good.
Someday, that team of Scientologist sympathetic actors who do the weekly Author Services reading of LRH’s stories, would instead take up ANY of the Regraded Being comic strips, and perform them, instead.
That would be a kicker!
Start performing Regraded Being’s strips, live, with actors and actresses!
And film them!
That kind of stuff ought to be going out on the alternative YouTube, soon to be:
Regraded Being, Media Productions!!!!
Who would be cast as Miscavige in the skit videos?
I nominate “Mini Me” Verne Troyer for the role! (LOL)….
Bruce,
A Hollywood casting call will get everyone to fill the bill of David Miscavige.
including faux sea org uniforms. To make a hit movie you need the most outrageous
bloodthirsty midget.
I think peter dinklage could be great if you could convince him to act in a role that makes fun of a short person for being short (and also psychotic).
This reminded me of the time I went to the LA org in 89 for some two week program. I had been there about a week and was very disappointed at the lack of miracles I had been promised. One evening I received a call at my Hotel on Vermont Avenue (the Concort hotel perhaps?) from a staff member asking if I could come back to org, she said she wanted to discuss something with me. I naively thought she must be calling to discuss my case and would have a game plan for me to start seeing some results.
When I got there a met a young lady of about 23, I believe her name may have been Leslie. For the next hour or so she tried to persuade me to join staff. I tried to explain that I’d recently graduated from college and was looking to start a new career, she tried her best to convince me how selfish that was and kept asking “But is that as important as helping people?”. I tried to be polite about it and also explained that it would upset my parents a great deal if I moved to California, she kept saying ” The ethics officer can help you handle your parents “. I had no idea at the time that this would have meant giving them the ” Can we ever be friends ” book and then disconnecting from my parents.
I was amazed how she would not take no for an answer. After I had told her about 30 times I wasn’t interested, she still put a contract in front of me and begged me to sign it. Before she finally gave up she said in a pleading tone of voice ” If you won’t do it to help others do it to help me”. Her stats must have been down for the week and I believe it might have been a Wednesday night. A few days later she saw me in the org and asked if I had thought anymore about it. That she would try to get me to turn my life upside down just so she could raise her stats still amazes me.
Wow, Doug. Didn’t realize you went through this. But, I gotta tell ya, you did a magnificent job with that gal.
I did get some good wins those two weeks in LA. I went boogy boarding at Santa Monica beach every day and had a blast.
Good for you!
I overheard an SO member trying to recruit a young boy by telling him that “in the SO you save lives, so maybe, if you don’t join, maybe 6 people will die because you didn’t join” It was one of the ugliest things I’d ever heard. (and I piped up and called him on his crap)
Yikes RB, scary and true. Or true and scary. Sob, sniffle, squeak……
There are people who do come to this unfortunate conclusion as illustrated in the last panel. I call it the Liability Formula worst case scenario: When doing the first step, “Decide who are one’s friends,” you suddenly realize you have none. It’s sad that this will be the exit point of many scios who have stubbornly held on to policies that have been slowly destroying every good thing in their lives that they once valued.
Friends? FRIENDS??? There are no friends in Scientology! None. The best you can hope for is a nodding acquaintance. And even that is rare…
I am not auditing you . .
WHO have you been ‘nodding’ at????
My friends are people who would not write a report on my innocuous words or actions and turn it in to protect themselves. That leaves out any believing scientologist by default.
Thanks RB. You nailed it as usual. The old scientologist remind me of those dogmatic retired Russian tractor drivers who still wave communist flags because the proletarians will rule the world and comrade Stalin will protect them.
Step1: Get on the road to freedom: Disconnect from everything: university studies, non-scientology friends, hobbies, vacations. Now you are only connected with scientology.
Then starts extortion racket. Pay and do what we say or you will lose your eternity, your familie who is in scientology, your friends. This only works on the children of the still in’s and their parents.
Since there is basically no one coming in and the OT committees are starting to look more and more like bingo parties in assisted living facilities I wonder when membership will reach the next milestone: Under 10.000 from current estimated 17.000.If the current shrink of about 15% per year continues that could be achieved in say 3 years.
You would assume that with all the decline the Delphi system must be feeling the heat too.
“the OT committees are starting to look more and more like bingo parties in assisted living facilities”….Hilarious line….
