Tonight is the big night!
The long awaited, but not anticipated second “season” of the Cult Shopping Network.
You can see the trailer here – though I can save you some time as it says absolutely NOTHING. From all indications, the new season WILL defy expectations. Of scientologists hoping for something new, different or effective.
As for everyone else — not so much.
The CSN has been a magnificent flop. The REAL audience for this entire scam is internal. They are holding “watching parties” in every org and on L. Ron Hubbard Way. Yet, the public the CSN is NOT aimed at is existing scientologists. It is simply an effort to convince them that because the SuMP has produced some video content, the whole world is now demanding to join scientology.
And to convince them that David Miscavige, the only True Leader, is forging a path to a cleared planet one viewer at a time.
The fact is, things have never looked grimmer, and they are nervously awaiting Season 3 of The Aftermath.
This is intended to try to shore up the bulwarks before the next wave of “entheta” rolls over them.
How odd is it that the “premiere” is at 8pm on the West Coast — same as the East Coast? But this is on DirecTV so that’s impossible. Unless the “premiere” lasts for 3 hours and is then repeated again in the next 3 hours?
Well, so much for that theory. They are even doing it at the same time AFRICA???
Maybe the whole thing is a scam and there is nothing new at all. It’s just an excuse to get people in range of the regges.
That would make sense as Steven’s Creek is holding two “premieres”… (I think they have an “m/u” on the word):
When anything is confusing in scientology, always look to the MONEY.
So here is a good clue as to the motivation — the mighty Mecca of Technical perfection, booming like never before as people flood up the Bridge, is trying to get locals to stay in their hotels for a night at a steeply discounted rate! They will even box lunches for the kids…
This is a true reflection of the state of the “top of the bridge.”
UPDATE
This just in.
The new “season” consists of 5 new episodes of their existing “shows”…
That is some watershed, epic shit.
I haven’t heard much interest in the anti-scientology show, either. Nobody wants to be on it. Most can’t be on it.
Well, listen up. You’re in for a surprise.
🙂
Yes! I cannot wait! ☺
Cults depend on their members to live in ignorance of what the larger world knows and the real truth. Such is their sad folly & misdirected life-robbing choices.
The whole point of TV is to watch at home, in comfort and familial silence. It only makes sense to a Scientologist to illogically turn a explicitly non-social activity into a social activity. This is not a Yankees or Dodgers game one goes to a sports bar to have a beer and a meal to watch. I know Scientology defines the anti-social personality, but this creates a hitherto-unbenounced personality: The Vulcan personality.
This personality combines a level of alien logic rarely known in the mundane world with a fascade of novus superiority to the utter detriment of a group by throwing the whole area spinning in out-reality. No thanks, I’d watch at home if I were to watch at all.
I wouldn’t think they would need a “new” season.
Who watched the first season? They could just replay that and say it’s new – who would notice?
It seems like they are pretty good at repackaging the same thing and reselling it again and again and again….
I read new “FAIL” season.
I learned I will never buy a Deering Goodtime Banjolele. That is useful info from Cult TV.
I went by the Idle Org here tonight (Twin Cities) a few minutes before the big party was to begin. All you could see were two or three staff standing around by the front desk. Cafe area empty, no cars in any of the spaces on either street of the corner where it sits. Empty parking spaces right out front. It was as dead as fried chicken.
I drove past the mighty Valley at 7:30. There were 6 cars in their normally empty parking lot across the street from the org. Yes, 6.
Epic! Unprecedented!
And more good news to cheer up my rainy morning!
Every time I drive down Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood past the Valley Idle Morgue I get creeped out. And every time I do it looks like a Ghost Town. For years that building was a legitimate church. Now it’s just an empty building serving nefarious cult ends.
Mike,
Maybe they all took Uber’s ?
( Or DC-8’s )
LOL !
Dave F.
Why the DC-8? Couldn’t Hubbard foresee the construction of the Boeing 747?
I was in Saint Paul over the summer and drove past the org unexpectedly. I wish I had time to go in. It’s a definite, albeit creepy, point of interest now that I have watched Aftermath and read and listened to so much content by ex-members.
Thanks for the good news, Marc!
Ah, but unlike Scientology, fried chicken can be useful at least once.
At least KFC doesn’t make you pay for the same chicken dinner over and over again. Eww!
It must be so awful being forced to attend these dumb events. They are all SO BORING. OMG I’d rather to nail my tongue to the table.
They seem to have chosen their IAS event at the same time as the LDS church’s General Conference. It seems like they are trying to follow in the LDS church footsteps on so many things. My husband was LDS, his father a Bishop. I hear and see so many similarities (minus the part where they actually HELP their members through life… ups and downs).
I will forward to hear about the new (revised?) program, so hope someone watches and reports. I can’t give them one stat.
