See Part 1 here.
MY LIFE WITH LRH (1973-1980)
Most people perceive things differently. If there is a car accident and there are 3 witnesses, sometimes all 3 could see a different color car etc. My stories with LRH are from my perspective and I am very sure other messengers may perceive things differently. These are also stories from the best I can recollect them as a very young, naïve person and from my perspective at the time. Obviously now being middle aged and WAY wiser, I can look back and see how I acted or perceived things through rose colored glasses.
I am also very lucky that my beloved mother, kept every letter I wrote her. I am therefore able to remember things which I may not otherwise been able to, had it not been for the letters. These letters were only given to me in the last few years, I had no idea they had existed. When I first got them I was only able to read 1 or 2 of them as it was very disturbing to me to read about how I “was” as a messenger.
When I first arrived on the Apollo as this innocent, naïve child – I was immediately put on the CMO EPF. This entailed cleaning the messenger’s cabins and washing and ironing their clothes (not in washing machines but in buckets). I had one incident when I burnt a blouse, my punishment was to wear a sign in the front and back which stated “I AM AN OVERT PRODUCT PRODUCER”. I remember being completely embarrassed and had to wear it for days until I was out of Doubt or Liability…………..
The first few weeks I cried every night in my bunk in the awful women’s dorm where the bunkbeds were 3 high. It was a terrible dark, damp, windowless place and reminded me of being in a tomb. The men’s dorm was way worse though….
It seemed to me that pretty much all the people I dealt with seemed to be a bit angry and serious. I thought Scientologists were these amazing beings who had such ARC. Boy was I wrong. Some of the messengers at that time were just not really nice to me either, with their noses stuck up in the air. That was later to change, but it was a hard road. I wanted to leave but where was I going to go if I wanted to leave – my family were in the SO in EU and quite frankly I could not stand that place either. So one day, I made the decision that I just had to pull up my bootstraps and become a successful messenger and make it. That is exactly what happened.
My first encounter with LRH was when I finally earned myself the status to be “on watch” (meaning I was with LRH to run messages around the ship). However I was a “ghost”. I was assigned to one of the senior messengers and I had to follow her wherever she went and watch what she did. It was called “ghosting”. LRH did not even acknowledge my existence until later on. You were seriously a “ghost”. However, whenever we were not with LRH I was allowed to then ask the senior messenger any questions. This system actually worked well. No amount of studying on how to be a messenger in a course room could have prepared one for the task. After a certain amount of time, you as the “ghost” could then start doing small things, like holding LRH’s ashtray, or lighting his cigarette, or whatever – usually during this time he would then ask who you are and have some sort of comm with you.
Lois, 1974 – photo by L. Ron Hubbard
But unfortunately for me, LRH had just had his motorcycle accident and badly hurt his shoulder, so my first encounter was seriously a very upset and in pain person who was yelling at everyone and even the most seasoned messengers were in a state most of the time. It was shocking to me that he was in such a bad mood all the time and yelled. I was scared out of my mind of him. He basically lived in a big red chair with pillows stuffed here and there and he could never get comfortable. This shoulder problem continued to plague him until the last time I saw him, eventually becoming bursitis. The other thing about all this that has fascinated me is that he never asked for touch assist or anything to help the pain, he just endured it.
By the time I was allowed to be a normal messenger he was way better and then things became tolerable. I got over being scared of him and ended up having a pretty good relationship over the next years. I also made friends with my fellow messengers and a few of them are still my best friends today and we consider each other “sisters”. I got over the intimidation I had felt earlier. We were a tight group as we experienced things no other SO members could have ever experienced, being with LRH around the clock and knowing personal details about him. It was extremely important that being a messenger you did not talk about him to others; it was severely ingrained in our heads. Everything was also on a “need to know” basis.
I quickly got through the required courses to be a Senior Messenger and being successful on watch, I became a Senior Messenger in 1975. Our watches consisted of 3 messengers on duty for 6 hours, so at the very least we had to have 12 messengers to cover a 24 hour period, but we had to have more in case someone got sick etc. so there was an endless amount of “new” messengers. Most of them never made it and would last a few weeks or a few months. It was not a job for the faint at heart and as a result many did not make it. Most of us were females and the only male messengers on the Apollo were David Rossouw (the most successful male messenger) and Marc Yager (who never became a senior messenger). Sure, there were others but they were not around long. Looking back on this, my logical explanation as to why is because females tend to be more service orientated than males, but who knows, maybe there was another reason.
By the way, David Miscavige was never a messenger and not even in the SO during the Apollo years. There is way more to come about him.
MYTHS ABOUT LRH
- I never saw him ever take “drugs”. The only time I knew he was on some sort of medication was during his 2 heart attack recoveries the first one I experienced with him was in 1975 and he recovered from that one at the Hilton hotel in Curacao. The 2nd one was in 1978 while we were in La Quinta and he was making movies. He did take vitamins and cal-mag.
- I never saw him ever drink alcohol.
- He lived very modestly. Only had about 8 pairs of pants; shirts etc. His furniture wherever he lived was very modest – well-made and of good quality but nothing over the top. His cars were 2nd hand. He did spend money on camera equipment, music equipment and had a collection of guns and a few musical instruments here and there. One example of his frugality was in La Quinta, California and he was going to have lunch with one of his lawyers (I believe), which was highly unusual and the Household Unit wanted to make lobster, which he had a fit over because it was way too expensive. Just one example.
- I never saw or experienced any sexual anything with him. In fact, he was just the opposite. I have no reason to lie about this. I have come out with all the shit in my life and if there had been anything inappropriate I would say something. Others may have experienced something different, but not me.
- LRH and Mary Sue lived separately. They had connected cabins on the Apollo and in La Quinta they had separate bedrooms in the Cabana, which was separate from his main house. In between their bedrooms was sort of a kitchen area.
- I never saw any scars on his body other than maybe acne or chickenpox scars on his face and I gave him a lot of backrubs. Nothing whatsoever. This is in reference to his claims of being badly wounded during WWII, (ref. Bare Faced Messiah).
- I never saw him eat like a glutton. He pretty much ate homemade healthy food at that time. I never once saw him go to any fast food joint.
- Even though he was overweight he was more of a muscular type of fat. He had a firm body if that makes sense. He was tall, and a strong build.
- He did type with only a few fingers and he was very fast.
- LRH audited daily and I seriously doubt he did all this to “con” everyone. Maybe he had convinced himself completely after initially “making it up”, I will never know. But from my experience of being with him daily for 7-8 years, he believed completely. Seriously, if one wanted to “con” the world why would you then audit yourself or be audited every single day.
- He was a workaholic. He never “took time off” or “slept in” or went on “vacation”. He was on a mission and worked at it constantly. He averaged about 5-6 hours sleep a night. I once suggested to him that he needed to take a holiday – and all that got me was him being furious that I could even suggest that. He had work to do…….
So now that I got those out of way, here are some stories of times that I experienced with LRH on the Apollo.
APOLLO
Maybe towards the end of 1974, I was running a message to someone on the ship. I cannot recall what it was about, but I goofed up the message and got it wrong. LRH was furious and I had to be taken off watch and his orders were for me to give and receive 40 hours of Op Pro By Dup (objectives) – so a total of 80 hours. Once I was done, I could return to watch. I believe it made a difference as I virtually never got another message wrong.
One evening I was on watch and he was at dinner in his dining room. He called me in and told me to go down to the crew dining room and bring up a plate of food. I did that. He then asked me if I would eat it. Yes, I said, and he promptly assigned me a condition of treason due to the fact that he thought the food was atrocious and if I would go ahead and eat it, then I was treasonous because I did not do anything about it. The food on the ship was generally atrocious.
In another incident, I got word from Mary Sue’s Assistant Nikki Merwin, that the GO were after my parents who were at AOSHEU, Dad had become the CO AO (on the Kastleholm ship) and he was in trouble, but also due to them having Visa problems; Mom being pregnant with child #6; Sister #5 at 3 years old had been hit by a truck on the dock in Copenhagen (she ended up being okay); and obviously problems with the AO. Apparently the GO were planning on declaring my Dad an SP or something of the sort. I was in a complete state and devastated. A couple hours later I had to be on watch, so went on watch and LRH immediately knew there was something wrong with me. I could not hold myself back, so told him the story while crying (which was something a messenger could NEVER do – i.e. no case on post), but I couldn’t help myself. LRH promptly got more info via another messenger, found out the story and issued orders that the Jory Family can be sent back to South Africa to run Missions, he wrote a letter in this regard. I was SO relieved. My handling was that he called for my PC folders and then C/S’ed me for a cleanup.
One day I had a series of messages to the engine room and LRH was furious at the engineers, but I cannot remember why. One of the last messages I had in this string was to slap the Chief Engineer, Dave Murphy across the face for insubordination to LRH. This is the only time I ever physically hit someone. The one thing I can say is that there was little physical violence on crew. Reading about what DM has done to his staff, has been very shocking to me as I never experienced anything like that when I was in the SO.
Another incident is one night I was on watch from midnight to 6:00AM, once I was off watch it was time to go to bed. A couple other messengers (who had been on the midnight with me) decided to go onto the Sundeck to sleep up there and get suntanned. Sometimes the crew did things like this as it could get extremely hot in the dorms. They would actually sleep in the lifeboats. Anyway, I went up there and fell asleep, but I got completely sunburnt, especially on my face. The next watch I was on, LRH got so mad at me for getting so badly sunburnt (it was pretty bad), and me being a redhead and all. He assigned me a condition of Treason for this.
I did experience the “Rock Festival” in Funchal but I was on liberty that day so was not on the ship when the rocks were thrown at the Apollo by the locals. This is explained very well in the book Fair Game by Steve Cannane. I was one of the crew who was onshore and got to the Hilton Hotel and eventually taken by the pilot boat to the Apollo which was out at anchor. This was an extremely exciting day/night with all the drama going on, to say the least. I had never seen the crew so “uptoned”. We had an all-hands on deck in the middle of the night to load all the produce on board from barges and then sail away with no lights on into the blackness of the night, on our way to the other side of the Atlantic.
