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How many times can they keep telling people they need to “secure their eternity”?
And how sad is it to see this annual promotion that relies on a tax deduction as a gimmick to get people to “buy immortality.” Sad for two reasons:
- If you really COULD buy immortality and “secure your eternity” people would pay 100X what is currently being charged and would need no “incentive.”
- That the IRS is complicit in this scam.
I am sure plenty of commenters are going to cover this well. I am a little short on time, so I really just throw this out there as a topic for discussion.
“It’s Time to: Secure Your Eternity Again!” (I get the joke but there is a bigger joke if one has heard of and understands the largest ramifications of another human cosmological LONG ago idea called:
Eternal Return.
The whole universe recycles infinitely into all possible patterns. (Including nearly perfect repeating patterns.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return
…and do your Bridge steps over and over again until Eternity….
Churches, synagogues mosques and temples do not charge members hundreds of thousands of dollars in fixed donations for talk therapy. There is no precedent for Scientology auditing being tax deductible.
Payments to Christian Science practitioners are not tax deductible. Why should payments for auditing be different?
Investing in real estate is not a charitable purpose. Can other cults get in on this scam?
What if a psychologist incorporated as a church? Would his fees be tax deductible too.
It’s time to repeal the full or partial tax exemption for Scientology auditing. But since Scientology in 2016 only has the power to victimize current Scios there’s little public push to fix this problem. CoSs tax exemptions are a lot for us but chump change for the IRS.
Johnathan Mark asked, “Investing in real estate is not a charitable purpose. Can other cults get in on this scam? ”
You must have been hiding under a rock for the last couple thousand years. Don’t you remember one of Henry VIII’s biggest blows against the church was to take the MASSIVE amounts of land they had accrued?
The catholic church (and other cults) have this as a solidly entrench modus operandi. In the US it is an IRS approved place for religious to stash their cash.
Just a bit of color on the Reformation Mike W. By then the abbeys and monasteries in England had vast holdings of rough rural land particularly in the hilly less populated parts of the country. Much of this area had been given to them by the landed gentry because it was regarded as almost worthless but secured a place of honour with the catholic church. The best of this land was cultivated and made productive for growing grains etc. and the most barren parts were “improved” by enclosures for sheep rearing. This sustained a rural economy such as cloth making, stone quarrying and wood cutting. At least the monks built hospitals, and provided accomodation and alms for the poor. This co-existed with a manorial system of rich families who had the most fertile lands and also the “commons” where the ordinary people could graze their cattle or raise their ducks.
Often villages or small market towns grew up around the monastery. Henry and the church came to blows and money was needed by the crown so he dissolved the monasteries and distributed the lands among the rich and powerful families that supported his cause. It is common to see a monastery ruin with a big manor house (like an older less fanciful Saint Hill) built on the former home grounds of a monastery usually out of the stones the monks had quarried for the mother house. At the reformation the Church of England inherited the churches and cathedrals and the abbeys that were in towns some of which were by then rich cities.
Unfortunately COS is stuck in the acquisition phase and will no doubt skip the supporting of the poor and the community phase and go straight into the dissolution phase when it suits the powerful.
tony-b thanks for the colour.
I’ve read a number of LRH references which all convey the same concept: we are all spiritual beings and immortal, who can’t do ANYTHING BUT survive. This is in the PDC tapes and other places. Different courses, same concept always; an immortal being cannot do anything else except survive. Apparently, THAT was the problem that they needed to solve and their “solutions” were what has gotten us “into the soup”. Look, I’m not giving a tech lecture here, just pointing out that any OT who has read this same stuff would or should have some cognitive dissonance when reading about how to “secure” one’s eternity. Ironic, I would think.
Aqua, this was my exact line of thought when I read on this blog about how the CoS is rambling on about saving your eternity. Haven’t any of the remaining “OTs” read El Cons material on this? Weird indeed.
No, thank you, but No. I prefer to not live in fear.
I read something interesting about people who firmly believe outlandish lies. There is a phenomenon called the Dunning-Kruger effect. Look it up. It explains why there are some people who are certain that Obama is a “gay Muslim from Kenya” and Trump knows more about the military than any of our standing generals and that Miscavige is the only hope to save the planet.
OK, so you purchase your eternal security–and Uncle Sam (meaning: the rest of us who want nothing to do with such a scam) even chips in.
