We start out Thursday Funnies with some REAL funny.
Cathy Shenkelberg’s one woman show Squeeze My Cans is opening in Tampa today for a limited engagement through Sunday.
I encourage everyone in the local area to support her…
And nice to see this morning, the Tampa Bay Times doing a front page review of the show and Cathy’s story.
Ideal Org = Empty Space
Every time they promote these ideal orgs they inadvertently (?) promote exactly what you DO get.
This is apparently their idea of “more scientologists” Wow…
A briefing about OT for OT’s by a Non-OT
Amazing – a briefing from someone who is NOT OT VII to people who must be OT VII or VIII is “life-changing”. Wonder WTF those people got out of OT VII and VIII if Gavin Potter can change their lives?
“Newsflash”
25 people gathered for LRH’s Birthday Event! Massive expansion like never before…
Just what you need
Every great religion needs techniques to “close” their “prospects”… It’s also so ecclesiastical.
This tells you everything you need to know
For two years in a row, Pasadena has been the fastest expanding org in WUS. And it is STILL not St Hill Size. Imagine how shitty all the other “ideal” orgs are…
Minimalist
They probably don’t have a lot to cover on Epics and Epic Heroes in Kansas City. They’ve had a new building for what must be a decade or more. And are no closer to moving in.
Nightmares?
Being asked over and over to hand over money is probably the biggest one.
Wow, wow, wow
Let’s get excited!
Their designs are done! Isn’t that amazing. So they pulled out a sand box and stuck a shovel in it…. They managed a few more than 25 people. But didnt crack 50.
Professional Closer Seminar
Yep, sure sounds religious doesn’t it…
The Event that Changed Nothing
Sure looks like a rollicking affair. That Sea Org ceremony was a real ballbuster. Two sad kids with flags??
Fight Agaisnt Drugs
Nigeria is part of South Europe now? Guess that Narconon Africa in Joburg is really on the ball.
Show them the way to freedom…
By giving us your money
Empty as can be
Who is the “Sir” and what is the “Done”?
Is is COB? And are you reporting compliance to making money? Will look really good if he is ever deposed.
Ideal OrgEBay
So, the UK have come up with a new money-making scheme. Donate your junk and we will auction it on line and collect the proceeds.
This should be good for maybe £100 a week…
Get ’em while they’re babies
Just sad. She can’t even write properly. Hey mom and dad, how about putting her in a real school instead of a sauna?
Totally professional
Miami is “doing it right”
We are eating cake
We made millions for the IAS and they are giving us cake. WOW, what more could a devoted slave ask for? A million dollar piece of cake. Cheap at twice the price.
Really?
That’s not what those who are suing Narconon say…
Auckland Ideal Org has a different approach
Not going for “clearing their city” or country or zone. No, they are aiming for a “psych-free” zone.
Lots of luck with that Steve. Though it is probably more likely than making Clears.
Big news in Pasadena
This OT VIII who has been in Scientology since 1970 finally learned how to use study tech. Probably needs to go back now and redo everything he has ever done.
And here is Kevin Burke, diehard scientologist. He made his money from business managing with Bruce Wiseman (CCHR guy), all the celebs including Nancy Cartwright use him. And after all these years, he has finally completed PTS/SP.
It is EPIC!
This is the biggest Ideal event ever in Kansas City.
Unfortunately, that means nothing at all.
Pasadena Org… wow they have bowling jackets!
The big Lebowski of all scientology orgs.
And if you disagree with their church, “Well, that’s just, um, like, your opinion, man!”
Does anyone know if Nancy Cartwright was at the Valley Org grand opening? She was such a major part of their Ideal Org fundraising, but I haven’t heard anything about her in months or more.
Yes, she was. She yanked the ribbon with a few other whales and the tiny dicktator.
Thanks. For so long she was in your face, everywhere, I just haven’t heard anything about her lately.
Idealorgbay is a joke. There was a listing for a website by the builders of Idealorgbay (gosh, I wonder if they’re $camologists?) and fifteen paintings all by the same artist, most of which look like something from the ’70’s when garish was a fashion for a while.
And soon as Tim and Kevin get too old and sick to be of any use to $camology it’s, “Say hello to the pavement.”
Of course it’s EPIC! Just look at the flyer, it’s an EPIC! flyer to show that it’s going to be an EPIC! EVENT! Agh, erg, blah, EPIC!ITIS! is setting in…
Ted Stourton may get a kick up the arse unless he produces an piece of “art” or two to auction. 😀
Ugh, that Done Sir award for Birmingham makes me gag. How about an alternate award: I was a brainwashed dick who got talked into forking over $000’s with nothing to show for it but this stupid plaque, hope you are impressed you snivelling little weasel.