We had a great trip across the Atlantic, and in fact had a huge party onboard, I think it was crossing the date line – well that night LRH came down to the party with armfuls of alcohol for all the crew. It was a drunken night of partying to say the least. (But I was still a naïve little girl and did not partake in the drunkenness.) The trip was otherwise uneventful, no bad weather and lots of dolphins.
Things took a big turn when trying to go into Charleston, SC. We were a few miles off the coast and could see the lights of the land in the distance. I was on watch when LRH was on the Bridge when the GO calls started coming in on the radio, that he should not go to the US because the IRS and whoever else were waiting for him on the docks. He was furious and there was a lot of yelling into the radio and between him and Mary Sue. Eventually Mary Sue won and we turned around made headway to Bermuda. He was so pissed.
We then started our way around the Caribbean and Bahamas. It was fun for the crew as the islands were all fascinating and we truly had some fun times on our liberties. We quite often would get 2 rooms at a local nice hotel (always on the beach) and the guys would stay in one and girls in the other and we would just have a wonderful time taking advantage of the hotel/beach/pools etc. The SO was not all bad in those days and quite frankly, we were all quite young and had mostly regular liberties (every 2 weeks) and would just have fun after working very hard.
It was during this time that we messengers got our new uniforms. Our short white shorts and tie-around the waist white shirts. Many people have asked me why we had these uniforms as if there was some nefarious reason by LRH for this. I seriously don’t know. All I know is that we were now in very hot climates; it was very much the style/fashion in those days and LRH really did like to make an “effect”. He had started going ashore quite a bit doing photography so we were traipsing around the islands taking photos and he had a bevy of young ladies in hot pants following behind him. I guess one could get the wrong idea from that. Mary Sue was not happy at all about this. I think Mike has included the photo of me in this uniform with LRH – Years ago I would never have allowed this photo of my butt to be seen by anyone but now I am old enough to not care… Hahaha….
Lois “on watch”
There was a Dutch Navy ship that seemed to follow us from port to port, they were all long haired, good looking men and they were absolutely fascinated by the Apollo due to all the good looking girls aboard. I think back on that and I suppose we were such an unusual sight. But unfortunately for them, they did not get anywhere with the girls, at least that I knew of.
One of the most unusual jobs we had as messengers on the ship was at any time a crewman could find a messenger (who was not on watch) and have that messenger watch and confirm that the crewman killed cockroach nests and the crewman would earn money for doing that, it may have been as high as $10, which was a lot of $ in those days! The cockroaches were everywhere on the ship and so to handle that, LRH put this system in. Mostly the men did this right before they had liberty to make extra money – but for us girls (mostly) it was horrible to watch the person do this. Usually the roaches were in cold, damp places, like down in a hold or someplace like that and I remember having to climb over boxes and then watch the person do this. Later he instituted a similar game for crew but this time it was in the desert in California and this time it involved rattle snakes on our properties.
As a messenger we did everything with LRH. Including, putting him to bed, getting him up in the morning and helping him set-up his auditing sessions, before and after. We helped to dress him. He went on daily walks around the ship out on the deck. The only times there was not a messenger with him was when him and Mary Sue would have their meals in their dining room but there was always one or two messengers stationed right outside the door. When he was asleep or in session there was always at least one messenger outside his door. I remember being on the midnight watch and often falling asleep outside his bedroom as it was quite warm against the bulkhead and if we were out at sea, the rolling of the ship.
After every “watch of 6 hours or more” the one group of messengers would “turnover” the watch to the next set of messengers. We would tell them everything that happened during the previous hours. As messengers we also kept log books of every message sent. They were quite heavy green hard covered logs. I am sure all these logs are well kept in archives as they would be a trove of info on what happened on a daily basis with LRH. I specifically remember making doodles in the logs when I was particularly bored. I never thought they would be kept.
He had frequent bouts of anger at one thing or another. This is where it became especially important to be a good messenger and why many did not make it. One had to remain calm under the most extreme anger and as teenagers you really had to have the “confront” to handle this. You also had to come up with solutions fast and furiously or be directly in the line of fire. That is why the Senior Messengers were senior. We were the ones who could handle this and think on our feet the fastest. I truly believe that this training has put me in good stead in my later years in life.
Additionally, when we ran our messages we also had to come up with solutions to whatever the problem was. As a messenger, you could not just report back robotically and this entailed many times, coaxing the correct answer from whomever you were running a message to and/or demanding that they fix the problem – like what is your solution to problem X. It required investigating as well and doing an analysis. All of this was training for our future roles in management. Many a messenger was busted from watches for not doing the above. You could not come back with the response unless you knew it was fixed or there was a solution. It was especially hard for me when the messages being run were about the engine room and/or the Bridge – I really felt out of my depth when it came to these areas as I just did not have a clue. But somehow I “faked” my way through it all.
I also had problems when he was on “photo shoots”. In those days you really had to be adept at changing film in a black bag – a bag whereby you put your hands through two holes and then blindly changed the roll of film correctly! Heaven forbid if you could 1. Not do it fast enough or 2. Did not close the camera properly or 3. Put the roll of film in incorrectly. This would have all resulted in a major flap and him being mad as hell.
The biggest problems I remember on the ship were with his personal Household Unit. Mostly with his clothes smelling, but honestly I could never smell any bad smells. This resulted in whoever was on watch, having to now wash all his clothes in buckets. Obviously the laundry person was in deep shit, so we had to do it and bypass them. Sometimes I remember rinsing his clothes about 15-20 times to get out the “smell”. One also had to come up with the “why”. I suppose this is why there were so many Flag Orders on how to clean this or that due to these “smell” problems. Sometimes the “smells” were through air vents and then all the vents had to be cleaned. Those were not nice times. I remember so well LRH’s butler at the time – Rick Sheehey – he was a great guy and tried his best but boy would he get yelled at for not having his clothes in order, or ready, or smelling. I always felt sorry for him.
The really funny thing about him being so sensitive to smells is that in later years when we were in the US and he was in temporary locations (with maybe only 10 people maximum and sometimes as little as 3 other people) – living in some rented apartment, he never had these “smell” problems and really didn’t complain about much. I am not sure who told me this, but the reason he apparently was so sensitive to smells is because he was so OT and therefore had these “body” problems. I just accepted this but honestly, it was just against everything I knew about scientology – he had constant body problems.
He was a definite hypochondriac.
But on the other hand there were many times he was great. He had a wonderful sense of humor and would often tease us messengers in a fun way. He also cared about us. In ‘75 (before we left the ship) I went on leave to South Africa for a few weeks and when I came back he wanted to see all of my photos of my family and of animals as we had visited a game reserve. Another time, I wore a little medal around my neck (the only piece of jewelry I owned at the time) – it was a bronze medal for a ballroom dancing competition I had been in (when I was a little girl, maybe 12). He was very interested in it and soon after put on some music and started dancing with me around his office…..I think it was a jive.
To keep his hands and arms in shape, he would put on music in the office and then take a piece of newspaper in each hand and then scrunch it up while jigging around. It was quite funny.
I will end-off this chapter by saying that some of the best years in the SO for me, were on the Apollo. Even though being a messenger was an extremely hard job for a young person, our jobs got much more serious and important after we left the ship. Even though there were hard times, there was a very close “comradeship” amongst all the crew. I know that prior to me going on the Apollo there was over boarding happening and some weird stuff, but things were not too strange when I was there. It was more of an adventure shared by 200 or so people.
Next up……life with LRH in the US and boy, are there some doozies……
Thank you, Lois. I’m really enjoying reading your recollections.
I especially like the fact that there’s a degree of “setting the record straight”. I’ve always believed that the truth about Hubbard lies somewhere in between the extreme viewpoints most commonly expressed. 🙂
Hi Lois Reisdorf, thank you for sharing your stories of your times with LRH and early days on the ship, it’s so fascinating to read. 🙂 Looking forward to reading more of your story. Best wishes for a happy day and upcoming week. – T.J.
I should also add that it’s really cool reading the comments from everyone who posts here about their times as well, so thanks to all who share their stories – and the photos are great also. I really like seeing original photos and how everyone looked back then. Hubbard looked happy in that one photo, those were fun times for some, I’m sure. (Of course not for others, I acknowledge this, before anyone takes offense or gets angry, I will say that there was good and bad experiences, not all was wonderful all the time) but I do love hearing about those times and seeing the photos, as I’m sure many other people do as well.
tl;dr: 50% thanks to all for sharing your stories/50% disclaimer,apology
David “DR” Rosseau was a dear friend of mine. Kept me sane through the years I was in the SO. He had a very blaise attitude and was all around a great guy.
He had been having pain and general health problems for years before he was sent to a doctor. His auditor and CS just kept trying to “audit the somatics” with OT V. Turns out that you can’t audit out testicular cancer, and it had spread to his liver and prostate. He lasted just a few months after that.
I was devastated that this went unhandled and undetected for so long, despite all of the indications even half a decade in advance. DR was a great guy, and deserved better.
Hear, hear.
Lois, out of everything you wrote, for some reason one things sticks out and bothers me: why did you have to dress him? Wasn’t he capable of getting himself dressed? Why did he need 2 or 3 girls to dress him, except during the time when he broke his ribs, in which case I’m answering my own question.
I love your stories.
I was in the Sea Org from 1972 until 1974. I was on the Excalibur during my initial Sea Org training. I remember an over night voyage when I slept in my bunk. It was pitch black and the ship was rocking gently back and forth. You could hear the gentle purr of the engines. This was one of the best nights sleep in my whole life. Later I was the Outflow Communications Officer (mail clerk) at ASHO where I had many all nighters and became totally exhausted.
Thanks a lot for telling your story, Lois. As a never-in I’m fascinated by all the little details, and applaud your willingness to tell your story.
