The prosecution of Danny Masterson is becoming a predictable nightmare for David Miscavige and scientology.
Forced into making a public statement after damaging testimony in the Preliminary Hearing, scientology resorted to its time-honored tradition and lied. Not just a little lie. A big, bold, easily disproven denial. They rely on the fact that most are uninformed about their actual practices, and that the vast majority of people think when someone makes such an emphatic statement, they could not possibly be lying. Sociopaths use the good nature of the vast majority of people who could not tell the enormous lies they do because they would be too ashamed of being exposed. Sociopaths don’t possess a conscience. When it comes to the non-scientology world, scientology has no conscience.
The Los Angeles Times story includes a response from spokesperson Karin Pouw. Of course, Karin is just a name that is used to mask the statements from David Miscavige when he doesn’t want to get too close to a controversy. So far, scientology has remained mum on the prosecution of Danny Masterson, though they have said plenty about the non-criminal allegations made against Paul Haggis. Because Masterson and his family remain card-carrying scientologists they are defending. Paul Haggis is now an avowed “enemy” for talking to the New Yorker about scientology’s anti-gay public stance and lies about disconnection, so he is Fair Game.
Here is what the LA Times reported about the statement from scientology:
This is, as I said, a big, bold lie. Or in fact, a couple of them.
Let me start with the fact that though David Miscavige is a textbook sociopath according to my reading of Marth Stoutt’s excellent book The Sociopath Next Door, not all scientologists fall into that classification. Most are decent, nice people. But they are all expected to lie to protect scientology. And some of scientology’s most treasured assets are its celebrities. Including Danny Masterson. So the lies come thick and fast.
I have covered this in earlier blog posts here, including this one from 2017: Why Do Scientologists Lie?
Just for good measure, apart from the “scripture” and court documents quoted in this article, there is also an excerpt from the summary of the FBI Investigation into scientology human trafficking in 2009, which makes clear the proclivity for lying to law enforcement in particular. I include it here:
What of the specific lie that there is any language that would bar scientologists from filing reports about crimes?
Below are two pages from the book Introduction to Scientology Ethics. This is a handbook for scientologists, and these are two of the numerous pages listing what are classified as “High Crimes” in scientology. High Crimes are also denominated “Suppressive Acts” which are those things that result in one being declared a “Suppressive Person.” Suppressive Persons are not to be contacted by any scientologist, even immediate family members. This is the scientology practice of “disconnection.”
It is plain for all to see — there is absolutely language in scientology’s list of Suppressive Acts that contradicts Pouw’s claim.
And if you understand scientology and the larger context in which these passages are applied, you will know even more clearly how black and white this is in the eyes of scientologists. They may try to wiggle around this if anyone pins them down with “reporting a crime is not an effort to suppress scientologists from practicing standard scientology.” Once again, another lie resting on the belief that you will NOT be familiar with scientology policy or Hubbard’s worldview. Putting anyone in the hands of law enforcement and the courts is a horrible thing in the mind of scientologists. This is “wog” justice and it is virtually a death sentence.
You do not have to believe anyone about this other than L. Ron Hubbard himself. The final chapter of that same book is entitled “A New Hope for Justice.” This is not a secret document of limited distribution. Every scientologist is expected to own a copy of this book and have studied it. Hubbard doesn’t beat around the bush.
And this is another chapter from the same book, deriding the idea of “wog” justice and that scientologists must only apply “scientology justice” in all situations.
Now, putting aside the written words of Hubbard, there is also the experience of anyone who has ever been involved in scientology.
Every scientologist knows that if there is a crime involving another scientologist, the ONLY correct action is to report it internally. There are literally hundreds of examples of this.
Karin Pouw claiming “The Church is known for its assistance to law enforcement and appropriately reporting criminal behavior” is an extremely deceptive half-truth. The deceptive half is another big lie. Yes, scientology immediately reports NON-scientologists of suspected crimes, especially those it perceives as enemies. These people are turned in even without any real evidence. When scientology spots a non-scientologist engaged in assault or theft on their numerous security cameras around their buildings, they call 911. When their PI’s dig up dirt on enemies they turn that over to law enforcement. This is part of their efforts to make it appear they are good citizens supportive of law enforcement. It gives them brownie points and a reserve of credibility and goodwill with the police.
