The passing of Dan Sherman shortly before we left for vacation marked the end of an era in scientology.
Dan Sherman was an interesting character. He fancied himself a spy novelist, and took on the role of real life “agent” to establish a line with Gerry Armstrong when he was engaged in litigation with scientology. Sherman convinced Armstrong that he was in contact with “loyalists” who disagreed with the “new regime” of Miscavige and were working inside to overthrow Miscavige and the “new breed of management.” Sherman was known as “Sheepskin” and he set up the meeting with Armstrong for me that was recorded by Eugene Ingram in Griffith Park.
My interaction with Sherman was limited at that point, but when I became the LRH PPRO International, I was tasked with the job of finding an L. Ron Hubbard biographer. Because he was a dedicated scientologist, and had proven his loyalty, and was a published author (not very successful, but published nevertheless), I selected and got him approved to write the official Hubbard biography.
Of course, this turned out to be an impossible task. There are simply too many inconsistencies, inconvenient facts and outright lies that pepper the life of L. Ron Hubbard for an “official” biography to ever be published. Things that would have to be omitted would be glaringly obvious. Just the details of his wives and children alone could never been acknowledged by the organization as they would paint Hubbard in such a negative light. So, Sherman was put onto doing “Ron Mags” — selected parts of Hubbard’s life that could be massaged to avoid the most obvious lies. Of course, in the entire series of magazines, no mention was made of any of his family. That was easily explained — his family had nothing to do with telling the story of “Ron the Photographer” or “Ron the Explorer” and there was no “Ron the War Hero” mag ever published.
But while Sherman was being paid a hefty sum to live at the Gold base “working on the biography” he assumed another role. Speechwriter for Miscavige.
This in itself was almost a full time job. Miscavige did 5 international events each year, as well as “ideal org” openings and “CC Gala” and assorted other appearances. Sherman was expected to write or rewrite every speech Miscavige did.
He had a very distinctive style that I dubbed Shermanspeak. Long, run on sentences that had a unique cadence. Flowery language — tons of “notwithstandings” and “given thats” and “that’s not alls.” And hype blended with strange imagery that took it all over the top. Who can forget “sitting on the porch of eternity.”
In fact, in an earlier post, I extracted some of the Shermanspeak from the 5 minute closing remarks Miscavige made at an IAS Event.
In point of fact…
Ergo…
While, in full and all told…
But, even so and only with…
While overall and in totality,…
We are the rock & fortress of humanity…
…you are witnessing a space-time continuum where clocks stand still…
…a panorama of expansion to the far horizon and it can only be described as breathtaking.
…we are everywhere and everyone.
I do so from a grand perspective…
…a significant donation is all that stands between a great void where souls are lost forever and a message to billions…
Shermanspeak now only only lives on in what has been recorded in the past. Nobody will ever be able to emulate the purple prose of the silver-mulleted, self-proclaimed “neurotic Jew.” I was sorry to learn of his passing. I spent a lot of time with him over the years and he was at heart a good and gentle man.
Miscavige made an attempt to emulate Shermanspeak in his eulogy to Dan. He fails miserably.
It almost reads like a parody. (We once had a competition for a Shermanspeak parody and I published the winner — it is far better in style and coherence than Miscavige’s mess).
The scientology world has a bleak outlook when it comes to future events. Shermanspeak was laughable, but at least it was entertainingly prose-like. Looks like it’s just going to be bad-sounding gobbledygook in the future if this effort from Dave is any indication.
Miscavige needs to retread Key to Life, for the incorrect capitalization alone.
Ah, the trials and tribulations of a Napoleonic, lift-wearing, bouffanted, “invisible” sociopath…
Is there not ONE PERSON who is as far-seeing, competent, hard-working, and committed as HE? And, pray tell, what of the fate of this sector of the universe forthwith, now that his trusty, mulleted mouthpiece has gone silent?
Oh, as the winds of entheta howl and the esspee judges mock command intention, what is a fearless OT(Oatmeal Twat) Troubador of Theta do? When there are no Hollywood Cocksuckers left, when the Whales have been flayed of meat and fat and bone and money and assets and progeny, when the Ideal Orgs are more silent and empty than a Zen koan, when Captain Macallan has to resort to surviving on mere billions in offshore accounts, what, then, of that vaunted promise of spiritual freedom for all who would venture deeply into the Aesthetic Anus of El Con Blowhard?
