Seriously, who comes up with these catchphrases?
This time Shake and Bake included a photo. Always nice to put a face to the most unfortunately appropriate name in scientology.
Dear Frank,
We have officially launched into the new year and started a new IAS decade — The Next Decade of Relentless Advance!
As this is the first week of 2015, I wanted to ensure you are on board as an IAS Field Disseminator and to know if you need any assistance to make this your best and most productive year starting now.
To give you some instant inspiration, I included in this email (see below) three short stories which illustrate the power of just some of the IAS-sponsored campaigns, when they touch another human being.
Realize, that these stories happen day in and day out — thanks to your support of the IAS as a Field Disseminator and a member of the team!
Read the stories and share them with your fellow Scientologists — use them to get at least one new membership or Honor Status completed before the end of this week.
I am looking forward to hear from you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sincerely,
Shaked Flash
Director of Field Dissemination
IAS Administrations
Tel: 323.953.3490
And just for some more fun, here is a new type of IAS “Commendation” — forget the “4th dynamic salvage campaigns” or “the largest disaster relief force on earth” — the IAS is now exclusively about buying buildings: Narconons, orgs and Advanced Orgs.
Anyone these days who tries to claim that scientology is not all about collecting money is proven a liar by the organization’s own promotional pieces.
Below is a Canadian Scientologist defending the Gibney doc… you can see these sheep are fed 2 pieces of bullshit: 1) It’s a One sided story and 2) It’s a lie because we are expanding.
Number 2 is an Achilles heel. When the chair next to “Horse” is empty and Hollywood has gone anti Scientology he might take a look at the other side because maybe Freedom Mag is the red flag for a One Sided story.
“Horse says Jan 28 :
Following up again on this ONE-SIDED story.
How come the great impartial CBC is so one-sided on this issue? Seems like ALL the media runs the same one-sided stories all the time. That fact alone is a huge RED FLAG and would prompt me to personally find out what all the ruckus is about. So this is a big deal? Why then is Scientology expanding so fast?
Could it be that people in high places are not happy with this? I wonder why?”
“Robert, all of your questions and concerns will be terminatedly handled with the implementation of GAT 3 concurrent with the unveiling of SMP at the next event. Let’s get you confirmed. How many people will you be bringing?”
ML,
Office of Global Expansion – This Sector is Ours
The next decade for the IAS?
The next decade for the FAX machine?
The next decade for the cordless phone?
Excuse me Shake and Bake, but what next IAS decade? Oh, the one in your head. Riiight. You go for it buddy…
Oh, and I hope you had a great time at Sundance! I am really looking forward to being able to view the documentary when HBO airs it in March. I wish we didn’t have to wait until then. Thank you for your blog and all you do, and please continue to speak out about human rights violations whenever and wherever you observe them. A word to everyone. 🙂
The IAS is the biggest rip -off. Let’s see some accountability of where those funds are going. Spreadsheets please. Details, receipts, invoices, bank statements. Let’s see some proof of the millions upon millions of people “helped” – in what manner, where? Also, I have no confidence in someone who lacks basic writing skills in official communications – Shaked Flash, “I am looking forward to hear from you” is improper grammar. On a different subject, Not to be unduly harsh, because the sentiment seems sincere, but another poster here has made a haphazard word salad of his/her post with a uniquely strange mix of mis-spellings, confused and inappropriate wordings, improper grammar… it almost looks as if it was written as some kind of a coded message. I’m guessing either a non-native English speaker wrote it, or composed it in their native language, then put it into an online language translator, which jumbled it a bit (it sort of looks like assembly instructions I get for furniture shipped from China, it’s English, but doesn’t quite make sense) or maybe it was posted by someone not used to writing who tried to sound more adept with language than he or she really is. Anyway, between that post and the usual improper writing in the Scientology letter, I have a headache.
TJ You could have ended your comment here: “I am looking forward to hear from you” is improper grammar. Instead, you went on at length about another comment that seemed sincere to you. Yet there are folks who comment and English may not be there first language, there are folks who are not grammar and spelling wizards, and there are folks (such as myself) who long for an edit button. Your comment has far more impact if you end it with “improper grammar,” and not go off on a tirade about another person’s comment. It makes for headaches.
their first language … see why I long for that edit button?
