They held their dead man’s birthday party last weekend.
Unsurprisingly, it was a hype-fest that seems to be perfectly described by the immortal words of Macbeth:
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
They put a bunch of the “thinking big exponential expansion” news onto their website and sent it out as a press release — much of which will be complete mumbo-jumbo to the non-scientology public.
I wanted to address a few of their claims — and point out how utterly absurd it is for them to be convincing themselves they are doing SO well they are taking over the planet.
Let’s start with the first blooper.
In fact, more Scientologists than ever before filled Ruth Eckerd Hall for this annual celebration.
This is pretty funny. The capacity of Ruth Eckerd Hall has not changed. Are they admitting they haven’t even filled the 2180 seats in previous years? That they finally made 2180 attendees this year in a community that they have claimed is 11,000 strong in Tampa Bay alone and they said people came from “all over the world.”
The first of dozens of thunderous standing ovations greets Mr. David Miscavige…
Really — this is something worth including so it makes whoever wrote this drivel seem like they are “with COB”?
And get a load of this mouthful from Captain Dave:
“As is befitting on this night of nights, we will present what LRH most wished for on his birthday: not only a Birthday Game that signifies EXPANSION, but also, the expansionist destiny as fueled by his Technology and all as manifested in Ideal Orgs.”
“But, why understate it? Truth is, you can mark tonight as a watershed milestone from which we will never look back. Moreover, it’s a milestone with exponential ramifications.”
They announced “recognitions” for LRH — we know how these are obtained. Of course NO NAMES or specifics were offered because they fear anyone contacting the people who signed these things will retract them as fast as the Mayor of Deltona did. So, it’s:
Mr. Miscavige shared the many recognitions and honors bestowed on Mr. Hubbard since this crowd last gathered, including:
- …the United States Congress commemorates 100 years since he blazed a trail for generations of Scouts;
- In the Philippines, a high sultan declared LRH as a rarely designated Royal Chief;
- And in Africa, supreme African royals presented a sacred leopard skin bestowed only to royalty by royalty.
And then the truly vague:
- His Study Technology that, for the last half-century, has helped bring literacy to more than 64 million students;
- His drug rehabilitation technology, which has saved countless lives through a network of centers, double that of any other major rehab treatment center worldwide;
- And finally, his technology for kindness and morality in the 21 precepts of The Way to Happiness, his common-sense guide for living now available in 118 major languages.
Of course, study technology doesn’t bring literacy as it does NOT teach you HOW TO READ.
The ever-shrinking Narconon network isn’t even close to rehabilitating “double” any other drug rehab center, or even half for that matter.
And the WTH being “available” in 118 languages is a big so what. Google translate can make anything available in any number of languages. This blog is “available in 118 languages” and that does not signify it is accomplishing anything. But they don’t even make any claims this year — no handing out booklets that had brought peace to Israel or reduction of crime in Haiti — as they have in the past.
The so-called “expansionist destiny” turned out to be a reference to the “Golden Age of Administration, the crowning chapter in the Church’s Golden Age.”
Yes, he explained that the reason the Golden Age of Knowledge and Golden Age of Tech didn’t really work out was because there was “one final component to the full Golden Age equation.”
Remember when the one final component was the “ideal” orgs? That this was what had been missing all along? Then it was the Basics that were the answer to all previous failures. And the Golden Age of Tech — then GAT II? Super Power?
He described this “golden age of knowledge” training program for org executives this way:
The Golden Age of Administration, he said, “complements and amplifies all others, ultimately bringing the entire Golden Age to fruition. And yes, as of LRH’s birthday tonight, we have achieved liftoff. This is the one that brings them all to full blossom.”
Full blossom?
And the big expansion news? The exponential expansion? It was truly earth-shattering: They sent executives who completed the training program to:
Melbourne, London, Denmark, Scotland and San Francisco, as well as three from Florida: Orlando, Miami and “the Hometown Team,” Tampa.
Now that is some real non-expansion to cheer about! No booming orgs. Not thousands of auditors and tens of thousands of Clears made. Just some people put on planes to fly home…
According to their hype, the news just got more amazing from there!
