Unfortunately, I have been out of town most of the week and as a result the Thursday Funnies are thin this week. Nevertheless, some tidbits to keep things interesting and everyone amused.
For the first time…
How strange is that when she just got the Freedom Medal 2 weeks ago? Why would she have ever been in Denver before? But they’ve got her out fundraising lickety-split.
Amazing this woman restored the “pride of her nation”. That is quite an astonishing accomplishment (and of course complete bs)
She’s touring the WUS to make commissions
It’s in his sights?
Must be looking through the Hubble telescope. Even with that, he is seeing a mirage that isn’t really there.
Oh ho, here’s trouble
They got another of the new IAS Medal winners also on the rubber chicken (rubber check?) circuit.
Teamed up with the oldest vultures of the IAS. And they are going to create a drug free LA! Haha. Not holding my breath.
It’s CHEAP
And we will give you a t-shirt. Pleeeeez can you come?
Another Anniversary
Nobody even remembers this place exists. Drove past it last week. Nobody home.
An OT Panel
Bet these super powerful individuals don’t command more than 10 people to hear their pitch….
Everyone wins
Really? Love to hear how much the staff are paid.
Looks like a winner
Dispersed all over the place with arrows going everywhere…. Huh?
A poor staff member…
Just got a bit poorer.
Handling Planetary Suppression?
PLANS to change future generations. Always something in the future.
Wonder what she is going to do about the internet — the biggest “suppression” scientology has ever faced.
You know of course this is a recruitment event. The HCO Cope Officer does nothing else…
Eddie Frencher reappears
Last seen as the ex-boyfriend of Isabella Cruise. Now he is the pitch man for joining staff. The implication is he got to Clear as a staff member. Don’t think so. He might be the only paying public in the Pasadena HGC.
Kiddie Korner
Still on a roll recruiting kids. Ron Weasley, is that you?
Taking LA by storm
Not so much. Nobody even notices they are there these days.
Done Sir!
We have raised $20 million for your stat – nearly half of from Bart Simpson.
We brought in a Mission Holder to run the event (?) and featured Tom Cummins from Clearwater – a status whore if ever there was one.
And check this out. There are THREE, yes count them that IS 3, under construction. The other 100 are still working on collecting their money. BTW what happened to Silicon Valley?
Bet the VFW would just love this
Seriously? Using Remembrance Day as a reg event?
The greatest job in the world…
…only those who like to work for free need apply.
Flag staff fraternizing with the public?
How do they get away with this violation of the rules? Oh yeah, it’s a reg event…. Nobody would show up if it was held at the org.
Funniest item of the week
The ideal chocolate story goes on. Rocking some pretty ideal poetry now….
Thank God LRH is ensuring America “delivers the goods”
They really think this is appropriate?
Buy Now – Get Your Eternity Before It’s Expiration Date
Only 60 days left to secure your eternity. 
the dispersing arrows ad for the Admin Scale…
Could it be trying to “cave in” the mark by “restimulating” feelings of confusion?
A step up from inventing the ills for which they’re selling the alleged cure, but still mean.
Maria who?
Why don’t they have [ ] Send me the free t-shirt I need a rag to clean up the cat poo on the floor.
Another low for $camology using Remembrance Day as a money gouging exercise.
Ideal World of Chocolate, I, uh, er…brain hurts.
This might not be a thursday funny but I started watching the tv series The Path today and is it just me or is the cult in that show not so loosely based on Scientology?
Loved that show! Did some research and it’s based off a cult that the show creator marred up. Because Scientology is a true cult in all senses of the word, it fits so well in what she created. But no its not just supposed to be Scn. She did a great job tho. Cant wait for season 2
Well it’s just after 10:30am Friday here which means it’s after 2:00pm Thursday in LALA Land – I can plug the phone back in! 😀
Quick observation – does the oval OT symbol remind anyone else of Boba Fett’s helmet? Given that Fett is a bounty hunter I have to laugh every time I see it…
“Secure your Bridge and take advantage of the impact your donations have on your taxes.”
Did they actually print that? Think about that statement for a moment…
That’s the positioning Scientology presents for their false Freedom claims. What a sick fuck of an organisation!
If you have not already done so…….you ALL must read Tony Ortega’s post today. I cannot wait for Leah Remini’s new show at the end of this month. Mike….All of you are truly bad asses!!!!!
I know you’ve got a certain someone throwing an EPIC & MONUMENTAL temper tantrum!!
Hang On!!!! It’s going to be a VERY bumpy ride. ???