So true, Les.
Plus, the original LRH OT Levels are not even delivered in the COS at all and haven’t been for decades. Getting auditing outside of the cult is the way it was supposed to bei in the first place…..a purely enlightening and freeing experience with no “twists” added.
My guess is that the Gibney film is going to negatively impact Ideal Org Fundraising ihenceforth and that if any new orgs get bought/built/renovated the money will come from the IAS and not the general public. I would love for this to be true insofar as Whale donations go but I have a theory that the more heavily invested in something people are money-wise is the greater their need to be right about it, as well as the greater their reluctance to confront and possibly be embarrassed and ashamed for having been wrong. We all know that Mark Twain expression about how its easier to fool someone than to admit that we have been fooled – something like that.
May I say, hats off to all who invested huge amounts of money, or many years of time, and tremendous effort, or all of the above, and then had the courage and confront and necessary self-honesty to accept the truth about the cult and walk away and rebuild your lives. Hats off to you! And may you be followed soon by many more.
It believe the time has come for Dave to continue his research for GAT 3 in a fully exterior state.
Mike,
It is so nice to have you back at the helm home safe & sound with your Wife and Children. I must also say your self effacing comments post viewing at Sundance only strengthen my assessment of you. They truly show you along with the others in the production are of significant merit.
I feel as though the outreach of the production will only combine with other factors to bring about a critical mass that will bring about significant change in the future.
So often the public must be spoon-fed by the media important historical or sociological events in order for them to grasp what has been present for such a long period in our present history. This then strikes a resonant societal chord that grows and cannot be stopped.
Also in life many strive to bring about change for the betterment of our society for us it is an unattainable goal we shall never achieve try as we might. Through the suffering that you, Jason, Marc, Marty, Paul and Spanky have suffered to name a few to this day, change will come. I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You along with the other unsung heroes will impact history which will inspire us all.
Along with the other contributors to this project all have my heartfelt condolences as do those whom to this day continue to suffer the unwarranted torment. You are not and shall not be dismissed the US (317 million), Australia ( 23.7 million) and Europe (731 million) will soon begin to here of the atrocities committed against you and others for decade’s past.
Their are those who have reported diligently whom were once your combatants that are now your allies, the number only grows. While they as well as myself have never taken a step in your or the other’s shoes, empathy is a strong factor that cannot be easily dismissed. Now the cause grows that unites this mass along with the upcoming onslaught of public opinion to the destructive policies of Scientology.
David Miscavige can only hide behind his ill-begotten fortune with his hired thugs, lawyers and unwitting slaves for only so long. David did you realize there are Federal laws regarding the interception of wire communications? I don’t believe you have the budget or tools that our country currently possesses in this regard do you?
For all of our American, Australian or European faults one does draw from our history that when the iron is struck in our collective public consciousness. Well then our society becomes to turn a phrase, dauntless against all forms of oppression.
Mike, you along with countless others who have suffered at the hands of Scientology and David Miscavige. You are going to impact the history of not only the USA but the World in which we live, not a small feat. That in of itself is quite the accomplishment I can only imagine your resolve will only grow Stronger.
Carry On!
+1000
Akos Kunfalvy is apparently a big deal. Here’s a picture of him with Tom Cruise (http://i.imgur.com/NEXQo.png). He looks like he is a Freedom of Valor winner – here’s picture of him with David Miscavige (http://i0.wp.com/www.mikerindersblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/hungarian_freedommedalwinners_cob.jpg?resize=960%2C753).
Doesn’t Miscavige look like a character from a 1930s gangster film? Anyway…
Akos runs a website called Drogmentes (drug-free in Hungarian) which no doubt is a Scientology based-site. He makes no attempt to hide his admiration of Hubbard. In fact, if you go to his website and click on his “About Me” page (http://www.drogmentes.hu/a-mozgalomrol/bemutatkozas/kunfalvy-akos-alapito.html), he even quotes Hubbard half-way down.
The page is in Hungarian, so perhaps Google-Translate won’t be that great, but it’s still worth a read.
I find it very sad that Hungary seems to be a fertile ground for the Church of Scientology.
Perhaps they’re hungary for the tech. (Sorry, couldn’t resist).
