Scientology, neatly summarized in poster form.
The world of scientology revolves around money. Scientology organizations rape and pillage to get their hands on every dollar possible. Individual scientologists constantly struggle to hang onto enough that is not sucked into the religious vacuum cleaner to be able to live.
Then a few of the money-worshippers actually make THEIR money by convincing other scientologists to pay them for telling them how to make enough money to survive.
It’s like the old illustration of the little fish being eaten by the bigger fish that is in turn devoured by the even larger one. It all revolves around money — that which L. Ron Hubbard himself called the “lowest level on the scale of motivation”.
Hypocrisy is the watchword of Scientology.
Aquamarine says
Off topic:
Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi, aka COB’s Safe-Pointed Ass-Kisser in the Sunshine State, is figuring in assorted charges of a lawsuit the New York A/G is bringing against the Trump Foundation.
Sorry (hanging head in shame) that I don’t yet know how to post a link but google “Trump Bondi” and the Tampa Bay Times article and many others will surface for your reading enjoyment – or perhaps not, as the case may be..
Visitor says
I spent way too long in the morgue
Kowtowing to rules on all fours
Woke up to the con
That started with Ron
Raking in money like whores
Old Surfer Dude says
Whew! You’re good!
Gus Fiore says
ALCOBOY,
Please clarify which religion you are referring to.
BKmole says
I have seen very little creativity and actual innovative products or art coming from scientologists. Normally they are able to make money finding services and filling needs that other business people have not figured out. They are not innovative.
Innovators do not fit in to Scientology.
Visitor says
There once was a cult on the ropes
Attacking all critics who spoke
Their founder’s corruption
Was counter productive
Their tech but a pig in a poke
Old Surfer Dude says
Outstanding post! Bravo!
Kronomex says
But, but, Dan must be doing incredible business, just look at all the five star ratings his racket…oops, company is getting.
https://www.google.com/search?q=dan+york+stellar+emarketing&client=firefox-b-ab&gbv=1&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjPzq-1_dHbAhXEFZQKHawUAzkQ_AUIBA
My favourite bit is Dan’s twitter – Joined in April 2010 and…check for yourself –
https://twitter.com/dyorkstellar
Then have a look at the address listed for Stellar but you will only see a handful of businesses there –
http://www.buzzfile.com/business/Stellar~Emarketing-866-863-8452
Business is certainly not stellar for Stellar.
This bit is hilarious –
“Stellar-eMarketing, Inc. is one of the top 5 most ethical and actionable SEO companies in the business per Moz in 2013. We are an international marketing company based in Nashville, TN. We’re one of the best in the business, and you can’t afford not to hire us.”
Alcoboy says
Speaking as someone who knew Dan York personally when he was on staff at CCNashville, I can tell you that this is not a man from whom I would solicit business advice from. That’s right, folks! This “Success Guru” got his start in Nashville as a Scientology staff member who blew shortly afterwards. I’m guessing he used some of his wealth to pay off his freeloader debt. I mean, hey, that is part of the Affluence Formula!
Title Waves says
Probably one thing that irks me most about this fraudulent religious organization is the mere fact that if a person decides to contribute to one’s community—do ANYTHING charitable, they MUST, MUST, MUST check first with the cult to “make sure it’s okay.”
Then, and ONLY then, they must ALWAYS atribute their original ideas and good works to LCon Hubbard and Scamology…Even though they had fuk all to do with it!
Truthfully, Any and ALL acts of benevolence which scns originate on their own and/or execute become the PROPERTY of the cult.
You cannot think, do or act for yourself, ever!
Scientology robs and rapes in more ways than the obvious.
Hutche says
That is so funny!
My business twitter account only started last October has 5.5k followers (IOOIaustralia) and my Instagram account 4 times more than that. Must be all the ‘tech’ I do NOT now use ??
Visitor says
If you know the tech it will infect you.
Old Surfer Dude says
And then you’ll become one of them. The Walking Dead.
Just Hummin' Along says
Wait, and all day seminar with breakfast, lunch, and dinner AND seminar materials for $25? Are the seminar materials edible?
Old Surfer Dude says
I hope so because I’ve been chewing on one for the last 3 hours.
Joe Pendleton says
And to think I got out of the CoS with 99% of my money still in my bank accounts … Th assholes could never break my “shore story” on my finances … Didn’t even have to lie … Just leave out data and misdirect … Worse thing you can do is to be totally honest in the CoS … Just play them … Until you get tired of the same old moronic game …
Old Surfer Dude says
Good on ya, Joe!
I Yawnalot says
Hammer, meet nail!
