From the latest edition of Source magazine, the official magazine of the “international spiritual headquarters” of scientology.
You can see they are making a big deal about their new “7.5 foot diameter world map” with “12-sided polygon locator pinpoints.” As always, scientology seem to impress themselves by talking about the size of their maps or details of their toys. It’s as gauche as someone telling you “I have 7,000 square feet of hand-made silk rugs in the entrance hall of my 40,000 square foot home — and you paid for it.”
This magnificent new map is apparently adjacent to “Embassy Row” which would appear to be a reference to the Potemkin Village of empty storefronts representing scientology’s front groups. “Embassy Row”? Seriously
They tout it as a “veritable” view of the “exponential expansion” of scientology.
Not so fast there buckaroos…
You gotta love those quotes. Mark Rush is always someone I look to for proclamations about scientology expansion. And what a profound thought — the map actually shows how much EMPTY space there is with NO scientology at all.
As you can see, the “veritable” exponential expansion is ONLY identified with one number., 11,000 churches, mission and “affiliated groups”… (just for the hell of it, the Jehovah’s Witnesses claim more than 10 times this number of congregations — actual “churches” as opposed to “affiliated groups”).
We have broken down this crazy false figure previously. There are about 150 orgs and 400 missions. The rest is 10,550 “affiliated groups” that nobody can identify. If you take the list of EVERY “affiliated groups” that scientology includes on its website, you come up 10,000 or more short of this 11,000 figure.
It’s a lie. It’s like an airline claiming 1,000,000 passengers, bags and individual peanuts flown in the last year. Except they DID actually have peanuts on their 3 planes.
But even more damning in this Golden Shower of Ideal Orgs Era: Every ideal org is supposed to be opening groups, missions and other orgs around it. Remember the famous Miscavige graphic he touted:
Well, despite this claim, they have been using this number of 11,000 for YEARS.
In fact, here is posting from this blog dated December 27, 2013 noting they have increased the false number of churches, missions and affliated groups from 10,000 to 11,000
Apparently NO expansion has occurred since December 2013 — coming up on 5 years.
But all these “ideal orgs” should be generating new groups and missions every week. At least every month. Even if they only did 1 per month each, that is 600 a year or nearly 3000 since they first announced. Why then isn’t the number 14,000 by now? A few thousand additional non-existant groups would not make much difference. But it’s a symptom of lying that it becomes increasingly difficult to keep the stories straight….
And the BIG lie they keep telling is that they are experiencing “unprecedented” expansion.
UPDATE:
A new announcement has just come through, once again highlighting the brilliance of Hubbard organizational tech. They announced the ribbon yanking would occur on 28 April. They didn’t make that date, so then announced it would be 19 May. Now on 9 May they announce it will be on 12 May. Bet this is going to be populate primarily by staff and SO members from Tampa. And you can bet the blue-plate dignitaries for this one are absolute nobodies as you cannot get real people who have real work to reshuffle their schedules like this. It’s hard enough to get the sheeple within the bubble to do so…
Dear All,
The official date for the Grand Opening of Ideal Org Orlando has just been set for this Saturday, 12 May 2018. Everyone needs to be there by 1:00 pm as the event begins at 2:00 pm. There is a lot of traffic at that time with everyone driving to Disney World and the other them parks, so please plan accordingly.
Again, the Grand Opening is NOT on May 19th, but this weekend – May 12th!
This is only 4 days from now so spread the word immediately and get everyone confirmed!!Ideal Org Orlando
6770 Lake Ellenor Drive
Orlando, FL 32809ML,
Anna Nicola
Int’l OT Committee Office
And this — they’re busing them in. How come Orlando doesn’t have it’s own crowd?
Thanks so much to those of you who responded last time to my email about who’s going to Orlando.
ML,
Sue Moore
Dep Chair, Flag OTC
So…is Scientology really shrinking? Besides empty org parking lots and buildings, how can you tell the organization is drying up?
“Whatever happened to the “return” of the “Universe Corps”?”
Somebody accidentally added an “e” to corps and it died.
Color-coded cylinders?
Backlit display??
