More hilarity from the Razzerloonies…
From:
Sent: Saturday, February 07, 2015
To:
Subject: FW: THETA NEWS!
Thanks so much for forwarding this!
I just received this from the IASA! Cool news on the IAS funded Scientology dissemination campaign!
1 minute after the “Age of Answers” Scientology ad aired during the Superbowl half-time, the scientology.org website visits went from an average of 80 to 1,800!!!
And after the ad aired on Superbowl, there was a TON of buzz and feedback on social media. Here are some of the responses:
“It wouldn’t be Superbowl without a Scientology ad”
“The Scientology commercial was on point”
“Scientology… the best this year!! Well put together and CLASSY as usuall!!! GREAT JOB!”
“Scientology nailed it with yet another ad. Very impressive…”
“I know that every will be talking about one thing at work tomorrow. SCIENTOLOGY”
“I think we can all agree that Scientology was the big winner tonight”
“Scientology commercial better than any other commercials”
“Scientology happened on NBC. It was very effective.”
“Hey guys, I’ve decided to become a Scientologist.”
“That Scientology commerical just totally convinced me!!”
“The Scientology commerical is always my favorite part of the Super Bowl”
And starting tonight, from Saturday 9PM to Sunday 9PM, we have 24 hours of the You Tube home page take over, where our ad will be playing on the You Tube home page!!
And our ad is playing on the Grammy’s tomorrow night!!
It’s EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These guys actually buy this garbage?
They place an ad on TV and then get people to comment about it (no indication where these comments appeared — they might have just asked around in the IAS offices what Michael Roberts and Teddy Bragin and Kathy Feshbach thought of them).
Those comments are then regurgitated and they whip themselves into a frenzy about how AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! and EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is that “people” are saying such AMAAAZING things. “I’ve decided to become a Scientologist” — come on. If that ad convinced you of that then you probably DO have the IQ to hand over all your money. “The Scientology commercial is always my favorite part of the Super Bowl.” Bwahahaha. “I think we can all agree that Scientology was the big winner tonight.” Oh, I thought it was the New England Patriots….
Hold the phones — one of our readers has just pointed out that she saw some of the tweets. They were real. And TOTALLY SARCASTIC. It’s the problem when you take yourself too seriously and are constantly hammered to be literal in everything.
Even funnier. They have turned snark into “praise” and are basking in it.
And they spend millions on ads and practically have a self inflicted orgasm over the claim that the scientology.org website visits went from an average of 80 to 1,800.
1800? An hour? A day? At one time?
Whatever time period this is, it is pathetic. And they are jumping up and down about it? 1800 people? Do the Razzerloonies realize that their wonderful scientology.org site STILL gets less traffic than Tony Ortega’s BLOG?
And, according to Alexa today, here are some website rankings (lower numbers are better):
WORLD RANK US RANK
Scientology.org 128,468 31,370
Psychiatry.org 119,781 27,980
Mormon.org 34,852 16,223
Marijuana.org 39,566 12,260
The magnificent scientology web presence is being smoked by the psychs, the Mormons and the dopers.
Taking the planet by storm. Tipping the balance of the “theta/entheta” ratio. An era of epic/monumental/milestone expansion.
It’s all just a wet dream.
In science, if u could see that a god could or could have existed than literally anything is possible. Think about it… i have. And I know how scientificly; that it is possible with out a doubt, and therefore literally anything is possible. Again think about it. Any questions hmu. Milkjayson@yahoo
There are a couple of people at the top of the Razzie food chain who decided to take these tweets out of context and disseminate them to the public as ‘truth’. Most Scientologists do not fact check on the internet because of obvious reasons and this communication in meant for them.
This is what is known as the “Theta Lie”. Theta Lies are used by staff (public and S.O. alike), to forward the aims of Scientology. They know they are lying but justify it in that they are bringing (or keeping) people in Scientology so it’s okay. It’s an example of the end justifies the means (lying), through false propaganda. These people know exactly what they are doing. They are not stupid or dumb, necessarily but showing their religious zealotry colors.
But Pepper, don’t you think they still end up looking like pathetic idiots to the media, who in turn are happy to shout out to the world each and every detail of the church’s tricks gone lame, in a modern free society (that does not subscribe to net-nanny… wtf)?
Doesn’t CO$ understand that the damage they do to themselves with stunts like this, is going to override any success they have in continuing to fool their own?
The media knows “it’s alright to report on the the evil deeds of the Church of Scientology now”. The media no longer feels the need to act like CHICKEN SHITS!… oh sorry, sorry, I’m trying not to have outbursts like that (deep breath)… no longer going to act like GUTLESS PAWNS…. ack!.. I’m going to cut my losses and sign off for the night. Maybe I will have a better attitude tomorrow.
