For the first time in at least 20 years, probably longer, the May 9th event is not going to be at the Shrine Auditorium. In fact, it’s not even going to be an “event.” It’s going to be a “weekend” of “igniting the fire” in Los Angeles on L. Ron Hubbard Way. With “Dianetics cars and motorcycles” and a Dianetics “volcano climbing wall.” Wonder if they will have carnival rides and sideshow attractions (a “Dunk The COB” attraction would generate a lot of interest I am sure and I bet they could make some serious money).
There must be NO news worthy of an event.
The walls are caving in. This is a SIGNIFICANT indicator of the sorry state of affairs inside the bubble.
And they are trying to put a happy face on it with exclamation point tech.
I guess GAG II just isn’t taking off like it should be…. Must be SP’s blocking it.
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2014
From: West US Events Unit <[email protected]>
Subject: 64th Dianetics Anniversary! And its on LRH Way!!!We are holding the 64th Dianetics Anniversary on Saturday May 17th at 7pm. And it is going to be on LRH Way!!!!
Make sure you spread the word to all your comm lines, there will be a BBQ party starting at 7pm with Dianetics cars and
motorcyles on LRH Way and you can get Dianetics Decals for your ride too! (only at the event). Activities for kids include
a Dianetics Volcano climbing wall!And of course miracle stories and International News on the Dianetics movement all over the globe along with our annual
awards presentations for the top Dianetics booksellers and auditors from all levels of the Bridge!Here is the invite, pass it along: [See above — that is the “invite”]
Gus Cox says
The Enturbulator! Ha! That’s bloody brilliant.
Jens TINGLEFF says
I understand perfectly. It’s only Dianetics, after all…
Seriously, with Captain David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige busy doing what really matters, i.e. staying away from a court room appearance under oath, these petty details really just cannot be prioritised.
Rick Mycroft says
Since it’s a street fair, will they send the regs out pan-handling? “Hey buddy, can you spare just $5K?”
MJ says
They’re using cardboard signs: “Out of favor with COB. Lost my job, my friends, my life. Anything helps. God bless.”
Fredric L. Rice says
Dwarf tossing! Joy!
I saw this insane lunacy and had to smile. They have so few customers left that they have to try to get non-customers to appear in photographs they can use to commit more fraudulent advertising with. And they won’t ask people’s permission, they won’t pay them, they’ll claim everyone on the street is a dimwitted customer and market that fraud among their few surviving customers. What fun!
And we’re on track to eliminating their NarCONon frauds entirely (in California, any way) by year’s end.
Deana Holmes says
I dunno…my first reaction upon seeing the poster is “huh? Scientology? Looks like an advertisement for one of those big charismatic churches.” Someone is mixing practices…
remoteviewed says
No exploding volcano.
Not one mention of the book that the May 9th event was supposed be about except obliquely as “Dianetics” (which could be Dianetics Today or Dianetics 55 or any Dianetic or Scientology book really since even Scientology books were copyrighted originally as “A Dianetic Publication” ) and is mentioned at least 50xs in the HCOPL Books Make Booms.
Sort of reminds me of what July 4th has become.
No mention of Liberty just another excuse for a Barbecue.
Maybe they are using the old books for charcoal.
Wonder if the parents of any kid who falls into the Dianetics Volcano will sue the Church?
Garry Scarff says
Of course, Tory, myself & others will attend (protest). I wonder if they’ve purchased anymore fake shrubbery for the event?
hiatus57 says
I cannot believe it?
After 30 tears of theft and crime the Asthmatic dwarf is actually going back to the real basics that LRH pioneered back in the 50’s that started it all?
No way, there will be IAS registrars disguised as road tarmac and Patrons with no honours holding out blank cheques with attendes names on them.
heheeeeeeeeeeeee
scientology411 says
I’ve been saying for a while now that the “church” has become a parody of itself and that “Dianetics volcano climbing wall” seems to vindicate my opinion.
When the kids get to the top will they toss other kids in as blood sacrifices?
xenubarb says
Maybe I should bring my motorcycle, The Enturbulator. Put it next to DM’s bikes so they get cooties and beeties.
SPs are not causing the failure of GAGII. Nope, that is DM’s fault. GAT was only what, ten years ago? Remember everyone told to dump their books and buy the new “correct” ones? Of course you do. So do they. And that is why GAT II was premature. You can’t run the same con twice in a time frame where everyone remembers the first one.
Potpie says
What is a Dianetics car/motorcycle?
Is that a new model designed by midgy?
Do they run on lava instead of gas?
Or wait maybe these are a new model
by Tesla……I just can’t figure this out.
