by Mike Rinder
Here is today’s example of Corporate Scientology blood sucking.
Dear ******,
I just received the following announcement from the Bookstore Officer AOSH UK and wanted to help back this up:
“This year the Olympic Games are going to be held in London, England – starting 27th July, ending on 12th August. There will be an estimated 6.5 million people in attendance from over 200 nations.
“In 2010, at the Football World Cup in South Africa, copies of the Way to Happiness booklet were distributed throughout the crowds resulting in it being proclaimed as the least violent World Cup ever.
“To achieve the same effects in London, introducing L. Ron Hubbard’s Tech to millions and creating calm, donations are needed for bundles of The Way to Happiness, which in turn will be handed out during the Olympics.”
“All you have to do is keep that booklet flowing in the society. Like gentle oil spread upon the raging sea, the calm will flow outward and outward.” – LRH, from Ron’s Journal 33
As I am sure you will agree, this has massive potential to reach a truly international audience!
Staff and public volunteers are being mobilized right now and will be in prominent locations around the Olympic events passing out The Way to Happiness to everyone!
The target is to distribute a minimum of 2 million copies!
To help back this up, we are sending over a shipment of TWTH bundles from Bridge this next Monday and I wanted to give you the opportunity to contribute to this motion as well.
Each bundle contains 12 booklets. Please see below to select the size of your donation:
Make a donation of $100 (5 bundles) <<
Make a donation of $250 (13 bundles) <<
Make a donation of $500 (27 bundles) <<
Make a donation of $1,000 (55 bundles) <<
The Olympic events start in just 7 days so we want to have this arrive before then!
Note: Your donations are fully tax-deductible and a commendation will be issued to anyone who contributes!
Also, when you make the donation on-line, we will give you access to download the Way to Happiness eBook!
Thanks very much in advance for your assistance!
(For more information on the 2012 Olympics go to www.london2012.com)
Sincerely,
Patrick Howson
Mail Order Manager
Bridge Publications
(323) 899-1034
Now, let’s analyse just what is so wrong with this latest begging email.
First, if this were a true “humanitarian effort” to help the people of the world, one would imagine that the RCS would be making every effort to get as many of these booklets into people’s hands as possible. Their objective of course would not be making a profit.
Now, I know in the context of the RCS this is utterly ridiculous, but if you believe in this so much, and believe it made a safe World Cup, why not spend a few of the billions ALREADY collected by the IAS for exactly this sort of thing? Even assuming the ridiculous cost of $1.67 per booklet (more on that later) it would still only be $2 million which is less than 0.2% of the accumulated cash of the IAS (assuming they only have $1 billion which is a LOW estimate).
Dave, you should declare me SP for that one suppressive idea alone!
But, here is where the rubber really meets the road. They want you to pay $1.67 per booklet! Oh come on Dave, you have shown us the massive, state of the art printing facilities that can turn out millions of items in the most cost effective manner possible. You told us this Dave. But your guys are trying to sell these booklets, that couldn’t cost more than 20 cents to print on your sooper dooper, whizbang, state of the 20th century communications equipment for a dollar a piece? That doesn’t seem right?
Now, it’s funny, but partly what prompted me to write this is that right after I got the email there was a knock on my door. The Jehovah’s Witnesses handed me TWO four color booklets (The Watchtower and Awake!) and they didn’t ask for a penny? Yet the cost of printing their booklets is more than a WTH booklet? I guess they haven’t realized that giving stuff away isn’t a good business model if your objective is to make money. But then I looked on the internet (OMG, addendum to my declare for daring to look at the internet). The JW’s claim 7.5 million adherents not counting those “inactive” – and that is anyone who has not turned in their monthly report of their public ministry actions for 6 months. So, they have 7.5 million people that write reports on their activities EVERY MONTH! They also have 109,000 places of worship and there are 3 within 5 miles of where I live (there are NO Scientology activities in that range here in the “largest Scientology community on earth”). Dave, maybe they aren’t as dumb as you think? And they even shun people and don’t do blood transfusions and everyone thinks they are nuts too. Maybe they are actually trying to disseminate instead of making money? Or maybe they are sincerely trying to help people? OMG — add another page to my declare….
Now, one might well ask: “Isn’t this sort of thing THE JOB of the IAS?” Believe me, at the IAS event in the UK in October they will promote the “enormous distribution” of the WTH at the London Olympics (making this the safest/calmest/most successful Olympics ever, ever in all of history). So, does anyone want to take bets on whether the IAS is ALSO begging for bucks to “fund the most massive campaign in this history of the universe….” I just haven’t been to one of their crush reg events for a while so I don’t know what their latest scam is.
Now, to add just a couple of final nitpicks.
Why offer “discounts” for bulk purchases if these are intended to be given away on the streets? Why not just a flat price (and I guess it proves that there is in fact a profit being made as they all cost the same to print….)
The distribution of WTH outside the US is the job of New Era Publications and their sooper dooper, 20th century printing machines. Not Bridge. Shipping booklets from the US to London rather than Copenhagen to London sort of sounds like the old adage “don’t ship coals to Newcastle.” But you know, you gotta try to make a buck any chance you get. (Even if its 7 days before an event that has been announced for 10 years — so they will send them using the most expensive means possible in order to get them there in time)….
And even funnier, the campaign is being “spearheaded” by AOSHUK. They are supposed to be delivering higher level training and auditing. Dave, you spent $10 million plus to open the “new” “central Ideal Org” on that deserted street in London. It is supposed to be the central point for the dissemination of all tech into society. The Olympics are occurring right down the road from the empty palace on Queen Victoria St. So why is AOSHUK doing this?
Things seems a little confused in Miscavigedom. But I am sure you will set it straight soon – believe me, when you discover this sort of thing has been going on, you can use it to announce another brilliant evaluation and handling: “The crooks were leading the suckers” and springboard into the “Golden Age of Registration” to put an end to all criminality. Everyone will be required to put their credit card information into the central computer and it will automatically be debited whenever funds are needed for a new campaign. No humans will be required. And the ideal scene of the Ideal Morgues will be another step closer to being made a reality.
Just one final thought Dave. Why not start selling indulgences? You could tie it right in to the central computer system. As long as you keep on paying, you have “ethics protection.” Why bother having any auditors at all. You don’t need to even do 6 months checks any more — just debit their cards for a couple of intensives of sec checking at Class 9 rates and send a note to the MAA that they are “OK to carry on.” It would save a LOT of time and effort and people paying for airfares and stuff and you could suck all of that wasted money in too. And you would no longer need auditing rooms and you could rent them out as the latest, state-of-the-art “mini storage” facilities.
OK, add a few more pages to the addendum.
I wish the sarcasm wasn’t so close to the truth.
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