Looks like Ralph’s real crime wasn’t breaking the law but getting caught and causing trouble for the Org. He’s going to have to up his donations game to a whole higher level.
I suspect his current condition is partly caused by having to force ‘ethics’ in on his staff from a prior ‘ethics’ handling. That and the donations he was “encouraged” to make forced him to push his staff to get higher GI at all costs to cover the cost of that ‘ethics’ handling.
Meanwhile, he’s on that ‘ethics’ squirrel-cage wheel: never truly being “cleared” despite mounting “donations” he’s made. Each one HAS to be larger than the last or it’s a down stat, therefore inadmissible.
(Is it Thursday at 2PM yet?)
Yeah, the “rehydrated water” store is just the sort of BS scam store to take advantage of the scientifically ignorant. Like oxygen bars. Or that time KFC advertised it’s chicken as being 100% free of trans fats [eyeroll]. It’s a nice touch to subtly play up the almost complete scientific ignorance of ‘scientology.’ But then again, LRH was all about borrowed credibility and stolen honor.
Good ol’ coffee shop auditing, it’s the best! Lousy coffee, real conversation, no examiner, no mandatory success story, no routing to the reg, no going into debt for your next action and more lousy coffee. Oh wait, that’s not auditing that’s just talking to a friend and they listen while you get something off your chest that’s bothering you. These days there are much better coffee options, so at least no more lousy coffee. Nice one RB.
Poor “Ralph”. Penalized for giving staff a decent wage for decent work and being on-source, too. By the end of that ‘ethics’ cycle, he won’t be able to afford the staff who depend on his wages to live and eat. Talk about killing the Golden Goose (or whale).
I could never, ever understand, and I STILL cannot understand, cannot fathom, have not a clue as to why Class V org staff salaries are so incredibly low.
And low salaries predate Miscavige; Dwarfenfuehrer can’t be blamed for this. Unlivable CL V org staff wages have been the norm since the very beginning of orgs.
Staff are so vital to orgs. How does one deliver services without sufficient, well trained staff who have as part of their basic purposes a strong desire to truly help people?
And when you FIND such people – and people with this strong basic purpose are GOLD – when they show up to be trained to do this work why not give them a chance, train them for free and then once they’re trained and ready for action – why not pay them decent living wages so that they can LIVE for crying out loud?
Or if not regular wages at LEAST give them decent commissions in a fair percentage cut of what the org earns!
For DECADES orgs have had a staffing problem. Orgs have never NOT had a staffing problem.
Existing staff BEG public to sign up for staff. They coerce, they shame, cajole, entice and outright lie to public to sign staff contracts. EVERY SINGLE CLASS V ORG STAFF PERSON IS ALSO A PERSONNEL PROCUREMENT OFFICER.
So what’s WRONG with this picture?
Answer: EVERYTHING.
People need and want JOBS. Rewarding, fulfilling work that pays a living wage. And many people enjoy helping others. I know I do.
Helping people – truly helping them in a lasting way, making a difference in their lives when it is possible, contributing to the well being of others, making a difference – call it what you will, helping people is FUN. Its a kick!
In fact, I think creating this kind of an effect on another person can become a very healthy addiction for the helpER. Provided, of course, that the help provided is indeed REAL help for the other person and not just grift labeled as help, or forced actions the person accepts under protest or in fear. THAT is not real help.
But real help for one’s fellow man – IMO it doesn’t get any better than that for the helpEE who is surprised and delighted and grateful and then even MORE for the helpER who has done something, really done something worthwhile for another living being. Truly a win win situation for individuals, groups, countries, the planet – in so many ways.
Now what I’ve just described above is how Scientology regges for staff.
Ok, fine. But then why not PAY valuable people like this and the key word here is VALUABLE.
People who WANT TO help others and who truly CAN help others are
VALUABLE. Why not treat them that way and pay them decently. Why not ASSIST valuable people who knock themselves out and work long hours to help others – why not help THEM, nurture THEM – as a priority! Expect much from them, certainly, but then, give them materially what they need and deserve! Help the people who are helping others! At LEAST pay them enough so that they can put their heart and soul into working 60 hours a week without having to worry about paying their rent and getting themselves enough food!
