This new book is a must read for anyone interested in scientology and what goes on inside the church.
Peter Bonyai recounts his experiences from the day he first walked into a mission in Pecs, Hungary through his life in the Sea Org and ultimately to his departure 10 years later.
I helped Peter by editing the english translation (he wrote it in his native tongue and translated it himself).
I found the book fascinating and compelling. Peter has a wonderful sense of humor and an amazing ability to analyze both the insanity of what he experienced and his internal responses and thoughts, chronicling his descent from naive teenager into the “go-to” reg for Hungary following the Sea Org motto “the money justifies the means.” His story recounts a wide spectrum of experiences — from brand new public in a mission and auditor trainee at Munich Org to recruiter and chief fundraiser for the Budapest Org, the IAS and OSA Human Rights campaigns in Hungary. Along the way he was targeted as a scapegoat, accused of being a spy and embezzler, went to Flag as a recruit but was turned away as well as a number of eventful and rather harrowing trips to Copenhagen under the rule of Walter Kotric and the watchful eye of RTC.
His detailed recollections of his experiences are correlated to his thoughts about what he was seeing, hearing and experiencing, and how it was effecting him and changing his outlook on life, attitude towards others and his personal sanity. It is an amazing journey.
I highly recommend this book, and it is now available on Amazon.
I include here the Foreword and the first section of the first chapter, along with the final pages of the book to give you a taste of his story:
Foreword
I was a Scientologist for more than 10 years, spending the majority of this time as a church staff member. I started out as a lowly bookseller and personality test evaluator (of the infamous “free” tests) in one of the small Scientology organizations (called missions) in Hungary. I then joined the so-called elite of the movement, the Sea Organization and rose through the ranks, eventually becoming the second-in-command of the Central European branch of the Church (located in Budapest, Hungary), where I served the movement for the majority of my Scientology career.
I also spent a few months at the “Continental Liaison Office Europe”, located in Copenhagen, Denmark and one month in Clearwater, Florida at the church’s so-called “international spiritual headquarters” (the Flag Service Organization). I have seen many faces of Scientology and have written this book with the intention of presenting a relatively accurate picture of the movement.
I had two goals in mind in writing this book. First, I wanted to show how my personality changed as I progressed in Scientology (if one can call that progress). I also wanted to describe in detail how the middle management of the Church operates, as it was a fascinatingly bizarre experience.
I sincerely hope I have been able to provide some unique insight into the inner workings of the Church and the minds of its followers.
Chapter One
The Little Brown Church in the Vale[1]
A Book That Changed Everything
On an otherwise uneventful day in the summer of 1994, our beloved and slightly eccentric Hungarian grammar and literature teacher presented the class a book that he was clearly excited about. The word “Dianetika” in shining gold letters was emblazoned on its cover, which was dominated by a volcano – probably with the purpose of dominating its reader from the outset.
He loved to cover unusual topics (which were often completely unrelated to the beautiful Hungarian language), so this presentation was not an uncommon occurrence. In essence, he told us that the author of the book, L. Ron Hubbard was either a genius or a madman and that he had never read so many bold claims about the nature of man compressed into one single book.
Well, let’s check this out, I said to myself. At that time (second year in high school) I was pretty heavily involved in a great invention called role-playing (it had just appeared in Hungary), and subsequently, my interest was sparked in the magical and the unknown. I was also reading a huge amount of sci-fi and fantasy books at that, and was particularly impressed by the Foundation series written by Isaac Asimov, as well as by the works of some fantasy authors. Interestingly, I did read some short stories from Hubbard too, but at that time I rated him “mediocre” on my official sci-fi author scoreboard. This hobby provided an interesting diversion from mathematics and computer technology, my main areas of interest.
So, I checked out Dianetics from the local library and read it. At first reading, the book seemed to be a lengthy essay on a shaky theory written by an overly confident and arrogant person who wanted to sound truly authentic and legitimate. I definitely had a good idea of what “overly confident and arrogant” is (being such a person myself– an excellent student attending one of the best high schools in my hometown, Pécs).
Hubbard wrote the following right on the first page: “You are beginning an adventure. Treat it as an adventure. And may you never be the same again”. Let’s just simply say that I did not suspect at the time that his wish would be so thoroughly fulfilled.
Apparently he had discovered the reason for all human misery and claimed to have a solution for that. In a nutshell, his great discovery was the following: all human suffering and illness is caused by a portion of the mind called “the reactive mind” (the subconscious one). This part takes control when one is affected by pain and/or unconsciousness, stores everything related to these experiences (all events as they happen with sight, sound etc), and takes each sentence uttered during such a period of pain and/or unconsciousness literally, which would function later as hypnotic commands. Hubbard coined a name for these stored subconscious experiences; he called them “engrams”.
An example: a person is hit by a car and passes out. Someone from the crowd that has gathered around the scene says, “Look at his leg! He will never be able to walk again!” According to Hubbard, this would be registered by the reactive mind as a hypnotic command and the unfortunate fellow would probably live out his remaining days in a wheelchair.
Hubbard stated even wilder assumptions in his book. According to Dianetics, the recording of external stimuli begins in the womb, and the sentences uttered during marital fights would be recorded in a similar manner. For example, if a man hits his pregnant wife in a way that his unborn son becomes unconscious, and then says that he is out of luck with women, then his son, once born, would have serious problems finding a suitable female partner.