Restorer of Colombian national pride, actress Maria Lara, has a VERY modest acting resume with exactly 3 entries on her IMDb profile. A profile which, BTW, has no photo! She’s made seven appearances on a couple Colombian TV series in which she was not a leading player. Since she agrees to be described as an actress, she has to be judged an unsuccessful one. In other words, she is not a “super star” as the church claims. Her last gig appears to have been in 2011!
Maybe she’s been to Flag and has seen it’s not quite the bursting-at-the-seams U.S. scientology mecca it was made out to be. But when she does that U.S. org tour she’s going to see the dirty low-down truth. Let us hope the poor girl hasn’t been told her notoriety as a decorated scientologist will open doors to an American show business career. Oh what a wickedly funny lie that would be and wouldn’t you be willing to bet a good chunk of money that’s what she’s been told?
Most of her Twitter accounts have between 6 and 7 exclamation points.IQ at room temperature but absolutely likable.
“Find out how we as Scientologists view this significant day in our history.” (Referring to Remembrance Day).
That really sux! Always gets me a riled up when those cretins try to position themselves upon the consciousness of a nation’s respect for those that actually do or did something for their country instead of ripping off its citizens. And the damned arrogance of those that claim to make people more self determined but insist on telling others how to be “good” Scientologists and punish them if they don’t tow the lie. A cult is what a cult does, and Scientology is right up with the worst of them.
Come on Davy boy, get your IAS checkbook out and donate for a new wing for a veteran’s rehabilitative hospital or something useful. It’s about time you reversed the flow on donations isn’t it? Show a bit of respect for the air you breathe, it came at a heavy price.
“Remembrance Day is a day for recognition and validation of duty, honor, and service “.
I agree. FOR MILITARY VETERANS! NOT FOR SEA OGRES!
And especially for those who lost their lives!
Dave,
First the McDonald’s ‘own all of the real estate’ business model.
Now the ‘Pay to Play’ political enurement and abuse model.
Next: YOUR indictment.
Either Eddie Frencher’s photo was stretched to make the cert look bigger, or Eddie is a tubbo. Not that it matters. I will not fat shame Eddie, that is Ethics job.
The Fleecwinds needs some musical entertainment. Where is Joy Villa when they need her? All that is missing is a Tony Orlando and Dawn tribute duo. Yes I said duo, do you think both of the ‘Dawn’ back up singers will show up? Have I got a bridge to sell you…
Poor Eddie didn’t last very long in the Sea Org.
Guess rice and beans don’t cut it when you are almost Mr. Bella Cruise.
Now the poor kid is stuck as staff. Wonder if he’ll have to ‘re-up’ every time his contract expires. Just until the Valley is clear.
It might be shorter than usual but it certainly was packed with EPIC fail.
God, does DM see these chocolate event promotions? I’d think he’d spit whiskey over than stupid shit coming out of FLAG. Barbecues and bake sales, ye ha, let’s go free with a full belly.
Delusions of dupes decidedly deepens daily.
Come, come we have chocolate.Saw this one before.Must have worked.Says a lot about the last geriatric still ins.
I like the guy who has his sights on cleared Dallas – with eyes wide shut! Too funny!
Way, WAY too much coffee…
He’s squinting so he can get Dallas in focus.
He’s squinting because he’s old and can’t see what’s in front of him…
I am glad Maria Lara is traveling around to orgs like Denver. She is going to see for herself that these “big bad orgs” are actually small, pathetic and struggling. When I was in the Sea Org and I had the chance to tour orgs in EUS, WUS and Europe I was shocked. I realized the picture being painted in the international events and magazines was a HUGE fabricated lie. She also knows that her own accomplishments with TWTH booklets have been blown way out of proportion so as to deceive others. Don’t be surprised to see if Maria Lara does what so many other Freedom Metal winners have done, walk away.
How bad is her acting ‘career’ going that she can do a $cieno mOrg tour? And does she have to split the commission with Mikey Chan?
Very interesting, Matt. What you’ve shared makes me wonder how many prominent SO staff also know without a shadow of a doubt that all the Int Event blatherings about the epic/straight up and vertical/ unprecedented expansion of Scientology are lies, lies, lies. How many of them know, and yet, actively work to perpetuate the lies? And how do they justify this to themselves.
I really would miss the Thursday Funnies if they weren’t around. Thank you Mike for providing them.