Wow, in that second pic – Little Dave looks like a third-grader playing dress up!
Looking at the antics of the Cof$ is a little like watching a freshly caught fish flapping around on the bank trying to gain purchase and swim off. Does one take the hook out and kick it back into the water or knock it on the head and it becomes dinner? But I believe the freshwater fishing laws in the US state it is illegal throw suckers back.
Pity and bewilderment has all but replaced any antagonism I’ve felt for the antics of RCS members. Watching them flap around on the bank is not much fun, I just hope their stupidity is brought to halt sooner rather than later.
Today as I got onto the blog via Google I saw the Freedumb REaction to the Sundance film in FIRST place. Wow, I wonder how many 1000s of $s, blackmail, bribes etc it cost to achieve getting those victimish responses out there at the top.
Greta
It probably always was more about money than case gain in the Church. From my perspective, the public was greatly impacted by the 5% per month increases which took effect in the 1980’s. Case gain went off the rails with GAT I, GAT II, retreading, 3 swing F/N’s, and finally, the IAS which totally bypassed the LRH doctrine of exchange. No wonder Corporate Scientology is a train wreck.
Beryl,
Seems like a pretty good synopsis to me.
Train wreck is right.
The body language of the person in the photo looks like his stomache is squirming, the way he has his arms crossed over it, holding it in….
Hey Dainty Dave…Hitler was relentless too. Right up until he R2-45ed himself.
What a problem Miscavige has! He has mobilized his lawyers, PIs, and the “editors and writers” at Freedom Magazine, and he has started a Twitter campaign, all to fight Going Clear, Gibney, et al. He, however, appears to have “forgotten” to mobilize the “millions of church members world wide.” Where are the huge protests? Where are the huge press conferences? Could it be that Miscavige is terrified of the film because there is no way to prevent the remaining 10,000 members from watching and hearing about it? How many public parishoners are being asked about the film at work, or getting phone calls from family about it? Is Miscavige going to punish every parishoner who hears about the film? Are they going to be forced to disconnect from work mates and remaining family so that they don’t spread entheta about the “lie” of forced disconnection? Oh what a wicked web Miscavige has woven with his deceptions.
David can mobilize and refute all he wants. He can sue for libel for all I care. It’ll all have the same effect as taking Debbie Cook to court. Every time he does it there will be someone in the wings to jump on it and make mincemeat of his denials and allegations of “all lies.”
Nope. All of his antics are strictly an attempt to prevent an exodus of those remaining. It’s all for the koolaid drinkers.
Too many holes in the dike Davey.
Good point! Where’s the shoulder to shoulder stand against suppression.
How Portland has now become a forgotten rally cry.
You are very accurate in implying that miscavige would be terrified of bringing this film to the attention of his parishioners/followers/punters/whatever you want to call them. It’s nothing but ethics for them even at the slightest mention of it. His only defence now is wog based technologies like lawyer’s threats and other similar actions.
Twitter campaign, eh? Is that the new GAT update for ‘Do birds fly?’
I finally got it! Shaked Flash is the new Super strength kool-aid that sheeple drink to increase their willingness to follow command intention.
Damn! I didn’t metab AGAIN!! Lemme go to the ASHO canteen and get me a can of that new Shaked Flash stuff. It’s supposed to make you feel energetic AND in ethics too. But … one question … how come the initials for command intention are CI? I thought CI was kinda bad, you know? (news flash: it’s even worse than you think)
You know, when I first compared DM to Stalin a few years ago, I was a little bit apprehensive. Stalin’s body count could instantly make any comparison into excessive hyperbole (not to mention that Stalin was three inches taller than the Toxic Dwarf). But now…
That phrase “Decade of Relentless Advance” is straight out of Soviet propaganda. It’s something that could have been, and was probably, used to promote a Five-Year Plan. “We will relentlessly advance to fulfill the requirements of the Five-Year Plan!” Put it on one of those cool Social Realism posters, and it would be at home. By extending it out to a decade, I guess that Scientology is saying that it’s twice as…well, twice as something as the Soviets. I’m not sure what, but I’m certain there’s a laundry list of evil actions that we can choose from.
Wonder what that vehement anti-communist L. Ron would have thought about pulling pimp lines out of the commie’s oeuvre?