Luckily for mankind, Hubbard offered a solution for these problems, which unsurprisingly was also his invention, a therapy called “auditing”. Despite his claims to the contrary, the method is rather similar to psychoanalysis: the therapist (“auditor”) gets the patient to find these engrams and tell about them in detail over and over again, until their effect on the present is eradicated. Therapy sessions also address the engrams created before birth. When someone gets rid of all engrams, he becomes a so-called “Clear”. According to Hubbard, Clears are completely rational, free of any and all “aberrations”, which he defined as “any deviation or departure from normal thought or behavior.”
The whole thing sounded very unrealistic at that time. Frankly, I found it hard to believe that a discovery of such magnitude would have gone unnoticed and was unknown to the general public. A week or so later I had already forgotten about Hubbard and his self-proclaimed science of the mind.
A year later, my best friend filled out a Scientology personality test and received an evaluation at the local Dianetics Center. After that, he was invited to a Dianetics workshop. I was not particularly happy about it and told him to avoid that place, stating that he should not become “a brainwashed Dianetics moron.”
Despite my warnings, my friend attended the workshop. He was not too convinced by what he saw and experienced there, so he could not recommend it to me.
Overhearing our conversation, another friend urged me to take another look at the movement, as he was involved in similar self-help groups (José Silva’s Mind Control and “The Forum” of Werner Erhard fame). He had also visited the Dianetics Center, but upon seeing the rather overweight local leader, he thought that it was definitely not a recipe for success.
I was not doing well at that time, so I was much more receptive to such suggestions. I was very disillusioned with the materialistic society around me and I was very concerned about the future of humanity. I felt something was very wrong with the world and no one seemed to care about the real issues. Even worse, pursuing spiritual fulfillment as opposed to amassing material wealth and living a “normal” life was considered ridiculous by most of the people I knew and interacted with. At that time, my future looked pretty bleak (I could not really picture myself living a completely “normal” life – completing my education, working for 40-50 years, followed by retirement and death). This was something I was trying to avoid, but I had no idea how. Also, it seemed that there was no real alternative to that kind of lifestyle that appealed to me. All in all, I was often depressed and unhappy.
Due to this bleak outlook, I gave it some more thought and decided to have a look at Dianetics. I asked for a personality test and filled it out. At that time I had a really high opinion of myself and expected a rather good result. So, I made an appointment and went in to hear their evaluation of my test.
A red-haired woman in her thirties greeted me. She introduced herself as a priestess of the Church of Scientology, trained to deliver personality test evaluations. I thought, “Wow, apparently this bunch got even more bizarre since that book was written”. I took a seat and looked across at her with a condescending smile.
I was told that I was an irresponsible, nervous, unstable and pathetic individual in urgent need of attention. She made sure that each statement hit home, and repeated them over and over when I expressed my doubts. She was adamant about the evaluation and gave me an unquestioning gaze each time I wanted to contradict her and explain myself. And she mentioned several times that Dianetics can help me to improve that condition. I was completely overwhelmed at the end of it and I felt totally devastated. My overconfidence was gone as if it never existed. I walked around in the town almost completely devoid of life. All my problems seemed to fall on me. Thinking it cannot get any worse and I could definitely use some help to address my deep-lying unhappiness, I decided to give Dianetics a chance.
A week later I found myself in the Dianetics workshop.
[1]A reference to an L. Ron Hubbard writing of 23 March 1985, where he condemns the kind of image where a Scientology Church is portrayed as a place “where people can get together, sing and are not too unhappy.”
These are the final few pages of the book, there are 30o pages in between:
By the summer of 2007, my doubts concerning the Church became stronger and I started to look up Scientology on the Internet to find out some answers to the nagging questions that were never properly answered by the Church. I was increasingly annoyed by the unlimited greed of the Church. I was also at the end of the ridiculous 1500-hour amends, and I had come to feel that I was contributing a great deal to the Church while getting next to nothing in exchange.
Nevertheless, I was still not ready to face the truth. I convinced myself that the end goal was valuable enough to make all sacrifices worthwhile.
At around the same time, the package of the 18 books Hubbard wrote on Scientology and the accompanying lecture series were finally released in a brand new, thoroughly edited version (as explained earlier). All Scientologists absolutely HAD to buy the entire package for a whopping total “package price” of 3,000 USD. The pressure really ramped up to the level of complete insanity – even I was called almost every day by Sea Org members from all around the world. I heard from other Scientologists that they got calls on weekends and during the week after 10 PM. As an ex-Sea Org member, I was quite immune to such insane pressuring, but it was too much for me even.
Finally, I gave in to a “special offer”, made by one of the Ethics Officers at the Flag Service Org. I was able to buy the entire set for 1800 USD, and I was told that an “ethics particle” would cover the rest of the purchase as amends for some sort of crime he had committed. I reluctantly agreed and paid for the package, maxing out my credit card in the process. Needless to say, it took 2 months and numerous e-mails and phone calls to get the materials actually shipped to me.
