Here is a new video from Tampa Org (with 58 likes and 3 comments). They promote themselves as both “Ideal” AND “SH Size” — in fact they promote themselves as the FIRST ideal and FIRST SH size org.
They even start out with the humble assertion “What does every other Org want to be?”
Well, let’s take a look at what every org on earth aspires to. Because Tampa has given us a wonderful glimpse of just how much they actually accomplish. They kindly provided statistics for the last decade as significant accomplishments that everyone else should be jealous of. It is a good measure of the unreality inside the bubble.
Tampa is as good as it gets in scientology — the biggest, baddest, bestest org on earth with the “largest Flag trained Tech Team” (and the benefit of all the Flag public rejects and people who cannot afford the prices at Flag). Nowhere else on earth even approaches this level of accomplishment.
Here are the stats:
Intro Services Completions — 64,539
6454 per year or 124 per week. Sounds almost impressive until you compare it to First Service Starts at 6,901.
Intro services are anything from a lecture to a film play to anything else they can manage to squeeze under the definition. The real indicator of how many new people have started on the Bridge is First Service Starts, and that is a less than impressive 13 per week. The stat they do NOT include is Public Reg Paid Starts — those who actually COMPLETE a First Service and then go on to their next service. You can bet this is about 10% of the number who start a First Service. Or 1 or 2 a week.
WDAH — 290, 231
A SH Size org is supposed to deliver 1000 auditing hours a week. This is an average of 560 hours a week. What happened?
Clears and NED Comps — 425
Here is where the rubber really meets the road. How many people are they making to Clear (or nearly)? 42.5 per year is not even 1 per week. That also tells you that a majority of their WDAH’s consists of Objectives and Purif because 500 hours to get someone through the Grades and NED to Clear is absurd and would be indicative of terrible “out tech”. You are supposed to make it to Clear in 100 or 200 hours. Not 500.
Tampa, the model Ideal, SH Size org is not coming anywhere NEAR “clearing it’s zone”. Tampa is growing by about 50,000 people per year. So in fact the Mighty Tampa org is going backwards in the effort to Clear Tampa… The Tampa Bay area is becoming LESS “Clear” as each week passes. Every year they are falling another 100 years behind.
And this is the best there is in scientology.
Hubbard used to love to say “We are going up while the world is going down.” It seems he had it dead wrong.
I remember LA Org being told they were the “best” and “most upstat” org around, even better than Tampa Org. So for that reason, they started sending people from all over the country to LA Org to learn how to be as upstat as they are and to intern there as a staff member and to export the special gold dust that LA Org has to be the training org of all time. And that designation as the org that will train all others to be upstat like them, that was before DM had 200 SO members descend on LA Org and push out the existing staff and take over the place and run it themselves. If it was doing as well as they claimed, why then the need to send 200 SO members over to run the place and let the staff go? (anyone who signed a SO contract could stay.)
Even a couple of truly new service starts a week seems surprising, but my guess is that family may account for much of that, probably along with some fudging of stats as others have suggested. Children of locals would likely do their first services at either Tampa or the Bellaire Mission, as might some children of visitors to Flag – which probably has increasing numbers of customers coming from places where there is no local org and no coverage from the rapidly shrinking mission network.
Slightly O/T,
Yes, in 1974 Hubbard tasked me ant Tony Strawn with writing the song “We”re going up while the world is going Down”. I told him I did not like the song and so the song was not written.. and so my stay on ship was greatly shortened. I know I’m one of the few people who spoke out regarding the emperors new cloth and didn’t get thrown in chain locker or the RPF.
I went into the RPF later, not for that episode.
Scientology is a shell of what it was when I was on the ship.
I’m grateful for Mike, Leah, Tony, Jeffrey, Chris, Karen, Jon and a host of authors and bloggers for making that a reality. 2020 will be a year of crushing defeats for the cult. That’s my prediction for what it’s worth.
WITH OUR NEW BUILDING, WE DID ALL THIS!
All what?
Body routing? Run a stress test table? Watch the boring ass Scientology Network on your device? Have a Caribbean dance party?
In the words of the late Benny Hill:
BIIIIIIIIG DEAL!
Damn, the C of S can’t even lie effectively with statistics….the producers of those stats obviously need some serious non Scientology schooling in basic mathmatics.😁
Hell, when I was in rhe SO staff there could falsify their stats pretty good.
They should be made to retrain on “The Professional Liars Course.
Believe me, any former staff member knows how to pad their stats.
Intro Service completions can and do include such things as:
Walk-in asking for directions
Pizza delivery
Fire Dept annual inspection
Mailman
Homeless guy looking for handout
All it takes is a little imagination and presto, your org is booming!
Chris, it wasn’t just stat padding that happened. I remember FSMs trying to collect commissions for totally free shit that their public did like watching an introductory film or reading one of the Basics books. They would be so pissed when the Dissem Sec would tell them no way and no money was forthcoming.
“Intro Service completions can and do include such things as:
Walk-in asking for directions
Pizza delivery
Fire Dept annual inspection
Mailman
Homeless guy looking for handout”
LOL! I will keep this in mind whenever I see Scientology stats, especially the narcissist-in-chief making his boasts from his porch to Infinity.
Chris, your comment about a homeless guy looking for a handout reminded me of something that happened when I was staff at a mission. It was a particularly slow week and the regges were desperate for some action. They ‘regged’ a homeless guy for a quarter. Their reasoning was to do something to ‘create a flow’. Anything was better than nothing. I don’t remember how the stats for the mission turned out that week, but that poor homeless guy’s stats were crashing.
