Dan Sherman conjured up a verbal orgasm of gushing babble to hype the sheeple at the scientology New Year’s Celebration.
No need to attend the event, you can read all about it at scientology.org in 10 minutes and spare yourself the pain of “Standing O” calisthenics every time Dear Leader actually completes a run-on sentence.
At the outset, let’s remember that the “turn of the decade/century” event in 1999 was held at the LA Sports Arena — a FAR larger venue than the Shrine Auditorium. Given the unprecedented, massive, straight up and vertical expansion they claim to have experienced over the subsequent 20 years, why was this event not held at the Staples Center to accommodate the 20,000 people who wanted to attend? Or more accurately, the Rose Bowl which would fit the 10X expansion from 1999? With each of the ideal orgs in the almost ideal California bringing 10X expansion, how come there weren’t 100,000 clamoring to hear the Dear Leader spout forth his oddly cadenced Shermanspeak? There were nearly 10,000 in 1999. But only 6300 in 2019?
Now, to the hype. They get off to a roaring start:
Contact:
Media Relations
mediarelations@churchofscientology.net
(323) 960-3500
As a note: they don’t actually want anyone to call. If you do and ask for “media relations” you get an answering machine. At best you will be sent a message saying “Please put your questions in writing.”
A cursory attempt to do some fact checking about Lima, Peru.
Lima, Peru 2020 Crime report, https://www.osac.gov/Country/Peru/Content/Detail/Report/d2706afa-0f8f-4f42-8985-182a7851fd78 Peru went up a level to 2 – more dangerous than 2019.
Lima, Peru 2019 Crime report, https://www.osac.gov/Content/Report/565db443-fab2-414a-828b-15f4aeb98bc1, Peru was at level 1 – normal caution advised.
According to https://www.numbeo.com/crime/in/Lima, crime in Lima has increased “very high” in the last 3 years (updated in 2020).
When a PR type says “thousands” what it means is “it’s such a small number that we don’t want to say exactly what it is because we’re embarrassed.” You can bet if it was a significant number, they would have said something like, “More than 20,000 … ” or even “Tens of thousands turned out.” Simply saying thousands keeps it vague — could mean only 2,000, could mean 11,000 — and is designed to stop anyone from asking, “Could you be more specific on the turnout?”
Verbal dysentery reigns (rains?) supreme.
You’re nailing it, Mike! Great piece! You had me at “Standing O Calisthenics”!! So.dang.true. So.glad.I’m.out!!!!!!! (but it pains me to know others are still swallowing DM’s drivel…sigh)
I live in Texas…what’s the name of the pizza chain so I can try them out? Oh, that’s right, they always speak in generalities so they can’t be called on something later. Well, if anyone has a clue I’ll happily check them out and give a report.
Well formulated Mike.
Hate to break it to the mental and physical midget that is DM but the end of this current decade isn’t until January 1, 2021…
I thought “time was the ultimate lie”. If that’s true, why would that be their big theme? Also, thank God they are doing their own printing now, they put several printers out of business over the years.
“Thousands congregate in Los Angeles to celebrate the culmination of the greatest period of growth in Scientology history.”
More likely, hundreds -or tens- of scn staff dragooned into going sleepily dragged their leaden bodies as punishment for the obvious crashing stats over the last 4 decades.
“Thousands” meaning approximately 100 people and each with strands of hair, each strand is a separate entity of CSI, therefore using word nonsense “Thousands” of Scientologists.
Taaadaaaaa!
He could say that all with a straight face because, in his teenie, tiny, ice-cold stony heart, he BELIEVES his own BS. Somehow, even though I’m sure he sees the reality from time-to-time —for short periods— he’s deluded himself sufficiently to accept the fantasy as truth. The whiskey helps, I’m sure.
“…spare yourself the pain of ‘Standing O’ calisthenics every time Dear Leader actually completes a run-on sentence.”
OMG, hilarious!
“He says this shit with a straight face!”
Too much to quote that’s making me LOL.
You’re in superb form, Mike!