Yeah, Gooooo Mormons! Kickin’ Co$’s ASS in the web rankings! LOL ( FYI – LDS Church really has a far more professional social media presence…puts CO$ to shame)
The Mormons do TV ads but stop when it comes to Super Bowl ads. So in that respect, the Mormons are more tasteful than the C of $ who look like they are a business and are so over the top in throwing money around that they can afford ads at the Super Bowl.
I thought self pleasuring was illegal in Scn. I’m confused now.
Good one Hallie Jane! It’s illegal in Scn unless you pony up money for 3 or more intensives to run the overt of self pleasuring, and in that case it’s all fine and good.
GAFAAAaaa! Dang Hallie, spewed my morning tea. Your comment was the first notification in my mailbox. Something tells me today is going to be interesting.
1,800! Yes folks, we are witnessing the effects of Super-Power!
Let’s be really really generous here, and not demand clearing the planet, or even this country. Let’s say that if they clear 15% of the population of this country, things will be really rolling along quite nicely. So if they clear 50% of that 1800 (half of them are probably clear or above already), it will take only 56,568 more superbowls to get the job done!
Thank you David Miscavige for spending the IAS dollars on the Super Bowl Ad.
You are helping “Going Clear” book sales and movie tickets reach epic growth. Most book stores are SOLD OUT! The Libraries can’t keep the books stocked on the shelves. Orders of magnitude are being placed as we speak.
Scientology – America’s little ISIS.
Crimes are hidden from member’s view. All done behind the Religious Cloak.
If Slappy Miscavige has more time and enough rope to hang himself – he will be putting real heads on pikes and killing overtly rather than covertly.
Leader of Scientology, Mr. David Miscavige is getting ideas from ISIS. (Remember – the ole man said “CRIMS think alike).
He will kidnap members in good standing and BDA (Bitter Defrocked Apostates) and hold them for ransome because is out of $piritual stuff to $ell.
Rember – LRH says “Get the Show on the Road”….
When I first read in this post the part about people seeing the ad and deciding to try Scientology, the first thing I thought was, “yeah, right. These people must be being sarcastic”. And obviously they are. And it IS funny that the COS would take this sarcasm literally and actually re-publish it. But then I got to thinking, “Are they that stupid”? …maybe not. I would not be surprised if they knew that these statements are sarcasm, but chose to publish them verbatim because, hey, they are real quotes and they can’t be accused of making them up or mis-quoting anyone, can they? And the bubble dwellers will never know because they get all their news and information from COS publications and places like TheRazzLine anyway. However, in actuality, everyone is not quite as gullible as David Miscavige would like to believe that they are. A certain percentage of the sharper bubble dwellers will pick up on the ruse and quietly make plans to head for the exits.
And the exodus continues.
This blog has been hilarious today! Valerie had a good Gibney tweet she mentioned and I saw another one to put on here, so thanks for the link TrevAnon, that’s where I saw it. I love when Gibner lets go of some wicked twitter snark. He’s pissed off and that’s no surprise, is it now? I luuurve watching the media slamming it back to ’em for a change. Here’s the tweet:
Alex Gibney @alexgibneyfilm Jan 30
If u google Lawrence Wright, the first hit is the Scientology attack ad against him. This is tax-exempt?
#goingclear https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=lawrence+wright … (end)
Ooooooof! Was that below the belt or what? HA! Take that Miscavige you big demented ughghg. I can’t even think of a word low enough to describe YOU MISCAVIGE! Demented circus monkey! Yeah, I stole that from ‘King of Queens’ so I’ll thank Leah Remini for that one!
What other religion has ever made a Super Bowl commercial? My guess in none. Of course, that would not matter if the ad had been effective. DM had to know that this ad would be a flop.
I read those tweets and immediately knew they were sarcastic. These guys must not get out much. They don’t even know how people speak and joke these days.
Taking the old mindset I used to have, that ad was great
(mystery sandwich etc) but now after all these years it
was just weird. So of course it was just made for the
bubble dwellers. Checking with some never ins none of
them got anything out of it. No interest and no just wanting
to know what it was all about. Just strange. Does the
Scientology marketing not pilot these commercials on
wogs? Guess there are no marketing guys there really. Does
DM put them together from his own head?
Anyway it was a GREAT game so who cares.
Well, it’s been assumed that all of the Super Bowl ads were aimed at the clubbed seals, because someone (you know who) has some very solid reports that there are disaffecteds who are wondering exactly what the IAS actually does with the money, and here’s a way to show them that causes no real harm to what’s important, namely their bank balance. It’s a typically cynical move from DM, and shows everyone who knows how to look exactly what he thinks of his own flock, that they’re easily-manipulable morons.
Jeg er København.
