Oh no, they’ve done it again.
In their proud tradition of crowing about their amazing accomplishments, they have once again shown to the world how small they really are.
Super Power was released in November 2013. Four and a half years ago.
Super Power had been being hyped since 1978 when L. Ron Hubbard hisself said that it would be “available in 6 weeks”… at all St Hill organizations.
Super Power was touted as THE thing that would make “planetary clearing a reality” (like everything before it, from New Era Dianetics to OT III to NOTs to KTL etc etc). But this was really GRAND hype about the miracles of this amazing “rundown.” There was not a scientologist in the world that didn’t want to do Super Power. It promised to deliver super powers — which after all is what scientology has held out as a carrot since the first days of Hubbard pitching Dianetics.
One of the beauties of Super Power: there is no limitation on who can participate. You can be anywhere on the Bridge and if you’ve got the money they will sign you up and get you started.
In over 4 years, every dedicated scientologist on earth would be expected to get through Super Power. And they would all WANT to do it. It’s the answer to their dreams and prayers.
So, this latest piece provides interesting insight into how many active, dedicated scientologists there are.
Give them the benefit of the doubt — that they can only get 33% of their active and dedicated public to comply within 4 years (the other 66% likely don’t have enough money to pay for the service or aren’t so active and dedicated). This puts the figure of active and dedicated scientologists around 15,000. Add Sea org and staff (because of course they don’t get Super Power, even though it was actually designed to bring “dead” staff back to life and make them productive again) and you end up in the mid 20’s for the total number of scientologists on earth.
And let’s not forget – Super Power is what is making planetary clearing a reality. And they have managed 5,000 in 4+ years.
What ever happened to the “comeback” of the “Universe Corps” ?
https://tonyortega.org/2017/08/20/how-badly-does-scientology-need-new-staff-miscavige-is-bringing-back-the-universe-corps/
Dave F.
I wonder when Aftermath season 3 is scheduled to start…
Can’t wait for it..anyone know yet ??
No, nobody knows yet. We havent started shooting. Once that happens there will be more prediction on when the first episode will air.
Ok. Thank you Mike. Have a good evening!
I’m sure all the bigs Tom,Kirstey and John. Will be there in all of there glory. They have lots of money to pay for all this crazy stuff. Nut job. Maybe L Ron will come down in a space ship and carry them away to do some good for planet earth from the sky ship ?
Donna,
Watching XENU do some “Sky-Writing” in his DC-8, with LRH “Wing-Walking” would be SO COOL . . . LOL !
Dave F.
Only if LRH fell off at altitude and Xenu punched his DC8 into the ground at speed , then I guess you could say that they came down to earth !!
5000 in four years, heh. That would count everyone who had to do it twice as a review or retread, too, since nobody is ever taken off stats. Oh, and that includes all the staff who did it, besides the paying public, and oh, the figure was rounded up from 4300 or so to start with..
Wow … “The biggest, more powerful, most super photo shoot ever!!!”
My God does anyone in that bubble read this crap and just think, how can you over-hype a photoshoot with “powerful” as a way to describe it? What the hell does that mean?
And it’s 5000. That sure seems like a lot compared to how many people actually attend events. But hey, you’re making great inroads on clearing your bubble-verse. tee hee
They will have to get an ultra wide ” powerful ” lens to make it look something like 5000 , maybe that,s what they are talking about
5,000 public. That is about 85% of the total active Scientologists with the money, eligibility and want to take services at Flag. They will be lucky to get 150 public Scientologist to do Super Power a year at this point. That’s a pretty big building to handle 3 people per week. I’m sure they will start putting staff through Super Power and count them as part of the number (if they are not doing this already) just to keep some kind of activity going.
Are they going to order all 5000 completions to show up for the photo shoot? This is a great ploy to get public to Flag for flogging and fleecing.
‘Flagging & Fleecing.’ Shouldn’t that be their motto?
