URGENT – it’s NOT happening
Those super OT’s don’t seem to be making things go right. But you CAN always donate….
Talk freely
I assume this is ONLY for people who have NOT completed Grade 0…. And I wonder how Barbara Dews would do in a conversation with any commenter on this blog? Shrivel up and vanish no doubt.
OT IX for sale!
1985!!!! They sold him OT IX in 1985. THIRTY YEARS later and it’s STILL no closer to being available.
“These packages have a lot of value” ha ha ha ha
BTW anyone stupid enough to buy this from him deserves what will happen when they show up to actually try to enroll on OT VIII – “sorry, this package was for the OLD OT VIII, it’s not valid for the NEW OT VIII”
Postulates
If you are so expert at postulating the future, how come scientology is vanishing from the face of the earth? OK, may be a bit harsh. How about that mission of yours? Why is it smaller today than it was 20 years ago?
“International Speaker” Bubbles Champagne…
She will train you to sell rugs on the side of the road. She doesnt want you muscling in on her lucrative (?) seminar business though.
Love the venue for this one….
That is one impressive success
Not really. It actually says absolutely nothing. This is the best they’ve got?
Humble Hubbard
I am the only man in the history of the universe to find the road out. Even if I do say so myself…
It was an epic year
Our plans for 2017 include, music! With more cowbell (for SNL fans…)
Bubbles is everywhere
She has to get that new promo shot used…
Good news, Orlando designs are “breathtaking” and will make it clear its a “spiritual site”… It will rival the Taj Mahal. Notre Dame.
One of the most beautiful buildings ever!
This is NOT hype.
More Humble Hubbard
Scientology can PROVE it can attain wisdom, good health and immortality. Love to see it.
They’re booming
They have to get the OTC Chairman to advertise for a twin for a single public person. Sad. And this is the biggest and most important “ideal org” on earth.
More Cowbell
Man, would not want to miss this. Forget the briefing on the most important activity in the universe. John Bell and the Operators are in the house!
JAW Wins Award
Good to know he is being recognized for his great work letting the Twitterverse know firsthand just how crazy scientologists can be.
Bob Duggan?
He must be in ethics trouble… This must be some sort of amends project. Maybe he has been told he is responsible for the death of Charmaine – his drug didnt prevent her cancer or something?
Failed Mission
4 people showed up?
2 Trillion Dollars
And we are not getting enough of that cash obviously. But we are “capitalizing” on it….
More cowbell for AKNU.
They’re serious about getting that 2 trillion
Marisol Nichols OMG… Look out entertainment industry. Scientology is coming for you.
Scientology Expansion in Dallas
Oxymoron. Nobody has found their way to that place in years…
Team Valley
Give us more money.
We are spending $25 million to build an ideal org but plan nothing to promote it. So, give us more money. Just look at the marvelous and effective campaigns that have been done for all the other “ideal orgs” and you will know what a great idea this really is!
Dan Sherman’s Wall Poster
This hangs in front of him as he pens COB’s speeches.
More postulates!
Should be a done deal once all those powerful beings get together and postulate as one.
I assume this meant to say Hogwarts… Obviously she is a real Harry Potter aficionado.
The wrong thing to do is nothing…
Correct. How about you do something to prevent human rights abuses right there in your org. They are happening every day.
Valley Files
It just would not be a normal week if there wasn’t a begging message about Valley’s files…
Bubbles again
Now, what does 62 million visitors have to do with an ideal org? They are NOT going to go on service in the org… Hell, they won’t even SEE it.
Flag’s blown students
Apparently there are a lot of them. Tut tut.
Proof of good health?
I thought there were supposed to be barrels outside the door for people to throw away their glasses and canes? Is this the proof he was talking about? A Clear in a wheelchair?
Newsflash
We finally had a completion!
We are an “ideal org” and it is HUGE news to us when anyone finishes any course at all. These 2 are all we got. Otherwise you can hear about someone at AOLA.
Look out entertainment industry
This is apparently the new OCA. It’s free and whatever you find is your “weakness” “scientology can help you with that.”
Dan Sherman will be there, right?
It would not be a real competition without the Sherminator, his silver mullet and endless breathless sentences.
How generous can you get?
You only need to give us $37,500 to get your lapel pin that would ordinarily cost you $50,000. Just think about it, we are GIVING you $12,500 and a lapel pin. Can you imagine your good luck to be able to take advantage of us like this? It’s the most valuable lapel pin on earth, and you can virtually steal it from us with a small cash donation of just $37,500. And you can rip us off for even more if you want a trophy.
That’s it, OSD! That’s what’s keeping me awake at night! My BTs are screaming at me! I need to go up the Bridge and go OT!
Naaaaah. I’ll just sit here and watch Beverly Hillbillies reruns.
Much cheaper.
Hey! This stuff really works! I was watching the episode where the Clampetts go up to the penthouse in Mr. Drysdale’s bank and throw wads of cash out the window. When my BTs saw that, they went flying in all directions screaming like you wouldn’t believe! I think they were upset because Jed didn’t give the money to the IAS.
The Beverly Hillbillies: my route to OT!
Let’s give three cheers to Paul Henning!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
News flash Melissa Koel and Robert Whitlock are staff members. Dave Welch talking about OT III why? He was always removed and rarely if ever showed up to anything. Also I’m pretty sure he has been an OTIII for years and years.