Holy crap, scientology has unraveled the super high-tech of mother fucking lite-brite! … from 1967!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObdEUA2rwGg
From the hands of LRH, the torch has truly been passed to you, Mr. David Miscavige.
I have been wanting to say this for a long time… and just now have the courage to speak:
Scientology… A mixture of North Korea and an episode of Hogan’s Heroes.
Ha Ha, so true Silent One! I would have said an Orwellian Three Stooges mixture too.
Starring:David Miscavige as Colonel Klink.
Also starring: L Ron Hubbard as General Burkhalter.
Time to warm up the helicopter. 🙂
It sounds so apt that Disneyland and other nearby attractions of the fantasy world are getting more interest than Scamology , maybe to boost their ” fantasy membership ” number they could include all the amusement parks as their affiliates and even as a stunt from the ” stunts ‘r ‘us ” department from Scamology have Goofy as the bus driver and Daffy Duck as the ticket conductor ……. opps , sorry that role has already been taken by Miscavage .
Danm Bitch Mike I love you !Nah don’t get your hopes up(jest)
This song sums up my and others friendship:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjEq-r2agqc
The only unprecedented expansion I’ve seen lately in $camology is the Dwarfenfuhrer’s forehead. Methinks it’s time he had some more hair implants done.
Don’t ever question Mr. David Miscavige. His forehead expansion is on the porch to infinity!!
Maybe they’ll get Mickey and Goofy, a couple of the biggest dignitaries in the Orlando zone.
What! No Donald Duck? I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you.
To: LRH via
Target II Exhibitionary Force I/C
Planetary Command I/C
cc: The Midget
My deareat Ron,
Advise you to revise your “islands becoming the sea” reference. Given global warming and all the massive membership contraction going on worldwide, it might behoove you to issue a warning about the sea swallowing your uninhabited island morgues. Donations for sand bags might garner you a few more measely dollars you so crave. Ultimate failure is none the less assured given my proclivity for annihilation of the gullible.
Yours truly,
Satan
Yo Dave,
Are ya sure ya don’t want to change it back to the 19th? There is still time. Sue can re-re -confirm the re-confirmed so you will know whether to take one or ‘too’ busses from Flog.
BTW, is there a fee for fuel if you take the bus?
Let everyone know when you figure out which side of the bed ya got up on good buddy! And remember ….. it’s Wednesday Dave. That is one day before ya git to see another straight down and vertical line on every statsheet except ‘newly disaffected or suspected to be so’. That will be up from last week.
Who do you have Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw hammering on this week? The under the radarites I know of are drifting away faster now Dave. Clamp it down big boy!!
NC,
I know you’re from NoCal as you’ve frequently said so here, but is it possible that last lifetime you were a Noo Yawkuh?
(And, no worries, coming from me, that’s a compliment.)
I know Mr. David Miscavige is perfectly fine with his Thursday stats. In, fact, I am confident he will post a commentary late Thursday or Friday morning on the blogs of Rinder and Ortega to show all the naysayers how wrong they have been, with indisputable evidince of his upward expansion!
Come on Dave, don’t prove me wrong!
… evidence, even! Spelling, argh!
As in, Sea Arrrrrrggg?
That’s it! Ha Ha!
Mike: I apologize if this question has already been asked (I haven’t had time to read all comments). But WHAT are “affiliated groups?”
As protective as they are of their copyrights/secrecy of their “doctrine” and as eager as they are to exterminate “squirrels” (Bill Murray’s quixotic crusade against gophers in Caddyshack comes to mind) scientology is not exactly a franchise-friendly “religion.” Sure, they may count Narconon, VM and all their unhinged activist groups that aren’t part of the “church”–until they are. But 550 to 11,500? This number only makes sense if they are counting every law firm and detective agency or squirrelt/apostate posse they ever employed into this number.
Do they ever bother to explain what’s an “affiliate group?”
Todd, the Way to Happiness Foundation. Scamology schools like Delphi, Narconon, the KKK, The Muzzie Brotherhood, et al.
Mike, you’re a guy with my sense of humor and always have. So today’s comment is just as I’d expect from you. Kudos and keep at it.