But the proof that this is just scientology gaming the system is this: If law enforcement shows up to inquire about a possible crime committed by a scientologist, or request evidence of a crime committed by a scientologist, they cannot even get past the front door. Ever. Then they are referred to legal counsel. Scientology fights turning over anyone or anything. They will even send potential witnesses out of the jurisdiction or country.
These are the questions scientology cannot answer about their fake claims of cooperation with law enforcement, specifically with respect to the Masterson case:
Have you turned over the files containing the detailed contemporaneous reports that everyone was required by scientology to make?
Have you made any of the people who talked with, counseled or “handled” either the victims or Danny Masterson available to law enforcement?
Didn’t think so.
And here is another one, more broad, but also not answerable:
Can you provide an example of when you have EVER reported a scientologist in good standing to law enforcement before they were under investigation? Or even when they were under investigation but had not been charged?
Can’t come up with one of those either….
As I said, the big lie is just scientology being scientology. Don’t be fooled.
Wow, just WOW! I had no idea how awful this organization is. Thanks so much for the insight…please keep up the good work. I had a relative who was going to go into Scientology and I’m so glad she didn’t. She told me that it was “bullshit” and hypocritical…guess she was right
I feel like gagging, reading what you shared of how great Co$ justice is and how they do not discourage members from reporting anything to the police. As I share in my book Relentless, Rescuing My Daughter from Scientology, one of the ‘crimes” I was charged with to be declared SP was reporting to the police the kidnapping of my daughter from daycare when she was 4 years old. I was not even a Scientologist at the time and didn’t find out until days later, my ex-wife had kidnapped her and took her on a train from Florida to California, only telling me 4 days later. The crime wasn’t her kidnapping my daughter, but not reporting it to Scientology to handle because she was a Scientologist! Co$ also refused to have be at the hearing in which they declared me SP and refused to give me a copy of hearings findings. Yes…what justice they share.
I thought of an anecdote that relates to this. When I worked for Atkinson-Baker, the CEO, Alan Atkinson-Baker liked to hire scientologists, whether they were qualified for the job or not, He knew he could fire these scn’s without recourse based on the policies quoted above whereas with non scn’s he had to worry about being sued. He used this liberally in his business, firing scn’s at will ( I believe he liked firing people) and keeping on unqualified non scn’s to avoid a lawsuit.
what an interesting perspective. I never got to know them as I was just introduced to them at my daughters wedding to their son, and Scientology played a zero role in this meeting.
Danny Masterson tweets a pic of his wife dropping him off at a court appearance where he is facing a trial for rape and says he going to “SCHOOL”.
He just graduated.
He is about to go through a test soon, which will determine if he qualifies for “GRADUATE SCHOOL”.
His GRADUATE SCHOOL might take a few years, up to 45 years, I understand. He will have some pretty tough teachers I understand. But in the end, and I don’t mean UP HIS END, he will really learn first hand how it feels. And there won’t be ETHICS PROTECTION.
Superb article, Mike.
ABC 7 News: “That ’70s Show” actor Danny Masterson must stand trial on 3 counts of rape, LA judge rules
By Andrew Dalton, Associated Press
https://abc7.com/danny-masterson-rape-trial-church-of-scientology-actor-that-70s-show-cast/10673935/
* * * * * BEGIN EXCERPT * * * * *
LOS ANGELES — A judge on Friday said “That ’70s Show” actor Danny Masterson must stand trial on three counts of rape.
Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Charlaine F. Olmedo made the determination in the fourth day of a preliminary hearing where the prosecution laid out its evidence.
That included dramatic and emotional testimony from three women who took the stand to say that Masterson raped them in 2001 and 2003.
[SNIP]
Masterson is a prominent Scientologist, all three women are former Scientologists and the church and its teachings came up constantly during testimony.
The judge said she found the women’s explanations credible that church teachings kept them from reporting their accusations to police for years.
* * * * * END EXCERPT * * * * *
The key sentence in the Associated Press report, the last paragraph excerpted above, is repeated in almost every story reporting that Masterson has been ordered to stand trial.
