Just getting around to this — things have been pretty hectic in the last few weeks and this one took a bit more work.
A Special Correspondent attended the March 13th event in LA and reported some entertaining first-hand observations which serve as an introduction to some key points from the International Scientology News March 13 “Birthday Game” edition.
First, the on-the-ground report from the Dolby Theater in LA.
A grey, barely marked, Church of Scientology mini-bus pulled up to the curb and discharged 4 or 5 people into the crowd that makes Hollywood & Highland a nightly spectacle. The lack of a full load confirmed my suspicion that there was no teeming crowd back at the Pacifica Base eager to squeeze into the free transportation to get to the LRH Birthday Celebration at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood.
The decision to have it at the Dolby Theater which seats 3,000, rather than the Shrine which seats 6,000, was a welcome change since now I could choose to watch the DVD presentation at Pasadena, Valley (not Ideal) or Inglewood instead of being forced to drive downtown to the Shrine. I love the freedom of choice that Scientology affords me.
The sign-in tables were eager to pass out tickets to those who had not gone on-line to register for a ticket that might have been mailed to them. I had wondered if that website was clever enough to record a person’s unique TCP/IP number and associate it with their name & address to help track down who is active on the naughty bits of the Internet. They were so thankful to hand out another ticket that they barely looked at the data on my sign-in card. I had the urge to cycle around to a different table and write “Marc Headley” or “Wolfgang Keller” in the name blank of another sign-in card just to see if they would notice. But controlling that urge has kept me “Under The Radar,” so I proceeded to the Theater door with my random paper ticket. It scanned successfully and I was in.
Immediately, a small gift bag was pressed into my hand. How nice. I discovered it had a fancy boxed cupcake which I liberated and devoured on the spot as I had not eaten dinner. Only later did I discover that was my ration of “LRH Birthday cake” for the night. In spite of it only occupying a tenth of the box’s volume, it was high quality, perhaps provided Wolfgang Puck’s catering service which has a monopoly at the venue.
A prominent sign on a tripod surrounded by a crowd of gift bags at-the-ready warned the audience that no photos or videos were allowed. I thought that only applied to those who would leak them on the Internet, but I did not see anyone take out a camera during the event.
In the gift bag, aside from the cupcake, there was a little program with the schedule, verifying that 20 minutes before the video presentation was to begin at 7 pm, “Open Seating” would start. Meaning that everyone was to ignore the assigned seat on their ticket, and sit wherever they wanted. You can go down front and sit with the celebrity. (Ann Archer was the only one I recognized.) Or you can go up to the highest balcony and sit in the last row so you count the empty seats. (about a quarter to a third) The closer to the front, the more exercise you get from standing up and clapping.
The DVD Video came on reasonably (or unreasonably) soon after 7 pm.
With machine gun precision, we were whisked through a virtual plethora of outstandingly true facts to support the theme that LRH was everywhere. A total of 5,127 awards including 100 in the last year from such places as Iran and Ukraine. 160 million people reached by CofS ads on TV. (Unclear if those in the bathroom at the moment of the commercial counted.)
Even the venerable Smithsonian Magazine included LRH in their top 100 most significant Americans. That seemed very impressive until I discovered later via the Internet that this data was published on Nov 17, 2014 and that the choices were made applying an algorithmic method to the 840,000 pages of Wikipedia, etc. The list also included mobsters like John Dillinger, Lucky Luciano and Al Capone, as well as fellow cult leader and murderer Charles Manson and the racehorse Secretariat. The list was really more of a top 10 in each of 10 categories. LRH scored his place in the “Religious Figures” division along with such immediately recognizable names as Roger Williams, Anne Hutchinson, Jonathan Edwards, Ellen G. White and Cotton Mather. (Huh?)
You can do your own research at: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smithsonianmag/meet-100-most-significant-americans-all-time-180953341/#0P5wfKpFWSwrwvB4.99
Back to the video spew of acceptable truths. There was a series of re-enacted short LRH stories which were so short and disjointed that they cluttered my mind with phrases like Marines, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, White Horse Tavern in Greenwich Village, Walnut Lodge, St. Joseph’s Asylum, and Matrimonial Service while giving me the impression that LRH was “in fights”, “in nut houses” and “in-solvable”. The extreme irony took me by surprise when I discovered (again on Wikipedia) that the White Horse Tavern in Greenwich Village is associated with the beginnings of the Village Voice newspaper whose one-time editor-in-chief, Tony Ortega, runs a blog concerning the CofS.
I think there were some stats shown, but there was no mention of recent Ideal org openings and no news of Narconon successes. I think he said we were going to “Synchronize with Eternity”, but my Bullshit Detector was buzzing so loudly in my ear bud that I could not be sure I heard him correctly.
Finally, what we were all on the edge of seats for, the announcement of the Birthday Game winners. Ms. Erin Banks from the International PR office (who was much easier on the eyes and ears than the usual French guy) took the podium.
At the end when the lights came up, about 80% of the audience had already left so only 20% heard that we were going complete the funding of the Scientology Media Productions project that night. Really?
Food was served outside while Body Routers did their best to get bodies and Regges face-to-face. Strange, but at that point, no one seemed to care who won last year’s Birthday Game.
Synthesizng this report and the ISN I came up with the following.