The whales will be very financially astute people and will know full well what happens to the IAS money. They can see past the hype about helping people all over the world. They know full well why the IAS will never open its books to inspections. Even when all the Orgs were bursting to the seams in the late 70’s and money was gushing in from the sale of auditing and training, they were actually accumulating a loss because this was mostly money in advance such that should the money tap ever be turned off, they could never actually deliver that training and auditing they they were paid to give. All that money was spent on just keeping the missions and Orgs running. Now, in 2015, they have vast expensive property that is not even one tenth in use for auditing and training if the occupancy of the course rooms and auditing rooms were averaged over a two year period. The Church can only break even if, on average, the occupancy is near 100%. With the occupancy being closer to 10% then the whales all know and understand that it is their donations to the IAS (mainly) and other fundraising projects (like the SuperPower building where they collected 10x what was spent on it) that is keeping the Church running and paying its bills for maintenance, poperty taxes, utility bills, fake navy uniforms, berthing, beans and rice, and ferrying Sea Org staff around all over the planet. The whales don’t care how many millions they give out so long as they still have plenty for luxuries. Giving their excess millions away to keep the Church running gives them the greatest joy and satisfaction. It is more than the selfish people doing training and receiving auditing are doing, who are actually running up a loss for the Church and “taking” rather than “giving”. When the top IAS members attend these Gala dinners, they listen to all the achievements and the millions being helped and they just smile. It is the expected banter that makes them feel good. They do not want David Miscavige to tell the truth and humbly thank them for giving them the money just to keep the show on the road because he totally fucked up the Tech and killed it. They already know that – it can remain unsaid. What the whales want at these glitzy gatherings is a good time and to hear stories of millions being helped, so they can go home afterwards feeling good.
No, the whales are not stupid. They know what that IAS money is for. Some of the more astute whales will know that this has been the situation for at least the last ten years.
Int marketing was decimated (read “holed”) years ago (not that they were “in touch” with the real world anyway) by Dave ” know best” Miscavmistake.
All of this and absolutely anything else is personally approved by him. Usually after many rejections , cramm orders, and compliance submissions or taken over by someone picking up the pieces from the person who became an “ethics particle (and God knows SO members love to come down on anyone who has “let the team down” they are incredibly vicious).
So Karma bites, no wikkas Dave it’s all on you.
“Even funnier. They have turned snark into “praise” and are basking in it.”
Their only acceptable appropriate proud self-acknowledgement to not get in trouble with their totalitarian thought control rule.
Scientologists attain delusion, they don’t attain OT powers.
OT means acquired megalomania.
Right on point Chuck, as you usually are!
I think it must be my warped sense of reality but what $cn does at the Superbowl reminds me of true WW2 story. It goes something like this:
Somewhere in Nth Africa a young British Lieutenant surveys no man’s land after a night mission. Under the cover of darkness they laid telegraph wire to new forward positions. At one low point in the ground they propped up the wire with a stick to go over some obstacles.
Well, next morning the Germans apparently noticed the “stick” and didn’t know what it was but it wasn’t there yesterday so they shelled the hell out of it.
Next morning another stick was stuck up in no-man’s land and the German’s shelled that to oblivion, this went on for weeks.
When eventually asked what he was doing, the young Lieutenant replied, “those are German 88s and they cost about 75 pounds a shot so by my reckoning we’re just cost the Germans about 300,000 pounds.
$cientology has nothing going for it but money, but everything is relevant. Any hunter knows the best weapon is patience, enjoy the show, it’s not going to last forever.
A bit off topic and a few days old, but the Hollywood press keeps re-running the same Masterson interview about HBO… I guess he speaks for Scientology, because no one else is doing it? This quote is similar to many running in current Hollywood mags, blogs, press, etc…
“Second generation Scientologist Danny Masterson Defends Scientology, Tells Detractors to “F— Yourself”
In fact, Masterson said he “has no problem” talking about Scientology. I love doing it,” he said. “I work, I have a family and I’m a spiritual being who likes to understand why things happen in the world and want to learn more so that I can have them not affect me adversely. So if that’s weird, then, well, you can go f— yourself.”
Apparently some things are happening in Scientology which might adversely affect Danny’s career that he should understand? Do you think? Naw….. HBO/Gibney are just the lunatic fringe. They are nuts.
Like the guy driving home and his wife calls and says she just heard on the news that some nut is driving the wrong way on the expressway and he frantically replies, “One guy? There are hundreds of them!”
Yup, the world is nuts Danny. Riiight.
Yo Dave, since sarcasm tech hasn’t been drilled in the church yet (save that for GAT III), and the few remaining scis probably think the ad was the best thing ever, I suggest you put together as your next dissemination project (drum roll) a Scientology Super Bowl Half-Time Show!!! Get Chill EB and the Jive Aces to perform, and instead of Katy Perry’s sky blue sharks, get the Squirrel Busters in their sky blue t-shirts and GoPros to be dancers! And the floor crowd will be OSA members who clap and cheer wildly (or else). And you can get Jenny Devocht, Marc Yager, and Dave Bloomberg to videotape the audience for anyone who isn’t clapping or cheering and call them losers and asking them why they aren’t doing anything to help the planet. And since the world really, really wants to see you, he who runs this planet, you can close it off by singing We Stand Tall!