/
The Judge says Masterson is “Held to answer”, which means he will be going to trial!
https://tonyortega.org/2021/05/21/day-four-of-the-danny-masterson-prelim-the-arguments-and-a-ruling/
Political language … is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
–George Orwell
And whatever happened to the policy “Never use lies in PR”?
It’s trumped by “The Greatest Good” doctrine. They think they are protecting scientology with their silly denials.
Totally, I was told that I could do “favours” for Scientologists to earn cash such as cleaning etc. and they redefined what could be taxed and not taxed. This is how they got people to go on a Religious Visas in Sydney Org back before it went Ideal at least. This greatest good thing was really stretched here. They will go pretty far to muddle shit up so they can get a staff on board.
Anyway the HAS Jennifer AnokiChan, Diane Gilbert the ED, Miriam Kortbawi DED (They used her as a success story for for how the visa worked but you eventually find out that Miriam was crashing at her dad’s the whole time and didn’t have to pay rent), Tojo DSA and the mysterious Scientology lawyer who checked everything out for me says it’s all OK, and pretty much the whole org needed to peddle this stuff for it to sound convincing.
The line was more or less the following: As long as you get under the tax free threshold you don’t need to pay tax and favours don’t count; the tax free limit was about $12K the first year in 2010 and $24k my second year. This type of activity is expressly forbidden under the visa terms and is called something like income building activity or related activity and does not qualify for tax exemption. But you don’t find out till it’s too late and you’re committed.
Anyway they couldn’t find me enough work this way so I just worked illegally for a Scientology company (Sorry Lenny) Sydney Shade Sails, and payed regular tax until I left staff to go back to Canada.
I certainly evaded a few thousand in tax before I got fed up with the whole thing, not a lot but enough to be illegal as it’s fraudulent reporting. I’m not a big fan of taxes but the whole point of this was to do it legally and it was anything but since I was gunning for the Australian version of a green card and doing illegal shit does not help.
The whole EC/AC council then would be suspect, so Paul Reid was the OES, there were two siblings James HCO COPE OFF and Sarah Robson would be in on it as well and some Russian from HCO called Rouslan.
The whole thing was obviously kept quiet as I made no attempt to hide my activity from them. It was all for the greatest good and I believed it but really didn’t like the nasty feeling that came with it, so… here is my side. Hope it helps someone.
That is some fascinating stuff.
There are some reporters in Australia who may be willing to follow up on this. Ben Schneiders being one… Would you be willing to provide whatever information you have to him?
It might put the visa line under a microscope. But yes I’m willing to do it. Got a call from CLO not just 30 min ago, I more or less told them to stuff it and told them I’m talking to you; so looks like I’m on board.
I had to think about the answer being an unavoidable yes.
“Never use lies in PR” was more important in its breach. In scn’s twisty logic, an “acceptable truth” isn’t actually a lie even when its deceit is obvious to all.
And, looking at Pouw’s assertion, I can not think of ONE time that scientology reported a scientologist for an actual crime. Wog crimes aren’t really crimes, they’re merely corrections of wog injustice or something. Can anyone correct my memory?
Wow. CC Mr. Mesereaux. Read this my friend. What a DA pack if I ever saw one. Clean and simple.
‘The Church has zero-tolerance for abuse…’
Clearly the term ‘abuse’ is a misunderstood word, Dave. When you physically, verbally and emotionally beat up your devoted staff members, it is obvious you do not comprehend its meaning. And all the other abuses perpetuated by ‘policy’ and ‘the tech’ in the name of Gross Income, very pathetic.
There is supposedly a no reporting policy in the “admin” (green) volumes enjoining members from going to the police with crimes, according to someone who commented over at the Underground Bunker the other day and implied that it’s much clearer that what is in the “ethics” books. I can’t readily find anything about it, but hopefully one of the people who knows such things in and out can come up with it.
O/T. People: Leah Remini Shares Admissions Letter After Being Accepted into NYU: ‘I Am So Excited, in Tears’
By Naledi Ushe
May 20, 2021 09:25 PM
https://people.com/tv/leah-remini-accepted-nyu-admissions-letter/
/
Just goes to show: “Our” Leah is so incredible. I doubt I’m the only one here who is so proud, though she probably did it despite our interference.
Telling the Big Lie is a tough job – but someone’s gotta do it. David Miscavige – big being that he is – seems well-equipped for this task.