However, in this fraudulent business model, product liability falls on the one who shelled out the big bucks in the first place (Really, Uncle Sam, you’re OK with that?). So invariably, you wind up purchasing it again and again. After all, a defective eternity won’t do now, will it?
If you balk, your fitness for eternity needs to be sec checked for what seems like an eternity right there. And if you balk, they re-possess your eternity altogether? And hold your family hostage while they’re at it.
What a deal! No wonder the Mafia never got in on this. Too sleazy for them…
Psst, the having to buy it again and again is why Uncle Sam is able to consider it a donation as in you give without expecting anything of value in return!
Exactly ‘Pimp. As donating for auditing & training gets you nothing valuable in return it falls under the IRS regs for donations rather than a business transaction.
I don’t think they’re doing the ads to encourage people to buy services or even to donate to the Intergalactic Assholes Society. I think it’s being done, under orders from the very top, as an annual reminder of What COB Has Done For You. The War Is Over is the one specific Big Thing that DM has done for Scientology, the one thing that doesn’t involve Hubbard in any way. These ads are just a gigantic message of how grateful all Scientologists should be that COB looked out for them.
There was a blurb in one of the Thursday Funnies ads a few weeks ago that went uncommented: all of those re-showings of the 1993 IAS event are now going to be an annual thing, and right around the time of year when people start thinking about taxes. That and the ads are like the Scientology equivalent of Easter, if Jesus was still alive and a raging egomaniac.
That sick mini piece of shit wants to be loved. Not respected, loved. This is the only way he knows how to do it, because showing up at Idle Morgue openings isn’t cutting it anymore.
Well, just about ready to board my flight to London. Come on, OSA Saint Hell, give me the welcome that an SP of my stature deserves.
Hear ye, hear ye, all children who have disconnected from your families: Secure your maternity, secure your paternity and to hell with Ron’s eternity!!!
The hardness of the sell seems to be inversely proportional to frequency of desired response. Anyone who has been near Scientology KNOWS that they will ask for more money under any pretense.
Tax deductions aren’t worth as much as people think that they are. To benefit fully from a given tax deduction, you have to have enough OTHER deductions already (i,.e. property tax, state income tax, etc.) to exceed the standard deduction ($6300 for single or married filing separately, $9300 for head of household, and $12,600 for married filing jointly). If you have barely enough deductions to make it worthwhile to itemize, it still may not be worthwhile to itemize because many states require you to add to your federal taxable income the amount of state income tax that you deducted to get your state taxable income. The extra state income tax that you will have to pay may wipe out the benefit of itemization at the federal level, particularly if your total federal deductions are only $500 or so more than the standard deduction. Even if you can fully benefit from the deduction for making a charitable donation, your tax break is only the highest tax rate that you pay, which is 15% to 28% for most people, For the average Sea Org or staff member, there is no tax advantage at all to donating to Scientology because they do not earn enough to have to pay significant income or property taxes, and are usually better off to take the standard deduction. They COULD itemize, but that would result in paying more federal and state income tax, provided that they earn more than the personal exemption ($4050), but would probably be better off to take the standard deduction. If they earn less than the sum of the standard deduction and personal exemption for their filing status, they do not have to file a federal return unless one of two conditions applies: they had tax withheld and want it refunded, or they are married filing separately, where the threshold to need to file a return is equal to the personal exemption, $4050.
Scientology is stuck in the 1950s in a lot of ways, particularly with regard to the value of tax deductions. When you have the Eisenhower era 91% marginal tax rate, it’s definitely more valuable to have a tax deduction in terms of tax reduction, but this is not the situation now.
They really should posh up their promo. “Secure your total freedom for eternity”.
What if I want an insecure eternity?
Seriously, though, that flyer reads about like those end of times prophecies. If the world is going to end, I’m going to find myself a much better thing to spend my money on. Got grandchildren to spoil.
It’s amazing, but I must confess that I used to believe that the COS was the official gatekeeper and arbiter of eternity. It was a spiritual toll road that they alone owned. Sort of like heaven if it were run by the Mafia. “That’s a nice looking piece of eternal paradise you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if something were to happen to it.”