I read the venue-selection section and immediately wondered if he sprained his tongue from all his “in cheek” calisthenics. My mouth aches in empathy. Seems someone was inspired by all the sherman-speak. I don’t have the patience to check out scn’s video of the event from past experiments to see what the hoopla was all about. I just can’t DO it! Having to sit through that peacok’s self-aggrandizing preening is cruel and usual punishment for the clapping seals still in. I hope some of them woke up as a result of the cognitive dissonance of this year’s reg-fest masquerading as an actual celebration. Is there ANYthing that scentology does which ISN’T a masquerade, play-acting, or straight-up lies? [rhetorical]
Oh Know! I loved this line too. 🙂
How lame. “he only facilities of their kind and capable of producing more than 250,000 books and nearly 1 million CDs per week… ” Interesting. I just cleaned my hall closet and Mr Free and I threw away a box of CDs because we can’t play them on our new computers. They don’t have disk drives, have not for years. Another cult fail.
Friends of mine down at the marina used to use old CDs as bird-repellers. String them up with light twine, tie them along something and they’d flash in the light any time a breeze blew. Trouble is,the danged birds got used to them so were no longer scared away. Too, they could be dangerous if a strong wind came up and blew them around.
CDs are soon to be curiosities to show the grandkids how the “good old days” were… Perhaps old ones can be repurposed as “clay pigeons” for shooting practice. Problem is, I’ve still got a ton of them from when I used them for backups. Gotta find new uses for the danged things.
I’m in full agreement, Free: I haven’t read anything in print for years, and if I want a CD’s amount of something, I’ll d/l it on a gig-speed network.
We’ve got PILES of the Sunday NY Times my wife keeps meaning to get to, and it’s much easier for me to read what I’m interested in on the computer screen. Occasionally, I’ll listen to the radio (for traffic reports) but CDs and books & magazines went the way of the dodo.
“Verbal orgasm of gushing babble…” LOLOL. That’s the best, most perfect description of Shermanspeak every constructed.
I absolutely love your way with words, from the beginning paragraph through to m-f—r, to the end!!! You have a wonderful way of painting the true picture with words. Thanks!
“Due to the unprecedented expansion of Scientology in the last decade, I am happy to announce plans for our newest Ideal Org on Mars. This was always LRH’s intention and we’re making plans with the Interstellar Landlord Office to accomplish this monumental step. Become a planet builder for as little as a $10,000 donation. Of course, most of you will want to give more, but I won’t judge you if that’s all you can currently come up with. Notwithstanding the current onslaught of psych based propaganda, and inasmuch as we have borne the brunt of their venemous attacks for decades, we are the causative ones in this desperate attempt by the vested interests to eradicate man’s only chance for eternal freedom before the lights go out completely. So I say to all of you, what was once only a vague dream will soon be a magnificent reality, demonstrating the far reaching extent of our priceless tech beyond any previous wog achievements combined to date. Good night and Ron bless.”
COB
Somewhere in his lollipop head, COB dreams of the day when he no longer has to refer to LRH at all.
I decided to see if I could track down the pizza entrepreneur mentioned, and it’s obviously Mr Jim’s Pizza, which even has a page about Scientology on its website (https://mrjims.pizza/about_sci.cfm). A Google search also reveals the owner will be featured on Scientology TV’s “Meet a Scientologist” series this week. However, the chain was founded in 1975, so having 42 locations isn’t exactly meteoric growth. By comparison, Blaze Pizza, founded in 2011, already has over 300 locations.
Good work. Certainly less impressive, and now that you’ve given a context.
Another suspicious set of numbers: “more than 4,000 seminars and so empowered more than 80,000 professionals”
That works out at an average of 1 seminar per day for 11 years, 20 people per seminar. Sounds like more inflated statistics to make this decade look good.
https://images.app.goo.gl/rkkCizgfFCHWCNHt9
Why is it that when I read each of the quoted sections I automatically hear DM’s grinding voice?
It’s embedded in my brain. Blech.
Thanks for the review and honest point of view on it all.
Thanks for this article, Mike, reminding me how thankful – how DEEPLY thankful I am to not have to attend these things anymore. And to not have to be CALLED anymore to attend these things! The dreaded phone calls… almost as stressful as the dreaded event itself…thank you, thank you, thank you, God!
To the tune of “Winter Wonderland” –
Cell phone rings
Have to answer
D’rather not
Prefer cancer
But Staff will deplore
That them we ignore
Callin’ bout the New Year’s Eve Event.
“Please confirm
You will be there”
“Reconfirm
You will be there”
They called me before
They’ll call 10 times more
Must attend the New Year’s Eve Event.
“This event is not like any other!”
“You will be so very blown away!”
Ditch the plans I made with Dad and Mother
So tell them for the 10th time “Yes, OK”.