You know, with Leah Remini’s series starting soon which will even FURTHER lower Scientology’s PR (yes, that is still possible when more people are reached) and with the extremely low numbers of public on lines, once again I do have to acknowledge Miscavige’s genius. A high school dropout who really has perfected a certain scam business model that is unique in the religion game. APPARENTLY, despite the OPPOSITE of the asserted expansion, no small amount of money is still rolling in to join the real estate assets (and the true believers just keep guzzling the Kool-Aid). (Nancy’s residuals will keep coming in as long as she is alive of course). *I would assume that SOME day insufficient funds will come in to pay the utilities and the general upkeep of the real estate, but that day is some years in the future I think. Miscavige may indeed retire rich in ten years when the boomer Scios are pretty much dead and gone. But then again … 1991… the Soviet Union was still a country on January first and then …..
It is ending badly Joe but we cannot know for sure just how badly it will really be.
We can see there are fewer and fewer new ‘bodies in the shop’.
We know the old Boomers are leaving and scratching for some sort of retirement prosperity.
We know the number of UTR ‘still ins’ is increasing each day.
Therefore, the pressure for dollars will continue to be concentrated on a shrinking group.
Which will increase the stress on remaining staff and public as the cult implodes feeding on itself.
Joe P, your comment made me recall that reference of LRH’s about criminals, i.e., how some of them can be very bright, brilliant, even, or dumb, or average, etc – that a criminal’s intelligence or lack thereof is not the important issue. What makes him or her a sociopath is PURPOSE. And a criminal is not necessarily a sociopath although a sociopath is always a criminal. One can only imagine what good Miscavige'[s intelligence or brilliance could have accomplished if his purpose had been a good, decent one.
I remember Tom Clapp from 25 years ago, glad to see he’s still enjoying the Kool Aid. I’m sure the capital will be totally cleared any day now.
All I can say is wow. “Millions” of people introduced … if they count TV ratings on anything she’s appeared on – when she wasn’t holding a WTH book. Also I’ve yet to see pride (or anything for that matter) restored for an entire nation, with this Way to Happiness booklet. Bold lies in the style of Goebbels. And Nancy Cartwright, what a joke. The two peace signs, had me thinking of Tricky Dick.
Well, for those people they can’t fool all of the time, they still have their HCO issued billy clubs for keeping the sheep in line.
What happened to all the impending OT IX and X release flyers from months ago? Crickets. Hard to keep up the hype when there is no substance.
Crickets, yep! But, don’t forget the tumbleweeds…
COB is busy man, and making the choice on which set of process will work as IX & X takes time. Just last month he ran multiple scenarios past his lawyers, they rejected them all on litigation-able grounds. When he gets the green light on one of them you’ll be informed. Patience please… they are on their way.
Ah, yawn, thanks for the update. I had forgotten about the whole litigation-able scenario. It’s going to be a long wait methinks.
yes ‘ums. Time is aberration so it indeed seems. Hurry up and wait… is the underlying agony of all Scientology cycles.
Demento needs to be well and truly soaked in Scotch, and possibly other substances, to keep working on HIS OT9 and 10. It’s about the only way he can channel Hubbard.
Can we watch ,Reefer Madness now?
Ahh Reefer Madness, that’s the movie the Church uses to refer to marijuana as something bad on their website. The fact that LRH attacked it means it will always be bad. Meanwhile, the rest of the science world is proving, through studies and stats that MJ is safe and effective in alleviating many physical and some mental conditions. Kind of like debunking OT 3’s story, it’s only a matter of time before much of what LRH said is DA’d.
Excuse me while I light up……….ahhhhhhhhhhh! Now that’s some great bud!
And after the election it will likely be legal.
No likely! It’s going to pass! And my family is ready to jump in with both feet.
Saw a very cranky retired DEA agent on cable news yesterday, he was there to discuss the upcoming election and trend toward legalization. Absurdly stuck in the past, all he did was talk about how dangerous pot is and how disastrous legalization would be. LOL! Here in Seattle, where recreational is happily legal and the pot stores are open 8 a.m. til midnight, all is well, life goes on, no disasters to report!
Well perhaps there are no pot-related disasters in Seattle but I assure you, many many people have destroyed their whole track recall there! They may be smiling now but wait until they need to remember something they did five trillion years ago!
Making a comparison with alcohol & pot, no one ever went home, after smoking two joints, and beat up his/her spouse.
Except that LRH proposed in a private letter that marijuana should be legalized….
I’d heard that but not seen the letter. But he did say in the first copy of DMSMH that I read, probably a ’78 vintage edition, that mj is effective but alcohol is taxable. Was that line removed in the 2007 edition?
Far out, can you dig it? Red on white man… how cool is that?