There is a point in a downward spiral where the spiral accelerates. That point is near. The next big clamathon to raise funds for the LRon Clamtard Auditorium (when an LRON park bench would suffice) is going to take years to reach the actual goal and even longer when those funds have to keep the doors of the mOrgs open.
The lower the turd circles the drain, the faster it moves. Something like the accretion disk around a black hole. But with less toilet paper.
LOL
My suggestion requires the use of barracks language directed at DM, et al.
Please, PLEASE let ‘er RIP!
So… Jenny ends up alone. She put 1st Dynamic in non-existence, and then 2nd Dynamic in non-existence, so now she has only the single 3rd Dynamic activity known as COS to fulfill her dreams. Or what she can find of them from before COS.
Perhaps disconnection will be the key to emptying the remaining public, and even the big donors, from this cherch. All that would be left are the dramatizing 3rd Dynamic implanters and the born-in robots. They can seal them selves off from the rest of us, withdraw into their ‘ideal org’s, and contemplate their navels until they achieve an end phenomena.
Maybe they are doing the rest of us a favor, maybe.
Withdraw into their ideal orgs, you say? Not if they can’t pay the electric bill. Got a Plan B?
Unless The Owner is willing to spend his cash reserves, against near-zero income, to keep the infrastructure afloat, the whole enterprise must collapse. I’ve said it a million times — If only he would be willing to pay people to be Scientologists, there would be a genuine boom in stats. It might be a short burst before the final flame-out, but it would be glorious.
That would be hilarious! At least then the church wouldn’t be lying whenever they told a parishioner that their donations were expanding the church.
And that, for all you clams reading Mike’s Blog, IS Scientology. Oh, more bad news. It’s never, ever going to get any better. In fact, and really, I do hate being the barer of bad news, it’s only going to get worse. And when I say “worse,” I mean your cult will soon be so small, a light breeze will blow everything away.
But, hey, if you enjoy being abused, I say, GO FOR IT!
OSD, I think you’ve hit on something. I wouldn’t say that they “enjoy” being abused, but I would unequivocally say that they expect to be, and have become inured to being abused.
In other words, being abused in varying degrees is now a normal thing for them, unpleasant, yet “necessary” somehow, and to be expected. Sad.
100% correct, Aqua. Like anything else, they got used to it. Imagine being used to brutality, subjugation and humiliation. Now that’s the power of the prison of belief….
And one of the main reasons I consider myself a Free Thinker.
I am Groot.
Reminds me of battered spouse syndrome, it takes years to recognize they are in a desperate situation and fear is such a tough obstacle to overcome. I’m still in awe at the bravery of those that make it out.
Although personally I’ve never seen a veteran staffer behave so miserably as Kim’s mom in the earlier frames, the overall point is well made, particularly the make-wrong that gets foisted on those who care about anything beyond org stats and the referencing of myopic viewpoints. Whether done cheerfully or miserably, it’s ludicrous none the less.
It amazes me how the COS can impinge so completely and so brutally on members every dynamic while at the same time failing to deliver a single genuine EP of any process, for a ‘religion’ which claims to be able to free one from every inherent pain of life and to be the only true path to self-determination when in actuality it denies, degrades, and criminalizes its members self-determination and unapologetically imposes pain as a matter of course.
The only self-determination that can result is based on the realization of the brutal irony and clear counter-intention of the fundamental lie that is the COS.
Ok. Once again, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s because…THE ENTIRE CULT IS A FUCKING FRAUD! Whew! I feel so much better now.
What can anyone say?
It all ends in a final, wheezy whimper of a gasp…
…and it can’t come soon enough.
One of my favorite RBs to date!
Me too, Liz.
Are these the ‘story boards’ for the new daytime series, “Days of Our Ideal San Fernando Valley”?
Well, if you’re looking for science fiction…yeah!
Susan for teh win! All the best for Jenny. This is her chance.
Regraded Being, I always look forward to your comics. For me, they are one of the best things about scientology now. I wish the ideal scene illustrated here really were happening, but I wonder if long-time staff members like Susan really can and do turn around so fast. Have you seen this happen or is this a ‘postulate’ for the near future?
So far, I’ve only seen someone disconnect from their mother for reading the Internet (and disconnect from the rest of the family, too) so they could stay on staff.