This was typical of what I saw from this org. They couldn’t get any of the disaffected public to do anything so they would send long time staff members to do theses courses just to get the stat. Also they were under a lot of pressure to send people. The solution was to send staff. Why not they had no public to service.
Hi, Mike. I believe the photo of Ms Healey to be shopped (shopped?). Look at the lighting of her hair on the left side (of the photo, not her left). There’s something very set-off about it. Maybe she did get a certificate, but I think that photo is two photos merged together.
Wait, what? A seminar in Harare … Zimbabwe??? That country is a failed state. It has suffered countless financial meltdowns over the past few decades. They recently printed Zimbabwe dollars in trillion dollar denominations. MAYBE, just maybe, $cientology is really about helping people and NOT all about the money. Nah – just stupidity.
Zimbabwe is a poor country but it is also a very corrupt country. There’s going to be rich people who want to be told they deserve to be rich, and they’re probably ripe for the fleecing. Or so Scientology hopes.
In fact, that could be a good strategy for them. Go to all the kleptocratic nations and try to find a way in with the ruling elite. Most of those folks have more money, looted from their people, than they know what to do with. And, they’d find kindred souls in Scientology since Miscavige et al are cut from the same cloth.
Ok last comment, I promise. :-p On the advertisement looking for a “twin” for someone to do the srd… why does Kathy end it with “BAM!!!!!” That’s so weird…and kind of scary.
Ok, now wait a minute. The event in which Stanley Clarke was to perform is not being held after all? They acknowledge some people bought tickets just to see him, and were coming from out of town? Yet they are not refunding their money, but substituting an event in which Mr. Clarke is not appearing? That is not acceptable. It’s a bait-and-switch. I didn’t order a pair of top of the line name brand tennis shoes, just to be sent a pair of no-name knock-off track shoes. If you can’t give me what I paid for – give me my money back! How irritating.
The Flier that claims: “2016 had record-breaking numbers of people moving up the bridge at unprecedented speeds…” I was thinking: How can they outright lie like that? There is No Way they have more people than in the past doing these actions. Scientology loses popularity and more members every year. But then I realized “record-breaking numbers” could mean that they ‘broke a record’ for fewest number of people moving up the bridge… and ‘unprecedented speeds’ could mean it is slower than any time in history, so maybe these words are not an outright lie, you just have to interpret them correctly.
JAW made an appearance in the Saint Hill OT Committee newsletter also
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/fastest-growing-religion-in-the-21st-century-uk-edition/
He is listed as completing Objectives. How many times is that now?
“Scientology Media Productions will be turning the switch to put us on line and we have got to have all Ideal Orgs opened in each key city — including our very own Orlando”
Has anyone got a firm date as to WHEN that SMP switch will be turning on…or is someone sleeping at the wheel? SMP had its grand opening on May 28, 2016 but it’s been cricket sounds since then. Who knew that “rapid expansion” meant the massive extension of TIME it takes to complete a cycle of action?
http://www.tickcounter.com/countup/1464462000000/america-los_angeles/owd/FFFFFF3B5998000000FF0000/No_On-Air_Programming_since_SMP_Grand_Opening
Did anybody else notice that Tom Mendola wrote his own IMDB bio?
That’s not Sherman’s poster, there’s no, ‘moreover’, which is to say, ‘furthermore’ also missing.
Notwithstanding all that we have already mentioned, and to take the view from 30,000 feet, this is but a small part of the monumental array of unprecedented posters that decorate his straight up and vertically expanding writer’s lair nestled in the filtered sunshine of the southern California epicenter of epicness, which is to say, this is merely a glimpse of the infinity of words on the front porch to infinity that is fountain of so much wisdom that has shone light on the enlightened since the beginning of the universe…. etc etc
“Flag’s blown students”
“Apparently there are a lot of them. Tut tut.”
For me, this is the greatest news of all.
“An OT VII waiting to start on the SRD” pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?
“are you able to talk freely about your religion…” who the eff are they kidding.
This is for Peter Norton. I feel bad about not addressing your comment. Racism today in America is pretty sub rosa and it is not taught much in traditional history classes, but is becoming more widely studied in political science and other social sciences or specialized studies.. I would recommend an interesting book by Michelle Alexander called The New Jim Crow. My favorite general book to start with is Dogwhistle Politics: How Coded Racial Appeals Have Reinvented Racism and Wrecked the Middle Class by Ian Haney Lopez and just about anything by Tim Wise.
There are people who say the feel racism does not exist, but that is generally because it is systemic and institutional (both not as obvious as outright bigotry), and also does not affect them personally or is often not reported on, so they are not aware. Statistics show otherwise. Anecdotal evidence or personal experience just is not scientific. Bias is often intrinsic and institutional – it affects how people are treated in broad terms by organizations and institutions, not by reminders of diversity here and there, and it is cumulative and quantifiable.
Also our own perceptions are often skewed (especially if we are not on the receiving end).. A recent study of men showed that when they experience a room with only 18% women vs. 82% men, their perception is that the crowd was really split 50-50. That shows a huge cognitive dissonance between perception and fact (and that is a tiny example amidst hundreds of well-documented studies).