TOP STORIES:
Executive Director International Is Officially No More:
Guillaume Lesevre has been sent to the glue factory, joining Heber Jentzsch, Ray Mithoff and numerous others who will never be seen in public again. David “Let Him Die” Miscavige had maintained a pretense that Guillaume was “on post” as ED Int by trotting him out to present the phony birthday game awards each year. He was escorted to Flag (usually by Kevin Caetano, his designated security guard) and appeared on stage for 20 minutes or so to hand out trophies to the “winners” (a TOTALLY stage managed affair — more on that later) and was then escorted back to the “Int Base” to do some more MEST work and gorge ona steady diet of rice and beans. This way it saves having to let him go outside for a couple of weeks and eat normal food before the event so he didnt look like a concentration camp victim (as I did on BBC Panorama). But even that pretense is now dead and buried. The latest Miscavige pet and flavor of the month, Erin Banks, presented the “awards.” It’s a strange choice — she has never had ANYTHING to do with managing orgs. She is simply scientology’s Vanna White. Eye candy. Of course, this is the last holdout of something Miscavige will NOT do on stage. Handing out these awards is beneath D”LHD”M — he only does big IAS donors and “Freedom Medal Winners.” The orgs and mission birthday game is beneath him.
The Shermanator’s LRH Hagiography Is Being Obscured:
The original Shermanspeaker took the stage under the heavy weight of his resplendent but thinning mullet and delivered his usual incomprehensible web of half-truths, lies, adjectives, adverbs and gobbledygook. But unlike previous years, his amazing presentation is NOT contained in the magazine. You can only see it at “your Ideal Org.” Those without ideal orgs just have to suck it up. Probably a smart idea not to broadly print any more lies about L. Ron Hubbard in the current climate. They will just be shot down on the internet and in the media around the world. They are retreating ever further into their bubble. But I must say, the shot of the Mullet King — full page no less — was very nice.
I guess DLHDM reads this blog because a major change in this edition: he only featured in two full page (and a third) shots. The Sherminator and even Candy Banks got a full page shot. Previously there were about 10 full page shots of “COB” and none of anyone else. Just goes to show how influential the unemployed burger flipping apostates on the fringes of the internet can be. Even modifying “mag policy.”
The Birthday Game Is Totally Rigged:
The “World Champion” mission is Belleair — the new “ideal Mission” staffed by Flag public and staff rejects and delivering exclusively to Flag public and rejects. But it is “ideal.” And even though it gets NO new public onto the bridge, which is the PURPOSE of missions, it won only because it is “ideal” (whatever that means).
Every org that won in EVERY Continent is an “ideal org.” Coincidence? To give you some idea, the winner and therefore the most flourishing, prospering and expanding org in the WUS is Portland. We have documented the state of Portland many times at this blog.
The “ideal” AOLA of course won the SO Org game.
And the “ideal” CLO EU won for the Continents.
But here is the rub. The Continental game consists of the CUMULATIVE statistics of ALL ORGS in their continent. Europe, in spite of having an “ideal CLO” has the SMALLEST percentage of “ideal orgs” of any continent in the world. If the “ideal orgs” are all expanding so rapidly, it is impossible for EU to win the cumulative continental game. But it is the only one designated an “ideal” CLO so therefore it is the only one that can win.
Of course, everyone who has ever been around the birthday game awards knows it is totally rigged. But this year even a blind man could see it.
LA Org Is A Fail:
Though an enormous amount of time and effort was devoted to demonstrating how wonderful LA Org is and how astonishing their expansion has been — and they had their OWN presentation of “Model Ideal St Hill Size Org” that DLHDM presented hisself — they sort of slipped up. One of the stats they touted as a huge win, and remember they injected TWO HUNDRED SEA ORG members into this org and turned into a “Sea Org Class V Org” as a model that cannot be duplicated anywhere: Since September 2014 they have had 5131 “through the public information center.” That is NOT “started on a service”, this is the total number they have managed to body route into the “display area.” This 7 months. 28 weeks. A grand total of 183 per week or 26 a day. They may get ONE start on a course from this (of course they don’t give that figure). Every single tourist wandering by on Hollywood Blvd they persuade to come inside for a free video or personality test counts on this stat (and virtually 100% of those people are NOT their public — they will be back home in Japan or North Dakota in a day or a week).
It is clear that the ONLY increase in stats they have created is by having more auditors and calling in old public. They are getting nowhere on reaching NEW public. Their decline is inevitable — it has already begun.
Not A Single NEW “Ideal Org”:
This is the biggest, most important program in scientology. Not even a third of the orgs are done after 12 years. March 13 is the “org event” and traditionally is the time for big “org” announcements. And not one ribbon yanking ceremony for DLHDM to show. Unprecedented, straight down and vertical NONexpansion. A milestone.
The Stats Become More Meaningless With Each Event:
Here is a “graphic” from the ISN:
A Purif Completion every 20 minutes. Remember, every scientologist on earth, even OT VIIIs are being made to re-do the Purif. Even if you counted this as 3 per hour, 24 hours a day (and they don’t, they count it as 3 per hour for the 14 hours a day an org is open) — this is only 500 per week. Divided by 150+ orgs and it averages 3 per week. Not even making a dent in “planetary clearing.” There are more triplets born in the world each week than this. (There are 13,000 triplets born in the US each year).
1,345,018 co-audit hours is an average of 172 per org per week. At 25 hours per co-audit this is 7 per org per week. And again, ALL scientologists are supposed to be redoing their Objectives. This is assuming the figure is for a year, and not “since GAT II” — which is probably more likely as it doesn’t specifically say. In which case, it is an average of 5 people per org per week.
64X scientologists moving up the bridge. Just ridiculous nonsense that has NO basis in anything. Maybe they are counting BTs awakened or something.
New people stepping onto the bridge every 20 seconds. No idea what this means, likely includes everyone who comes into an org and anyone who goes on an internet site. Could be ANYTHING. But if you do the math, it is only a bit more than 100 of them per week per org, whatever they are.
Releases and Clears every 4 minutes. This is an average of 10 per week per org. And a release counts for ANY auditing service completion from Life Repair to Clear. IF they actually had any volume of Clears made, this would have been featured. They don’t. Planetary Clearing is going backwards faster than Wile E Coyote falling off a cliff with an anvil tied to his neck.
