The latest wrong source promotion from AOSHUK announces completion of the funding of the “Ideal Translations Unit.”
Who knew?
I wonder where this “ideal” translation unit is going to be located and what it will consist of? Custom built desks? Marble floors? Computers with Google Translator hardwired onto the screens?
And what on earth does AOSHUK have to do with translations? As far as I know they speak english in the United Kingdom, though perhaps they could translate their materials into Gaelic for the masses in the Outer Hebrides.
But of course, we are now working on “the next milestone” — SMP. “The most exciting project that we have ever had on Planetary Dissemination.”
Are these people really unaware that Golden Era Productions has existed for 30 years and no matter how much money they spend on SMP it will NEVER be the facility that Gold already is? Doesn’t it strike anyone as just the littlest bit strange that instead of raising money to PLACE the advertising and videos and radio shows and whatever else they can ALREADY produce in their massively underutilized state-of-the-art 500 acre church audio visual studio — they are raising money to create a second, inferior one?
I think you could tell these people that the “most exciting thing in the world” is the “next milestone” of “creating something truly magnificent” — an “ideal” Manor at St Hill. Smaller and less impressive than the one that is there now, it will “make planetary clearing a reality.” And some of those people would turn over their money in exchange for a gold seal commendation.
Dear All,
We have officially completed the funding of the construction of the Ideal Translations Unit and the opening is going to happen very, very soon!
Thank You and well DONE to everybody who contributed! You are all heroes! 🙂
Now I want to show you what the next milestone is that we are working on.
This is probably the most exciting project that we have ever had on Planetary Dissemination: Scientology Media Productions!
There will be no limits to our dissemination and reach out to new public!
Read the attached official presentation that was just created.
Click here for the presentation (29 MB):
You will see some great facts and figures, such as the following fact: “On TV and radio, in magazines and newspapers, through billboards, direct mail and the Internet—there are over 3,000 opportunities to communicate to the average person on any given day.”
This IS the future for us!
Let’s really get enthusiastic about it! We have only a few months to make it happen!
THIS IS THE PROJECT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR TO GET COMPLETED!
Do you want to see millions of new public walking up the Bridge and millions more finding out about our 4D Campaign? THIS IS THE SOLUTION FOR IT.
Thank you to anybody who works on Planetary Dissemination and supports the campaigns – we are making huge breakthroughs and we will pull it off!
“The majority of three billion people out there have never even heard of Dianetics and Scientology, much less read a book!” – HCO PL 15 APRIL 1982 Issue I PLANETARY DISSEMINATION
“A longer term goal is to capture 5 percent of the world book market. We can do that too. And if we did it, sheer momentum would clear the planet. Are you with me on this? Good! Do it!” – LRH ED 343 INT, 4 May 1982 BOOKS STRAIGHT TALK
For anybody who wants to have more data and details, feel free to contact the AOSH UK Bookstore via bso@cofsaoshuk.org or 00(44) 1 324 342 571.
It goes without saying that the “presentation” is a farce.
Ironically, the second sentence of their pitch “Fed lies, artificial purposes and dead end “answers” by false authorities people are trapped without knowledge of truth” pretty much sums up the world of KoolAid drinkers. Right on that same first page they claim there are 30 cities with populations over 5 million, at least half of them don’t have an org or mission (47X expansion? straight up and vertical?) — a quick look at Wikipedia lists 69 metropolitan areas in the world with populations exceeding 5 million, and by my generous count, the number with orgs or missions is 25.
The presentation continues on in the same vein.
The bubble is becoming opaque. The outside world is disappearing entirely from view to those inside….
gato rojo says
It makes me angry how many promo/marketing AV items have been produced that NEVER got released or saw the light of day. Over at least a 15-year period of time. Every time I see things like this the wastage just amazes me….I just can’t get it into my brain that this is going on. And the people being forced to see these things through are so controlled and made to feel small, un-cared for and invalidated as individuals. The whole administration is a Money and Personnel Wastage Factory.
ME says
“The majority of three billion people out there have never even heard of Dianetics and Scientology, much less read a book!” – HCO PL 15 APRIL 1982 Issue I PLANETARY DISSEMINATION
This quote is so out of date it’s pathetic to use for any kind of appeal to a rational person. The opposite is now actually true, the problem is no longer that people have not heard of Dianetics and Scientology, the problem for them is NOW THEY HAVE HEARD OF IT and are wise to the whole scam.