Old Surfer Dude says
I’d rather be the hammer…
Ms. B. Haven says
“How to free yourself from problems… in minutes!”
Does this mean you can just skip the expense and drudgery of ‘grade1’? Or, for those who have already completed ‘grade 1’ do they have to re-do it because they falsely attested? (There’s a little ethics fun involved if that’s the case.)
No matter, you will be tested on your ability to put this into practice at the end of the seminar when the regges descend to empty you bank accounts. Let’s see how the mighty the thetans being duped deal with this foolproof problem and then live a decent lifestyle.
A J says
Some cults encourage their members to go on the dole, file for welfare benefits. I have two questions for every successful CoS member I see how many are living in poverty or working 16 hours a day to make ends meet? It would seem since CoS is constantly hustling for money from their members it seems unlikely any actuve CoS members are on welfare.
Old Surfer Dude says
And the funny thing is…IT’S ALL MAKE BELIEVE! There’s no such thing as Super Powers! It’s all fraud. One big giant fraud.
Visitor says
Damn, and I was so looking forward to OT XIII. Maybe Pat Broeker can help me out.
Old Surfer Dude says
That is, IF you can find him.
Title Waves says
Diehard loyalists — 35+ years in ARE on welfare– they just don’t talk about it because it’s out PR….
Trust me on that one.
Once again, your tax dollars at work to support the cult that has tax-exempt status.
A J says
Thanks for your response. I wondered about that. It seems to me that for all the CoS talk about “big wins” and success that winning and success only mean giving more money or getting more money into CoS.
Donna C May says
The Bible says that ” money is the ROOT of all evil.” I think that any “church” that gives seminars on how to improve your money making skill, usually means to give more to them and you get less to support yourself and your family.
Visitor says
It’s actually this:
“For the love of money is the root of all evil”
King James Bible
1 Timothy 6:10
Peter Norton says
And what do we know about Timothy? But note the slight difference between “Money is the root of all evil” and “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil”.
Old Surfer Dude says
Truer words were never spoken.
Aquamarine says
Along with a lot of smart things, the Bible says a number of dumb things and this is one of them. Money is simply processed cotton with stuff printed on it that we use as a medium of exchange. Some people are obsessed with it and insatiably greedy for it, which creates big problems, certainly.
Just Hummin' Along says
Actually that is what this verse in the Bible is referring to; greed, wealth and the lengths some will go to to get it and keep it. It isn’t talking about physical dollars and coins.
1 Timothy 6: 9-10 – But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. “For the love of money “is the root of all kinds of evil”.
Aquamarine says
Bingo!
Old Surfer Dude says
Wow! Did you win?
Alcoboy says
Well, let’s clear up this common misconception. In the book of Ephesians, Paul does not say that money is the root of all evil but rather that the LOVE of money, or greed, is the root of all evil. And, in that vein, you are right as usual, Aqua. People do get obsessed with money (I have a certain world religion in mind. Take three guesses which one it is. The first two guesses don’t count) and, yes, it does create big problems. I feel that this is why Saint Paul cautioned the Ephesian Christians about being greedy.
Miss Q says
This is often misquoted. The quote is “For a love of money is the root of all evil.”
Scientology does love money, though.
Aquamarine says
Thanks Alco and Miss Q, – yes the insatiable craving for it. I could never understand that. Which is probably why I’m not rich 🙂
mwesten says
I love how they prattle on about all these “barriers” and “stops” to going up the bridge. The irony that the cherch has implemented these barriers is clearly lost on them. Rather than adapt to customer trends, restrategise and innovate, they carry on doing what they’ve always done. Meanwhile, the orgs are empty, events go unattended and the planet remains more “uncleared” now than its ever been.
Round ball bearing. says
Well said. The practice of imposing arbitrary barriers which are priced so most people can only afford to go a 1/3 of the way in one lifetime is knowing and calculated on the part of the cult. Some of the tech might give a good result some of the time but that does not negate the truth of what it’s really all about. They really were effective for a long time in bleeding people dry. So glad so many people have figured the scam out and are speaking out. Good times.
Balletlady says
Nothing new here…..Social Security gave me an increase in financial benefits….than TOOK that entire increase amount to pay for my Medicare benefits……oh yes, our co pay health insurance went up too…..
Meryl Weiner says
I’ve got to admit, this stuff is some of the best comedy material being written today:-D One of the ads (for lack of a better word) even reads: “…get up The Bridge, donate and live a fantastic lifestyle.” Yikes!!! By the way, you don’t go UP a bridge, you CROSS it (I realize that I’m getting very picky in my old age)!!