I started to read the books, hoping that they would give me new-found confidence and stability to kickstart my second, hopefully more successful stint in Scientology. I could not really concentrate on the words of LRH as much as I had done earlier – the spiritual traumas I suffered kept coming to mind. It seemed that I had no choice but to enroll on a course to study them in a proper Scientology course room, to keep these incidents from interfering with the study of the materials.
In order to do that, I had to formally complete the ethics program, i.e. to prove that I had indeed completed 1500 hours of amends for the Church. I put together a submission, including an itemized list of all the volunteer work I had done for the Church, and sent it to the Continental Justice Chief.
He called me two weeks later (a few days before Christmas). He reprimanded me from deviating from my original plans for the amends (he was right in that regard). I told him that the situation had changed, but it did not matter as I done the required amount of hours anyway. I reiterated my desire to progress on the Bridge and study the Basics. He said he could not approve the request in its current form, but he had an idea for a fast amends project which could make up for my shortcomings.
He then gave the receiver to a “high-ranking executive”, who explained the plan. I was supposed buy 10 complete Basics packages for around 25,000 USD and then resell these packages to Scientologists for the full 3000 USD price each. If I paid the money right there, then they would consider the 1500 hours of amends done. I told them that I had no money and I would like to concentrate on studying the Basics and going up the Bridge. This mysterious executive then became aggressive, and told me in a threatening manner that I had two options – the easy way and the hard way. I either paid the money and the whole thing would be over or I didn’t, in which case I would then have to do the 1500 hours of amends again.
This was the last straw. I had enough of the insatiable greed of Scientology. My only regret at this point was that it took so long – 10 years of hard work as a virtual slave and throwing 50,000 USD out the window. All the bitterness that had accumulated over these long years came out in a big burst of anger – I screamed at the guy for using Mafia tactics and I told him I would not pay a fucking cent. My conscience was clear, I added, I did everything they asked and if they did not like the type of amends I did, they should get back to me in writing. I then hung up on him.
When I put down receiver, I knew it was over and there was no way back. I was no longer a member of the Church. I could not care less about their weird rules, their lust for money and planetary clearing for that matter.
I experienced a tremendous relief. I was free of the constant guilt that I was not disseminating Scientology and had not done enough to help the Church achieve its aims. After that I spent my free time browsing anti-Scientology pages on the Internet. I learned much more about the Church and Hubbard in two months than during the entire 10-year period I spent in the Sea Org. I was really frustrated and angry when I discovered the truth.
Nevertheless, I still thought that Scientology as a philosophy had valuable elements, which were worth salvaging from the corrupt and sinister Church of Scientology. I wanted reforms to take place, so for that reason, I started a blog called Scientology objectively (later on, I changed to it Scientology: Objectively and subjectively). The original idea was to start a dialogue with the general public, to get recognition for the valuable elements of the “tech” and to separate the philosophy from the Church in the minds of the people.
It turned out that neither the Church nor the general public wanted this. I sent an e-mail to all Scientologists under an alias, trying to find out how many people wanted or would back reforms and I included some rather sordid facts about David Miscavige. The responses were a mixture of sad and hilarious. Only three (!) people were interested in any reform, while a few more expressed some sort of agreement with my position, but most of the responses were threats or calling me an SP for even suggesting the need for reforms or telling me that my e-mail was forwarded to OSA and I should not write them again.
I also tried to convince Miklós to help in this project, but he refused and insisted that 100% standard admin tech should be used only, fully adhering to the instructions of LRH. I favored a different approach, so we could not come to an agreement.
Probably just to remind me of the good old times, Miklós ratted me out to OSA and told them that I was the source of the e-mail. Apparently, Lajos did not have the courage to confront such a massive SP, so he sent me a message through one of my Scientologist business associates that if I wanted to handle it then I should contact him. In my reply, I made clear to Lajos that I did not want to continue as a reformist, as the vast majority of Church members clearly did not want any changes. I had no intention of going in for an “interview” as I did not want to listen to the usual rant about me being the biggest SP in the world “but a large donation could change all that.”
I continued blogging and I met a lot of people who had been harmed by the Church and its toxic disconnection policy. This made me revise my stance about the true value of Scientology and the tech and after a while, I gave up on this philosophy altogether. Meanwhile, I changed my business profile so I do not depend on Scientologists and started a completely new life.
There was one last thing I felt I had to do. I thought that I should contribute to making the real nature of the Church of Scientology well known to everyone. That’s why this book was written.
Thank you for reading it.
I hear you, Peter. I never even worshiped LRH, but DM is a wannabe usurper. At least LRH actually originated something himself which many have found useful. I think of Ron as a very intelligent and very well intentioned person who was not perfect but was a pretty darned good guy generally. He had “warts”, but who doesn’t? DM is another story entirely. He doesn’t have much love for his fellow man.
I’m glad you at least got something good out of your experience with the subject of Scientology, and I hope that you can find a way to heal the wounds inflicted by that renegade organization. Looks like you are off to a good start.
Well done! Looking forward to reading it.
Thank you, I hope you will like it.
That was a good read, loved the viewpoint.
Would someone please email me Peter’s email address, thankyou.
I’m chuckbeatty77@aol.com
It’s peter.bonyai@gmail.com
Hi Peter,
Thanks for writing about your experiences in the “church”. I have to tell you that reading that part of your story which was posted here on the blog really ticked me off. Why?