STAFF:
“Please confirm
You’re attending”
“Reconfirm
You’re attending”.
ME:
“Like 10 times before
I’ll tell you once more,
‘YES, I will attend the New Year’s Eve Event’ “.
Love it Aquamarine. Well, I guess after the fall these folks could maybe get jobs as telemarketers. It’s not like they would not be used to people hating them. The exception this time would be hearing the sound of a phone being closed. Thank goodness I still have a couple land lines where I have the pleasure of slamming the phone down. For a while there I was using an air horn, but figured that might actually be harmful.
Thanks, Peggy.
This is true: for 10 (TEN) years I paid $50 per month for a cell phone that I ONLY used to make and receive Scientology calls. Now, I know I could have kept the same phone and just had 2 numbers, but PSYCHOLOGICALLY it relieved my stress having not only 2 separate numbers but 2 different cell phones.
Right after 9/11 phone calls from one Scientology entity or another became non-stop.
My org, other orgs, Flag, IAS regges, WISE – just non-stop.
Events, briefings; extra course time. Staff recruitment. Sea Org recruitment, The Congresses. The Basics. The Basics after I bought a set bought. The Basics after I’d bought a 2nd set and donated it. Have I bought the Basics yet calls from not only my org but other orgs.
“Don’t you people ever talk to one another? How is this POSSIBLE? Don’t you keep notes, and share them, something like that?”
Apparently they did not.
It was insane.
The extra phone with the Scientology-only number cost me approx $50 per month, $600 per year, ultimately costing me about $6000. No small sum for me. Not peanuts for me, by any means.
But I would have gone out of my mind without it! So as ridiculous as it may seem, I still consider it money well spent.
I kept my sanity. I kept my stress levels down and stayed “in comm” with them. The cult never suspected what I was doing. Before I left someone in whom I had told ratted me out.
Many’s the time throughout those years I’d hear my Scientology phone vibrating while I was carrying on business or a personal conversation on my “real” phone, I’d smile inwardly while it buzzed in the depths of my purse.
6K well spent. And it was fun cancelling that cell phone account when I left 🙂
Money well spent for sure Aquamarine!
I am so happy you are out of that insanity.
We all know what Scientology thinks you should have done instead of spending that money on a second cell phone.
👍
Thanks, Mary 🙂
@Aqua. I had (notice past tense) my CPAP supplies with Lincare, a WISE affiliate hidden in layers of corporations, but a WISE affiliate. I cancelled yes, CANCELLED them a 17 months ago. They hated it because I was on auto ship. They auto shipped so much stuff I am still using some of the stuff they shipped when I was with them. They shipped the absolute max they could bill insurance for. I will be out in a few months and my new CPAP supplier (local) is providing me the small amount of items I need.
After getting calls reminding me to refill my supplies every 3 days, I blocked their number. They still call. How often? Well, there is a blocked message on my phone from January 3, 2020 and one from January 7, 2020. Yep, they call at least 2 times a week still even though they have not done business with me for 17 months. I owe them $0. And yes, they send me letters too. Oops! They accidentally fall in my shredder. The message is always the same “we are calling about your CPAP order. If you have any questions or concerns about your existing supplies…(etc. etc. etc. repeating their number 3 times.
There is no way I will ever ever ever order from them again. I hope some OSA bot reading this will let them know that outflow doesn’t equal inflow (ok you can quit laughing now, I know, I know).
Anyway, I do not feel at all bad that some poor person is missing out on their status upgrade because I am not receiving way more CPAP supplies than I could possibly use in a lifetime. I hope they see the light and escape like the rest of us do. So glad I do not have to answer any calls either.
What a nightmare, Valr. Sure, outflow. Ok. But THIS sort of thing is harassment. its JAMMING a communication line. Thank God you’re rid of them.
BTW, you can block them TOTALLY if you want (meaning, not just block them so their calls go automatically into VM, but block them utterly phone-wise and text-wise.)
To do this though, you have to call your cell phone provider and have it done on their end. On my plan there’s a charge for this.
I totally blocked about 10 culties’ cell phone numbers when I left.
They can’t call me; they can’t text me. Costs me $5 a month and I can block 12 numbers – 12 or 15.
NOTHING gets thru. I’ve also blocked a number of them from emailing me. These actions also give me peace of mind.
If any of them truly want/need to reach out, they have my address and can write me a regular letter. But I get no more cult promo so I can safely assume I’m deadfiled.
