OK, shred your commendations. Hide you “Humanitarian” cards. Give your special bronze, silver and gold Valley hard hats to the nearest construction site. Send your Infinity Club leather jackets to the Salvation Army.
Valley has a NEW status symbol.
You don’t want to be caught not keep up with the Joneses (Cartwrights?) and have an OLD status symbol do you?
Of course not. Those hard hats are so April. And the jackets are positively last year.
It’s time for you to get yourself a “Legend Pin” which you can proudly display alongside your numerous IAS pins.
No self-respecting Valley KoolAid drinker would be seen dead without a “V Legend” pin on their lapel. It is the ultimate in status among the KoolAid set (at least until next week…)
And just to make sure you really get the message, here is a new email showing off the grammatical and spelling skills of the “OT” committee. Guess they are unfamiliar with the plural or feminine form of “hero” (heroes and heroines).
12 years after the strategy was announced, the ideal org that is home to the largest number of scientologists on earth remains a hopeful vision to be seen from surfers riding the waves to shore in unison. Valley Org is nowhere near the beach…
The OT Committee of the Valley. Hopeless romantics. Or just hopeless?
I must have a misunderstandings of sorts.
These fundraisers are in the “final” stage of money grabbing for the Valley Org, yet if the photos of it on this blog are to be believed it is an empty dusty building surrounded by weeds.
So some OT VIII Class -0 (minus) hands over $1,000,000 and he never actually goes to the site of this Org to see how things are proceeding?
If he does not look to see where his money is going he is insane.
It must be that Scientology today is nothing to do with the works of LRH and proceeding up a bridge, it is “something” to get into, some sort of fashion statement of sorts.
Not the Org I remember at all.
Hi James Hollingsworth, I learn something every day here.Thank you.Ann.
There is a sure way to get off CO$ mailing lists: Find the postage-paid Business-Return-Envelope, put a note inside with your name and and address and the message “take me off your lists!”, then TAPE THE ENVELOPE TO A BRICK, and go to the Post Office and mail it. The contract with the Post Office requires the recipient to pay for the envelope; it they refuse, the Post Office won’t honor the contract, and deliveries stop immediately. A brick will cost the CO$ about $30 these days. Works like a charm!! The Post Office is familiar with this tactic. When I’ve dropped off bricks, they don’t put them in the regular mail bag, they show them to other postal employees for a good laugh, THEN mail them. I get a laugh from their reaction too, so it’s all good.
james hollingsworth, forgive this stupid question but is it necessary to WRAP the brick in brown paper or something first before taping the free cult postage to it?
Dear Aquamarine, That’s a good question. I never have wrapped them in paper, just used clear plastic tape so it was obvious that it was a (red) brick. I have heard of people wrapping them in brown or white paper, but then the Post Office might not know what was being done to the Co$. I WANT the Postal employees to know what is going on. The Good Word is spread in many ways. The last one I did, they laughed and smiled, saving the brick to show to other Postal people.
WOW ! Methnks no one has yet spotted what gave me a chuckle right off the bat.
They are going to promote an actual “V” pin. For christs sake that is the title of a movie: V IS FOR VENDETTA. The Guy Fawkes mask became famous in the movie ; AND the mask was taken up by anons when they went after the COS.
You guys need to work on your obnosis drill.
Hi MM,You are the only poster who can make me laugh in reference to a Morgue! Thank you,I would love to see a Borg turn blue & also the shades of green I turned,locked in there all night with no water & that lovely dusty musty ash-chemical perfume!Ann.
There once was a mad dog named Davey
Who frothed like a canine with rabies
Wielding his power with tech golden showers
He piddled his tool like a baby
Hey! C’mon, push-leez sumbudy!
E-mail this last to FFT tyrant. It’ll make his day!
And I wanna watch!
O please o please o please…!
dm@themoneyisallmine.com
Michael Mallen, is that you?
I’m actually an OSA staff member. On my smoke break, I went to the nearby library and got on their computer; I wanted to relieve some of the suppressed anger i felt from having my face ripped by you know who when he was doing an inspection of my area. Since I haven’t had any auditing in the last 30 years, I think I’m safe with my little secret. Feels good! Whatever happened to spirit of play, right? You guys have all the fun!!!
Hi MM, Good & very pleased to meet you.Well we can always use wonderful spirits to have fun together with.You seem life a most accomplished one.Thank you for your post! Ann.
Thanks Ann.
