We don't have toilet paper But we DO have air conditioning. So, come on down and let's make a deal... The best parking We don't have toilet paper either. But we absolutely have the BEST parking. And it's the ONLY way Denver org can make any income and there isn't much time left in the season before the barren Broncos/Avalanche/Nuggets season sets in. From: Bruno Bergeron To: Subject: Whoop! Whoop! Is that the best title for an email or what? If you're reading this right now then say YES! lol OK we are now more than half way through the Rockies season so … [Read more...]
Miami Ballpark Completion (not really)…
Hooray, Miami finally completed their ballpark. I understand from watching Jon Oliver's show that it has fishtanks in the walls behind homeplate (something to do with the team being the Marlins apparently). Oh, my error. Apparently this has something to do with ideal orgs. And it seems, in spite of the headline, they didn't actually complete raising the "ballpark figure" -- a euphemism for some interim step they can announce as a "completion" -- because after a LOOONG time "Mighty Miami" is still not capable of getting and completing an ideal org building. In fact, they constantly tout … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
It's a surprise... Don't tell anyone. The Wonders of the ALL NEW Clearing Course Just a small question. Wonder how this person knows just how much bs he has been fed about how the course is now "shorter" thanks to COB. Oh, that aesthetic course pack... It made all the difference to his ability to get through the "new" GAT OT II. They actually promote this idiocy? Hot Off The Press Is is going to try to attain SH Size again. Perhaps they can scratch their way to the size they were 25 years ago. Unlikely -- no other org has … [Read more...]
It’s ALL About The Money
Normally I would have simply included a couple of these in the Thursday Funnies and been done with it. But this week it hit saturation level and I felt it deserves a single post that gathers together a sample of one week of pitches from the most OT org on earth. The top of the bridge. It doesn't get any better than this, what every scientologist is striving for. The Moneywinds no longer seems to operate on any pretense about "delivering service" -- they are ONLY about helping people make money so they might extract it from them. What is that saying about money being the lowest motivating … [Read more...]
Thursday Funnies
Brummie bananas These just get more and more bizarre. Bird's custard is a reason to give money for an ideal org? Oh, man, if only you had mentioned earlier that Jasper Carrott (?) was from Birmingham I would have turned over everything I own... He Who Shall Not Be Named... Was there a sighting of a pompadour behind the podium? Russian? How appropriate of nothing.... Mr. Rabies is in town You can earn yourself a special commendation if you bring 5 people with you On the hunt for the … [Read more...]
The Idiocy Is Multiplying
These ideal org promotional pieces are getting crazier and crazier. I wasnt sure there was anywhere to descend to, but this one really goes beyond bizarre. 1.2 million miles flown in honor of ideal orgs? WTF does that mean? Flown by whom? Why? And can you believe those names? It's like Grade School debate team names. Second to none in Chicago? Well, second to Miami and Detroit. Orlando - Bringing the Real Magic (it's quite a trick to be beaten by Puerto Rico, Battle Creek and Long Island.... The next ideal org ballpark completion is on the runway. Ladies and gentlemen, we … [Read more...]
Valley Hype Rides Again
Quinn the Eskimo is back, back, back!!!!! And he rode triumphantly into town armed with a quiver full of exclamation points and a hefty garbage bag full of hype. The ridiculousness of this email has got to be seen to be believed. From all the earlier hype you may have been wondering just how close they were to achieving their goal of being able to begin construction. Well, Quinn has kindly solved the problem. It's just a "nominal" "Ballpark balance" of $2,100,000. Chickenfeed. Could buy a nice building for this org that would be too big with that "nominal" amount. Just … [Read more...]
The IAS Makes Us Big Beings
The Big Being concept is spreading. More and more people are trying to shoehorn in on the exclusive club reserved for COB and Mr. Cruise. I wonder if the IAS is telling people that giving them money makes them "Big Beings", like giving money for ideal org buildings makes you a "humanitarian"? Seems like this is a good possibility. Sooner or later the IAS can do away with scientology altogether. They don't really need it -- you can get all the case gain and OTness and become a Big Being just by giving them money. No need to be bothered with any "bridge" or redoing the bridge or buying … [Read more...]
Super Duper Power
Just shows you how valuable those OT levels are -- the second rundown of SP, the rundown developed to revive "dead" staff is the best thing this OT VIII ever did! OT VIII is obviously not what it is cracked up to be. It costs a LOT of money to get there. With the promise of having attained along the way all the abilities of Clear. Then removing ALL the entities that are otherwise causing you not to really be "clear" on OT III. Then doing them again on OT V. And then again on OT VII -- this time to make you cause over life and your body transparent. And then finally no more amnesia on the w … [Read more...]
The SUMP
After a quick venture into the world of Hubbard Envoy Extraordinaires yesterday, today we turn to another of the great fairytales of planetary clearing. This one is a bit different as it has been moving forward WITHOUT the need for all money to be raised from suckers donors first. Miscavige decided to go ahead with this boondoggle as part of his tireless efforts to show the world how fast his empire is expanding, and as an afterthought it became yet another fundraising gimmick. As if they needed another one. In reality, only the L. Ron Hubbard Hall is less necessary than this white el … [Read more...]