🙂
Maybe if you have ever filled in a form while in the Church of Scientology and wrote down occupation or employer then that becomes affiliated to the Church?
Quote: “There is a lot of traffic at that time with everyone driving to Disney World and the other them [sic] parks, so please plan accordingly.”
Interesting! NO mention of the traffic or parking problems that their own multitudinous influx of attendees will create. Seems like they wised up to the fact that the big stampede of the day will be–surprise, surprise–passing them by. So much for the much touted fundraising statistics of the gazillions of tourists and local students who will be abandoning their vacation plans and books in order to flock into the Ideal Morgue! Seems like Six Flags Over Xenu is no match for Disneyworld!
” NO mention of the traffic or parking problems that their own multitudinous influx of attendees will create.”
All three buses should really jamb things up!
Whatever happened to the “return” of the “Universe Corps ?
https://tonyortega.org/2017/08/20/how-badly-does-scientology-need-new-staff-miscavige-is-bringing-back-the-universe-corps/
https://tonyortega.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Keller74p6.jpg
Dave F.
Ah, yes, Dave. The Universe Corps. That golden carrot dangled in front of org staffs with the promise of going to Clear and OT if they will “get the org to Saint Hill size”.
Well, here’s my question: suppose that, somehow, an org does manage to route several thousand bodies into the shop and onto Div 6 courses which inflates the CF and sends the org to ‘Saint Hill size’.
Okay, so in comes the Universe Corps and starts delivering auditing. During this time, 75% of those recent bodies in the shop now in the Div 6 courseroom are now saying ‘Fuck this shit!’ and blowing in droves. Will the Universe Corps suspend auditing sessions until those blown public are recovered? Or will they just pack up and go back to LA or Clearwater or wherever?
Anybody have any data or opinions on this?
Ah, yes, Dave. The Universe Corps. That golden carrot dangled in front of org staffs with the promise of going to Clear and OT if they will “get the org to Saint Hill size”.
Well, here’s my question: suppose that, somehow, an org does manage to route several thousand bodies into the shop and onto Div 6 courses which inflates the CF and sends the org to ‘Saint Hill size’.
Okay, so in comes the Universe Corps and starts delivering auditing. During this time, 75% of those recent bodies in the shop now in the Div 6 course room are now saying ‘Fuck this shit!’ and blowing in droves. Will the Universe Corps suspend auditing sessions until those blown public are recovered? Or will they just pack up and go back to LA or Clearwater or wherever?
Anybody have any data or opinions on this?
Uh,how did this get duplicated?
It’s ok, ”’number times over = …..” 🙂
Alcoboy, your question as this very likely issue is right on the money. Having never been staff or SO I don’t know if the Universe Corp would suspend sessions until blown public were recovered.
Having said that, my gut instincts tell me this is a promise made on a safe assumption that that org will NEVER go Saint Hill Size. Not that org, not ANY org. So, promise away, you know?
its a promise made in the very secure assumption that they’ll never have to deliver on it, and ONLY because of this very safe assumption.
If as you say by some miracle they DID ever have to deliver on it it would be a miracle if they even kept that promise, arrived and STARTED giving sessions, let alone completing them.
And the Dwarf is capable of pulling the Universe Corp out of an org even if they DIDN’T shrink after going SH size, simply because he’s a sociopath.
My 2.
So you do a photo shoot to show your massive expansion and can get fewer than 20 men, women and children to show up. How does that work? Shouldn’t all the buildings in “Embassy Row” *snickersnort* be take a number bulging at the seams?
Secondly, they had to move the date from May 19. David Miscavige has already RPFed 147 staff members for losing his invite to Harry and Meghan’s wedding and all available staff are franticically digging through dumpsters and landfill right now to locate it (because he’s positive they didn’t overlook HIM) and he will of course be available to attend since he will be the star of the show.
Ha, ha, ha, ha ! The Dwarfenfuhrer at Windsor Castle for the wedding of Harry and Meghan! Talk about a good laugh!
To: Alcoboy
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: upcoming royal wedding.
Number one, stop calling me the Dwarfenfuhrer! Number two, Queen Elizabeth is head over heels anxious to meet the exalted ruler of the MEST Universe! Number three, this will be the version of the British National Anthem that will be sung at this affair:
‘God save our COB
Long live our COB
Our COB!
