Join the fun this evening for 2.5 hours of AI generated Shermanspeak delivered in the weird cadence and tone of David Miscavige. Hear the incredible (ie beyond belief) exploits and accomplishments of Ron – the greatest man in the history of this universe. Enjoy the full calisthenics work out as the faithful rise and sit back down and rise and sit back down again in a series of forced standing ovations as regular as the tide. Watch as the Birthday Game winners are presented, their lack of anything accomplished papered over with flowery language about being powerhouses and champions and winning horses.
They will struggle to fill Ruth Eckerd Hall — which seats 2200 — as they always do. Even with all Sea Org members and outer org trainees. The claimed 11,000 Scientologist in the community are phantoms or perhaps just BTs. They have been holding these events in this same small venue for 30 years. Where is the unprecedented growth?
And as for “the gift he most wished for: expansion” that will be in short supply. In fact, the only “expansion” they will be mentioning is the 3 new buildings they finally opened in Mexico City, Austin and Chicago. There is more square footage — and less people to occupy it. So all the focus will be on the number of bricks laid, yards of handwoven carpet, number of custom signs painted etc etc.
They will wrap it up with the most bizarre ritual of singing Happy Birthday to a man who has been dead for 38 years. Isn’t it about time they changed this silliness? That’s not the scientology way of course. They are like a time warp stuck in the 20th century when everything they believe and do was established by “Ron” and it shall remain that way forever.
To: Mike Rinder’s Blog.
From: Office of Special Affairs. Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad Nation of Islam/Sea Org speaking on behalf of David Miscavige COB RTC.
Re: disrespect of L. Ron Hubbard.
His Most Illustrious Holiness, Our Beloved COB, insists that all of this Ron bashing cease at once. Do you not know that you are attacking the second greatest man who ever lived, the Greatest being Our Beloved COB?
Look at all the wonderful things our founder has done for the world! Why:
In 1958 LRH saved the entire cotton crop in the south by entering into two way comm with the boll weevils and asking them to leave.
In 1943, while on active duty in the navy, sunk a Japanese aircraft carrier with only a pair of chopsticks.
It was LRH who saved Proctor and Gamble from bankruptcy in the early 1960s by creating the character Mr. Whipple and casting Dick Wilson in the role.
I could go on but the accomplishments of this great being are too numerous to list here. To reiterate, Our Beloved COB insists that these attacks cease at once.
ML,
Midshipman Shanaynay Muhammad Nation of Islam/Sea Org speaking for David Miscavige COB RTC.
To: Shanaynay Muhammad nation of scotch swilling COB or whatever grandiose title you gave yourself!
From: Alcoboy
Re: Getting your facts straight.
First of all, we only pointed out how pointless it was to sing birthday songs to a dead man. Second, all that horseshit about LRH talking to boll weevils and sinking ships with a pair of chopsticks is laughable. And third, you tell your infamous piece of shit COB that he can only hide from process servers for so long.
By the way, are you still locked up?
No Love At All,
Alcoboy
For some reason the Hubbard birthday makes me think of Hubbard at the party of high society 1966 Rhodesians or an afternoon tea party.
Hubbard in one of the photos is leaning awkwardly into a small group of other people’s conversation, he’s not being given any attention, and he’s sort of butting into other people’s conversations awkwardly.
All of Scientology is like that photo, awkwardly butting into human history, and not for society’s benefit for sure.
Hubbard’s Xenu R6 implanted body-thetans exorcism/soul-freeing I don’t think is humanity’s problem, thus the OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 exorcism/soul-freeing Hubbard inventive “solutions” are just a waste of time and money.
Hubbard’s Scientology butting into the world and not doing anyone a favor, but taking a lot of people’s time and money and doing worse to them.
It’s a beautiful weekend
and I’m so glad I’m not wasting a moment of it at the LRH Birthday Event.
In the beginning I enjoyed them
after some years they were just torture
Hip Hip Hurrah, freedom from the bra
I was never a fan of applauding a photo or the cheering when I was ‘in’. It felt so contrived…. I’m soooo happy we’re OUT 😎
When is the LA event? I have heard nothing ….
Part of the last paragraph got me laugh harder than it should have. “They will wrap it up with the most bizarre ritual of by singing Happy Birthday to a man who has been dead for 38 years.”. This is one of the most insane things I have heard. I can’t imagine what that is like singing for a dead man. Like you said it’s bizarre.
Yes, I remember when the first birthday came around the year Hubbard died, and we began this odd habit at the birthday.
Odd habits follow cult leaders’ already odd lives, birds of a feather, contagion of aberation.
Following in the cult leader’s wackiness. The LRH Offices in all Hubbard empire facilities is odd enough. Singing for the dead cult founder, kind of cements followers into the odd Hubbard world.
I wonder if the freezone indie Scientologists bother to sing for Hubbard, I wouldn’t if I had ever been at a splinter Scientology LRH birthday “event.” which I don’t even think they hold, good for them.
Chuck Beatty
ex Sea Org 1975 to 2003, I lived through a lotta LRH birthdays when he was alive to when he wasn’t.