And average 10 point IQ increase for Student Hat completions. This is just funny.
1 Academy Completion every single hour. This is a lot less than ONE PER ORG PER WEEK. Including all the “ideal” orgs with “academies that seat 200 students in perfect chairs with ideal demo kits available and brand new clay still in it’s package.”
More Gibberish Per Minute Than At Any Time In Recorded History:
Here is some classic Shermanspeak. Utterly incomprehensible. Another milestone.
But the last word in wackiness is this:
Anyone who can decipher what this means wins a weekend seminar with Michael Chan aboard the Freewinds.
Because if you CAN make sense out of this, you would probably get a kick out of Michael Chan.
Off topic, but as regards my promise to nevermore use nicknames for David Miscavige, I’d like to originate that I’m really going to miss “Apple Box Boy”. Thank you.
Oops, Mike, this was meant for today’s 4/27 article. Oh, well.
I agree, best post ever, you, Sir, are straight up and vertical! 64XXX!!!
And on a side note: the “renovation” of the $cientology shop, I mean church, in Launceston, Tasmania has been completed. It’s no longer a dark brown painted dingy shop, it’s now a slightly less dark industrial grey painted shop. The only other change is that it appears one of the desks has been removed.
I am so embarrassed to have been a Scientologist for 11 years of my life. How could I have been so intelligent, yet so stupid.
These events. How do people rationalize that it is as LRH intended??
I’m a never in. I think you’re too hard on yourself. I think Paul Haggis said: “No one joins a cult”. IMO, what he meant was that it doesn’t have anything to do with intelligence or the lack of it. It is about love bombing at the beginning, and your wanting to belong to a group, a group that promises you you can help saving the world and mankind. And after you’re in a longer time, the group cuts you off from critics, and gets much more demanding. Scientology is just a group that is rather good at doing this. However, the internet is their kryptonite.
Hi TrevAnon,Thank you for your insightful & sensitive post.I think all of us either SO,Staff & public join in the beginning to help mankind & want to be better themselves. Of course SO love
bombing was a high art & many factors play into it.We all were sucked into Ron’s & by default dm’s dream/ nightmare.The real game is getting out with a body & mind not totally broken,& my spirit free to roam without “chains”Take Care Ann B Watson
Out of the park with this one, Mike and Special Correspondent. Very interesting data. SC, thank you for doing whatever it takes to stay UTR to bring us these observations.
Now, preparing for serious Shermanspeak, I steeled myself and actually managed to get nearly all the way down without too much trouble – until I hit the “150% employment” comment. OMG, my head began to swim and I got an anxious feeling. Then I read, “Anyone who can decipher what this means wins a weekend seminar with Michael Chan aboard the Freewinds”. LOL! You can’t make sense out of nonsense, after all. Still laughing, Mike!
Congratulations to the Special Correspondent and Mike Rinder for their great teamwork and a superb post.
Special Correspondent; please stay UTR and bring us all the event/briefing news you can. I know it’s tough to sit through all that blather and drivel but you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed your work.
I’m thinking that the manifest reality at 150% the comparable employment to the workaday world might have actually something to do with unemployment or being underemployed. That’s not what they’re trying to say but that would be a known reality about LA Org.
Now if I can figure out what I just said, I’ll give myself an ice cream cone.
To correct the stat keepers at Int – when you are counting someone getting on to “the bridge” every twenty seconds? You cannot, I repeat CANNOT count people who are getting on the Golden Gate Bridge or the Brooklyn Bridge or any such. Do you understand that? Ok, MAYBE the Verrazano, but that’s ALL, capisce?
FYI, I am so ready for my trip to the Freewinds. If I close my eyes, I can practically smell the salt air and blue asbestos!
I *think* what they are attempting to claim is that if one wants to work for Scientology until one’s ravaged body drops to the org floor, one has a 150% chance/is 1.5 times more likely to be able to do so than one would at, say, any given wog company which offers perks such as salaries, vacation time, health insurance, and retirement benefits. This may be an extremely rare case of a Scientology “statistic” having been deflated as opposed to the standard “530 DODECABAZILLIONGAGILLION BTs rendered free with LRH technology!”
My initial reaction was amusement as it tends to be whenever Scientology makes bizarre assertions about its wonderful effects on the quality of life of its members, the world, and this sector of the galaxee. Further consideration of this particular “stat”, assuming I am translating this piece of ’cause over sanity’ cult-speak correctly, led me to the shocking conclusion that they were not being astoundingly dishonest.
I can’t think of any other employer that is as aggressive, persistent, and indiscriminate with opportunities to “JOIN STAFF!” Even raw wog meat could come sliding into the nearest org, sign up for their very first course, and be given a post on staff in short order. Scientology is so welcoming of employees that many join and stay on staff whether or not they can afford it or want to be there. More ambitious mind-control subjects will be similarly greeted with open arms as members of the Sea Organization.
This 150% lifetime employment claim can be examined in different ways. For regular staff, one who joins staff will remain on staff for as long as they wish or until they become able to resist the intense pressure they are under to remain on staff. Public Scientologists working on staff are paid little to nothing, thus must hold a real job for actual income unless they are independently wealthy. In either case, staff members almost certainly end up contributing exponentially more to the org financially than whatever meager compensation they may receive. Given this arrangement, Scientology is not at all opposed to keeping people on staff for the remainder of their lifetimes.
Next, let us consider lifetime employment with respect to the Sea Org. Undoubtedly, there is no other employer anywhere on Teegeeack or beyond which offers employment for not just a single, insignificant lifetime, but FOR A BILLION YEARS. That, my friends, is job security. Indeed, there are some who opt for early retirement, but this does not negate the fact that they were given the OPPORTUNITY for lifetime employment and lifetime employment again… and again… for a billion years. Since Scientology was founded and the Sea Organization was established, it is entirely possible that some of the early Sea Org members dropped bodies and have returned to post, and have presently been employed by Scientology for 1.5 lifetimes thus far.
