This may be one of the best ever admissions to leak from the bubble.
Not only is the SuMP doing phony photoshoots, they are PAYING people to show up to try to get enough of a crowd that it doesn’t look like the few lonely losers that are the backbone of the “Santa Barbara” “ideal org.”
This call to arms says so much — they staged a beach event in Santa Barbara, but it looked measly.
So, the bright sparks decided to re-do the “Santa Barbara” beach event in LA so they could get LA people to attend to look like they were from Santa Barbara.
And though they could import some Sea Org members as “extras” apparently they didn’t think they could pull off enough of them so they offered Starbucks cards to anyone who would show up! Hell, if they stood at the beach and told people they would give them Starbucks if they stood in for a photo shoot they would get a ton of people. But of course, if anyone asked what it was about, nobody would participate, or they would worry they might expose the sham…
And just to demonstrate the organizational genius of these poor fools, the same morning people are supposed to show up at Santa Monica at 1pm, they are informed that the location has changed to Marina Del Ray. We will no doubt see some version of this at the next Maiden Voyage event. When you see the “Santa Barbarians” frolicking in the sand, you will know they are simply extras brought in for the occasion to make it appear Santa Barbara actually has a staff and field that warrants a $20 million building.
“you had me at starbucks card…”
(paraphrase “Jerry Maquire”)
Thanks Mike!
This is great stuff.
…
When the footage is later used, it’d be fun to see a bookend post – this coupled with how they spun it.
rah rah sis boom bah!
…
rah,rah, rah, sis, [fizzle], bah-humbug. Ain’t nuttin’ booming, Dwarfenführer.
$10 Starbucks card and money towards gas? Even my 16 year old grandson would say “pass”. My 12 year old granddaughter got $60 for letting a friend’s 6 year old daughter spend the night at her house and play games and watch movies. The mom dropped off and picked up the child. My guess is that the “money towards gas” would not cover what they paid to get there so they are paying for the “privilege” of faking a beach party with no drinks, food or well…party. Sounds dismal.
If scientology wasn’t officially a joke yet, it sure is now!
Scientology is make believe. Now, there’s nothing wrong with make believe! But, when you have to pay to play make believe…that’s insanity on a whole new level.
It is almost a bit sad-but not for me and not for all or most who read this. What is worse is that its probably too cold to swim yet. I hope someone tells the fuckhead who tries to run all this b.s.
exccla: If you think it’s cold water on the left coast, you ain’t been on the Jersey shore, where the water temps rarely get above 60. Suspect it’s about 50 degrees in the Atlantic City surf this month. You guys are wimps.
Jere the water temp at Atlantic City beaches reaches 75 in late summer. That NEVER happens in Santa Barbara
To lighten things up, I think I’ll do my parody today.
THE DWARF
(To the tune of Ray Stevens’ “The Streak”)
Announcer: This is your action news reporter live on the scene at the electronics store where there seems to have been a disturbance. Pardon me, sir, but did you see what happened?
Hillbilly: Yeah, I did! We was goin’ through th’ store, Ethel wanted some DVDs and one of them televisions began playin’ that thar Scientology Network! I yelled out DON’T LOOK, ETHEL!
Too late, she was a’ drinkin’ the Kool-aid!
Look at him run!
Look at him run!
And he’s only five foot one!
Oh, yes, they call him the Dwarf!
Look at him, look at him, really knows how to morph!
He’s the midget that you see
Pushing Scientology!
He’s such an awesome little dwarf!
Announcer: This is your action news reporter live downtown where there seems to have been a disturbance. Pardon me, sir, but did you see what happened?
Hillbilly: Yeah, I did! Them thar Scientologists was runnin’ their book table and yellin’ out to people ‘Free Stress Test!’. I seen Ethel walkin’ over there and I called out DON’T SIT IN THAT CHAIR, ETHEL!
Too late, she went and bought that damn book!
Oh yes, they call him the Dwarf!
Look at him, look at him! Wish he’d jump off a wharf!
He’s as slick as can be
Fleecing folks like you and me!
Oh, no, here comes the little dwarf!