What horrible fate awaits ALL OF US if Wee Wingnut doesn’t keep doin’ dat ting he do? Who will be the being endowed with an “uptone ass-thetic sense” who can, um…keep Dave’s shit…absolutely, tone 40…SHITTY???
Stay tuned for another installment of ” insane tiny asshole continues illiterately huffing and puffing!” whilst doin’ the daily mind-fuck-crime-syndicate-life-destroying bidness.
I hope Dan is kickin’ it on the Veranda of Eternal Bliss…
In Memoriam
The death of the wordsmith
Who with giant vocabulary in hand
Forged blunt and clumsy instruments
Of boredom, confusion and doubt.
Voiced by his master, the piss-ant of pomposity
These tools brought forth laughter, chagrin, and fear,
In that order.
What a grand jape He played upon his patron.
May he rest in peace,
With the last laugh.
Fucking brilliant.
Let the Espee Chorus intone: “Ramen, Brother Tilse!”
Glenn and Dan, you’re right. He most probably did not write that eulogy. A woman I used to know in the 80’s joined SO at Int Base and became one of several speech writers for Davey. I don’t know if she is still in, but they had more than just Dan Sherman writing speeches for him.
I have the sudden urge to use this horrible eulogy as a writing prompt. Rest In Power, Dan.
@David Miscavige,
Brilliant, Captain.j
What a fabulous send off for Danny Sherman.
“Bon Voyage”…beautiful, really. Such… originality.
Inspired, truly.
We here are all DEEPLY moved.
But wait!
Now that Mr. Sherman is cooling his theta heels in the Between Lives Area and hopefully being implanted with the Hemingway App before being shot back down to Earth to pick up another body, the question arises as to WHO will write YOUR send-off?
Before Mr. Sherman reurns to his post in, say, 20-25 years, should you decide that YOUR body needs to be shed in order to continue to further the exalted goals of Scientology, who will do YOUR send off?
Who will wear this hat?
Frankly, I can’t see ANYONE doing it,
Except you. You’re the ONLY ONE who could do it right.
Ah, the irony, no?
Even THIS you have to do yourself.
But, no matter, as you do everything, you’ll send yourself off brilliantly.
I know I speak for all of us in saying that we look forward to that epic day when we’ll all be saying “Bon Voyage” to you, Captain.
Much Love,
Aqua
To: Aquamarine
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: My eventual demise.
Who is going to write my eulogy? NO ONE! Why? Because I WILL NEVER DIE! No one can kill me, no one can take my life! Thanks to our amazing tech I will live forever!
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: your alleged immortality.
Uh, COB.
Captain Miscavige.
Sir.
You have just reached the outer bounds of insanity and are throttling forward at breakneck speed.
That is what your ‘amazing’ tech has done for you.
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
@Captain Miscavige,
Sir, I must respectfully disagree.
Your body is mortal.
Like everyone else, its demise is merely a matter of time.
Should you be curious as to your expected mortal life span, insurance algorithms can provide you with a general idea of its length.
For your own sake do be sure to answer honestly the questions about tobacco usage, alcohol consumption and long term pre-existing body conditions like asthma.
Much love,
Aqua
PS: And Sir, you’re getting to the age when it is wise to start giving serious thought to who will replace you when your body no longer serves your purposes, you dig?
After all, its one thing for YOU to have been the Eve Harrington to LRH’s Margo Channing but my goodness and no disrespect intended do you really want some know nothing, greedy, ambitious upstart to turn your head and isolate you from your flock once your body is giving you continual pain and you are, shall we say, no longer at your best?
Of course you have your lawyers but then can you really trust them? There is so very much money at stake. Can you trust them, really?
In fact, while we’re on the subject, who DO you trust? Is there anyone?
Much love,
Aqua
To: Aquamarine
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: questioning my immortality.
For your information, hag, I have no need of a successor because, as I said before, our glorious tech makes me at cause over all things and that includes death!
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From:, Alcoboy
Re: previous comm particle.
At cause over death?
Have you looked at the Grade Chart lately?