No need to thank me. I do this for free Dave. You’re welcome.
Another great idea for a half-time Super Bowl show. Combine this with Michael Fairman’s idea above – Super Super Bowl show.
Now that would be some funny shit!
Now THAT I’d pay to see! LOL
One more comment. Soon, very soon, Jimmy Fallon or some other sharp comedian with a highly rated show, will ask, “If Scientology has ten million members, where are they?” Those ten million pesky Scientologists have to be somewhere.
Where? 9 million 900 hundred thousand are in the FUTURE. Scientologists deal in FUTURE’s, not the past or PT. C’mon man, adjust your govenor and aim higher with those postulates.
Doug, hmm, you knew I was joking and I do not believe there are 10 million members of the Church of Scientology hiding in the alleys of NYC, or anywhere else, right?
That’s simple. The missing 10,000,000 Scientology members are with Shelly.
According to the logic that equates sarcastic remarks about Scientology with a boom in church support, this blog, the Underground Bunker and at least six more anti-CoS blogs constitute an amazing 47x growth in church support because there are sarcastic remarks on these blogs EVERY DAY, 24 HOURS A DAY!
From: Warhorse
Sent: Saturday, February 14, 2015
To: Mike Rinder’s blog
Subject: More Theta News!
Hey, positive feedback from our Super Bowl football ad just keeps pouring in! Here’s just a randem sampel of Face Book comments, and other social mediums, including the latest twixts sent from peoples’s i phone cellular devices… :
“I don’t know a thing about Scientology, but I have to say, that that ad, was, without a doubt, the most uptone, in-valence, in-tech, on-policy, pan-determined create that has ever entered my universe!!”
“Wow! That commercial on the TeleVision was literally dynamite!! And yes, I do mean dynamite; and no, that is not an exaggeration. Or, contrariwise, put in other but equally valid terms, those Scientologists, under the strong yet loving guidance of their ecclesiastical leader, MR. DAVID MISCAVIGE, have scored yet another home run!!”
“The most striking take-away that I took away from that commercial was how Alex Gibney and Lawrence Wright, nor the entire team at HBO, relied on the long-since-disproven babbling a of the same few thousand bitter defrocked apostates they always listen to, yet failed to interview EVEN ONE of the literally tens of Scientologists we– i. e.,they (the bona fide spiritual religion of Scientology)– made available. Shame on HBO!”
More good news to follow!!!!!!
Bravo, War Horse.
ROFL!! It’s people like you who make my day 😀
that’s funny.
the kicker is still-ins can’t really take those kinds of comments as entheta.
During the Super Bowl, I also enjoyed these ads:
“Communism: it’s not your parent’s totalitarianism anymore.”
And who could forget:
“ISIS, remaking the world, one head at a time.”
My point is that “Scientology” is not the damaged brand those in the church uneasily suspect it has become, prompting staff members to do “successful actions” such as anonymous Craig’s List ads to try to recruit new people.
No, Scientology is not a damaged brand. It is a destroyed brand.
Thus, its continued use only makes those saying the world as if it’s a good thing look misguided at best. And it’s downhill from there.
The only hope for Hubbard’s Tech to be taken seriously in the future is to expunge all reference to the poisonous word, Scientology. Yet, Hubbard forbade any such thing ever happening.
It’s a built-in booby trap catch-22 from which “Scientology” can never recover.
Well, LRH also forbade combining Orgs but that didn’t stop Miscavige. I think you ought to propose that to DM, John Doe. He’d probably like the idea, as well as getting rid of the name “L. Ron Hubbard.”
Well said. Those commercials are the embarrassing outward manifestation of someones delusion that Scientology is anything more than a laughing stock or the object of wide social ridicule and butt of Late Night Talk show jokes. Game over Miscavige, someone please tell him when he gets tired of playing with his train set?
Doug, Miscavige will acknowledge “game over” when enough whales stop giving him money, or, if enough prominent celebs go public against the cult.
Come on, ladies and gentlemen. you know the Super Bowl would be just another pre-season football game without a Scientology ad. Rumor has it that David Miscavige will be invited to perform in next years half time ceremonies. backed by the OSA Tabernacle Choir, with individual performances by Danny Masterson, Jim Mesikimen and Kirstie Alley. And that’s not all. My sources also tell me that the marketing team will receive honorary Super Bowl rings. Wait, there’s more! Endless loop videos of the last five Scientology Super Bowl ad are to be placed as a permanent exhibition in the football Hall of Fame! That would be majestically incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! That would garner a HUGE audience, Michael. People can’t help themselves but to look over at a train wreck.
One of the funniest posts I have read! He would if he could!
“OSA Tabernacle Choir”. Still laughing, Mr. Fairman.
Yes Michael, and they’ll loop the OSA Tabernacle Choir on the KCET Studio TV station they are putting together at the KCET Studios they just bought. Just think, propaganda 24/7 on that channel, the stuff just keeps coming.