Or are they just regular cars/motorcycles
with painted scenes of volcanos and dark little
spots that seem to move around depending on
what angle you look at them?
I once saw a Dianetics car at the Indy 500…..
it was wrecked.
richardgrant says
Aren’t these folks raising funds for an “ideal” auditorium on the PAC base campus? At the same time they’re canceling events at the Shrine? Mightn’t this seem a little incongruous, even to the remaining loyal cadre of donors?
Lars says
These posts must really ignite COB. “Dunk The COB”, he must
have fumed in rage. Very funny.
Actually I do not think this slogan was surveyed in the drought
stricken Southern California area with its devastating wildfires.
SILVIA says
Possibly a mistake: “awards presentations for the top Dianetics booksellers and auditors from all levels of the Bridge”.
Does it mean they will award auditors at any level? I know on May 9 the awards are for the Book I Auditors only, unless they are putting together Auditor’s Day together with Book I-May 9 Celebrations.
Hum…or, or there are so few Book I auditors left in the planet that will be a shame to present them and, of course, how could I have forgotten? There are simply no auditors to speak off-most have blown, departed and the very few are re doing their Student Hat. Now you can use exclamation points baby, Student Hat!!!!!!!
Anyway, we shall see.
1subgenius says
Are you kidding me?
“Ignite the Wildfire in Los Angeles”
Not enough nuts igniting actual wildfires in L.A. I guess.
This is so inappropriate it boggles the mind.
Just Me says
Just read on the South African blog that the Pretoria org is 1.16 million SA Rand ($110,000) in hock for municipal services and have gone unpaid for two years. And the Joburg org is said to be in similar straits. When will the lights go out on LRH Way and down at Flag?
Jethro Bodine says
“Dunk the COB” made me LOL. However, I would prefer the “COB piñata” attraction even better. Someone please hand me a baseball bat,
John Doe says
“Ignite the wildfire in Los Angeles.”
Please tell me that this poster is a parody and not something that the church put out?!
Wildfires are NOT something one wants to ignite, to the citizens of Los Angeles.
What buttons will be used next?
“Unleash the Tsumami in Japan?”
“Lynch the barriers to Harlem Ideal Org expansion?”
Fer cryin out loud, do they have a 14 year-old new recruit in charge of promo and planning of events now?
It is like 1945 in Berlin and children are all that is left to defend the city.
This is a stunning indicator.
Tony DePhillips says
“and you can get Dianetics Decals” , yeah, that’s really what I want on my car. I will be sure to be there.
plainoldthetan says
Ooooh. Dianetics henna tattoos!
NoEyeDeer says
Ignite the wildfire? Odd. Maybe there will be a mass book/e-meter burning to get those old materials out of circulation.
Annabelle says
:o) LOL
Mreppen says
Oops the Palladium is on Sunset Blvd, not Hollywood. Forgot, and I was referring to the next New Years event. It’s a small hall that seats maybe 2000 at best. Last time I was there was when the event announcing LRHs death in 1986.
Bob Dobbs says
I was there, and I could swear that was at the Universal Amphitheater.
threefeetback says
Dave, Still can’t get the damn test center open on Hollywood Boulevard to sell some books? Phasing from your ‘Straight up and Vertical’ BS to your ‘cut and run’ style of management?
hgc10 says
What is posted above was the winner of the “Write a Story Fragment About a Street Fair in Hell” contest, for the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future galabration.
richardgrant says
Hahaha!
Idle Morgue says
Bring your kids so we can indoctrinate them early about the “volcano”….How disgusting. We all know what that volcano represents! NO – I have not done OTIII but I know all about it and did not get sick, not even a sniffle! LOL
I can’t wait until everyone talks about that whole scam freely here and every other blog!
Dianetic’s IS SO DEAD! Slappy tried 4 years ago to revive it and it was a total failure!
I recall Staff members going out to get trained coming back to deliver Dianetics. Displays were put up – COB announced this was what boomed the Orgs back in the Ron days – so he was following what worked before.
If COB only knew that his O/W’s are out for the world to see and no one is coming into these buildings anymore. Scientology is dead!
It was announced that you could do Dianetics as much as you want for free – you could even go CLEAR.
It really was a plot to get people into the buildings so they could be fleeced out of money from Staff but that did not even work. There were a few NOI people on the course but they finished it and then went back to their mosques and delivered it for a while and now it is totally dead!