“Shaked Flash”…..(Giggling uncontrollably…)
“SHAKED FLASH” is his name? (The Milk I was drinking at that moment starts shooting out of my nose…)
Wow, unreal….like a half-backed leftover name from a comic hero naming brainstorming session.
His stage name. I have it on good authority that his birth name was Shocked Flush. Just tweaked it a wee bit for the cameras.
I thought it was Stuck Flush due to the plumbing problems in Big Blue.
FDSM = Field Dissemination Sado Masochist – a very important post! Now, let’s see, an IAS Field Disseminator’s VFP (valuable final product) is money donated for overpriced attorneys, private investigators and Gold photoshoots, correct?
In order to have a “NEXT decade of relentless advance” requires that the previous decade relentlessly advanced. I guess it’s accurate if your only stat is counting square feet of buildings.
Exactly…there is something so Orwellian about “…relentless advance…Ewww
With all of the information about Scientology available to people, they only have themselves to blame for continuing to invest their money into this organization. As long as the Church continues to concentrate on buying and renovating buildings, they have less money for promotion of their services. So maybe it’s a OK thing.
Now what exactly is this “honor status” Shaky is advertising here.
If a money grabbing, stinking lying and cheating organization issues fake statuses they would be more properly called “dishonor statuses”.
This is like the mafia giving the status of ’employee of the month’ for everybody who robbed 3 banks in a week. Only very few people would call that a honor status.
And how honorable is that to give money so $50 million alone can be spend to harass a family and erect a wall of lies or to finance the salaries of some low life smear artists so they can work on the ‘Freedumb’ mag and smear the shit out of it.
I think anybody obtaining these days a honor status from the CO$ based on his or her financial contributions has dishonored himself by being either too ignorant or unwilling to see and verify what his money is used for or just by being a plain idiot beyond help.
There you go again with your logic Gerhard. 😉
Spot on Gerhard.
Maybe a recognition of ‘Scientologist of the month’ along with a photo like you see in MacDonalds might be a nice touch too, big smiley face and all 🙂
I think what they have on their hands is called dishonorable discharge or in $cientologeeze it is referred to as Daveshit.
So what has happened to good old Mr. Shakedown himself, Mr. Teddy Braggin?
Yo Teddy,
Who are your prospects for defrauding this week. Make sure you properly misrepresent who you are, what you do and the pure Daveshit that you say the money you steal from parishioners is going to be used for. Make no mistake Ted, the funds you steal this week will be needed next week for your humanitarian private eyes to stalk and fair game decent folks everywhere.
Get a life you piece of shit! That goes for you too Dave. By the way, I’m talking to some new acquaintances about blowing your kool aide pop stand and I am considering expanding my scope to start delivering tell all stories to public service organizations to be sure the word gets out about your cult.
I now return you to your regular programming……………….
Sorry, just can’t resist taking a pot-shot at ol’ Teddy Braggin…geez, what a creature. Never have I met a more finer specimen that embodies the word “sleaze bag.” After spending a few hours in a reg cycle with Teddie, I felt like I’d been slimed (ref. Ghostbusters). Serious, there is something wrong, mentally and spiritually, with this guy. Brrrr…creepy.
You go Cooper!
Ted Braggin – slimey, sleazy IAS Registrar.
He takes “regging” to a whole new level of LOW!
He gave me the creeps the first time I met him.
There should be a blog dedicated to the absurd, kooky, whacky Reg Cycles conducted by Ted Braggin.
Wow – that guy is slime.
Cooper, Statpush, McCarran, Idle Morgue: Teddy used to be a real sweet guy. Very sorry to hear what you’re saying. It must have taking a real lot of bad to make him like that! Please keep that in mind. He was not like this.
I have nothing but compassion for most of those still in this group. I have been them and understand where they’re coming from, ie, most of them.
“Decade of Relentless Advance” towards what?
Paying more scumbag lawyer and P.I.invoices (yes I use the term scumbag in relation to those workiing for RCo$)
More full page ads? Stay as far behind the times as you are (this isn’t the fifties or sixties any more)
If anyone in RCo$ actually came to present time…………. the shock of reality would probably kill them
Keep digging that hole DM you’ll go far enough for the RCo$ to “China Syndrome”
Relentless. Yes, relentless in the pursuit of making self right and others wrong, in the pursuit of domination and to escape the domination of others. “Be relentless so the sp’s don’t get you” is a computation that is insidious because it pretends to align with survival. PRETENDS says it all.