It’s Flogging dude. Flag has been incorrectly referring to their mORGue as the friendliest place in the world rather than the fleecingest place on the planet. Let the flogging continue until all accounts have been fully fleeced.
It’s my fingers! They’re the ones responsible!
They will call your fingers out as ” suppressive “
Flag – Mecca of technical extortion and fleecing of all assets. A very precise science indeed.
Come to Flag where you’ll get a good flogging!
I didn’t go into the details and numbers. As a general comment maybe a large part of the remaining public don’t care about what’s going on in other orgs or worldwide scn, just in their own “advancement”, whatever they consider that is. The Sea Org is an insolated community and might still have aspirations of planetary clearing.
. . . a large part “doesn’t” care. . . ? The idea of Scientology as a group of people united in a common cause may be a thing of the past.
I wonder what Crowley would think of Hubbard’s and now Miscavige’s sea org. A group of people accepting a role of service to a more elite group.
From my limited study of Crowley and the OTO it seems he didn’t put any emphasis on planetary changes. Maybe he did but I didn’t come across it. It was more like a brotherhood of people seeking power and ability and they were requested or required to help each other.
(The topic Did include “power”, didn’t it?)
Interesting question, Richard. I don’t know. However, we do know Crowley had a low opinion of Hubbard. Miscavige would probably be considered like a flea.
Miscavige is much more like a tick than a flea. It’s a bloodsucking affair much more that a back biting ordeal!
Hubbard might have had a low opinion of Crowley. Crowley put together a package but didn’t push it as hard as Elron did his. (That was a trivial defense of dead Hubbard.)
I think that Crowley intended to cultivate something like an elite of people freed from the restrictions of morals and emotions, given enhanced abilities and able to exercise their will and power. I think Hubbard very much followed in his footsteps, as have Scientology and now Miscavige. I think that Crowley would continue to think Hubbard an idiot, but admire how he at least found a clever way to cultivate a following of voluntarily enslaved followers to first enrich him, and then to perpetuate his legacy. Along those lines, I think that Scientology may in some ways be intended to be a sort of magical spell intended to “flow power” to Hubbard and propel him into an even more powerful new incarnation.
I don’t think that Hubbard, and ultimately Scientology, are really that much focused on actual planetary change, except as an “acceptable truth” facade in pursuit of a world where a few “big beings” are free to act and exercise their will, unhampered by the morals and feelings of common men. In this way it is similar to the communist regimes – that, ironically, Hubbard singled out and attacked – which offered a presumption of a new world and a “new man” (“homo novis” in Scientology) but instead delivered a system where the masses got little and a few “first among equals” enjoyed the privileges.
That’s a bit of a rough picture painted with a broad brush, but it captures the essence of my understanding and perspective, and I’d be interested to hear what anyone including you, George, has to comment about it.
Here are a couple of random thoughts. After a nor’easter yesterday I need to go dig out from eight inches of snow. At least the sun is shining.
I like your overall assessment, PM. I would use voluntary servitude in place of enslavement which would be a less bitter pill to swallow than enslavement for someone getting out of the sea org and getting a perspective on their scn experience. Magic spell might be described as Hubbard’s mastery of rhetoric and persuasion which drew many people in. People continue to read and listen to his words.
I was looking at the sea org and relating it to a show I watched about the Great Pyramid of Egypt. (idle thoughts while watching the snow pile up yesterday) In order for it to be completed in the length of time that it was, it had to be assembled in terms of blocks per MINUTE. Some archeologists surmised that due to the scale ot the project it couldn’t have been built by slave labor. I was thinking about that in terms of a prison of belief back then.
A while back someone posted this which shows Crowley’s levels of attainment and probably shows where Elron got his idea of a Bridge. My snow shovel awaits me.
http://www.ordoaa.org/onestar.htm
PeaceMaker and Richard,
My interpretation of Thelema includes the idea of the “big being” maker. I think that is where Hubbard was placing himself all along. The Sea Org members and the public were looked down upon by whatever Hubbard defined as himself. As I recall in Thelema, it is all about character building so it is interesting that Hubbard put character somewhere at the top of his bridge.