Red on white? That’s totally bitchin’. Seriously, totally…
Good Morning Mike.I have been a lurker on your blog the last week or so.I have suddenly realized the Holidays are fast approaching & Miss Ann better get it together!?I want to send out a huge Thank You to you & Hugs and Appreciation for this special blog.Manys the time that all of you have given back to me in so many ways.I love all of you.As to the funnies,I could re-design that Moneywinds Tee.Have the graphic of the old rust bucket as it is on the shirt,but out of the stacks great clouds of billowing dollar bills,spelling IAS into the winds.The arrows on the piece about the Admin Scale look like a hurricane tracker gone bad.But the chocolate had me mixing Willie Wonka goes OT with a chocolate sugar rush because there is no other reason to pen that poem,I can write some bad ones too,but that one is ridiculous! All the Ideal Orgs sitting around eating chocolate together.I would hate to be in charge of cleaning stations after that affair.As for the “lovely”Latin American actress who single handedly brought back the pride of her nation.I never heard of her.Actually the cult should rip off the mask completely and loudly scream from their rooftops.Now Hear This,Fair Game is the Only Game and Leah and all you degraded SPs are toast!For once dm tell the honest unvarnished truth about the true nature of your game.Carving up mountains and building mega mansions for Ron to return to does not begin to cut the mustard any more.??
Hi Ann B.! 🙂 It’s so nice to see you here, I was wondering where you had gone off to. I hope everything is going well for you, still awaiting that poem you are writing. I always enjoy hearing about your days in the Sea Org and recollections of Ron and Mary Sue. Love ya! – T.J.
@ann, I was thinking the Admin Scale looked more like Medusa’s hair.
Morning Ann. Your comments painted me a picture of a group of staffers all sitting in a circle holding hands singing Kum ba yah,& thinking all is well with what they do in the world. Delusion is all they have.
Anyone else ever heard of ‘leading Latin American actress’ Maria Lara? An internet search revealed no clues.
A poor staff member… Just got a bit poorer. I guess you could also say Nicola’s Pyle just got a lot smaller, silly woman, doubtless already working there every hour that God sends now she’s paying them for the priviledge!
My guess is that you could change the dates or shuffle some of the pictures and text around, and it would be an announcement that some Org is making or will soon make. There is a sort of “Mad Libs” quality to them, and the result falls into one of two categories: Join Staff (includes Central Files work) or Give Money.
I gotta ask. Hopefully someone here knows. What the HELL is with the 19th century book keeper uniform look for the Class V Orgs? What kind of positioning is that?
Before those uniforms came out staff were costumed according to where they were serving. For example, in Nashville, we wore staff uniforms that made us look like country music promoters because we were in Music City USA.
Cheesy, I know.
Let me if I may take this opportunity to extend my heart felt gratitude to Maria. As a result of getting my hands on one of her TWTH booklets I now know to brush my teeth and as well I am no longer an ax murderer.
I am paying this forward and giving a copy to all my fellow ax murderers. We should see an appreciable drop in ax murdering as a result. All I can say is I’m sorry world I didn’t know.
Thank you Maria!
Harvey, I still having problems brushing my teeth. If you have some time, can you come by and give me some pointers?
OK Dude, let’s do this on a “gradient”.
Step Number 1
Buy a tooth brush
Let me know when that’s a “done” and I will then give you further instructions.
Old OTs like OSD don’t need no stinkin’ toothbrush. His teeth cleaning is handled by the salt water & seaweed while riding the waves of freedom from The Way to Cultdom
For non-OTs Step one: Find out if you have teeth.
Harvey, You’ve also “Set A Good Example” to ax murderers everywhere. Thank you and very well done.
Thank you Aqua just trying to do my part.
Ah ha! I knew I was missing something! You’re good, Harvey!
Real OTs do it postulate. Plaque be gone! POOF! see… pearly whites!
Just like LRH had
Just like…
See! Now that’s the type of shit we’re talkin’ about.
The way to CRAPPYness is the shit we’re talking about. GAROOUNK!
@Harvey didn’t you know “being a scientologist means never having to say you’re sorry”. See TWTH didn’t tell you that, but once you’ve bought into the precepts of TWTH, you can buy into the whole never apologize deal and you’re good to go. You’re welcome.
@Valerie 🙂
Hey! What about me!!! I’m not gettin’ any younger here!!!
OSD, no worries, you’re ageless. And how is BSD (Baby Surfer Dude) doing, by the way?
Since reading THWTH I no longer have the urge to go out and kill axes. Thank you Maria.