+100
Mike I think you would enjoy this.
As DM drives the Church more and more into his donations only scam, and dramatizes the worst of religion, Scientologists would gain by understanding the history of the subject.
Excerpted from “The Christ Conspiracy The Greatest Story Ever Sold” by Acharya S, Chapter “Enter Rome”, page 354:
“After centuries of killing millions around the globe and stealing their wealth, the Catholic Church became more “refined” in its extortionist policy, sending out its financial missionaries, the Jesuits.
The Jesuits are the most effective proselytizers of Catholicism worldwide, for centuries envied by the other orders for their abilities to acquire vast fortunes and properties.
Over the past couple of centuries, the Jesuit handbook, “Secret Instructions of the Society of Jesus”, has found its way into the hands of outsiders who have published it.
This guidebook, or “Monita”, focuses on how to defraud old ladies by telling them that they will receive grace if they submit to the confessor, who will then oversee how every penny of theirs is spent and make sure their wills are made out to the Order. The Monita also describes how to convince the rich that donation to the Church will “relive the pains of purgatory”.
In order to secure these fortunes, the Jesuits appeal to the vanity of the donor by insuring that he or she will have his or her name on a college or university building.
The Monita was written in Latin, of course, so that only the educated would have any chance of knowing what it contained and that it would therefore remain secret.”
You might acknowledge that there is CONSIDERABLE debate about the authenticity of the Monita. Along the lines with The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.
Smokey,
Did you miss the point of my post?
Let me spell it out for you: Scientologists are being scammed by the same buttons that Big Religion has being pushing on people forever. They might sound different, but it is the same old shit with another name.
and interestingly enough the current pope is a JESUIT!
Greta
Greta,
Yes vey funny, but it looks like he is also is trying to rock the boat. He seems to be a caring guy.
Conan, did you miss my point that basing your argument on a discredited medieval document might negate your comment?
No I didn’t miss your point. Follow the link that I provided and verify the data with the book and the references provided by the scholar. You can actually ask Acharya S to answer your question at any of her many blogs.
You must be a Scientologists, I can tell by your literalism, your misplaced alter importance of the point of my post and your infantile attempts at dodging the issue.
The Elder of Zion’s was an anti Jewish, political propaganda used by the Nazis earlier in the last century.
It is NOT the same kind of thing as the Vatican and his related organizations accumulating massive amounts of wealth, property and control over their parishioners lives for centuries.
Scientologists like you keep dodging the issue, pretending that Scientology is Oh so exclusive and different from ANYTHING in history and the universe, while they are being hammered by every trick in the old religionists playbooks.
No, it is the Religion bud.
Time to fundraise baby now
I’m the Shaked Flash
Come on, come on, come, come on baby now
Give me all your cash
We’ll work it out, honey
It’s for the greatest good
I’ll take all your money
Just like you knew that I would
You know you resist, little girl
You know you resist so fine
Come on and resist a little more now
And let me know that you’re mine, woo
Time to fundraise baby now
I’m the Shaked Flash
Come on, come on, come, come on baby now
Give me all your cash
We’ll work it out, honey
It’s for the greatest good
I’ll take all your money
Just like you knew that I would
Michael — your mind must be a very fascinating place to visit 🙂
Keep it coming.
Odd
Thanks Odd – making up for lost time stuck in the thought reform camp.
“Relentless Advance” is me advancing to the recycle bin after more relentless junk mail from The Church of Scientology.
“Shaked Flash”, is that his porno name? Or just a dyslectic Flash Gordon?
The CO$ has really slid into a non-Amway based cult. No more time consuming memorization of Lroons wit and wisdom. No more holding the cans and praying for that happy floating needle. No more laborious listening to Lroons lectures. No more ‘success stories’, just give money and ‘earn status’.
That does cut down on the overhead, no more commission to case supervisors, no more expensive auditors (until sec check time anyway). Just a few bucks to the Sea bOrg every week and DM still gets his nice scotch.