When an organization’s working conditions are identical to or closely resemble slavery and its employees are subjected to the skillful deployment of proven mind control techniques, it is easy to offer OPPORTUNITIES for lifetime employment.
150% riddle:
Scientology staff work 150% harder than any employees, 150% longer and for 150% less, i.e. they subsidise their org with their pay.
All good things in life are three.
So, which one best describes the new Idle Morgue?
Basil: A common British man’s name
Basel: A city in Switzerland
Basal: “forming or belonging to a bottom layer”
Basil Fawlty: An ill-tempered fictional character much beloved by fans all over the world
Basel Faulty: A perfect description of an “ideal org”, a concept much hated by people all over the world, as well the adjective best describing the products they sell.
150% of the work a day world, I think this is taking into account the relative working environment of the entire planet. Slave labor camps, China sweatshops, prison laborcamps, the general conditions of being employed in poorer countries planetwide?
You are brilliant.
The only thing that could possibly explain the 150% employment graphic is:
“While the workforce of the normal world works 40 hours per week, as a career staff member, you’ll be working 60 hours a week. For starters.”
Hi Valerie, Thank you for your beautifully worded post there was no reply button, so I have mine here under Hype O Rama,where I found yours.Yvonne was incredible & I feel so blessed to have known her through her letters to me as letter reg @ Asno F for some years & when she came to Asno for briefings asking to meet me,a sweetheart indeed! I could never presume to know all her friends either. I do not have the auditor training that u & wind horse have, I was just starting all that & Power when the GOI decided to have me as a living soccer ball & I was pulled off auditor training & auditing.You make such a strong yet true point that one can be superior without realizing it, I have been guilty of that myself.We got such practice in the SO with that. You made my soul shine,I found this blog by chance & wrote Mike for awhile to get my nerve up to jump to the blog,& he gave me the push & here I am. I just want to help those wanting to get out, those who will never leave,tell my SO story & have contact with wonderful free beings like yourself. Thank you so much.a forever friend & Mike u are still incredible.Take Care Ann B Watson.
Thanks you so much to the person who had to stomach the birthday “event” in order to bring this report.
I wonder if Dieter Lietershvantz could get in next year? Why would he bother?
Excellent and very well written report by special correspondent. The COS is a withering tree that bears no fruit.I loved the DLHDM thing. Last time I saw Lesevre was probably in 2005 or 2006, He’ll come dead out of the meat grinder. What a sad end for an intelligent man. I wonder how DLHDM will end up. Such a negative Karma, no compassion of any kind, just like an SS Capo in a concentration camp. Thanks Mike for the news of the sinking Titanic.
One person stepping on the bridge every 20 seconds means each year there are 1.5 million new scientologists. If they each did one course a year that would be one course comp…every 20 seconds. If they each did one hour of auditing that would be more WDAHs then in the history of Scn.
If each of these new scios paid $1000 each lady ear that would be 1.5 billion gross income in one year.
The last stat isn’t supposed to make sense. Much like lens power of a the tan calculation it is supposed to make you feel stupid for not understanding and thus not ask any questions about any stats or formulae you gave previously been exposed to in Scientology.
Is something not adding up here mr David ? Math not your strong point? Your math is on par with your height.
Wow! This just blew me away! I love someone that can do this kind of math! F*^&%$g sexy!
I think the “L.A. Org has demonstrated that a lifetime career..” thing means that of comparable careers (whatever they might be) that people (who is included is anyone’s guess, I assume LA Org Staff?) stay with said career 150% at LA Org, compared to 100% in comparable fields (whatever they might be). So if you take 100 lifetime career professionals and 100 L.A. Org “lifetime career” staff members, after some time period (a lifetime??), if ten of the comparable field professionals are left working then fifteen would be still hard at work at their chosen lifetime profession at the L.A. Org, as staff members.
It’s really quite simple. The graph makes it clear.
I didn’t do the survey but I read on one blog the average life of a Sea Org Member is TWO years. The statistics of military personal are a lot longer.
Really good Analysis and insights Mike Rinder
Yes, Mike. I’m amazed not only that you CAN decipher this stuff but that you take the time to spell it out for a stat-reading-challenged person such as myself.
Your special correcspondent’s synopsis of the birthday event turned this usually painfully boring four hours into a delightful read.
It’s so much easier and so much more fun to be an OUTie than an INie.
Any of us who have personal knowledge of DM should check him against all of the characteristics of a suppressive person as outlined in the tech. I did just that and it blew a ton of charge. The boy fits perfectly and it is astounding none of the still ins see it. Or maybe they have and they have been “disappeared”……What you think Mr. Rinder?
I don’t get it? Are there not some 2000 SO members and staff in and around LA that would have been part of the 3000 seating? I suspect that the 80% leaving early were staff? Leaving very few public. Pitiful. The real pity is that the attending staff just don’t get it. Thanks for the on the ground reporting.
Mike, you have found your calling
None of the claims of expansion are real.
I didn’t have a headache until I got to the Shermanspeak section, now I need a pain killer.
I finally figured out the 150% riddle. They start you before you are legally allowed to work, work you twice as long as you would anywhere else then kick you to the curb when they’ve taken 150% of all you can give. That graphic is a curb not a tombstone, or maybe it’s both.
The Church of Scientology was asynchronous with eternity due to lost Tech, less than fully Ideal Orgs, and a lack of “snap and pop” Sea Org members properly interrogated for both real and imagined PT and wholetrack crimes using GATII-Warehouse8–Post-Anonymous sec checking.
Numerous tens of thousands of criminals, so-called “former Church members” had also been sent in by SMERSH in an attempt to destroy Scientology organizations.