Hallie Jane says
More ridiculous, useless buildings! Great! If a huge snazzy promo blitz ever occurs, no highly trained, experienced staff will be inside the snazzy buildings to provide any service. They will only have the spayed and neutered ones that have been through the gag, squirrel labyrinth, who know that live communication is an overt against proper behavior. Good luck with that.
gato rojo says
Whew—love this! Why don’t you sugar-coat it a little more, HJ? LOL….. (Not sure I liked the neutering part though….meee—OW….)
Rick Mycroft says
“We must do something!”
“This is something, therefore we must do it!”
Gus Cox says
“Thank You and well DONE to everybody who contributed! You are all heroes!
…
Now I want to show you what the next milestone is…”
Ah, shit. Just when I took out a 2nd mortgage to fund the last “key to planetary salvage, that would drive new public into the orgs and rocket them up the bridge” now I have to take out a 3rd! Oh, but I’m sure *this* is the campaign that “will make planetary clearing a reality!”
Christ, how can they clear the planet if they can’t even clear the damned Sea Org?
Battlefield Teegeeack says
The critics of Co$ have already had and continue to have a “tsunami of media presentation”. The collective meme has been established: Co$ is criminal organization.
The more Scientologists try to come out into the public arena, the more they will encounter a tsunami……..of entheta.
Geir Isene says
When will this nonsense stop?
hgc10 says
“How do we reach them?”
Here’s the problem with that. You can’t reach them because you’re product sucks ass, and no one wants it. It sucks so bad, you can’t even reveal to prospective customers what it is until they’ve already paid. Just think about that. Imagine if you disseminated body thetans, wall of fire, Marcabians, etc. Sucks to be you, Disseminators.
hgc10 says
… your product …
Jose Chung says
This does not make any sense at all in any language.
Unless the population of Earth demands the results of lawsuits against Scientology,
Narconon, abuse and torture in Nepalese, welsh, Hindu ,etc. without
an iota of fixing the basic failures of David Miscavige and his insane money schemes.
AYE CARUMBA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Los Angeleno translation : EAT MY SHORTS)
Battlefield Teegeeack says
“there are over 3,000 opportunities to communicate to the average person on any given day.”
Even more if you call them 50 times a day to reg them.
KFrancis says
“by false authorities people are trapped….”
Is this some sort of veiled reference to David Miscavige and the double-wide trailer prison he constructed for the executives of the church ?
Martin Padfield says
Mike, I think you may have missed the point here. The need for a translations unit is imperative. The complete bollocks that Scientologists speak needs translating to the Wogs of planet Earth. This could well be the new WHY of only 47X expansion – lack of “duplication” by the public.
Alternatively, and as a possible reason for its base at St Hill, there are a number of languages spoken throughout the UK (not including “Geordie” which isn’t understandable to anyone, including Geordies). Cornish is growing in use, and there is even a Cornish speaking creche since 2010. Then there are the forgotten people of Wales and their language. And as you mention Gaelic. So – it all makes sense to me.
Mike Rinder says
Aha, thanks for the insight Martin. Always good to realize the church is ahead of the curve like this. Maybe they could also translate everything into Cockney rhyming slang. That would be fun. 🙂
Billy Windsock says
It is impossible to translate sci into cockney rhyming slang because sci is just gibberish. There is also no CRS for the exclamation mark. The whole scion thing is just a terrible two an’ eight.
basketballjane says
Maybe they are going to make their own search engine. You know so if someone dared to search Scientology on the internet, only great, church manufactured, church approved things would come up. The same thing that would pop up if they looked for Psychiatry or anything else. It would be a portal that would be all encompassing. They would turn on their computers and right there would be their daily news and info about everything that Scientology had changed in the last nano second and then they would log in and give their daily morning amount before they even had their coffee.
If they went onto some other sites, like Amazon to purchase something, it would block them from the purchase if it was more than their daily donation. And they could just make the camera’s on at all times on the computers so they could see and hear everything that was going on in the Scientologists homes. Then if anyone was even a teeny bit disaffected they could deploy a team of expert auditors (translation security will slam them on the meter and find out their crimes) to handle them.
Only then will total control happen.
Once they incorporate the internet, game over. The real “Truth” is out there and eventually they will all find it. Unless they deploy my brilliant plan. C’mon OSA goons out there you know this is a rock solid plan and I laid it all out for you. You guys don’t even have to give me credit. You can call it your idea. I won’t be mad.
Swampland4Sale says
basketballjane, a person I know in the S.O. sent me a picture of the home page for the Ideal Search Engine that DM will be pushing to the public to use. Here is the screen shot.
http://oi58.tinypic.com/2i203s.jpg
Mike Leopold says
Mike,
I think that Miscavige plans on directing his tsunami of “media presentation” completely INWARD in an effort to staunch the hemorrhaging of staff and public.