Miscavige proclaimed:
“And let me tell you, there ain’t ever been anything like this.”
And he then showed himself yanking his ribbon on the new buildings in Austin, Mexico City and Chicago.
Nothing like this ever? How about back in 2012 when you yanked your ribbon in front of 12 orgs in one year? In fact, there were more new buildings each year before 2020, and then zero for a few years and now 3. And again, no accomplishments other than empty buildings announced…
They handed out the Birthday Game trophies — yawn. All the predictable, pre-determined winners.
And then, “thinking in futures” Miscavige announced the next “season” of Scientology Network TV. Even more of a yawn. This enormous waste of money only serves to keep the sheeple happy. And they are not even the public for the inane offerings and don’t watch them either. Every now and then I click on one of the shows and it is SO obviously propaganda it is laughable.
But to culminate it all, the hype went to another level with “Mr. Miscavige” leading the way:
Still thinking in futures, Mr. Miscavige acknowledged that there was “one present we haven’t unwrapped … yet.
“This is a gift so grand, it required commensurately grand preparation to unwrap it.”
And as the crowd stirred with recognition and jubilation, he said, “This will be the Church of Scientology and Celebrity Centre Paris,” then announced a Grand Opening in the coming weeks.
Woohoo. Not even anything that is DONE. Just the promise of something in the future. Something he has shown at previous events! But it took grand preparation to unwrap it this time.
And he concluded the evening by announcing “one final gift.”
“It’s a gift on behalf of LRH. Indeed, words he wrote for you,” he said, explaining that each attendee would be receiving a personal copy of LRH’s handwritten poem “We Are the Free People,” which resonates with inspiration relevant for all.
And this is the text of what they called Hubbard’s “immortal” poem:
Our unchained minds can reach
Afar and grasp
The idea of ultimate Freedom.
Scientology
The
Road
Sign
Out.
We are the Free People.
We LIVE!
We’re Free!
—L. Ron Hubbard
Hardly Shakespearian. Or immortal. These words had already been long forgotten until they were resurrected for this event. They will have been forgotten again by now — just a week later.
Apparently this nothingburger of an event elicited “dozens” of “thunderous” standing ovations.
Why?
Because the sheeple are conditioned, like the people of North Korea, to wildly applaud at every opportunity to demonstrate their commitment to the cult. It does not matter to them the obvious lies or missing evidence. That their Dear Leader proclaims the unreal to be real is all it takes…
Addition:
Check out Tony Ortega’s latest posting about Elisabeth Moss and John Travolta attending this event — they doctored the photos on their website!
See the image they are showing the world below — Moss and JT are clearly two people away from Trish Duggan in the red dress above, and nowhere to be see in the image below…
I saw a video from outside the event. It was long and showed the people driving in to the event. There were more protesters outside than event attendees inside.
I’m new to reading your blog. The information you provide about what goes on in Scientology is very interesting. The thought that they celebrate a dead man who is literatteraly insane is very odd to me and I’m sure to many others.
Regarding the photo at the top of the post – the background is gaudy, garish, tacky, ugly, and over-the-top awful. However, it is appropriate for “Dear Leader” COB.
Wow, resurrecting Hubbards disingenuous excuse for a poem was a brilliant sweep of hypocrisy.
Here is a more accurate version of the poem.
“Our chained minds cannot reach
Afar or grasp
The idea of ultimate slavery
Scientology crush’s us in its clasp.
The Road Sign Out
Leads to the edge of hell
We are the squashed People.
We die, We’re trapped, to brainwashed to tell.
—L. Con Hubbard
Unchained Minds??, The exact opposite is true. Heaven forbid if anybody truly found out. It really is the wizard of oz.
They send the super power guys back home, because the super power works only regional. A Scottland guy never trust a guy from Wales, and can hear, if the next came from Ireland …
His ribbon must look like a shrivelled limp beef strip by now. Although, when he thinks of being held in the arms of his unrequited love Little Tommy…
Besides the fact that they have nothing more to say, soon they’ll have to face the reality that no more money will come in. They’ve long passed the point of no return. They’ll still linger for a while out of inertia and a bit of cannibalism. But it’s just a matter of time. The pioneering expansion booms available are over, especially with Russia. They have no more room. Major nations like China and India are not fertile grounds for the nonsense they have to offer. The rest is déjà vu. The command teams they send to the orgs will shatter in the face of reality like eggs falling from the 5th floor. Spiritually, many people have awakened by now, and many – I’m talking about millions and millions – follow a different, functional, and zero-cost spirituality like that of Eckhart Tolle or Sadhguru.