May be a thing of the past? The cult is doomed! Doomed, I tell ya!
I see Scamology as the Hindenburg ” In flames , broken in half but not quite hit the ground yet , that is moments away ” Oh The Humanity !!!!! —- NOT “
So does no one inside the bubble realize that only 5,000 people having done Super Power, reveals something about the size and state of Scientology that flies in the face of all the claims about unprecedented “expansion”?
Back in the days when I was in the SO, I remember being told at events that we basically were taking over entire countries with Scientology and that we had achieved explosive expansion across the boards, with big fanfare and standing ovations yet we were always so downstats and were doing group lower conditions year after year. so yes, the people inside the bubble know it but you can never tell that openly and especially in promotion to the public.
How many of the ‘completions’ were done by staff and Sea bOrg? Normally, everyone pays, but staff have to test the processes and submit to other experiments.
Are there really over 5 thousand Sea bOrg and full time Staff? In actual multi-level marketing companies, that overhead would be fatal. I suppose if you pay them nothing, they are not a liability.
If Price, Waterhouse and Coopers ever audited any $cieno numbers, I would faint. And then I would laugh my ass off when the audit numbers showed massive fraud.
Yes, good estimates are that there are 3,000 to 3,500 Sea Org left, plus easily 1,500 or more full-time staff – not counting all the part-timers or volunteers that the orgs claim to make their stats look better. Scientology has amazing personnel overhead, which is part of why the members each end up being squeezed for so much money, and yet the Sea Org and staff get paid very little.
The CofS is of course greedy and padding its reserves and property assets, but I figure that just paying all their personnel minimum wage (and associated taxes) would add something in the ballpark of $100 million per year to their costs, and probably result in their starting to actually lose money. I think John P.’s estimate is that they are currently generating about $50 million a year over expenses, which is then going into building their wealth, so that could be completely turned around if they weren’t getting away with essentially using human trafficked labor.
Numbers themselves don’t lie, only those that quote and report them. This is one of the better examples of the lies Scientology puts out there. All the numbers they quote earlier of massive expansion, straight up and vertical stat graphs, massive expansion etc are all bald faced lies. The cows have really come home with Scientology. Their own promo exposes the very essence of the criminal scam it is. It has gone way past the point of labelling a Scientologist as a criminal, even though they promote fraud. Instead they truly have no idea of the fair-tale land their minds are programmed to accept as reality and they exist is some sort of fantasy so far fetched it is incredibly sad that they unknowingly suck up such abuse believing all the while they are being set free from the travails of life – it is exactly the opposite. They promote their own illness.
Scio management and the legal manipulation team keeping them afloat is another matter entirely, for them handcuffs are required asap. Alas, the world has gone pretty much numb to the many types of atrocities foisted off upon the life on it. It would restore a great deal of confidence in the human condition if cults like Scientology were acted upon and prosecuted by the system that is responsible for our welfare. That’s my dream.
I think the numbers for the scientology app are telling also.
On the Google play store there are aprox 10,000 downloads. That number could represent ANYONE interested in scientology, those in and those eagerly waiting the implosion.
However, the number of positive reviews has been sitting at 1,200 or so. Negative review numbers seem to constantly be changing.
Apple app store shows 594 reviews. Total.
Evidently clams prefer android devices.
Between two major sources for $cn dissemenation less than 2000 were involved enough to positively review the app.
Are staff and Sea Org allowed smart phones?
Everyone I know in U.S. mainland under 70yrs old has a smartphone. Less than 2000 positive reviews says a lot to me about the true numbers of kool-aid drinkers left in the cult.
“Negative reviews seem to constantly be changing.”
I’d think they delete them on a regularly basis.