Criminal organizations often tell lies.
DANNY MASTERSON’S DEFENSE:
IT WASN’T ME
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nkTQ8xRmjw
I thought it was cute that the cartoon dude was karate-chopping the air out of the way like Tom Cruise.
smooth operator.
Yes indeed!
I thought THIS hit it OUT of the ballpark because deep within my soul & heart of hearts I can actually HEAR HIM DENY EVERY ASSAULT as in “THEY wanted ME”…………or….” NO, it WASN’T ME……………..THEY’RE CONFUSED from drinking too much booze etc”…………. …..SMH.
Of course with a high power Attorney Like Tom M……hang onto your hats……
I hope & pray that everyone he assaulted get JUSTICE. I KNOW we all would like to comfort his VICTIMS…….No one ever forgets a sexual assault……..
If, as proclaimed, Scientology’s justice system is so far superior to the wog courts then why didn’t it take up the rape cases itself? Too worried the victims or accused (whichever lost the case) would make a loud public departure?
In scientology, the victims, being responsible for their conditions, are at least as culpable as the criminals, often MORE culpable than those who did the deed.If the victim is a young girl who is adept at looking good, then there’s the cause of it all right there.
Jere,
Thanks so much for the hilarious clarification. Remember that mindset from all my decades in the cult.
🙂
There is also the Flag Order “Regulations and Laws Obedience To” and other policy references that call for submission to the civil authorities.
Always fun for Scientologists, the “Hubbard Says” game where you show someone a clear Hubbard reference that says X and they say “Oh yeah?” and pull out an old Professional Auditors Bulletin from the 50s that says the exact opposite.
You can count on them to lie and say they always follow the law. That was Hubbard’s way all his life. Hubbard told them to lie. It is very safe to assume that the public statements officially issued are carefully disguised misdirection or outright lies. Go to the concert hall for music, the grocery store for canned goods, Scientology for mendacity.
Bruce,
Wow!
You’re the first person who I’ve ever heard of who knew about Flag Order 3395 Rules and Regulations, Obedience To. Before I found that FO I witnessed countless lies and misrepresentations to governments and authorities by staff and orgs so thought well, that must be “on policy” and “standard practice” in the cult. But then I found that FO, read it and completely understood the good sense it contained. It also said it is better to follow the law of countries one is operating in and not take complicated and dishonest courses of action to circumvent them as doing so always put one at risk. So, no, just know and follow the laws of the country one is dealing with. It is, after all the safest and surest practice for success.
Tried to get this FO fully applied from my post and got removed. Woke up and walked the fuck out soon after.
When it comes to scientology there is so little gratification of justice that I take any morsel I can get and relish it for as long as possible.
I just have to say that it was fun to read how the Judge in clarifying what a “Wog” was, likened it to a “Muggle” in the Harry Potter series. Thank you Judge.
I only watched one Harry Potter movie so I needed to “word clear” Muggle. Mr. Google says:
noun INFORMAL
a person who is not conversant with a particular activity or skill.
“this video game won’t appeal to muggles”
That’s a pretty good synonym from the judge – laughter
If in the judge’s mind he/she is also comparing scn to the “psychic explorations” in Harry Potter’s world that would also be a good comparison.
Further research. The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and scn Ideal Orgs might have some comparisons. Developing Super Powerz and all that.
Maybe some judge will decide that sending a plaintiff back to the Miscavige School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for arbitration is not a good idea.
scientology has NO justice, only punishment for crossing the wrong person on the wrong day.
Mike, loved the Aftermath, now loving the podcast. You and ‘LeeLee’ are steadfast warriors. I’ve been following Tony’s in-court observations this week. Shocking! But, not really. A thought with regards to the soon to be trial itself; it would seem that the possibility of jury tampering is a very real threat with this organization that will do anything and everything to protect itself. Buying jurors? Harassing jurors? Threatening jurors? These tactics would seem part and parcel for Scientology. All 12 will need to be on board for a guilty verdict. Full-on sequestering of the jury seems very appropriate, yet, very unlikely to happen. Thoughts?
I wonder what the still-ins think about these bold-faced lies.
Does dm even have an inkling what a liar and idiot he looks like to his followers?
His followers don’t see the lies, only his promises and “acceptable truths”.