Whereupon, COB took resolute action and had his own father followed by armed PI’s for 18 months at a cost of $10,000 per week to confront and handle this additional asynchronicity with eternity.
All asynchronicities with eternity having been handled, over five people per day now visit the AOLA Visitors Center. Likewise, 64X Scientologists are going up the Bridge. Sea Org employment is 150% as opposed to comparable employment in the workaday world.
Thus, COB’s call to look not at the off-ramps but rather straight ahead into the vast and gaping chasm of eternity into which the Church of Scientology is plunging with heretofore unimagined rapidity and progress.
All of which is to say that, yes, the apparency of a sudden and shattering implosion in the near future will factually indicate that we have at last fully synchronized with eternity.
Yes! Yes! What he said!!!!!!!!! (whatever that was). Politicians all over the world are scratching their heads in befuddlement.
I ran the above comment through My Shermanspeak to English translation module and the result was:
ROTFL
+1. That was super freaking funny!
Grrr8!,
Why is it that Dave’s father, Ron Sr., was always easy and pleasant to speak to at Int, but Dave has nerver even risen to the level of slimeball?
3feet: i thing your question reveals the answer – a human is a human and slime is just that.
150% of comparable employment in the workaday world?
If ihis refers to productivity, it is pathetic as the average SO slave works 300% of the hours that an average free American worker puts in. Surely, they do better than 50% of WOG productivity while 4’13” watches like a hawk!
Or might this be referring to the second and third jobs that the public has in order to pay off the credit cards that the regges fraudulently obtained on their behalf, the second and third mortgages it took to “increase their status today” (while of course “the bridge” is still a distant glimmer for these unfortunates).
Or does this talk about the time that the public’s children have to put in to work their way through college as their parents blew their college fund a long time ago to re-do their basics, repair their auditing, re-buy materials and finance their sec checks?
The mind boggles…
Off topic, but I found this article at myfoxdc.com about citizens in Thurmond fighting Scientology’s attempt to establish a Narconon. Let’s hope the citizens prevail.
THURMONT, Md. –
Neighbors in a Maryland community are saying “not in my backyard” to a proposed drug treatment facility. The Church of Scientology wants to use a historic lodge in Thurmont as a place to cure people with addictions.
Not far from Camp David in Maryland, you will find Trout Run.
“It has a lot of history,” said Chuck Farmer
He used to work at the 40-acre site long after presidents like Herbert Hoover and Dwight D. Eisenhower used to fish here.
But Trout Run’s future now has Farmer concerned. The Church of Scientology bought the property and has plans to open drug treatment facility called Narconon.
Scientology is no stranger to critics, but they are facing a different fight here over wanting to renovate a property they already own in Maryland’s Catoctin Mountains.
“It’s the wrong place to have a facility like that,” said Stan Mordensky.
Facing opposition to the drug treatment facility and any changes to the property, Frederick County’s council on Tuesday postponed a vote to give Scientology a historic designation for the site.
But for their part, the Church of Scientology will tell you whether or not you agree or disagree with their religion, they say they only have two goals here — to treat people with drug problems and preserve the historic nature of this place.
“Narconon is a secular program that uses the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to help people get off drugs,” said Sylvia Stanard, deputy director for the Church of Scientology National Affairs Office.
Scientology’s D.C. office is a restored mansion where the walls are lined with shots of buildings the church has restored around the world. Stanard says like them or not, Scientology is experienced in restoring old buildings.
“We really like to bring that beauty out, so we want to keep those buildings and renovate them, bring them back to their original beauty,” she said.
Thank you, Mike, and Super Special Correspondent. What a great post. Most assuredly 64X your last best post !
I like a challenge…so re the “150% comparable employment” that a lifetime staff member has….
Well, 100% lifetime employment that a person in the “work-a-day” world has is from age 21-65. Assuming from college grad to typical retirement. Which is 34 years. SO….50% more means 17 more years of employment. Therefore, from age 12.5 to 73.5 (which adds 8.5 years on each end) is what they are bragging about.
Which means being on staff in Scientology from puberty to death (or being in assisted living or minimally, elderly) is something to brag about!
Michael Chan here I come !!!!!!
I was tempted by the “150% of comparable employment” riddle. It’s like the Seventh Seal of Revelations. Could mean anything.
I decided that it is a meaningless dribble of abused English. Comparison takes at least two things, but two things are not specified and it is not even clear what the first may be. Like Scientology graphs stripped of numbers, the statement amounts to a pseudo-quantification painted on a whiff of hot air.
Or … maybe it means Scientology works 150% of the time compared to other religions!
Oh my… the bs isn’t even sticky from them anymore.
Their delusion flows like a hose at full blast. It’s humanly embarrassing to consider even for second I was ever involved with that… I don’t know what to call them anymore, I can’t bring myself to insult the concept of kindergarten.
I’m retiring from regularly commenting on the RCS as I just don’t see the point anymore, Scientology, for whatever that’s worth doesn’t exist anyway, hasn’t been around for 30 years in the public arena and even viewing it from back then these new era critics and their well greased bandwagon of endless searching for one-upmanship make wrong of everything Hubbard dominates the net anyway.
dLHDm (what a great acronym) has done a fine job of stealing other people’s money and keeping himself above legal reproach thus far. His group is but a desperate few now and they will eventually drown in their own crap, the sooner the better. The purif & objectives is now their new top the bridge – vomit!
cya
Yawn a lot. Enjoyed your comments so thanks. If not a regular, be an occasional?
Maybe off topic but I saw a picture of the Basel org where cob is rehearsing his speech on Tony’s site.
I found it Hilarious that David Miscavige the little midget was standing on a slanted/pitched stage. Probably about 2-3 feet in pitch from the top to the bottom. Then the area for the monitors and teleprompters were on a level section at the front. Can you imagine the fun/grief the SO workers had building a podium for such a setup to make it look level while on a slope. I still think even with that setup in the picture I bet he is standing on some sort of apple crate.