Because you were introduced to the subject of Scientology and Dianetics by a group which had been taken over by a sociopath who is bent on destroying everything that is good about it. Most people of your generation probably never even got to experience a real auditing session which was delivered only for the purpose of enhancing your life. Or auditor training which was delivered by competent people who knew how to develop and nurture in you the skills of a real auditor.
This doubly pisses me off because I am impressed by your generation’s sincerity and purpose to improve the world we live in.
I was fortunate enough to have experienced a lot of long-lasting benefit from the subject before that snake-in-the-grass took over the organization which was supposed to be forwarding the subject and introducing it to the people of Earth. So, I do have a somewhat different perspective.
But at the same time I can totally understand your viewpoint and probably would have come the same conclusion if I had had your experiences.
The SO was supposed to be a group of OTs, but they have turned into a group of scared rabbits who, individually and collectively, to not have the integrity to not compromise their own reality.
They are controlled by fear instead of their own integrity and understanding.
They have been beaten down mentally by sleep deprivation, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and other out tech brainwashing actions until they are lost people. That really pisses me off because these are by and large very good intentioned people who want to make the world a better place and the world needs all the people like this that it can get.
So, hearing your story really pissed me off if I may repeat myself again. I am so sorry that you experienced all that, but I do want to congratulate you for extricating yourself from the lies. I also want to encourage you to continue in your purpose to improve the plight of mankind. You are an very valuable person.
Thank you for that. Make no mistake, I did experience some benefits and there were positive moments (otherwise I would not have stayed that long!).I tried to point this out in the book, too. Unfortunately, the baggage that came with the good things far outweighted them. I am not exactly convinced that Scientology in its pure form would be the path to total spiritual freedom, but it is true that in their formative period, Scientology organizations in Hungary were a fun, “uptone” place and doing courses and getting auditing was definitely better than living a so-called normal life. Too bad it degenerated into the pursuit of purely materialistic goals and into a personality cult of Dave and the worship of status and money.
+1!
+2!
+3! Very well stated Espiritu. My sentiments entirely.
Great book Peter! You’re really funny, I like your style of Hungarian humor you put in it!
I think we should get some rich ex Scientologists to fund buying up 500 copies of your book, and get a mailing list of ALL of the major donors in EU, and send them copies of your book! (Or think even bigger, and send out packages, yes it would have to be packages, no individual courses will do (!! HA, loud laugh), and send the whole batch of ex member books!!)
I think if the bigger donors could see what life is like for those that come prey/reg them, they’d think twice and maybe STOP giving giving giving, all the time to every new angle these regs throw at these richer Scientologists who seem to always save the day with their donations and sponsoring.
Chuck, I am really glad that you liked the book. I tried my best to add some humor to lighten up the otherwise dreadful mood surrounding that portion of my past. Theoretically, Scientology was intended to make life more fun, but unfortunately it ended up making it more miserable.
It would be indeed good to educate all these big donors. But as you can imagine, I don’t think the rich exes would react well when asked to donate to a library campaign. I bet they have a lot of earlier-similars LOL.
We just need to continue putting out the information. It reaches far more than most people think. For example, I read a lot of your writings when I was still “in” but trying to get certain questions answered. The ones about INCOMM were particularly eye-opening. Just keep on fighting – I think it is safe to say that it has more effect than it is apparent at first glance.
Peter, I’m now 2/3rds through your book, and agree completely with Mike RInder’s assessment it is one of the best for describing the day to day Sea Org life, and you did the hard jobs man!
It really is an impressive and very funny amid the ridiculousness and illegalities, which you write so well, including the Hungarian lawyers, you are very candid, and your vocabulary is so expressive and accurate!
Really, it’s an impressive book I’d recommend to anyone interested in the intricate day to day life of CLO/OTL execs, and that this all was back to front, meaning OTL was there due to the Flag Hungarian Sea Org member kicked out of the US for visa problems, it all was built on that idea of that staff person. Back to front, OTL before there were even any Hungarian orgs!
Must read book, I highly recommend it, it goes beyond John Duignan’s book for the regging and it flows well, at least for me, experienced Sea Org bureaucracy “course sup” myself!
It reads sort of like a book that Flag Management already would know all the troubles you were facing though, so it is not new news to them, they had it worse, the CLO staff and Walter had it way worse, as you spoke.
It’s a good book for ex Sea Org members to have a laugh about, and shows Hungary Sea Org OTL like never ever told, for sure!
I hope your book is widely promoted there in Hungary, and they have a good laugh and also causes some shock there!
I’m still not done, great book Peter!
chuckbeatty77@aol.com
Ideal church member:
http://thedailyblog.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Hear-No-Evil-See-No-Evil-Speak-No-Evil.jpg
I think of He Who Must Not Be Named, Chairman of the Board Religious Technology Center Mr. David Miscavige as the “Prophet of Scientology.” Or, perhaps, the Oracle. Deputy Source would also do, I suppose. Then again, Asshole pretty much sums it up 😀
The criminal “10% Gang” dupes at work again, plus of course in the background the instigator of it all. Even the Justice Chief is on the make! I wonder what the percentage of staff is who have done this sort of thing (selling Packages and all the other scams criminally). I just hope it is not all of them otherwise there will be a gargantuan O/W Write-Up Fest one day but with no one left to (honestly) give End-Ruds. I believe and fear however that all staff have been ordered to behave in this way. Can they really plead “Vee vur only following ze Orders”. Hard to say. There is quite obviously an internal “hard core” gang of “10%ers” that are enforcing their criminality on others.