Also our perceptions of people may be impacted the veracity of the information they give – by how comfortable they are in admitting what they truly feel, particularly if they feel insecure or fearful in their positions and are thus less likely to admit they feel discriminated against. It’s a complicated subject, but quite a lot of information is available out there, including some really nice TED Talk type things to get started. The most important lesson we can all learn, imo, is not to rely on our own senses if we are not part of a group that can be stereotyped by another group that has greater influence and power.
And that was my point about abusive relationships. In healthy (non-abusive) relationships each person feels respected enough by another to voice their own perceptions and feelings without being minimized, penalized or blamed for that perception, particularly when the one affected by the actions has less of an advantage in authority, power or social influence over the narrative. I’m sure that many celebs in the church find it easy not to believe what goes on within the SO simply because it has nothing to do with their own experience and what they “see” is carefully controlled and interpreted for them should they have any doubt. But that does not make those experiences less true or real for the ones who do, nor does it mean that those abuses don’t go on either behind the scenes or in ways that are easy to “explain” should they be discovered. Bias can make any of us blind over time.
I swear Cecybeans that if a room has 82% men and 18% women I don’t think it’s split 50/50. I’ve been to WAY too many bars for that.
Oh, if ONLY Walt Disney had had the tech… just THINK of how many families he could have split up!
This made me laugh out loud!
Wow, how did I miss the Ventura/Oxnard event?? Back in the day, the Ventura Mission was run by Tom and Cathy Steiner. I did my purification rundown, TRs&Os, Life Repair auditing (I was not repaired…I didn’t even know I was broken,) and numerous courses and tape series.
I also did auditing and hangout a little as a kid at the Santa Barbara org.
I remember a reg cycle at the mission. Once when I was 18. They brought 8 people in the room demanding my bank info and credit card info.
I would have gone to protest this event.
“They brought 8 people in the room demanding my bank info and credit card info.”
Badafuco, you should have stood up and bitch slapped the shit out of all 8 of those motherfuckers. Talk about intimidation!
I love the “more cow bells”…I haven’t laugh this much in a long time! Thank you.
I recall, from a past edition of Thursday Funnies, the Dallas org putting out a desperate plea (was it a year ago? two?), begging local members to come do basic landscaping maintenance because the grass and weeds were getting out of hand.
Obviously, there was no money to pay a mow-and-blow crew to make a weekly visit, and not enough staff on hand to do it themselves. And now they’re crowing about expansion? LOL.
The only other interpretation for “Expansion Event” I can come up with is that it will be a presentation on how every other org has been expanding, so why isn’t Dallas? Accompanied, of course, by heavy regging for other Ideal Org projects [*cough*Valley*cough] so Dallas can prove they aren’t a bunch of downstat losers.
Turns out it was May 2015: https://www.mikerindersblog.org/ideal-org-reality/
I went by there (first time ever) out of curiosity about 3 weeks ago. It turned out to be a very windy day. There were approximately 30 white folding chairs out back on the lawn with blue symbols on them they were empty. My best guess was they either took everyone inside due to the wind or no one showed up. I know someone will ask how is it the chairs weren’t blown over….ok maybe the wind wasn’t that bad bottom line they were empty. In front there’s this circular drive there were about 5-6 cars out there one was an old white Toyota pickup. Maybe they found a lawn guy? I’ll go back soon and let you guys know what I see.
“Take your next step up”, it says.
Under an image of a woman in a wheelchair.
Take your next step to bankruptcy…
RE: SHERMANSPEAK – How about ‘soul-crushing’? 😛
A lot of goodies this Thursday. Thank you Mike. Two got me. That the Orlando Ideal Org will ” instantly be known as a spiritual site.” You really think so Bubbles? Gosh how could I tell what with all the public streaming through the doors to get a taste of the cult’s spirituality. Disconnection, Lies and money grubbing all very spiritual indeed. And more total joy, in honor of my first read of DMSMH in 1974, I am so thrilled I can have a leather bound edition with ” a lovely satin yellow ribbon to mark my place” that will go very well with,where is that piece of goldenrod?! ?
Ann, I took that phrase to be a tacit reference to the awkward fact that the new Orlando building is a rather odd commercial edifice in an office park, that looks more like a motel than a church. I would not be surprised if the local “parishioners” expressed some disappointment about the current appearance of the building, but that could presumably be fixed if they had enough money – from further fundraising, of course.
Orlando seems to have an org barely able to survive, currently housed in a temporary location after giving up their spot in a run-down strip mall, so they are probably in a real struggle to raise money to renovate the cheap older building that they just barely managed to purchase. I suspect it will be one of the projects that sits for a long, long time, producing slightly sad pieces for the Thursday Funnies, and eventually may even be one that gets abandoned.
Can anyone attend a Scientology event without being invited or being a member? And do you have to pay?
Do they trap you & are you expected to stay for hours?
No personal experience with Scientology but I feel as if it’d be like sitting through a time share presentation for the free gift but without the free gift.
I’d rather have a tooth pulled, actually.
If the event is labeled “For Scientologists only”, then only parishioners are supposed to be there. Otherwise all are welcome. Admission is free; they hit you up for the cash (known as ‘regging’ )when the event is over.
Do they at least off “refreshments”…..besides Kool Aid
Re: **Save the Date ** Copywriter Infringement. A very common basis for the church’s lawsuits. ‘Harry Potter, Hogwarts’, etc., I’m willing to bet these are copywrited and since they are charging admission, wouldn’t they have to obtain permission and pay royalties?