Good comments on LRH, Lois. But I’m afraid you might have taken the foundation out from under the LFraud school, that group of good folks who prefer to see LRH as a complete fraud who was looking only to deceive people.
no he wasn’t out to deceive people, but he was out to persuade people.
In the the end, he told Sarge he wasn’t coming back.
Good post. Thanks.
UTR, that is demonstrably false. In fact the documentation of L Con’s INTENTIONSAL deceptions are legion. Lying about E.P.s of most of the major bridge actions to sell them. Making up out of whole cloth the abilities of a Clear and the entire subject of the Reactive Mind to sell a made up subject. Falsifying his background to make himself look accomplished so as to garner prospect’s confidence in what he was selling.
You statement is completely false.
And Hitler loved his German Shepherd Blondi.
Your point?
I have one but I’m not going to share it with you.
Espiando wrote:
“And Hitler loved his German Shepherd Blondi.
Your point?”
Espiando is a great critic of L Ron Hubbard and I have a lot of respect for this person.
But this statement is a fine example of the distorted hysterics which can creep into your thinking if you hang out with militant anti-Scientologists too long.
Over time, these kinds of distortions are destructive to the Ex who thinks and feels these thoughts and attitudes, over and over, for years.
If this kind of statement were true, that would be one thing. But L. Ron Hubbard can not be compared with Adolph Hitler – no matter how hard you rationalize it to yourself.
Being a militant anti-Scientologist these days can be just as toxic as being a militant Scientologist used to be. Once again, the landscape/battleground has changed on the Post-Scientology Internet. And I think it is important for Exes to change with it.
I think there is never a need for these kinds of histrionics, and many reasons to be careful NOT to engage in them for Ex-Scientologists.
I am sorry for singling you out, Espiando, but I had to say something.
Alanzo
No, Al, it’s fine. I respect your opinion. Frankly, I just reached my limit with the “See, Ron treated Lois fine! He was a nice guy after all!” type of posts and decided to drop the Godwin Bomb. I wasn’t in the mood this morning for delicacy or diplomacy. Besides, I had a flight to catch (I’m in Seattle right now, in case you’re wondering).
There can be comparisons made, but they’d be counter-productive at this moment.
Espi, why are you always on a plane somewhere? It seems like half the time you post, you are at an airport getting ready to board a flight. I can’t stand the mystery and intrigue any longer! I must know… what do you do that keeps you flying around so often? I have visions of you as a government secret agent on assignments, or a world-traveling global CEO of a corporation or something. :p
Alanzo – I say this will all sincerity. You seem to be on a mission to bash Ex Scientologist’s – you were at Marty’s and now you are here.
I hope you can let it go. Enough alkready. Allow people to be where they are at. Everyone needs space to heal from the Scientology mind fuck.
Big Hug – love you Alanzo – but let’s pick the correct TARGET and get the show on the road. LOL Suppress Scientology!
Thanks for all the anecdotes, Lois, very interesting read!
“LRH audited daily and I seriously doubt he did all this to “con” everyone. Maybe he had convinced himself completely after initially “making it up”, I will never know. But from my experience of being with him daily for 7-8 years, he believed completely. Seriously, if one wanted to “con” the world why would you then audit yourself or be audited every single day.”
A number of other credible sources have also recounted their own direct observations concerning Elron’s ongoing dedication to auditing which are very much in line with yours. It seems that, to the degree he was running a con on others, he was also conning himself. If Elron knew his auditing procedures were just so much made up BS and he was really only in it for the money, then there was absolutely no need to spend that much time and effort on auditing. He could have hole up somewhere out of sight and just made it up; no one would have been the wiser.
A much more plausible take there is that much of what he came up with was an attempt to heal and resolve his own very serious cognitive/affective disorders, which he just projected onto everyone else in order to normalize his existence. Believing that you’re possessed by disembodied alien beings (and LOTS of them!) is a classic symptom of schizophrenia, but if you come up with a belief system that others buy into in which everyone is similarly infested…well then, you’re no crazier than they are and we’re all in it together, so let’s get to work!
And once you know something about the “dark age” treatments for serious mental disorders that existed way back in the fifties and sixties (such as electroshock, lobotomy, barbiturate coma, etc.), then his aversion to psychiatry as it was practiced at that time and his personal quest for alternative treatment forms provides a deeper historical context of understanding within which to view both the man and the applied philosophy he came up. For me, this more nuanced view of his personal motivations makes sense out of a lot that would otherwise be inexplicable. It also serves to humanize him as someone with very serious and debilitating mental disorders that were untreatable at the time who, nevertheless, set out to do heal himself and then worked at it as hard as he could for many decades of his life. The fact that he did not succeed and, by several direct accounts, died a mere mortal, still plagued by the hallucinated alien beings that he perceived continued to possess him, despite having fought so hard to be free from for so long, is both sad and poignant.
That is a brilliant post Harpoona. And it is my viewpoint completely. I can only add that when 100’s and then 1000’s of people agree to your views of life, it makes it even easier to be this “Buddha” or god-like character.
I also agree that he wasn’t out to con people, as DM is currently doing. He believed in everything he did and said. He believed in the BT’s, in engrams, in going to heaven a couple of times. He believed in his BS story of thetans being transported to non-existent volcanoes and blown up. He believed it until he died.
Knowing all of the stories of my sisters, DeDe Reisdorf, Gale Reisdorf and my wonderful wife, Lois, as well as still being a very close friend to Terri and Janis Gilham, they may be bitter towards LRH and all of the suffering they took in the S.O. I don’t think one of them will doubt his dedication to his cause. He also did NOT flog his wealth and live extravagantly like DM is doing. I think DM has more expensive shoes than LRH’s entire wardrobe.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of LRH but at the same time, the truth he had in his mind, is what drove him. He thought, like most S.O. members that we were helping to save the planet. Sorry – it didn’t happen and didn’t and doesn’t work.
That is one reporters opinion….
I agree with both your posts.
Regarding Hubbards aversion to psychiatry, I’m always reminded of Hubbards words as he said them in a lecture which can be found here:
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?15047-LRH-hated-psyches&p=339240&viewfull=1#post339240
“My own philosophy, my own method of existing is far, far different, perhaps in many cases that the data itself, because I’ve selected out, after all, certain randomities.
“There are certain things which I have decided to be mad at in this universe.
I’ve decided to be mad at psychiatrists. There is no reason why I should be mad at psychiatrists. Really, the sensible thing for me to do about psychiatrists is simply to go over and talk to them, make a couple of patients
well, show them how they can make bigger fees, pat them on the head, and you’ve got Dianetics and psychiatry. But there’s no randomity there. No randomity at all.
“There never going to hurt a preclear, really. I can rave and rant about electric shock and prefrontal lobotomy-you can pick them up in the next
life and they’ll be as good as new.”
I wish all CCHR supporters would read that and maybe they wouldn’t waste their money on the CCHR. Even Lisa Marie Presley still has the CCHR link on her website. WTF
Ditto, both posts, Clearlypissed and Frittata’s, just illuminating summary by Frittata.
I being a Flag Course Sup, I sensed there was LRH impetus to the Sea Org male, mostly, somewhat justified, physcial violence. (I came to join the Sea Org just as the Apollo vets were just newly ashore at Clearwater, I came to Flag in late December 1975, and the people working for LRH were wound up tight—but even in that first year at Clearwater were all SORTS of “rewards” going on for staff at Flag then Clearwater, liberties were almost routine, and LRH was writing OODs still now and then, and one OODs he even proposed “normal” extra day off on the week end, and two day libs, if things continued doing really well, and that was the time of Aide’s Order 536 when Barry Watson and Fred Harris did the “Plus Point” evaluation “Tours” and Flag was bringing in 250 thousand bucks a week, suddenly, and the food was stupendous, we had sirloin tip steaks and turkey dinners, and pancakes and eggs very excellent food during that brief time in early 1976, Les Platinsky a 2 or 3 star cook was added to the Galley, I remember and the crew ate in the Hibiscus room for that time period, and Flag Bu and Commodore’s Staff and LRH Pers Office ate down in the lower dining room, forget it’s name, but not the Lemon Tree the other side of the lower part of the Fort Harrison that’s where the top execs all ate, anyways there WAS rewards still, that was the norm and I understood that early 1976 period those weeks before the shore story being blown and the local newspaper learning that Scientologists were in the Fort Harrison, that that short period was quite a good rewards period for Flag cew, it was for me, I was TTC (Tech Training Corps) Flag Service Org then.
But the violence was no where in sight then, there was a lot of slack and rewards, one of the best food eras in my whole Sea Org career, in fact.
That was due, I believe, to the income from the Tours, from AO 536, and from the fact that Flag was ashore and people could come do the L’s and Case Cracking best auditing from the best auditors. and in Sept 1975, LRH had just given the “Special Rundown” lectures, and that ushered in the “Flag Only” rundowns era, and there were auditors who were really good auditors at Flag then. Ron Norton, Leike Halders, Sheryl Licciardi, Denise McGahee were all “Case Crackers” and they were exemplary auditors then for those special rundowns and case cracking. Then also the Class 12s were just the cream of the crop, at least from my then newbie view, they all seemed like giants of tech. I especially liked Leon Steinberg’s air and attitude. Brian Livingston, the Class 12 Intern Course Supervisor, back during that heyday of training, when Mission staff auditors could come in larger numbers now to Flag which was ashore and easier to be reached, the course rooms, HCI for training, and then the Internship under Brian LIvingston, and the Cramming was Class 12 Jeff Walker and Dennis Erlich was apprenticing under Jeff in Cramming when I got onto the Internship, Dennis did all my cramming, and auditing internships were modeled of the “Flag Internship” lecture tape, and pretty intense to say the least.
The Commodore’s Staff Aides then had the likes of Ron Shafron, John Eastmont, both Class 12s.
The upper reaches of the top management were more populated with actual tech persons who knew the tech, and the whole of upper management “made sense.”