“And wait until you find out who the 5000th completion was!”
Gosh, I wonder who?!
Tom Cruise? [Come on Tom, stop being so shy. Stop being so ‘Minus 8’], newly minted OT VIII Kirstie Alley?
Marty Rathbun, as part of his ‘Coming Out’ party? ‘Slappy’ Dave Miscavige himself perhaps [Last seen on the cans somewhere around OT IV. Is this guy actually a Scientologist?].
They won’t invite me to the party, will they?
Can you bring dip and chips?
Can I come as a ” tag along ” ?
What is the average cost of Super Power?
The building scam bilked $225,000,000 out of the cult members over 20 years of scamming…..until Luis Garcia went CLEAR and figured out the scam and exposed it.
Slappy Blackheart Miscavige aka David Miscavige – current dictator – was forced to open up Stupid Powerz….which cost anywhere from $5,000 for a run around the pole until you manufacture a “win” to $1,000,000 where you guess what the crap is on the oily table.
anyway you cut it – ALL of Scientology is nothing but a huge RIP OFF disguised as a religion and hides behind the religious cloak.
Your last paragraph lays it all out. It’s Rip Off City.
Hubbard: If the GI is low, fix it with Scientology. Do not sell postcards or engage in FUNDRAISING.
I wonder how many of those 5,000 completions are people redoing it, either because they didn’t get it the first time or because they’ve just been gulled into believing something magical will happen if they do it now. The concept of redoing this is a little crazy. It’s possible that some people would see the value in redoing the Purif to get rid of all those (imaginary) drug residues. But how much better are your perceptics going to be after another go-round with the oiliness table and the smell wall?
Nice to see that this number jibes pretty well with my estimate of about 17,000 active cult members (I had been saying 15,000 but got some photos of WISE conventions in Russia and some events in Taiwan that make me think I had underestimated membership there. By the way, I know all about the tricks to inflate numbers in audience shots; these were rows of people on stage, which are a little harder to fake.
I doubt there are many “redo’s” in this total. Some for sure, but not like other services.
Generally, the idea of “redoing” a level is due to two pitches:
1. This is a “new.better” version that had been messed up by others, and now is “standard”.
2. Because of 1 above, you did not receive the gains for “Grade X” because you were not properly “set up” for it. Go back and re-do (Purif, Objectives, Grades, Solo auditor training etc etc) and progress through the steps needed to get back to this level and then you will have truly amazing gains.
Almost everything has been redone now. Miscavige is not going to announce that he has redone the Grades or Objectives or Purif as he made a big ballyhoo about how he had done it the first time. He will not admit that he messed it up when he redid it, even if it means extra income (he COULD sell this, scientologists will buy anything — even “we found a hidden letter from LRH in a tree and this explained a further breakthrough on the grades we never had before). Even the OT Levels now are “Golden Age of OT”.
He cannot come out with a “new” Super Power, so there’s not much left.
Eventually he is going to do a “new” KTL and that will be the next big thing to guarantee planetary clearing. After that will be a new LOC. Somewhere in between there will be a “new” Briefing Course — but so few people do it and the vast majority of it is Hubbard lectures that it’s a hard sell. He has some other random things up his sleeve “NEW L’s” (without explaining why they have been selling these things for $40,000 a pop for thirty years since Hubbard died and are just getting around to the “standard” version). But the cupboard is getting bare.
Sooner or later he is going to HAVE to come out with something that he calls OT IX and X. Whatever it may be… That’s the Big Bertha. If it works and people buy it, he has an unlimited future of “Hubbard tech” to release as Hubbard bragged he had researched through OT XXIII or something (even though he died of a heart attack, suffering pancreatitis and dysphasia).
Long response to a relatively simple question, but you often provide lengthy and fascinating comments here so trying to return the favor as it was an interesting question.
Scientology has figured out that people WANT to believe and will spend all of their money to be right…hence the regrading of the Bridge and other scamming fake / faux services.