That’s copyright. And that protects the composition (which can quoted for certain purposes known as “Fair Use”). Words or symbols (like Coca Cola) are protected by Trademark law. It prevents people from being confused about what is the real thing.
(I am so embarrassed ? ) I know better. Must have been a ‘senior moment’ as I have a birthday coming up . Thank you for keeping me and the rest of us on our toes.
Also, Thank you again for all that you do. You have very big shoulders.
Wishing you a very happy birthday, OB! May 2017 be your best year yet. And, may the best day of your past, be the worst day of your future….
Thank you, Dude for the beautiful sentiment.
I’ve been catching up on all of the ‘conversations’ about being in PT. As a never-in and an old person I just got a scary thought; if I’m not here in PT, where the hell am I? ?
It looks like there can be issues with just this sort of use, see the article Harry Potter and the Chamber of Lawyers about a case in which Warner Brothers sent a cease-and-desist letter to the host of a “Harry Potter Dinner” for which there was a charge:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2009/oct/26/harry-potter-halloween-warner-lawyers
Some of these are hilarious, some embarrassing. I get a kick in the teeth when a promo bullet is used about the Universe Corp. (unless I’m missing something it hasn’t existed in years)
“The Golden Age of Knowledge Center in Canada”
Wait, what?! Is that some new title for the Cambridge Org?
Mike….LOVE the cowbell references. One of the best SNL skits ever!!!! I am curious about the Hogswart (??) ad…..Wouldn’t that be considered out-ethics to read those books? They are all about witchcraft…magic…etc…and saving the world from evil. Maybe just for Sea Org members and not public? It seems strange to me because I thought the only books to read were LRHs? Or am I being to literal?
I read Harry Potter when I was in the SO and many other books too. All of Wilbur Smith and James Clavell for example.
Thanks for taking the time to answer. I have been listening to Leah’s podcast w/ Joe Rogan. It’s really good. Very informative….lots of detail. Everyone here should listen to it.
Again….keep doing what you are doing. You are AWESOME!!!!
Definitely… Leah’s podcast with Joe Rogan was awesome!
Yes, agreed. The podcast was very informative and helpful. Its therapy 🙂
Mike, you were a well read SOer. One would have thought I was about to get a condition for reading Hymn of Asia on the loading dock at Asho where the public might see it. I remember an orders of the day note that we were to read Ron and more Ron. The big paperback at the time other than Ron’s was Conan for some reason. I never read them the covers gave me giggles. ?
“Changes happen daily”. “It’s so hard to pin point or describe”. “I know I blew some charge on the Rundown but cannot tell you what it was. It’s just not there anymore.” Thank you BK. I ask you, has there ever been a more explicit or compelling testimony to the transformative effects of scientology tech?
“My dynamics expanded to infinity” still isn’t chopped liver though.
I spotted that unintentionally hilarious testimonial comment too! Sounds exactly like the kind of “wins” that a person who is being beaten with a hammer has when the beating stops!
Or maybe it’s more like the same kind of unexplainable win that folks have after being lobotomized…part of their brain is no longer functioning, and its the part that enables them to recall who they were in the past and how they’re different now!
$cn, when 100% standardly applied, is a virtual lobotomy that can disable you for a lifetime!
“…I ask you, has there ever been a more explicit or compelling testimony to the transformative effects of scientology tech?”
rogerH, you made my afternoon with that one :).
First time I’ve seen a wheelchair in these ads. Are people who are physically disabled welcomed into the ranks of this church? I’m just wondering.
With no new middle aged people and with the only new young people being the kids and grandkids of the longtime oldsters already in – in short, with no fresh younger faces “flooding” in to Co$, I’m expecting to see a LOT of wheelchairs, walkers and canes gracing the Mikes’ Funnies in not too distant future
The ONLY people they can get are those who don’t know how to use Google.
They are.But the issue here us that the woman in the wheelchair has supposedly gone clear. L Ron Hubbard claimed that Clears could throw away their glasses, wheelchairs, walkers, sitz baths, etc, because Dianetics did away with physical maladies.
Mike, please correct me if I’m wrong.
JAW’s social media “award” has me rolling in the aisles. No surprise his gem of a girlfriend didn’t win Miss Congeniality.
Also, let’s ask legendary Minneapolis band The Replacements what they think of the cult “borrowing” their name to use on a poster for a for-profit event, shall we?
Dave,
Entertainment Industry Update:
There is still plenty of low hanging fruit to capitalize on (Feshback style). Shorting the market has a special appeal for you, LOL.
The bubbles are bursting in Hollywood. Sony Pictures and Colombia Pictures are the most recent write down (losses) casualties. If you do your due diligence, you will find other bubbles about to burst.
If you want to cast a wider net, visitors to DC are noticing that a cloud has lifted; the exception being that K Street is experiencing what Main Street experienced for many years.
By the way, did you catch the Johnson & Johnson (JNJ) bounce from egg-removing facial scrubs; black, platinum and purple hair dies?
Helen Healy was on staff at Portland Celebrity Center thirty years ago. She was a pushy reg that annoyed me to no end and who definitely wasn’t in a wheelchair. What happened? Is she still on staff at Portland Org? That wouldn’t surprise me. But, what’s up with the wheelchair? And: after forty years in Scientology and something happening to her that put her in a wheelchair, she has just now achieved the state of Clear? Unbelievable.