If it doesn’t work, and I don’t believe it will, I’d look for him to become severely apocalyptic, and do away with the forced gaiety we are currently witnessing.
Old Surfer Dude says
Mike, I’m sure you know more about this than I do, so, how much hemorrhaging do think is taking place? And, is it because of working conditions or fundraising overload? It would be wonderful to know that the exodus of staff and public is increasing substantially.
Mike Rinder says
I think that percentage wise it is increasing, though in raw figures it is probably staying about the same. But as there are less and less bubbledwellers the rate is actually increasing — now THAT’S straight up and vertical expansion on a global scale making planetary clearing a reality (standing ovation).
Jose Chung says
The targets and punishment from D.M. will increase
for fewer and fewer staff till a major snapping point is arrived at.
Check D.M.’s office waiting room coffee table for Bolivia real estate opportunities, Bolivia vacation hot spots,Bolivia business opportunities,
Learn to speak Bolivian books. That will be a clue.
Alanzo says
Mike wrote:
But as there are less and less bubbledwellers the rate is actually increasing — now THAT’S straight up and vertical expansion on a global scale making planetary clearing a reality (standing ovation).
R-O-L-L-I-N-G T-H-U-N-D-E-R!!!
Alanzo
Mike Rinder says
I think this is already largely true. The VAST majority of ANY AV production is directed at INTERNAL public (even the ads for TV, “Public Service Announcements” etc). They are used as fundraising gimmicks, shown a few times and are “retired” when the new one comes around.
They talk about the “earlier campaigns”. If you lived in the US when Jeff Hawkins, Bill Dendiu and Ronnie Miscavige were running the Dianetics campaign you saw the “question ads” repeatedly on TV. It was not “special pre-announced airings” seen once and gone, they were repeated over and over. The biggest advertisers in the world NEVER do a single ad, you see it over and over and they are campaigns. This is because it is what works — not because they have some ill-informed dictator that runs their ad agency who decrees that “this is how it is done.”
Scientology has massive film, video and sound studios and uses them NOT for dissemination, but to create fundraising props….
Zephyr says
Mike,
Say, is Bill Dendiu still in the bubble of has he flown the coop?
Greta
Mike Rinder says
Long gone. A born again Christian.
statpush says
“THIS IS THE PROJECT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR TO GET COMPLETED!
Do you want to see millions of new public walking up the Bridge and millions more finding out about our 4D Campaign? THIS IS THE SOLUTION FOR IT.”
Wait a minute…isn’t this what they said about Super Power?
Old Surfer Dude says
“THIS IS THE PROJECT WE HAVE ALL BEN WAITING FOR TO GET COMPLETED,” du jour.
Give it 15 minutes and they’ll be another new project that all have been waiting for to get completed.
Mike Rinder says
And Ideal Orgs. And The Basics. And GAT II. And GAT 1. And GAK. And GAA. And GAG me….
Old Surfer Dude says
With a spoon?
tony-b says
How delusional can you get to write this stuff when you have to know, if you [scientologists] would stop to think and not swallow the lies dished out, No one is coming in the org door except for pitiable people to have a glass of koolaid or others to have a laugh. Such a sorry mess of an organisation. Mary Baker’s Christian Science was weird and seems to have shut down but at least they had a decent newspaper that dared to print truth-reporting articles. I wonder if the Montor is still alive.
The Dark Avenger says
Yes, it survives online.
http://www.csmonitor.com/
Graham says
“As far as I know they speak English in the United Kingdom”.
At Saint Hill it could be any one of a bunch of East European languages?
Old Surfer Dude says
Graham, I can translate Pig Latin for them if need be.
Draco says
“Do you want to see millions of new public walking up the Bridge and millions more finding out about our 4D Campaign? THIS IS THE SOLUTION FOR IT.”
If this is true, why didn’t they start with this? Orgs would have grown naturally and there would have been no need to bankrupt the old faithfuls who have been around forever. Arse about face as usual…
Old Surfer Dude says
Draco, wait. Umm, I thought people were suppose to ROCKET up the bridge, not WALKING up the bridge. What happened? Are the remaining 19,000 members getting so old that ROCKETING up the bridge is just too much for them? Maybe they should start STROLLING up the bridge. With enough money thrown at it, it will become the Ideal Stroll. And that my friends will certainly cause planetary clearing on a massive scale.
Mike Rinder says
Hmmm, too logical. You don’t qualify to be correct public for this “dissemination” piece.
statpush says
CoS again, a day late and a dollar short. The TV industry is in the process of evolving, witness Netflix and Amazon Instant Video. The viewing public is insisting on video on-demand, and the industry is starting to respond. All the major players are moving to become online content providers.