“From all indications, the new season WILL defy expectations.” Expectations of raising the programming above mind-numbing, soporific and plain straight desperation to make themselves appear as a valid religion?
Oh yes, forgot to mention the continual money grubbing that is the be all and end all of $camology.
Yo Dave,
Did ya pull Ronnie the whiner off of the lineup today good buddy? Better flog ole Eff Pee back into the fray before we forget our manners!
I would love to see some conversing between Ron and Foolproof! Now that would be some entertainment. And everyone else can get back to the real issue of the abuses of scientology. But Mike is right about it being the perfect example of scientology mindset. I have to admit Ron blows my mind. I mean is he a wog, a spy, fp, Dave, or a hired gun. Something’s definitely up. Probably just trying to annoy and distract everyone.
I mean is he a wog, a spy, fp, Dave, or a hired gun.
I say a sock-puppet is as a sock-puppet does. Scilons are often indistinguishable.
Mike,
The Trailer was SO DISAPPOINTING . . .
I was hoping that the “The Cult Shopping Network” was going to be like QVC.
I had my heart set on a pair of XENU bedroom slippers and a COB “bobble-head” . . . Sniff !
LOL !
Dave F.
Funniest comment of the day 🙂
I agree and if dave is reading this, he should seriously consider marketing these products. I think they are real money-makers.
Yes, Mary! I’d buy the bobble-head and put it in a location where dogs could pee on it!
Lol!
I was hoping for the 8 dynamics decorative napkins!
Now THOSE I would buy!
Dave F I like how you think! ?
Off topic parody alert.
DM BEFORE THE IAS EVENT
I’m puttin’ on my John Loebs
Fussin’ with my blue tie
Polishing my nails.
I’m checkin’ out my fake tan
Practicin’ my Int Speech
Pitchin’ to the Whales.
I’m steppin’ out, you freak
To dish some Shermanspeak
To my Celebs en masse
And they’ll know they’ll have to heavy flow
Or I’ll be on their ass.
For I’ll be there
Standin’ in my John Loebs
Glarin’ from my blue eyes
Shakin’ down the Whales.
With apologies to both of the Berlins, this is what binge-watching early Astaire films yesterday did to me and OMG I have another one
FRED & GINGER SEa ORG STYLE
Dave’s temper is frightening
His thunder & lightning
Seem to be having their way
But as far as I’m concerned
Its a lovely day.
Our stats going nether
Has twinned us together
So I can honestly say
That as far as I’m concerned
Its a lovely day.
And everything’s OK.
Isn’t it a lovely day to get thrown in The Hole?
We were working so damned hard , now we’ve got a new goal
.
Both our stats were soaring, then lawks a mercy me
Those stats crashed, they crashed, but oh what a break you see.
Now I word-clear you and then you word clear me.
After that we eat our scraps and go run ’round a tree.
Let the others whine and natter
Cause it really doesn’t matter
As in The Hole I’ll stay
Long as I can be with you its a lovely day.
:
Nice Aqua!
Aqua,
Those are GREAT !
Speaking of Fred Astaire . . .Can you PLEASE do one to the tune of “Singing In The Rain” ?
I suggest “Going Down The Drain” !
Dave F.
Thanks Newcomer + Dave. Dave, will do on “Singing In The Rain” . That’s not Astaire but Gene Kelly btw but no matter, PERFECT title, LOL, on it!
Pure genius Aqua! ☺
Scientology… the religion of Cringe.
Can’t wait to hear the reports from the UTRs that decide to attend this weird 8pm-across the-globe gong show…. the rah-rah WalMart cheers at the beginning, the Stalin-esque act of who can applaud the longest, and the Cringiest of all Cringeful acts – the fawning over dear leader, COB. Shudder.
I’m so underwhelmed I’d prefer it if I fell into a vat of goo than watch anymore than the trailer.
But really, the music they persist with is so boring. It sounds like the intro they used for a Scio event 20 + years ago and the happy smiling painted on faces saying they are Scientologists is the best they’ve got????? sheesh. it’s enough to put sheep into a coma. This is their attempt to counter the tidal wave of black PR against them? Oh my…
The mania anticipating season 3 developing in DMs head would be enough to power their transmission though. The longer season 3 holds off the more DMs head will feel like it’s got a tight band around it contracting with every sip of scotch. It’s coming Davy, it’s coming… and this season is designed uniquely just for you. And as they say in parade ground drilling, “wait for it.”
I just now watched the trailer and, did you notice what I did?
Did you catch it?
No? Well, here it is:
NOT A SINGLE DAMN SHOT OF DAVID MISCAVIGE!
That little shit is nowhere in the trailer! All sorts of footage of the Freewinds and Captain Napier(man, is he going to run that boat until he dies?) as well as the usual bla bla about how Scientology is saving the world and the spiritness of Saint Hill. Yet not a single shot of the world’s most violent midget.