I’ll tell you again, I never understood orgs NOT doing this. Not then, and not now.
Aquamarine: Well stated and I don’t think it can be said enough. If Hubbard had any design whatsoever in making Dianetics and Scientology work, he would have to include making orgs and the labor necessary to operate the orgs work.
* why Class V org staff salaries are so incredibly low.
The reason is incredibly simple, and incredibly stupid.
LRH wanted money, lots of money. He built a pyramid scheme with himself at the peak. When anyone buys anything in Scientology, a portion is immediately sent away to upper management. Class V Orgs are expected to meet all their upper management cash obligations before they even start to look at the remaining income and how it is to be spent. Of course, few staff and no public are going to be told that. I only learned of it from a brief stint managing telexes, where I saw a lot of confidential back-and-forth with the FBO – Flag banking officer – who was the one directly handling the money.
***
For a moment, however, let’s imagine Scn works, that the purpose of making a sane planet is very real, and see how a Class V Org might work money-wise.
Start with an org with 20 staff – 7 tech including auditors and 13 admin including a registrar. A single Class V auditor working 70 hours a week can deliver 5 intensives (and a half, but we’ll drop that to offset for the time doing stuff like folder admin). That’s a maximum of $12,500 a week income per auditor. The two courserooms might add another $5,000 if things are going just right. Before they pay rent, they have to tithe via licensing fees and other charges from upper management. Rent on the minimum necessary space for a 20 staff org could run over $100,000 monthly, or $25,000 weekly. I played with numbers on this once, being overly generous in assumptions, and got a result of average staff pay being $2.50/hr.
Not only is $2.50/hr a pittance, that poor group is walking the cliff edge. Say they can’t get two auditing intensives paid for. Now income doesn’t even cover rent, and staff pay is lower priority. Instead of $2.50/hr, maybe the entire check for those 70 hours is $2.50. Worse, they can’t just sell an extra two auditing intensives the next week. Their two auditors only have so many available hours. That keeps happening and they fall into arrears on everything.
The old “make/break” point, or reaching Saint Hill size, was often referenced as having twenty auditors. If everything went right, they could bring in $250,000 a week on auditing alone. They’d be in a bigger space, but ideally the rent wouldn’t have grown quite as much (certain common areas don’t need duplication) and some of the expenses would have grown more slowly. Now they can fail to seen a few auditing intensives and still be making enough to pay all the bills and have a nice chunk to pay staff.
Of course, reality intrudes. Scn doesn’t work. Class V Orgs struggle to recruit and keep staff, let alone get 20 auditors trained who aren’t being sniped by the SO, and attract 120 preclears who aren’t convinced they should just pay a bit more and get all their auditing at Flag now rather than pay extra later to have all their earlier auditing in a Class V org repaired.
Spot-on, Aqua. Ron was so greedy, his staff couldn’t afford to commit to their org jobs 100%, so HAD to “moonlight” to make ends meet, even when the org was filled to the gills, making money hand-over-fist. Even at Flag, GI could be FANTASTIC, but slightly down at half a million dollars or so, and all staff were punished for that by being fed rice and beans breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s surprising more staff didn’t go “type 3” as a result. It’s DEPRESSING to all be punished for one group’s being all out of clever stat-pushes.
If scientology/dia-nut-ics were based on the truth, including Ron’s actual purposes, he MIGHT have seen it in his heart to pay his staff an actual wage. As it is, he was too greedy for that.
DwarfĂĽhrer® “corrected” many of Ron’s “mistakes”, but that wasn’t one of them.
In another words, what you’re saying is that Hubbard didn’t practice and apply his own tech! He constantly praised staff people in general as “valuable” – auditors in particular were “the most valuable people on the planet”, and yet, when it came to opening the purse, um…not so much.
