It’s IAS Event week
So the overhype is spectacular in it’s epicness. I have spared you all the trash they sent out this past week. Monumental in volume. Miniscule in content.
They keep coming up with these silly phrases — Shaping a renaissance for freedom… It’s Huge!
History is made…
Bubbles chimes in with some less than convincing hype.
The Freedom Metal winners…
Beyond your imagination – perhaps the only true statement.
Actually, it’s an epic rehash…
The opening of Harlem and the AO in Australia. Woopee.
But don’t miss the composor who will blow your mind.
Conquer Life
You would think if any one of these people could actually do this you would not need 7 of them. Just one life conquerer would be enough to deal with the 5 attendees at the seminar. And certainly the head of the OT VIII organization wouldn’t need 5 bloodsucking FSMs “help”?
Another Epic Announcement
In the AOLA Atrium…. Hahahaha that is really amusing.
Surprise, surprise…
Another one-time-only leatherbound. It’s epically milestone.
Root beer and toy guns
Sounds really cool. For 7 year olds.
Dream Team
But there are only 4 of them? This is 63X expansion on display?
It’s a precision science…
Wow, thought they were supposed to tell people it’s a religion?
But anyway, what the hell does it mean to live at a higher level of precision? Does he walk in exact 39 inch steps? Count the number of hairs on each side of his part?
An Epic Dissemination Seminar
Conducted by Skype?
Steely eyed determination
Channeling Dear Leader?
For just $10
You can learn how to think big and do it. Just like the guy putting on this seminar for $10 in a backwater doctor’s office.
WISE Seminar
At a scientology org? Secular much?
But bet it’s a big hit because you need to be “bonded” to attend. Quentin Strub is going to reveal the confidential secrets to the universe.
Really religious
This one, conducted by Effective Management Association, is also in the org.
Very tricky
Respond with an [X] to one of the below. Bet that fools most of the recipients.
Good news though — you can now get a FREE t-shirt if you arrive in November! Wow. What a giveaway.
Mighty My Mammy Technical Team
All 6 of them. Not so mighty.
The Blues Brothers
Ideal Org event? Who are they raising money for? All the orgs in the area are already ideal or done fundraising (so they said). 
They have plenty left to get money for
Looks like it will be at gunpoint…
More IAS BS
Any details would be nice. But it would spoil the fun.
The reason you stopped communicating?
HCO ordered you to disconnect perhaps?
Double SH Size Model Ideal Org
And in that case, this really sucks. 6 per month? Less than 2 per week? And they are shouting this from the rooftops?
Hot, probably. Dusty, definitely. Smoking Hot, not a chance.
Love that informative graph!!
Living of a beautiful life…
Getting your money makes my life beautiful.
Valley hype went into hypserspace
It’s been religious…
Just 17,000 left!
We did it!
The Valley Princess dropped a check to put everyone out of their misery (at least until the next “urgent briefing” event for the Valley is announced).
Love that quote they selected. Written in response to the Portland verdict being overturned… As they say inside the bubble apparently “if it’s an LRH quote it doesn’t matter if it is in context, it doesn’t matter if it makes sense, it doesn’t matter if it is out of date – hell, we don’t even read them usually.”
The layoutt and tone of the promo reminds me of those adult chat sites from 10 years ago.
Re-runs of Harlem opening (finally, after 9 years). Wow, just wow.
Thank you, God. Thank you thank you thank you…
CO Wise EUS is being trotted out again to impart some vital data about how everyone can flourish and prosper by going into debt to feed Co$’s insatiable maw. I guess WISE doesn’t keep him busy enough. God, I’m glad I’m outta there!
“It just keeps getting bigger.”
Presumably this refers to Ms. Champagne’s nose as she continues with her cult expansion BS.
Enjoying your stellar snark, Mike!
I love the 007 ad — the white part of the tux reminds me of Mad magazine Spy vs. Spy: http://cluny91.deviantart.com/art/Spy-vs-Spy-Breakfast-drink-411930830
Isn’t there some sort of ownership of the 007 logo being violated here? You betchum!
The more I read and see about Miscavige the more convinced I am that he’s hiding in the closet. His behaviour around Tom is nothing short of unrequited love.
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“History is made…” What a gag inducing load of ipecac.