If Scientology says they need to do something over again – they either do it or they sit in uncomfortable mental anguish until they cave in and pay again for the fake service….or get out and realize the entire thing is a scam.
The way Scientology is rigged – you will find some kind of “win” just to get out of the torture of auditing and training.
that is how it works.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. You’re right — it’s hard to create a “new” super power rundown, because there aren’t any semicolons mangled by SP transcriptionists.
I was trying to think of how they could have faked the stats, given that 5,000 completions in only 4 years dwarfs the track record for “10,000 on Solo NOTS” that they’ve been humping for years. And the Super Power is an expensive distraction from the main line bridge sequence, which presumably gives one more of those good ol’ super powers than getting in touch with your ability to sense the saline content of your cells.
The difference is that you cannot get onto Solo NOTs without completing all the way through OT V (NOTs).
Super Power you can get on ANYWHERE.
This is not seen as a “distraction” in the eyes of scientologists. For many this is a solution. They don’t have the money to get to OT VII for their “super powers”, but they are sold on the idea that they will attain “super powers” on “Super Power”. It’s pretty clever.
So its a double whammy; they’re not gonna get their super powers on Super Power, but when they don’t, they’ll be told they’ll get’em on VII. Once they get thru VII and don’t get’em, then there’s VIII…wow.
What do they tell the VIIIs?
There may be ways to PR another redo. How about Hubbard hinting somewhere … to be worked out … that while researching higher OT levels, Hubbard discovered the existence of additional ‘implants’ on a whole new level that dealt with clever ‘booby traps’ Xenu had left behind in those one has to address from the Clear Course up. And that’s why the no-case-gain phenomena. DM would have to get inventive. The point is, and lets face it, people who got into Scientology mostly wanted self improvement of some kind but they were also intrigued by the conspiratorial aspect of the whole thing … so more ‘conspiracy’ could go down well.
Here’s some tasty numbers to chew on JohnP: From Mike’s blog Jul 28, 2014 https://www.mikerindersblog.org/super-power-isnt-so-sooper/
From Super opening Nov 2013 to July 2014 – Flag claims 800 completions. That’s about 25 a week. It’s been 217 weeks since opening. If they were cranking at 25/wk since they’d have 5425 and that’s including this week. Now they’re boasting only 15/wk. If they’ve been averaging 15/week = they’d only have 3255. Just a little mid day snack for ‘ya. I seem to remember members grousing on social media about not being able to get a twin for Super Power as a consistent, long standing problem. If there was a consistent 15/week on SP, why would this be a problem?
Thanks. I was on the road when I wrote my comment yesterday, and didn’t have a chance to do out the division. Great perspective on yet another hole in the numbers.
First, a question: what does the superpower rundown usually cost people? And what do the typical hidden upcharges cost such as “setups” before one is allowed to start superpower itself?
Now a comment: back in the days of the ever-lasting fundraiser to build the building, I remember being outraged when I read the list of “benefits“ afforded to those who were donors to the project. I don’t remember the exact amount one had to give or all the goodies, but something like a $100,000 donation gave you a jacket, a few other trinkets, and “first in line to receive superpower and 50% off the suggested donation rates for superpower when it is released.”
I thought, why would they list that as a “benefit”? You just gave them 100k, and then they STILL charge you for the rundown!” It seemed like the better course of action would be to keep your hundred grand and then pay full rates and save a bunch of money because there was no way I was going to do it if it cost anywhere near 100k. And if the rundown were truly that amazing, all those people that were first in line to get it would be going out into the world, doing fabulous superpowery things, word of mouth would spread, and then maybe I’d get myself on the months-long waiting list.
Waiting list, LOL!
I think the hype for superpower was jacked up so high and for so long, that ANYONE who does now it is bound to be more than a little disappointed.
“Where would you feel safe?” Certainly not at Flag or in Scientology.