Blocking them on my phone has been great. I stay away from them, and they no choice but to stay away from me.
NO CONTACT.
Once I am done, I am DONE. They want nothing to do with me, and I want nothing to do with them! Good plan!
Most smartphones have a ‘block caller’ option. I get tons of strange robocalls. I don’t answer any number that I do not know. On iPhone, after the ringing stops you go to ‘recent calls’ and there is an ‘i’ in a circle after the number for information. When you click this it gives you options to make this number a contact etc. but down at the very bottom is ‘block this caller’. When you block the caller no more worries and you don’t have to pay extra. In the settings you can view your list of blocked numbers in case you want to unblock one at a later time. On Android smartphones the option varies based on the Android version and the phone type but it’s there. I googled my mothers phone type and found it easily. Some non smartphones may have the ability but just about all newer smartphones have the ‘block caller’ ability built in. I use it all the time. It also blocks texts.
Linear13, most illegal robocalls now display a fake call back # that changes with every call. Make these blocking features useless against them. Just FYI for future
Yes I’m well aware of that fact I used to be on the ‘other’ side…hehe…one of those who sold and made the devices to spoof calls and caller ID…amongst other things with questionable legality…hehe…but that’s why I said I never answer ANY number I do not know. If it’s someone that needs to get in touch with me they can leave a message and I will return the call. That’s also why my killfile has multiple numbers. It’s easier this way than to pay every month…just my opinion…
Linear,
Thanks for this info. I’m tech-ignorant and believe it or not still have a “DumbPhone!”
Wynski,
You’re right. I get about 4 or 5 of these fake calls each day. Computer generated with similar numbers to those of people I call and who have just called me. When I pick up there’s no one there. When I call back there’s no one there.
@Aqua, the phone doesn’t ring, and the voicemail is under blocked voicemail, so I just delete it, so they’re blocked. I find it humorous at this point. Some poor sot is thinking “this time she will answer, this time I will get out of ethics trouble.” Nope.
My phone actually has a feature so if you are not on my contact list, you are sent directly to voicemail and if you want a callback, you leave a voicemail and I decide if you’re worth calling back. Most times I block the caller. I’ve actually had one friend who wasn’t a contact that I added. It’s glorious not to get the spam.
Got it on everything, Valr. Sounds like heaven for me personally if not for my business. Time for me to transplant myself into the 21st century, tech wise.
I’ve also enjoyed your posts about how you file, in your business, i.e., ” read it, scan it, shred it”, Love it! My DREAM is to one day be rid of ALL unnecessary paper.
“…verbal orgasm of gushing babble to hype the sheeple….”
You’ve got quite a few gems in there but this one started me off reading with a big laugh.
Yeah everyone, please read the church of scientology’s own site but please don’t Google “scientology.” Either way the only one this crap makes happy are those still in, especially the old timers🙉🙈🙊 who can use it to justify their own culpability in the abuses committed by this church and its leader.
By putting current $cieno books into digital form, the Clampire makes it easier for researchers to quote the dreck and do some heavy duty J & D. Print still has it’s place and will live on as long as books are printed.
What the Clampire really needs is a charismatic speaker who can really work that ARC triangle and bring the crowds in. Thankfully, no one in $cientology fits that bill.
I suppose that’s why they no longer issue ethics orders like SP declares and Findings and Recommendations.
They’re probably also scared of somebody pirating digital books. It took real publishers a long time to accept the new digital-publishing model.
Don’t feel bad Mike, I didn’t get that email either.
“a future that’s already preordained as glorious.”
“He says this shit with a straight face!”
Ditto. My exact reaction was to laugh and then wonder how he could possibly expect anyone to take him seriously about such overblown boasting. (Then again, I have thought that since before the election of the current president of another blowhard, so it still seems to be a trend.)
And they put “what is absolutely manifest destiny is all of us together for the next ten years” in a press release!
I could agree that it’s entertaining. Shall we take bets on what percentage of that crowd will still be together 5 years from now?
Even the most brainwashed of the sheeple Can’t be buying this; unfortunately, it’s probably more a case of most of them being too old, with no friends or family to lean on, to be able to leave at this point in time. On the other hand, I have No doubt the younger ones should be leaving by the bus loads. It can’t be much longer . . . Even the Runt seems to be running out of ‘steam’.