Murray I think you have partially answered a question I had. On the one hand Sci says we are all eternal brings and will live many xenillions of lives. When I started to see ads like “Secure your eternity by increasing your status……..” and threats that said “If you don’t do …….. you may [code for will for a true believer] lose your eternity” after I stopped laughing I wondered what the turn on/off mechanism was and who had the key to decide. Unlike most versions of christianity where there is a judgement day, a hell and a heaven what exactly is the process in Sciland? Surely hubbard must have written about this in between bulletins on cleaning windows with vinegar and offing your enemies? And by the way where do those enemies go for eternity? And where on earth are all those OTs made over all those past lives?
Just realised it is good there is no such thing as a Sci heaven. It would be unbearable to have LRH repeating and further amplifying his stories while David Pomeranz strums his harp to constant reruns of how DM won the IRS war and the surly sea ogres strut their stuff.
I use to say once, “tobacco, of all the drugs it provides the most amount of harm for the least amount of high.” Similar could be said of Scientology, “for the most amount of money and dedication you get the least amount of results.” Especially if the results have the expectation of group expansion and stability as one of its criteria. It’s a pretty big ask (con job) to believe a billion years of contract co-operation can be available when as an aging, sick or damaged member you are thrown out pretty quickly and left to fend for yourself or sat in the corner and ignored.
It could be suggested human consciousness develops its own conspiracy for itself, time and memory are two elements that sit patiently waiting to deal you a bum hand. That’s its thing when the cycle of life doesn’t go according to plan or when the body starts falling to bits, its future getting overwhelmed or is coming up to the end of its life or more even simply put, when the shit starts to hit the fan more or less regularly and you notice you can’t play the game very well anymore. The spiritual escape pod doesn’t have a handle easily found or provable except by faith or make believe alone or trusting in some big being one day to come along or some technology you can now employ that pats you on the head and shows you to your room. Yet that is exactly what Scientology tries to sell you, your eternity in your control, and of course is available only though them. They can’t even come up with a single satisfied customer who can prove or is game enough to prove any of its claims.
I’m not saying it can’t be done but to expect it to be proven to you is as silly as expecting to witness Christ returning and being filmed walking across Lake Michigan on a hot summers day. Open domain proof of anything spiritually workable and provable would earn a pretty quick ticket to Disappearsville after a knock on the door you really don’t want to answer.
In the public domain Scientology is a pack of deceitful lies, provable because it doesn’t make auditors nor has successfully processed PCs. The making of OTs? – yeah right? Aren’t they just getting on with it!
You know, you’ve reminded me of the renowned Sea Org recruiting poster with the SOers in white uniforms, holding up their sabers, and the opening words like “You’ve Been Here Before” that suggests that one has previously been part of the elite in a past existence, and that ends: “Welcome home shipmate.”
I got a mental picture of a sick, decrepit, broke old SOer being offloaded, with the words “You’re overboard shipmate.”
That would be a hell of a poster. Yes, why would someone want to re-enlist with an elite group that had treated him or her so shabbily?
Sort of like Hitler coming back and saying, “aw, come on, let’s get it right this time, trust me.”
I have more than a mental picture of it. I have a wife who was held prisoner who was not going to even be allowed to go to my funeral. And I have a Fitness Board Issue that says “YOU ARE TERMINATED”. And you don’t need to re-enlist until your billion years are up; if you don’t come back on time you are AWOL and declared SP.
Fred Goldberg apparently has a lot to say about Donald Trump’s tax returns:
http://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/22/trump-has-no-excuse-to-not-release-his-tax-returns-commentary.html
Unfortunately, Mr. Goldberg has nothing to say about Scientology’s tax returns. Goldberg was, of course, the IRS Commissioner in 1991 who met with David Miscavige and Marty Rathbun and who essentially approved Scientology’s tax exemption, although the paperwork was finalized under Goldberg’s successor. I guess in the ultimate scheme of things an American president is more consequential than Scientology, whatever its pretensions, yet its blanket exemptions would appear to exceed even those of far larger religious organizations, although we can’t be sure of that since we are not allowed to see any of the damn paperwork.
Did you know that if you bought “Typewriter in the Sky” at a Scientology Org, you could write it off on your tax return? Although L. Ron Hubbard certainly occupied a unique position among religious founders in his authorship of both fiction and nonfiction works, I find it difficult to believe that his voluminous pulp magazine output prior to Scientology would be of real religious value. Yet, this is exactly what the church claims and the IRS accepts.