The actual way it was sounds like I”m being a total apologist, but there was SO MUCH more details to what Lois tells, and the whole context that LRH’s writings and LRH’s personal day to day high paced operating, his lines were just blistering high volume in constant orders and details. Him having 3 messengers on duty on a watch, almost does NOT do justice to all he was ordering moment ot moment, and what all he was dealing with.
Hubbard had just a massive number of things he was “micromanaging” and it’s almost not even appreciated by those that were involved in just one of the constantly multiple things he was ordered into 20-30 different zones all making up the activities of Flag in Clearwater and around the world where constantly the GO was doing what it was doing, in terms of the bad stuff the GO did.
Not to sound like a Hubbard total sychophant, but if one takes into consideration the total number of orders LRH was ordering at Flag, and still carrying through with his “rewards” to the staff, the pay actually was the highest then, in my Sea Org career. Bonuses I even got as an Asst Course Supervisor in the Flag Bu Exec College amounted to double my 17.20 base allowance even in the late 1977.
There was no violence kick at all for the first couple years, that I even noticed.
On the violence, I have thought to try to write a history of it all, how it occured.
Today’s history is just so good, it helps put it in perspective for me. I knew it had to ocme form LRH, and the extent of how much violence is allowed, that LRH had to be the model for it, people wouldn’t be doing it unless LRH did it or ordered it.
I sensed it was from LRH, it only could be condoned if it were LRH’s actual behavior, and I presumed it must be very personal, and thus only those closest to LRH, or “on his lines” would be aware of it, and they shared their first hand witnessing of LRH’s minor violence, and thus that is how it has persisted up to Miscavige expanding it.
Also, there are the LRH statements in the 1982 advice, where he throws in the comment “…and if you see WDC SMI, spit on him for me….” and John Aczel was WDC SMI at the time, and Roger Barnes who was CO SMI and John both then got slugged and spat on.
And then there is the “Knowledge Reports” policy, and it has the lines saying an “in-ethics” group would cause a black eye of any of their fellow staff members who “stick pins” in other staffers.
As a Course Supervisor, you have to follow the Course Supervisor’s Code, and that Code says LRH’s writings (and what people saw of what LRH actually did) is unfortunately orthodoxy and will condone that behavior in instances that LRH was minorly physically violent.
The long term bane of a “religion” is have that type of orthodoxy coming from that “religion’s” founder/author.
“Rewards and Penances” policy by Hubbard, and the Flag history of rewards, is the up side to Hubbard’s punishments. The OEC Vols 4 and 5 mention the ethics protection that the higher tech status auditors and case supervisors were to have. There was Kha Khan award to protect those awarded it, and that was applied to protect some at some points.
In some odd ways, “job stability” increased for some positions, during Miscavige’s reign, for all of Miscavige’s downsides. Up to a point when those with “job stability” finally crashed and Miscavige tired of those that priorly had their longish term “job stability” under Miscavige.
An actual history of all the top people around LRH, and then the top people over the decades around Miscavige could be laid out for history.
Today’s post is just very satisfying for the history, thankyou so much Lois and Mike for this history.
PS: “Clearlypissed” I believe the first edition of the Tech Dictionary, under “Bad Indicators” is a photo of you, Clearlypissed, correct? “Good Indicators” is Julie Gillespie Mayo with the little mouse on her shoulder.
PS: Rather “Affinity” picture in the first edition Tech Dictionary is Julie Gillespie Mayo with the little mouse on her shoulder.
Hi Chuck. Yes, the picture in the Tech Dictionary for the definition of bad indicators was indeed me. It was taken down in the Action Briefing room by a French guy named Andre but I cant remember his last name. I think he took most of the pics for that book.
When I was faking my allegiance to the cult about 3 years ago, in an attempt to not lose my sons to disconnection, the Ethics Officer of SD Org had me autograph my pic for her. Here I am, signing my picture while in my mind I am totally pissed off with the cult while pretending to be handled in ethics. She ended up leaving shortly after that to become some sort of staff worker for Travolta or at least that is what I heard. She probably showed off my SP autograph to Travolta.
Andre Clavel
Why does it disturb me that “young girls helped L Ron Hubbard get dressed”
I could puke!
Thank you Lois for your post and comments.
Makes Scientologist and ex-scientologist not look like a bunch of dumbbells and fools.
Thank you very much for sharing these rich experiences which I enjoyed reading. You made one point which (among others) I think is very true. Many attackers of LRH and Scientology don’t seem to get that Ron wasn’t just a cynical con man. Whatever one believes about the workability or truth of his “technology”, he devoted an enormous part of his time to writing and auditing, thousands and thousands of hours, as you referred to. He was a true believer in his tech, the outpoints such as hypochondria, etc. not withstanding. Perhaps this accounts for his belief that the “end” of saving Planet Earth “justifies” almost any “means”.
He certainly had a roguish or mercurial side at different times of his life I think, he could play fast and loose with the truth which he probably chalked up to “playing the PR game”, and one could say in Scn. terms, that using overts to control staff and public was criminal and still is. (According to Bill Franks who was on the Apollo, LRH sent a CM with a message to him and David Mayo, saying that actually it was ARC breaks that caused people to blow, but that they should keep this secret or he would lose control of the orgs. This was revealed due to difficulty they were having with a PC. Perhaps you might have heard about this after leaving.)
I myself have seen miracles from Dianetics and Scientology, at least as it was practiced at the time – a staff member with a deep head gash, after Dianetic assists, had only a pink spot a couple of days later, which astounded me as a new Scientologist; later, a friend who went to Flag came back with her face completely changed – younger, relaxed and full of peace, and I have had some successes myself with different pieces of the tech along the way, which has generally made me more able in life, with better ability to confront. But then again I have seen some nightmare mishandlings and bad auditing, which makes me think that while “standard application of tech” was the goal, it was only achieved on a hit and miss basis. Those who got actually got gains probably have a different point of view from those who, frustratingly, did not. In any case, my own experience and observations make me loathe to throw out the baby with the bath water, even if the CoS, having gone far afield under DM, will never be an option for me.
Sorry for the long origination, but I look forward to your next chapter!
This story from Bill Franks which is often repeated for some strange reason, as if it is a major “why” for the state of Scientology, is quite simply shot to pieces by referral to 2 HCOBs. The first is HCOB Blow Offs 31 December 1959R to wit: “One can treat people so well that they grow ashamed of themselves, knowing they don’t deserve it, that a blow-off is precipitated, and certainly one can treat people so badly that they have no choice but to leave, but these are extreme conditions and in between these we have the majority of departures”. And secondly HCOB 3 May 1962 ARCXs Missed Withholds with: “ALL ARC BREAKS STEM FROM MISSED WITHHOLDS. This is vital technology, vital to the auditor and to anyone who wants to live. Conversely: THERE ARE NO ARC BREAKS WHEN MISSED WITHHOLDS HAVE BEEN CLEANED UP.”
If anyone wanted to “control” people they wouldn’t publish (all of) the data from HCOB Blow Offs above. Or are you going to accuse an inmate of Auschwitz who manages to escape that he has “overts on SS guards”? (Well, some MAAs would – granted – ha!) This story or event on the ship occurred long before current management made being a member of the Church almost completely onerous and such that “one can treat people so badly that they have no choice but to leave”, but that is neither here nor there in this story and late on this particular chain of events anyway.
Secondly Franks’ theory or story is immediately negated by the data in the 2nd HCOB’s statement above.
So Hubbard reportedly says something like “ARCXs cause people to leave” yet the cause of ARCXs is missed withholds i.e. overts. So actually then the cause of blows are the overts that lead to missed withholds which lead to ARCXs. So ARCXs are not then the cause of people leaving, are they? People will leave because they feel they don’t deserve it, or they are treated so badly, or – because they have overts which lead to MWHs which lead to ARCXs. So to say that “overts aren’t the cause of people leaving” is complete balderdash. It is 1 of 3 possible reasons, but ARC breaks aren’t 1 of these 3. So what Frank’s story is saying is that Hubbard says “people leave because of ARCXs (but we’ll forget what causes ARCXs)”. I hope you see the illogic in this.
I was quite supportive of Bill Frank’s efforts to revive the field and his general stance but this story is just mostly pointless.
In the scientology world, ARCX’s O/W’s missed witholds all seem to make sense, when trained in this stuff.
In the real world, people can leave because they disagree or found something better. Many people leave jobs to join another “winning team” with better prospects.
Of course, in scientology, it was supposedly the only game where everybody wins, so you must never leave..
Was there any other self-help methodology that worked as well as the tech back then? Or, for that matter, even now? Leaving aside for the moment, the cult and authoritarian aspects.
FP, at the risk of becoming irritating and sounding like a broken record to you, you’re talking to a bunch of folks who no longer taken Elron’s words as the gospel. Some of us believe some of the tech has value, but almost no one here is willing to take Elron’s assertion as undisputed fact. So. to refer to policy as if that would be the last word on the subject cuts no ice here whatsoever.
Let’s step out of using scientologese here for a moment and look at ARCX’s like most folks do, who just describe them as upsets or occasions of anger/irritation. From that perspective, does it really make logical sense to believe that each and every time you became upset with someone or something that it was due to some overt that you’d committed that someone almost found about? I can certainly see how that might be one specific causal category of upsets, but, for example, someone steals my car, or elects a hate-mongering demagogue as our president, I’m going to be angry and upset about it no matter what.
Similarly, I get pissed at myself quite often, but it would be hard for me to miss my own withold, wouldn’t it? The real difficulty with excepting absolutist assertions as fact, just based on the authority of the person who made the claim, is that just one instance where that is shown to NOT be true undermines the entire argument. But the difficulty within the $cn belief system is that Elron was infallible, so even those things that clearly wrong somehow have to be looked at as right. This is at the core of the $cn mindfuck: Elron WAS NOT infallible, but if there’s no means of having a logical discussion about things, then it ends of being Ron’s way or the highway…and that to me is one of the truests marks of a mind control cult.
