Tonight’s show focuses on me and addresses the subject of Fair Game. There is a short teaser for the show on the A&E Facebook page. Tony Ortega has a review of the episode on his blog today.
Obviously there is a huge amount of territory to cover and it’s SO difficult trying to figure out what to include and what to explain and how. You don’t really understand this until you try to do it.
And it is especially difficult to have perspective on a program that focuses on you. Obviously there are many things I have spoken about during the filming of this series that won’t ever see airtime. It is the nature of the beast. 30 hours of interviews are distilled down to 48 minutes airtime.
One concern I have is that the show does not really give voice to my regret about things I have done during my time in the church that may have caused suffering to others. I think it captures the regrets I have about my children, always the answer to the question “What is your biggest regret.” But it is not the whole picture and I fear it will appear that this is ALL I care about. So, let me set the record straight in case that is the impression that is created: I apologize to anyone I hurt, and I am truly sad that I was that person. The only thing I feel I can do about it let that be know, but more importantly, try to make good going forward. I certainly wish I had been smarter and had not believed so strongly that what I was doing all those years in the Sea Org was “saving the planet.” And that I had not bought into the idea that every decision is based on “the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics” (where the Third Dynamic counts 20 and each of the other 7 count 1), nor had I subscribed to L. Ron Hubbard’s “Code of Honor” – particularly “never fear harming another in a just cause.” I now see these as false and harmful “stable data” and sometimes wonder at my blindness.
Today, I try to live with what I see is the truth, not what someone else tells me is the truth. I attempt to do what I think is right. I am not living in the past or living a life of regret by any means. But I feel it is important to the people out there who may have been on the short end of the stick I was wielding to know where I am at. For whatever reason I did not feel, for me, that this truly comes through in the show.
Apart from my new family and the many friends who have been incredibly supportive of me, perhaps the greatest happiness I find in life is when I hear that I have helped someone as a result of exposing the abuses rampant in scientology. Yesterday I received a message from a mother that literally made my day (many of you may have seen it already as I posted it on Facebook).
Dear Sir, I’ve just watch Ms. Remini’s new program about your former “church”. Thank you for your interview and taking part in it. I firmly believe that by your actions and everyone else who are working so hard to reveal the truth in the extremely say situation it will, eventually bare fruit in the downfall of this group. Please, know that, while you may never know you are having a profound impact for the good with your efforts for the truth to be revealed. My son, had been “playing” with the idea of finding out about Scientology. Knowing, what I know about it, limited that it is, didn’t agrue, but asked him to watch the 1st episode of Ms. Remini’s program.with me. He did, we talked and then I asked him to do his research and if he wanted to talk again about Scientology again, we would. We have just finished that talk. THANK YOU BOTH SO VERY VERY MUCH!!! I make this statement this way because I firmly believe your collective efforts may have very easily saved my son from a life of total Hell, lies and Heave only knows what else. I am truly sorry for what you have had to live through with this thing called a “church”. You have lost so much, both you and Ms. Remini. It was not for nothing, I can promise you that. Your speaking out saved my son and I will forever be greatful. Please understand what that means to this Mama’; as a parent, I’m sure you do. Most Sincerely, I remain respectfully your’s…
I hope you enjoy the show tonight. I look forward to hearing your views tomorrow.
And finally, Leah Remini is one of the bravest, strongest and kindest people I have ever had the good fortune to meet. Without her, this show would not have happened. And remember, unlike me, she is not fighting to get her family back, she is standing at the front of this crusade on behalf of others who do not have a voice. She inspires me to be a better person.
Great post and great show. Your integrity is why your blog is the only blog I read daily on the subject. I’d guess that’s the same for a great many others too.
Having been a public scio for 30 years I was always intimidated by you. I guess heart palpitations and fear came over me when passing you while being a pc on the ship. I watched you last night and that all disappeared. You came across as real and honest.I really have the utmost respect for you and your caring love to stand up for your family against the harassment.Your speaking out and telling the truth has helped me detangle over the years.I so hope one of your children break free and come to your open home.
I hope that soon they will open both their ears, eyes, and brain. That this cult will fall and Dm has an enormous tax bill, an some much deserved time in the hole, behind local, and federal bars.
Such supportive comments. Anyone able to guide me with a link? Geoblocked from a&e site here in aus.
I’m interested in knowing the effect inside the organisation, from the base to the top… what is happening inside Scientology while all this information flows out?
Although I would not call myself a Christian, there is wisdom to be found in the bible.
Luke 15 1-7
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
Many people make a specific mistake, many people do not make that specific mistake. It does not say anything about a person.
But true character shows when we make mistakes and have the courage to live up to our errors and say so.
I know you are not looking for applause or approval. But it is a simple fact you show true character.
I thought it was an excellent program. It really humanized the struggle you’ve had. My heart goes out to you. However I thought talking about scientology’s attempt to get Nick Lister to break up your relationship with your wife is a powerful example of how despicable this “fair gaming” gets. Why wasn’t that included?
Time. There are a lot of other things not included. YSCOHB texts. The guy who was convicted of hacking my emails. Christie’s story. Trying to visit my son after I was told by someone in the media he had cancer. Being followed to Australia, Ireland, England, Texas, Washington, D.C. etc etc
It’s always tough and it’s not all my decisions about what does or does not get included.
Hi Mike!
I loved this episode. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first one. I liked the psychological explanations of why you did what you did at different points of your life. This is very important to the viewers.