In the early 1980s people who were ill were declared Potential Trouble Sources who had to handle their condition before they could receive more services. Even by the time I gave up on Scientology in the 1990s, however, there were examples of terminally ill people trying to go OT and who were allowed to do so because of all the money they gave. At the time, I thought it was an example of the church going squirrel and it was one of the prime factors which drove me away. Imagine, letting PTS losers go up the Bridge! The effrontery!
I don’t think that way anymore, praise Xenu, but it is still extraordinary to see what the church has become. What happened to “making the able more able”?
Huh. In my day you were supposed to complete a “Dianetics Case Completion” before Clearing, which had the End Phenomenon “Well and happy human being”. Not too many “well and happy human beings” in wheelchairs or dying of cancer. I guess if you have the bucks they bend the rules.
We had a guy with a withered arm at the San Francisco Organization. We were doing a Drug Rundown on him, with great hopes that it would help his arm… I guess hope springs eternal in the human breast but I am pretty sure he didn’t get a withered arm from his drug experiences. Since he was born with it.
The cult claims they can cure anything…
Infinitely More Trouble, asked, “What happened to “making the able more able”?”
Scamology was never able to produce that result so maybe someone smart dropped it as a goal? What it DID do was make the hopeful, if not gullible, poorer and more miserable.
In order to understand $cn as it actually works, you need to understand that all $cilons do not stand in equal favor in the Great Hall of Elron. Indeed, there’s an inverse functional relationship between how wealthy, powerful and famous you are and how strictly ethics procedures and policies apply to you.
At the very tip-top of the heap, fabulously wealthy A-list hollywood celebs, like Tom Cruise could murder an SP in Times Square and receive no push back from the cherch at all. They are not required to disconnect from anyone that they do not wish to be parted from. It’s very obvious that within the cult, there are different rules for different classes of $cilons.
The effing effrontery of it all indeed! Not only is $cn a jealous and vengeful religion, it is an unfair one as well which features a caste system – ranging from BTs to billionaire parishioners, and from newly recruited $ea Org teens to Dear Leader himself – in which wealth, fame and status confer both special benefits and immunity to punitive actions.
Re the Stain Hill poster: “It is after all no co-incidence that with our WISE expansion East Grinstead has been reported as one of the top ten most prosperous places to live in the UK”. Only someone drowning in Kool Aid could believe for a moment that an insignificant, self satisfied bourgeois backwater such as East Grinstead could be seen as ‘one of the top ten’ for anything (except smugness perhaps?). “Reported as” by whom I wonder?
Top ten most prosperous places in the UK: http://metro.co.uk/2015/10/27/the-most-prosperous-places-in-the-uk-how-happy-is-your-town-5463971/
Not sure if this is of interest to you or not thought I’d mention just in case. Mike Farrell the actor better known as “BJ” on MASH spent time with CAN (Cult Awareness Network) doing research for a film he was working on. He started getting calls late night & otherwise being harrassed if I read it right the article said it was $cientology doing the harassing. Have you ever written about this? Thanks.
“And I wonder how Barbara Dews would do in a conversation with any commenter on this blog?” You mean a conversation about being able to…….disseminate easily? talk freely about your religion? and help others as much as you want?
Pretty sure I can speak for most everyone who comments here when I say that any of us would GLADLY accept that challenge! Well, we would if we had assurances that she would really speak with (and also actually listen to) us and not just “shrivel up and vanish”.
But something tells me it wouldn’t be so easy for her to “talk freely about her religion” with people here that truly can “disseminate easily”, when that dissemination would be loaded with logic and reason and facts. So obviously she would have no interest in “helping others” if those “others” included people like us who would challenge her own unique and twisted version of reality.
P.S. And that whole “62 million visitors in 2014” in Orlando? I’m pretty sure that has mostly to do with Disney World (my family was part of the 64 million in 2015). And from what I’ve been able to learn, it seems to me that, when compared to going to the Orlando org, Disney World would be much more fun, much more entertaining, even much more “believable”, and regardless of how much a Disney vacation can cost, it seems like it wouldn’t cost NEARLY as much as compared to the costs of going into a CoS org and signing up.
My wife and I are huge Disney fans. My travel agent wife got an offer we couldn’t refuse from Orlando: 8 days, all of our meals (including snacks), a $350 a night room and access to all 4 theme parks, for $1,000.
At the end of our trip, my wife and I became OT 10. Leave it to Disney to shoot us to the top of the bridge! We don’t need no stickin’ Scientology…
Wow, helluva deal you got there for a Disney vacation, and you got to OT 10 on top of that! If only getting to OT 10 in Scientology was that cheap…..well, you can’t even get it there yet until all orgs reach St. Hill size, or they’re all Ideal Orgs, or…….some other excuse they’ll come up with for why they can’t release it “just yet”.
If I had to put money on it, I’d say that the REAL reason DM isn’t releasing OT IX & X is because A) they don’t even exist, and DM keeps hanging this carrot out there to keep the money flowing (according to what I’ve read), or B) it wouldn’t surprise me if they actually do exist somewhere, but that LRH’s mind was so far gone by the time he wrote them that they’re so far out of left field in a way that will actually make the story of Xenu seem almost believable by comparison.