LOL Michael Fairman! Too funny.
The ad is for the members still drinking the kool-aid. They wait all year to see their dollars being spent on what they told it would be spent on. Slappy can get it over with with the one ad each Superbowl. The clubbed seals love it.
The truth is that members will read comments on Twitter and other Social Media and sink a little lower on the Spiral Down Stage to Nothingness that is Scientology. Nothing is changing in Scientology except it shrinks each and every year.
The members left are some of the most righteous religious zealots there are on this planet. I am afraid they have gone down with the sinking ship.
Scientology – stick a straw in it – cuz a fork won’t work. It is past DONE!
You all know, it’s so weird that the scion appeals at all to the liberal holly weird crowd. Homosexuality as a perversion, no master action, no premarital sex, no cheating, drugs or rock and roll.
they’re really scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
it’s getting harder and harder for them to come up with positive news.
their numbers would be very impressive if the population of the planet was 234.
you can drop nuclear bombs and not kill a scientologist…….not because they’re bomb proof but because there are so few.
🙂 Also, they’ve done the Purif (ten times) and are immune to radiation.
The cockroaches will have some company, for a while anyway.
Funny WhiteStar
I do wonder what their world ranking would be if you took out the paid hits from India.
+1 Les. It looks like even the Indian people can’t stand the sight of the site anymore with only 1,800 hits.
Most of these people probably know that it is BS. I just followed a FB friends search where I looked up a bunch of LA area scio’s and followed who their friends were. I found about 30 profiles of people whom I recognized. Not a single one of them mention scn on any part of their page. One of them (who recently posted on this blog under an assumed name and indicated they were out of scn) is friends with many. Including some scn celebs. The bottom line that I took away is that these people are not active. They don’t want to lose their friends They therefore are waiting for the other guy to announce first that they are leaving. It’s all pretend.
Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!
All-ie All-ie In Come Free!! Games over!
That’s encouraging to hear, John Locke. Makes sense to me also, what you’ve described as the limbo of many of the Still Ins. I did the same thing for a few years before I left. I kept my head down, made no waves, pretended to be on board, all the while reading everything on the net I could get my hands on, and quietly easing myself out the door.
Yes Aquamarine I was encouraged too as ALL of them where OT 5 or higher. All old timers and most ex Cl V staff. In other words, the back bone of Scn in the LA area.
Up here in the Great Northwest were still a bit suicidal after the Super Bowl…I want to know: Where are all those Volunteer Ministers when you really need them, huh? I mean we just suffered thru the most horrible Group Engram, like, ever…and where are those Yellow Shirted saviors??? We could have used, like, a big Group Locational after the game: Look at that Mountain. Good. Look at that tree. Good…you know it took us all weeks before we could even turn on Sports Center for gods sake…
I’ll vouch for this. Monday, the day after the Super Bowl, was a day of mourning in our area.
🙂 Very funny, Andy; I’m surprised anyone up there has yet to turn on Sports Center – too restimulative. Where’s that yellow shirt when you need ’em.
Pete Carroll was on Pysch drugs during the game man, didn’t you know that?
Andy and Rachel; Now I get it! The Church places their ad at half-time in the Super Bowl because each year millions of locks and secondaries needing to be audited out are created in the cases of the fans for the losing side. Its at half-time when they start getting keyed in, see, but then, presto, there’s the ad, so there’s hope. Millions and millions of raw public stuck in anger and grief flood into Scientology orgs, demanding help! This is why every org needs to be Ideal. This is the solution to Planetary Clearing! That DM – wow, he is one smart dude.
I love Pete Carroll! One of THE best coaches in college and the pros. The 7 years he was at USC were some of THE best years we had. HOWEVER, seriously, the Seahawks are on the 1 yard line and you have a runner who can’t be stopped (with 3 chances to score) and you elect to pass the ball? Really?
Seahawks fans: I feel your pain.
I vaguely recall a PL called “Good works well publicised” (or maybe that was just the motto of another PR PL). Anyway, right now it looks like their modus operandi is “Anything (or anyspin) well publicised will do”. This is a textbook example to accompany the recent excellent article “The Great Divide” over at backincomm, where the Special Correspondent describes how any mass advertising will simply exacerbate the toxic PR for the CoS.
As I warm my hands by the fire of this church, I have to remind myself again and again that I sooo wanted good karma this life.
This is the worst promotion ever; do they actually know anything about marketing? To promote that you have an average of 80 (within whatever time) out of 7 plus billion in the planet, is like stating how poorly well known Scn is within common interest.
Not since Jefferson Hawkins escaped.
“The magnificent scientology web presence is being smoked by the psychs, the Mormons and the dopers.” Actually, they are about equal to the Flat Earth Society.
This could be catching on with other religions.