I would have liked to hear what aspects (if any) of LRH’s teachings you still believe in and have faith in. A little more of a personal approach as to how a current Scientologist, that has gotten a lot out of the beginning wins, would be able to deeply relate to you. This would really help people realize that they can still hang on to whatever they believed in even if they leave.
Other than that, excellent job. I respect you.
I agree that the views being expressed on this series should include those of people who have gotten a lot out of the original principles and practices. In fact, doing so would probably bring about the implosion of the CoS a lot faster. Those on the inside would see clearly that what church management has been and is still doing has no resemblence to how Scientology started out.
One of the Strongest Ideas I have heard here. Thank you.
Thanks for the acknowledgment. Glad that you can see the rationale there.
marildi, you should start a website with such testimonials. Mike would probably link it from this site.
As I’ve said before, I feel this point of view should be expressed here on Mike’s, for the reasons I’ve given. And I give Mike great credit for his willingness to allow all viewpoints. Including both yours and mine. 😉
You COMPLETELY misunderstood me.
YOU keep expressing (over MANY months) your desire to have OTHERS produce pro-scn material. (see your first post in THIS thread as just one out of MANY examples). YOU should produce such projects yourself.
Projects? You might be thinking of My 2 Cents.
What I said in my post above was this: “I agree that the views being expressed on this series should include those of people who have gotten a lot out of the original principles and practices.”
And previously, I have stated that Mike’s blog should include positive statements about Scientology – because readers who have had positive experiences will not give credibility to a blog that only has negative comments.
A lot of people have positive experience driving Fords. I’ve owned three of them and they’ve all been shit. I’m not buying one ever again, no matter what someone on a website says about the new Focus.
Miraldi, I understand what you are saying and I agree with you. Just ignore Espiando. And feel free to publish all the wins you want. Things are never all black or all white, despite what some people dramatize.
Thanks, Cindy. I just know that if I had looked in on this blog when I was still ignorant of what was really going on in the CoS, I wouldn’t have believed what was being said about it if at the same time wins with the tech was being invalidated. The other thing I believe readers should know is that the tech is available outside the church and that some of the best tech-trained people are out here delivering it. So your support is appreciated. 🙂
What you did was done because you thought it was right and actually helpful. Like many of us. Just as you do now. Not everyone can say the same in life.
Mike,
Thank you for all that you are doing to set things right for those that were harmed by ‘Fair Game’. By exposing the truth about this cult, you are saving many more than you may know. As I said to the OSA agent sent to be my ‘boyfriend’ years ago as part of the mission to destroy my life…a man I innocently loved so much…when I found out what he was really in my life for…I felt so incredibly devastated…no words. Except for this…I spoke with him a final time and said…”when you look in your mirror I hope you see the good man you truly are and were meant to be someday…and know that you are forgiven.”
You too…are forgiven, Mike. And I hope you also see the good man you truly are and were always meant to be now that you have left that prison of belief that is Scientology.
Mike
While the key thing is to stop being a victim of the mind-fuck perpetrated by the criminal organisation – and stop being a perpetrator – an apology is also very important. Good show!
That was GREAT! My favorite part was when you described packing your suitcase in London and doing a runner. I shouted out a big YES! YES! and jumped out of my chair:)
Episode 2 — good job!
I too hope to get my son & daughter back. Thanks for the work you are doing and have done to bring our children back.
I am in 2 minds regarding you Michael. On one side I very much appreciate your whistle blowing activities. On the other I dislike the disparaging of the techincal side of Scientology as I believe it can do much good, as it has for me. I would prefer to see precision strikes, rather than a scorched earth scenario.
In my mind, taking an org viewpoint, I do not see why we have to make the same mistakes again. Even quoting Hubbards own ethics conditions, as we all know the stats must be shot to hell, “change the operating basis”. We all basically know how it has failed, it is discussed daily on just this blog alone, we can just stop doing those actions. The “Service PL” backs this up.
I say, let it clean up its act, learn from its mistakes, and let it do what it can do for people who reach for it. And this would be regardless of what Hubbard may have done or not done or said or not said in his private life. It should abide by the mores of the society in which it exists. This is just a no brainer, to all those except maybe the 2nd biggest being in the universe.
penny, Mike isn’t stopping people from “cleaning up” scientology. People who advocate such would probably better spend their time doing just that, than telling other people what you want THEM to do to get it done.
Just a thought.
You are a superhero!
Mike, my husband wanted to make sure you knew how grateful if he was for your help and advice when Fair Game was at a height for us. They tried hard to break him and it was a tough for a while. We talked for a week about your advice, what to do and not do and it made a big difference. He was so terrified of losing income, job again and our home, so much so that he’d lost a lot of weight, became ill from the stress. You helped ease his mind when he needed it the most.
Watching Fair Game – this is such a polished episode – and jam packed with mind numbing information. Getting a kick out of Leah’s reaction one after the other. I can see viewers will want to watch this several times over to try and absorb. Oh and the soundtrack – nailed it! So many docs have volume too high.
We cried, we cheered, I blubbered. When I saw that Sci version of the POW look on you in the Sweeney segment, I lost it. Last vision I have is the staff with me on the RPF on the pilot Running Program. We all had that haunted refugees from hell look. I knew if I didn’t leave that very day I might die. But I still suffered Survivor’s Guilt for quite a while. I saw you on the screen and it still shocks me. And then watching your family, oh my. I’ll have to watch this again tomorrow when I can breathe. You have effectively shattered the PR image of just a kooky klub, ripped that mask and exposed the monster in the bright light of day for millions Made they all get home and soon. Thank you.