Scumbags. The event to celebrate the purchase of the Ventura building won’t happen because they failed to purchase the Xenu-damned building. How about this, geniuses: First buy the building; then collect sucker money to celebrate. But the worst of it is that this situation calls for a CASH REFUND, and they are instead giving credit for a future, similar type event. What if I’m not available on the date of a future event? What if Stanley Clarke isn’t at the future event?
I can’t believe that people give their money to Scientology. It’s mind-blowing. You might as well pile cash on the backyard barbecue and cook burgers with it.
But…you will be! Maybe not in THIS body…
Haaahaaaha…Elron’s unwritten, but very well-understood, prime directive was: Never ever return a single red cent that’s been donated to the cherch unless forced to by a court of law (and only then, after every possible effort to subvert the course of justice has been made).
What’s even more hilariously appropriate and ironic is that the replacement entertainment is a fake band who stole the name of the real band, The Replacements…Elron would be delighted to hear that the cherch carries on his proud tradition of blatantly conniving chicanery with absolutely no apologies to be offered to anyone at any time!
Stanley Clarke WON’T be at the future event but take heart there’s always the Replacements. Sounds like a fair trade? Didn’t think so.
You’re absolutely correct. The only equitable solution for replacing a legend like SC with some also-ran is indeed a cash refund. Do they REALLY think that out-of-towners who would have turned up for a jazz legend are willing to pick up the travel expenses for some other act no one has ever heard of (except for in the form of the original Replacements whose name these sorry substitutes appropriated)?
Any concert promoter trying this sort of switcheroo would find themselves at the business end of a class action lawsuit! But then again, concert promoters can’t threaten their audiences with a declare if they don’t STFU and take it!
Hubbard sez:
“Scientology can demonstrate that it can attain the goals set by Man for all religions, which are wisdom, good health and immortality.”
There you have it, permission from the Founder to demonstrate these goals. Let’s start with DMSMH. Ok you ‘clears’ out there, toss those eye glasses and forget the tissues for your nonexistent sniffles. I’m waiting…
So, the replacement act for Stanley Clarke is really called “the Replacements”? The Replacements? Sorry (Ma, Forgot To Take Out The Trash), but you’ll have to Let It Be, since that name’s already taken, Tim, and by a legendary group. If Bob Stinson were still alive, he’d be kicking a lot of people in the balls right now, and he’d be too drunk to care about it. It was just his way of saying Pleased To Meet Me.
And speaking of that flyer, does anyone else get a little bit of whimsy from the fact that they’re using the Japanese yen symbol as a wingding in a flyer for a Chinese New Year party?
Scientology’s really riding hard on musicians in this week’s selection. The Jive Asses, Stanley Clarke, AKNE, and the new bitches on the block John Bell and the Operators. So where’s Stacy Francis? Lack of her makes me think that the boatload of appearances she made at cult venues was part of an amends project. Or did her laughable failure at relevance during Black Lives Matter put her in the doghouse?
Apparently Richie still has his package because he didn’t lock it up in the storage locker with his five-million-dollar bowling trophy. Oh, Acunto, we will remind you of that whenever you put your head above the parapet because, let’s face it, it’s lulzy and you deserve every bit of the humiliation that you get. You must live and be thoroughly browbeaten, if only to remind Grant Cardone that you are his future.
A Financial Freedom and Independence Seminar? In Zimbabwe? A country that only has a stable currency because they’re using the US Dollar? What rational reason would Bubbles have to go there? Some kind of fucked-up pilgrimage to see where LRH stayed when he was in Rhodesia? Too many questions, not enough answers. Or not enough answers that wouldn’t stretch my already-fragile sanity to breaking point.
Four people made the long trip from Tampa, huh? How did Mighty My Mammy cope with the onslaught of people? Four people is a lot more than they normally have visit them in a week, much less a day. The sensory overload of unfamiliar faces must have been mind-crushing. Although I wonder how much Mighty My Mammy’s heart is really in it. There were some moments toward the end of the “SO #1 Line ‘Ron’ Quotes” ad campaign where you kinda felt like someone there was taking the piss, that there was some passive-aggression peeking through that flew over the heads of everyone there because of the whole special communication line mystique they’ve built up over the last forty years.
Have the proceeds from a leatherbound campaign ever been used for a Non-E ad campaign? From the evidence we have where Idle Morgues have actually sold all of their leatherbounds (the requirement for starting the ad campaign), the answer is no. All of the money has gone to the usual places: most of it “uplines” and some of it so that the morgue can pay the utilities bills for a few months.
So why the sudden push to get Orlando done? They may get 62 million visitors a year, but we all know what they’re there for: Disney World, Universal Resorts, great golf courses, a burgeoning foodie scene, and a population totally geared toward the needs and desires of tourists, even moreso than Las Vegas. So unless they’re going to make this org so that people will mistake it for Hogwarts at the Wizarding World Of Harry Potter, no one’s coming in. No one would come in anyway, of course, but humor me.
So why the sudden push for Orlando? I’m going to take the Follow The Celebrities path. I think that Davey is losing his grip on his boyfriend Cruise, who may be in the midst of an existential crisis regarding his daughter and his disconnection from her. That means one thing: tighten his grip on Big Celeb #2. Orlando would be the closest org to the Travoltas’ compound, and it’s one they never visit because Kelly is too disgusted by it. However, make it Idle and glitzy and glittery, and Kelly may come around, and if Kelly comes around, John will follow. We know of at least three Idle Morgues that have opened because of Cruise. It’s not too much of a stretch to believe that one would open because of JT.