AFAIK, when the Basics were released, OSA and Senior HCO staff were supposed to sell full packages to SPs and “recover” them. No kidding.
Cross-posted with Amazon information added:
ESMB: NEW Book: Money, Power Servitude – Adventures in the Wonderland of Scientology
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?36709-NEW-Book-Money-Power-Servitude-Adventures-in-the-Wonderland-of-Scientology
Thank you for spreading the word! 🙂
Peter, you found Scn in 1994. By many accounts and evidence, the party was already over. There seems to be a definite break, or definite and radical change in the church beginning around 1977. The Grade Chart was changed.
I am curious about 1977. Not heard this before? I have heard various theories about 1965 and KSW, 1967 and OT III, 1980 when LRH “went off the the lines”, LRH death, Miscavige take over of RTC, IRS exemption, end of IRS 5 years oversight. But never heard 1977 before?
Introduction of NED ..
Mike: The Ron’s Org people believe that any HCOB after 1977 was not written by Ron and hence invalid. Something like that anyway. That might be the source of this.Their idea is nonsense – one only has to read just a few of the hundreds of HCOBs released after this date to realize that only LRH could have written them.
The Grade Chart WAS changed in 1980 – when the Grades were placed before Dianetics, and by LRH quite validly, not 1977.
I’ve heard 1978 with the Year Of Lightning-Fast Tech and the intro of Dianetic Clear, but not 1977.
I know I went very BIs in late 1976 and continued through 1977 with the “Solution to Inflation” policy when the prices started going up 5% per month……….and then kept on going.
” Mary Sue had taken the fall after the 1977 FBI raid on Scientology and the ensuing prosecutions that brought prison sentences for 11 top Guardian Office executives.” (Tony’s blog, yesterday’s, topic, listing of MS Hubbard’s house).
Now that is an interesting theory Carcha, and there may be some validity to it. Though it has nothing to do with changing the Grade Chart?
The change started with the introduction and auditing of NED for OTs. Not the altered version of Solo. I knew someone that got the original NOTs. Original NOTs tech you can see in action on the Gang Bang Sec Checks and on the Roll Back Tech. Especially Roll Back is a derivative of the principles discovered here. Be aware that this is my opinion only and not based on research or knowledge.
Yeah, well I dont think you know what you are talking about. NOTs and Rollback Tech have absolutely nbothing in common. And the point was why 1977. That was not the release of NOTs.
Mike – I observe that the purpose of your blog is not specifically to “resolve tech issues.” That may actually be counter-purpose here, if people reading should erroneously come to think that “Scn works” then translates into “equal to” = “the Co$ is a good thing.” I’m not trying to be inconsiderate and certainly not sarcastic, but who can pinpoint a date for even such a thing as the beginning of WW I? Original OT VII worked / works, and my conclusion is that the original Bridge must be done in its entirety for that to happen. The topics of what actually happened, and how to actually properly C/S and audit merit VERY serious study. The Bridge was changed at various points, as was the intent of the church. From everything I read here, the church really only delivers anything, if anything at all, by accident, nowadays, and those accidents are quickly “corrected.” – Carcha
Certainly right, its not about “resolving tech issues.” I was genuinely curious about the reason for 1977. That was all. I don’t want to get into a debate about “tech”, though I guess my comment that NOTs and Rollback have nothing in common could be taken that way 🙂
There is no “altered version of Solo” (NOTs). There is Audited NOTs of 1978 (onwards) and Solo NOTs which first started to be developed in 1980 by LRH. And “the introduction of NED” was also 1978.
The idea floating about here about “1977” being some sort of watershed (of something or other) is a complete disassociated red herring and not worth discussing or commenting on.
Well, Carcha came up with a pretty significant event in 1977…
But I generally agree with you about NED/NOTs/Solo NOTs.
what is the situation of scientology in hungary? or hey, i can say it in hungarian: milyen a szientologia szituacioja magyarorszagban? ugyanaz mint azelott? vagy valtozik e ugy mind mashol europaban?
There is some good news – they lost religious recognition recently. The bad news: they still have a very strong and active core of loyal Church members (most of them are relatively wealthy), who idolize Dave and they are getting closer and closer to open their ideal org (as far as I know, they bought the building and the renovations budget is fully financed). The Budapest Org is a big and strong organization (over 80 staff members, a lot of tech trained staff), so they probably will not struggle in the new building. There are some successful WISE consultants who keep bringing new people in. Their PR is as bad as in the rest of the world, so the total number of active Scientologists is still stagnating. The problem is, they are not declining.
With your book you brought that decline closer. They now have a viewpoint in Hungarian with an author who is hard to deny credibility of; language is a big barrier to accessing anything about Cos than church sanctioned or tabloid grade info. Also, do not underestimate the power of your own profile. There are probably plenty of people taking heed of your advice without giving it away or do quite the opposite to survive the transition unscathed or just lessening the damage. Survival routines of 45 years of communist/socialist rule kick in and appear to be very handy…
I’m looking forward to reading your book and wish you all the best.