Mike… Thank you so much for this. I am speechless
Mike, thank you for your kindest words. I am writing late as I just arrived from work, but I don’t want to let this moment go by without acknowledging something.
I do understand that the life lived in the Sea Org and, consequently, some of the actions you, myself and others carried out in the name of ‘saving the planet’, nothing most important than the 3rd Dynamic’, etc were things that, on our own, we may have done differently.
But there is no need to blame, shame or regret it. We did it because a belief and the intention was to do well, to help and get things better.
Maybe that is the difference; we had no vested interest, we were not hiding and blaming others to protect ourselves, we honestly tried to help.
That ‘goodness’ in us his what made us see the light, leave the cult and take action in exposing it.
Your blog alone is a line where, even if just a comment, gives many of us the chance to express our thoughts, realize something and carry on with the creation of our new lives in a free way; it does make us better and that alone has to be acknowledged. You are the one that carries it every day and that is more than appreciated.
Working with Leah, doing the Going Clear and many other of your actions deserve respect as they are done because you want to do them, are signs of a brave, courageous individual and this is acknowledged as well.
I hope I made your day too, you have made my day more than one time. Thank you again
Now I see on Tony Ortega’s blog post of today that the woman in the picture is indeed Mike’s wife Christie.
The comment above was supposed to have landed under the comment I posted earlier, where I asked about the picture (a screen shot of the A&E site) at the top of the blog post. It took me a while to realize it was probably Mike’s wife. Anyway, what a beauty she is.
Mike, both you and Leah are very brave. You both have my respect.
Mike, you are setting an example of how to be honorable. There are many whose road will be made easier by learning from you.
Mike
I find it very comforting to have you here.
It’s the safest and sanest internet site for folks like me. For the out, the UTR, the recovering, for those of us who have suddenly discovered we’ve wasted decades of our lives on beautiful and ugly lies.
People get into scientology because they want answers and want to help. We all tell stories about how friendly everyone was, about the purpose, the camaraderie. If one was staff, – (I can only speak from late 70’s to present) one probably did crap things to others at times. “greatest good” “acceptable truth” “never fear to hurt another in a just cause” “policy” and so on… Simon Bolivar, etc. We were all just trying our best to get up the bridge and help others do so, and not get shot doing it.
I think if someone was ass while in, they’re probably an ass out too. I’ve tried to read other blogs but..the asshole arrogant factor is too high.
………
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for safe haven.
….
if it wasn’t so damn important to stay hidden, I’d seek out a therapist who knew cults and scn bottom to top. But as that’s just fucking impossible for me.
I come here.
^^^ Brave words, well said.
Mike, no need to apologize for what you did while in. YOu have been making up for that with each and every post and article you do. And you helped me immensely when I was on the fence. And helped me more when the situation with my kids came up. I am so grateful for you. And Leah is so brave to stand up when she doesn’t even have any disconnected family. She does it for us and so do you. I thank you!
My biggest regret is that I got a call in the late 80’s to early 90’s from a dear friend who joined the SO and was “over the rainbow” at Int. She called late one night whispering in the phone saying she had to talk fast and may have to hang up fast and that she wanted me to come… and the phone went dead. I could tell it was urgent, so I star 69ed her back and a man answered the phone and I asked for her. He said no she can’t talk and acted like she was in trouble for using the phone at all. I was still too naïve and KA drinking to know what she was calling for. I know now. She wanted me to come help her escape.
A year later I saw her at CC as a public as she was out of the SO by now. She was dying of Stage 4 cancer. She asked me if I’d read the LRH reference on what causes cancer? I said yes. (he says it has to do with losses etc on the 2nd dynamic). She said she had a huge loss on the 2nd dynamic because she more or less forced her 12 year old son to join the SO with her because there was no one to care for him if she went in. So against his will he went into the SO with her. And after being at Int with her for a time, he was to be RPFed. She said she was fighting it and trying to not let them put her son in the RPF. And she contracted cancer. She told me her son had had out tech FPRD run on him, squirrelled FPRD and that they had run in so many programs on him without finishing up other programs.
She was careful how she talked. Made sure not to blame DM. But she looked me up to tell me that she felt her cancer was because of having to see her baby put through the horrible RPF and see his case mangled with squirreled case actions and auditing.
My regret is that when she first called to have me rescue her, that I didn’t see and somehow perceive that was what she was trying to tell me. I was just too KA to even begin to think that anything bad could be happening at Int, the paragon of standard tech and virtue. Maybe if I’d rescued her and her son she’d still be alive today. RIP, DJ Sydney.
And this is why we fight, to allow Exes the freedom to apologize if they feel it’s necessary. These apologies are sincere and from the heart, not like the “apologies” in the cult that are crystallized into Conditions and A To E. They even ruin that in their effort to program everyone’s behavior.
To be true to yourself is one of the worst things that the cult takes away from anyone.
Marvelous shoop for you by Mark at the Bunker today Mike:
http://tonyortega.org/2016/12/06/tonight-on-leah-reminis-series-two-more-families-get-ripped-apart-and-fair-gamed/#comment-3039343421
Thank you Mike. You are a good man. This post is from an ethical and moral man. A man of conscience.
Also thank you so much for letting my views be heard.