Announcer: This is your action news reporter at the baseball game where there seems to have been a disturbance. Pardon me, sir, but did you see what happened?
Hillbilly: Yeah, I did! We was comin’ out of the game an’ there was one of them Scientologists givin’ out them pink Oh Cee Ayy’s! An’ I called out DON’T TOUCH THAT, ETHEL!
Too late, she was signed up fer lessons!
Oh, yes, they call him the Dwarf!……….
Hillbilly: There’s that damn Scientology Network again! And there’s that dwarf, and….wait! Who’s that up there with him? Ethel? Is that you, Ethel? YOU GET OUT OF THAT NAVY UNIFORM RIGHT NOW, ETHEL! No wife of mine is goin’ in no Sea Org! If you don’t git back here, our marriage is over! What the hell do you mean ‘Forced Disconnection’? Dammit, Ethel, say somethin’!
ETHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Beautiful!!!!!
Wow! That was loud!
So was Ray Stevens.
So clever and funny!
“Spirit of play.”
… like playing musical chairs, for example? You thought you’d never have to answer for that little game, didn’t you Miscavige?
Scientology just outright sucks, and everyone knows it.
Ah yes, the last minute switch-a-roonie of venue. Wouldn’t want any bare butted apostates messing up things up would they?
This is truly one of the signs of the apocalypse for an organization: When you can’t get folks to show up for a party (!!!) at one of the most beautiful beaches in the world (SB). Not even as an organization known for its arm-twisting.
….And when they may not even have enough local members left, to stage a plausible-looking “crowd” shot, or to pretend to be having a party.
If you think about it, it’s really bizarre that they are staging a shot for one of their orgs to use at a propaganda rally, that will probably end up being mostly people from other orgs, on a beach so far away that on the East cost it might be in a different state….
p.s. Also, thinking it through, if SuMP was really intending to do the re-shoot with a significant number of locals, they would have just done it again in Santa Barbara, and gotten people from the LA area to come up, rather than the other way around. They’ve apparently given up on the Santa Barbara org, though the locals from that org have apparently desperately tried to “make it go right” and organize people to put in something of an appearance for what is supposed to be their own video. Scientology is being run more and more on Potemkin Village style smoke and mirrors.
Mike, someone will need to create special deprogramming centers, and man them with ex-scientologists who survived readjustment to the real world. I’d like to be there when Ron tries to talk David down off of the ledge. I could yell “jump man – you might fly”. Ha!
Jump man – I’m POSITIVE you’ll fly.
Worse, they don’t get they need to LIE and need to “buy’ people to attend in order to make a film that will pretend all is fine inside the cult.
Miscavige was right for once with his why of “The blind leading the blind’ No matter what, some parishioners don’t see how their “Church” is dying in front of them.
Also this reminded me when Flag Sea Org members were transported at all hours, for several days to the movies to watch the horrendous Battle Field Earth. Eventually the truth was published: one of the worst movies ever.
And eventually, the truth about current Scn under Miscabage will also be published: empty, lies left, right and center, crimes and a scam.
I believe it was THE WORST movie made.
Many people have pegged “Battlefield Earth” as the worst movie ever made, including Rotten Tomatoes, IIRC. I’ve never gotten through to the end: Keep turning the DVR off in disgust. Worst script, worst acting, lighting, audio, makeup, and… Did it HAVE a plot?
A beach party movie? Isn’t that special. Beach Blanket Bingo was never like this. What next, a biker flick?
New requirement for all Ideal Orgs:
GREEN SCREENS!
They could save the money for the Starbucks card, save the money for gas and save on pleading with people just by photo shooping people in to the pics like they’ve done so many times in the past. Oh but I forgot, Mike exposed that too!!!! Been done and exposed already.
Naked and baldly spread eagled. This desperation is so pathetic.
The only thing about this that makes me smile is what it stands for and what it proves. The shrinking world of Scientology continues to contract.
You can practically hear the creaks and cracks as people ghost away and empty rooms settle alone. Empty rooms in ideal morgues with 60,000 ft² with 35 rooms. Either too cold or too hot or too stuffy as economies turn off the air conditioner, economies turn off the heater, economies turn off the hot water heater, economies let the toilet paper run out.