Here’s Mike article on Super Power prices.
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/all-posts/
Super Powers is such a scam.
Scientology is so clever on how to get people’s money and not give anything of actual value in return.
Scientology sells services where people have to pay up front and then sign contracts where they won’t sue Scientology if they have problems. The services are delivered by volunteers – who have to sign contracts too. Scientology charges outrageous fees for levels of awareness never obtained by any Scientologist – that amounted to anything of value.
Talk about a RIP OFF.
I want my money back!
It is all based on delusions of grandeur.
I’m glad I caught on when all the SCORES of clears around me had NONE of the Homo Novis powers promised by El Con Hubtard.
Well, Wyn, I can still elevate my hand and foot! If that’s not a Super Power I don’t know what is!
And there in lies the problem – you don’t know! But Scientology can help you with that, and there in lies a bigger problem. So round and round we go with nowhere to go while trying to “know.” Ahh… Hubbard’s brain child at work! Clever SOB hey?
You are one amazing motor scooter, I Yawn.
Trouble is: All those who are dedicated and active are too broke and haven’t the spare time to get to Florida.
OS, when I was about 9 I had a friend that would light his fartsto the amazment of all watching. That was more super power than I’ve seen of any scamologist. Your’s is good though too. 🙂
Now that’s Super Powers! I knew farts were good for something.
A really good one can “Clear” a room!
Five of them at once would be a Super Power!
What can you expect but a multitude of farts when you are on a daily diet of eating only rice & BEANS…
Beans beans they’re good for your heart
The more beans you eat,
The more times you’ll fart…..
The more times you fart
The better you’ll feel
So eat beans
At every meal…..
Just waking up in the morning I consider a Super Power !
On a different note I had a HUGE win watching Scientology TV last night. I was having trouble getting to sleep so I pulled up Scientology TV on my phone tried very hard to watch and I fell asleep within minutes and got a good nights sleep. Many thanks to LRH and COB.
So all I have to do is watch Scientology TV to get a good night’s sleep? Whoa! Sign me up!
LOL! But that is a super power that is cherished by all! Lucky you…..kind of! 🙂
To me that explains why cats eat grass every now and again.
Oy! If you only knew!
Not that kind of grass, OSD.
So that,s the answer to a good nights sleep , Watch Scamology TV , I,m getting noddy already ! zzzzzzzz
From 1978, when “Super Power” was first hyped, until today…is 40 years.
Scientology’s attrition rate is horrendous.
5000 completions is totally beyond pathetic.
About that 5000 completions number – the running around a pole program – Orwellian title “Cause Rundown” – is sold as something you can do over and over. It’s technically not in the overall Super Power package, so there’s something Fort Homicide guests can do for under $1 Million. Still expensive for just running – not even a fitness machine involved. Each time will count for a completion of course.
“…it was actually designed to bring “dead” staff back to life and make them productive again.” That’s quite polite. Staff were dead alright – due to torturous, inhumane daily abuse, many on RPF – and wanted to leave in droves. “Productive again” refers to further torture by pole running until you are crazy enough to change your mind and stay. This is what the Scientology whales are paying big bucks for today. I paid for it with a disability from the experience but thankful everyday it didn’t work – I escaped.
Then there’s always a long list of preps to do for any major magic package being sold and each will be counted as a completion. Staff have to be dumpster diving for stats these days. I view the 5000 Super number like the SOLO NOTS numbers and OT 7 and Clear #’s. Everyone’s had to buy into Do Overs – over and over as a solution to members disappearing faster than a roll of toilet paper in Sea Org berthing. Knowing Sci math, 5000 more likely 2000 Super Power package plus 3000 in Cause repeats and set ups.
That’s what I was thinking. Somehow I think 5000 involves counting steps as completions. I don’t think it means individuals. Hope you are healed up 🙂
“Fort Homicide”. Thank you for my late afternoon laugh!
Len, they’ve always been pathetic. Scientology IS make believe.