Yeah, I miss Michael Mallen. I still sing his version of “Happy Talk”. Luckily for others, I sing to myself.
MM, that little poetic ditty sounds like your writing style. Is this “MJ” or “Michael Mallen”? If so, welcome back; we have missed you.
For Wendy M.
You’ve got to have a morgue
If you don’t have a morgue
How you gonna have a borg turn blue?
Hey Michael! Damnit! I told you that you were missed! Good to have you back! Now…stay here!
LOL! Thanks for that MM/MJ/ Michael! I also can hear the instrumental at the end of each chorus “Plink. Plink.” “Plink. Plink” 🙂
Valley has some of the greatest armchair quarterbacks that I know. And, of course, that’s what you need
when you are an armchair quarterback–status and a pin or a trophy or your picture with the caption great
humanitarian. It’s for talking a great game, but not actually playing the game. And its great that they come
back! Because that means we’ll have more armchair quarterbacking in the future. My only beef is that they’ll be coming back a lot dumber than they are now. Which is kind of scary.
For me, the most disturbing line in that email was the one that read
501(c)(3)
A V legend–my gosh, how low can they go?
Sacramento Ideal Org update.
Empty
They have paper covering the front windows.
What does that mean?
It means they’ve run out of wall space for all their straight-up-and-vertical dimesionless line charts, and have had to resort posting them on the insides of the windows. In short, it’s always good news, and the best indicator of that is that criminals like you are squealing. LRH said so.
This is true!
Nice, hgc10! Sucks being on staff at this point in time.
I’ve noticed that at many of their buildings, dan. Especially in Hollywood. All the windows are papered over. Maybe it’s because DAVID “LET HIM DIE” MISCAVIGE doesn’t want his slaves to see happy people going about their business. Either that or their tone level is “Hiding.”
Or, regarding the Sacramento Model Ideal Idle Morgue, they don’t want wogs to see all happy people in this Idle Morgue having wins that are beyond belief! Cognitions coming fast and furious. Maybe that’s it…nah. Who am I kidding. The windows are papered over so wogs won’t be able to see the place is completely empty. As well as seeing staff with frowns on their faces. That sounds more reasonable….
So…how much does this one cost?
What’s your status? It’ll cost just enough to bump it up!
Remember: it could be really, really real or it could be really, really fake, but it’s really, really good!
I can picture this in someone’s desperate future: the pawnbroker won’t accept the pin–it’s pretty and all, but made cheap. To make his point, he reaches below the counter and pulls out a huge bowl of pins. Hundreds of them. And he’ll let them go for five bucks…
the V pins are made in China , are plastic
cost a couple bucks a hundred,10,000 minimum order.
Wow,its almost a ” Victimatorius” pin!
Happy anniversary to me! I don’t remember what specific day it was but I know it was in the month of July two years ago that I discovered Ortega’s blog via L. Remini’s departure and this then led me to Marty’s and then Mike’s blog. In hindsight it’s amazing that I would have continued reading because as you all know here, we were well indoctrinated into not reading any “entheta” about Scientology for all those years (me since 1974) but I couldn’t break away. One of the first things that captured my attention was watching Marty and Mike talking and fishing on the dock. Normally I would have stopped and thought, “look at these 2 SP’s” and not continue but I couldn’t, because they were answering some questions and/or suspicions I had for many years. And so began my journey for months of reading and becoming horrified. Needless to say the truth became a hard pill to swallow, admitting that you have wasted all those years and all that money and for what? I also led my sibling to read and confront the truth. This I had to be very slow and careful with because of all the money she donated to the IAS and didn’t want her to have a stroke. You see she’s not a “whale” or wealthy but instead put herself in debt to donate having bought all that crap. We are both lucky that neither of us would ever disconnect from each other for a church due to our very strong family bond. I spent many years wishing that my whole family were Scientologist’s like other families, wow am I lucky that never happened. My heart truly breaks for all you here that are disconnected from your families, don’t give up, this must and will change one day.
Thank you Tony O. for being a great reporter, thanks Marty and Mike for reeling me in that day and please continue fighting the good fight. I also love all the bloggers here even the ones I disagree with so I want to thank you all for: knowing what you’re talking about because you are trained and/or OT; speaking out because you suffered in the SO and/or on staff; asking great questions because you’re a “never in”; coming up with names for that little pip squeak; sarcasm; bluntness; antagonism; irreverence; being hilarious, interesting and just plain fun.
Thanks Mike for this blog.