Like a Super Bowl Vatican “Pope Ad”, Mormon “Go for the Gusto”,
Rastafarian “we are smokin Mon ! “
You forget, what is true for you is true for you. This means Scientology memebers can tell themsleves that they are blowing the internet out of the water even when it is in fact not true. That is why Scientology is a cult
I lurv when they have some tiny thing happen that produces a stat bump and they end up getting so excited they accidentally publish the real stat range. Btw, thanks for the stat eval training, fucktards. It makes this so much more delicious.
The teeny tiny 1800 is awesome funny, but what really shows what giant, piece of shit losers they are is that their website gets 80 visitors (never mind the time frame Mike, tiny shitty stat is tiny.)
My favorite part is they paid a million+ dollars for an extra 1720 site looky-loos. That’s more than $581 a page hit. I bet 99% of those were scilons looking to see if the website was different or something. Miss Cabbage must be wiping her ass with dollar bills back at Casa Hemet Failfuck.
Good rant Sammy, LOL!
I wonder what kind of a spin they would put on this tweet?
“Scientology ad way worse than toenail fungus ad.”
There is also one that says if you saw the scientology ad and want to know more click here. The link is to Lawrence Wright’s book.
Alex Gibney’s puts in an appearance noting his film got a lot more free advertising.
I would like to pretend I was never one of the bleating sheep with blinders on the other side of the fence who could have misread those tweets (had Twitter existed when I was in) and believed they were good PR.
I was.
For those of you being forced to monitor this blog:
It’s not too late to escape. You’d be amazed how good sunshine feels.
I second that Valerie! I think we have found OT IX and X ……. right here on Mike’s blog! Where do we send our success stories?
With you on that one, Valerie! Ha Ha, Coop! I just finished BOTH OT IX & OT X sitting on the john. My wins are just fantastic! I really never knew what a bowel movement was until completing 9 & 10! I am completely exterior to my bowel movements now! I’d like to thank LRH for showing me how funny shit can be! I mean, who knew???
This is a little story about…
Prophets and Tyrants. Mar.26, 2012 (Orig., edited 12,2014)
Every now and then a prophet comes along that wants to rescue his fellow man from the spiral chute to oblivion and steps off it to preach to the zombies going by, most of which are glad to go to never never land once and for all however some manage to grab his hand and are saved from a hell known only to them, any way they are grateful and want to help too.
They bask in his light and feel the glory of love and compassion for others. The light splashes over them and some begin to assume that it must actually be them that are holier than the old guy. ‘Yes that must be it, can’t he see what’s wrong with “the others?
‘So then the wee one thinks I’m getting tired of being nice to everybody and I’m sick of wearing filthy robes when the old man’s is nice and clean all the time.’
‘When I get to be the boss I will do things my way’ he thinks to himself.
He does not know if the other acolytes feel this way too but he will watch his back anyway just in case.
Eventually the old prophet dies with a little help from the small one. Certain substances have been known to shorten emperors, philosophers, kings and holy men’s lives, its magic.
Before the body has even reached ambient temperature, an acolyte cock fight breaks out to see who is henceforth going to be the big Kahuna.
It looks like the man child with the tiny spirit wins with a little help from a few faithful goons. “Gong”, the fight is over, behold a new messiah is born.
He asserts his superiority over the others because he was first in line and tells them he has been given certain authority to carry out orders. He being small in mind and spirit manages to con some big good ole boys to protect him. The flocks grow bigger and he now has new clothes, special shoes, fine chariots and magnificent temples, palaces and monasteries and commands more respect now that he was “handpicked by thee prophet himself”.
He drags out his new throne made of bullet proof titanium and upholstered with tattooed skins donated by the congregation. Gold and precious stones adorn it flashing in the glare of the spotlights.
Behind him is a very large back lit screen with a picture of a slowly revolving galaxy for drama. Changing pictures of the future are rapidly flashed at the correct intervals and musical crescendos punctuate the divine message being delivered.
This chair is incredibly expensive and it has buttons and levers on it which will raise the chosen one well above the heads of the standing masses.
It even has a holographic halo with programmable mood colors that radiate up and out of the head rest and pulsate hypnotically above and around his head. A wave generator sets the proper tone level of the event and fluctuates with the message being given.
His polyester toupee glistens in the glow and his intense piercing eyes stab out from under serious hard brows and rake the crowd as the teleprompter is flawlessly read. His clear voice is cast over the disciples and each powerful message is met with unbridled cheering and long standing ovations
Powerful magic permeates the temple. People are seated only to rise up again to clap and cheer long and hard with knowing glances and deep understanding of the message… The crowd rises and falls like ocean waves with each carefully delivered promise.
The future is near and within grasping distance of greatness.
Epiphanies hang in the air to be plucked from the almighty one. Yea unto thee we are one in thought.
Individuals will have to sacrifice their liberty, material wealth, energy and time and even their bodies in order to save mankind from itself. This mind set is nothing new; it has been with us for millions of years, over and over and over.