The justice of scn is always a written script. Every single time. Almost all the committees of evidence that I have attended as a member or chairman have always had a decision already established before being held. And it was suggested to you how it was best to go. If you disagreed then it was assigned to others to be done. This says enough about everything else regarding ethics and justice in scn.
Loosing: I have done a Comm-Ev in which the Committee did not hang the Interested Party and so a new Bill of Particulars was issued with the Committee Members added as Interested Parties. Then the Committee was Comm-Eved. In another the Committee was threatened by the Dir I and R if we failed to remove the Interested Party from post. In a third one, the I and R simply changed the F and Rs herself, indicating that the Committee had found the person Guilty when we had done no such thing.
In my own Comm-Ev, The Committee said that I had pleaded Guilty when I had clearly pleaded Not-Guilty. It took a Review Committee to listen to the tapes and hear that I had pleaded Not-Guilty.
Fortunately by then I was no longer in the S.O. ; having been sent off to die of AIDS after being sent to LRH’s Chiro for treatment of full-blown AIDS.
Even without AIDS I would have self-terminated within a year as life on the Ship had gotten so insane.
Lordy — That be some full-on completely weird strange scn-speak right there! What it all mean he wonders? All them letters and no words. Ermigawd, Leelee? Help! Interrupt that comment… 🙂
Loosing.
Just like Bill I am convinced the justice system in the cult is a total lie. Nothing is fair and evidence based and often the “adjudicators” are threatened if they do not come up with the predetermined mandate of the convening authority. I chaired a comm ev at Flag once so know what I say. The Committee found the defendant innocent and the “convening authority” simply ordered a new one with new members.
I’ve read the “findings and recommendations” of a comm ev convened against two public. It was on the grounds of causing a public flap because one took the other to the state for failing to pay child support. The comm ev found both parties guilty and demanded each of them perform hundreds of hours of “service” to the cult to make amends for the flap. The women was pressured to rescind her case with the state too. Was the ex husband made to pay up the owed funds? Not by the cult.
Comm evs are bogus and seem to be just as unfair and one sided as Blubbard claims our Justice system and its courts are. Kettle calling the pot black?
If you read intro to scn ethics, you’ll see there is NO justice system in scientology. Going to ‘ethics’ is identical to being sent to the Principal’s Office in our school years. In other words, it’s only another word for punishment. In DM’s version of things, paying an ‘appropriate’ amount, otherwise know as bribery, can get you off.
Has anyone reached out to the LA Times, like yourself Mike, to openly contradict with these exact excerpts? To show the world what Karin Pouw claims to be ‘the truth’ about Scientology to be just another bold faced lie? To lend credence that what these women are saying holds weight? I have been moved to tears reading what has been said as I follow Tony’s coverage. To hear women accuse Masterson of rape is one thing, but to hear the raw transcript and testimony of what they went thru is something entirely different. I am so MAD that what Scientology did, is in essence, obstruction of justice and coercion to entice obstruction of justice in order to maintain their façade. No one from law enforcement is holding this cult going by the name of Scientology accountable. I hope, and I pray that this is the start of a more comprehensive investigation into just how the church controls not only narrative, but also the lives of their members.
I tweeted it to the LA Times reporters. If you want to also send it to them that would be great.
From what we’ve seen, or not, from the LA Times, they’re not interested in saying ANYthing that will anger the tiny tyrant.
That may be changing….
Hear Hear
And six cars in the parking lot earlier at the Atlanta morgue.
Actual morgues have more traffic.
The first citate is actually not from Hitler.
It’s author is J. Goebbels (perhaps, previous incarnation of David Mic.)
Do you have a citation for this? I have no idea and like things to be accurate. I found that quote from a Google search of “Big Lie”
here ya go Mike. https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/joseph-goebbels-on-the-quot-big-lie-quot
Thanks — corrected it
The word I have heard is that Hitler did say something very similar in his book written in prison, “Mein Kampf”. I am not doing any searches on that one, but you could probably find a sanitized version somewhere. Not much point though, everybody understands the implications.
Oddly the idea of the “big lie” (old as humanity) actually became popular in the modern era in the Wilson administration, during his massive campaign to get the US into WW1 after campaigning as an isolationist. I think it was Edward Bernays who advised Wilson about this. He later wrote a book in 1928 called “Propaganda” which acts as a sort of reference book for totalitarians to this day.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/493212.Propaganda
Bruce did you read what was in the link above I posted??