Hilarious David Miscavige
here is a link just remove the symbols from the front and back
1. I wonder how many people showed up just like that UTR Special Correspondent simply to be able to report on the state of affairs.
2. The 64 is correct the X was a typo. It should have read 64 scientologists moving up the bridge.
3. Wait, wait, what are we supposed to believe? 160 people per day routed int LA Org or now this new 183 per week? I choose to believe that even the second stat, as is the norm with Scientology statistics, Is Inflated.
4. Why mention disconnection if there never was any? I’m sure glad to hear that, as I’m sure the readers (and proprietor of this blog) who have been “enduringly linked” from their family members. Danny Sherman will definitely be one of the last men standing as he would be unemployable as anything but a gibberish speechwriter for a pompous dictator and there isn’t much call for that position. His grasp of the English language sentence structure appears to have totally disappeared.
5. Kudos to the 80% of the audience that escaped before the end of the presentation. If I read the write up correctly, page hall seats 3000 and was only 2/3 full so there were only 2000 people there. That would mean only about 400 people remained to be body regged. They’re getting smarter.
6. Lately I’ve been wondering about Heber, Guilliame, et al. I remember Annie Broeker Tidman’s death wasn’t announced and it was Karen D who discovered she had died months after the fact. It wouldn’t surprise me if the same happens with some of the other old guard.
Scientology’s stats all go to 11…and make as much sense.
My favorite line was from the message from COB: “Not to imply there was ever disconnection.” That could be the new COS motto.
How the bloody fuck did these violently insane criminals manage to find 2,000 gullible rube customers to show up for this thing? That’s got to be 90% of all Scientology customers in the American Southwest.
This post gave me the feeling of looking out at a cold, slushy, and grey late afternoon in Winter. Brrrr!
Right now, I’m sitting in an airport, four hours until boarding, and I’m being bombarded with a Muzak version of “I Dreamed A Dream” while the initial stages of the nicotine fit are beginning. And I’d still rather be here than attending an “international event”.
PS: In case you still can’t judge the scale, Oklahoma City Airport.
That last stat is so very Miscavigey. So, Imma swing wide and guess that you’ll work 150% more than wogs if you’re a Scientologist. What it doesn’t say is that you get .05% the pay.
Bruce Jenner has more integrity than David Miscavige. The world accepts and praises him for his honesty. He is not a bully. We are in a time now where people can accept Bruce Jenner but not a Scientologist. That is David Miscavige’s P.R. legacy. The only way for the Church to survive at this point is if someone tapes his f*%#*&g mouth shut and locks him in a closet. In fact, he could vanish altogether and who I ask you, who would bother to file a missing person’s report?
O.K., perhaps he would missed on Hollywood Boulevard.I’ve heard he orders his staff to go there to perform public services.
Now I’m the one who says “blow me down and run me over! ” (no pun intended) Since the staff do go to Hollywood Blvd to perform public services, maybe we shouldn’t revoke the church’s tax exempt status after all.
Personally, I don’t care about their taxes or money. It is against my personal ethics code to run a can’t have on other’s finances. I think the funniest thing in the world would be for the U.S. Gov to give them a grant of 30 billion dollars and see what they have to do with themselves when they are forced to do something besides beg.
I suspect, right now they couldn’t fill up an HGC in any org if they were offering auditing for free.
An IQ test (the most common being the WAIS) takes 90 minutes to complete. Do scientologists actually take the time to do it before and after a service?
Also practice helps. If you take it twice, your score will be higher the second time, student hat or not. See for example http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22353021
They are scn based IQ tests – i believe they have an A test and a B test which have never changed. At first I thought the results I achieved on my second test were a miraculous jump till I thought about it later and realised that yes practise does indeed improve your score. I don’t recall the tests being 90 mins long though. I did a real IQ test for a job and found it much harder than these ones.
That one took the same test over and over again, to the point of not even having to finish reading the questions before you remembered the previously worked-out answers, was always a huge illogic-turd in the “proof-of-results” punchbowl.
Here´s an interesting and informative article about the OCA/APA test(one of many articles available on the internet): http://www.solitarytrees.net/cowen/misc/am2oca.htm
I recall being able, back in the 60s, to do the test so as to have a straight across line at the top. It’s not hard at all to choose the “correct” items so as not to ring the “you need auditing” bells. LOL
64 x zero is still zero
I’m upset. You say that Erin Banks is eye candy. But you don’t have a picture.
I for one like eye candy!
Erin is a darling. Her parents are Paula and Irving Paiwonsky. Both people truly caring people and very well loved. Paula was a very close friend of Yvonne Jentz. And Erin, is supposedly the former Yvonne Jentz.
“Erin is supposedly the former Yvonne Jentzch” – hmmm I guess she’s sharing her identity with at least 2 others who claimed their daughter was Yvonne. As for Paula — I knew Yvonne very well having been CCLA staff until 1976 and then stayed in touch until her death in January 1978. I don’t recall that she was a close personal friend of Yvonne’s.
As for the eye-candy part — haven’t any idea. But makes sense that DLHDM would want someone very attractive to hand out awards.
BUT I could definitely be wrong. Lord knows, I’ve been wrong most of the time — I just like to hide it 🙂
WH
Well blow me down and run me over!
Windhorsegallery, I’m not sure if Mike will allow this comment through, but I knew Yvonne well too. I did not, however have a list of the names of all her friends. She was an amazing person and close to a lot of people. I would never be condescending enough to assume that I knew who she chose to associate with.
This is the second time in the last couple of weeks when a comment of yours has taken my breath away due to the superior tone. I know you were highly tech and admin trained because you one time chose to list your accomplishments on Tony’s blog. Mine are at least equal to yours, although I think maybe you’ve had more auditing than me, I can’t remember, nor do I care.