Great post Mike.
The mention of Tampa being the “benefit of all the Flag public rejects and people who cannot afford the prices at Flag” reminded me of a fact.
A fellow I knew who had more than $150,000 on account at Flag was for some reason deemed “unacceptable” for service there and told to go to Tampa instead. That org said they would service him but would be able to transfer from his flag account only half of what they needed. He would have to pay the difference himself. What a crock of shit! The fellow instead wrote an email to COB asking that he permit the full transfer. Of course an answer never came but a Flag E/O emailed him saying to return and he’d be accepted. So, once again the almighty buck is more powerful than policy and tech. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr….!!!
Probably the mighty midget threatened everyone at Flag with an eternal RPF if the situation wasn’t corrected. I wonder how many Flag staff members’ pants suddenly became yellow in the front and brown in the behind?
I am familiar with rational and irrational numbers. Anyone going into any $cieno ‘first start’ is irrational. I wonder how many actually just saw a few minutes of the video kiosk come on and then slipped away? As for all the clears and NEDS, how many are doing them for the second or third time? And how many are being given to the staff in lieu of pay?
All of the numbers given cannot be taken at face value. The Staturday 2pm always causes a few ‘postulates’ to come into play.
Zee Moo, you’ve got their numbers: Any number from scientology is likely to have at least a little fudge-factor thrown in if it’s not a complete lie created whole cloth.
And I’m sure some of them are “what they WOULD have been if it weren’t for those DB SPs — like Mike and Mark Bunker who screw their stats up by just living in the next county AND , you can’t forget that damned SP DOG! Who knows where he’s been sticking that Suppressive nose? He’s GOT to be the reason WHY the auditing rooms smell like that; defecating wherever he damn pleases, INDEED!
Thursday 2:00 PM?
When you mention THURSDAY@ 2 PM, ex-staff will shudder; a key-in, at least, though I suspect SOME receive new Engrams from the tiny fists of fury — or USED to; He’s pushed past 60, and undoubtedly doesn’t want to exert too much after Wednesday night’s imbibing of the sacred single-malt.
This was my very first thought too: I bet most of the auditing hours come from Purification Rundown and Survival RD co-audit.
My year wish is that the staff open their eyes, stop being duped and take their lives on their own. I remember some of them as very good people. We shall see.
Thank you Mike and have a good celebration for the next 2020.
I don’t think First Service Starts means starting a Bridge Service. It just means ANY paid service. Like a small paid extension course. First MAJOR Service Starts are, or used to be, first time Div 4 Starts. And according to this video that is ZERO.
And THAT means that all those NED and Clear stats are the result of recycling OLD scamologists through the org. NO NEW PEOPLE REALLY ONTO THE GRADE CHART
Wynski, you’ve nailed it! The false “starts” stat undoubtedly include someone buying a book being credited for starting some mythical course involving that book — whether or not the new meat ever looks at the “checksheet”disguised as a free bookmark.
[DANG! Hope I didn’t just give the OSA guy reading us a bright idea. That could inflate their “stats” enormously AND GET MORE emphasis on selling the damned things.]
I hear you, jere, but after all is said in done, it doesn’t matter how ingeniously the cult people pad and otherwise falsify their stats. It doesn’t matter.
They know their stats are not real.
They know they’re not producing anywhere near what they should.
At best they’re preventing themselves from being RPF’d or otherwise punished, having to do Lowers, etc. That’s at best.
Meanwhile they’re committing High Crimes – falsifying a stat per LRH is a High Crime, right? Someone please correct me if I’m wrong as I haven’t read this stuff in 8 years.
High Crime or no, lying to their Seniors, lying to the public, lying to themselves, not getting out anywhere near enough real products to be viable, the creating of complexities via the lies in turn creating more complexities, in turn necessitating more lies, and so on and so on… my God, think about it! What a miserable, empty, wasteful existence these people are leading!
No wonder they’re so unhealthy! No wonder so many of them get strangely sick and die too young. Living this way…just thinking about living like this, all these lies, all the time, year in and year out is making me feel slightly ill.
Tampa tempers the tale by tampering the stats.
Thanks, Mike. The most revealing blog entries are the ones that use Scientology’s own numbers against them. Something as simple as math lays bare exactly what Scientology is – a cult with a following that would rival a middling social club.
JVB,
Just as you said.
Wow. First Service Starts says it all. And I can guarantee you that part of that stat are people who the Org got to come in to do the Intro Lecture, who were anywhere on the Bridge all the way to OT’s coming in to the Org to do that lecture. I saw it all the time at Belleair Mission. And if they had never been into Belleair Mission, it was counted as a First Service Start. It’s a really embellished stat but then, I’m sure most of the above stats are embellished. Like the ED of the mission said to me once, “We are No. 1 and we suck.”
She said that? That’s hilarious!, Mary! At least she was being honest 🙂
O/T. In a sermon on 12/29/19 at Muhammad Mosque 27 in Los Angeles entitled “The True Meaning Of Christmas: The Greatest Lie Ever Told Pt. 2: PAGANISM,” Scientology Freedom Medal Winner Nation of Islam Minister Tony Muhammad lectured on “Jewish devils” who are “slave-makers of the poor” and “bloodsuckers of the poor.”
https://twitter.com/ISNOINews/status/1212002279408250880
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