Does Scientology have a future if the minions are not fully indoctrinated in the “Don’t Talk To The Authorities” rules? Those poor workplace-wogs who get just a taste of Hubbard Lite, who never suffered from the RPF or a sudden slap from the Tiny Tot, might actually believe Ethics means acting in an ethical manner. Ha ha ha, nothing could be further from the truth. In Scientology, Ethics is the Big Stick, the punishment or threat of punishment used to insure conformance with all the petty rules set down by Hubbard and Miscavige.
If those WISE guys fail to drill their employees properly on the TRs, those confused workplace wogs might think they should tell the truth when cops, food inspectors, or the labor board come a’calling. Heaven forbid, they might even think it would be Ethical to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under oath!
Employees who Tell The Truth, or try to Be Reasonable, would surely make a mess of any Scientology-influenced business.
Ammo Alamo, scientology doesn’t have much of a future.
Period,
full stop.
If they had ONE part of the “tech” which reliably “worked”—delivered what was promised reliably, they could advertise and sell just that and live swimmingly.
But that doesn’t exist, never has. scientology/dianetics was founded on lies and requires more lies to explain its consistent failures— ALWAYS pointing to the “customer” always being WRONG, somehow. Horrible business model, I’d say; destined to failure.
And so it goes/went.
Good one, RB. But I still get a laugh over that panel you did years ago where the Sea Org guys are persuading a pregnant woman to have an abortion because a baby is nothing but Dev-t.
unelectedfloofgoofer says
Looks like Ralph’s real crime wasn’t breaking the law but getting caught and causing trouble for the Org. He’s going to have to up his donations game to a whole higher level.
Jere Lull says
I suspect his current condition is partly caused by having to force ‘ethics’ in on his staff from a prior ‘ethics’ handling. That and the donations he was “encouraged” to make forced him to push his staff to get higher GI at all costs to cover the cost of that ‘ethics’ handling.
Meanwhile, he’s on that ‘ethics’ squirrel-cage wheel: never truly being “cleared” despite mounting “donations” he’s made. Each one HAS to be larger than the last or it’s a down stat, therefore inadmissible.
(Is it Thursday at 2PM yet?)
Briget says
Awww – poor Ralph! Came back to bite you in the butt, huh? You should know that that is always the outcome with Scamology!
Love the Dehydrated Water store.
James Rosso says
Yeah, the “rehydrated water” store is just the sort of BS scam store to take advantage of the scientifically ignorant. Like oxygen bars. Or that time KFC advertised it’s chicken as being 100% free of trans fats [eyeroll]. It’s a nice touch to subtly play up the almost complete scientific ignorance of ‘scientology.’ But then again, LRH was all about borrowed credibility and stolen honor.
Jere Lull says
Yup! “rehydrated water” IS kinda catchy, isn’t it? A perfect industry for scientologists: Delivering nothing at outrageous prices.
Ms. B. Haven says
Good ol’ coffee shop auditing, it’s the best! Lousy coffee, real conversation, no examiner, no mandatory success story, no routing to the reg, no going into debt for your next action and more lousy coffee. Oh wait, that’s not auditing that’s just talking to a friend and they listen while you get something off your chest that’s bothering you. These days there are much better coffee options, so at least no more lousy coffee. Nice one RB.
Jere Lull says
Bad Ms. B.Haven!
I almost wasted a sip or real, fresh-brewed coffee just then; first of my day.
jim rowles says
Juicy! RB you did great.
Jere Lull says
Poor “Ralph”. Penalized for giving staff a decent wage for decent work and being on-source, too. By the end of that ‘ethics’ cycle, he won’t be able to afford the staff who depend on his wages to live and eat. Talk about killing the Golden Goose (or whale).
Aquamarine says
I could never, ever understand, and I STILL cannot understand, cannot fathom, have not a clue as to why Class V org staff salaries are so incredibly low.
And low salaries predate Miscavige; Dwarfenfuehrer can’t be blamed for this. Unlivable CL V org staff wages have been the norm since the very beginning of orgs.
Staff are so vital to orgs. How does one deliver services without sufficient, well trained staff who have as part of their basic purposes a strong desire to truly help people?