Old Surfer Dude says
No you’re not, Meryl! The stupidity of going UP the bridge is laughable! You go over a bridge! But, this is Scientology. So, of course, it’s idiotic.
You’re right and they’re wrong. Whew! I’ve wanted to say that for a long time.
Visitor says
Across the bridge and down the chute to total fleecedom. Hip, hip, insane!
Old Surfer Dude says
Nicely done!
I Yawnalot says
A reverse SS – I like it!
Meryl says
Thanks OSD, also glad you finally got to say it?
Old Surfer Dude says
Had to get it off my chest. Couldn’t take it anymore.
Aquamarine says
You’re right, Meryl! Funny, I never spotted that wrong usage until you pointed it out. “Up”, NOT “across”. Funny!
Mary says
“One of the most real speakers they have ever seen”. Okay, , , , ‘most real’? Maybe this comes from all the seminars where they just go and watch a video of someone. Or maybe it’s just more Sci-speak/gobbledygook!
jburtis2013 says
Where you watch a grainy video of another video filmed by an iPhone watching a TV show.
Old Surfer Dude says
I was a gobbledygook once. People made fun of me.
Visitor says
Now you’re talkin’ turkey!
Old Surfer Dude says
Now I’m hungry!
Aquamarine says
Alright, people, stop the J&Ding.and LISTEN to this very “real” speaker. And, yes, he IS quite real. You’re not imagining him, are you?
Old Surfer Dude says
Hush! My BTs are talking to me.
Aquamarine says
Tell them I said hello.
Visitor says
I had ten of them just blow en masse when I told them where to find LRH. It was Clusters last stand.
Old Surfer Dude says
LOL!
Aquamarine says
LOL!
Robert Almblad says
Avaricious money gathering is something LRH did his whole life, but he didn’t tell us slaves who were working for free and motivated by duty. In contrast, Miscavige’s brand of avaricious money gathering, like IAS, Idle Org buildings, etc.. is based on no exchange of services or anything. This is not only criminal by Scientology definition, it is also the reason for the crash and burn of this whole subject.
Old Surfer Dude says
Money, money, money (high pitch sound), money! Money, money, money, (high pitch sound) money.
Gail Shourds says
Good grief how to go up the bridge, donate more and have a fantastic life style! I don’t think being broke and in debt constantly equals fantastic. Time to burn that bridge
Old Surfer Dude says
We can also blow it up.
I Yawnalot says
But it doesn’t exist. I’ve blown up a lot of stuff in my military life, including bridges. It’s impossible to blow up something that isn’t there. There are other ways, some very personal & direct, some by legal, others by treachery from within, of ending/terminating something, but it resides in a bunker surrounded by security – that’s where the true objective is. Oh, it knows it’s a target too, but from it’s perspective that’s the mark of his success. Time on the other hand doesn’t care about any of this, it wins either way – just wish it would hurry up with Scientology.
zemooo says
Well, there are two more ‘money managers’ who are working the $cieno circuit. I hope they don’t piss of Michael Chan, he might send his enforcers after anyone trying to tap his turf.
Doesn’t Dan York look like some future subject of an Amber Alert? You know the type, someone who runs away with a 14 year old girl.
Old Surfer Dude says
I believe they do that in the back woods of Tennessee.
Gus Cox says
“Serial Entrepreneur” lol
He does look like a serial… something…
Valerie says
If I saw some man looking at my daughter like that, he would be singing soprano.
Old Surfer Dude says
Girl, I like your style!
Gus Cox says
“…how to apply the tech successfully in order to get up the bridge, donate, and live a fantastic lifestyle.”
Bwaaaaaaa ha-ha-ha-haaaaa ha ha!
Forget about the lifestyle part – the more you make, the more they’ll take. Anybody who wants a “fantastic lifestyle” is just being “PTS to the middle class!” Give those bastards a million bucks and they’ll be like, “So let’s get to work on your next status.”
Marne says
‘Hypocrisy is the watchword of Scientology’; so is Gullibility. If they believe that any one worth his salt will offer a ‘seminar /breakfast,lunch,&dinner/ +materials’ for a paltry $25, there’s no denying they are GULLIBLE!
Peggy L says
“It’s like the old illustration of the little fish being eaten by the bigger fish that is in turn devoured by the even larger one. It all revolves around money — that which L. Ron Hubbard himself called the “lowest level on the scale of motivation”.”
Is that sort of a scientology cult fuster cluck?
Old Surfer Dude says
I was a fuster cluck once. All the chickens loved me.
Peggy L says
I just knew you were a chick magnet!