As a never in it has always been interesting to here about former members thoughts and experiences. Especially in these types of cases with the events that go on in Scientology.
I think the “freezone” has gone the way of Scamology as a whole. Dead in the water. One can only chase BT’s with an electronic butterfly net for so long before one stops deluding oneself…
Praise Xenu for that!
Chuck Beatty
ex staff 75 to 03
i don’t know how they stand it. it’s like they are too hypnotized to see what’s in front of them. few hundred local scinos. empty buildings. not even ten thousand nots completions yet and most of them haveb blown etc. they are miserable most of the day with forced labor lockdowns all nighters and stay pushes. how do they not see this with internet all over the place now. 🤔
What a shame. Anyone who has been there for at least 10 years (but even less) knows deep down that the boat isn’t going anywhere but is leaking from every joint, and it’s even pouring rain. They’ll have to stand up and applaud repeatedly and shout in amazement like in North Korea, but the public knows that the load of crap they’ve been fed for years without visible results is just PR and “irreal orgs”.
They should start asking: Where’s the damn product, Dave?!? I don’t see any!
Where’s the damn product, Dave?!? I don’t see any!
“Fuck the product! I just want the cash to keep flowing into my bank accounts.”
Lol. That’s exactly what the little goblin is doing since decades.
I would rather not go to this event. The idea of it just is very odd. Celebrating dead man who is a proven liar and fraud along with MANY other things is a concept that is just to much for me to take in.
As a side note as an art major in college the design of that ad/poster is horrible I can’t get over it.
Great decision. You’re right not to go there. You would end up in a statistic, and then they would try to sell you something for the rest of the evening, without you being able to escape.
They have (or should have) a team that conducts surveys before any promo is designed.
Unless miscavige passes by and says, “Reintroduce the successful one from ’89.” Then no survey is needed. He knows best .
I have lived in Clearwater Florida since 1975 when the Vietnam War ended and my dad retired to Pinellas County and when L Ron Hubbard die on 1-24-1986 in California the space shuttle program was looking in to if the space shuttle program could launch the space shuttle in California and on 1-28-1986 the first time a space shuttle the Challenger was put on complex 39B and it blew up in 73 seconds and the end of nasas plan to launch from California and all were launch from the Kennedy space center and i was in the Kennedy space center on 2-1-2003 when the space shuttle Columbia did not make it back and Israel first Astronaut and i was in the Kennedy space center when it ended on 7-21-2011and I have been a yearly pass since 2000 and I go to Clearwater Beach on Sunday and i drive past the flag building and I am poor and I am NOT a Scientologist and good luck and godspeed to L Ron Hubbard ((((((((( i think if I could find a job that pays and I make $ 21.00 a hour with the scientology i would try to give it a go And GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED TO L RON HUBBARD
And the upshot of that brain hurting drivel is?
Who knows how many Epic news! I can’t wait.
Every year is an expansion greater than the previous one. And here they have three years of unprecedented expansion to tell, they won’t know where to start. Surely it can’t be missed how crucial they have been during COVID and how many hectoliters of decon 7 they have irradiated everywhere even by plane. And then there will be the guy from some unknown country who grows potatoes and with the tech now has stats that are literally hammering the ceiling to go to the upper floor. And let’s not forget those lost in the Mexican jungle who are giving to book 1 sessions for whoever passes by.
And last but not least, who knows how many “ideal” square meters added to the existing ones.
“And let’s not forget those lost in the Mexican jungle who are giving book 1 sessions for whoever passes by.”
😂😂😂
Yes, what a laugh, I remembered an article by Mike, where there was this wooden hut in the Yucatan jungle with a sign that said ‘in session’, and where this guy was giving book 1 sessions and survival courses. Surely, by embellishing it, they’ll manage to turn it into a good news story. What clowns.
I remember! It looked like an outhouse, iirc. 😂
Good god, even back in the day when the cult was hoppin’ busy, these events were a stomach turner for me. It all seemed so fake and contrived. And it was. There is more fun to be had at a toddler’s birthday party where one can gorge themselves on cake and ice cream and genuine enthusiasm is present in large quantities.
I’m totally with you on that Ms B Haven. That was my experience too. And as for Ruth Eckhert Hall being the new venue. Mike’s right: it holds very little, especially compared with the earlier venues used such as the Shrine
Auditorian in LA. Even back over 10 years ago, the SO were ordered to wear their “civvies” for the event so that they would look like they were paying public and not SO Members. Civvies mean civilian clothing and not SO uniforms. And as reported on previous Mike Rinder blogs, the church has also resorted to hiring and paying actresses and actors to fill up the seats too. The church is ever dwindling in membership. That does not Clear the planet.
Cindy, it seems that for the upcoming events they want to return to the Shrine. They have finally approved a CSW for 8,000 human looking cardboard cutouts. Just been sarcastic.
Losing my religion: I’m loosing it laughing. That is some funny shit.
Cindy I was laughing too when I wrote it. Hope they don’t stole the idea.