Indeed, the wholesale surrender of the IRS to Scientology’s machinations would be worthy of an espionage novel, if only we could get more information about it. It’s all top secret and totally confidential, you see. Jeffrey Augustine has procured some nice leaks and dribbles which he has documented over at his blog The Scientology Money Project, but that is all they are: leaks and dribbles.
Even the New York Times’ Freedom of Information Requests, which the government has often found itself unable to ignore, were flatly denied by the IRS. I just wish former IRS Commissioner Fred Goldberg was as forthcoming about Scientology as he was about Donald Trump.
Just read what I wrote and didn’t want to give any impression whatsoever that I was denigrating Augustine’s excellent blog, The Scientology Money Project, which you should go read now:
https://scientologymoneyproject.com/
The Scientology Money Project, Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker and Mike Rinder’s very own Something Can Be Done About represent the trifecta of Scientology-watching on the internet. (And I do love the name of your blog, Mike. I just wonder why the background color isn’t yellow? ?)
” I find it difficult to believe that his voluminous pulp magazine output prior to Scientology would be of real religious value.”
IMT,
The stuff El Con produced after $cientology has about the same (possibly less) ‘religious value’ IMHO!
I agree!
Really something. And what’s even worse is, people believe this crap.
I’m thinking that same thing, Mama Wolf! Buying your Eternity? Seriously? Truly, these people have Kool-Aid running through their veins…
Forest Lawn says just about the same thing. “Have a legacy worthy of you”. What they are saying is that you should buy a gold-lined coffin.
Yeah, Mike, you’re right. A few years ago after attending Bible Study, I was talking with a friend I felt I could trust, and I said that if Jesus actually appeared to me as I walking down the street, like Paul, I would give up everything to spread the Gospel. (buy being the low down non-believer I am ….)
So, yes, if one actually could “secure their eternity”, I would think the word would spread to the point that you couldn’t keep people out of the org. But I don’t doubt that the people who stay in Scientology do think there is a chance that they are in the right place for that. I thought I was in the right place (though I wouldn’t say I was COMPLETELY certain). Sorry to be somewhat repetitious in my posts, but everlasting life is indeed probably the number one hook in religion. But Scientology … the blatant SELLING of it … well … I guess that in the long run, that either works or it doesn’t.
Put in this stark light, this isn’t much different to buying your seat on God’s Golden Chariot.
Really? God has a Golden Chariot? Damn! I was hoping she had a fully restored vintage 1965 Mustang Fastback. Well, that shatters my dreams…
I’d go with the ’72 Mustang.
I had one of those in ’72. My older sister totalled it for me. At least she did it in style. Right in front of the police station.
I got a rusty Kombi van you can have cheap. With a bit of TLC, a few cans of spray paint, bag of hooch and she’s be a chick magnet in no time. The many faces of heaven – surf’s up!
I had a 65 mustang way back when… memories
It was one bitchin’ ride…
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says,
“God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
http://www.elmo.ch/private/Stories-from-a-great-country/what-would-jesus-drive/highrock-web-page/
Nice!
Is anybody working with the IRS to get this tax exemption removed from the church?
You know. Think PTL.
Think PTL. What…People That Lie?
Well, yeah. Jim and Tammy did do that.
I doubt it alcoboy. One would have to bring real evidence that could win a court case of that magnitude. That currently is in non-existent supply.
They have no reason to do that. He who has no name helps the IRS get there due. Notice the question on the Oh Tea sec check about ‘any outstanding taxes due the government’ …………. something to that effect. Wouldn’t want to have any tax evaders as members in good standing of our favorite cult ……. now would we Dave.
Who wants an eternity which he already has anyway? Do you really want to remember this life time ..
Maybe they should just sell indulgences.
Oh wait, that’s been done before!
It’s already secured motherfuckers.
PS – Tell Dave to get a real job.
If Scientology didn’t work for its founder how can it work for us WOGS even if we had the money to afford it. We already have eternity since we’ve all been around for umpteen trillion years with more trillions to come.
Excellent point. You’d think the clams would see that!
Exactly! If The Master, who supposedly embodied the highest state of spiritual advancement of anyone on earth, ended up dying a demented, physical wreck and subsequently failed to reincarnate to finish the task of clearing the planet as promised, then how can any lesser being hope to do better!?