Tic toc.
I lived in the Philippines for some years and if you go to a public bathroom you can buy one sheet of TP if you urinate, and three sheets for the other part. Think of the money the little guy could make selling TP, instead of letting it run out. In truth I always carried a roll in my wife’s purse. Never did figure that 3 sheet thing out.
Grasshopper, clear your mind. Focus on that 3 sheet thing. I’m sure you will figure it out…
TP with his picture on it.
Ha.. ha.. ha. Lol
Wow, the fail just keeps on coming.
The underlying problem may be that the Santa Barbara AKA Ventura org is one of the small and weak ones down to 30 or 40 active members, maybe even as small as Orlando. I can’t even find a publicly accessible Facebook page for the org – another sign of an org failing even to keep up appearances – but a couple of fairly recent pictures archived over at ESMB and in pieces here show about 20 people, and in one case around 35.
So it may be that they don’t even have enough members left for a good “crowd” photo, so it’s not surprising that they’re moving the shoot to Scientology’s stronghold in LA, where they could also pull in nearby org staff and Sea Org if necessary. Given that they’ve moved the shoot to a location 2 hours’ drive South of Santa Barbara, they may have tacitly given up on the locals.
Plus, moving the org to a location that is a 30 minute drive further South – and into an ugly nearly 40 year old brutalist style inspired office building – may not exactly have all the local membership enthused about what is going on. I think that even by California standards, that’s a long enough drive, particularly for members who lived North of the old location to begin with, that it’s going to cause some drop-off in participation and ultimately membership.
Oh, and at the current IRS mileage reimbursement rate of about 55 cents a mile – which sometimes even underestimates the actual gas and maintenance expenses of vehicles – the nearly 200 mile round trip from Santa Barbara would actually cost someone around $100. Anyone want to bet Scientology’s “money towards gas” isn’t anywhere close to that?
If you break it down PM, all of the Cults money goes towards gas. In the end all Dave produces is gas which flows from both major orifices in an either straight up or straight down pattern 24/7.
Yo Dave,
Say something good buddy. Emit some more gas to yer sheeple today and for gawds sake Dave, get a grip and stop whining so much. Season three is coming soon!
And Dave, remember, straight up and straight down are both vertical (just in case there was some confusion). Now the tough part is to figure out which it’s gonna be on Thursday at Too. I say Too, rather than Two Dave because that is how fucked up yer graph is gonna be ……..way Too fucked up NOT to show treasonous activities are happening good buddy! GET ON IT!!!
“…the fail just keeps on coming.” Sweeter words were never spoken.
Peace: “brutalist style”: perfect description.
If they wanted scientology people there they should have offered a carton of Marlboro reds instead of Starbucks. But I just wish somebody had seen this and invited the bloods and crips there. Would have made for some really good action shots.
David, I say we do it! We can talk to the Bloods & Crips. They may want to do this all the time. Lights, camera, and heeeeere we go. Action!
“…spirit of play and frolicking” within the CoS !!? I seriously doubt it!
Lil davey’s idea of play is to physically and psychologically torture whoever’s handy whenever his latest ill-conceived grand plan tanks or his morning toast isn’t buttered on BOTH sides.
Plus, the only folks who are actually frollicking in joy within the Clampire are the high-dollar legal weasels and PI’s they employ to fuck with the cherch’s most high-profile critics and anti-cult opponents.
“…spirit of play and frolicking.” I highly doubt they’ve ever had ‘spirit & frolicking’ in their lives. Maybe in their dreams…
I can see it now – a small gaggle of silver-haired gents and ladies making there way from the parking lot a stiff .64 miles away, struggling to put one sandaled foot in front of the other as the soft sand impedes their progress. Then they broil to a red glow even in the spring sun, as people do who have not been outside in 22.4 years except to run around a pole.
But I hereby invite anyone and everyone to show up, properly dressed in Anon mask or Aftermath t-shirt. It might behoove locals to notify beach cops of this private event on a public beach, but knowing the cherch they probably have everything within sight legally closed down somehow.