I remember when I trashed my ideal org awards, I obliterated my name engraved on each one completely, I was not about to see them turning up on some website advertising the fact I’d given my life savings to an evil cult.
Maybe one day TC will tell Suri, he is Done, Suri, as in done with scientology for good. The golden boy is probably too far gone with this cult, but one can only hope.
What does a Scientology Church Service consist of? The one mentioned above says it is on a Sunday. Is that the usual day. Does Scientology have a “holy” day? Are there prayers? To whom do they pray? if there is a Scientology Choir what do they sing? Do they read from Dianetics at the service? Is there an order of service? Any information you could give would be interesting. Thanks.
Here’s the official explanation from Scientology about Sunday services.
http://www.scientology.org/faq/inside-a-church-of-scientology/what-are-scientology-sunday-services.html
I asked about it once and was told that most organizations don’t hold them regularly.
An excerpt if you don’t want to give their site any hits and need a chuckle:
“The Church of Scientology Sunday service consists of a reading of the Creed of the Church of Scientology, a sermon based on the writings of the Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard or the playing of one of his recorded lectures. Churches also feature the ministration of Scientology spiritual counseling in which the entire congregation participates as well as announcements of Church events and programs. Services always conclude with a prayer.”
Thank you!
After looking a bit more on the idealorgbay.uk site, I noticed something that may be interesting to some here, especially former Scientologists who may know one of these two individuals.
There are a total of 16 auctions so far from only two people. 15 of these auctions are paintings by one lady, Gill Bustamante, who operates just outside of East Grinstead. She actually put up 9 of these auctions for her paintings herself, with another 6 auctions of her paintings put up by user “mikegarside” (more on him in a moment). I searched her out and found that she mentions that she is a Scientologist at her website.
“I am a Scientologist and therefore quite familiar with the concept of the spiritual being infinitely more valuable that [sic] the material.” (The CofS website is hyperlinked in the word “Scientologist”)
https://www.gillbustamante.com/about-gill-bustamante-artist
The other individual, user “mikegarside”, I assume is a man by the name of Mike Garside, who I checked out. Apparently, in 1984 he was the public affairs officer at St. Hill, based on an article that year in the East Grinstead Courier reporting on at least 10 Scientologists resigning from the CofS. I have no clue if he is still in that position.
“Mr Mike Garside, public affairs officer at the Scientologists’ UK headquarters at Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead”
http://cosmedia.freewinds.be/media/articles/egc090284.html
If he is still the public affairs officer at St. Hill, he should probably be aware that he misspelled Ms. Bustamante’s last name (he spelled it “Bustamente”) in the description of all 6 of his auctions on her paintings. He might want to correct that for PR purposes.
The only other auction (non-painting) is also from Mike Garside. It offers a personal or business website by a company called Bespoke. I checked their website and can’t find any names of any owners. The bidding starts at £ 300.00 and the description states, “Complexity of the website will reflect the amount of the final winning bid.” For some reason, that kind of open-ended and bid-dependent type of service they will provide struck me as a bit odd since this is a “charity-based” auction that supposedly only benefits the “Ideal Org” program in the UK.
Also, if anyone here is wanting to bid on these items, don’t waste your time. They explicitly state on this site “We only allow people to register if they are in good standing with the Church. We will suspend membership of anyone found to be violating our policies as above.”
I’m not sure if anyone knows more about these two individuals or if anyone is even interested in this stuff I found. I just wanted to put this out there in case anyone might be interested.
I remember Kathy from Flag ,20 years ago.I used to have breakfast occaisionaly with her and her daughter.The first time I met I recall thinking ,what a nice voice she has.
“I feel like the medicine, sunburn and other toxins has(sic) come out of my body” – Sunburn, by its nature is never inside your body… ^^
Idealorgbay.uk currently has one item for sale and does not seem to have sold anything yet. “New life for mortal coil – original oil painting on deep edge canvas 12 x 16 inches” – Reserve has not been met but there are 30 days yet so there is still hope.
So WHO exactly painted these pictures they are trying to foist off on their “flock”?? You can train a Chimpanzee to paint, right?