This is very similar to the discussion that we were having several days ago concerning another of Elron’s absolutist assertions that everyone who criticizes or attacks $cn has committed real crimes. Not only is that statement highly implausible on its face, but just one single counter example sinks the entire argument.
Elron was very given to saying things like, “and this is completely factual,” as if merely by saying it made it so. It does not. A truth claim needs to be supported, either by logical reasoning or empirical proof, or preferably both; otherwise it’s just an assertion or, when stated more formally, a hypothesis. If he’d made some sort of toned down, nuanced claim concerning both of those topics, then that would be much more plausible. Elron demanded that everyone just swallow these logically implausible and unsubstantiated claims as received wisdom and fixed belief.
And once you get in the habit of doing that over time, you get out of the habit of applying critical reasoning and logical analysis on topics like these which everyone else who’s no longer in the “I can’t question the Word of Elron” mode sees quite easily. Try to make a valid supported argument for the absolutist assertion that every upset that continues to bother a person is due to their overts that others have almost found out about, but without trying to use circular reasoning by merely pointing out that Ron said so.
The rule, “There are no ARC Breaks when missed withholds have been cleaned up,” was from HCOB 3 May 62, “ARC Breaks, Missed Witholds.”
It was modified by several later issues, including HCOPL 23 Feb 70, “Quality of Service,” which says, “Most ARC Breaks are caused by bypassed charge. When persons are poorly processed they can restimulate a great deal of bypassed charge. Witholds are one primary cause of bypassed charge.”
This is probably the most destructively misunderstood principle in Scientology.
“This is probably the most destructively misunderstood principle in Scientology.”
It’s no wonder some pcs have not done well. I can feel for them. It’s miserable to be left sitting in a lot of bypassed charge.
Yeah but Scientology is a precise SCIENCE of creating bypassed charge…
Overtly
and
Covertly
My point was not whether the whole theory is true or not. My point was that it would be totally nonsensical for Hubbard to have uttered what he supposedly uttered. Your points about someone stealing your car etc. as not being down to your own overts, is also of course true but this is not this context of wanting to leave an organization, for which there are 3 possible reasons. However, this, from HCOB ARCXs and Missed Withholds, will explain your technical query – this, despite it being literally so, is not explaining by quoting more LRH but as you will see from the text is a straightforward explanation of all that you mention and answers such better than I could do:
“ARC Break finding does work. When the pc doesn’t change despite skillful ARC Break handling, locating and indicating, it was a withhold in the first place.
The hardest pc to handle is the missed withhold pc. They ARC Break but you can’t get the pc out of it. The answer is, the pc had a withhold all the time that is at the bottom of all these ARC Breaks.
Scientology auditing does not leave the pc in poor condition unless one goofs on ARC Breaks.
ARC Breaks occur most frequently on people with missed withholds.
Therefore if a pc can’t be patched up easily or won’t stay patched up on ARC Breaks, there must be basic withholds on the case. One then works hard on withholds with any and all the tools that we’ve got.
ARC Breaks don’t cause blows. Missed withholds do. When you won’t hear what the pc is saying, then you have made him have a withhold and it responds as a missed withhold.
In short, the bottom of ARC Breaks is a missed withhold.”
You have to be a bit clever to understand the nuances here, but then that is why auditors undergo training.
BTW, this is a recent error (since the 90s) that Flag auditors make and has somehow found its way into the standard procedures at Flag, which shows their misunderstanding of the above HCOB. To wit, most often Flag auditors are now asking for a withhold after flying an ARCX rud (which clears up easily), with a sort of vengeance and as if someone has directed them to do this, despite what the above HCOB is implying. The above HCOB is very clear, but not now to Flag who seem to have developed a predilection for finding “withholds” as an all-encompassing explanation, under every bush.
In “Recovering Students and Preclears” LRH lists 4 “reasons most pc’s blow,” every one of which is an overt by the org not the pc. He also lists 5 “reasons most students blow,” all but one of which are overts by the org not the student.
Correct MTC. Then you have the Class VIII ref of cycle of; Ethics, Tech, Admin, TECH. (for those who studied it.)
The only thing assured is that L Con wrote tons of “tech” much of which contradicts itself.
As you know, my viewpoint on LRH is NOT that he was infallible. But most of the contradictions people find in what he said and wrote are resolved by determining relative importances of different principles, including but not limited to relative dates of different issues, etc. There’s no substitute for deep understanding, even when it’s ridiculed by critics as justification. That said, it would have been nice if LRH had rewritten everything about 1980 so even shallow study would leave no intellectual loose ends or confusions.
M2C, no it isn’t. An actual study shows they are MAJOR contradictions riddled throughout the tech, ethics & admin. They are NOT resolved as you state.
This is fascinating reading. What we see is a man who regularly generated emotional upheavals in the society of subordinates surrounding him. There were ONLY subordinates. Temper tantrums over small infractions and petty annoyances abounded. Overly harsh penalties that would more accurately be called “reprisals” for those petty infractions and annoyances were business as usual.
Ordering a young girl to administer a slap to the face of an adult man is, in itself, a red flag inviting questions about soundness of mind and fitness to be in a position of leadership (we know the Navy’s opinion on that score).
In short, what I see is the genotype for a discipline philosophy currently exemplified by David Miscavige.
Interesting how different the stories can be from two people on the same ship at the same time.
I was just a kid in the ’70s and I remember well looking up to the girls in hot pants and go-go boots and halter tops. It was definitely the style.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Another clarification regarding assists on LRH – in later years which I will get to, we did give him nerve assists when that came out, but that was in later years. Also LRH did receive auditing from David Mayo and Paulette Cohen in later years and those stories are still coming out. I am specifically talking about the Apollo years when I was there, in this article.
Violence in the SO was very rare and something I virtually never saw or experienced, other than the one I talk about above. However, things definitely got worse in later years especially when DM took over and for those years I was not around, that all happened after I left in 1982. LRH could get extremely angry and really did have anger fits, but he was not violent.
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your recollections with us Lowie! I really enjoy your posts!
Just to clarify a few points here on my post: LRH always at least wore his boxer shorts in the presence of the messengers. I never saw him naked. Yes we did give him backrubs, but they were done where he was sitting on a bed or in a chair.
Secondly, yes the Apollo Stars Band and the Dancing Troop were a wonderful addition on the Apollo and even though the music was not necessarily fantastic, it was still fun going onshore to watch them when they played in certain ports. Having them practice onboard was also great – having the music playing in the background
My thoughts on running messages: One had to get into the valence of LRH, especially when the message being run were in anger. That is something I had a very hard time with as I am naturally a nice person and I think anyone who knows me, would agree. It was extremely hard to smack the Chief Engineer. I just had to take a deep breath and get it done. That is why I mentioned that most us messengers tried very hard to coax the correct answer from a person. It was a delicate balance and only the successful messengers were able to do that. Having grown up in South Africa where we were taught good manners and having respect for adults was also very hard for me, to now be a snotty-nosed little girl ordering adults around. Yes it was hard but one also has to realize that in the SO, age was not a factor whatsoever and especially with LRH, so after awhile I never thought of myself as anything but an adult with big responsibilities.
Please note that I DO also know that us messengers had a lot of privileges compared to most of the crew and we were to a certain extent “protected” by LRH.
Someone asked about the photo of when I was 14. Mike cropped the photo but the full photo definitely has me wearing a top! Hahahaha……
Please ask anymore questions about this time period. There is still a lot more to come and in later years things get even more crazy.
Thank you for your responses, I was that questioner and you covered them all. Most appreciated.
Lois, thanks for writing this. Great contribution!
Thank you Lois for this account of your days in the Apollo. What an adventure for a young girl !
Fascinating stories. Thank you for telling them
And these are from a young teenager. What was it like to admonish (including yelling at) adults? To order adults around? What did you think/feel when you were ordered to assault a fellow crew member? Was it just “normal” day-to-day activities?
And… that first photo… please say you are wearing a halter or bikini.
Seems he did you a solid by saving your family from SP declare. Do you think it was for the good of the group, or to thank you for your work, or keep you up tone to continue to do more?
What was the average age of the messengers who dressed an adult male? How often did messengers physically touch him (such as these backrubs)?
Again, thank you for sharing your memories. Looking forward to more.
Thank you, Lois. Great stuff.
Being one of those people on a mission from God, as my friend Alanzo likes to describe Scientology critics, it was interesting for me to read . . .
Its not often I stumble across first person accounts of how the use of physical violence in Scientology stems directly from instructions issued by L Ron Hubbard. Nibs talked about how he was told to use physical violence to resolve various situations back in the 1950s. Another account comes from Jesse Prince. He details how, in 1983, L Ron Hubbard instructed David Miscavige to spit in the face of John Azcel. Jesse went on to state . . .
Yet another example of how Scientology was never a warm, wonderful thing prior to David Miscavige. Sure, many people who passed through it in the early days never saw physical violence during their encounter. Even today, I’m willing to bet most public never see physical violence being used. It only becomes apparent the closer one gets to the malignant core of Scientology, the one meticulously designed and left in place for eternity by L Ron Hubbard.
I don’t know how common it was for physical violence on the Apollo and I can only talk for what I experienced.
As a 17 or 18 year old, I was slapped by Jay Hurwitz when he was running the course room (called HCI). I did or said some smart ass thing that a 17 year old would say and he punched me in the face, right there in the course room. Not even sure what I said. Hurwitz was about 6′ 2″ and a grown man and I was about 5′ 8″ at the time, having not fully grown yet and about 135 lbs.
I then was hit by Paul Illot – again, don’t recall what I did but he let me have it. I think I was late for the QM watch to relieve him and he berated me for being late and I said some smart ass thing to him – smack in the face.
I know my good friend, Murdoch smacked a guy and funny enough – I saw Lois smack Dave Murphy. I didn’t know that she did this under orders of LRH until much later. That always stuck in my mind and kind of made me afraid of her – but then I ended up marrying her, I guess I was brave!