Great stuff, Peter.
“He then gave the receiver to a “high-ranking executive”, who explained the plan. I was supposed buy 10 complete Basics packages for around 25,000 USD and then resell these packages to Scientologists for the full 3000 USD price each. If I paid the money right there, then they would consider the 1500 hours of amends done. I told them that I had no money and I would like to concentrate on studying the Basics and going up the Bridge. This mysterious executive then became aggressive, and told me in a threatening manner that I had two options – the easy way and the hard way. I either paid the money and the whole thing would be over or I didn’t, in which case I would then have to do the 1500 hours of amends again.”
“This was the last straw. I had enough of the insatiable greed of Scientology. My only regret at this point was that it took so long – 10 years of hard work as a virtual slave and throwing 50,000 USD out the window. All the bitterness that had accumulated over these long years came out in a big burst of anger – I screamed at the guy for using Mafia tactics and I told him I would not pay a fucking cent. My conscience was clear, I added, I did everything they asked and if they did not like the type of amends I did, they should get back to me in writing. I then hung up on him.”
As you realized along with us DB’s SP’s LOL
It took me 26 years to realize:
Before you can break out of prison you must realize you are locked up.
I hope your book reaches far and wide.
You are right. Ironically, it was an actual LRH quote which helped me to see the situation I was in (the one from Scientology and Effective Knowledge – where he talks about having to realize you are blind in order to overcome that).
Thanks for writing this very interesting book Peter. I really enjoyed the parts Mike reproduced here. Question: will it be available as a printed book at Amazon or just Kindle? I have never used Kindle, maybe I will start now.
You are welcome. I am looking into the possibility of making it available as a printed book, but for now, it is only available as an e-book.
Robert, there are free apps to read Kindle format books on most platforms. Google, for example, “Kindle for PC” and the Amazon download link and instructions will pop up at or near the top.
OTOH, I have all my $cn books on my Kindle Paperwhite, and can search the entire device for a particular name, phrase or term. Handy.
Well done Peter, for reclaiming autonomy over your own life. It saddens me to think you had goals to better yourself, which were thrashed by the degraded insanity that ensued. You deserved better. You have a beautiful, kind face and I wish you all the best, with your book and future.
Thank you very much. You are right – like thousands of other former Scientologists, I just wanted to get better spiritually and help others to get better. And the betrayal of this intention (and trust) was probably the worst thing in Scientology.
Wow, this book has jumped to the top of my reading list and I ordered it today. I can’t wait to read it!
A special thank you to Peter for making your personal journey known as well as the true nature of the CoS. I have been out for several years now and am still learning new things everyday on my own path. Peter, I’m very happy for you that you are out and no longer depend on Scientologists for your survival in business. Also that you have begun a new life. I wish you much success and happiness.
Thank you Mike, for helping with editing the English translation and for promoting the book here.
Thank you for your kind words and I hope you will like the book. For me, it was therapeutic to read the stories of others and helped me understand my time in Scientology better. I hope my book will help others to come to terms with their experiences.
Damn! It’s on Kindle! So much for my SP Books in Every Library program.
Thank you Peter. I’m going to buy two books and donate a copy to my local library.
+1
Thank you! 🙂
Is there a way to get this book in paperback? I am old school and prefer to read and own an actual book.
For now, it is only an e-book, but I am already looking into the paperback option.
I hope Mike and others will let us know when this development occurs.
Thank you, Mike, for the headsup about this book.
Thank you very much Peter for writing your story. It will be helpful in bringing an end to the horrible, evil group called the church of scientology.
I have ordered my own copy and look forward to reading it.
Thank you for the purchase 🙂 I hope it will do just that.
My son downloaded your book onto my Kindle Fire. I’ve read the first 4 chapters. Excellent read, Peter! I know you’re going to try and bring it out in book form. I encourage you to do so. You had a front row seat to the madness that is scientology today. And reading your book I’m learning about things that happened that I didn’t know about.
Bravo, Peter, bravo…
I’ve never heard this term – RPF’s RPF’s RPF. Could someone please clarify?
Bad, worse, and worst?
Rehabilitation = compliant. I recall a quote from Self Analysis that the sheeple should apply to their ecclesiastical leader: ‘It’d make a jack rabbit spit in a wolf’s eye.’
MJ,
Levels of punishment intended to bring about a more agreeable frame of mind
to the recipient. Special Forces and Navy Seals train for this in mock situations
should they be captured by the enemy.
Debbie Cook was made to stand in a Garbage Can with water being poured over her head, sign around her neck mocking her sexuality,being screamed at by peers, sleeping on floor with ants crawling over her.
See references to Int.Base Scientology.
Actually in war time today no prisoners are taken, the enemy just cuts your head off
so no matter what the odds you fight to the death.
Gee Jose, are you trying to tell me Dave’s got an ulterior motive to rehabilitation?
The Money Justifies the Means.
Classic, Like the Bank Robber who was asked “Why do you rob banks ?”