Well, one of my relatives is, in fact, a chimp, and, he’s a remarkable painter. Far better than those other idiots…
Lawd, ideal org bay? How bout no- bake bake sales, or bidding on a pie for a dance? I’m thinking out those bracelets now.. WWJD? What Would Ron Do! No scratch that, better make it What Would Ron SAY. There was a difference. Haha. Made myself laugh.
Mike, thank you for these funnies, thank you for this blog, and for maintaining it even while you’re busy with production.
There is so much ‘Stupid’ in the second paragraph about the Boston Org that it hurts.
They are celebrating STARTING some drawings? Sorry, “full technical drawings”. As opposed to the crayon art they had before?
Why did they need hard hats and high-visibility wear to launch into fundraising?
And it wasn’t so much your energy literally moving the earth…it was a small scoop of dirt moved with a shovel. In a pre-made sandbox.
So much fail.
I’m pretty sure they’re still using crayons. Anything else would be out ethics…
Edible crayons to boot, just in case they need some substance.
Well of course they are just starting the drawings, see, they have to raise 100,000 to pay to the Landlord office for the architectural drawings which of course are done by SO at pennies an hour. Those could be given to them but COB wants his dough.
That idealorgbay.uk stuff got me interested as well. So I checked out their section on “How to use this site”. A couple of things jumped out at me.
1. PAYMENT:
Payment can be made by Paypal, Cash, or by Cheque made out to “Ideal Orgs”. Cash or cheques can be given to a representative of the Ideal Orgs campaign. All payments are direct donations towards building our Ideal Orgs in the UK.
Is the payment to “Ideal Orgs” (of course it’s made out to them) really considered a “donation” if the buyer is actually getting something (such as artwork) in return? Who gets the Tax Relief in the UK for these quid pro quo transactions (where only the org benefits), the seller or the buyer…..or neither?
2. WARRANTIES and RETURNS
This site is entirely trust-based. By its nature, we can’t offer any form of warranties or guarantees, or any returns. All payments are non-refundable.
That entire statement seems to apply to this entire organization……”by its nature” as well, not just this one site.
Mike do you know what it means to go St. Hill Size?
Having 200 or more staff.
And did you notice?
NO completed auctions, NO current bids, and NOTHING SOLD as of just a minute ago!
( Although, I only saw a handful of items up for sale and the site only just started…I’d figured there might be some enthusiasm on the basis of thousands of Scientologist in the U.K.)
100,000’s of $camologists. Don’t forget the X47 rule.
Maybe their “die hard members” don’t have the money to purchase anything since all the money they supposedly had in their lifetime or earn “working for CO$” is spent on taking more classes to move up the Bridge….
Scientology isn’t a charity in the UK so donations aren’t deductible.
Interesting. They don’t allow tax relief for other religions? I believe the Church of England donations are allowed. Is that the only church in which they allow it in the U.K., the “official” church?
Some orgs get business rates relief (London, for example) which is set by local councils who are suckered into thinking they are beneficial to the community. They do not have full tax exemption, however (ie. corporation tax, stamp duty, gift aid, VAT) as they are not a registered charity. To be granted charitable status an organisation must prove to the Charities Commission that it operates solely for the benefit of the public.
Thanks for the detailed explanation mwesten.
So they say that only people in good standing with the C of $ can make a bid. But what about never-in people, aka wogs? Can they make bids? Mick Roberts, as a never in, maybe you could go make a bid and see if they would accept “a mere wog’s money.” That would be a good experiment to do. Are you up for it?
Intriguing, but no. I’m not sure how that works, but I assume “good standing” means you have to be a Scientologist. As a “wog”, I assume they would only consider me to be a “run-of-the-mill garden-variety humanoid.” Therefore, I doubt I’d be considered in “good standing”. Someone correct me if I’m wrong though.
Also, I’m using my real name and picture and posting critical comments on a couple of “SP sites”, like here. Even though I’m sure that I personally mean nothing to them (they have MUCH bigger fish to fry these days) and even though there are just so many other never-in critics out there, who knows? Maybe they can check a few sites and see that I’ve been very critical about the “church” (I was able to find information on the two people who put up auctions quickly enough, so it shouldn’t be that hard to check on the bidders).
But even if I could, since there are STILL no bids, I’m scared I would actually “win” something. I have literally ZERO desire to provide them with any money so they can do some property renovations for one of their empty buildings. Also, I’m in the US, so paying in cash would be out of the question, and I sure as hell will not give THEM my credit card information to pay for it. Also, I’d have to pay shipping (which I’m sure they’d tack on quite a few extra bucks above cost).