“Lyle Roland”…Thirties B movie star or Seventies porn name? You decide. By the way, how did he become co-chair of Flag OTC Committee? That would require Bubbles to have to give up some of her authority, and there’s no way that stone cold bitch would ever allow that to happen. Maybe she is doing amends.
Lots of thought-provoking stuff this week, and there was no sign of Fearless Leader, Clive Rabies, Michael Chan, Gavin Potter, or any of the other regular cast. This can only mean one thing: Thursday Funnies are getting funnier and funnier as the cult circles down the drain.
Great post Espi!
Ditto!
Espi,
Your impartial analysis is always appreciated.
Ideal Orgs? Better ‘called ‘Ideal Buildings’ since that’s what they are.
Funny and another red flag for me in 2011, when I saw the Very large list on a board, names for people to contact from members if they knew them, to get them back.
Kaye Champagne’s ‘Prosperity is Us’ tour is being held at the:
Pariah State Cafe & Pizzeria??
Definition of pariah
1:a member of a low caste of southern India
2:one that is despised or rejected : outcast
Was Chuckie Cheese busy?
How anyone can think that an Orlando Idle mOrg can compete with Disneyworld and the other theme parks has holes in their head. Ok, I forgot about the target audience. Never mind…
I find it coincidental that since I have been reading your blog and watched the series on A&E, that I have been receiving stuff in the mail from the bridge!
Please explain that, How did they get your details?
It happened to me as well…after eluding the cult for over three decades, they finally ran me to ground and started sending me all of the various cult mags, like Source and The Auditor.
How that happened is beyond my ken, but I suspect nefarious dealings!
Sticky aren’t they?
The church has access to some sort of computer program through the post office where they can track someone with an unknown address and find out where they are currently living. I have seen this in my own org as well as at Pac Land Base.
Not sure how it happened…I have never been to any of the Churches. The envelope had a California address on it.
“…stuff in the mail from bridge.” That wasn’t Suicide Bridge in Pasadena was it?
Ironic that they quote Walt Disney speaking of the importance of people when at the same time Scientology works so hard not only to destroy the individual but relationships as well. Also, as far as the “Bringing the Real Magic” event goes, I googled Bob Schmidt and the only one I could find for Atlanta is a dentist who is big with Invisalign and implants. However there was this little blurb near the bottom of his page;
“As a solid contributor to the community, Dr Schmidt serves as the Executive Director for the Citizens Commission on Human Rights and as the Vice-President for the Narconon Center of Georgia. He is also a strong sponsor of the Drug Free Marshals program.
While practicing in Atlanta, Dr. Schmidt serves in many leadership roles in the dental arena and in the community. Best known for his early dental disease detection skills and focus on preventive care, Dr. Schmidt’s patients say his personal commitment to their individual needs is the trait that makes him such a special person and a stellar dentist.
He and his wife, Mary Schmidt, a registered nurse, live in Norcross and are the proud parents of three children.”
Keep up the good work! These bits are illuminating and confirmative of why I’m a secular humanist.
Wow, the kind of quasi opinion leaders being used now have scraped the BOTTOM of the barrel. Tommy Mendola, Kay Champaiign, Marisol Nichols, Eknu or whatever their name is.
This shows the the true level of expansion of the Cherch.
Straight up^ and vertical, highest evers with BAD PRESS
Straight down\/ and vertical – GOOD PRESS
I saw what the mayor of Clearwater said about Scientology and breaking up families. Leah and Mike strike again, they are doing a great job of Branding Scientology correctly.
Dangerous, abusive, slave labor scam, fraud, criminal, breaking up families. Those are the keywords that the public thinks about Scientology. No self respecting celebrity should defend the cult unless they want their TVQ to drop dramatically.
End days are here for the cult of greed.
Sad that Richie Acunto is that broke,
LOL, Acunto STILL hasn’t figured out the scam even after donating himself into poverty years ago.
I’m confused. On what (Scientology?) website is Richie Acunto selling his outdated OT Level, and how is it that Co$ is permitting him to offload it in the first place?
Richie Acunto?
http://tonyortega.org/2014/11/22/the-scientologist-who-wouldnt-fly-the-rise-and-fall-of-insurance-mogul-richie-acunto/
Poor guy. It’s a shame scientology doesn’t feel compassion for someone who gave so much. He is a true cautionary tale in my book.
Wasn’t he the guy who said, referring to his insurance company: Any car, any driver?
OSD, I found an old Ad on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfcARoQCvs8
Yep! That’s him! Good find, Mike!
Guess nobody got the memo that Harry Potter was banned at the International Base. Too many folks were reading paperbacks on the bus on the way home.
There is something irresistible about a story about folks with real OT Powerzzz that actually work… We had to read Chapter 19 Responsibility from the “Advanced Procedures and Axioms” book instead, three times a week. “A soldier shot on the field of battle may “blame” the sniper, the Selective Service, the stupidity of government, but he nevertheless had full responsibility not only for being there and getting shot but for the sniper, Selective Service and the stupidity of government.” Somehow it just hasn’t got the same zing.
“You must fight for your right to party..”. (Beastie Boys, popular CD in the E-Meter production line at Gold, late 90s)
They also banned Dungeons and Dragons at the Big Blue in 1980. Then they banned TV. What is the world coming to? No fun allowed? Unless it is the rollicking good times of dressing up to fork over more dough?
