I had another posting for this morning, but then I read the article on Tony Ortega’s blog this morning and consider it so important that I urge everyone to read it.
I want it to be available on this blog for anyone who happens to come along here, so I am republishing it in its entirety.
As is usual for Paul Haggis, he articulates a great deal in a few well chosen words. Though he doesn’t promote himself and there is no shoot crew following him around to make self-congratulatory videos, he is a true humanitarian. His work in Haiti is legendary, and it continues to this day, long after the attention of the media has shifted elsewhere. And this is only one aspect of his humanitarian endeavors. He is also one of the nicest people you could ever meet, and one of the smartest.
I include the full introduction from Tony. This is a must read piece.
We’re drawing closer to the broadcast of Alex Gibney’s documentary about Scientology, Going Clear, which airs Sunday night at 8 pm on HBO. We have another screenshot from the film, with one of its chief stars, director Paul Haggis, who was also the subject of Lawrence Wright’s New Yorker article and his subsequent book which formed the basis for Gibney’s film.
We asked Haggis to take part in our countdown this week to the movie’s airing, and he really surprised us by sending the following, one of the best expressions of the Scientology experience we’ve ever read. If this doesn’t get you warmed up for Sunday night’s documentary, we don’t know what will.
At the outset, Paul refers to the smears that Scientology has been spreading about him since he was first profiled by Wright, but more so in the last few weeks. Scientology calls Paul the “Hypocrite of Hollywood” and accuses him of never really being a Scientologist at all. Well, here’s what Haggis himself has to say about that, and a lot more.
Despite what is being said in their rather pathetic attack pieces on me, I was very involved in Scientology for most of my adult life. While I thought the OT levels madness, I used many Scientology precepts in my daily life — so much so that it took several years after leaving to actually question the many “self-help” concepts that I had learned and used. The slow indoctrination process is as subtle as it is dangerous — largely because you truly believe that you are thinking for yourself, when in fact you are discouraged to do anything of the sort.
Paradoxically, there is great pride in belonging to a stigmatized group. It’s like being in love with a narcissist. All your friends will warn you that you are just being used. You understand why they think what they think, but you believe in your heart that they just don’t see what you see. You just tune them out. For that reason, when I did discover what many outside the church knew, I was truly shocked. While some of the information had been out there for many years, like all Scientologists, I refused to look. Yes, I was told not to, but I didn’t have to be. This was my group and I knew there to be many people in the world who were bigoted and close-minded, and when I was told that we were “under attack” in Germany or France or wherever, instead of looking for the reasons, I assumed this to be the case — and donated many thousands of dollars toward our “defense.” Yes, there was considerable duress involved in those “donations,” but if I didn’t honestly believe what I was being told I would not have handed over such large sums.
It makes little or no sense in retrospect, and it’s very hard to understand unless you’ve been a part of a marginalized group. While I was a constant thorn in the side of the executives, questioning practices I thought unjust, it never crossed my mind to voice my concerns outside the organization. In fact, even after I sent my letter of resignation I maintained a great fondness for “the old man.” Yes, he was a rogue, and he might have gone insane later in life, I thought, but I still believed he had put together a pretty workable system for steering through life. Even then. I might have been outraged by injustices I witnessed or heard about, but I dropped the blame at the doorstep of David Miscavige and company. Miscavige, I later discovered to my amusement, never liked or trusted me — in his eyes I was a bad Scientologist — which I admit myself. I was told he was angered that I wasn’t “deferential enough,” and I asked too many questions, even if internally.
Too many, and as it turned out, not near enough.
It took years after leaving to understand that these practices I railed against had always been at the core of Scientology — that Miscavige was just very faithfully, if cynically, following L. Ron Hubbard’s cruel playbook. The reason this was hard to believe is exactly because of the duplicitous nature of Hubbard’s writing. He wrote tomes on the practice and necessity of critical thought; how nothing should be accepted at face value. His “ethics formulas” stress that when making a difficult decision you have to push aside all personal bias and truly look at what people are doing, not just what they are saying. “Look, don’t listen” is oft repeated advice — but it is advice given to the blind. All these high-minded teachings are useless when you factor in the thing you are never allowed to question — Scientology, its teachings, practices and leadership.
Somehow Scientologists are able to accept those incongruous and contradictory thoughts. For example, they truly believe that only Scientology can save the world, and that they are making major strides in this direction every year. They hold onto this belief despite the fact that there isn’t even a modicum of evidence that they are having even the tiniest impact on any problem in any part of the globe. Scientologists simply accept the assurances of the church leaders that it is so. To the contrary, volumes of compelling evidence from unimpeachable sources that their organization has done and is doing serious damage to thousands of people is dismissed before it is ever inspected.
That’s what will happen to Going Clear. At least that’s what the church hopes happens. Without even watching it my former friends will condemn it as lies. You see it happening already. Understand that many of these Scientologists are damn smart people; many of them truly lovely and caring. But they are the same people who will not hesitate to cut their closest friend or family member out of their lives if they commit the ultimate crime of criticizing the church. You could do anything else and they would stand by you; commit any crime and they would be there to defend you. But not this.
I believe this is because somewhere in the back of their heads they know, as I did, that the very act of questioning could bring down their entire belief system. They have been slowly but surely trained to believe that if you don’t agree with something that LRH wrote, you just don’t understand it. Questioning anything means questioning everything. Even the slightest crack in that belief system could spread into a fissure. They cannot afford or allow the smallest doubt, because if it took root, their perfect world — a world where there is an answer to every one of life’s questions — could fall apart around them, and they would be left, like the rest of us, searching in the dark for their own answers in an uncertain world. Which brings to mind something a true genius wrote: “Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack, in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” For the sake of my former friends, many of whom I loved, I hope that Going Clear is the first crack, that they will watch it, and the light will slip in.
— Paul Haggis
Wow! , this is one of the most honest, unbiased, and responsibly communicated view of Scn and LRH. Haggis is indeed a master at communicating. One hell of a guy, indeed.
ML,
Peter
For anyone unraveling from this cult, be patient. You didn’t get embroiled in it overnight, and it takes about the same time to unwind.
Love to see someone shoot some videos the Sunset body routing. Even without hearing what they are saying, would be fun to watch an SO tandem try to corral someone. (Can these people EVER be allowed outside of LRH Way on their own? Yes, I know the answer to that.)