Egypt, Atlantis, Babylonia, Assyria, Greece, Rome, Mexico, South America and hundreds of other great societies long forgotten have disappeared with hardly a trace save dirt mounds and mysterious stone structures that can’t be age dated.
And now it is time for the common man to follow suit and appease the tyrants and gods with small and continuous personal sacrifices mandated by the self-anointed few.
We can mind meld with the anointed one and conquer the world and earn our rightful place in the new world hierarchy of great rulers.
With open arms we will welcome the other great religious leaders of our time and bring them into our worldly temples.
Christians, Muslims, Jews, Chinese, new age religions, Liberals and even a few Republicans will join with us and celebrate the glorious concept of one world governance for the good of all mankind.
We will join with other human ungulates and bravely march forward to a new utopia.
But if they say it then IT must be true. How can you NOT believe? They wave the magic cans, tap the ruby slippers, close their eyes and when they open them again they will be in sciobot land. All their dreams will come true if they only believe!
My reply to (just a wog). Yes, I saw that. It was so funny. They were laughing about it on Tony’s blog too. Hysterical! I swear to dog! If this doesn’t beat anything I’ve ever seen in my life! Whew, good times.
Ah!!!! Just basking in snark!
Snarkfest 2015. BE THERE! Watch as cult members actually think the positive comments on their Super Bowl are REAL! Bwahahahahahahahahahahah…
ALL the “positives”, of course, came from the brain burned and then they count as “positive” response to the ad. And “the best of all the ads”? Oh, dear, truly waxing stupid.
Just search twitter for yourself: https://twitter.com/search?q=scientology%20ad&src=typd
Bahahaha!! Thanks for the link Trev. I usually look at only the “Scientology” search on Twitter, I hadn’t looked at “scientology ad” yet. There are some gems there. 🙂
Some seriously funny shit there…
One word, but Mike already said it… pathetic. Truthfully, seriously, severely, nauseatingly, disgustingly, moronically, ostensibly, stupendously, hideously, pathetic. Okay, well one word plus 9 adverbs.
I wouldn’t be surprised if $cientology, in no small part because of these idiotic Super Bowl commercials, becomes the butt of jokes for years to come; you know… um… after the media releases its tsunami of pent up rage and frustration at having been bullied into kowtowing to $cientology all these years. This will be soon, I am sure.
We can already see the tide slipping out beyond its usual distance. Oh no! And look! I can see $cientologists running into the emptying bay as if it’s some sort of special occasion and opportunity for them to be seen and heard (or more to the point, to make ridiculous spectacles of themselves). Somebody warn them! Oh forget it. It’s too late 🙁
Hey but wait! Let’s start shouting a warning to those hesitating on the shore. They might listen. I see some have even turned and are heading toward the mainland. Some have started running! Run! Yes run! Everybody run! Run for your life!
I think I can hear the roar of the in-coming wave! Oh my God! It sounds like a big’n. I don’t know if I can watch this (covers face with hands… um.. NOT). Oh I’m watching alright. I want to see every little detail! Yeah, I can be like that sometimes, especially this time. Pass me those binoculars, please. I don’t want to miss thing!
You’re spot on.
Twitter comments were brutal, and not just from Bunkerites and other critics; the general public is wise to the cult.
On any blog that allowed comments, the comments were also scathing. Some people write at great length about it. Some have personal stories, and run-ins with the “church”.
The more people like Kirstie Alley and Danny Masterson curse at the public, the better.
This is going to be a great year!
I just went to youtube and watched the ad for the first time.
It is such a nebulous generality that it does not catch my attention on anything.
It does not push any buttons.
It does not give me any clear reasons why I should go to scn.
It is one of the most ineffective ads possible.
Age of answers to what?
Waste of money.
You want answers? Use google search.
It is good that happened, because it does not drag people in to the church to get taken to cleaners.
It saved the lives of a lot of people by being an impotent ad.
Keep it that way.
Dio
I Googled several of these comments and found nothing close except this one from a comedy network Above Average:
“I think I’m Gonna Convert To Scientology After Seeing That”
But if you Google Scientology Superbowl ad “news”, to see what really happened, what you find in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and ALL the top news stories in the press read like this from International Business:
“The Super Bowl ad aired a week after a critical documentary on Scientology premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah. The film, “Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief,” is based on the 2013 best-selling book of the same name. It will air on HBO starting March 16.”
From the press point of view, the ONLY THING these Superbowl ads did was to increase the audience for HBO/Gibney… which is now only 30 days from today.
The thing about Scientology is that it’s hard to tell the difference between a real Scientology ad and a spoof.
Damn near impossible, I reckon…
My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the game.
Some idiots are watching to see a Scientology ad?
Would love to have been a fly on the wall at a Scientology
group Super Bowl party. Talk, talk, talk during the game,
no one knowing who is winning let alone who is playing.