That’s the 13th characteristic of an SP – having fun!
OMG! I Yawn just proved that I’m an SP! What the Hell should I do? Celebrate!!!!!
Tom may want to meet you and get your autograph.
These brochures have to make one laugh.
The first giggle is Bubbles Champagne having an event in Harare, Zimbabwe. I remember reading about Zimbabwe”s economy a few years ago. It would take a wheelbarrow of Zim Dollars to pay for a breakfast. Just read this from an article on-line…”In January 2009, the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe permitted the use of foreign currency in Zimbabwe in response to an economic decline that caused inflation levels of 5 billion percent….” She must be going there for the free airplane tickets to Africa as she cant make any $ there.
An you got to love this one. LRH stating the following “… SCN can demonstrate that it can attain the goals set for Man by all religions, which are wisdom, good health and immortality…” I seem to recall that the Founder and all knowing Source had the wisdom to turn his cult over to a Sociopath who is living like a king while poor founder was living in a motor home, the health of a number of strokes and the immortality of ending up in a Creston, California morgue, at 75 years old. And people still buy into his tech – even after years of leaving the organization. I wish more people would face reality of this “tech”.
I’m sure you’ll get a few comments on this, but I googled the most visited cities in the world and the top three or four lists all have Bangkok, Thailand in the number one position (with 21 plus million), followed by London, Paris, Dubai, New York, Singapore, KL Malaysia, Istanbul, Tokyo, Seoul ….
Probably Orlando must be on some list somewhere though with 62 million people doing something, so I’m not gonna just do a knee jerk comment on another big lie in the bubble land of delusion known as the church of scientology … but ….
Just to come clean here, I did just glance at the list again and saw that it said “international visitors” so maybe Orlando is number one counting Americans as well as folks from other countries.
Orlando = Disney. Another place where you pay big to live in a fantasy world.
I hate when people force me to defend scientology, but let’s just chalk it up to my obsession with getting facts right. In the ad they declared it was the most visited city in the U.S. not the world. I didn’t bother to see if that was true but, try googling that instead.
According to Forbes, it’s Orlando, just edging out New York, then Chicago, Orange County, Las Vegas…
I’m sure it is just another of their #AlternativeFacts, probably counting BTs.
I tried counting my BTs, but, they kept screaming at me. BTs can be really mean…
“Scientology can demonstrate that it can obtain the goal set for man by all religions, which are wisdom, good health and immortality.” L. Ron Hubbard.
REALLY!!! You’re not goshing me are ya? I’ve been around this Scientology gig for some 30 something years and I’ve never seen it do that. But OK, I’ll bite – give me a demo, show me!
OH, I SEE! It’s a clay demo!
But clay demos are accurate, right? Ummmmm….right?
In summer they are more “runnie”, more soft and pliable, hence cover more of the table. We can extrapolate from that, that only in winter are they more accurate. It’s a seasonal type of thing.
No wonder my clay kept falling apart…
I drive past the location for the Burbank mission several times a week and had no idea it was there. I guess theyre so OT they don’t even need a sign. Disguising it as pediatric therapy is clever thoigh – throw the SPs off the scent.
Scientology missions now have cloaking abilities. It’s there, but, you can’t see it.
They do know the folks in Harry Potter killed the evil Voldemort. Is metaphor lost?
But, seriously folks, what is a meta for?
Metaphor lost? But I saw him running the road chasing a cat only yesterday. Is there a reward for his return yet?
If there is a reward, I’ll split it with you, I Yawn. I’ve been trying to capture the lost metaphor for decades.
I love the first one – they cancelled an event, but God forbid they give you your money back. I honestly think it’s not in CO$’s vocabulary – ‘give money back? Oh, no no no! Give them a credit! ‘
If Ticketmaster or any other company only gave credit instead of refunds, the law would get involved to get people their money back. But scientologists happily put tons of money on credit for future courses. I’m sure DM sits up at night wondering how he can talk more people into putting their entire bank accounts on credit for future courses.
Scientology has convinced it’s flock over the years that any and all donations make “clearing” on planetary scale more feasible and if the donor cannot make use of those funds for various reasons-then someone else will benefit from a “stronger organization”. I believe in this wise the Scientology Money Cult has created a successful mindset of “contribution to the group is more important than your own life” and rationale that challenges this is met with ferocity. I believe this posit has evidence and support that can be found in Hubbards writings going all the way back into the 60’s.
Cool read! Thanks for posting.
I *hope* we are in for more lulz: with news circulating that 6 major hollywood studios were sold to Chinese Investors recently, I can’t wait to see the CC Reno plans!
Also, Mike, what ever happened to Helena K? She went from internet notoriety (http://smokyhole.org/cos/legal-crim.htm) to obscurity….did she get the Shelly treatment? She did not look so well after starting ‘OT III’. You were there. Who had the idea to remove a newsgroup as a way of ‘handling’?
It appears that laughing them out of existence is an effective course of action…..
Tom, you’re absolutely right! Laughing at Scientology is the best medicine… for those of us who are out!
Tom,
You didn’t have to ever remind me of that face of Helena Korbin. A face that once seen cannot be unseen.
I swear cob hauled her out of the cave (Macbeth) to chant: “By the pricking of my thumb/Something wicked this way comes.” That be she. And all the while harassing worldwide.