I tried selling Dianetic’s books and the public knew all about Scientology and L Ron Hubbard – could not even sell them to witches at witch fairs! LOL
BobG says
I bet the little weasel – cob- doesn’t show his face! I wonder if or when he is going to come out of hiding. Probably afraid he would get heckled or nasty things thrown at him. Wouldn’t that be a hoot!
MJ says
Wasn’t it at The Hilton a couple years ago?
plainoldthetan says
Or the Bonaventure?
plainoldthetan says
Wait! If the May 9 event isn’t being held at the Shrine, does it mean that the video version of the event isn’t going to be forced on all orgs and missions/
Richard Lloyd-Roberts says
Well this way they can manipulate the stats too. Its pretty hard to see who’s coming and going on a whole weekend. They can count every time a person arrives. 3 -5 times per person.
Chris Mann says
The strange (possibly ironic) thing – this is the kind of event the church should have on may 9th and other usual event dates. It, on the promo anyway, sounds a lot more fun than listening to the cob drone on for hours. Keep it light or skip entirely most events and have maybe one event a year that is a briefing covering stats, expansion news, plans etc.
This is of course in a parallel universe in which the church is a viable organization.
richardgrant says
This is a very good point. It’s almost as though someone had the idea that, Hey, it wouldn’t hurt the church’s image to be seen doing ordinary, non-creepy things. They could maybe refrain from installing rows of potted evergreens. If fact, given the nature of the event, they could even open it to the public!
I guess that’s not gonna happen. And even in this seemingly innocent context, as Espiritu noted above, they can’t help themselves from throwing in a touch of the bizarre: “IGNITE THE WILDFIRE IN LOS ANGELES!” Jesus. The unspoken message here would seem to be: Save your kids! Get out before it’s too late! These crazy people are going to burn it all down!
Hallie Jane says
Nothing is creepier than creepy people, trying to do something to not SEEM creepy. Sorry guys, it just multiplies the creepy exponentially and most good, decent, normal people can spot that very easily.
Mreppen says
Next up will be the Paladium on Hollywood Blvd, which seats all the PAC Org Sea Org and Class V org staff and a few whalers.
Katniss Everdeen says
Hopefully Dianetics is will do us all a favor retire completely by age 65 (unlike its victims) and disappear into oblivion once and for all.
Espiritu says
Not likely, Katniss. Lots of people have experienced wonderful improvements in their lives as a result of Diantetics, though I understand that you have not been one of them.
The subject Dianetics will be around long after the Church of Scientology as well as Scientology haters bite the dust.
Katniss Everdeen says
I actually did have lots of wins with lower bridge actions, but now I see it as the cheese that baited the Scientology mousetrap for me. As such, I dislike Dianetics immensely, but I understand where you’re coming from.
Espiritu says
Ignite a wildfire in LA??!!! In LA?? In the middle of a record drought?? Right before the start of the dry season?? Who thinks up PR stuff like this? It ranks right up there with the posters they used to put up showing a picture of a cute little squirrel with a “NO” symbol slash going through him. Apparently somebody eventually figured out that this offended people who appreciate nature and wildlife because I haven’t seen those posters for a while.
I wonder how the LAFD would feel about this inappropriate image and message going out into the environment.
But aside from the public relations factor, if the COS really wants to start a metaphorical “wildfire” of Scientology they will first have to get rid of that “cute” little squirrel who has been busy for years twisting the subject out of any semblance of its original intent.
OTVIIIisGrrr8! says
We in RTC can assure you that, yes, while this is an event degrade, there will no degrade in the fun factor as Scientologists climb a Dianetics Volcano in an unbelievably public parody of OT III.
And to make this Criminal J&D Funfest ever more fun, there will be a “Shoot the Semicolons” air gun range where Scientologists can shoot semicolons and win prizes.
Free RTC-brand official pie, cake, and pizza will be served.
Note: Only IMPLANTED Church Members may attend: http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2014/02/17/church-of-scientology-to-implant-members/
The Oracle says
Laughter!
Annabelle says
Hilarious!
Tony DePhillips says
Lol!!
Cindy says
And there will be pie faced eating contests and dunk the Davie machine. That one will have the longest lines. Will he have shrinkage when he gets wet? I mean even more shrinkage than he already has?
Baby says
Dunk The Punk
Lynne Hoverson says
I doubt it’s the cost of the Shrine that’s a problem. The real scenario is that you can photoshop a crowd into the picture afterward, but the ones who are there at the live event are going to look around and see how empty it is and start asking questions. A street fair?–no one will know. When there aren’t many people attending, anyone can say, “Oh, the big crowd was an hour or so ago, you just missed them.” ROFL
EXESSO says
I think burning an effigy of DM would be a great way to kick off the weekend. Now THAT would ignite the fire in LA!