I almost feel sorry for them, having to body route and not having a clue about the actual PR scene of the cult. They’re operating on false data (Scientology is expanding) and missing data (the public hates and fears it) and so if/when they get blamed for not getting enough people into the org they have no choice but to agree that they’re deficient, counter-intentioned, etc.
For years when still in I sold books and wondered why people would walk by and slit their eyes at us or else just purposely look away until we were out of their view – I knew they were doing it on purpose. “Why do they hate us so?”, I would wonder. “We just want to help!” Now I know.
Paul Haggis is an amazing artist and a fascinating person. It’s clear that he possesses a deep level of reflexivity and introspection.
Body Routing NOT—March 24, 2015—Vermont Ave. and Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, California
Today, I spied a small cluster of Body Routers on all but the northwest corner of Vermont Ave. and Sunset Blvd. I assumed my stance on the northeast corner, a few feet away from two Body Routers, a guy and a gal. She’d seen me in action before; I must have made feel her a little nervous. As she filled her counterpart in on what I do, she talked out of the corner of her mouth and tried to block my view of her, but I ever so gently eased my way so I could keep an eye on what they were doing. Then they watched me watch the Body Routers at the southeast corner working on a young guy I’ll name Ed. One Body Router talked Ed’s ear off long enough to make him miss the light; that Body Router urged with the forward motion of his body for Ed to follow him over to the Scientology complex, but Ed wasn’t going anywhere except with the light, across the street and toward his destination. I kept hoping that the next change in traffic lights wouldn’t occur without my attempt at rescuing Ed from Scientology Inc’s grasp.
Bingo! The light changed and Ed walked toward me as I crossed the street halfway to meet him. When you approach people like Ed to present an alternative to Scientology Inc., they generally respond quite well.
“Did you know that those guys who gave you that Dianetics ticket are Scientologists?” I asked. Ed had a nice smile; we crossed the street and headed toward the main entrance of the subway.
“This book,” I announced, holding up Lawrence Wright’s Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & the Prison of Belief, “is an expose on Scientology. The movie version of this book will air on HBO this Sunday night.”
“Thanks,” Ed replied thoughtfully, “I think I’ll check it out.”
I crossed the street, and headed west on Sunset, toward L. Ron Hubbard Way. Two Sea Org members came walking toward me as I silently held up Wright’s Going Clear for them to see. It’s interesting to watch other people, especially Scientologists, because as they waked, they kept up their conversation, but they, too, talked out of one side of their mouth while looking at me and the book sideways.
At LRH Way, two students, a Sea Org member with a clip board and her twin, walked across the street toward Scientology Inc’s complex. I held up Wright’s Going Clear, announcing the bestseller is coming to HBO Sunday night, adding that I wouldn’t trust anything David Miscavige said.
Paul is a profoundly articulate man. His reasoning and explanations of the church should help pop the bubble dwellers dome
increasingly I hope. “Going Clear” (not yet seen it) and the interviews Ive seen and read recently highlight Paul as someone real and caring who went through a similiar journey all us exes went through. Supreme hope, dismay and then complete betrayal! I look forward to Going clear immensely despite any negativity surrounding Hubbard. What is important is the expose of rampant abuse and putting the little devil COB where he belongs!
The only point I feel that I disagree with Paul is this one. I dont believe the OT levels are mad at all. I see through my own obsevations that they deal with madness. Theres my distinction of course. However I didnt do the OT levels in the church, suffer countless sec checks, over regging and other abuses while trying to get through. Paul and many others did. Im sure it would drive anyone mad! My point is though I may be scorned for saying this, outside the church without some big brother organisation, super control and oppression going on Im getting along rather well and winning big with the tech. That should be granted beingness too dontcha think? It just aint as evil as some firmly believe. Really isnt.
What I do think is evil is most of what DM and his church has done and yes even Hubbard did some despicable things too. The facts are what they are. Afterall Hubbard is dead, DM is not. A good leader would have tried not to destroy the very thing that sustained him. Such madness deserves a bad end. We keep the mistakes of the past in present time by not taking ownership of the current solutions in the now. I honestly believe the focus should be on slaying the beast rather than tearing down the monument of the long dead trainer of that beast..
Brilliant post, Sheeplebane! “We keep the mistakes of the past in present time by not taking ownership of the current solutions in the now. I honestly believe the focus should be on slaying the beast rather than tearing down the monument of the long dead trainer of that beast.” Wow.
Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
The Church of Scientology Flag Service Organization Inc recently updated its list of directors with the state of Florida for 2015.
Peter Mansell, Barbara Meador: OUT!
Ben Shaw, Christine Revell: IN!
Unchanged: Lena Pirak, Glen Stilo, Harvey Jacques.
Naturally those names are just what they tell Florida, and rarely matter except in legal cases, but I wonder if Peter and Barbara are sucking in some of the blame for the state of Flag?
This is brilliantly written. Maybe if I read it often enough, I’ll be able to write like that someday…
Here’s to truth getting its nose under the disconnection curtain thanks to the beautiful bravery of Paul Haggis and everyone else connected to Going Clear.
Paul wrote: “It took years after leaving to understand that these practices I railed against had always been at the core of Scientology — that Miscavige was just very faithfully, if cynically, following L. Ron Hubbard’s cruel playbook.”
I have found that this truth is hard to swallow for those who were simply public or staff that were never near the top of the “Org Board” as they rarely, if EVER, got to experience El Con’s true self, unfiltered.
This is very true, John Locke. Most staff and public including myself had no personal experience of LRH as did those near the top close to him. We never read his advices, or other confidential orders, for example, to the GO. It is hard to swallow the concept that the man who wrote what indicated and proved to me to be caring, helpful ways of operating in life, also advised – indeed, created and ordered carried out – cruel, heartless, policies that smashed and destroyed people. Its difficult to think with I have to keep in mind that my viewpoint is based on my reality, and differing viewpoints to mine are based on different realities. Duh! My reality of LRH is/was based on what I’ve read that he wrote, what I heard him say in lectures and the undeniable fact that a lot of what I learned in scientology, which he wrote, helped me. Ergo, without knowing him, I formed from my reality the opinion that he was good, exceptionally good, and as such, incapable of evil. I’m learning to accept now that reasoning as flawed. People apparently can be capable of great good and great evil. We all have these capacities f I didn’t work with LRH, didn’t know him, and as a public was shielded and clueless from the toxic policies and what many who knew him and worked with him say was the toxic side of his personality and character. Whew. Its tough. Thank you for your understanding of that, and for sharing it here.