Wait, I just realized – most people will look for this new 2-12 Privateer St. address and have to go home frustrated – no parking, street is tiny and hard to find. The only way to ID this location (and the only available parking for it) is either to A. be a native familiar with the beach area, or B. have a very detailed map or good car nav system, or C. Google the address then look around for parking. How likely are some of the scilons to have a new care with nav, or be able to Google an address then go to satellite view and locate beach parking?
Sounds like a recipe for another foot bullet, a Scientology specialty.
umm, this is a topless beach, right? oops, sorry officer, me and my softball team were just out to get an all-over tan.
As far back as I can remember Scientologists were always getting suckered into these deceptive capers in order to create the illusion that Scientology as a movement was thriving. At some point a sane being has to climb off the dead horse and get an actual grip on circumstances. It takes some confront.
The biggest problem with this Doug is that they dont WANT to see. It would make them wrong for having been involved. They want to contribute to the pretense because it makes them feel good and right. Sad.
What will Maverick and Vinni Barbarino do when this wraps up and they no longer have the free slave labor courtesy of scientology.
Right. I know my son with his mindset does not care. If he read Mike’s blog every day for a year, he might develop cracks. That’s about it. Until he is abused or ripped off, it won’t matter
“Don’t confuse me with the facts, my mind is made up!”
The semi-humorous way my father would mentally write off people like this,
Mary Kahn, what you say is sad, but true. Hang in there. And regarding changing the venue for the photo op from Santa Monica to a beach several miles south of that, I think they read Mike’s blog and saw someone’s comment that maybe we should get some Guy Fawkes masks and meet them on the Santa Monica beach. That probably scared them into changing the venue. He he he
That’s right – and the word “caper” is indeed one they actually use. This sort of BS happens that regularly.
As for the address, I’ll bet some whale lives there or something otherwise why not just go to Santa Monica beach where it’s easy to park?
Even though the cult is offering a $10 Starbucks card, money towards gas AND a commendation (whoa!!!!), in reality those who take the bait will only get two out of the three “prizes”. Any reg worth their Les Dane books will know that the dupes will have been given money towards gas. That money will be regged back. Maybe the Starbucks card too.
Even with these great offerings by the cult they will have diffiCULTy getting warm bodies to show up. Why? What in-KSW, Kool-Aid sipper would be able to afford to take time off from work, auditing, course, VM activities around the world, anti-psych protests, handing out Way to Happiness pamphlets, or giving assists at accident scenes to show up for a photo shoot?
PLEASE, make it go right to help us perpetuate a LIE so we can continue to scam money out of the gullible.
Hmm, Hubtard’s group philosophy in a nut shell.
Yes! I forgot about “make it go right”, like we actually had mindful force of will over MEST. They still owe me for a car I was asked to donate, a ’56 Chevy 2 door wagon, man was I stupid!
I like the “PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE”
Keep begging, imbecile.
You haven’t begged nearly enough yet.
Dang you, Aqua. You beat me by posting exactly what I was going to.
This is true.
OTD
🙂 Great minds, etc., OTD.
“Man, was I stupid!”.
Stupid you may well have been at one time, and you’ve lots of company here, but, Rod, the good news – and its very good news, by the way – is that you are EONS smarter than the Still Ins who are walking around in a state of deliberate and purposeful delusion about how smart they are! 🙂
See, they’re not innocently dumb. Its purposeful. They’re CHOOSING to pretend to not know what they KNOW.
You, on the other hand, wanted to help, and got hoodwinked. Ok, live and learn. Not so bad. No shame, no blame. You were INNOCENT in your desire to help.
They, on the other hand – well, they’ve got market cornered on dumnness, that’s all..
“…got THE market cornered on DUMBNESS…” LOL! Of all the words to misspell…:)
The “b” is next to the “n” and my ipad likes to select the wrong touchpad screens keys all the time. We’re cool wit it. ; ) lol
Hear, hear Aqua!
“Make it go right.” The Hell you say?! I say, “make it go left.”
Poor organization skills needed, anyone can apply. The Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz gave better directions.