Michael Leonard Tilse says
They are either trying to save the money on renting the Shrine, or Dave doesn’t want to expose how empty it would be if they staged the event there. What if they gave it and no one stood and clapped?
I think Ole dainty dave of the fanciful navy has realized it is end game and he has taken all the ready cash for his bugout-bag. The local staff are probably organizing this on their own.
I can’t wait for some insider to slip you the scoop on the shabby internals of this soon to be dreadful flap.
Roy Macgregor says
Dm stopped doing broadcast events for May 9th at least 15 years ago. I mean really, who gives a shit about DMSMH and awarding top book one auditors and so forth. Wheres the cash in that? Of course it was also the only event that was ever actually a raw public dissemination event, so no surprise that DM downplayed it into the ground. Of course far be it from any scientology staff or public to notice that the May9th event is getting the short shrift and far be it for any of them to notice that the events are getting smaller and smaller. It all Wow! and Kapow!!! and So GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! Like the the number of exclamation points is a way of increasing attendance. Down, down, down they go. Where they will land, they do not know.
The Oracle says
The Nation of Islam cares. And the Nation of Islam is getting donations from some of the Independents now. Why not? They are the “upstats”. 4000 auditors they made in the last few years.
Louis Farrakhan is a very intelligent man. Plus, he really is virtuous for the most part. He walks the walk.
David is a voice over / narrator professional.
Chris Shelton aka Galactic Patrol says
isn’t this interesting? Looks like the Dianetics event is going the way of the Auditor’s Day event. Remember how Auditor’s Day used to be a big international event and we all got in our tuxes and went to the Shrine to celebrate the auditors? I don’t like to be conspiracy-minded, but it is funny how the first Int Event to get killed off was the one celebrating the auditors and now the second one to go to its oh-so-timely death is the one celebrating Book One (also auditor-minded and also Hubbard’s Bolt from the Blue that started the whole fiasco).
I wonder which one will be the next to fall? I know which one will be the LAST to go: the IAS event. That one Miscavige will keep running until the bitter end.
The Oracle says
Um…..Sea Org Day?
cris says
cris says
Oh this is fun… Auditors day gone and now May 9th… I think MV will be next… (It kind of already is on it’s way out)… Then it will be New Years… Then March 13th… Then IAS… Well the last two will probably stagger on forever until it all ends… But that’s my prediction…
tunedal says
“Miscavige Day” could substitute the whole lot.
MJ says
When he’s gone all the indies will celebrate Miscarriage Day.
Pepper says
I agree Chris, the IAS event will be the last to go because it makes money for the guy on top of the non-existent org board at Int base, Captain David Miscavige.
Since the Church of Scientology has evolved into a building development organization, things like auditors and Book One don’t take precedence anymore. I also remember the days of the big Dianetics and Auditor Day events and they were very inspiring.
Developing LRH Way was always nice but now has the special purpose to host block parties for the book that started it all: Dianetics.
I did have a thought that having events outside on LRH Way might be a way to show the public how a PAC auditorium is “vital” to the clearing of Los Angeles, thus California, the planet, the universe, etc. Remember, it’s a building development organization now, so this would be a necessary step.
Daisy says
And remember that the maiden voyage was cancelled. Not enough people to confirm?
MJ says
Too much asbestos in the food.
Steph says
A Dianetics volcano climbing wall ? Tears of laughter are streaming down my face. They are joking and degrading what is supposed to be their mainline book.
Can’t wait for the photos of this one. LOL !
1subgenius says
Gotta be a lot more fun than listening to DM drone on for hours, no?
MJ says
Who listens?
Devo says
Now that’s a serious telltale sign, thats for sure!
Bela says
I love the idea of the dunk tank. I would even consider going if that were the case.
Altho seriously, I wonder if the captain will even be there for… a street party?
What a downgrade from the Shrine. VERY telling indeed.
GTBO says
He hasn’t done a Dianetics event for years….. Must be beneath him
1984 says
Davie will be missing the perfect opportunity to go around wearing stilts (he can finally be tall, for a change).
Breppen says
FP for the local orgs must be happy as hell as they are not being raped to fund the expensive Shrine event. Maybe just maybe they won’t have to eat rice and beans for a change.
plainoldthetan says
Well, at least it’s a 4-week notice, instead of the usual one-week emergency/
2briancox says
I seriously doubt this is their final answer on the date, time, location or events.
plainoldthetan says
Hey Mike, doesn’t this mean that the DiMinuitive one can show up in Texas on the week of the 15th to be deposed?