P.S. – Side note – I chose UTR name Ms. P for Ms. Poirot. Poirot being my favorite sleuth cause I felt like a sleuth doing all that research all those months.
Loved your post Mrs. Poirot. And congratulations for having the courage to look and look some more and to act on what you found. You deserve a medal. And yes, Mike, you are wonderful the great job you do on this blog and Regraded Being too!
Hi Mrs P,Thank you for having your courage & strength to break away,I too love your posts.Mike, Tony, Marty & so many more,help us on their blogs everyday.I feel just by being themselves with incredible fight & intention to fix& stop once and for all the cos at all levels.I laugh & enjoy Poirot greatly.Ann.
Happy anniversary, Mrs P
Wishing you a very Happy Anniversary, Ms. P! Ain’t it great to get back all of your freedom again?!
Happy Anniversary Ms P!
Happy anniversary, Ms. P. I loved hearing your story, I’ll bet you have a lot of them and I hope you’ll be generous about telling them.
Hi Ms P,I’ll get these names correct one of these days…Ann.
Cindy, Ann, OSD, Pepper and Roger – got to say LOVE all your posts, look for them daily. You all have something of significance to say. And yes Roger I have many tales to tell but I am to enthralled with the experiences of others at this time. Little by little the onion is peeled.
Ms. P, we’re all looking forward to your stories!
The dolphins are jumping??? “Hello, 911? I want to report hundreds of surfing scientologists are being eaten by SHARKS oh please hurry it’s a sight I’m tellin’ ya a REAL SIGHT!”
I unsubscribe every email I get from them and the IAS but they just keep on coming.
I would think a unsubscribe to their email would be my answer to their communication.
I guess Hubbard’s communication cycle does not apply to those who are fighting tirelessly to
clear the planet and make a safe and sane world. Silly me to think if one is trying to do such grand
things they themselves should be clear, sane and able to create a safe environment for their members.
So much disassociation in that email. They don’t even know where they are geographically.
Someone is feeling the screws.
Heroettes instead of Heroines??? And Heroes spelled Heros??? Really???
Hey cult members! Ever hear of a thing called ‘spell check?’ It’s really cool. When you misspell a word, a little red line will appear under the word. All you have to do is right click to get the correct spelling. But that probably creates Dev-T for you. So you might as well continue in your idiotic ways…
SSSSSSSSh… That’s where I get my entertainment OSD..
My bad, babybunker!
Maybe they really did mean to say hi to submarine sandwiches?
Hi Gtsix, Living in different states gave me the chance to try all kinds of sandwiches.Home grown tomatoes are really good on them all.Sorry Ron I did not talk with them.Ann.
Catch a wave and you’re sitting on top of the world baby!
Just don’t ask them to try to spell “Heroes and Villains”.
That’s my mantra, Potpie!
Sail on sailor.
We’ve got a Beach Boys vibe going on here. I love it!!!
Hi Mike,Plus the dolphins are jumping in the opposite direction they do not want to mess with these OTs on surf boards.Where is OSD when we need him? Ann.
I’m right here!
And what’s this about being on their surfboards ridding the crest of the ‘big waves’ all in perfect formation with dolphins jumping out of the water? WTF are they talking about? The nearest beach is probably 40 miles or more away. Surfers do not surf in “perfect formation!” Get a freakin’ clue!
There used to be a surf shop in the Valley called Val’s surf shop (Val being short for Valley). I remember surfing at country line (L.A. county/Venture county). When we arrived, it was PACKED with surfers. I wanted to leave but one of my friends said, “Hey these are vals, they don’t ever take off.” And sure as shit, we paddled out and caught wave after wave because the Vals would never take off.
Wait a minute now, there’s a connection here, I just know it! Vals not taking off is metaphor for the Valley Model Ideal Idle Morgue not taking off! Wow, I just blew my own mind! I’m done working. I’m going to paddle out and catch some awesome waves. BTW, at my surf spot at Bolsa Chica State Beach, we do, in fact, have a pod of dolphins that come by quite regularly. We know them and they know us. They’ll even body surf the waves we’re on.
Well, that clears that up!
I figured you would be the one to set the record straight on the surfing issues OSD! Nice work.
BTW, ever seen any whales out there? Rumor has it there are only a few left in the Valley and even they are having a rough time.
Hi OSD,Your pod of dolphins sounds beautiful, and am I glad you have these OT where is my board riders under your control! Ann.