Yep Aqua, the truth is that he was criminally insane. Hence, he created a criminally insane org and left it to be run by the criminally insane. Unfortunately B.T. Barnum was right and lots of good people were made to believe that he was more good than evil. He wasn’t.
Trying to find UNIQUE spiritual truths in the writings of El Con Hubbard is akin to attempting to pick up a turd from the clean end.
Haggis nailed it in this flick
Wow, doesn’t that say volumes, yet succinctly does it in so few words.
Can’t wait to see the HBO Going Clear.
Mike, I see that though the documentary is going to be a big blow to Miscavige, you are not differentiating anymore between the church and the indie field. That’s really interesting. I don’t have time to read the whole letter of Haggis but when I arrived at the point where he just puts Hubbard at the same level as Miscavige, I don’t need to know more.
People finally only know how to follow the “big lights”. Thank god, there was some true big light when LRH decided to do his mission on this messy planet. Hahaha, it looks like Homo Sap never learns.
All that I want to say is that it’s not strange to me now how come Scientology has gone so far south under the leadership of some people. And that the documentary had to cover the Indie field. OK, I will have to wait on that until I see it but I doubt there is going to be any significant mention of it in it.
when I arrived at the point where he just puts Hubbard at the same level as Miscavige, I don’t need to know more
Unfortunately Theo, this is the problem. You need to learn to observe for yourself and be willing to look. Not to shut off information because it goes against your preconceived ideas. If you do that you will never learn anything — be stuck at what you know today and never grow into tomorrow. And you will necessarily have to convince yourself that you already know everything there is to know.
Not a good path.
Mike, I don’t know if my reply is going to appear as a reply to you (the site gives me another name I am supposedly replying too) but that’s how it’s intended.
Mike how can one get back to never grow into tomorrow? Just because one knows some things does not mean he is stuck. As a matter of fact I have started re-reading the writings of Hubbard with much more word clearing done and thus better understanding. Being a foreign language student has always been a problem but I guess by now I can understand better in english than in greek. English is a much more precise language.
So, how can that be? So, on the contrary I do see now that I don’t know everything and I am willing to learn in a more objective way. But if you mean that knowing there is a thetas is a preconceived idea then ok, you might have me there. I call it knowingness though.
I am not willing to toss anything I learnt the hard way (while being declared suppressive for insisting on the application of HCOBs) and call it preconceived ideas. I would have become a lawyer but I hated all that system of putting it into words to mould someone’s mind. I chose to study the human mind and spirit. And now I come stronger than ever though the body might be getting older I can have that serenity sometimes only a thetan can experience.
Like after having as-ised something, remember? That feeling! And some bigger space.
I am grieved by the fact that Scientology is being treated like it is, though after reading an interview of Laurence Wright I saw the man really wanted to reform the church or that was what he was stating. Which is good. But tell him please that there are some Scientologists out there who are not brainwashed like those in the church. I run a small business, I have non Scientologists friends and I am bored to death because this is such a small game here. Sorry, I can’t help that. In any case, I do find that you have a certain nobility in your ways and manners and that’s what saves the day: That we can talk in a civilised manner about all those things. Awaiting for the documentary for which I have to say a big thank you to all of you so as to differentiate what I wrote above from the effort to expose Miscavige. Thanks.
“Not a good path” – no, it is not.
Homo Sap do tend to follow “big lights”, and act in ‘mob rule’. The churchies demonstrate this, and are attacked for it.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of critics out here on the fringe, that demonstrate the same cult in-ability to think, are unable to differentiate, and are acting more and more like they are going into a feeding frenzy.
The result is a games condition.
Yes Mike. Critical thinking is antipathetic to the conditioning we received in this religion. It takes practice and it takes time to undo.
Theo, I couldn’t top Mike’s response to your post. I would just add that if you encounter unkind and unfair things being said about LRH, I am fairly certain you will not be harmed by it. You will evaluate it with your own reasoning powers, and recognize it for what it is.
hgc10, of course I am not harmed. I just fill that for some reason people talk too much about LRH instead of saying anything about any tech. But you see, talking about any tech, any method to help is “out-moded”, certainly “not cool” or even “dangerous”. That’s the trend. And whoever goes against it especially in front of cameras, oh boy, he must be nuts. You know what’s this called? Hollywood PTSness. That’s what’s being exported. I am very curious to see the documentary and if it takes any stand on the philosophy itself. I am sure it’s a great job on the abuses of the church but let’s see it first.
Theo, as to the scriptures of Scientology, the axioms, etc. have been falsified at this point.
Chris and to all the people who speak about scientology. The “S” minuscule to differentiate from Scientology as referring to the church. There is a whole lot of scriptures to scientology that cannot be neglected, maligned or in any way vilified. Talking about scientology, not Scientology (brand name).
And the point for Man is: will he block and seek to bury or help bury all this knowledge or will he/she allow to children and the children of others to have that knowledge so they can look into it.
That’s my concern and I see a trend lately to throw that knowledge out indiscriminately.
I am willing to be part of this.
Theo, have you watched what the Milestone Two people are doing? Blaming two PCs for the lack of results in their auditing, and accusing them of being OSA plants? If KSW-style Scientology is going to down the same paranoid, blaming path as the Official Church without Poison Dwarf to blame it on, what can we deduce from that?
What does that have to do with anything? I don’t see any saint around. Many people make mistakes and wrong others. I always try to keep a distance from such things. It’s not easy to stay a THETAN, believe me, as one grows older they will either succumb or move up. And moving up in such a mad environment is NOT easy. So, please give me some good news, lol.
There is great knowledge, practices and proceedures Theo, outside of Scientology.
Growing spiritually is something we can’t avoid if we are so disposed.
The subject of Scientology did not go all the way. Sure there are good things in it. You know that for sure.
There are other paths. If you find that Scientology does not have all the answers I would humbly suggest continuing the search.
You’d be surprised what’s out there.
I would suggest ready Autobiography of a Yogi to jump start the search.
You may find those friends who think like you there.
Good luck and wishes to you Theo
Τhanks Brian, I think I keep my eyes open. That’s why I am out of the official church 15 years now.
Doloras,
There are a few problems:
1. The idea of “KSW” contains a well embedded lie especially in the word “working”. The the best that can be said about scn is that it helps some conditions. But even after a lifetime, pretty well everyone has not got what they intended to get handled in scn. Or one type of insanity or aberration is replaced by another.