Hope springs infernal in the Land of Elron, where nothing is as promised and it’s a crime to even give voice to that “obnosis” within your own once-private head. Fortunately for us all, $cn is withering on the vine, with a Super SP I/C, a ton of altered tech and a founder who’s gone awol, apparently for good 😉
It doesn’t have to work John, you just have to believe that it could work ……… if you do EXACTLY what you are told to do and you tip toe your grody ass across this rickety bridge.
Corollary: If it isn’t working you are not listening. Pay attention. Get out your credit card. Max it out. Shut the fuck up. Are we having wins yet?
I’ll stick to crappy writing. (Yes, I am a lousy writer and I’ll just have to live with it.)
Maybe the IRS could at least require the Co$ to file 990 forms to account for it’s money even if it does not pay any taxes.
https://www.irs.gov/instructions/i990/ch01.html
Had Jim Jones’s church been required to file 990 forms and account for its money, perhaps that tragedy would never have happened. Certainly, Jones’ ability to abuse people and power in the name of religion without being prosecuted was partly aided by the fact that he did not have to account to the government for anything financial.
https://ffrf.org/outreach/item/12601-tax-exemption-of-churches
We have to remember that both Dave and Jim Jones are psychotic.
I just remember how many of us were told by our regges to not pay taxes at all in the 80’s.
We weren’t meant to have to until the court cases the church had going were solved.
Seems legit, lol.
Yep, as I have correctly pointed out for years, if El Con Tubbolard’s tek werked I’d be selling Grade 1 for a $1,000,000 a completion and have a line out my front door and going around the block. Not to mention how much I could get for making a single clear or L12.
As far as the IRS, they are “complicit” with every religion, and MOST religions promise eternal life, happiness, immortality, et al for certain actions in this lifetime. (and NO, there is ZERO public service requirements for those4 other religions) To omit this fact is disingenuous. Most believe that the IRS determines what is a religion. It doesn’t. Read the US Constitution for data on who determines.
It somehow seems disconnected that you have a limited time, less time than you have to use that coupon for 30¢ off your next purchase of Rice-a-Roni the San Francisco Treat, to secure your eternity. I mean, what’s 90 friggin’ days against eternity? If we’ve been flouncing around this universe for quadrillions of years already, seems to me you’ve got some breathing room as regards eternity securing.
Silly hgc. Using Wog math again. Think of it in terms of the 1 billion year contract. Secure your eternity now so you can spend the other 364,999,999,999,910 days of your contract just living the life. See, much better. Or not.
Secure your eternity in the Sea Org. They will find a way soon so that when you die you don’ get your 21 year LOA. Sorry all leaves are cancelled, when you drop the body we will put your thetan in storage intil it is needed. Oh, you are a fully-hatted groundskeeper. GOOD. As soon as we get another Ideal Org building we will get you out of storage and back to work. This could be done to eliminate blows too. Sort of like the Ghostbusters storage grid. Dave had better make sure there is no power failure. Otherwise he is going to get slimed.
This would stop SO members from dropping the body in order to blow the SO something that I admit once considered doing. Since even death is no escape you might as well learn to enjoy being the trash collector for a billion years.
I can sell them eternity at a discount too. I would only need a few hundred thousand or so from about 50 suckers….er…parishioners and they’d all live forever. See you in Hawaii at my lavish beach house…er contemplation sanctuary. Too bad I’m not insane and I have a conscience. I could never run a scam like Hubbard did and now Miscavige does.
I was thinking the same grandeclectus. There are enough people who, having escaped the church of scamology, are still enough of a sucker to still believe the overall con. But, I wouldn’t be able to keep the $ and still sleep at night.
Why would anyone want to buy a used eternity? Lron didn’t believe in his eternity at his end. By trying to tie in a tax deduction to the sale of ‘courses’ the clams are just trying one more advertising theme to try to up sales. Well, up yours!!
The clampire seems to attract a fair proportion of conspiracy loons and anti-government goofballs. By ‘sticking it to the man’ the clams hope to tap in to this mindset. With 3 months to go before the end of the year, do we have 3 months of this ad campaign to look forward to? Shoot me now….ok, don’t shoot, wog lives matter…