I did hear though of LRH hitting 2 people when we were at either Gilman Hot Springs or La Quinta. One of those guys that he hit I still know quite well to this day and it is definitely true. I don’t doubt the other hitting incident either.
DM and I normally got along very well but I remember once the 2 of us almost coming to blows with one another. Not sure why though and it never escalated into a fight.
He also reportedly hit Otto Roos when he declared him. I spent a night on the USS Iowa not too long ago and I can attest the bunks are tiny – I kept banging my hear or arm on the bottom of the metal bunk above me, and it was hot.
I have long thought he was a true believer, but too strong headed in his ways to do proper research. The purif is an example – he had the means and the resources to fund research on an actual workable purif type rundown, but went with his goofy theories and ended up with a quack rundown.
I was FESing at AOLA and ran across a folder where he had C/Sed and auditor to rehab drugs. The auditor did so, and Hubbard, based on that one session, declared it a success. It became part of standard tech. No researcher would bank on a one time success – they want many, repeatable results.
Interesting comment about him being frugal – I once knew a man who was worth 3 figure millions, who drove around in one of those beatup old 70’s Chrysler station wagons with the fake wood sides. His daughter drove a Porsche 928, no fool she.
Mimsey
Thank you very much for this, it really is very generous of you to share this information on your life and contact with LRH.
I’m not commenting here on what I initially thought as I read it. I feel it is not appropriate as this is your life and I wish to respect all that you have done and also endured. However, your story has touched me greatly and I will reflect on it for awhile while I piece it in with what else I think I know of Hubbard and his life. So many vias abound in & about with Scientology. I eagerly await more of your writing.
Once again, many thanks.
Lois, thank you very much for your clear expression of those times.
A thing that caught my attention was that LRH did not asked, nor received Assists or Auditing during his shoulder’s pains.
I remember once telling another fellow auditor that the problem with LRH is that no one really audited him with good care, the proper auditing action and precise C/Sing.
Now I see why, he was self auditing for years on end. This may have led to a severe introversion with no final resolution to the numerous problems that surrounded him – physical, psychologically and personal ones. This also may have contributed to a ‘close mind’ that increased the fixed idea that Scn was the ONLY solution for everything.
But good to know that there were some fun times too.
Yes indeed. It’s a 2 terminal universe and that is the basis of all auditing according to the tech. Dns 55 is a whole book devoted to explaining just that, yet Hubbard chose to ignore it and its message apparently.
Perhaps he secretly harbored a ‘no trust of others’ to such a degree, also he may have felt no one had enough altitude to act as a terminal for him. It has also occurred to me he never stopped “commanding from the saddle,” so to speak. No wonder he felt the burden of it all as he mentions later on. Yes, introversion is what it is, his ever present but encroaching walls must have presented him with a never ending challenge to self-audit himself out of it, not healthy.
I wonder if he ever personally ever had an EP that satisfied him – I doubt it.
Solo auditing does not violate the principal of a 2 terminal universe, which you may or may not recall from your Solo Course materials.
No it doesn’t and I didn’t refer otherwise. Did I indicate to you I don’t know what I’m talking about regarding auditing, solo or otherwise? Solo auditing for everything I think is a pretty good reason for one angry and unpredictable Hubbard that’s all. Are you suggesting he wasn’t that way and was successful in his handling of his body? Or perhaps you think it’s OK to shout and get angry at young girls for years on end- I sure don’t! Anger is pretty low on the tone scale for one who gives the impression to be so OT and has got life all sussed out. Just reflect for a moment what this blog is all about and how solo auditing at the top end of the Bridge turned out for countless people following his lead with NOTs.
Can’t disagree with what you (and others) say about Hubbard not getting a session from someone else, as Otto Roos I believe tried to do. The general tone of the story from Lois however stresses the opposite of what you imply about Hubbard’s anger management problems. As I say, Scientology as such is the technological subject not the personal and petty foibles of its author – one can always find something obnoxious about most people but it was refreshing to read that he wasn’t as bad as some people are making him out to be, in fact quite the opposite. A lot of people assume that Hubbard was Clear or OT from birth and never farted or picked his nose as he researched and created the technology that fortunately we have today. Many critics concentrate their attention on matters Hubbard which occurred even before Scientology and unfortunately many people fall for this, ignoring the technology he created.
As to the NOTs aspect you mention, I believe, well, I know, that this is more to do with the suppressive environment at Flag and in Orgs rather than the technology itself, and the 3 swing F/N and other similar things as well, disguising themselves as “tech”.
I do apologize for my comments in my reply to you. I told myself to let this post go. I really appreciate Lois and her candid story and it’s not over yet. I’ve tried to respect the honesty of it all and simply be in the audience with this one.
I agree with you in many aspects. Anyone can be made out to be as a scoundrel with a little research. Hubbard has had his whole life under the microscope since he first put pen to paper.
However, no one will ever alter the way I’ve appreciated the way PCs have show their appreciation from my application of my training in the tech. More than once I’ve had a moment or two in the HGC waiting room with being hugged and thanked more sincerely than I could easily appreciate. My actions were life changing for someone other than myself and being the auditor is something I can never deny. There is something contained within Scientology you can never know what it’s like until a PC thanks you from the heart.
The rest of the story contained within Scientology rips your guts out. I don’t have a solution for the abuses contained within the Scientology organisation but I will never deny my good experiences in it.
Okey Doke Yawn, thanks for your reply.
Thank you Lois, for sharing these stories of time with LRH. Today’s installment really moved me. I thank you. And Silvia, I agree with you that LRH was probably self auditing for years. Maybe it was because no one was “good enough” to audit him, or no one had ethics presence over him, or he didn’t want to look vulnerable to anyone else. No one knows why he didn’t get auditing or even touch assists. But that self auditing might have been the bottom of all his physical problems and later on psychological ones. Good point.
Wow what an experience you had. One thing that I can take away from this is that through your eyes LRH was a man on a Mission from God, that had to have obedient body thetans around him, especially in hot pants.
Re the hot pants, remember this was a time in history when lots of girls wore hot pants. Remember the TV show “Laugh In”? All the females then wore hot pants and halter tops and psychedelic tops. and bikinis. Plus the climate was very hot where they were sailing and a full uniform would have been too hot. Maybe it was a little bit of LRH liked the view, but it wasn’t just that alone. It was the 60’s and 70”s just like huge chopper side burns on the men were in then too.
Thanks for more recollections about the life of a messenger, Lowie. I find them fascinating and I think you are adding a lot to the conversation about LRH, especially, and life in the S.O. These stories will make an interesting comparison to any recollections about LRH’s “successor,” Capt. David Miscavige.
Nice story. Thanks. I’m glad I avoided him in 1973 when I could have met him.
Thank you, Lois.
VWD!
“…Maybe towards the end of 1974, I was running a message to someone on the ship. I cannot recall what it was about, but I goofed up the message and got it wrong. LRH was furious and I had to be taken off watch and his orders were for me to give and receive 40 hours of Op Pro By Dup (objectives) – so a total of 80 hours….”
This recalls to mind in the mid 1980s, the CST staffers were scouring all of the PC folders and personnel folders of Apollo vets, to locate all of the “original LRH orders” he wrote in his various pen colors (red in tech writings and in tech notes, green ink in his notes in people’s personnel folders’ notationst that became permanent parts of people’s personnel folders, and likewise green for ethics notations by him).
All of these similar LRH orders and comments that end up in people’s PC folders and ethics and personnel folders were all gathered up, and form a behind the scenes lower level of “LRH orders” and it was material I recall when I was on the “Routing Forms” project in 1983, I was ordered to study all of those LRH writings, I have to admit I didn’t manage to absorb all those LRH written details though.
There is just such a vast number of things he wrote that ended up in the Apollo vets’ various folders (pc, ethics, personnel).
That huge behind the scene unpublished LRH “originals” I wish someday Shelly Miscavige would get onto USB drives and leak.
Or at least I wish CST would put together the “LRH Corpus” full “legacy” into some order, so that in the future, in future generations of Scientologists who do rise up to Shelly Miscavige and CST staffer positions or to David Miscavige top leadership positions, long into the future when they are long dead, then the orderly organization of the Hubbard inner in-house writings and orders are done up somehow.
Maybe Shelly, my speculation, is up at CST doing just that type of “LRH Corpus” project.
Shelly today I think she’d love to read Lois’ writings, and it might spark a lot of ideas in Shelly’s head.
If only Shelly could read this blog and read Lois’ writings.
Thankyou so much Mike Rinder and Lois Reisdorf.
Shelly, and a few of the others at Int today, somewhere in the backs of their minds, they remember what it was like being on senior messenger watch.
Thank you very much Lois for a wonderful story. It is indeed a breath of fresh air, even if it had to be rinsed 15 times – ha! No, great and honestly presented and fascinating account. Thank you again.
A fun read. Thanks for sharing!
Lois, thanks for the recollections. Do you remember much about the Apollo Stars. Wasn’t there a lot of music then?
“…To keep his hands and arms in shape, he would put on music in the office and then take a piece of newspaper in each hand and then scrunch it up while jigging around. It was quite funny….”
too bad this funny moment wasn’t known about or put into the (actor) Philip Seymour Hoffman movie, “The Master” where many of L. Ron Hubbard’s personality moments were depicted.
Having Seymour Hoffman scrunch up some newspapers as exercise and jiggle around would be a nice historical touch of LRH’s life to have in that all time great movie “The Master.”
Thanks Lois, very interesting. Do you know what the purpose of all the sailing around was?
” We would tell them everything that happened during the previous hours. As messengers we also kept log books of every message sent. They were quite heavy green hard covered logs. I am sure all these logs are well kept in archives as they would be a trove of info on what happened on a daily basis with LRH. I specifically remember making doodles in the logs when I was particularly bored. I never thought they would be kept.”