2. If the PC is there on his own volition, and sincerely wants help, there is no such thing as a bad PC. There are only incompetent auditors. And wrong tech or too steep of a gradient.
3. Milestone Two is the same crap as the cos, only a different pile.
Bob Ross, who got into scn in 1950 and whom Hubbard sent to Israel with a stack of Dianetics books, left the cos in the 80s. He was my first fz auditor in 97. I have his notes that he left for posterity.
He says in his notes that the idea of standard tech has to be dropped by indies. Upper levels are a scam and indies should not promote them. He said that upper levels have seldom produced uniform results (he was being kind and generous) and left many people spectacularly disappointed.
Dio
Good point Dio. That’s a good summation, really is, the Upper OT levels are a scam, always have been ever since two invoices were rubbed together in the Cof$. Uniform results are the key (to anything really) and the Cof$ has terrible track record, in fact it doesn’t have a record of OT successes at all really, just a bunch of hype and status induced compliances. I remember going to events where the bright eyed and bushy tailed OT8s were lecturing their wins and helping the reges etc etc. but all those OT8s were sent back to OT7 and then whatever they did to them they sure didn’t give those lectures anymore, they were neither bright eyed nor bushy tailed anymore.
I’m a bit weird on this subject and don’t mind recognising that but I don’t endorse a correct way to do anything with the mind except maybe for CSing some basic PC (up to Clear) stuff. And I only say that because I’ve seen and personally witnessed what could be considered “uniform” and no one got ripped off, jumped off the cliff or anything like that, in fact the recipients said thank you and were happy. No-one disconnected from anything except maybe some bad habits. Quad grades for example gave a lot people smiles and I never had to review any of those.
Mention and or get into the realm of OT and whew! Especially NOTs stuff – I’ve never seen such a diverse range of results from engaging in that stuff. I personally did it for awhile and it was the biggest disappointment in the world. I saw others grind themselves to pooh and fail miserably at all things “scientology” but they were self-confident before doing Solo NOTs. Others never got over the financial suppression and fell in a heap, others went screwy and some even got sick and died. It left a horrible, horrible scene resulting from the deliberate perversion of dreams into a nightmare. It was NO accident the “OT tech” has been manipulated over and over again to intentionally screw you up within the Cof$ and probably elsewhere. They couldn’t do it to the lower levels so much as it wouldn’t “set you up” to hand over the BIG bucks for the later OT levels if they did. BUT EVERYONE IN THE Cof$ IS SCARED SHITLESS OF ANYONE WHO HAS THEIR OWN MIND, SPEAKS IT & IS CAPABLE! That’s why SP declares are the consistent favourite to handle all personnel problems but wow,perverted and dangerous technology and charge a mind numbing fortune for it, now there’s a way to fill the coffers and get away with it. The circular Bridge is a perfect example, I hate to think of what that really does to a mind!
If there is any sense to be had out of any of it, it has to be on the line of eventually working it out for yourself if you so inclined, maybe in mutual conjunction with others but expecting to sit opposite someone else, do something and then walk away with OT abilities belongs to a story line in fractured fairy tales. No business model could possibly work in the business of freeing beings, power corrupts, of that there is an easy provable consistency.
One thing for sure in the Cof$ is it’s majorly and chronically self defeating and really is a loser’s/total effect viewpoint to finally get to “OT 8 Truth Revealed” after already attesting to being “cause over life” plus all that study and training and THEN be vulnerable enough to get manipulated by a carrot on string for the next levels of IX & X. if you haven’t worked the ball of wax out by then, YOU have flunked big time or you’ve been conned or both.
There’s nothing wrong in my book with playing around with whatever you like but intentionally ripping people off or splattering other people’s minds about because you know what’s best for them is criminal, pure and simple.
End of rant.
From pain comes goodness. For those who bravely speak and share their stories in the documentary, they in their own way are humanitarians. And it seems obvious that they have respect for and trust with one another.
Paul has articulated the Scientology experience within the church perfectly.
The rear exit door of the org is ones bridge to total freedom.
What a masterpiece. That almost made me cry.
Anybody who has ever been in Scientology will agree that these experiences Paul writes about are the same ones we’ve all had at one time or another. Always being told what is best and if you questioned anything about Scientology or Ron you were sent to ethics. Sometimes put on the meter. When the IAS Regs came into town they’d make you feel like a piece of crap if you didn’t donate enough. It would be your fault when the planet explodes because you could have helped but didn’t.
In 2007 I walked out of the release of the new basics event feeling betrayed and disgusted with the whole idea of having to pay for books I already had. After 32 years I finally left for good. Never to set foot back into an org ever again. Oh yea the Sea Org Police came to my house. I told them, “I have a problem with management.” They proceeded to say, “Then we have a problem.” And I said, “Yes we do.”
As Paul said, many people still in Scientology have this problem but are afraid to step outside the line. It reminds me of a movie I saw a number of years ago. It’s written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense) entitled “The Village”. A story about inhabitants of a village who are told not to enter the woods because it is dangerous. (Sounds like the internet)
I’m one of the few people on Earth who liked that movie. I won’t spoil the surprise for anyone else by saying too much about the similarities between Scientology and The Village, but at least the founders of The Village had a noble intent, unlike some other founder I know of.
Thank you so much Mike for putting Paul’s piece on your blog.Paul you have said so wisely & strongly exactly what happens to those of us in the SO & on public lines.You are a beautiful & kind soul.Thank you for helping me with past memories in the SO, & for letting me see that I am not a crazy, paranoid, SP liar!!!A Forever Friend, Ann Watson.
According to Paul Haggis’s own words, he was problematic for years, questioning things, needing to be “handled” by the people at CCInt – people like Tommy Davis who undoubtedly knew him well.
Yet after Tommy Davis was promoted to International Spokesperson for the church he suddenly became incapable of keeping Paul Haggis in line and inflamed Paul so badly that he left the church.
Tommy Davis is personally and directly responsible for the worst public relations in the history of the cofS. Paul Haggis wrote a letter leaving the CofS which ended up on Marty’s blog, then came the New Yorker article, then the L Wright bestseller book, now the film.
We all owe Tommy a huge thank you.
Tommy was perfectly capable of handling Paul Haggis, had done so in the past, yet this last time he failed spectacularly – so badly that Paul wrote a letter of resignation from Scientology and sent it to all his friends.
I have wondered over and over if David Miscavige humiliated and hazed Tommy Davis while Tommy was working with him. If David Miscacige did, then it’s likely that Tommy knew perfectly well that he was pushing Paul out of Scientology with the arrogant and high handing “handling”.