Sorry if I offend anyone by my criticisms of Ron.
Mike,
I have never been in Scientology, I have been reading your blog for the past couple of years, never commenting until today… I feel compelled to tell you that I think you are brave and selfless. Whatever your past has been, today it is evident that you touch many lives and are making a difference because of where your path has led.
I hope you always find the strength to continue your very important journey
???this, Mike. I also most regret not having a relationship with my son. I think it’s my biggest regret and heartbreak. I feel you on this post.
And from the Miscabbage Brussell Sprouts Sycophant Brigade will come the almost yawn inspiring whimpering, whining and saggy leaf rustling of the browning and aphid ridden attack lettuce.
The more yelling and screaming $camology does the more people will look more deeply into the truth behind this cult and see it for what it has become, the Cult of (I really don’t want to utter its name, but…) David Miscavige.
The screen shot at the top of the blog post is from a short clip that was shown at the beginning of the Kelly Files show last night. Watching that clip, it hit me again how well Mike and Leah complement each other. She has celebrity and the usual energy (and more) of a newcomer to a cause, and Mike has a huge amount of experience with the church both “inside” and “out” and is the perfect consultant for Leah. I have a feeling they will do as a team what other efforts didn’t quite achieve, including the “Going Clear” documentary.
Btw, Mike, is the beautiful woman sitting next to Leah your wife?
Here’s the link to the Kelly Files show where that clip was shown just before Leah was interviewed: http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/12/05/leah-remini-scientology-documentary-leaving-church-worship-speak-out
Honor is something that was available to everyone once but it can be a fickle thing and can slip away easily. At times it takes sheer guts to recover it after a mistake. Being human is to err but being honorable is simply doing the right thing. Your actions and your blog are the right thing Mike, you have turned around much of the hard and heartfelt emotion created by the abuse people have suffered at the hands of Scientology and directed it into more positive thought. Being honest and having a means to express it is also a universal solvent too imo.
You make an excellent pair, both you and Leah working together to right the wrongs of Scientology. Good fortune to you both and everyone else who prefers honesty in people’s lives.
In all honesty, I think if you said you regretted anything in front of losing your kids, it would look weird.
Of course your first regret is going to be your children. That is 100% normal. And it reflects well upon you because your first priority is no longer this evil organization.
And you have regrets for your actions. There’s a million platitudes about being man enough to admit when you were wrong. I’m sure you’ve heard them, so I don’t need to repeat them. You are living proof of that every day. It’s one thing to apologize ( talk the talk). But you are also walking the walk every day. My hat (and NOT the Co$
‘hatting’ kind) is off to you and Christie.
I’ll just repeat a cigarette ad from the 70’s:
You’ve come a long way baby!
Mike, what you’ve written is full of truth. Someone once said, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. Life is a continuous creation. All we ever do is create. The creation process never stops. Even doing nothing is a creation. We create good, we create bad, the latter frequently with the best of intentions. Since March of 2013 when you began this blog and I began reading it every day, it’s become obvious what you’re creating, and it is good, helpful, and needed. What you’re doing takes plenty of consistent physical universe effort along with the necessary qualities of self honesty, humility and confront. Your considerable wordsmithing skill supports and enhances these efforts and qualities and is not an end game in itself. You’re a good man, Mike, a person of good will. Thank you for all you do.
Mike, I am trying to think whether I admire you more for turning me onto Aussie Rules or this, but I am definitely leaning towards this.
All day long, I have been thinking about the number of people coming forward and speaking out about the atrocities behind the closed doors of scientology. The catalyst, it seems is destroyed family relationships. When I was in, there was s astong push for me to communicate regularly (although very generically) with my parents and Lois says the same thing. Today, the entire group known as scientology has such a low regard for family that they do not understand the unspoken rule of society “Never get between parents and their children.”
I find it quite humorous (or not) that an organization boasting itself as a “church” finds its greatest “victories” in statements like “the war is over” “shudder them into silence” and the one that has served as their hugest achilles heel “we made them disconnect from their parents.”
Any sane parent forcefully deprived of their child will fight to the death to get that child back.
The more people communicate the truth about the “churches” of Scientology around the world the better people will understand the truth about the churches of Scientology around the world. It is to everyone’s advantage on the face of this Earth not to support crazy theories about the human body, mind and spirit that churches of Scientology embrace due to people’s ignorance of the facts and accept donations for. Lack of knowledge is what makes the Church of Scientology make money. It is fair to say: Let’s rip em’ off?!” 🙂
I’m not one to get all weepy or emotional. After reading this, I am all weepy and emotional. This is a wonderful post, humble and honest and full of compassion. Thank you Mike for all that you do. May you and your family have a long and happy life. May all your family, and all other families, be reunited very soon.
So, I don’t know what else can be added to what others have already said, except that I agree with the positive things and supportive remarks that your commenters have said, and I respect, admire, and appreciate both you and Leah Remini so very much. 🙂 Thank you. Love, T.J.
Your actions tell me that you are well on your way to redemption for the things you did while a Scientologist by your actions. People forget that actions are also required for forgiveness in Christianity, not just confession and asking for forgiveness. I’m not a Christian, but I feel many of their standards make sense.
Leah’s show is another huge milepost on the road to eliminating the evils of Scientology, and you are an important part of it.
Going Clear, while excellent, won’t approach the impact of this 8 part series because it isn’t on pay per view, and A&E has a wider audience. The fact that it’s spread over 8 episodes means that there’s more time for much more information to be received.