BTW, OSD Val’s Surf shop still exists!
Yep, Val’s Surf Shop has been around since the late 60s early 70s. But…these folks are inlanders. They don’t even get a sea breeze where they live, let alone any waves. A real surfer lives where he surfs. When I was living in Hawai’i, I lived in the heart of Waikiki. My favorite surf spot was just 2 blocks away. You want to be close to the thing you love…
Glad to be of service, Coop! I’m afraid, though, that most of the ‘whales’ in the Valley have beached themselves. They really got tired of being regged by the sharks…
Hi Mike,Love this newest hook! Just when all seems lost at Sea,out cos comes with the Legend Valley or is that Victory over your $ pin! I was wondering when Legend would be pulled from the ashes & passed around again,as in Become the Legend Join the SO,or Become the Legend do the SHSBC or the classic for me Be a Legend,Go to Ethics! The OT Com. Needs my upcoming cataract surgery to be hopeless romantics,sorry y’all you are just hopeless now,but hey keep that pin & give all your $ now.Always Ann.
Yahaaa right. The place is a dump !!!! an empty dump at that !!!
There is no little plastic goodie pin ( made in China) PR possible
to reverse this decaying hulk from total ruin.
*Get David Miscavige to resign
* Cancel everything prefaced with “Golden Age of”
* Sell all buildings in the Ideal Org program
* cancel the IAS
*scrap the Freewinds
That would be a good start.
START !
I fully agree on that!
Moving the goal line yet again, creating more hoops to jump through, Scientology is an aerobic sport!
As far as I could tell, all the Infinity jackets were shooped by gluing heads on stock jacket model pictures, and adding the Infinity logos.
I wonder how they react if they ever saw a real one?
Hi Fairylight,A correction.I meant KoolAid & the lovely spell check spit out Troll Aid I won’t aid them but I will give out lots of KoolAid to one & all!Ann.
A. How many metaphors can you mix in one email without sending one to their knees?
B. How many sec shocks does hitting the unsubscribe link qualify you for?
I’ve unsubscribed from all the scn email address books without recrimination – I’m an UTR.
The reason is that the orgs are so understaffed, they have no one to monitor this. Even if there was an odd bod one day that “they” could spare, he or she is so untrained, they wouldn’t know how.
Hi Fairylight,Good to meet you.I like your name & your post.I never got on any other sci emailing lists,you are smart.I have The Rats that love to play block U Ann games with me & they love KollAid,vats of it !.Ann.
I like the ‘unsubscribe me from this list’ link at the bottom of the email. I don’t recall seeing anything like that before from the cult. Clicking that should provide for some interesting follow-up from their friendly ethics officer.
In reality, no one can ‘unsubscribe’ from scientology. Central Files exists in perpetuity. Just think of the forest product resources that would be saved if people could get off of the multiple/duplicate mailing lists the cult maintains. They try to maintain the lists anyway even though there is a constant call for volunteers to help organize Central Files.
The unsubscribe option has always been there in the emails I receive. I do know someone who did click on that and got a call from someone not identifying themselves as any particular post, asking “why …?” Doesn’t much matter what your answer is, you’re staying on that list.
So true that they do not permit you to unsubscribe. The “F.L.B. Justice Chief” at Flag recently sent out an S.P. declare to someone who had not been on lines for 36 years! This is a justice chief that can’t even think with the admin scale, as in policy is senior to purpose, and works blindly to enforce policy on someone who hasn’t had the purpose to be in Scientology for 36 years! This is the “Justice Chief” of the Flag Land Base YIKES!
http://tonyortega.org/2015/07/11/the-story-of-brian-sheen-and-his-disconnected-scientology-daughter-you-havent-heard/#more-24115
How ethical right? Now the resulting damage and ill repute created for Scientology by the “Justice Chief”:
http://www.wptv.com/news/region-s-palm-beach-county/boynton-beach/father-files-civil-rights-complaint-against-church-of-scientology-say-he-cant-speak-to-daughter
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/local/boynton-beach-man-claims-scientology-keeping-him-f/nmwwy/
http://www.fox23.com/news/news/national/florida-man-claims-scientology-keeping-him-f/nmw6w/
This guy hit the unsubscribe button 36 years ago! Gets instructions to do A to E! An S.P. Declare!
The Flag Land Base Justice Chief makes decisions for the greatest good? Now there is a civil rights suit against the Church!
The staff are following in Miscavige’s foot steps!