Then Tommy slipped out the back door, left the Sea Org and got himself a comfy seat to watch the show. And what a show it turned out to be.
Thanks Tommy, we all owe you big time. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. You must feast every single day. The Movie should be called – Going Clear- The Prison of Belief and Tommy Davis Says Fuck You DM.
Tommy being the ultimate 1.1 (passive-aggressive) would never admit to any of this, but I bet he gets a sly smile whenever he thinks about DM running his ass off trying to handle this shit storm.
I miss Tommy — he was such an arrogant prick. And I too thank him for pushing Paul Haggis out into the light where he has set yet another fine example of someone eloquently benefitting from the ultimate win — leaving Miscavige’s church of nightmares.
Although I probably shouldn’t say this, Tommy was probably a product of his environment like most arrogant pricks. If he had had less “training” in how to mistreat people and more training on how the real world acts, maybe, just maybe, he might have been able to act like a human being.
Now if you will excuse me, there is a unicorn I need to go chase. . .
I never thought about it, but you are exactly right, Clear Out!!!! Whoa….
The genius mentioned in Paul’s letter — Leonard Cohen – a fellow Canadian (as Paul is) and a fellow buddhist (as I am) …
https://youtu.be/2HfvV5CDiiI
Thanks Mike for sharing Paul’s letter. The IS a crack in everything …
Love,
Windhorse
I should add however that Leonard Cohen observes the sabbath … and has said he doesn’t need a new religion (when asked how he reconciles zen buddhism with being Jewish) … (and I didn’t mean to sound AS IF I was anywhere in the category of either men
Not wanting to derail this thread — sorry — Paul’s letter is wonderful and Mike’s endorsement of Paul is exceptionally warm and heartfelt.
Windhorse
Amazing write up. I think I will go on and read it again.
Tony Ortega’s is great today.
GC day is looming large.
What an extraordinary, clear-eyed, succinct description of Scientology and its ties that blind. Thank you, Paul Haggis.
The good news is that our unwinding from Scientology offers us a wonderful education. My own slow process of truly leaving Scientology gave me more “case gain” than I ever received inside that prison of belief.
“…and its ties that BLIND.” Nice turn of a phrase! Very clever.
Very well stated, thank you. Taking something as “absolute” will lead you to NOT look, think, search, or find the crack somewhere else.
Despite LRH stating there are no absolutes, somehow we did not apply this to scn itself as far as ‘the only science that will really help man’ or whatever wording you want to choose.
Yes, the film is a must see as it will broaden the understanding of how scn is what it is and why one, blindly, contributed to it too.
In passing by I found this article yesterday, the ending call my attention:
“that the church relies on intimidation and character assassination to silence its critics.”
Miscavige’s means are now obvious and in the open, and it is being let known over and over. Yes, a crack had been opened.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/03/23/scientology-s-sneaky-ads-slam-critics.html
I’m trying to imagine what would have happened if the Pope had responded to the pedophile scandal in the same manner that miscavige is responding to Going Clear and all of the other revelations that have come out over the past several years.
What if the Pope, himself, had responded like miscavige. Screaming that it never happened. They are all liars. Hit websites on every person who exposed the criminal priests abuses; hit websites on every reporter who carried the story; hit websites on every law enforcement agent who prosecuted their crimes; full page ads in the NY Times crying religious persecution; dozens of lawyers denying the lies in open court while scores of church employed agents dug up dirt on everyone involved, or invented it where none existed.
The public outcry would have been 100X what it was. Damages would have been exacerbated beyond belief.
In the Catholic church there would have been a few of the party faithful who might defend such a disgusting method of trying to mitigate these unconscionable acts. There was a good deal of cover up while they were cleaning up their act. But in the end, they cleaned up. Many of the guilty got what they deserved and the harmed we recompensed.
Look at what the cherch of scientology has written and said about Paul Haggis. Look at what the cherch has done to try and handle the exposure of their crimes. And then look at the way Paul has conducted himself with this write up.
Night and Day. Obvious who the real suppressives/sociopaths are.
I wonder if any of the rank and file of the party faithful in scientology are making serious plans to depose their little pope?
I think that if DM is overthrown, whoever takes over is likely to still put money way ahead of helping people. That is what Hubbard did, and that is what Miscavige is doing. Since this is a cult that has always put money ahead of its staff and public, it is hard for me to imagine enough reform to make this cult act like a real church. That being said, if the cult does survive Miscavige, surely some of the abuse will stop.
Beryl, with all respect, not necessarily. Without the elimination of the harmful policies of the Church of Scientology such as Disconnection and Fair Game,without the elimination of the IAS, without ceasing to reg for Ideal Morgues, Miscavige could leave or be gotten rid of and someone else could take over just as bad or worse than he was. Its these toxic, out exchange, outright rip-off policies that are the problem Whether they stem from LRH or Miscavige doesn’t matter. That can be sorted out later. The first order of business is: they’ve gotta go. And if eliminating these toxic, harmful, non-survival policies and operating on only the “let’s use ARC and give real help” policies makes it NOT Scientology anymore, then so be it, good riddance, I say. “Scientology” is only a word. Weed out the bad, unworkable stuff and keep the good, and call it something else. Call it “Peanut Butter & Jelly”. Who cares what you call it, or what it is, if its good, if it helps people, and no longer harms and destroys them. IMO.
Wow! LDW, great point! You are so correct. If the Catholic Church had reacted the same way to the pedophile scandal, they would have brought down the whole Catholic Church in an instant.
The unfortunate problem with the Church of Scientology reacting in such a manner is that there are so few “faithful”, the ripple effect is simply negated by the laughter of those watching their childish reaction. If they were larger, they would cause themselves to implode.
I want David Miscavige to stay until the bitter end. I don’t think anyone else is capable of surpassing him at destroying scientology.
Excellent point! As a never-in, I’ve sometimes wondered how the female Sea Org members view DM. Surely they can’t miss that strong reek of creepiness….
Excellent point Les.
What an incredible summation by Mr. Haggis. This sentence stood out for me :
” They cannot afford or allow the smallest doubt, because if it took root, their perfect world — a world where there is an answer to every one of life’s questions — could fall apart around them, and they would be left, like the rest of us, searching in the dark for their own answers in an uncertain world. ”
I can remember having a similar thought in my own world upon letting go – do I really want to give up all this certainty and be left with uncertainty.