I used to believe that made me special somehow and offended lots of people by presuming to tell them how they should live their lives or handle situations, etc.
Over the years I came to understand that I was not better than others and learned to stop telling someone how to think or when they had a right to grieve the loss of an old friend or other such things.
It has made my life a much better life because now I have true friends and I can take advice from them as well.
Please understand, I don’t think you are a bad person, but we were taught the superior attitude for so long that it is a hard thing to shake. Please take a moment to consider how a comment will seem to the receiver before making it.
Not for nothing,but isn’t this how Hubbard handled it?
“Ours is the religion founded on the power of spiritual beings” Really? And what the hell does this mean? I have not decipher it yet, worse than a puzzle.
Even when I was in and watching such events, I thought that Petty Little Bitch (that’s you Let Him Die) was talking about some other planet. Now that I am out, it is all just so much utter nonsense. It’s like they asked someone high on LSD to write the speech.
“150% of comparable employment in the workaday world”
Lolwut ?
What does that even mean ? 150% employment rate ? In that case they could put a million % there ’cause there sure isn’t anyone looking for such a crappy underpaid job who doesn’t already have one.
Being unemployed is a considerable step up from working in an org, both for your own financial, physical and mental health as well as your usefulness for society. At least when you’re unemployed, you don’t actively participate in defrauding people.
My only guess is that it is a 150% more “manifest.” Harder still is to imagine what they are using as “comparable” employment. The only thing I come up with are the slaves rowing those ships in Ben Hur.
You are all very brave and courageous for being so vigilant as to spread the truth of this cult!
LOL! Great report.
p.s. next time they should carry something like this: http://www.closeoutzone.com/product/mini+pen+digital+camera+recorder.do?from=Search&cx=0
Mike – Very well done on Suppressing David Miscavige. Your helicopter tech changed the way DM rolls. All of the dedicated SP’s that work around the clock are successful at SSW – Stopping Scientology Working!
I see Scientology suppressing Scientology and Scientologist’s suppressing Scientologist’s. I am grateful to live to see the demise and destruction of this evil cult. We should feel proud to have done something about it too! I know I am pleased that I contributed to the motion. It is really nothing to compared to some of you Es Pee’s. You are the best!
Fear is now running the Church of Scientology and David Miscavige is full of it. He looks red and bloated.
If he can’t open Ideal Org’s and Slap – he will go insane faster.
Heh Captain David “Blackheart” Miscaivge – we know you are shuddering
tick tock…tick tock….
What can I say, except HA, HA, HA. To bad all those folks with the increased IQ can’t or don’t understand all the Sherman speak, but in their defense how could anyone, , but that is the idea. No understanding, equals no confront.
on the last graph. Are they now making staff work a 12 hour day instead of 8?? Or is it that’ll as a staff you’ll never save enough to retire thus you’ll work a whole 1/2 a lifetime longer?
MEP,
12 instead of 8? When did staff ever work only 8? Hell there is a planet to clear here man! Maybe 16 instead of 12 and then you have 5 hours of study, 3 – 10 minute meal periods (it’s only rice and beans) and 2-1/2 hours for sleep and you have a day. Multiply that by 7 with a modification on Sunday to wash your clothes and clean your wallow and you have a week.
Stack 52 of those end to end for your birthday game and EX-it times 60 and there is your life. Then you get offloaded onto the welfare state where you remain until you pass but at least the food and rest is better.
Take a 21 year break and report back to Dave Let Em Die for another round ……….. do that 14 million or so times and you are done with your contract!
What’s not to like about that?
Hey! Don’t knock the Sherman speak! You can read it either backwards and forwards and it still says exactly the same! Genius:
‘Destiny with compromise no is there recognise and if, or. Forever bond a secure so and gaps remaining last the close we where is this, same the all but. Linkage enduring than less anything suggest. To not Disconnection; ever was there imply to not.’
It works the same for Dave’s new acronym. In the voice of Yoda: Dave “die let him” Miscavige.
I think it is Miscarriage Die Him Let Dave. Damn, I certainly hope His Highn Ass is right about that!
It all makes sense once you get the lingo down!
Yo Cee Oh Bee,
Do you have the Sherminator busy on the next speakeasy event for your Maidan Voyeur Event? It should be a real pile driver this year ……….. that means You driving your pile of Daveshit into the Carribbean good buddy. Can’t wait ……………
That makes even more sense! Nice decoding! Now I know what to do if I can’t understand DLHDM.
Hilarious Sam, forward or backward makes the same sense, nonsense.
I think we could all have a little compassion here for poor old Danny Sherman. A youngish, buddy writer excitedly went up to INT a thousand years ago to be the LRH Biographer. After finding out the truth about LRH, he has become relegated to writing speech after speech for a tiny little man with tiny little everything and he has to write stuff to make Tiny Everything look like Big Everything.
I’m pretty sure that if we opened up Danny Sherman’s shirt and held him up to a mirror, it would read, “Help Me.”
Brilliant!
64X is the new 47X? Duly noted.
(Excellent takedown, Mike. Thanks for making the time.)
C’mon Mike! This is an easy one to explain! “…at the 150% the comparable employment in the workaday world” means…..ummmmmm…it means…what I’m trying to say here is…ahhhhhhh…what I mean is….errrrrr…ummmm. I’ve got a splitting headache and have absolutely no idea what the fuck this means! I’m sorry, Mike. I took a shot. Obviously not my finest moment. Guess I’m just not cut out to be a cult member and to revere David “LET HIM DIE” Miscaviage…
I think he was trying to say:
Notwithstanding the heretofore mentioned leaps into stratospheric rises with humongous rewards orbiting the galaxy every 10 seconds whilst gaining traction of upright and vertical plateaus that transcend even higher……………………
If you get my meaning
We get it cause we have done GAG II.