Then the “ad” comes on….silence…then loud cheers…we are
the best….this is soooo cool….that meter was so beautiful….lets go check the website….wow look at the hits….fantastic!!!
Party over….no one knows who won the game because the party
ended when the “ad” was over. People go home feeling all tingly
inside….wow we certainly are clearing the planet….thank you, thank you
IAS.
That’s funny Potpie. My Super Bowl day was the exact opposite. I’m not a fan of football but, since the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl and I live in “Seahawk country, I watched the game. At every commercial break I would pop up to do something productive. Then I’d remember the assignment (Tony’s blog) to report when, where and which Scn ad played. I never did see an ad.
Superbowl party at Tom Cruise’s house…….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8__XewXd9Og
I don’t see the Scientology Ad in there. What’s up?
My mistake. Should be the best ten for 2015 not 2014.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd3dvQE4Jl4
We could make a list over 100 times as long for the complete opposite response on Twitter. It was, as usual, the most despised ad. I guess they win that category.
They have turned snark into “praise” and are basking in it.
The sweet smell of Cult roasting on an open fire is in the air today thanks to you and Tony. What a great way to start the weekend.
Yo OSA trolls …… and Dave,
If any of you guys and gals want to toss something out (like Neighbors 5AM joke yesterday) go ahead and do it now. The fire is going nicely and we can use some more dry fuel to add to our roasting.
My reply to Cooper’s “The sweet smell of Cult roasting on an open fire is in the air today thanks to you and Tony. What a great way to start the weekend.”
What a great way to put it! I love it. Cooper, I’ve really been enjoying your posts, including in my lurker only past. You are funny as smack! I’ve wanted to say that for a long time and here’s my chance lol. Thanks!
Thanks In Dog. Humor has been a great way to discharge some of the past over the top seriousness and the other posters here have given me some great belly laughs. And so we work!
Same here Coop. All your comments crack me up each time. Keep ’em coming.
I saw some of those very tweets that they quoted and they are too stupid to realize that most of those tweets were sarcastic tweets. If they’d have bothered to click on any of them to see the conversation, they’d have seen that these people were laughing at them. *facepalm*
I guess any good news, even when it isn’t really good news, works for them these days.
OH, I didnt think of that. Even more amazing. Perhaps I will update the post… Even funnier.
I was monitoring Twitter that day Mike, that’s why this cracks me up. I wish I had saved some of those Tweets. I’m guessing at least a couple were truly complimentary, but I recognize a few of those and they definitely were sarcasm. 😀
This is soooo ironic. I updated the post. Funniest. BS. Ever.
I know because I was one of them! Go look up johnaxelwood. I even told him apparently scientologist have no sense of humor!
Bwahaha 🙂
” apparently scientologist have no sense of humor!”
Wasn’t it ElRon who reminded us that this planetary clearing stuff was a deadly serious game?
I recall vividly an email I received from Samantha (MAA on the prisonwinds) where she warned me about ‘being flippant’ and how it would result in some sort of Ethics chit…….if I weren’t careful!
She wanted me to send up a bunch of stuff to verify ‘my participation’ after having completed OT VIII.
I thought …….me?….being flippant? How out of character 🙂
Bwahahahaaaaaaaaa indeed! Man, oh man. Like an ugly woman (not that there’s anything wrong with that) thinking they are the MOST BEAUTIFUL woman in the world….
Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8EEmZSP2iY
Can someone do a MEME with DM’s face in place of Wanda’s? LOL!
That’s one of the most obvious things about the church; it has no sense of humor. Humor to me is a manifestation of the spirit. I guess that says it all.
Just when I have thought the church was/is going to get the better of me, humor has bailed me out.
Keep it up all you flippant, whimsical, J&D, or humor driven souls.
Yeah Nola, when you cull a PC folder and take a comment out of context, it can mean anything you want it to. Sometimes those comments had a word or two after them.
The “it wouldn’t be Suerbowl without a Scientology commercial” is the biggest put down ever. A bunch of drunks roaring at the idiots placing yet another stoooooopid ad no one cares about.
Scientology Super Bowl ads probably have become something people wait for now. So. They. Can. Laugh. Their. Asses. Off.
They don’t get it, at all. Kathy Feshbach and a few other sheeple retweeted this article because the title is:
“I think I’m Gonna Convert To Scientology After Seeing That Super Bowl Ad”
http://aboveaverage.com/2015/02/02/i-think-im-gonna-convert-to-scientology-after-seeing-that-super-bowl-ad/#.VNGO58BzLKE.twitter
They seem to be having an incredibly hard time realizing that outside of their bubble, Scientology is a joke…and a punchline. 🙂
Its what is smart and what sales. Can’t hate that.
“Scientology nailed it with yet another ad. Very impressive…”
I guess they didn’t have room for the entire quote:
“Scientology nailed it with yet another ad. Very impressive for such a freak organization.”