Leah’s celebrity is a huge help in publicity, and her personality does much for the show, but your participation is also a valuable part of it. You come across as an excellent team.
I have posted on my Facebook that even if one misses the original weekly broadcast of this series, it will be on the website lickity split. My friends and family do not understand why I talk about how bad COS is, I was never a member. I guess it comes down to I cannot stand bullies.
When we got declared , we reconnected with a long lost friend and apologized for disconnecting without a word. He said there was no need to apologize , it is just life and we each go through it with our circumstances etc…
Your goodness and integrity comes through loud and clear.
Thank you for everything you do Mike! I try to share your posts in SPs_R_Us on facebook every day.
Mike,
You have courageously stepped forward to speak the truth, and have fully earned the love, respect, and admiration which we feel towards you.
Learning to forgive yourself can be difficult, but I believe it’s an equally important and necessary part of one’s recovery from Scientology.
You are most certainly worthy of forgiveness, Mike.
That was a beautifully written and very heartfelt apology to all of those who were harmed as a result of your actions while in the cherch!
I sincerely believe in redemption and in affording those who are sincere in their desire to achieve it the opportunity to do so. The road to redemption always begins with true contrition and a complete and unconditional acknowledgement of the wrong that one has done. But words are awfully easy to produce and not at all a substitute for making amends for the harm that a person has caused.
For me, true redemption and forgiveness aren’t earned by what a person says, but by what they do AFTER they’ve said the right words. I’m certainly not here to judge, but I would say that you are well and truly on the path to true redemption by virtue of your steadfast dedication to exposing the cult, ending its vile policies of coerced disconnection and Fair and Game and inoculating the uninformed about the very real dangers of becoming involved with this killer cult.
Although I was a cult member for a far shorter time than you, and never rose to a position of power and authority within the org that I’d joined, I feel the exact same kind of regret over my involvement in aiding and abetting a group that I now know was doing the exact opposite of the good that they were purporting to do. I influenced a few to join and supported many others in staying involved and for that I’m truly sorry and will continue to do what I can to make amends for those actions for as long as the corporate cherch, in its unreformed state, continues to exist.
I had lived with a secret for several decades, before posting it on Mike’s Blog. And that was having to disconnect from my Mom. She took it hard and attempted suicide. But, this was the place I chose to talk about it. The place I felt safe doing so. Many of you may have the same feelings…
Thanks, Mike. It doesn’t seem enough, but, it will have to do.
I am so sorry you had to do this.
OSD! I enjoy your lighthearted posts immensely I look forward to reading them. The one I enjoyed the most, however was not lighthearted at all. It was the one about your mother and you disconnecting from her. Thank you for all your comments but most of all thank you for peeling off the mask and sharing that. It was a valuable gut punch.
Sending you love OSD. ❤️❤️❤️
Mike, back in 2010 when I found out you and Dan Koon had left woke me up and affirmed that I was correct for walking away and that my instincts were correct that something was very wrong. Thank you .
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to make such supportive comments. I dont have enough minutes in the day to respond to each individually, so let this serve as thanks to everyone.
It was not my intention to solicit people saying nice things, but it has certainly been somewhat overwhelming to read your thoughts.
Thank you.
………..if you had ANY idea of what a rock you have been………………..:) 🙂 🙂 🙂
Yes, Mike, you are a rock for me and many of us! If you ever stop this blog I will feel the loss sorely. I read you first thing every morning.
Thank you Mr. Rinder for all your work.
I’ve enjoyed your blog for quite awhile now.
Your kinda the working mans angle on this nonsense.
I like your showing us the stats and photos of events and supplying information on how well the various units of scn are really doing.
The devil is in the details and it’s nice to see their details under a spotlight.
Mike, beautiful post and it comes across very sincere. I’ve said it here before but thanks again to you and Leah. Her for getting me here and you for keeping me here reading every day and confronting what this ‘church’ I had been a part of since the 70’s was really up to.
Now I thank you both for this show and keeping up the good fight.
Mike, I have been following Scientology and it’s abuses for close to a decade. Over the years, your voice has been one of the more consistant ones out there. You appear humble and sincere in your message. In the past, I noticed you never competed for personal attention when others had a “look at me” attitude. Such people must rue the day they started to act out in public.
Thank you for being a voice of reason, authentic about your journey and a helping hand to those who struggle. I am excited to see the show tonight! You and Leah make an amazing team! Debbie
Mike you’re evening your own score, and isn’t that what life is all about? Striving to be better? (ironic that this is exactly what drew our familes to Scn in the first place) You did do harm to some… unsure how many but I doubt it reaches the scale of the millions your posed to help now. You thought it was greatest good for the greatest number then, and you know it is now. Thank you for finding yourself again and sharing. <3
Thank you.
Just want to say Thank You for your actual integrity which I consider a great value.
Go on please.
Wow…finally a realsuccess story 🙂
Mike, Very moving post. I hope you got to keep the 30 hours of recorded air time, for future reference. But probably not.
Obviously you have put an incredible amount time and effort into this project. Somebody I know made a remark that you probably got paid for this, my response was- So what! He deserves every penny. You are helping end disconnection in a most effective method. This TV series. Thank you.
This post made me also wonder if David Miscavige would ever apologize for all the families he destroyed and would I ever forgive him (he did have a hand in wiping out my mother). I have concluded he never will.