We found eternity
Through Scientology!
So we give thanks to thee!
Oh, COB!
So, no, it is not a good laugh! I will be the star attraction at this event and, to lay it down good, I plan to have every single member of the Grenadier Guards relegated to the RPF(which I am NOT eliminating, rumors to the contrary) during the ceremony so that all of Britain will know who’s really running things!
ML
Dave
I am sure David Miscavige is invited to the royal wedding.
I mean, I’ve seen leaders, and I have seen leaders of leaders, and then there is… Dave.
As Tom Cruise would say, scientology is lucky to have him.
Bwah hah hah hah hah.
Rumor has it that he will be standing on his apple box while Harry and Meghan kneel before him prior to reciting their vows,
🙂 🙂
Oh, and that Megan, as tiny as she is, will NOT be permitted to wear her usual stilettos on her wedding day, because, well…
And Her Majesty will also be kneeling so that the world will know who’s really in charge.
“There is a lot of traffic at that time with everyone driving to Disney World …”
Ha, all that traffic is certainly not going to this stupid Scientology event.
No, not with all those busses jamming up traffic.
“Now we have the date – this Saturday, May 12th – so I need to reconfirm all of you.”
Typical “hill ten” (i.e. last-minute clusterfuck) and repeated work caused by piss-poor planning. Everything they do goes that way. That’s Sea Org Competence for you.
“Crafted from rich mahogony….” Got their gushing descriptions of their MEST really says where they are at – MEST, MEST, MEST worshippers. The opposite of where Scientology is supposed to lead you. Miscavige has become one with MEST. It seems to be all he cares about anymore.
What is spreading exponentially is Scientology’s bad reputation due to its lies and abuses.
When I saw the brochure picture, I immediately thought of “Dr. Strangelove,” and the War Room and Big Board. I can still remember when I truly and completely believed that we were taking over the world. Could I have been that delusional?
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/671106781947134422/
You were not alone…
Very much enjoyed reading your book, Chris.
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!!
Nice!
Weelll…..maybe then, but this is now.
One of my favourite things to do is go visit a them park at tw on a Saturda afternoo. Lets hop there aren’t queues to ge i . I’d better pla accordingl …
Good one.
Well, I myself have experienced “unprecedented expansion” a few times in my life, but there was no way to lie about it, (some things you just can’t hide)
That being said, it makes me wonder just how long DM thinks no one is going to go hmmmm, buildings with maybe only a handful of people in them, a lot completely empty, what’s up with that?
Deep in their hearts, they know that Scientology is rapidly imploding. But they won’t say a word.
I do understand that Old Surfer Dude (BTW – love your handle 🙂 ). It’s especially difficult when something is going on that is so far out of your own personality, your own ethics, that someone like DM, and his mentor LRH, to even come up with the thought that it’s possible that you are being used. I mean, this is just so so nutty. Inertia possibly keeps some from even wanting to question, plus their teaching has them believing that to question is a sin. The poor folks in the Sea Org are too tired to think much past when they might be allowed a couple hours sleep.
I hope it’s ok for me to post this thought that went through my head last night.
I’m on my 7th book right now, have read blogs, newspapers, watched shows, documentaries, dealing with cults in general, and Scientology. I tried to come up with a word for LRH and DM and it seems, to me, the most simple is just plain old bad. Neither of them have any redeeming qualities. “If” either of them ever did anything good it’s not even close to enough to make up for all the pain and suffering they caused and continue to cause. IMO there’s just nothing redeemable about them. DM had the power to make things right, but it seems he’s just so deeply morally corrupt it’s beyond hope that he is capable of doing so. Soooooo, does that place both of them at about a 1.1 on that tone scale, or whatever it’s called?
ADJECTIVE
BAD
failing to conform to standards of moral virtue or acceptable conduct.