And when you FIND such people – and people with this strong basic purpose are GOLD – when they show up to be trained to do this work why not give them a chance, train them for free and then once they’re trained and ready for action – why not pay them decent living wages so that they can LIVE for crying out loud?
Or if not regular wages at LEAST give them decent commissions in a fair percentage cut of what the org earns!
For DECADES orgs have had a staffing problem. Orgs have never NOT had a staffing problem.
Existing staff BEG public to sign up for staff. They coerce, they shame, cajole, entice and outright lie to public to sign staff contracts. EVERY SINGLE CLASS V ORG STAFF PERSON IS ALSO A PERSONNEL PROCUREMENT OFFICER.
So what’s WRONG with this picture?
Answer: EVERYTHING.
People need and want JOBS. Rewarding, fulfilling work that pays a living wage. And many people enjoy helping others. I know I do.
Helping people – truly helping them in a lasting way, making a difference in their lives when it is possible, contributing to the well being of others, making a difference – call it what you will, helping people is FUN. Its a kick!
In fact, I think creating this kind of an effect on another person can become a very healthy addiction for the helpER. Provided, of course, that the help provided is indeed REAL help for the other person and not just grift labeled as help, or forced actions the person accepts under protest or in fear. THAT is not real help.
But real help for one’s fellow man – IMO it doesn’t get any better than that for the helpEE who is surprised and delighted and grateful and then even MORE for the helpER who has done something, really done something worthwhile for another living being. Truly a win win situation for individuals, groups, countries, the planet – in so many ways.
Now what I’ve just described above is how Scientology regges for staff.
Ok, fine. But then why not PAY valuable people like this and the key word here is VALUABLE.
People who WANT TO help others and who truly CAN help others are
VALUABLE. Why not treat them that way and pay them decently. Why not ASSIST valuable people who knock themselves out and work long hours to help others – why not help THEM, nurture THEM – as a priority! Expect much from them, certainly, but then, give them materially what they need and deserve! Help the people who are helping others! At LEAST pay them enough so that they can put their heart and soul into working 60 hours a week without having to worry about paying their rent and getting themselves enough food!
I’ll tell you again, I never understood orgs NOT doing this. Not then, and not now.
Thank you for reading; end of rant.
Peridot says
Aquamarine: Well stated and I don’t think it can be said enough. If Hubbard had any design whatsoever in making Dianetics and Scientology work, he would have to include making orgs and the labor necessary to operate the orgs work.
But he didn’t.
ExScnStaff says
* why Class V org staff salaries are so incredibly low.
The reason is incredibly simple, and incredibly stupid.
LRH wanted money, lots of money. He built a pyramid scheme with himself at the peak. When anyone buys anything in Scientology, a portion is immediately sent away to upper management. Class V Orgs are expected to meet all their upper management cash obligations before they even start to look at the remaining income and how it is to be spent. Of course, few staff and no public are going to be told that. I only learned of it from a brief stint managing telexes, where I saw a lot of confidential back-and-forth with the FBO – Flag banking officer – who was the one directly handling the money.
***
For a moment, however, let’s imagine Scn works, that the purpose of making a sane planet is very real, and see how a Class V Org might work money-wise.
Start with an org with 20 staff – 7 tech including auditors and 13 admin including a registrar. A single Class V auditor working 70 hours a week can deliver 5 intensives (and a half, but we’ll drop that to offset for the time doing stuff like folder admin). That’s a maximum of $12,500 a week income per auditor. The two courserooms might add another $5,000 if things are going just right. Before they pay rent, they have to tithe via licensing fees and other charges from upper management. Rent on the minimum necessary space for a 20 staff org could run over $100,000 monthly, or $25,000 weekly. I played with numbers on this once, being overly generous in assumptions, and got a result of average staff pay being $2.50/hr.
Not only is $2.50/hr a pittance, that poor group is walking the cliff edge. Say they can’t get two auditing intensives paid for. Now income doesn’t even cover rent, and staff pay is lower priority. Instead of $2.50/hr, maybe the entire check for those 70 hours is $2.50. Worse, they can’t just sell an extra two auditing intensives the next week. Their two auditors only have so many available hours. That keeps happening and they fall into arrears on everything.