Weird.
Leave him alone, Alcoboy. He wasn’t camera-worthy that day. Got no sleep the night before.
Once again, Lou is nagging him to marry her. The ungrateful bitch is no longer happy just being his Communicator With Benefits, as she says the benefits are all his and she wants to be respectable. So for the thousandth time he had to explain to her at length why he can never get a divorce. Really got on his nerves but at this point she knows too much so he had to be patient. Anyway, with no sleep his eyes were puffy and Tom’s suggestion about resting with cold tea bags on them didn’t help. Screaming at 3 innocents staff members and putting them in the Hole didn’t make him feel better either, as it usually does. Worse, the day before his colorist had been too generous with the peroxide and now he’s over-streaked. His aesthetician had permed his roots to give height to his hair but now the over-streaking has given him a rooster-like appearance..He feels miserable and he looks awful. Have compassion. Do you see what the man has to deal with? The incompetence? He has no one to rely upon.
The woes of a height-challenged, psychotic drip of Beezlebub Smegma…
A tough, Macallan-drenched life, it is…
Not to mention dealing with those fuckin’ SP’s every single day! And on top of that Mike, Leah and Season 3 of Aftermath almost here!
But, Aqua, those are not valid excuses for the most ethical being on the planet(ha, ha!) to not be seen in this footage! If Hitler could get up on the dais at Nurnberg while suffering from syphilis, then Dwarfenfuhrer can make himself available to all his adoring fans on this most special night!
“Sheep in a coma”!!
???
Do you think he watches Aftermath? Or has someone else report back to him perhaps. If he does watch it, how does his head not explode!?
I would bet he does. You all that know him do you think he watches it??
The music is right in line with the visuals: incredibly tacky, in very poor taste; a nouveau riche attempt to look and sound “modern” and high tech.
I’ve never experienced anything quite like it, sort of hard to explain but somehow they’ve managed to get music to slap you in you face.
Illogical, if I were a local why on earth would I stay at the Fort Harrison for an event?
Sorry, I forgot…stats…they need to be up otherwise the sociopath leader will send someone to the RPF for counter intention.
There’s a hurricane heading towards the west coast and panhandle of Florida. Better get that celebration going. ?
As Tony Ortega covers today, the other new development is the the premiere of the Scientology Network Documentary Showcase on October 12, 2018.
So far though, it appears that rather than showing films submitted by emerging filmmakers, as was the implicit premise, Scientology is buying documentaries that are several years old and that have already made the rounds of festivals, and which are now in some sort of commercial distribution that may be out of the hands of the filmmakers.
WOW!!! Even after being exposed, they are still trying to sell people on this cult shit!!!!
#UnFuckinBelievable
Jacquelline,
They are probably betting that today’s, Generation Z, “Snowflakes” don’t watch Aftermath . . .
I hope the “Snowflakes” know that there aren’t any “Safe Spaces” in Scientology . . . Although they might be attracted to the Sea Org ( like living in Mom & Dad’s “basement” ) – LOL !
Dave F.
JUST ADDED WATERSHED, EPIC NEWS UPDATE TO POST!!!!!!! YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!!!!!
A 5 exclamation mark update. Woo Hoo! What’s the difference between an $8 and a $12 buffet? Do you get all you can eat with one and only 1 time through on the other or does the $8 include what you can put in your hand and the $12 include plates, silverware and drinks. Inquiring minds want to know.
Mike, this might be a typo: “Yet, the public the CSN is NOT aimed at is existing scientologists.” It seems like you meant to write that the public the CSH IS aimed at is existing scientologists? If that’s what you meant to say, a correction is in order. Oh and “watershed”? That is SO Mullet Man speak. (Shermanspeak)
Vendors who sell things to Scientology are happy since if Scientology makes more money, then vendors in turn get paid.
I guess the world silently tolerates cons who play by the rules sufficiently to keep their cons from being put out of business.
I wonder, if an income breakdown (or expenses breakdown) for the entire history of the Hubbard movement were done, and who are the biggest vendors getting most of Scientology’s money in the whole history of the movement.
That’s where the money is going.
According to a friend who worked in the cult’s legal department, the most money routinely paid out is to lawyers.
Vendors for the upkeep of the Scientology media output machinery are the only ones making an honest living off Scientology.
Scientology’s success could be graded by watching the stats of money made by outsiders who sell Scientology stuff that keeps Scientology’s hyping media output machinery going.
I wonder who makes the most money off Scientology, or who the biggest vendors are, and how to find out if their stats are going up or down?
But if they have to wait for 6 months to get paid, they aren’t really making money. Scientology is notoriously slow pay.
mmmm… making an honest living off Scientology… is there such a thing? I guess if a mafia hitman paid me to park his car I suppose that has the semblance of an honest dollar. Scientology pays for services and it’s bills with the proceeds of fraud.