Was said to have replied, “That’s where the Money is”
John Dillinger
Willie Sutton
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willie_Sutton
Peter,
Thanks for your efforts to write a book about your adventures in Scientology.
I definitely liked what I read here.
You do look familiar but I left Munich in 1982. If we met anywhere it must have been in the US, Pac.
Exellent to have another shoulder to the wheel!
Greta
Thank you. I was in Munich (in the nineties), Copenhagen and Clearwater (for one month). To be fair, I did not look so well-fed :). Anyway, I plan to keep on fighting and I also hope you will like to rest of the book.
I think you are spot on in that it is already collapsed. Even a physcopath has to decipher some of the writing on the wall. All the legal stuff eventually has to become overwhelming. His next trip to the Freewinds may be the last time you see sweet Davey.
Gary, it’s almost time to just sweep up the ashes…
What’s really amazing is how many staff and S.O. members are abused so thoroughly when their only crime is to want to help the organization. Scientology is “was” very lucky to have these people. They should roll out a red carpet. Instead they weave a sticky web and ensnare those who would help. I personally was held prisoner for 3 months in the R.P.F’S, R.P.F’S, R.P.F. (That’s correct, 3 of them). The only thing that got me out was “Legal threats”. Why was I held prisoner? Because I wanted to help this group. Really, nothing more to it. Like the fucking Lord of the flies. I don’t know of any other organization who has had so many allies turn to enemies.
Yes. That’s an amazing point. How they literally destroy the most ardent and educated executives and people who want to contribute to the organization. I guess that is the definition of SP. The good news is that those ardent and powerful people are now on the outside helping to finish off the gestapo. Glad you’re okay. I can’t even imagine the RPF’s RPF’s RPF. !! Would love to hear YOUR story! Write it!
Unfortunately my story’s been told too many times. I was in the EPF back when it was on, I think Lake st (Charlie CHaplan’s old house), right before the complex was bought. We would work over at the hospital (the complex) all day. Actually Jesse Prince was in the EPF with me back then. Good friend. I was held prisoner in the attic of the Lake st house, and then in the basement of the complex. At the time they had the RPF’s, RPF for those who weren’t “making it in the RPF. For those who just wanted to route out; off to the RPF’S RPF’S RPF. Anyway, you know, hardly ever was fed, and then just what the others didn’t eat. Cold 3, 4 hour old eggs etc, etc. Guard 24 hrs. Treated like shit. You know the story. I was an idiot for wanting to route out correctly. I was trying to do the right thing. Live and learn. Just a synopsis. But as I said, we all know the story much too well.
Overrun, I was at Prayer Day Convention in Anaheim, CA. in 1976 (I think that’s the year). How many others were there? I’ll never forget what one of the celebs, T’Sura, a fantastic singer, said to me: “They always target the brightest people.” They being the cult masters. And, again, this was mid 70s and this was happening.
Beautiful cover. I will read it. I’ve loved the books by ex’s. Haven’t read about the goings-on in Europe ever.
The original design of the cover was created by the Hungarian publisher (I also loved it instantly). It was a bit different in Europe, but unfortunately, the underlying insanity was the same.
The current operating basis of the Church is not sustainable in the long term and it will collapse sooner or later .. I think it is already collapsed .. I mean, normally I got weekly about 20, 30, 50 promo pieces a week, now I get only 2 or 3 .. very smal one ..
C’mon Friend! Give ’em a break! When you’re down to 3 people sending out promo pieces or the entire U.S., it’s a tough job! But, someone still has to do it!
Thanks for writing the book Peter. I enjoyed what I read here and will purchase it and finish it up.
Glad you made it out.
You are welcome. 🙂 Hopefully, this book will contribute to getting others out, too.
I don’t see changing a large number of current
members point of view…..they are sadly too far
gone.
The real target is management. Books like this one
can and will eventually bring to light the absolute
craziness that goes on behind the mask of Ideal Orgs,
GAG II, WTH, IAS et all.
It will show that training and processing (once regarded as the only true products
of the church) have taken second fiddle to the crazy,
fanatic individuals who issue the orders and those
that carry them out without inspection, understanding
or judgement.
So easy to see that the bottom line is money yet management
continues business as usual with no regard and yet a zeal to
produce zombie like people….like flies to shit…..with lies,
threats, bodily harm and the worst intention of all…..to
turn the tech into an unworkable tool taking away the most
basic of auditing techniques, and making the most simple
auditing tools such as handling ruds, life repair, grades mostly
unworkable in terms of full gains available. Producing auditors
that totally disregard the auditors code and quite frankly do not
understand the tech…..they are taught a ritual not based on understanding.
What will become of the tech once management falls?
Who will sort out the good PL’s, HCOB’s and auditing
procedure from the bad?
The fear of what LRH would think when applying the tech
and policy that does work should not be there.
LRH is gone but he did, in what appears to be in all his madness,
develop some workable stuff if not only for the touch assist.
Sadly in these days of tumult and accusation there are those that
will even say a touch assist is hypnotic and turns people into Zombies.
It will be an interesting series of events once management falls.
Thank you Peter for taking the time and effort to put your story
in book form for all the world to see.