It also comes down to reality over delusion I suppose. Let’s hope that the work that Mike and Paul Haggis and many others are doing is allowing others to see a choice where they may not have really seen one before.
My hats off to you all who are helping with this.
Yes, the smallest doubt cannot be allowed to take root. I never understood that, and I never will. Why must everything be swallowed whole or else completely rejected? It always made sense to me to cherry pick what has been tested to work and leave aside what has been tested that does not. . I would think it would make sense to any thinking person to operate this way, but no, uh uh, you have to believe it ALL. If you believe in the Bible you have to believe ALL of it, or you don’t have sufficient “faith”. If portions of Scientology philosophy work for you very well and others not at all, why, that’s impossible, you have an MU or you’re operating on false data. OMG, if I operated solely and strictly on statistics and conditions formulas I’d be on welfare having lost my business years ago. Well, OK, end of rant, but this article was quite thought-provoking.
Thank you Paul Haggis for this very revealing statement. I really hope all our old friends will get to see it one day.
Paul Haggis said it brilliantly and to end with a Cohen quote was divine!
It is such a relief to not have the ‘answer’ to everything, to let go of that arrogant certainty, and learn to love the cracks!
Mike,
Thank you for taking the time to republish this in its entirety. I’m not sure what you had in mind for today, but I can’t imagine it packed this wallop.
I read with awe as Paul Haggis articulated thoughts I didn’t even know I had. That write up had so many powerful moments of truth.
I was nearing the end, getting ready to jump to my feet for a solo standing ovation when he hit us with “”Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in”. For the sake of my former friends, many of whom I loved, I hope that Going Clear is the first crack, that they will watch it, and the light will slip in.”
That’s when I realized I was crying.
We wanted so much for Scientology to be the perfect solution, we forgot to realize that there are imperfections in everything and what we do with those imperfections is what makes our life the experience worth living.
Brilliant piece! It puts my experience into perspective and helps me to explain to myself how i could let this travesty known as scientology happen in my life.
Compare Paul Haggis’ writing style with Miscavige’s Sherman-speak. Paul Haggis’ writing is clear, concise, genuine, sincere and actually conveys something of meaning. Miscavige’s Sherman-speak speeches are ludicrous, absurd, bombastic, pseudo-intellectual, and curiously add up to less than the sum of their parts. One has something to say; the other has something to cover up.
Perfect point, Oliver!
Moreover, Oliver B, Miscavige’s speeches take 3 hours to communicate what could be easily conveyed in 45 minutes, not to mention His sentences which seemingly never end, whlle at the same time stating very little, in sharp contrast, it could be said, to their verbosity and grandiosity, which is, beyond all doubt just His way of obfuscating the actual pitiful quality of the content; and, yes, that IS how He hides the fact that He has no good news, and, no, He isn’t ever going to stop his attempts to verbally overwhelm, nor, for that matter, will He ever admit that, contrary to everything He has stated to date, and notwithstanding the fact that, at any org, the existing dismal scene is apparent for anyone even paying halfway attention to observe with delivery stats, as they are, circling the toilet bowl – given all of the above, He will always be careful not to acknowledge, whether by word, hint or gesture, or lack thereof, that the Church of Scientology is undeniably the world’s fastest shrinking religion.
Now, whattya think, do I have a shot at The Mullet’s job if he ever gets canned?
Hahaha that was great Aqua, I actually thought I was listening to a critique of Scientology written by Sherman.
Paul Haggis is a legend, exceptionally well written. There is nothing more I can say.
Does anyone know where ‘Going Clear’ will be shown in the UK? The book wasnt officailly available in the UK due to legal reasons, though I got it off Amazon easily enough.
Alex Gibney recently said on Twitter that he thinks it’s going to air in the UK in April.
Thanks, I will keep a lookout. Sadly we don’t have HBO over here. Given BBC’s uneasy relationship with scientology, it wouldn’t be surprising they don’t snap it up.
Tara, do you have Sky? I think they might be broadcasting for HBO in the UK and Europe.
“…these practices I railed against had always been at the core of Scientology — that Miscavige was just very faithfully, if cynically, following L. Ron Hubbard’s cruel playbook.”
Some months ago, I drew considerable ire for making a comment here, albeit not so eloquently, that said the same thing.
If the tone of the responses remains positive, I’ll take that as a very good sign that sojourns in the halfway house are shortening.
Thank you to Paul, Tony and everyone who is using their voice, courage and talents to get the truth out.
Yesssir!
Brilliant piece by Haggis.
Had a thought about Going Clear and its undeniable effect on the world of Scn. For those still-in, this documentary is a gift. Now, before you reactively reject that, consider this:
There have been many, many staff and public who have stood alone against the oppressive church. They knew something was not right and had the courage to speak out. They had much to lose and little to gain. And the church unceremoniously chopped off their head.
What Going Clear does is bring that fight to the public arena. The world’s eyes will be on church management and how they respond, how they address questions from parishioners, how they manage the dissention. Will they brandish the sword? Every marriage they break up, every family they dissolve will become news worthy. And their PR will get worse and worse and worse. Eventually they will be forced to stop their destructive actions and reform.
This is real-life “getting their ethics in”, society is doing it because the church has demonstrated it cannot. And as all this unfolds, it is getting safer and safer for those still-in to voice their concerns. This includes the option of leaving.
In what could be the ultimate of ironies, Going Clear may actually save the church. On its given course, the church is headed for extinction. This documentary and its resultant fallout, may bring about a much needed pause, a time for reflection and inspection, an opportunity to steer Scn in a different direction. One can only hope.
With all due respect Statpush, we are dealing with a cult here rather than a church. IMHO, it’s greatest value is to show people how cults function and why and to expose the frailty of the human condition so it will not persist.
That of course does not mean there are not aspects that are workable. I invite a look as to whether those things are original thought or stolen by the author. I hope $cientology goes away for good. Some parasites have beneficial value, Scn, not so much ……. IMHO!
Exactly, Newcomer.
A cult, in the true definition of the word, and particularly Scientology, cannot reform because they have to follow LRH tech and policy precisely to BE Scientology, and to reform they would have to NOT follow his policies, and would therefore be a “squirrel group”. Being true to themselves and their God, LRH, is what dooms them. They are only still around because they are being propped up by members willing to donate all or much of their money. Anything good about it could be delivered in a two hour workshop as far as I’m concerned.