“Even the most brainwashed of the sheeple Can’t be buying this;”
Belynda, unfortunately, strong evidence exists that, for one reason or another – too old, too invested, too intimidated and afraid, born into the cult with no knowledge of any other way, long term habit of automatic compliance – whatever the reason(s), said sheeple can, do and will believe anything – ANYTHING – the cult tells them to believe , or, if they don’t actually in their heart of hearts believe it, operate as if they do.
I wonder how many bottles of alcohol Miscavige consumed in the last ten years. Now that would be a “stat” to report. One a day would be 3,650. I bet the number is closer to 5,000. Get real Scientologists. One of you or many of you just walk in on his drunken day and move him out.
-Mass emailing crap from a Yahoo address pretty much guarantees that 50% of the emails will get circular filed by an anti-spam program.
I was going to say that this is very unprofessional. It needs to come from a domain that is owned by the entity.
Every time I remember Dan Sherman speaking it lands my memory into the agony one has to endure while listening to him. This involved me and my colleagues too.
Meteoric disaster after disaster is what miscabage has obtained in the last decade…media exposures, the Aftermath, numerous lawsuits and so on.
More to come miscavige.
I know, Sylvia, and not just the sentences that went on forever, but Miscavige’s technically enhanced “deep” voice intoning with false resonance, up and down, up and down, on and on, on and on…zzzzzzz.
If we hadn’t been forced to stand up and clap regularly I could/would have happily fallen asleep!
I respond well to the Winston Churchill type of speech. Brief, simple, declarative sentences that deliver a powerful message. Simple, yet evocative words derived mostly from the Anglo-Saxon part of English as opposed to the Latin/Norman.
But then, when a group has dismal statistics, when there IS no powerful positive message, when there’s nothing really going on, when there’s no “there” there, then of necessity the group has to razzle-dazzle with language. Language is then of necessity used to HIDE the true message and of course, this is Dan Sherman’s forte – sounding good, talking a lot, saying almost nothing of substance.
All the HGCs at Flag have TVs playing DM yapping at the latest event.
Excruciating.
“He then delved into the “sectors of scientology” and the proof of their astonishing, watershed, epic expansion in a decade is:
Association for Better Living and Education (ABLE):
In Lima, Peru, a 41-year police veteran became an emissary of The Way to Happiness and helped cut crime rates in Lima by 20 percent.”
There are some folks in Bagio, Philippines, where TWTH folks are playing the ‘secular’ card, that would love to see this.
https://tribune.net.ph/index.php/2020/01/05/baguio-city-govt-in-constitutional-controversy/
O/T. On 1/5/20 at Muhammad Mosque 27 in Los Angeles, Scientology Freedom Medal Winner Nation of Islam Minister Tony Muhammad:
said regarding the assassination of Soleimani, “They want to make the Arab world like America, Homosexuals, cowards, thieves, robbers, murderers, strip clubs. Gay parades”;
said God will destroy White people;
said American soldiers are “rent-a-cops” and “cowards.” “They didn’t really want to be in the Army. That was the only job they could get”;
regarding the assassination of Gaddafi, called Secretary of State Clinton a “heifer” and a “dog,” and called President Obama a “little sissy” and a “punk”; and
again blamed “the Jews” for slavery and again promoted the three book series “The Secret Relationship Between Blacks And Jews.”
Please note the flags of the United States and Israel in the final image of Tony Muhammad receiving the Scientology Freedom Medal.
Twitter video excerpt: https://twitter.com/ISNOINews/status/1214549693017001991
ESMB Redux post with full video: https://exscn2.net/threads/scientology-freedom-medal-winner-nation-of-islam-minister-tony-muhammads-anti-semitic-racist-homophobic-anti-american-etc-statements.52/post-14311
/
Yes, another grand achievement under miscavige’s watch was the marriage between the church of scientology and the nation of islam. It’ll be interesting to see how that plays out.
It’ll be interesting to watch how the rest of miscavige’s stellar “accomplishments” play out in the next ten years:
How many more families torn apart.
How many more bankruptcies.
How many more blows.
How many more lawsuits and how they play out.
How many empty building built and/or sold.
How many more consolidations of orgs.
How many more books from those who leave.
How many more documentaries.
How many more TV/Netflex specials/series.
How many more bottles of scotch consumed in the late nights and wee hours of the morning.
Dishing Scientology’s ACTUAL stats – well done, Mary! Still LOLing btw.
Straight up and vertical please!! LOL