Hope you and LRH have fun on Target Two.
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
To: SOB RTC
From: The Hag.
Whatever you say, Dwarf , whatever you say 🙂
Now, top off that scotch, have another cigarette and call Tom.
You’ll feel more at peace with yourself.
Much love,
Aqua
I noticed he was good at making implied false claims, while avoiding blatant lies – which seems to be very scientological, much as we see at lower echelons in flyers and other propaganda in less sophisticated forms. Thus the CofS ended up painted to its members as undergoing unprecedented expansion all over the planet, when in fact it has a small and dwindling presence limited to a relatively few places, and is increasingly struggling.
I never cease to be amazed by the cheapness and tackiness of so many things scientology. In the safe mental confines of the cult, elron is a unique expert on all matters human and historical. But more so, he’s a giant of literature, a master photographer, one who stood at the pinnacle of aviation and science, and so much more.
All this delusion fares poorly when one tries to listen to elron’s “music”, vainly searches his photos for clues of genius or his prose for evidence of anything surpassing mediocrity. Celebrettes become international stars, and Sherman an “Almighty Wordsmith” (caps and all). And yet, the foremost experts on communication and administration can’t even conjure up a flyer with proper spelling and reasonably proper diction.
Cheap, cheap, cheap!
What never ceases to amaze me is the cheapness and tackiness of so many things scientology. In the safe mental confines of the cult, elron is a unique expert on all matters human and historical. But more so, he’s a giant of literature, a master photographer, one who stood at the pinnacle of aviation and science, and so much more.
All this delusion fares poorly when one tries to listen to elron’s “music”, vainly searches his photos for clues of genius or his prose for evidence of anything surpassing mediocrity. Celebrettes become international stars, and Sherman an “Almighty Wordsmith” (caps and all). And yet, the foremost experts on communication and administration can’t even conjure up a flyer with proper spelling and reasonably proper diction.
Cheap, cheap, cheap!
I reckon Dan wrote that eulogy about himself before he hopped on the great DC9 to be mind wiped again and told Demento that he could put his name to it. Merdemouth doesn’t have the skills to compose such a gagging piece of dross.
😆 lol! Merdemouth!
That was the work of an amateur hack, which says more about DM than Sherman. Apparently they have no skilled PR writers on their roster of Sea Org execs. It’s almost sad to realize COB will remain that little man he’s tried to conquer all of his life.
OK, the sadness has passed. Long live the pretentious dwarf!
I’d say he’s an example of how they’re losing the old-timers they have relied on – who were relatively more capable and dedicated than the under-educated born-ins coming up through the ranks now. And many like him seem to be succumbing to cancer a decade or more before their time, too.
Why was he being paid big bux to write scripts while living free at Golden Era? Was he not SO?
His death is more than fine with me. Number of known Sci social parasites: 20,000 – 1 = 19,999
He was not SO. I believe he was (at least theoretically!) free to come and go as he pleased. Though I must add that I thoroughly disagree with your assessment of his death. He was obviously a very lost man, and I am sad he died before he could wake up and see the truth.
@PartTimeSP,
I don’t necessarily disagree if what you’re assuming is true.
But if what if what you’re assuming is (was) not true?
What if Danny Sherman died KNOWING the truth?
Food for thought: How many Still Ins are actually NOT victims?
How many of them actually KNOW the truth – the good, the bad and the ugly about Scientology?
And yet choose to stay in for their own reasons, one of which could well be that a good living off of Scientology is being made?
Do you think Artie Marin doesn’t know the truth? Do you think Rebecca Minkoff given her father’s history doesn’t know the truth? Tom Cruise? The late Kirstie Alley? The Feshbachs? Just off the top of my head.
Well, the truth is I don’t know. I couldn’t say one way or another for sure.
But I wouldn’t discount the possibility that a number of Still Ins find it extremely convenient to ignore what they know about Co$ purely for their own financial reasons.
Of course this looking the other way and not confronting and dealing with the truth doesn’t exclude the other reasons for staying in, ie., fear of Disconnection, fear of being fair gamed, etc.
But there are Scientologists making their LIVING because of Scientology who would find it quite financially inconvenient to act on the truths they know about – this is a possibility and its all I am suggesting.