“the bad guys” · “bad behavior”
synonyms:
wicked, sinful, immoral, evil, morally wrong, corrupt, base, black-hearted. reprobate, depraved, degenerate, dissolute, amoral, criminal, villainous, nefarious, iniquitous, dishonest, dishonorable, unscrupulous, unprincipled, crooked, bent, dirty, dastardly
+1! Outstanding post! As I always say, Scientology is all make believe. Pure & simple. I mean, paying to play make believe. Can you imagine that, Peggy? It just boggles the mind…
I can’t imagine it to the extent that this has gone to Old Surfer Dude. It’s one thing to buy a video game, or put your money into a slot machine, a pinball machine, a lottery ticket – innocent enough.
This goes to an entirely different level when you get to this depravity called Scientology that, yes, it boggles ones mind.
It is just heartening to read the posts here of all those who have escaped that lunacy. You are all survivors and I sure wish all of you wonderful things, wonderful lives to enjoy all that you now can. I will never give up hope either that those who don’t have their loved ones with them now, that that situation will change sooner rather than later.
Peggy,
These “loved ones” who have turned their backs on their families, on those who grieve for them, on those love them dearly and miss them terribly and would do anything to be back in communication with them – they’re not innocent. Don’t think for a minute that they haven’t made their own choices. Sure, DM is an unspeakable sociopath and they’re victims of his suppressiveness and the suppressive disconnection policy but at the same time, they made their decisions.
We all saw the same things. Some of us decided to tell the truth and leave; others decided to lie to themselves and everyone else and stay.
As to this latter group: nobody is physically torturing them. They’re not physically blind. They’re not physically deaf. They can and do observe. They are aware. Truth seeps in, don’t kid yourself. They’re not oblivious.
They’re just pretending to be oblivious, but that’s a lie, too.
They know, and they choose to stay. They choose to stay even if staying is just a “fuck you” to those who;ve already tried to reason with them – people who PROVENLY love them and have pleaded with them to LOOK.
And they HAVE looked.
Don’t think for a minute that they don’t either know or strongly suspect how deeply Scientology is in trouble.
They’re not innocent.
If one really wants to help them, its important to confront the fact that the evil is not only resident in David Miscavige.
He could never succeed without help from staff, Sea Org and public.
Thank you Aquamarine for your reply. It’s not possible for me to walk in your shoes, know what it’s like to have been where you were. I really do appreciate your input.
Hear! Hear!
One minor detail from the “gee whiz” stats: They say they have 12 million feet of real estate globally. That’s probably accurate when you add up all of the facilites at Flag, Saint Hill, Int Base and Pac Base, including all the shabby “berthing” where they cage their Sea Org workers. You probably get 4 million square feet for the Ideal Orgs at 50,000 to 60,000 apiece. And you can probably add up enough other facilities like continental HQ’s, missions, etc. to get something reasonably close to 12 million.
But what does that number mean? When you look at the number of Scientologists, which is somewhere around 20,000 globally (including all the staff and Sea Org), that means that each Scientologist has about 600 feet of COS premises to serve them. That doesn’t sound big until you do some research and find out that this is approximately the living space per person in the big new houses built in the last 20 years in the US. In other words, Scientology could turn that space into housing for its entire membership, housing them in spacious comfort.
America spends a lot more time shopping than it does practicing Scientology. And yet there are only about 24 square feet of retail space in the US per person, which incidentally is over 2x the next most malled-up place (Canada, a quaint rural region of upstate New York located somewhere north of Buffalo, which often claims to be its own country for inexplicable reasons). So Scientology has 25x more space per member than all the grocery stores, malls, and other shops that do a lot more good. What a staggering waste!
“(Canada, a quaint rural region of upstate New York located somewhere north of Buffalo, which often claims to be its own country for inexplicable reasons)”
At least we have the cojones NOT to give COS tax exemption. (there, you finally got the rise you’ve been looking for with your continued quaint comments. Ya got me. oooh.) Have a nice day, eh!
As you know, my apparent confusion about Canada is more about mocking stupid Americans who are ignorant of our closest neighbor (“neighbour”) country than it is about insulting Canadians. I was appalled to read, years, ago, that only a small percentage of American high school students could a) find Canada on a map of the world and b) correctly name the capital city.
There are many things that Canada does right, and the lack of tax exemption for Scientology is but one. That said, Canada is not perfect. Rob Ford was elected mayor of Toronto, for one thing.