So, when CoS finally completes their working TV station, uber media centre, the general public will have moved away from traditional TV.
TV is soooo last century.
Mike Rinder says
Only exceeded in its out-of-dateishness by printed promo…. And of course, they have an ideal building for that!
statpush says
I’m always amused by the church’s attitude and hubris when it comes to technology. They act as though they possess secret knowledge about the field, whether it be printing, video, audio, computers, networks, etc. That through the power of the Sea Org and secret LRH “advices”, they have mastered each of these highly specialized fields to produce a product that others only dream of.
They act like they are the only ones capable of such, and in fact they are correct – because everyone else has moved on to more sophisticated technology and methodology, making the church a kind of museum of antiquated technology.
And they talk about leading mankind, when in fact they continuously struggle to keep up with mankind…and never quite get there.
Old Surfer Dude says
Wow! If you throw enough money at ANYTHING in scientology, it can be ideal. I’m looking forward to Ideal Toilets with Ideal Toilet Paper.
Zephyr says
OSD
That would be pretty obvious – an LRH quote on EACH sheet!
Greta
Frik Blaauw says
And don’t forget DM’s photo on the working side. What a wonderful idea! I’m off to see if my printer can take a roll – and I’ll be in business!
.
Of course copyright issues will arise – RTC would want the new printing plants in LA to do it.
.
I couldn’t sell any T-shirts with his face on it at the local féte, but they did keep the flies away from the cake stand. Amazing phenomenon . . .
Hiatus57 says
The one thing to remember is a bubble fills up with gas (hot air from the Dwarf’s minions) and expands until it bursts.
I have already burst with laughter at the never ending stupidity of the passengers (those taken for a ride) who keep falling for the lies and tricks of the Dwarf.
But then again if you look at Joe Public in the USA and UK how many morons keep replacing their “gadgets” over and over and over again as they simply must have the latest version because some stupid “personality” has one or its a “lifestyle” product as stated in some rag or internet rant site.
Who could possible use a cell phone that is a year old?
I don’t even own one.
These idiots spend all there income on this utter junk and its the same in Scientology.
A fool and his/her money are soon parted.
Corporate Scientology is the same as Corporate anything.
Its ALL about money extraction from the stupid to the clever and wicked and nothing more.
I suppose that at laest in the non- Scientology world you do get something in exchange for your money other than a “you a hero Bollocks” and on to the next ideal rip off LOL
LOL
Frik Blaauw says
Dear Mike,
.
This project is very important, and must be completed as soon as possible. You see, the number of whales are diminishing and new ones must be caught!
.
And although the Scots’ nationalists have been driven further north, who knows when they’ll start speaking Scots, and the Welsh and then the Irish . . . and of course the English now speak Pakistani mostly. So not just any Translations Unit will do – but an Ideal one!
.
I had such a wonderful interview to go and work there – I have English at O-Level – but that’s not what they were looking for. And on top of that they found out my parents were married. Oh dear.
Frik Blaauw says
And instead of writing : “We have officially completed the funding of the construction of the Ideal Translations Unit”, I would have written ” . .the funding FOR the construction of ” . . .
.
I can see why I didn’t get the job of janitor there.
Mike Rinder says
Wow Frik, that is some really sophisticated grammar nitpicking 🙂 They made a huge advance here in that they spelled the words right.
MaBű says
AOSH UK: “This is probably the most exciting project that we have ever had on Planetary Dissemination”
Dear Frik,
They need your help to take it to the next level. Please help them.
http://www.kli.org/
http://home.comcast.net/~markg61/vlif.htm
http://www.rihan.org/drupal/
(I’m unable to help because in my spare time I’m busy enjoying my out-Co$ processing).
Bruce says
“New whales must be caught…”
Doesn’t little Davey Miscarriage understand that there is a hunting moratorium on whales since the 1970’s? (LOL)….but, like Japan and Finland, maybe Davey can work out a way to get around the moratorium by hunting only “for population research purposes…” After all, CO$ doesn’t know the full tally of available financial whales worldwide, so they’ll just hop on the Freewinds, winch up the harpoon guns, and sail from port to port looking for whale donors
SILVIA says
This IS the project= This IS the solution= This IS what we have been waiting for= This IS the Ideal Dissemination- This IS…=.
Basically A=A=A=A…maybe that is why they can’t SEE it.
However, Dear Leader translates all this into: $=$=$=$=more$, after all he has completed the Student Hat and understands it all.