Old Surfer Dude says
It’s in my jeans…..um…. I mean genes.
Old Surfer Dude says
It come with the territory…
Peggy L says
Mazel Tov Old Surfer Dude 🙂
Glenn says
How to Make Your Problems Disappear! Isn’t this exactly what Grade 1 is supposed to give one? The ability to recognize the source of problems and make them vanish. Listening to Dan York’s lecture surely would be a LOT cheaper but just as surely it too wouldn’t deliver the result that is promised. Scamtology at it again. If they say it, it’s a lie.
Visitor says
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something
I think you’ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna grab your cash
I wanna grab your cash
I wanna grab your cash
Oh please, promise me
No questions you will ask
And please, thank COB
When I take all your cash
I love to grab your cash
I wanna grab your cash
And when I reg you I feel happy
Inside
It’s such a feeling that my lust
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
Yeah, you’ve got that something
I think you’ll understand
When I say that something
I wanna grab your cash
I wanna grab your cash
I wanna grab your cash!
Lynn Furderer says
That is great!!
Aquamarine says
Per-FECT, Visitor. A masterpiece of LOL, thank you!
Visitor says
Always happy to serve the cause. ?
Aquamarine says
Well, Visitor – and I’ve been meaning to say this to you for some time now:
I want you to know how much I mean to you, and how much you appreciate me, not only all that I do, my immense talent and so forth, but total appreciation for who I am as a person.
I’d also like you to know how grateful you are just to know me.
And, Visitor, one last thing: understand that, no matter the circumstance, whatever the situation, you’ll always be there for me when i need something.
Visitor says
Huh?
Old Surfer Dude says
Don’t look at me, visitor! I’m broke!
Aquamarine says
No worries, Visitor.! My apologies! That’s just my sick humor. My BF;s birthday is coming up and I was practicing on the blog here with you the kind of thing I’m going to write on his birthday card. He has the same sick humor that I do and it will make him laugh. But, again, no worries please! I should have put smiley faces in what I wrote because unless you know me the intended humor is certainly obscure! My bad!
Glenn says
Aqua,
The humor was not obscure at all and you and I have never met. I totally got it right from the start. In fact I laughed thinking it sounded much like some of what would dribble out of COB at some event. Anyway, loved it all. And bet your BF will too.
Old Surfer Dude says
I LOVE you sick humor! Sick stuff is just so bitchin.’
Aquamarine says
Oh, Ok good, and thanks, Glenn, OSD (and hopefully Visitor too, who might have freaked out for a bit)..
Visitor says
After a session with my Jungian analyst I was able to process the upset. ?
Joe Pendleton says
Now THAT is funny, Visitor!
Katy Lied says
From RipoffReport.com, regarding Dan York’s company, Stellar eMarketing:
“All I can tell you is DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH THEM EVER. They promise the world and then string you along wasting your time and money. They tell you that it will take approximately 4 months to start seeing results and then find numerous excuses why it didn’t, stringing you along month to month until you catch on to their lies. They tell you that once they put your company on the listings such as google, they do not remove you even if you decide to cancel. This is a total lie. One month after I canceled, I come to find out my company doesn’t even exist on google any more. They manipulate the system and are clearly a scheme. These people will not last in business very long.”
https://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/stellar-emarketing/nashville-tennessee-37211/stellar-emarketing-stellar-emarketingstellar-emarketing-inc-took-me-for-a-ride-nashvill-1303945
While I caution everyone that anyone can post anything to Ripoff Report so this may or may not be true, I’ve taken the time to translate this paragraph, for satirical purposes:
“All I can tell you is DO NOT JOIN THIS CHURCH EVER. They promise Eternity and then string you along wasting your time and money. They tell you that it will take approximately 4 months to start seeing Clear results and then find numerous excuses why it didn’t, stringing you along month to month until you catch on to their lies. They tell you that once you go OT, they do not declare you even if you decide to quit the COS. This is a total lie. One month after I quit, I come to find out I was declared and they didn’t even tell me. They manipulate the system and are clearly a scheme. Unfortunately, this Church will last in business very long.”
Visitor says
And Epstein looks like a goofy Steve Jobs wannabe in his earlier days, coming across about as sincere as a telemarketer hawking steak knives.
Alcoboy says
And, Katy, I agree with this because, like I said in another comment, I worked alongside Dan York when we were on staff at CCNashville. He was pretty much a J&Der and I don’t think his post stats were very high. So it seems to me that Ripoff Report has hit the nail firmly on the head in this regard.
mwesten says
“I worked alongside Dan York when we were on staff at CCNashville. He was pretty much a J&Der and I don’t think his post stats were very high.”