I wish someday those would become public. Those would be an item that might “sell” on their own, without much hyping, the LRH Messenger Log Books of LRH’s Orders and the period of the watches, tying those moment and day by day activities to the then writings of Hubbard’s over those same periods.
I would love to see what was kept at Creston, by Annie, up to the end of Hubbard’s life, if anything.
Thanks for the stories! Confirms L Con’s schizophrenia when added to the reports by his R.N. & the heavy meds. I am shocked that the parents did not think it quite sick & mentally deranged that he had young girls dressing him and such.
Truly a person who should have been confined to a mental institution. In today’s society he would have been arrested.
Wynski was looking in a mirror when he wrote this: “Truly a person who should have been confined to a mental institution. In today’s society he would have been arrested.”
This is just childish. Why waste people’s time reading things like this? I think I am going to replace the traded insults between the same cast of characters with “Nyah, nyah, na, nyah, nyah” each time. Come on people. Grow up.
Fair enough Mike. I seem to have (now had) the erroneous idea that most or some people, after reading such a pleasant article as this is, won’t ignore Mike Wynski’s comments and let him get on with it. I will now change my mind and (rather smugly admittedly) realize that most people will just ignore such comments that he and the few others here make, and I shall “lose my mission”. There is probably no need for me to have embarked on it in the first place. Point taken.
Sorry Foolproof,
I don’t think the majority of people are going to think any differently of LRH after reading this article
Lowie never saw LRH drink. That means he never drank?
She never saw him take drugs?
That means he wasn’t a drug addict?
I never saw Bill Cosby drug someone’s drink and then assault them. Therefore, Bill Cosby is a wonderful man!
About the only thing I will give LRH credit for is he seemed to be a fatherly figure for some of the CMs. The younger female ones anyway.
Yes, I believe LRH thought auditing worked.
But I also still believe he knew he was lying….Marcabs? The 5th Invader Force? Trains on Venus? Being injured during the war? Winning the Purple Heart?
The guy could not STOP lying!
IMO, LRH’s biggest fear was mediocrity. He had to be larger than life. He had to be better than everyone else.
Which is just downright sad and pathetic.
He may have been occasionally kind and funny. That was part of his charisma. But he was also the man who ordered a 4 year old locked up and people thrown off a boat. He was not a benevolent, eccentric genius, but rather an incredibly tormented, sadistic, creative and lonely man
You have again missed my point. You are attacking Hubbard’s foibles personally and by doing so trying to invalidate the technology he created because “he had 4 wives” or swore at messengers etc. This is what most critics resort to. Scientology is not Hubbard. Hubbard actually drank rum copiously I believe at somem point in his life – and he did take pain killers etc. as Lois said above as I recall. He was overweight and smoked like a chimney – big deal! But because you cannot perceive previous existences does not mean to say that one didn’t live previously or that the technology he created doesn’t work. Your arguments will ring a bell for those who cannot also perceive past lives or whole track incidents (for which Hubbard gives the reasons but I won’t bore you with as you won’t accept them anyway), so scoff away all you want. You will only be preaching and propagandizing to those who don’t want to change or (daren’t) look.
And you say “most people” will regard Lois’s article as negative. I don’t think this is the case at all, in fact the opposite as it somewhat expunges a lot of the twaddle that has been previously been written about him. You throwing a few more of Hubbard’s personal incidents into your equation will still not change the fact that hundreds of thousands of people have experienced life changes from the technology he created. And by the way, it was a 5 year old he locked up, not a 4 year old. (I am being facetious here of course!)
Only a Ronbot would make a joke about child abuse.
And it wasn’t just ‘painkillers’. Unless painkillers are ‘pinks and greys’
But, point taken, let’s not argue about Ron’s ‘foilbles’ (I love how you lump child abuse into the category of ‘foilbles’ btw.)
I’ve never said word one about whether or not I believe in past lives. I don’t know any more than anyone else whether or not they do. Is it possible? Of course.
Does the ‘tech’ help you discover past lives? This is where we disagree. Because I say absolutely not. Show me one past life discovered by using the tech that can be proven. You should be able to remember something (names, dates, etc) that would prove it, right? Such as ‘My name was Bill Smith and I lived at 123 Seasame Street and here’s an incident I remember’. Rather than ‘I don’t like milk today because a thousand years ago I was the King of England and someone tried to poison my milk’.
So, to clarify: past lives possible? Yes. Has the tech proven anything in regards to that? No.
I also never said Lowie’s article was ‘negative’. I merely said that her recollections did not prove LRH was a great man. Only that he was human.
(And that he bore no scars from his wartime service, proving he always a liar and that, to paraphrase Tommy Davis, ‘Scientology is based on a lie’)
“…. One of the last messages I had in this string was to slap the Chief Engineer, Dave Murphy across the face for insubordination to LRH. …”
Such an important example of the extent of physical upset that LRH would express. Not that drastic, but still, it is a perfect unfortunately permanent aspect of “othordoxy” that is lower intensivty physical hitting, but it still is nonethe less sadly inherent today still.
It lingers in Scientology, and this was a direct order from LRH.
Such an important sad piece of firsthand evidence of the extent of physical violence that L. Ron Hubbard ordered.
It’s something that Scientologists have to deal with. Even thought it is minor, it is morally wrong, and probably this minor violence is dwarfed by so many other oddities and wrongnesses of Hubbard’s and Scientology, but it’s an example of an “LRH order” to slap a person.
It’s “on the books” for orthodoxy for those that know of Hubbard’s exact life details.
This is an important detail, firsthand detail, something that the “Truth Rundown” could never erase from people’s minds. Hubbard ordered this slapping.
“…. One of the last messages I had in this string was to slap the Chief Engineer, Dave Murphy across the face for insubordination to LRH. …”
Chuck this and other incidents of LRH bullying from an untouchable position shows his inveterate cowardice. Incidents like having a guy bloody his face while pushing a peanut around the deck while the man’s family watched and cried shows his penchant for violence that pervaded the S.O. as a whole.
Mike, you probably know more about this than I do, but, I remember hearing that Scientology, for every year in, it takes several years to get over the effects. I’m not real sure about the numbers. Please give me your thoughts.
Too many variables OSD. Take a person who was in an outlying Mission where it really was a lot of fun and the person did minimal “bridge”. That person could probably walk away after a few years and be pretty much done with it. A person who dove deep into the kool aid pool and ended up abusing others because the tek and policy demanded it may be wrecked for many years after only being in for a couple.
Probably the biggest factor is being willing to admit that one was completely duped and willing to flush it ALL and starting over.
Thanks Lois.Appreciated the fair and objective LRH description.
Hi Lois, Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s a wonderful story and a invaluable perspective. Stories like your’s help me put my own Scientology experience in proper perspective. I can’t wait to read the next one!
Much love to you.
I am so thankful that Lois has written up these experiences that she has had so that we can all get a true picture of what it was like to be around ol’ Liver Lips. To me this is all very important data and needs to be disseminated far and wide. Thank you Lois and I so look forward to your future stories of your experiences as a senior messenger.
The truth about L Ron Hubbard is both the good and the bad.
Thanks for telling your story, Lois. I heard some of these same types of stories from Melanie Seidler, too.
It’s amazing how twisted things can get if you listen to other people for too long. Especially if you listen to other people who are on a Mission from God. Both Scientologists and anti-Scientologists will never be able to grasp the full truth about any of this. They are way too invested in their own Mission to be able to accept BOTH the good and the bad because they know that if they do – their Mission is over.
Thanks Mike, for giving Lois a place to tell her story.
Alanzo
Never is such a long time. I find most critics, even those whose lives were “utterly ruined” by Scientology, to fully understand that LRH was a human being who apparently suffered from some personality disorders. These behaviors of Hubbard’s are very obvious from the many tales describing daily life with him, even those told from a very nuanced point of view. The implication of this post, like most of your posts, reads that “they” can never know The Truth, but you can. That you cling to your avatar of the Buddha speaks volumes for how you want to be perceived. Talk about a mission . . .
At least the pendulum is swinging for Alanzo. That’s more progress than a lot of exes, don’t you think?
. . . have made. (“more progress than a lot of exes have made.”
Marildi –
Could I return the pendulum metaphor back to the kitchen and request an upgraded metaphor here?
A pendulum only swings 2 ways, and there are more ways to swing than that for Ex-Scientologists.
Perhaps something more like a constellation metaphor, or infinite points of light shining through a crystal ball, or maybe even a funhouse mirror metaphor. Anything other than a 2-poled pendulum.
My compliments to the chef.
Alanzo
Al, what I really wanted to say was that, unlike many exes who have gone from one extreme about Scientology to another – from one fixed idea of its perfection to that of it being all bad – you have moved away from the latter pendulum POSITION, and away from being on a pendulum at all. Hope this is more to your taste. 😉
Also wanted to say that the fun-house mirror is really good as a metaphor for exes trying to find their way out of the fun house and into an undistorted view of things. At the very least, our scientology experience gave us a “datum of comparable magnitude” – and I think Hubbard was right about this being a necessary “ingredient” for clear vision. (Or should I say a clear “soup”?)
Anyway, as I’ve said many times, you write well!
Sorry if I offended you, Artoo.
Alanzo
Artoo!
Thanks for saying what you did…it was almost exactly what I was thinking and you said it very succinctly!
Alonzo loves to put people into categories:
Scientologists vs the ASC
But only Alonzo and his guru are smart enough to know the truth!
And aren’t they kind and benevolent to tell us all what we should be thinking?
That we should rise above the muck and join them in the ‘let’s not judge David Miscavige too harshly lest we project our own actions onto him’ world.
Alonzo may not be on a ‘Mission from God’ but he is on a mission ?
Alonzo’s ‘research’ reminds me of LRH research: ‘I observed this once, therefore this must be true’. Or ‘I think this way…..so should everyone else’
You’ve really mischaracterized my point, and me, in order to make your own point here, Chee.