For scn it’s game over.
I don’t understand why DM doesn’t have a sing along, something like We Stand Tall would really get the sheep clapping. Than maybe a dance contest to something Do The Hokey Pokey. Geeze…boring!! Oh, The Chicken Dance is always a fan favorite. Just a suggestion.
How about a rendition of “Thank you for listening “?
The LRH version is always good for blowing people’s eardrums out.
I trust your judgement Alcoboy 🙂 Let’s add that to the suggestion box.
Yanking his ribbon, that will never get old lol.
The back of Moss and Travolta’s heads are definitely visible in this pic. Oopsie!
https://tinyurl.com/5acu8w7k
Exponential ramifications? Name two.
LRH made up a concept called life continuum. It’s where someone dies and a loved one of theirs does a life continuum of that person by acting like them, doing the things they did, talking like them, “going into their valence.” Well I think either Davey or one of his speech writers did a life continuum for the dead Dan Sherman, his former speech writer. The “moreover” was a dead giveaway to me. OR maybe they just downloaded a few Dan Sherman speeches into an AI and then told it to write a new speech using those parameters, and Voila! A speech is born. I’m sitting on the front porch of infinity in awe of it all.
Probably chatGPT Cindy. Good move on the cult’s part. Way cheaper than feeding and housing an ancient Shermantor…
I so enjoy your post, podcast and shows. I hate that you have endured such trauma. Keep up the good fight! You have so many supporters. The dark side (haters) will implode sooner than you think…..
I don;t even know how to describe my reaction to the “immortal” poem. I read it and I don;t think i comprehended anything. The poem is quite easy to forget.
Yeah Suzie, it is just like all the other crap he wrote. In one ear and out the other.
One of the biggest cues that absolutely NOTHING is happening in the realm of scientology earthly happenings is the latest news about the “Volunteer Ministers,” whose latest blurb about “helping those in need” is still from October 13, 2022. In the maritime industry that would be called “Dead In The Water.”
https://www.volunteerministers.org/news.html
And just WHO are the Volunteer Ministers? Well, it’s like their website says, “Over 200,000 strong and spanning every continent of Earth, Volunteer Ministers work directly with community leaders, officials, support personnel and citizens to bring order and real help no matter the situation … They have also become a global force delivering effective solutions in disaster zones that don’t make the headlines: in homes and schoolrooms, businesses and neighborhoods. They are on call on a 24/7 international Volunteer Minister Hotline.”
😂😂😂😂😂
I’ve covered these Bozos at length on my PseudoScientology blog. Here are two posts covering the nonsense on the no-show “where did all the ministers disappear to.”
https://tinyurl.com/5x29n4f3
https://tinyurl.com/3yj2cz7m
Covering cults is a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.
It’s more *Uncovering* the cult than covering it.
Every time I look at your blog I learn something new about Scientology or LRH that makes me go : What the hell? And makes me question alot.
The more I learn about LRH, the more disgusted I become.
In the old events, at least some stats were shown. Now it’s just bubble of hot air where literally nothing happens. Really tragic (for them).
Today in the garden, my dog ran, barked to dogs and birds, and accomplished other things happily and many more than all of them in a year.
It’s just so hard to believe! So much provable bullshit.
“Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes.”
Side note: Night of this event. I turned and drove down the road that lead to the parking lots to REH. Didn’t get very far as security was stopping cars this time – checking to screen who was coming in while still in their cars. It used to be scientologists were not checked at all, then at the door, now on the driveway in.
Also, there was a time when not only was REH auditorium filled but the great rooms and there was even a huge tent with a screen and additional seating in one of the parking lots for the spill-overs. Still measly numbers but way more than what is being claimed now.