Raindog, you’ve just been appointed as a backup to the Shermanator. You have a born talent for using countless words, disconnected from any meaning whatsoever. LOL I loved it.
Thanks, Raindog! When I read your post my headache went away. Would this be called “Raindog Tech?” If so, it some pretty good tech!
Back in 1993 David Let Him Die had not been in a position to exert much influence on the management of the Scientology religion at all. He had managed to wipe out the entire mission network back in the early 80’s but after that had been tied up in the IRS case. So Scientology was being managed by SP incompetents like Heber, Mike, Ray, Guillaume etc. who were running the show.
Back in 1993 an important event was announced and 9000 scientologists showed up and close to 6000 scientologists would show up for regular events like the LRH Birthday in the LA area. Now that David Let Them Die has been running things all on his lonesome, an estimated 2500 show up for the LRH birthday event. People reading this blog have an understanding that David Let Them ALL Die is a vicious sociopath but what on earth do the remaining 2500 tell themselves? They must be doing some serious, gold medal worthy mental gymnastics to explain this. I try to imagine how they reconcile the “straight up and vertical expansion” and the tiny crowd.
“At the end when the lights came up, about 80% of the audience had already left so only 20% heard that we were going complete the funding of the Scientology Media Productions project that night. Really?”
This says it all. Even the clubbed seals know when to cut and run.
Wanted to escape the regs?
Maybe the “80%” were the regs, routing, and security people, who were filling in the seats. (Or, just hungry SO.)
“The only religion founded on the power of spiritual beings…”
What? Since last Tuesday??
Aye yi yi, Jesus take the wheel…
They throw around so many numbers they make Heinz’ 57 varieties seem real.
thank you. thank you very much
Great post! Thanks for clarifying LHD. Reading the closing message reminded me how mind numbing I would feel during these events. Can’t believe I used to buy into the BS.
Ok,ok…hmmm…150%…give me a sec…err…hmmm…I think it means the average staff member works 150% more hours than the average wog, and earns 150% less, while existing 150% below the national poverty level. Phew!
Damn! I was so looking forward to the Chan-man.
I think it means join the sea org and your daddy parts will be 50% bigger than the average Joe working.. er, stiff. And you can donate the Chan appearance to anyone who actually wants to get their head filled w bs.
This is sickeningly hilarious. It would actually be funny if it weren’t so sad.
Best one is: “An average 10 point IQ increase for Student Hat completions.” If I redo the Student Hat 8 times over, I may yet make it to genius.
When D”LHM”M’s (Mike, I love it) prospects are so bleak he must become more and more inventive with his hallucinatory nonsense. For the sick and insane, the worse it gets, the merrier!
Cant make sense of that last bit, but they look like tombstones.
D”LHD”M. Love it! These are his initials from now on. It sucks to be DLHDM.
Absolutely worth the wait. This post is reflective of why I love this blog – witty, engaging, and above all honest.
What a diatribe of bullshit.
I am so happy to not have to sit through it anymore.
True spiritual freedom is simply achieved by the simple act of leaving the cult. Being able to truely think for youself is the true OT ability, something I hope those who disconnected from me find out someday.
As for DLHDM, Marma will indeed prove to be a bitch.
Should read Karma
I kind of like “Marma” for Miscavige.
Too evil for Karma, he’ll get Marma – Motherfucking Karma.
The special correspondent deserves a reward for such and excellent write up.
Mike, you deserve an award for your analysis of such pomposity and shermanspeak.
Please will you tell me what “LHD” stands for. All I can think of it Loretta Miscavige referring to her son as a “little Hitler.”
LHD = Let Him Die
Isn’t that another bon mot from the same anointed world wide spiritual leader that once said something like “Lisa McPherson died. People die” when he had to explain why there were massive protests blocking our path to the the dining hall at Flag? He is pretty casual about suffering and death as long as it is someone else who suffers. Even his own father.
I don’t have the ability to recall what he told us, his loyal Event Crew, about Lisa word for word. It was something along the lines of that she was in a car accident, had an injury, and died from her injury. And now some evil Scientology haters are trying to hurt him by protesting.
Nothing about the conditions of her baby watch, the actual cause of death, her extraction from the hospital where she was getting actual care to attempts to force feed her with a turkey baster.
He knew all this. He did not care. To him it was a “situation” that could affect his reputation if not brutally suppressed. So he got a bunch of lawyers together and suppressed it as well as he could manage. Scientology bumbles on, when it should have been stopped on the strength of that one incident in the 90s.
Remember this when you see him strutting on the stage and mouthing platitudes he thinks will impress or spouting lying statistics he thinks will bamboozle the poor rubes who still listen. The sum total of the tears he sheds for the suffering and deaths of those who follow him would not wet the bottom of a doll’s thimble.
Nice one Bruce! Another shining light of truth on a carcass of a being.
Mike, your special correspondent’s report is comprehensive and funny yet sad–sad for those still imprisoned in Scientology. Thank you for sharing and caring.
One of your best posts ever.
Dave,
Are you going into permanent seclusion, now that you have yanked a ribbon in Basel?
A real stand out, for sure!
Didn’t the special correspondent potentially give himself away with the line, “This way it saves having to let him go outside for a couple of weeks and eat normal food before the event so he didnt look like a concentration camp victim (as I did on BBC Panorama).” I hope there was more than one person fitting that description on the show.
I wrote that. The Special Correspondent’s commentary are the first section, in italics….
Oh shit, I gave myself away.
My head was spinning reading the last portion of the speech. Overhyped, overwritten, incomplete sentences, disconnected ideas, etc. My high school English teacher would be spinning in her grave over the death and dearth of any sense, intelligence, concepts, or anything else other than sheer boredom.