I don’t know about anyone else but being on Scientology’s payroll would be something best kept very quiet indeed. After the fall of Scientology it’s human nature for the worm to turn and the media to pounce. All it takes is an accusation (be it true, false or otherwise) on certain social media and you can become ruined overnight.
IYawnalot,
Elephants in the top rooms of Scientology’s leaders, all these decades, are the
Lawyers of course, taking their fees, doing their duty keeping Scientology in business.
Society buying the scam over and over, and media and some reporters being the only ones doing their duty warning the public off of going into Scientology’s doors in the first place.
Lawyers, I suspect, have been the most lucrative parasitical slice taker of Scientology’s pie in the sky proceeds.
Once upon a time, I was a litigation paralegal. I saw and worked with my share of avaricious lawyers. But shilling for scientology? That’s the lowest of the low. Unlike the vendors sellling hotdogs, these disgraces to the legal profession are smart enough to know what scientology is all about – and smart enough to just collect the legal fees and stay away from the rest of it. Bastards!
bixntram, Yes, and lawyers with half a thought must realize the money they are being paid came from Scientology’s dupes. From dupes to lawyers, goes Scientology’s money. All that those lawyers buy with their Scientology pay, is bought by Scientology’s dupes, I hope those lawyers think on that.
If you park that car, you better wear a hairnet and gloves . . . Don’t leave any DNA or fingerprints !
Dave F.
You’re right. A set up – sheesh – wonder who’s murder I’d be framed for?
Scientology money makers:
LRH
Lawyers
Freewinds substidy
DM
ASI crew
IAS field staff commissions
FSM commissions
Service Completion Awards
Book Commissions
BIC (SO orgs pay rent to another SO staffed corporation)
Renovations for sister orgs
Phone vendors
USPO and other countries postage
Off duty LE Officers
Shrine
Ruth Ekert Hall
Local fast food places for the FLAG world tours, IAS events and OT committee meetings, seminars how to make more money so you can upgrade your status.
Nice Cece.
LOL. I read the banner as:
‘Join us for the FAIL Season Premier’
Ha, same here!
I se nothing wrong with that. It sure looks normal to me.
Heh…
I paid $125,000 to do the
“Bouncy House / Water Slide”
as part of my
Super Powers Rundown…at FLAG
And these Body Thetan Infested Degraded Being Kids get this for free?
WTF?
I am so enturbulated
I could scream!
Do it stat! Just it ‘er rip.
“Maybe the whole thing is a scam and there is nothing new at all. It’s just an excuse to get people in range of the regges.”
MAYBE???
Just saw an ad for their network on Fox News! Showing the Freewinds………ugghhh……
That Fox News would run a lucrative Church of Scientology ad isn’t surprising. Fox and CO$ share the same demographics. CO$’s TV viewing public with purchase power ae largely aging, long in, white people; The average age of a Fox News viewer is 65.and almost 100% of Fox viewers are white. These demographics have to be overlapping to some degree. So – disgusting in every way, for sure, but surprising, not really.
It’s on Oprah’s Network also.
Cable providers like Spectrun (formerly Time Warner) sell commercials on the various stations. It was likely a local buy just in your area.
Well South Africa is on Tuesday, so they could be rolling the same three shows over and over. Too lazy to figure out the time zones just now. 2nd week new episodes, or more opportunity to reg people. Don’t all loyal Scions have the network or the app at home?
The premiere will be so awesomely amazingly superfluously spectacular that it will run on a continuous loop for at least 24 hours nonstop. Who wouldn’t want to listen to der dear leader spew Shermanspeak for 24 hours straight (well no one besides David Miscavige, but that’s besides the point).
As for it exceeding all expectations:
1. I expect not to watch it. I will not watch it so my expectations will not be exceeded, simply met.
2. Those who are herded in and forced to watch it will be checked for wallets as they enter the building. They will be shown this awesome! amazing! dare I say insouciant! premiere which will proceed to blow their wallets right out of their pockets and empty them into the regges hands.
That is and always has been the purpose of SMP and why they are even bothering to trumpet season II.
P.s. yawn.
The level of stupidity now exemplified by the silly roll out of the Scientology infomercial channel is now growing exponentially. If anyone had any doubts about the level of brainwashing of members, this certainly proves the point. You have to be brainwashed to get excited about the latest knife set, hair spray for balding or rotisserie. Pure nuttiness.
Hey, don’t put down the Cult Shopping Network. I hear they are number one in the Indoctrinated 24 to 49 demographic.
Morel like 3-12 and over 70 methinks. Aren’t the rest too smart to be sucked in?
Whew! Thank goodness I’m 50!!! That was a close one!
OSD,
Man, that was a “close call” . . . They almost had you, Man !
Dave F. ( 57 )