Well that’s not a very nice comment to make.
It is not about who he WAS it is about what he DID: Evil!
You’re entitled to your opinion
Anonymous does not forgive Anonymous does not forget. Cult guard Odo Huber has had me arrested on false charges multiple times. You think I don’t wish the worst for him? Of course I do!
Not an opinion – it’s a fact. He promulgated evil.
Different abbreviations mean different things to different people. COB may mean chairman of the board but it can also mean Close of Business.
Dave is Close of Business to me. He is closing the business of scientology for everyone.
But that is just me,
I knew Danny way back when…when he was a person – a funny guy married to my friend Manon who, along with so many other scientologists, died way too young. I remember when Danny got his gig as LRH Biographer and how, according to Manon, excited he was as he felt this was his calling. I can only imagine how disappointed he was once he discovered too many lies and too many unpublishable truths about LRH.
Time passed and Danny seemed to become another person, as did so many of us. But he became an untouchable and was no longer my friend.
There is no way I believe that Danny will be back. No way can I imagine a knock on the door of david miscavige’s office announcing he’s back, if only to one of david miscavige’s suits laid out on his bed for when HE returns.
Well, Rest In Peace Danny. I like to imagine that.
Wow, I did not know that Dan had passed. I remember working with Dan and Trevor when you took most of the heat whenever we screwed up. Those were some wild times. How did he die? Anybody know?
Hey Dan — I heard it was cancer. Yes, well remember those days putting together the WIS? book… Despite the inevitable shit eating, they were good times. I enjoyed working with you guys a lot.
What IS it with all these Scientologists and cancer?
Mike, I’d like to keep it simple, I’d like to keep the reasons OUT of the realm of the esoteric (Xenu, the OT levels, etc.) and confine the possibilities to the physical by posing the question this way:
Could there be such a seemingly high incidence of premature cancer deaths among Scientologists SIMPLY because so many of them smoke?
Smoking IS the primary cause of cancer and not only lung cancer, but liver, uterine, breast, prostrate and leukemia (which is cancer of the blood) – smoking makes ALL the organs and the blood toxic and then the weakest organ can be the one most susceptible to cancer, and the weakest organ in someone’s body is not necessarily the lungs.
I’d love to figure this out.
Are Scientologists dying before their time of cancer simply because they’re part of the cigarette smoking demographic and possibly a demographic of THAT demographic that DOESN’T QUIT smoking in their middle years or senior years because they (falsely) believe that because they’re OTs they can’t be harmed by it?
Many people smoked, back in the day. I know I did, for 20 years. But then we quit. We got older, we got informed, etc., and we quit. I know a number of friends of mine quit. We didn’t WANT to quit. We were all QUITE addicted. But we quit because we were afraid of getting cancer. After all, it SAID right on the cigarette pack how dangerous it was. So we made repeated attempts, frequently failing 2 or 3 times and then finally succeeding, in our late 30s, 40s, early 50s, some of us. We quit because we realized how toxic it was and we were afraid of getting sick and dying a horrible premature death.
Now, Its possible that middle aged and senior citizen Scientologists do NOT quit, because they are NOT afraid of getting cancer.
Well, as you can see I’m just trying to find a sensible answer. Feel free to share any theories, Mike and everyone 🙂
Definitely smoking is a big factor. But aversion to medical doctors and thus often leaving diagnosis and treatment until too late is a significant contributor too.
Of course – quite right. Thanks for pointing that out.
… and so ends the lesson.
Yo Dave,
Thanks fer the wunnerful send off to yer lyin eyes friend an all. Yer prose is a tad off the mark so You are gonna need to spruce it up a bit, just sayin.
Just wonderin whether the Sherman might make his return before or after yer good buddy Ron?
… Surpassing the boundaries of perfection …
Now, THAT’S a rarified neighborhood! …
I have to wonder who actually penned that “farewell” to Sherman. From my personal knowledge of Miscavige it definitely was not him. His language skills were at best at a 10th grade level. He knew how to yell, cuss and berate but he lacked real adult, compassionate, human communication skills completely. His little heart could never have felt the empathy and affinity professed in that eulogy. Never.
For sure. DM can swear with the best of them. But he lacks something as a word smith.