I’ve never once used the term “ASC”, do not believe it exists, and have never accused anyone of being in it. That was someone else who you have mixed up with me.
I’ve never written or even thought anything like “let’s not judge David Miscavige too harshly lest we project our own actions onto him.” And neither has anyone else that I am aware of.
So what does that mean when you have to mischaracterize or misrepresent me or my points in order to make your own? It means that you’ve either never understood what I’ve written, or that you know your argument falls apart up against my real points, and you have to use a straw man to counter them.
Either way, it’s not looking good for the cognitive distortions of militant anti-Scientologists. Just like we found that the cognitive distortions of Scientologists could not hold up to scrutiny, we are now finding that the cognitive distortions of militant anti-Scientologists can not hold up to scrutiny, either.
The answer is to think critically, to use skepticism against both positions, and to not be so pin-headedly tribal.
That’s what I think.
And as for “I think this way…..so should everyone else.” – isn’t that exactly what you are doing, too? You don’t think the way I do, but you think I should think more like you? Aren’t we ALL doing that to some degree?
LOL. Hilarious post there, Chee.
Keep up the great work.
Alanzo
Chee, “Alonzo loves to put people into categories:
Scientologists vs the ASC”
What does the American Society of Cinematographers have to do with scamology? I haven’t heard that one before.
Thanks very much, Lois, for sharing your personal recollections. Not only do they comport with other public accounts of Hubbard’s frequently bizarre and cruel behavior, but you’ve provided additional facts and authentic details that add, immeasurably to the public record.
One particular point of your story that fascinates me is the warnings that were received that caused the Apollo NOT to dock in Charleston, SC where federal law enforcement agents were waiting to take Hubbard into custody.
It seems to me that this was a major inflection point in the history of Scientology and a direct result of the spies which the Guardians Office had illegally planted within various Government agencies. Had Hubbard not been tipped off and instead been apprehended, one can speculate that the ensuing 30 years of Scientology abuses might have been markedly different.
Of course, this story could never be heralded or promoted within Scientology in the same public way that the IRS capitulation was, although I view it as an almost equally significant event in Scientology’s survival.
It strains the imagination to believe that in the ensuing decades OSA would have ceased illegally placing covert Scientology operatives within Federal and local governments, but, other than the “Snow White 11” and the operation that Involved Clearwater Mayor Gabe Cazares these remain, presumably, shrouded in mystery, and waiting for future whistleblowers to come forward.
In the absence of more whistleblowers stepping forward we’re left to speculate how many, if any, Scientology spies are today working for Government agencies.
Perhaps your recollections will jog their memories, and inspire themselves to add to the history as you have done. Thanks again, Lois.
Thankyou for sharing your memories, like the one of wearing the sign.
There existed a period at the Int Base of sign wearing punishments.
Now it makes sense why at the highest levels of Scientology, Hubbard would have that type of humiliating punishment.
“…. my punishment was to wear a sign in the front and back which stated “I AM AN OVERT PRODUCT PRODUCER”….”
This is a very important bit of history today, thankyou so much.
– Chuck Beatty
ex Sea Org 1975-2003
PS: Your mother saving your letters, to help you jog your memories and think of the details, thank goodness for your thoughtful mother! All family should be that wise today!
Fascinating information, Lois. Especially the part regarding LRH getting regular auditing sessions. Sort of gives the lie to him doing a con from the very beginning! I personally got a lot from my auditing and, with only one exception, had superb auditors and C/Sing. I was able to move quickly up all the levels. I’ve stated before that Power Processing (Level 5) completely altered my life. Just incredible wins. Wouldn’t trade those for anything!
Thank you so very much for your experiences. A very different “take” than we’ve normally been getting and you certainly came out of it all in a very sane way.
No thegman77 , it is WELL established that L Con thought he was infested with space cooties. He tried to kill himself over it. The Con comes in the form of KNOWING lies about the tek. Like breaking his back while researching 3. People getting seriously ill if OT 3 were described to them. ALL of the objective abilities gained on the grade chart, et al.
He KNEW that stuff was not true and he made it up for financial gain.
Mike i have been reading your extremely nasty comments for a while now. They definitely do speak for you and your state of mind above all else.
Exactly, Sad State of Affairs. Spot on.
All that matters is that the teck does not do what is promised of it. Just a big waste of time. But if you want to waste your time it’s your life.
I bet you have never even read a book on the subject.
Quite correct Gary.
SadStateofAffairs, I DO understand the state of mind of a person like you who defends a criminally insane person like Hubbard.
Thank for posting and showing the world a peek inside your mind.
Well, you might make comments about others and I don’t know them.
I do happen to know SSOA very well and over many, many years.
You conflate his comment about the nature of your statements into “defending” a criminally insane person like Hubbard.
The only peeks inside minds here is your own. I can assure you, SSOA has no love for Hubbard. I can also assure you SSOA is a thoroughly decent person who simply offered an opinion on your style.
You get a lot of latitude to say what you like. But I warn you things will not be so comfortable if you try to impugn the integrity or motives of friends I know personally. Half the time in the electronic world you have no idea who you are dealing with. This is different. I do know SSOA.
As I tell my 4 year old. Take a chill pill.
Understood Mike. If you feel your friend knows my mind by posts (without knowing me and my mind) but I cannot know his/hers by the same manner. Ok I get how its done and will not reply to people that attack me.
Perfect duplication
Can I “attack” him now then, Mike? Haha! Just joking! I will let sleeping yip-yapping hyenas lie.
I didn’t say a word – honest Injun!
Everyone here does now know with total certainty and conceptual understanding that L Ron Hubbard was a nut bag, a cook, a crazy man….a criminal con man hiding from the law of the land….bigot, charlatan, snake oil salesman?
I mean – come on!!
He had people refer to him as “Commodore”
CRINGE
Hold on a minute, Idle. William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, had people refer to him as ‘ general’ .
Does that make him a con man?
Scores of Salvationists would disagree.
Well Lois.. life was for sure different for the messengers. I worked in AVU.. and after being assigned to do the DSEC along with all the AVU crew.. (even though I was just an admin – thank you Kiki) without liberty until completed.. (that meant even walking the dock).. I missed a lot of Aruba, Curacao etc.. until I finally wrote to Pers Comm and he rescinded the order. That was a long stretch I can tell you.. not being allowed to set foot off the ship for about 4+ months.. awful. Claustrophobic for me.
The dorms.. yes.. they were dreadful. 2 bare light bulbs , one at either end of the dorm. I was on a top bunk, just under the pipes.. and just could NOT think about the cockroaches running along the pipes and probably falling into my hair as I was sleeping. omg.. yuck . Cockroaches under all the sheet piles..remember? I think it was “George” who slept in the closet where the linens were stored…lift off some clean sheets for you to change your bunk. and watch the cockroaches scurry away.
The Rock Festival was rather exciting I suppose.. in a surreal way. People were hurt, motorcycles and cars were upturned and dumped into the water off the dock…the mob was scary. Throwing large rocks and stones from the inside of a taxi cab that was loaded floor to roof with rocks.
I was on the food chain line in the middle of that night.. hauling 50lb bags of potatoes from the small boat that
had been arranged to bring us food for the long voyage to who knew where. Blackout conditions on board.
Very “Mission Impossible” type stuff.
Dolphins….yes.. they were fabulous.. and also the flying fish landing on the deck.
If one wasn’t on the Apollo and part of all that weirdness.. one can only imagine what it was like. Definitely strong bonds formed and even though I hadn’t spoken to or seen any of the crew for over 30+ years.. when some of us re-connected.. wow.. great fun and big love.
It’s fun to hear your experiences and the various things you observed for yourself about LRH, after being so close to him for so long. Thanks for sharing Lois.
You mentioned about not stepping off the dock for 4 months. I have a similar story.
Back in 72, I think was the year, I was on the deck force and had saved up my $10/week and bought a 10 speed bike to be able to go on liberties and explore the various places we visited. I remember one liberty taking it out for a nice ride – ONCE only. It was white and a 10 speed back then was something. Well, the ship was docked in Agadir, Morocco and huge swells rolled in causing us to snap about 10 mooring lines. That same night to avoid snapping more lines, we went to anchor and snapped off the stern anchor. LRH blamed the deck force for all of this. We all got assigned liability – for 6 months.
So, no liberty for 6 months….my bike that I saved up about $150 for – rusted! I sold it to some Brit that worked in FB for $10 I seem to recall as I didn’t think I would ever have a liberty again. He cleaned it up and had a nice bike.
The one thing though about this adventure is that the deck force grew into a real team, good buddies all. I hope they are all doing well in life and out of that nut-job Sea Org. I still remember all of them and their names.
Would you mind letting us know what AVU and DSEC were? These are not terms I’m familiar with.
AVU stands for Authority and Verifications Unit. DSEC is the Data Series Evaluations Course.
Authorization and Verification Unit.
Data Series Evaluators Course.
Thanks. I’m rusty. 🙂
Thanks. I’m OSD.
Is that like OCD? 🙂
A distant cousin…
Madge, you and Lois both mentioned the horrible dorms on the ship… grrrr….I remember them well.
My first night on the ship, I was told to go to the men’s dorm and pick out a bunk. I was told there wasn’t many free bunks but I found one right next to the door as you entered – heck, that was easy to find. Well, that night I found out why that bunk was empty. The boy that slept in the top bunk would piss his bed every night and with the foam mattress it would act as a sponge until properly soaked and then drain down on the bed below, which was MY BED. That night I took my blanket and pillow and moved into a lifeboat as my new bed.
I pretty much slept in the lifeboat for probably 3 or 4 months until I got to move in with the deck hand berthing in the focsel. I did end up back in the lifeboats though when posted in FB on a schedule ending at 4am and waking around noon. I would wake up with the sun burning down on my face. I’m still getting the cancer cut out of my face for that. I had a good tan though and it is not melanoma so not too bad.
Great stories. Thanks for your balanced recollections!
I had balanced recollections once. Now, I can’t recall a thing.