Anyone else notice that all podiums used are Dwarfenfuhrer size?
If you light the light blue satin ribbon bookmark that comes with the super!, exclusive!, marvelous! leather Dianutics will the book explode?
I think what Florian means is that they are now reduced to cannibalising the sheepbots that remain for what little money they have left.
BIG THINK? I, ah, er, jeez!
Quentin Strub: For $camology, by $camology and about $camology. Reality outside the shrinking bubble need not apply.
WWOOWW!! A free $1.00 (if that)t-shirt that will only require a small donation no doubt.
Is it my imagination or does Lili Gonzales look like a plastic doll?
Gault and Silber: Refer to first comment.
CF – a blue line in a box marked CF. Snort!
The only outflow I could think from the Valley was a burst sewer pipe of verbal excrement.
I must say Mr. Jason Blue looks like he slept walked from my favorite piece of promo Artist On The Whole Track into Zombie Apocalypse Hour with the Sea Org.What Iron Resolve with no soul whatsoever from those cold eyes.And Bubbles,I had to re-read her postulate that tears would cascade down the cheeks of all who heed her call.I’m shocked thoseOTs can sure write good! Lol.?
So Rick Alexander of the Freewinds has gotten 26 of his relatives onto services. Wow. There may be hope for Scientology yet.
Regarding “Hot, probably. Dusty, definitely. Smoking Hot, not a chance.” – seems the one cool drink they missed was “Cool Aid”. Wonder why…
and i really wanted one of those groovy t-shirt ! i think they will become a fashion must have. maybe i can get one from designer rebecca minkoff, the daughter of the dr. who tried to hide everything that happened to Lisa M.
CLO Canada huh? And where the #$%@ is that?! They seem to be wandering out in the wilderness of Ontario somewhere. I doubt they’re at the AOSH Canada dump. They might be propping up the Cambridge Org. And yet there’s a Toronto phone number, so maybe it’s in the tiny “temporary” place above Starbucks on College St.
Re the Valley “people we never expected to donate have donated”. I suppose it is easy to get the ‘unexpected’ to donate, once you have their children in Sea bOrg hostage.
Soon the Valley will hit that last 17k and then we’ll see what new fundraising campaign starts. There is always a new one.
And Scotland, taking commission on IAS donations? What’s the matter, is Hapless Leaders bar tab due?
“Never expected to donate?”Isn’t that counter to the “intention” one supposedly has to project so others will obey?
They don’t really say what got done – just how much money. Now that they’ve collected, there will be fundraisers to get the money needed for the “Construction Estimate,” the drawings, the renderings, the doorknobs, and the toilet paper. This shit never ends.
I could just say it’s dumb but that would be easy. And as to the three steps to prosperity I could reduce it to just one.
That’s right Kaye…you are playing on the World Stage and it’s a tragedy and you’re part of the cast. Congratulations!
“We are playing on the World sage as never before.”
INDEED, that is all too true! LOL!
Maybe that is the sword of Damocles hanging above the scam’s head?
It really is astounding how “the best ever” can keep being promoted, as if there wasn’t a previous “best ever”. Those poor people who are actually receiving these. Note to lurkers: once you’re declared, you don’t get this stuff in the mail anymore, and it’s a YUGE relief.
Careful with that. Mike Rinder will make fun of you for misspelling “YUGE!” 😉
That IS the correct spelling, Thomas Weeks. And, listen, we mustn’t make fun of the man who wants to Make America Grope Again.
It looks like 2016 might be the best ever year for the world waking up about scamontology.
And hopefully Bubba gets to finally meet his BFF.
No bout a doubt it!!!
Am I declared!? I don’t get anything in the mail , ever. But then I actually wrote “will not accept” and put them right back in the mailbox. I assumed once they had to pay return postage they would stop, Anyway they stopped and Robin you are correct, It is Yuge.
Maybe it’s just me, but Clearwater looks especially deserted of cars this week.. strange because everyone loves the IAS…I thought I would see epic traffic jams…
No, Robert. Epic traffic jams are in Orlando. Monumental traffic jams are in Clearwater.
And that is because as we know, Scientology is the only game where everyone wins.
Even body thetans win!
I think IAS should offer a seminar on how to quickly identify those people that seem interested in you to realize their only goal is to separate you from your hard earned money (all of it). :<)