Mike — so you know, I did get paid to consult. But not nearly what I would have earned and it has been detrimental to my financial situation overall to have been away so much and spent so many hours trying to make this series as good as I could. Scientology ALWAYS claims everyone’s motivation is money and greed.
Funny thing is, I know of no greedier or more money oriented organization than scientology. Anywhere.
Sciengreedyology. Just leave your money & we’ll get back to you…
You are a class act Mike. I have so much respect for what you do. Glad that you are featured on the show.
Heartfelt, and it shows. We all have made mistakes in our pasts, some off them that have negative impacts on others. Nobody can change the past, but we can impact the present and the future. This series that you are doing with Leah may be the most hard hitting in changing all that is bad about Miscavige run organization.
Great Work!
Thank you so very much Mike for writing and showing your feelings.
I too have remorse for whatever I caused, in my small part, in the dangerous cult. I will always continue to support and admire those who speak out, as my contribution to ending the insanity of scientology.
Bravo!
Mike, I’d like to echo the heartfelt sentiments of everyone that has commented before me.
You are teaching a master class in humility and “doing something about it” every day. We’re learning and, speaking for myself, not leaving until this class is dismissed once and for all.
(sorry if this is a duplicate comment, I typed up a slightly more eloquent version and think my phone ate it as I went to post. couldn’t remember my exact wording so please delete one or the other if necessary)
Thank you Mike, you are a real hero and because of you I got the courage to speak out about the abuses of disconnection and about LRH. It has been a hard road but yours has been way more tougher and I have great respect for you. I also thank Leah for her guts, she really has put the church on notice. Love you tons and continue doing what you are doing.
I appreciate you making amends to people you have hurt. Not all ex high ranking executives have done that. You must of known in your heart that what you and others were doing was wrong. You seem sincere. Good luck on the series. It is really important.
+1
Mr. Rinder,
I mainly know about your struggles and work through Tony Ortega’s reporting and John Sweeney’s book. In everything I’ve read your integrity comes through. I’m a “never in” but have been aware of Scientology since the late 1970’s (the office I worked in for thirteen years was less than a block away from the Philadelphia Org). I hope that you continue to experience healing from the ordeal you suffered in Scientology and pray that you continue to be sustained and nourished as you seek to live in service of truth.
Dear Mike,
Just know that you and your blog has most certainly helped me get my life back on track after leaving the church in late 2012.
I have 3 sister and their families that are still in and since my being declared in 2013? We’ve not spoke. That has been a huge loss as we were very close before this occurred.
Please keep up the good fight and hopefully some day soon-good will win out.
Dennis
Hello Dennis! Is this the same Dennis Smith who grew up in Kansas City, MO?
Dear Mike,
You are a good person. You have helped countless numbers of people, myself included. You have much to be proud of.
Harvey
Mike, At the risk of being a corny dufus, you have been a beacon in a sea of lies. Always showing the best course to take when the waves of darkness flooded in.
For your being there I am a better person and I thank you for that. And the “click here to donate” is now part of my lexicon now. I thank you for your past, present and future.
So great that Leah choose you to help create this series. I hope you get picked up for more episodes. There are so many stories to be told.
“So, let me set the record straight in case that is the impression that is created: I apologize to anyone I hurt, and I am truly sad that I was that person. The only thing I feel I can do about it let that be know, but more importantly, try to make good going forward. I certainly wish I had been smarter and had not believed so strongly that what I was doing all those years in the Sea Org was “saving the planet.” And that I had not bought into the idea that every decision is based on “the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics”
I am glad I read this post at home not at the office. It brought me to tears. A sincere thank you to Mike for helping me begin to confront demons from all those years ago that I am just beginning to understand I have.
I also echo Mike’s apology for being the person I became in scientology. I hope the good I quietly and anonymously do these days in some small part makes up for it.
The ripples your stone has made in the pond are important. ❤️
Excellent post Mike. I think all of us have been there when we realized that we were not only harmed by Scientology but that it is also a system for harming others in so many ways. That’s not all it is, of course, but when you see how it happens and that in the name of good, we did a lot of bad, we have to acknowledge that and let people we hurt know that was not what we really ever intended to do. At least not in the first place, before we fell for the idea that what we were doing was more important than any single individual’s right to think what they want. I have found a lot of catharsis in reaching out to some who I harmed and apologizing. It’s been really something to see what an effect that can create in helping them recover too. You do amazing and very commendable work and I have always admired the hell out of you for it. You and Leah truly are doing a major public service with this show.
I was just about to add to my comment to say that the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology is designed to turn nice people into perpetrators, and I saw that you got there sooner and said it better. Nice.
Very moved by your post Mike – moved to tears, actually – not only by the letter from the woman who thanked you but by your own apology. I have never and will never judge your past. What I have experienced from you is a man that was there for me when it felt like no one else was – and we had never met. I felt I could always feel your presence and support when the church decided to unleash its holy hell on me. People know you’re out here for them, I think to an extent you’ll never know and your presence alone gives solace.
Now, three years later, It has been a privilege to get to know you better and it’s a pleasure to call you a friend.
Thank you Mary. You and your family are a blessing to ours. The appreciation of the friendship is mutual.
Very nice piece Mike.