I agree, it also found it very hard to change the mindset of those who are still in the Church and revere Dave. Being in the Sea Org was a rather negative experience but taught me that in certain circumstances, being relentless can and will pay off. The current operating basis of the Church is not sustainable in the long term and it will collapse sooner or later. We just need to keep attacking, exposing and speaking up until that happens. 🙂
Peter, I will be downloading your book to my Kindle Fire. Thanks so much for writing it! Welcome to this group of posters! I hope you become a regular.
Old Surfer Dude, thank you, too. I definitely intend to actively contribute in the future, too.
Outstanding! Welcome aboard, you incredible SP!
I bought a copy. Of course, I would also suggest that Peter sues the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology for organised fraud and extorting money using emotional duress, but that’s his business – he gets to make up his own mind, now.
Thank you for buying it. When I left the Church, I seriously considered that and I even contacted some lawyers and checked the relevant laws myself. At that time, the Hungarian branch of the Church was a fully recognized religious organization and enjoyed the same level of protection as the traditional Churches (Roman Catholic etc.). So, I came to the conclusion that there was not much to gain in the legal arena, so I started blogging and wrote this book (it was also published in Hungary).
Sounds like a very interesting read. Once I started reading I could not stop. Definitely going to purchase this book. Thanks Mike for the preview and all the work you do. I rarely comment much but I read your blog frequently. Apreciate all the effort you put in.
Cheers
Oz
Oz, thank you. I definitely had some interesting adventures in the Church. Sometimes a bit too interesting. 🙂 Hope you enjoy the book.
Horrible news! My attempt to purchase wouldn’t work due to it not being available in my country(Canada).
It is available, AFAIK:
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00MPY40Y6
Hey I just had a cognition! David Miscavige’s real post is INTERPRETER. He tells everyone else what LRH means by virtue of his assumed position and the staff and public toe the line. Chairman of The Floored.
You are the ultimate wordsmith. I am humbled by you…
Thank you OSD. Humbly accepted.
“Interpreter”. That’s a good way to put it MJ. You are generous and kind but I can see what you’re saying…
It’s like the shaman or medicine man acting as a conduit for the divine messages he receives from ‘the source’. The true believers put their trust in him to tell them what it all means. A very powerful position for the ‘medium’ (cause) and a powerless one for the faithful (effect). It appears to me that one of the things Miscavige fears is people not listening to him anymore. Well Dave, your nightmare is about to come true. Sweet dreams!
Wonderful! This is so awesome. Welcome Peter and thank you for taking the time to write an awesome book about your experiences and the subject. I’ve been through a lot of what you went through – as have many of us ex’s – and I’m so glad to see you doing what you are doing.
I love that line: “the money justifies the means”. So accurate.
Dear Chris, you are welcome 🙂 I also want to thank you for your insightful comments and posts so far, I really enjoyed them and helped me to understand some things I went through in the Church.
Another hole in the dike. The church’s foundation these days is more and more resembling Swiss cheese. I can envision Miscavige like King Midas where everything around him turns to gold and he starves to death. Maybe that’s GAG 3.
I think it is GAG II. GAG III will never see the light of day……………it is OVER.
Like a good mold forming on the skin of citrus, $cientology will consume its host and turn it into something useful. After it has composted itself, beneficial organisms will remain for other living things to benefit from.
Yo Dave,
Unfortunately in your case, the heat generated it the process of BREAKING DOWN THE “FRUIT” will likely completely destroy the unfavorable organisms. And yes, you are one hell of a fruit loop good buddy. Carry on with your magnificent plan …… IT WILL FAIL!
Yo dwarfenfurher! Here’s some advice: You REALLY don’t want to fuck with Coop! You’ll never last…
Great story Peter. Thank you for speaking out and helping rid this planet of a major scourge. If you are in LA when the Final Blackout occurs, please attend our party on the beach. I would like to shake your hand and give you a personal thank you.
I plan to get and read your book and keep it available for my “still in” kids and ex-wife who continue on blindly down the path of servitude for the Cult of all Cults gone Mad.
Coop — you will find it one of the best for that purpose as he tries to explain the thought process throughout his journey and it is very revealing. And REAL. And may just ring a bell — if you could ever get them to read it.
Thanks Mike for spreading the word. There will come a time………………the book sounds like it is made ‘For whom the bell Tolls’!
Thank you and I sincerely hope you will find it entertainining and useful. Interestingly, one of the main goals I had in mind when writing it was to help my “still-in” friends to overcome the indoctrination and break free from the Church.
Peter, you’re a good soul!
I’m half way through the book, and getting sleepy so will finish it tomorrow.
Really well written book, captures the life really well.
I like Peter’s irony about it, and ample quoting, nice long quotes of LRH, letting LRH hang himself and shows what’s behind the winning valance Sea Org members, all of it isn’t winning at achieving Scientology’s goals, other than wearing out people and emptying their wallets.
It’s always the well to do Scientologists donating, coughing up sponsoring training, somehow those with money are coming to the last minute rescue of those Sea Org members who’ve learned the fine art of late night regging of them!
Interesting to me is the Hungary OTL’s wildcat setup to begin with, a country first with an OTL wihtout any orgs, only missions, and their income sources to keep themselves afloat all seem in the most tied back to the well to do Scientologists, and just in the end of the day getting them to donate, via made up channels.
Very good EU Sea Org member’s book!