You’re basing this on your experience as a fellow
victimstaff member of an extremist religious cult…? That’s such an odd moral high ground to judge others from.A “J&Dr” in the real world is arguably someone with a sense of humour. Outside of the insane, stat-obsessed world of scientology, who gives a shit whether his post stats were “very high” or not.
Dan may or may not be the biggest douche in town. But you’re not in the cult anymore (and I assume you don’t wish to return) so why judge someone by the same elitist, extremist and hypocritical standards?
Alcoboy says
By jove, just making an observation, dear chap!
Newcomer says
And the CON goes ON ……………..
Yo Dave,
Are Steve and Dan paid up members of WISE and are they contributing back to You who gives them all of the GAG materials needed to choke on? Get on it asswipe, You know they owe for for something that has not been accounted for.
Alcoboy says
I’m willing to wager that Dan York is probably a WISE member because the guy in charge of WISE for Nashville, Lee Parrish, would insist on it.
Aquamarine says
🙂 Time for Disco:Dave:
And the CON goes ON
Just like my fraud everlasting –
brett says
Make more money…you mean $ 2.00 per hour?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/scientology-workers-quebec-minimum-wage-1.4702494
Old Surfer Dude says
Whoa! Someone gets $2.00 an hour??? Seriously? I’m so there!
Old Surfer Dude says
I just clicked on to your link, Brett. I encourage everyone to click on. It’s an eye opener.
Brett says
What is really interesting about this is that it may be a precursor to an investigation by the Provincial Labour Minister. This would encompass both Quebec City and Montreal locations. iF this happens you can probably expect some sort of repayment demand to recompense those employees. who have been paid less than the minimum Quebec hourly wage. That will be big dollars. It will hit Scientology where it hurts.Non certain how far it will go back. IF this happens the Government will attach real property if necessary to secure the claim. The other issue will be if any charges under the Labour Code will be made.
I could be mistaken but I seem to recall reading an article that the Province of Quebec’s health ministry disassociated itself from the local Narconon operation.
Mick Roberts says
“…how to apply the tech successfully in order to get up The Bridge, donate, and live a fantastic lifestyle.”
Pretty sure that “donate” is the keyword in that statement.
As for Dan York, to some people, he is apparently, and I quote: “One of the most real speakers they have ever seen.”
???
Wynski says
Money isn’t the lowest form of motivation, Hubtard is. 😉
Old Surfer Dude says
True dat…
Dave F. says
Hi, Mike !
This might be a great theme song . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sndo_wdc384
Dave F.
xenu's son says
Poor dogs keep running in circles chasing their tales
Briget says
Oh, well put!
Old Surfer Dude says
I chased my tail once. But, it fell off.
I Yawnalot says
While the money’s good, round and round they go. Scientology has a weird computation, they have the only solution as to why they are social victims. Money just greases the insanity.
Old Surfer Dude says
Doesn’t that make the insanity slippery?
Valerie says
Yep, which is why more and more people are falling off (blowing).
Visitor says
I think they’ve chewed them all off and are now sniffing their own butts.
Old Surfer Dude says
I chased some tail once. But, she didn’t like me.
SILVIA says
OMG this is sacrilege! How do they dare? Employing two strangers to promote the know-how about increased production?
The sacred scriptures of LRH on Management are supposed to be the only technology that works and that includes Volume 3 – Treasury and all its aspects of income, how to expand Orgs. and what not?
Yet. Miscabage shouts he is pure KSW…, but only when it’s convenient to his pocket.
ctempster says
Right on Silvia! And LRH says money motivation is at the bottom of the scale (bad) and yet that is all the church does is fleece the members of their money and then beg for more and more and more. So they are doing exactly as LRH said not to do. But then he did the opposite too when he had suitcases of money etc.
Visitor says
I believe Scientology was the inspiration for Hotel California.
Aquamarine says
You’e joking but I think it might very well be. Very possible one or two of the Eagles dabbled in Scn for a while.
Moop says
“One of the most real speakers they have ever seen?” Good. I hate all those holographic speakers I’m always seeing.
Old Surfer Dude says
You see ’em too??? And here I thought I was the only one.
Eh=Eh says
One of the polices for SCN making money is to not pay stafff what they are due.
In Canada that is creating problems for the church! It’s about time……http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/scientology-workers-quebec-minimum-wage-1.4702494
Valerie says
Soooo Dan York gets people to pay him to tell them that the way to make money is to get people to pay you. Not a bad scam if you can get it.
Moop says
Reminds me of the old Steve Martin routine on how to make a million dollars:
First, get a million dollars.