“The original description of the big lie appeared in Mein Kampf. Adolf Hitler applied it to the behavior of Jews rather than as a tactic he advocated. Specifically, he accused Viennese Jews of trying to discredit the Germans’ activities during World War I. Hitler wrote of the Jews’ “unqualified capacity for falsehood” and “that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily;”
Not to beat a dead horse but it appears Göebbels didn’t say it either.
https://bytwerk.com/gpa/falsenaziquotations.htm
Oh dear.
Not going to change it again. It’s a truism used by sociopaths, who takes credit for it it seems we will never know…
So, who CARES who said it first. It’s a staple of dictators and other Totalitarianists
A case of “Never let little lies get in the way of even bigger lies.” maybe?
Excellent! Very well written. It’s so true and so horrible – I cannot believe how hard I believed in it while I was in there… Gosh how they (well LRH and DM) are criminal minds accusing society of their own crap!
Thanks for this excellent article, Mike!
Tony’s courtroom reporting on Masterson’s prelim has been incredible. I had to pause a few times and then go back again to finish reading because it’s heartbreaking to hear the horrific accounts of the women involved. Literally makes me sick to my stomach.
These women are brave souls. I cannot imagine what they’re going through.
Hi Mike,
You should send this to the Los Angeles Times writer… I am sure he would be interested in this little piece of information.
Great idea! The more this information is out in the public arena, the more questions people will ask. It all builds upon the great work Mike and Leah are doing.
Good article. Clear cut information in Hubbards own words.
Also I wanted to point again that in one of Hubbards taped lectures he gives instructions regarding lying as a therapy and tells followers to try it. He was prepping members to become inured to telling lies.
Geoff,
Do you remember which lecture that was?
Mark, no. It was many years ago. I listened to so many lectures in my car. I remember using the technique quite a bit. Hubbard said to do small lies that would not cause a problem if you were caught. He called it a process that was therapeutic.
Lying Processes went back to early PABs, Creation of Human Ability, and Level 1 processes. Per the tek, you have to make a second postulate (lie) for the first postulate to persist. Thus, lying comes natural, even before Hubbard puts his spin on it. And boy did he spin.
Mike,
This info definately needs to be forwarded to the prosecution team in the Masterson case.
Thank you for all you do, Mike Rinder.
“Now, putting aside the written words of Hubbard, there is also the experience of anyone who has ever been involved in scientology.”
Impossible to argue with Scientology’s own written policies AND the lived experience of countless former members.
I am curious Andrea: I was on the Freewinds and my senior was Chief Engineer Ben Garner who had a wife named Andrea. Are you perhaps her?
No, I was never in Scientology. My dad is Welsh and our name means “to harvest or gather” which I’ve always rather liked 🙂
Thank you.
Dave, you and I need to meet and discuss a few issues.
George – I was wondering to whom you were replying. I just now “got it”. Duh 🙄
I see also that another “high crime, suppressive act” is “Sexual or sexually perverted conduct contrary to the wellbeing or good state of mind of a Scientologist…” Was this applied to Masterson? Or is it that the things that he did to those women weren’t considered as such?
Sci Ex,
Totally pertinent question.
He had “ethics protection”, eh?
In scientology, if you are rich and famous and,most importantly, donate a lot of money, knowledge reports about you get thrown in the garbage and your victims get sec checked.
Cuz, it’s the upstats who are saving this universe, right?
That whack shit is in the “ethics” book as well…
@Sci Ex — I positively agree with Mark. If rape does not make the ethics grade with a Celebrity Centre ethics officer as a massive wrong-doing, then the LRH designated crime particular to sex and sexuality should. Though drugging and raping someone should be sufficient (good lord). Also, I thought there was a “fine print” with the Code of Honor that being a Scientologist means adhering to and upholding the laws of the country in which you live? You get pretty heavy-handed ethics treatment if you owe back taxes.
“You get pretty heavy-handed ethics treatment if you owe back taxes.”
Unless your last name is Feshbach. Then you get trophies for giving your money to scientology rather than the pesky IRS.