One thing Canada does very right. Canadians are unfailingly polite and kind. Never met one that was not. And I have spent considerable time in Toronto and Vancouver.
Thank You Mike! From Regina (rhymes with fun and the home of Deadpool lol) if you ever get here – we’ll take you out for dinner. We promise to be polite and kind too! 🙂
And their youngsters, for the most part, speak far better English than the majority of US younguns do.
I have no doubt about that.
With the exception of Justin Bieber.
Mike,
As for “Kind / Polite” Canadians, try visiting Montreal and not speaking French !
Dave F.
🙂
Me too, I love me them CANAJUNS!
Instead of bayou swamp, they get maple syrup stickiness…
Thank you, Mike and John. Sadly, the late Rob Ford has a sibling that now looks to be our next Premier . Buffalo is looking better every day!
Don’t decide too quickly Sue. Remember, some of your paycheck goes to supporting the cos. Don’t want that to happen to a nice woman such as you.
Re: unprecedented expansion. Actually, this may not be a lie at all, but just some artful wordsmithing. Consider this:
“Sir, I’ve just reviewed last month’s statistics on our efforts to expand Scientology and I’m sorry to say our expansion efforts have never yielded so little. Here, take a look at the graph.”
[studies graph] “It’s never been this low. This is unprecedented.”
Nailed it John Doe.
Goebbels, oops, I mean Miscavige,… he can squeeze a pearl out of the smelliest turd.
Good one, John Doe. “Unprecedented”, for sure. !00% correct! Stats have NEVER been worse! LOL!
I was looking into the bona fides of one of the “dignitaries” at the Perth opening, a Doctor something-or-other. Turns out she’s a major exponent of woo (i.e., pseudo-science), and I’m not at all sure if she can legally call herself a doctor in Australia. Someone might care to chase it up with the relevant government minister.
John P. Capitalist, on these fifth tier “dignitaries” at scientology events… “One way to combat this is to send documentation of their photo opp with Scientology to their opponent in their next re-election, and maybe to editorial boards of newspapers.”
Expansion?! Like a dying star going supernova.
The only real expansion is the amount of dusting needing to be done by Grounds staff. Dust, that’s the one thing that keeps coming back.
Golden Era Parachute said, “Expansion?! Like a dying star going supernova. ”
In my opinion, it’s more like a FART in an ELEVATOR . . . LOL !
Dave F.
THIS is the end result of applying El Con’s “technology”.
Any questions?
Nope. I’m good.
Nope. I’m good too.
There is something terribly wrong.
Are you sure this is $cientology produced?
The images have people in the room.
Hired actors.
Absolutely right! Imagine having to hire actors for a shoot! That doesn’t bode well for the cult.
Or staff and family members of staff of all other empty buildings on the street.
Where is the mission network that is supposed to feed the ‘mother’ mOrgs? Show me one ‘prosperous’ mission sending ‘students’ to the nearest mOrg. Where is the NarCONon network that is supposed to funnel newly freed addicts into society?
Empty promises are empty.
If it is lies, it is $cientology. Not that they have a monopoly on lies.
Tubby took lying to a whole – new – depth of deceit that would make the devil envious. If he was awake he was lying to someone about something.
It was ravaged in the early 80s.
You got ravaged in the early 80s? What? Oh…ok. Never mind.
Tee hee well yeah that too, you were there weren’t you. I mean what are you talking about? Bwa ha ha ha
that map thing in the Flag Building was kind of cool – it had these lite brite type pegs in it to mark each org or mission, different sizes and colors … kind of lit up with the underlighting…
as time went by they were f*cked up, knocked over and some missing. Pretty helter skelter.
I would have liked to klepto one of the pegs, my magpie urges can prompt unwise actions…. but I knew it would cost me way too much when it came up in session.
I wonder if they’ve since glued them in.
The photos always show that area all full of people. It’s empty in real life.
Anyone hanging out there is on a routing form….probably waiting for the Success Officer who never seems to be around, or the OT Committee gal who’s there to force you to join your local OTC back home.
She didn’t like me much.