That will be the death knell of the clampire. Not even the whales will put up with the new tiered scam.
Decade of Relentless Advance = could you pay in advance for the next 10 years?
Boy, are these guys behind the times. The OT levels are already being delivered in every continental zone. Just not in the RCS. Proof positive that fancy buildings ain’t got nothin to do with it.
Right on LDW I’m on OTIII in the indy field and my C/S is the greatest. There is only one source and it isn’t Davey boy. Soon this will hit him as his world implodes for perverting
the bridge for his own benefit.
Right on, great, Good Old Boy!
Shaked Flash ? That can’t be his actual name. So bizarre the cultist mind.
It sounds like the assumed name of a guy who stalks public parks dressed in only a raincoat. This guy is truly out of touch with the regular world.
Zana: That was exactly my image! The shocked beholder gets a free shake with every flash.
He actually exposes himself in public and then shakes it for good measure, hence the name.
That’s his super hero name. It comes from an action metaphor whereby one lifts up a person, and shakes them until all of their money falls out of their pockets. And he does it quickly, in a flash, so thus the name.
He’s really just a cartoon.
🙂
“Shaked” – a Jewish name for a girl
Where did you get the commendation?
At least it’s official (one again) – Narconon is Scientology is IAS is David Miscavige.
Reletentless Advance… has a nice ring of bitterness to it.
The relentless advance is of course approaching from the fringes of the internet.
Yo Dave,
Your ass is mothballs good buddy. We are coming for you and the only real question is whether it will be a lights out punch to the face or a fifteen round decision. We really don’t care which.
Dave, trust me on this one: You don’t want to mess with Coop. You just don’t. You’ll lose EVERY TIME! He’s gone through hell with your cult, but he’s still at the top of his game. You’d be like a gnat to him.
Comparisons:
“I am consciousness, I am alive, I am Chappie.”
“I am bitterness, I am a liar, I am Davey.”
Mike, are leaks about the film already showing up? Will the stunned silence after the full page ads continue? What happens when the theatrical release and then the HBO TV release hit?
shit hits fan
HUGE piles of shit. You know the kind. Shit that’s AT LEAST 40 feet high! Shit you can see for miles.
And it’s all part of that wonderful beingness we call Dave………
Yeah man. Shit hitting fan. Puke – it’s so disgusting!
🙂
Science Doc
My guess is that with $ 1 billion in the bank and harpooned whales lined up to pay for more attack ads, it will be business as usual or I should say “foot bullets” as usual.
I don’t think we have to worry about any kind of mea culpa ads or apology ads or even a statement to the press like “we will look into the allegations”. Noooo… instead they will create more and more of the same big whooper lies attacking their critics. What idiots. Seems there is no limit to their ability to create bad PR.
With their own parishioners it will be a referral to Freedom Magazine or some OSA “terminal” and this will explain everything. Their answer? – Flourish and Prosper – that’ll out-create the SP’s.
Oi vey!
It not only sucks to be Miscavige, it just plain sucks to be a scientologist. I harken back to one of the best things I read on my way out, Lawrence Wrights article, The Apostate in the New Yorker where Paul Haggis said something to the effect of, “I was in a cult and everybody knew it but me.”
It sucks to be a scientologist and everybody knows it but them. It’s sad.
And here is one of the definitions of relentless: ‘oppressively constant’ – indeed oppressive, but about to implode.
And along the lines of KSW-100% On Source and Standard, where the hell does this Field Disseminator Hat came from? Oops, sorry, I forgot the GAT II compilations.
It’s all so militant. “We will clear this planet NOW!!! Anyone who gets in the way will be defrauded, lied to, or DESTROYED UTTERLY!!!!!”
Methinks they’re taking that Crusade theme a bit too literally.
I think he should go with your “Shake and Bake” name. Much catchier. These guys are sooooooooooo desperate right now. Watching their pathetic tweets is just sad really. They are trying to out tweet the story of Going Clear and are failing so fabulously.
BBJ,I like, for a name, “Try And Fail.” Don’t you think it just rolls off the tongue? Such as:
SO 1: Hi Try And Fail! How’s your day?”
Try And Fail: Really shitty! I tried to work, but, failed all day.