Why in the second largest (maybe largest) concentration of $cientologists in the world can they not find enough beach bodies to embody the ‘spirit of fun’? Were Regs present? That would destroy the fun very quickly. Now, if Regs are present, will they want the Starbucks cards? Up your status now!! No, up yours!!!!
My mind remains boggled.
Santa Monica Beach.
Wonderful ‘shoot’ location. For a free coffee the scios could have had the encamped homeless living on the bluff stream down to the beach. Several hundred of tom haden’s welcomed visitors from the 80’s. And they never left.
Just a perfect image of who/what the scio’s are ‘pulling in’ these days.
Not sure why the Dwarf won’t simply bite the bullet. Hire young attractive guy and girl extras from some casting company, “instant hat” them on their purpose and motivation, bus them out, let them loose to frolic, mingle with the oldsters, Spirit of Play all the way! They’re actors , after all. Happy to be working at some kind of acting that pays. Surely they would do a credible job of making the event look wonderful!
Aqua,
It is near impossible to get david to reverse his money flow. Outflow does not compute, yah know?
Lol: No it sure doesn’t, Jim.
Though I must say, its penny-wise and pound foolish of the Dwarf, though!
He should hire ME to stage this event.
I’d have an eclectic mixture of all ages, races and demographics. Gorgeous scenery.
I’d have them on the beach celebrating the opening – volleyballing, a band playing, dancing, mingling, sitting around and sunning, swimming (and yes OSD, SURFING.)
All age groups having a blast at the opening of First Cherch of Dave of Santa Monica.
The brief testimonials from the young, middle aged and seniors (even some in wheel chairs) would be believable and UNboring. I’d vary the tone levels. No Stepford Wife type crap. I’d make it VERY real.
It would be one hell of an opening.
All FAKE of course, but one hell of a show, which of necessity would have to be fake because the cult is way past the point of being ABLEto tell the truth about anything.
Money for gas? A Starbucks card? Puhleeez!
I’d have them picked up and driven to the thing, with cold drinks and snacks provided on the way in small, air conditioned buses with very comfortable seats, wifi, etc. And they’d be driven back, too. No charge. Easy-Peasy.
And I’d find a good organic caterer in the area and there’d be something for everyone.
EVERYONE would want to come.
Because I’d make it actually FUN.
A hell of a production and I’d charge the Dwarf PLENTY for it.
A blast!
Of course, in my self-puff piece here promoting to be the Dwarf’s Ideal Morgue Event Manager I have no idea how far the nearest beach to this m’orgue actually IS …oh well…I’ll just get the local OTs to CREATE a convenient beach…hmmm, details, details…
No worries, Sir! Just pay my fee in advance, and I’ll glow it right!
There must be a three ring circus missing its clowns.
Stop clowning around, Skeptic.
??
“there were not actually enough bodies…”
So glad to hear it. I hope that some day the only thetans who still believe in Scientology will choose to remain disincarnate and that no one left on Earth will pretend to count them.
Soon they’ll have to start counting body thetans. I wonder if BTs have beach wear?
I’m teaching my Body Thetans how to surf.
OSD,
I’m thinking that any body thetans that were in Rodrigo Koxa’s body must have exteriorized when he took that 80 foot wave off Portugal.
I saw that wave. It gave me chills.
Similar here. My one thought was; You turn down the face of that monster and you die.
Not enough bodies? If only I’d known. I’ve got one in pawn on another planet. Always complaining to anyone who’ll listen that she hasn’t been out in the past 40 million years.
What really cracks me up is that if you showed this to a hardcore scilon they would make every excuse in the book as to why this is happening. They are so afraid of the truth just crushing their world that they would rather make excuses instead of coming to the realization that they are being duped. Nobody likes to admit that they were fooled. Nobody.
Seems I recall a moment when someone said to a $cientologist …. “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH !”.
Yo Dave,
Time to git yer buddy Tom on down to der beach and sho um hoz it’s done ….. smiley!
Newcomer,
You nailed it!
Another wonderful example of facilitating lies. Done, of course, by the lying professionals. LOL