Without a doubt – Scn IS a cult. But, there are realities that those still-in have to deal with; there are families to consider, marriages, careers,etc. Many remain trapped because of the threat of loss. And for sure, it is the “church” that is doing the threatening.
So, anything that lessens the threat is a good thing, and in theory, makes the environment a bit safer. Societal pressures have been used to get the church to change its policy (e.g. forced abortion). So, they can change.
Going Clear is going to make these abuses, some originated by church management, some authored by LRH, mainstream. This is good. And the church will continue “attacking the attacker” and will continue lying, and all of this will blow-up in their face. More and more still-ins will find the courage to demand real answers to these accusations.
It would be a fatal mistake if, in response to this documentary, the church turned on its own members. This may very well be a make-break point for the church. They either reform and stop the abuses, or continue doing what they’re doing, which will only hasten their demise.
I really appreciate what you said about Paul Haggis, Mike, and I appreciate Paul’s write-up. It states well what the problem is and how people get caught up in it and what we are dealing with as far as waking up those still caught up in this Prison of Belief.
Going Clear is yet another light (BIG ONE) shown on the abusive nature of this “church.” Maybe those still in will get a dose of what it feels like to be shunned because of this “cult.” Maybe that will bring about ending ANOTHER abuse. We will see.
It took whistleblowers to stop The Hole, to stop forced abortions and who knows what else. But the operative word here is “whistleblower.” The “church” never seems to reform because of its own inspection of its own cruelties and how to clean themselves up. It’s only because a light is shown on the abuses.
Paul Haggis and this film can do nothing but good as far as shinning more light on the horrors this “church” inflicts on its members, exes and non members. More and more light is coming and less and less fear. Maybe one day we will actually see a Clean and Cleared Church of Scientology.
” But, there are realities that those still-in have to deal with; there are families to consider, marriages, careers,etc. Many remain trapped because of the threat of loss. And for sure, it is the “church” that is doing the threatening.”
I understand your issues Statpush and would like to elaborate on your comment.
Yes the Cherch is ‘apparently’ doing the threatening but it gets done by the individual who is ‘in agreement’ with the threat. This translates to becoming a ‘prisoner of your own belief’. One believes that by doing the bidding of the MAAs (spelled Cherch) that they will somehow be better off. And in taking that one giant step, it is no longer the Cherch doing the threatening but rather the individual themselves.
One has to say to the Cherch; “stick your frickin threats up your ass and get the fuck out of my life.NOW, NOW and right the fuck NOW!” Unfortunately, this is the only way it will stop. And yes, there are families to consider, and marriages and careers. My family and my marriage went away. My brother-in-law, sister-in-law, nephew and the Cherch tried to steal my business or at least either bankrupt it or force me to turn it over. I watched my wife’s sister Lori Daniells work my wife against me to her own advantage, creating ‘wonderful’ family events but making sure I was not invited. Then, after the divorce Lori went after my wife’s finances by trying to force her into writing off most of a note due her. I could go on …… it is pointless really. These are sick degraded beings stuck into the prison of belief known as a Cherch.
I say to my kids, to Rod and Lori Daniells, to Adam Daniells, to Jasmin Arellano, to Paul Miller, to Dave Miscavige, to Mark Kimurra, to Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw and any other know besters dwelling in the land of the cult ……………………….”bring it on assholes, the party is just getting started”.
OK……that is all I had to say about that! Rant officially over!
Wow, Newcomer, I did not know this. That is fucked up. I went through my own hell and can be bitter about it, however, in your case, I don’t know how I would react. I just know it wouldn’t be good.
You raise a good point about individuals doing the cherch’s bidding. In the run-up to my SP declare, my closest friends of 15-20 years all wrote scathing reports on me, which included outright fabrications. In between the time of my Findings & Recs and my SP Declare, I asked them what caused them to write such things. One for one they felt I needed a good jolt or SRA, to bring me back to my senses. And that their obvious betrayal served as a “too gruesome”, their withdrawal of ARC.
One of them, in a moment of rare unadulterated honesty, said it was either me or him; implying the MAA was looking to hang someone – better me than him.
I feel fortunate in that my marriage and family remained intact. But the pressure and stress the cherch and the group levels at the individual is intense and extremely destructive. Its just evil, no other way to put it.
Statpush,
IMHO, this documentary isn’t a gift unless they leave. Why? Because of the insanity of the attacks already leveled against it before it jas already come out. It is written into the DNA of Scientology to always attack, never defend, so although this would be a growth experience to a sane perfect, the insanity of that policy alone will not allow the self-reflection required to make the change.
Valerie,
I think anything which exposes the church’s lies and abuses is a good thing. I do not think the current church is something you can reason with, instead you have to grab it by the scruff of the neck and rub its nose in the truth.
Every time an ex-member publicly speaks out, or a film critic reviews Going Clear, or a still-in watches Going Clear, you are grabbing them by the scruff of the neck.
So, in this light, Going Clear is a gift for everyone who wants to see the abuse end.
Statpush, I think we’re on the same page here. Just saying it a different way.
My belief, however, is that the “church” is incapable of seeing the truth, like some boorish people you meet who are so sure they walk on water that everyone goes out of their way to avoid them. They have gotten so convinced with their ability to “rule the world” that they are incapable of seeing that their noses are being rubbed in the truth, making them incapable of reform, IMHO.
Valerie, take heart. The sheeple are not totally incapable of recognizing truth. From my own experience, a small thing, just a very small thing, that a Still In koolaid for sure knows is a lie, can start that KA drinker thinking and questioning, a la “Hmmm, why are they lying about this? If they’re lying about this, what else could they be lying about?” A little, nothin’ lie recognized beyond all doubt as such by its recipient can be all it takes to set him/her on the correct path. Truth is very powerful. A little that sinks in goes a long way. The cult fights with legal weapons and slander tactics. Their pen is weak. People like Mike Rinder, Marty, Paul Haggis and Tony Ortega are fighting with the pen, with their outpourings of truth and their pens have strength and power. Take heart because this cult is doomed.
As eloquent and precise as you would expect from Paul.Totally agree Mike – this is must-read.
Wow! Paul Haggis is one eloquent dude!
Paul Haggis – Class act.
David Miscavige – Future Leavenworth guest.
With a cellmate named Bubba?
We can hope. Personally, I think he’ll be in such a state that he’ll be isolated.
Lets hope not. He needs some socialization proceedures run Johnson and Johnson style.