I think we all feel remorse about our time in the cult and our actions taken for the greater good. We all did our jobs to “save the planet” with the highest of fervor. I was lucky. My job was initially being a deckhand. A number of time, I actually risked my life climbing down the side of the Apollo with no safety rope attached, to put a fender in place and climbing up again, with just my arm strength. Or being pulled to the foremast in a bosun’s chair on a 1/2″ rope thru a pulley that was rusted to near breaking, just to reattach the blue Commodore’s flag. Numerous times I naively risked my life for the “cause” as a young 18/19 year old. I wasn’t a firefighter saving someone’s life – I was restringing a stupid flag or keeping the ship from scraping the dock.
Fortunately, after the deck, I just had administrative/management jobs. If DM hadn’t busted my wife I may have ended up working hand in hand with you in OSA. My last job at Int, which lasted about a month or so was overseeing the GO. They were so secret and had such hatred for the CMO, I may as well have been overseeing the CIA. There wasn’t any oversight.
The point I am trying to make though is that anyone who had been in the SO and no doubt the GO/OSA did whatever they could do to save the church, save the planet and forward the purpose of our group. It is just unfortunate that your job was OSA. Anyone with any form of compassion is going to forgive you for any harmful acts you perpetrated against them as if they were in your shoes at the time, I contend most would have taken similar actions.
Do I have anger and hatred towards my father for taking me out of high school to join the Apollo? Missing out on college, sowing my oats as a teenager, not having to start my life at 30 years old? Nope – I love and respect him to the highest degree. Do I have hatred towards my son who disconnected from us and we haven’t heard from in about 2 years? Nope – just love him and want him back.
Leah and you are my heroes Mike. Greatly appreciate everything you both do.
Thanks my friend. Means a lot to me.
If anyone tells you I’m crying….they’re lying. 😀
Mike, I’m a ‘never-in’ and I wrote to you once out of sheer frustration, feeling like what we were trying to get people to see was just not being seen or heard. I was at the point of banging my head against a wall after another persons eyes glazed over as I tried to tell them how bad Scientology is. It was frustrating to know all these terrible abuses were just running rampant and no one seemed to care.
Do you remember what you told me?
You said: Keep fighting, keep talking, keep speaking out. You ARE being heard, you just don’t know it yet. Hang on tight for the future (you clearly knew much that I didn’t) because you’re going to see that we are all being heard very soon.
It was only a couple months later that the announcement of Gibney’s documentary came. It is because of you that I didn’t quit, didn’t shut up, and kept yapping at the glazed-over eyes until they saw it for themselves. I know that apologizing is something you feel you need to do but please know….the good you’ve done since getting out far outweighs mistakes you made in the name of Co$. You’ve not only helped people who got out, you’ve pushed never-in’s to keep going.
Thank you Mike. That one simple email is something I will always be grateful to you for. I hope for nothing but good things for you and your family.
<3
Leah appeared briefly on the Kelly File on Fox tv last night. Kelly mentioned that it was the highest ever rating for an A&E tv series. 2.1 million I beleive she said.
ditto, NG.
Everybody needs a safe place to land. Mike’s blog was the place for me.
So glad it was here for you statpush. Hope you are doing well.
I remember old joke that Scientology is a one big reality show. Even Marty’s carwash video was one of funniest episodes…
Finally someone is making that into , reality show.
Thank you Leah and Mike .
And a ….
BIG hello from LRHs Bulgravia.
Mike – I’m a longtime reader of your blog but have never posted, though I post often at UB. Your story, losing a lengthy marriage, your eldest children, being attacked, walking through the Fire as many watched & said “he deserves it…” UGH – NO one deserves it!
I’m a never-in but recently lost a “bonus-son” to the cult. Prior to that, my husband worked for a Scio-owned biz who recruited us heavily then tried to talk him into leaving me (while I was pregnant) “before it was too late, as I was standing in the way of his path to success.” That’s when I found your blog & Tony’s. Husband told the now ex-boss to stuff it and I’ve become close to this community and this fight.
Your work helped keep my husband from seeing CO$ as something innocuous that could help him professionally. Your story touched me personally as I have 2 older sons from a 1st marriage (in college) and we, too, “started over” and have 2 little ones. I couldn’t fathom not having my older two in my life. I pray for your family’s reunification and am so thankful for the life you’ve made with Christie and your children.
From the outside – you’ve done SO much to help those getting out so I can’t fathom those that question your heart or motives, at this point. I do recognize my perspective isn’t as one who experienced any OSA “actions” back from when you were in, but still.
Your heart and integrity comes through in all that you do and I’m SO thankful for what you do and want to help however I can.
Leah has always been someone to whom I related (friends have compared me to her since Living Dolls lol) and I was sad she was still in. Never been a fan girl-type but she’s truly someone so genuine. When she got out, I was VERY happy. But to see her courage and all she’s doing now – WHOLE new respect! (THANK YOU LEAH!!!)
Sorry for the novel, but you should hear that your actions speak loudly & I’m sorry people still question your integrity or whether you were genuinely sorry for the past!
^^^^^^^^this is why. And I can’t even read al the rest of the comments til later because I have to leave for work and I’m a blubbering mess.
Mike, you have more than made up for any damage done. I think that the majority of us who were in the sea org, in the GO, or on staff for any length of time, were caught up in the belief that we were salvaging the planet…greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics. Mankind’s only hope.
It didn’t matter that the letter I anonymously typed up to Revenue Canada, to get them to investigate (harass) a critic of the church, was false, or that I infiltrated a mental health group with the purpose of destroying the organization…these were just typical ‘church’ activities to destroy perceived threats.
And at the time I was okay with doing that – because I believed.