It’s a pity they don’t take monopoly money.
If only….
Which token on the board would they be ? , wouldn’t be the sports car — that would on broken down and on fire …… I know , one of miscavage beating on some hapless member maybe ?
And speaking of super powerz and at the risk of getting something we all might cringe at ……….. where the hell is Eff Pee?
I wonder if Dave put him/her/it into lowers over the last flap.
Yo Dave,
Ya gonna let Eff Pee come out and play today? You OSA bots have got to be getting hammered reading the blogs day in and day out …………. not to mention yerself good buddy.
Ah well, another day in the life of a dwindling cult. Circle the wagons and refresh yer quivers Dave.
Newcomer – SP is the EP of Scientology!
I agree Hole heartedly!
I’m half hearted on it.
OSD …..somewhat better than being half “azz ed” on it…..me thinks
Me thinks, too.
Groan/laugh; groan/laugh, groan/laugh…help please make it stop!
Don,t do that , This too much heart felt fun
First hole I ever fell up from.
What’s FP?
Cat, I have no f***ing idea.
Foolproof ……. see below. He/she/it has trouble with the joking and degrading attitudes floating about ……. because we are only fooling ourselves!
““FP only deigns to comment when there is less gleeful foolishness than currently being stated. FP does not need to comment when fools are already doing a good job of fooling themselves and others!”
Well that really puts us in our place! Glad to see you are lurking though, I was starting to worry about you.
FP says (via his super model RTC secretary in Heaven, with immaculate black uniform and perfect coiffure): “Thou art fortunate to receive a comment from on High as these bleating stories down playing success generally do not arouse my ire! My interest is only aroused when fools manifest the symptoms of Misunderstood Words in HCOBs, for I am indeed, the bane of the Unbelievers and the Misunderstood Word! Never summon me again for I will send Lucifer down to thee with a completely made-up bogus OTVIII as punishment for thine (?) foul deeds (overts and withholds for the uninitiated).”
Immaculate-looking secretary (who looks like Heidi Klum) contacts FP on the office intercom and says: “Excuse me Lord, I don’t wish to be profane, but you have already sent these CSOHB the “OTVIII” “HCOB”. Unfortunately they believed it and thus didn’t dare run the processes in case they, er, ahem, spontaneously combusted. Perhaps you might think of some other abject nonsense to plague them with? Locusts for instance?” FP replies: “Thank you Letitia, but they have already enough to be getting on with. What are your stats? Take a memo.”
Maniacal laughter heard first off-stage… followed by a stentorian voice and rolling thunder in the clouds saying (with a few thunderbolts thrown at transgressors for good measure): “FP only deigns to comment when there is less gleeful foolishness than currently being stated. FP does not need to comment when fools are already doing a good job of fooling themselves and others! FP should not be disturbed or summoned capriciously – on pain of a trip to the MAA to get one’s filthy and disgusting withholds off, running OTIII without a meter on one’s back porch and having enormous headaches from misunderstood words! Bow down now and OBEY, or forever be doomed to spontaneously combust when reading silly made-up versions of OTVIII!”
Idiot! It’s not just your state of being……..it is also your reputation! Go figure!
I’d say it’s time for proud Mattie Feshback to go in for a tune up.
Yo Dave,
Are you going to offer Super Refreshers for those with the edge taken off? You might also want to offer supper refreshers for staff since they get no benefits from doing the SP thingy.
“… Super Refreshers for those with the edge taken off.”
Either that or he’ll “find” some misplaced semicolons and wrong gauge washers that the SP’s put in on the Millenium Falcon super-duper perceptics machine, and have them redo it under The Even Betterer Goldener Age of Tech program.
Perhaps another redo will be needed for the oiliness table when they find out Dave burped up some of His excess Doubleyew Dee Forty during his last visit.
Thank you. Groan now mixed with Ewwww…
Ho. Hum. 🙂