Coop, you are so crass! I think you and I went to the same charm school. 🙂
Hey Surfer Dude! How much do you want to bet this POS already has his exit strategy ready to go out? Why doesn’t the fricken media state the real reason why Katie and Tom cannot communicate? DISCONNECTION ANYONE, the proven means to keep the sheep corralled!
Leavenworth is 40 minutes from me. I’ll be happy to visit him.
Only if you promise to visit for the sole purpose of mocking him. Hehehe!
Dave,
Can you hear that strange . . . ‘Tick Tock’ . . . inside your head?
BTW, preliminary photos indicate that your Dolby Theater rerun was a Big Belly Flop on your part. What are your plans for this weekend?
Welcome to Scientology Inc’s Pleasure Dome
Scientology Inc. is its own Pleasure Dome. Can you imagine living in a “perfect” world, where everything you do is wonderful? Can you imagine even for a moment what it’s like to not have to accept crap of any kind, to have only “good” thoughts and to automatically filter out the bad? Scientology Inc. is a place where only the “best” happens; it’s a dream where the Prince always finds Cinderella, and they always live happily ever after.
Scientology is that dream, a place you can “escape” to, where you and L. Ron Hubbard (or David Miscavige) will live happily ever after. Oh, and don’t forget all of your “perfect,” “good,” “best,” and “happy” Scientology Inc. friends and associates.
It doesn’t have to stop there: form a Scientology Inc. Front Group. Start your own Narconon, or join staff at an existing Narconon. You could do the same thing at dozens and dozens of “happy” places around the globe. Again, you’ll be surrounded by a bevy of “perfect, good, best, and happy” Scientologists.
You will be severely protected from the Real World; your right (and the the rights of other Scientologists around you) to the Pleasure Dome will be fiercely guarded like a treasure, as the OT Levels once were to Scientology Inc.
Please, if you will, step away from the curtain. Doubt nothing. Stay focused. Never move your blinders. Don’t blink! Flunk! Sit still! Do birds fly? Do fish swim? In the Pleasure Dome, Fish Always Swim; Birds Always Fly.
Inspired by The Underground Bunker (Tony Ortega on Scientology),”‘Going Clear’: Paul Haggis pens a description of the Scientology experience you won’t forget,” March 24, 2015.
http://tonyortega.org/2015/03/24/going-clear-paul-haggis-pens-a-description-of-the-scientology-experience-you-wont-forget/
Great post, Jenny 🙂
“Can you imagine even for a moment what it’s like to not have to accept crap of any kind, to have only “good” thoughts and to automatically filter out the bad? Scientology Inc. is a place where only the “best” happens; it’s a dream where the Prince always finds Cinderella, and they always live happily ever after.”
I believe that is the dream of $cientology. Only the good, ignore or ‘postulate’ your way out of the bad. If too many ‘bad’ things happen to you, it’s your fault. If too many bad financial things happen to you, you’re out the door. No money = no services and donations. Can’t have you bringing down the stats now. Unless you want to join Staff or the Sea bOrg? Servitude works too.
Imagination is a very powerful tool. Especially when your personal imagination is replaced with Lron’s.
Paul Haggis took his blinders off, can you? (for those flying in stealth mode).
Thanks, Mike. I agree. He is a very level-headed guy and says a lot in a few words. What he says in the film is devastating.
Sheldon, I totally agree — the mark of Haggis’s strength as a writer is that he’s confident enough to express himself plainly and succinctly. You feel the genuineness of the person behind these words. And though they’re simple words, they add up to something quite profound. It’s impossible to read or listen to this man (and I’d say the same applies to the other brave folks who speak in “Going Clear”) and think that he’s lying. This is what deeply felt truth sounds like. The audience will get that.
Richard,
Yes, you describe Paul’s write up perfectly.
Few and simple words adding up to something profound which emotes honesty.
The true quality of a man is not determined by social veneer on good roads and good weather or by how much hot air he can blow.
The true quality of a man is not determined by how nice or how good he can be, but by how bad he can be.
The true quality of a man is determined in times of disagreement, conflict and adversity.
Does he take the high road or the low road?
The true quality of a man is determined by many other factors that are only revealed in specific circumstances.
The true quality of a man is determined like the strength of a chain is determined. The strength of a chain is only determined by it’s weakest link.
Dio
I agree. Mr. Haggis’s clean, declarative sentences pack one powerful punch. Cannot wait for Sunday at 8.
Mike, thank you for publishing Paul Haggis’ article. And Paul, thank you for writing a truly stellar piece. It is so spot on! It describes my experience and thousands of other ex-Scn’s experience with lazer precision. It is eloquent and moved me.
“…a true genius wrote: “Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack, in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” For the sake of my former friends, many of whom I loved, I hope that Going Clear is the first crack, that they will watch it, and the light will slip in.”
Wow… it sums up my 40 years in the church like nothing else I have read before… Thank you Mr Haggis for caring enough to put your considerable talents towards helping explain what just happened in my life.. the transition from robot to humanized is so much more understandable thanks to you…
Yes. Yes. Yes.
That is so exactly right.
Tony Ortega at his best. Sunday is almost here.
I can only thank my lucky stars that I got out early.
You and me both, gman! I got out in ’82 and never looked back. The real wins in scientology occur when you walk out the door and get your life back.
I only wish I had the same foresight. Kudos to you both for being observant and not taking any more crap than necessary from the tweeker sociopaths that inhabit the Cult of No Return.
I want to say what Coop just said. So, Ditto, Coop.
“The real wins in scientology occur when you walk out the door and get your life back.” Old Surfer Dude. This resonates. I’ve not felt freer since my walk out the door. Yet I didn’t feel free before I went in. I didn’t feel free either while I was in, to the contrary. But, it seems, I had to walk in, stay a while (two decades!), come out – to feel free. Crazy but true.
Anyway, it was worth it. I have an almost overwhelming sense of liberation, freedom and enjoyment of life since I walked out. Life has gone well for me, too. It didn’t go well AT ALL while I was in. Its’ really crazy stuff.
I’ve just started reading Jon Atack’s Piece of Blue Sky. I’ve read other authors as well including Lawrence Wright’s Going Clear.
My first book was Messiah or Madman and it threw me in the deep end. I recommend it as a first book because of its rawness! My eyes popped out of my head and my mouth hung open while I absorbed the fact that our beloved leader was a pill popping charlatan, pathological liar and phoney lunatic with a penchant for cruelty! This was who the godlike Hubbard really was.