Scientology is strange about connection. Some they disconnect from ruthlessly and never contact again, and I sure wish I was one of those. Others they hound ceaselessly, despite all evidence showing that those people have “quietly withdrawn their support”.
If you are referring to the unsolicited phone in your last paragraph I know what you mean. They called me nonstop for a year and a half 5 or 6 years ago. With all the insults I made against Hubbard, Miscsavagie and Scientology in general I am amazed they tried for as long as they did. I wonder if they do credit and employment checks on former memberst o determine who has enough money to make it worth their time to harass.
But…but, Doug! This only PROVES that they are expanding like never before and didn’t want you to be left out of your eternity! They’re just thinking of you, Doug. They have your best interest at heart….
My favorite caller was a guy from LA named Joey. He claimed to have already gotten his masters degree, spent 8 years in the military and was only 28 years old. Did he graduate high school at age 12?
Joey must have been talking at age 1….
I truly believe they do credit checks to determine who is “able” when allocating resources to recover ex-members. I know a guy who was getting several phone calls a day from an org he went in the 1980s! Oh, and visits to his house. And yes, let’s just say he is “able” as in able to make huge donations if he was still in. Though, no bottomless well. I will point out he isn’t rude to them and just doesn’t have it in him to call by names they are deserving of. But thank god for automatic call rejection!. I personally like forwarding their calls to another org. Keep it, in the bubble. But I’m poor so I don’t get any 🙁
I don’t know how they do it, but I continue to get mail from them despite being out over 35 years! I will say that it’s lessened, but arrives consistently. Fortunately, I have an eager recycle bin between the mailbox and the house.
I have heard nothing from them in a few years. It bums me out that I never thought to read the OT3 material to them. I have wondered if using my name on this site is the reason all contact from them stopped.
‘Can we ever be friends?’ LOL
The true E.P. of Grade I:
Make scamology disappear!!!!!
Mike, and I do bow to your greater knowledge, but, isn’t the cult down to around 20,000 members worldwide? And shrinking rapidly?
OSD, I think that 20k is the uppermost number, on their best day of the year. You see how many public are online at Pas & Valley. Cruise by LAD. Those are the best case Class V orgs on the planet.
You’re spot on. Shrinking faster than mine on a cold winter morning at Mavericks, without a wet suit. 😉
Mavericks has always been fun to watch for me, but, I’d never, ever surf there. And, of course, my age prohibits me from trying. Well….that and common sense.
I only went out there once. On a relatively flat day. I’m not Pro level or crazy so that was it for me.
Heh. “Jenny”. I think I see what you did there, RB. 🙂
My God,RB has Channeled my old biddy senior at Saint Hill
” Everything I try to do to you happens to myself !!”
I want you to tell me WHY?????
( this really happened}
El Lucifer Grande
snicker,snort
I wonder how many times this sad/happy (for those who leave) story has played out.
I’m going to venture a guess and say, thousands…
surf guy, it’s 100’s of thousands.
The list of Celebrities you would never suspect were in scientology and left will blow your socks off.. the list of stars that said no thanks is in the thousands.
Whoa! Not only do I stand corrected, I’m blown away with a huge (aka YUGE) smile on my face. Jose…you just made my day! Thanks, pal!
Tragic, and in a Shakespearean way too. F*&k Miscavage and all of the clampire too. Escape while you can clamlings, the end is near and no one wants to be in the front seat when the car hits the Bridge abutment. Those Takata air bags just don’t do the job, and neither will your ‘postulates’.
RB, you should write movie scripts.
Heartbreaking .
It’s been a continuous heartbreaking experience since the early 50s. All the lives that have been destroyed by this cult, can’t even be counted. It truly is a Horror Show…
At least the horror (but not Rocky Horror…love him!) is being exposed to the point that the masses now know it’s toxic, thanks in no small part to the good folks here!
Wow. That’s the story. Our human nature will not remain suppressed.
I especially love the graphs on the pamphlet in the last frame….going down down down!
Yeah, I took notice of that too. Every day that passes, more people wake up.
What will you do, Jenny?
Leave by the first door you see.
Turn out the light.
Somewhere there are people who care about you
RB hits it again with this spot on cartoon of Truth. And the simple solution is to say, “no more” and walk. Remaining in insanity, for ANY reason, simply means you’re choosing to support it.