The old “make/break” point, or reaching Saint Hill size, was often referenced as having twenty auditors. If everything went right, they could bring in $250,000 a week on auditing alone. They’d be in a bigger space, but ideally the rent wouldn’t have grown quite as much (certain common areas don’t need duplication) and some of the expenses would have grown more slowly. Now they can fail to seen a few auditing intensives and still be making enough to pay all the bills and have a nice chunk to pay staff.
Of course, reality intrudes. Scn doesn’t work. Class V Orgs struggle to recruit and keep staff, let alone get 20 auditors trained who aren’t being sniped by the SO, and attract 120 preclears who aren’t convinced they should just pay a bit more and get all their auditing at Flag now rather than pay extra later to have all their earlier auditing in a Class V org repaired.
Odelya M. Levy says
Loved the Dwarfenfuehrer. Nailed it. Lol. đź‘Ť
Jere Lull says
Spot-on, Aqua. Ron was so greedy, his staff couldn’t afford to commit to their org jobs 100%, so HAD to “moonlight” to make ends meet, even when the org was filled to the gills, making money hand-over-fist. Even at Flag, GI could be FANTASTIC, but slightly down at half a million dollars or so, and all staff were punished for that by being fed rice and beans breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s surprising more staff didn’t go “type 3” as a result. It’s DEPRESSING to all be punished for one group’s being all out of clever stat-pushes.
Jere Lull says
If scientology/dia-nut-ics were based on the truth, including Ron’s actual purposes, he MIGHT have seen it in his heart to pay his staff an actual wage. As it is, he was too greedy for that.
DwarfĂĽhrer® “corrected” many of Ron’s “mistakes”, but that wasn’t one of them.
Aquamarine says
In another words, what you’re saying is that Hubbard didn’t practice and apply his own tech! He constantly praised staff people in general as “valuable” – auditors in particular were “the most valuable people on the planet”, and yet, when it came to opening the purse, um…not so much.
Ammo Alamo says
Does Scientology have a future if the minions are not fully indoctrinated in the “Don’t Talk To The Authorities” rules? Those poor workplace-wogs who get just a taste of Hubbard Lite, who never suffered from the RPF or a sudden slap from the Tiny Tot, might actually believe Ethics means acting in an ethical manner. Ha ha ha, nothing could be further from the truth. In Scientology, Ethics is the Big Stick, the punishment or threat of punishment used to insure conformance with all the petty rules set down by Hubbard and Miscavige.
If those WISE guys fail to drill their employees properly on the TRs, those confused workplace wogs might think they should tell the truth when cops, food inspectors, or the labor board come a’calling. Heaven forbid, they might even think it would be Ethical to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under oath!
Employees who Tell The Truth, or try to Be Reasonable, would surely make a mess of any Scientology-influenced business.
Jere Lull says
Ammo Alamo, scientology doesn’t have much of a future.
Period,
full stop.
If they had ONE part of the “tech” which reliably “worked”—delivered what was promised reliably, they could advertise and sell just that and live swimmingly.
But that doesn’t exist, never has. scientology/dianetics was founded on lies and requires more lies to explain its consistent failures— ALWAYS pointing to the “customer” always being WRONG, somehow. Horrible business model, I’d say; destined to failure.
And so it goes/went.
otherles says
Dihydrogen Monoxide now comes in cans.
Jere Lull says
AND plastic refillable bottles like the one to my immediate right.
Jere Lull says
I had more to riff on, but TL:DW — too long for the 5-minute edit span and it didn’t get written.
otherles says
Here’s the link.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/72813079@N00/51752750293/
PickAnotherID says
“. . . and copied her lawyer and the State’s Department of Labor Office.”
Ouch! Bet she didn’t find that bit in any of Hubbard’s Admin Tech dren.
Alcoboy says
Good one, RB. But I still get a laugh over that panel you did years ago where the Sea Org guys are persuading a pregnant woman to have an abortion because a baby is nothing but Dev-t.