Over the years, the compromises just keep on stacking up until you can no longer justify or reconcile how a so called religion, the ‘most ethical group on the planet’ could be so criminal, so uncaring, so cruel to even it own devoted followers, let alone a critic.
It used to amaze me when someone who had been a great supporter of the church, donated all their family time, piles of money, made numerous sacrifices, had a folder full of commendations, etc., left the church and just like that they were not only persona non grata, they were ‘enemies’. After having done so much for their ‘church’. Or a long devoted staff member got sick, or became too old to maintain the crazed pace of constant ’emergency’ and was put on the street like a sack of garbage. What a heartless group.
It takes a lot of backbone to stand up like you have and tell it like it was, like it is. Be assured, your outspoken presence has rescued more people and helped ensure that untold numbers are not taken in by the cult. Those of us who have ‘been in and done that’, know this to be true.
Very heartfelt post Mike.
I believe that regret IS a very useful and positive emotion. One that reminds us we are human and make mistakes. Some of them almost too shameful to voice out loud or even bring to mind.
But, if we can face them, they no longer are the demons that rule us. Or cause us to have delusions, or disassociate or cast others into a net of BAD and keep ourselves in a box of GOOD.
To me one of the biggest failings of scientology is the utter falsehood that LIFE is simple IF you just follow these steps (and pay either with money or your life)
LIFE IS messy. Unintended consequences mar even the best of intentions.
To me what is the most important for me is to dust myself off and start again. I do this every day. And to acknowledge that sometimes just being alive is enough!
And to go forward from there.
Wishing you and your family the best during this memory filled time of year.
Love,
Windhorse
That should have said ‘step’ not ‘stepisode’
I’m looking forward to tonight’s episode. I’m so happy that Leah took this stepisode, along with you, Tony Ortega and others to expose Sciencetology for the sham that it is.
Continue to live a full life. Love your family, reach out to family not with you. And forgive yourself. You tried then. You are trying now. I admire and respect you and your wife for doing what you do. Thank you.
I’m very much looking forward to tonight’s episode. The thing is though, you really had little need to post this proviso. On a daily basis here you “walk the walk”. We all have regrets in life but you have channeled your regrets into daily action. That Mom’s letter I’m quite sure is just the very tip of the iceberg in validating the fact that you have helped many. I think your sentence of atonement was up years ago, your continued effort continues to inspire, so Thank You.
Very moving post Mike. I for one was as dedicated to those precepts as you were and I did the same type of things as you did in the name of “never fear hurting another…..” Well, in my opinion you have done more to kill that concept than anyone on the planet. It is your actions that speak better than anything you might say to apologize for your past activities. Thanks to you and Leah for giving us who have been run through the grist mill a VOICE????
Thank you Robert. I will always be indebted to you for your kindness and help. Probably there are people who read this blog today who do not know what you had to endure because you helped me. I was happy to see that Tony Ortega has not forgotten. Hope to see you on Saturday.
I read the old Tony Ortega story about the anti bacterial ice machine. How did the story turn out?
As long as Mike and Robert are friends, the story turned out way better than scientology hoped.
One of my closest and best friends
Mike, as a never in, I only am aware of you & your life today thru your blog & actions. I’m sure we all have regrets from our past, but it is what we do now & in the future that defines us currently. What you have done since escaping & are doing today shows you to be an evolving & good person. Keep up the good work, Mike.
Wow Mike.. beautifully said. The fb letter is wonderful.. well done. Leah is my new hero.. and when you speak with her, let her know how many of us who “escaped”, and who have people still in and under the spell, thank her from the bottom of our hearts. My daughter still has a father in .. who used to be one of the top money makers in the S.O….he tried to disconnect from her 2 or 3 times and she wouldn’t let him… lol.. and now, he has simply faded out of her life totally and it has been over 3 years since they communicated. And it is because I am such an SP, because I started reading the internet posts…. and they were watching me do it. (Now THAT’s creepy)
Btw, how does one earn the standing to just post and not have every post moderated? Or do you moderate them all?
NO, every comment is moderated. I do not honestly have enough time to read every comment fully, especially if it is long. There are some people who have a history of commenting that I know will always have something useful to say and won’t be abusing any other commenters or making silly jokes that scientology could misinterpret as being some intent to commit a hate crime. Those I try to read more carefully. But often I do it on my phone and I do miss things I wish I had not allowed through sometimes. But not often and generally the commenters here are intelligent, polite and generally rather intellectually stimulating.
Brilliant post, Mike. Loved the “fan” letter and really got her positive intent. You done good and I look forward to meeting you one day.
Damn…I’m in tears already and haven’t even seen the show yet….
Can’t wait for tonight Mike.
Agree with the mother.Your posts are helping to get my still-in son back too.
Just look at how the cherch has shrank since the start of your blog.
Seat Mike, you are a man of honour. You have done a lot to help people out of a very subtle mind trap and you have hindered the fall of many into the abyss. We couldn’t have known how vicious this cult is when we started in the friendly environment of a mission or a class V Org. Thank you again for your courage and for all the positive things that you create day after day.
Alex De Valera, that is an important point. I started in a feel-good, really nice mission full of seemingly harmless people. And in the beginning and even for a few years, it was all pretty innocuous. But you can never stop there. Twelve years later and I had to plan my own escape.
So Mike, getting the word out about what is really involved with Dianetics and Scientology and where their road actually leads to is a HUGE deal.
It should read “great Mike”