That’s just a CYA addition for legal compliance with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003. (“Suppression lists”, heh!)
Correct Rick. And the stupidest part? Emails sent by entities such as themselves are exempt from that Act and they don’t even know it.
Exactly, but as John Locke points out – they are exempt from the CAN-SPAM because of the “religious” nature of their content, and, as they are emailing their own “membership” lists that could also exempt them from CAN-SPAM act (though never removing anyone from a membership list would put them in violation of this section – which is still covered by the religious exemption anyway).
Most of the promo emails do have the unsubscribe option. I found that after 20-30 attempts the frequency will diminish for 2-3 weeks then will pick up again. The best way to get off most mailing lists is to contact your old scientology friends and recommend they watch the Going Clear documentary or they read Mike’s blog. The resulting KRs will get you taken off most (not all) mailing lists. I no longer get electronic mail from the church but they still like to stuff my mailbox with the glossy magazines. Those I prefer to keep as they are a constant stream of inspiration for some of my own creations. It is almost impossible to parody some of the stuff the IASPuts out. It’s like trying to make fun of a clown. How do you ridicule the rediculous?
ridiculous. Have any of you noticed that a lot of words spell differently on the small hand held devices. Could that be what is happening with some of the church promos?
I unsubscribed from the ridiculous “Plymouth Pirates” super spam list in 2010 and was swiftly emailed by Mark Goddard that I had been removed from the most important mailing list in the UK. Shit!!
He did, however, promise to add me back on if I ever felt “out of the loop on how (my) eternity is shaping up.” Aww.
Best way to get off every promo list in $ciendom is to proudly post to Mike’s blog using your real name. Boom! Done.
Regraded Being, I’m glad that you are keeping the glossy material for inspiration. I always get a good belly laugh every Friday, although sometimes it is just all too real and it feels like a kick in the gut at first. Keep up the good work.
I too used to get shit-tons of mail from the cult. This after being away for a quarter century. They finally found me again and the mailings and phone calls started up in earnest. At first I was PISSED. All I wanted was to be left alone and be removed from their mailing/phone lists. One has to be careful what they wish for. Now I only get a few mailings from FSO and the dozen or so other orgs have apparently dropped me like an ‘entheta potata’. The way I pulled this off was to take advantage of the free Business Reply envelopes that they thoughtfully include with some of their promo. I use these to send kind messages to the mailing dept. with sincere questions like:
Where’s Shelly?
Where’s Heber?
Where’s Guillueme?
Where’s the research?
Where’s your passport?
What are things like now compared to what was promised when you joined?
How’s the food?
How are your living conditions?
I also provide some helpful links to Mike’s blog, The Underground Bunker, Chris Shelton, etc.
It doesn’t hurt to include my favorite Hubbard quote too, LOOK, DON’T LISTEN.
Sadly, because my ‘postulates’ stuck, I only get to do these mailings a couple of times a year now. Coincidently, I received ‘Source Magazine’ today and they were kind enough to include one of these free Business Reply cards so I can send messages to the mailing dept. It will be in the mail shortly. I encourage others to do the same. Use your imagination and have some fun. The possibilities are limitless and hopefully someone will be able to find the exit as a result.
“Mark Goddard…did, however promise to add me back on (his mailing list) if I ever felt ‘out of the loop on how my eternity was shaping up”.
mwestern, how comforting to be reassured that an adjunct benefit of being on the cult’s mailing lists is to be in David Miscavige’s “loop” as he monitors the vicissitudes of all of our individual eternities!
Yes, as an investor would read the Wall Street Journal, so would a thetan heavily invested in the hereafter want to be continuously briefed on how his eternity is performing…
Except that immortal beings can’t do anything BUT survive. But thanks anyway, Mark. Its the thought that counts.
Scientology is well on its way to becoming a caricature of itself.
And yes, heros is not the plural of hero. Heros is the plural for hero sandwiches, though! Thank goodness for Study Tech!
Hi FOTF2012, You are talking my language! A bite of one of your heros,po boys in my slice of the Deep South,would be yummy compared to a bite of actual SO heroes.Might get a lot more than I bargained for!Ann.
When I hit the unsubscribe link it prompted my email back to Phoenix Org. Interesting thing is the date stamp was changed to Dec 1969 and a little picture of Jurgen Brock (FBO) came up. I’m not so computer oriented, so asked my neighbor what was up with that. He suggested Scientology has it’s own server or something. Hmm.