And even if I don’t win an auction, I’m afraid they would take the information from my registration on their site and start sending me all kinds of crap in the mail. I don’t need or want that. I can just check Mike’s site here every Thursday for all of that. 😉
Wow. Tim Melchior has finally learned how to study. Just effing amazing. He’s a Class 8 auditor. Oh wait! That no longer exists. So, I guess he’s nothing.
That is correct – The Cl. VI (SHSBC) and Cl. VIII courses are no longer offered. And they won’t be offered – not until Mr. 4′ 13″ Miscavige finishes fixing all the mistakes Hubbard made. LOL.
Over on Tony’s blog, Aaron Smith-Levin dropped a bomb shell! Regarding going Clear, he said all you have to do is say: I now know that I’ve been mocking up my own reactive mind and I’m not doing that anymore. Presto changeo! You’re now Clear! Of course, if you had done all the levels to go Clear, you might be one pissed off cult member! Who’d have thunk going Clear could be so easy? Just say the magic words…
That’s only the mental definition, the act, the proper use of the verb, of Clearing, is done to one’s bank account. It’s a package deal. As with anything to do with the Scientology Organisation – we’ll tell you when you’re done and what you have now achieved and what you must do again,& again, & again if COB deems it necessary (for reasons far too complex and important for you worry about – trust him – OK?). Now, back in the box chocolate!
I’m in the chocolate box now. Can I eat to my heart’s content?
Are you the Caramel Crunchy Cannibal Delight that’s always still in the box weeks later?
As long as everyone else gets a bit – sure.
I haven’t had a chance to see Smith-Levin’s video yet, and as a never-in, I don’t quite understand the “clear cognition” thing yet and how that might change their minds, but something I’d like to ask a Scientologist is:
If you believe, according to the policies of LRH, that it is acceptable to occasionally lie or conceal some truths about Scientology in order to protect the religion and Keep Scientology Working, do you think that perhaps LRH might have believed that’s acceptable as well and concealed some truths and lied to you and others about quite a bit as it relates to Scientology?
Absolutely, do I believe this, Mick!
I’m a little confused… what does Scientology sell again?
Well…what is it you want to buy?
Hang on a sec… what does $1:52 in loose change get me?
Off-topic: I wanted to acknowledge you on your post a couple of days ago (re: SuMP). I’ve been quite busy, but I did have time to read that. Occasionally you read a post that pulls everything together and puts a bow on it. Outstanding job Yawn.
You’re welcome. I woke up angry at Scientology that morning. I distinctly remember the concept I got listening to Hubbard in an early 50s lecture where he said something like, ‘he has all the cards now (referring to the Q’s Logics & Axioms) and he just shuffles the deck an deals out another piece of tech’. I thought that was pretty clever at the time but as time went on it and the almighty e-meter graced the halls of standardness that card playing became an obsession. It could be suggested with much evidence, Hubbard was the biggest squirrel of all time. He directly defied his own fundamentals with space cootie tech and then had the audacity marketing them as OT levels. Those that did benefit from the earlier, more basic therapy were introverted and overrun to hell and back if they attempted the altered Bridge and the later ones to enter the scene were allowed to step off into the chasm while he was still around and Miscavige came along and simply turned push into shove. Hubbard really blew a good thing, but I guess he had no choice, he lied too much at what his tech could do!
I’m not much bothered to look these days, but the Indie field doesn’t do too well with that “Bridge” either. It’s a trap!
They’ve got a “Bridge” to sell you…..(somewhat literally, but mostly as the idiom would suggest)
Bankruptcy. And they’re very, very good at it. The also sell illusions for 10s of thousands of dollars.
Words…
Vacuums
Apparently they are trying to sell a useless bill of goods….as in the Wizard Of Oz…..”Follow The Yellow Brick Bridge”……to nowhere it seems….i.e…..”you missed a step, you have to start all over: BTW…you need to pay again for these same courses, it’s not our fault you missed a step”….
$cn reminds me of a game I loved when I was a kid…. Chutes and Ladders. Nice flashback!
Very good analogy.
The analogy to The Wizard of Oz is a good one. Not only does the Co$ have the Bridge to Nowhere they also don’t want you to think too much about what the man behind the curtain is really doing.
Nightmares and despair.
Ruin & desperation…
Hi Cathy,
I plan to be at the show on Saturday 8:00 PM sharp. See you.
GMW
How do I join the “Done Sir” Club? I really want to join and I want to get that “done” right away.
Buy me a new car and a new home. Then you can say, “Done, Sir!” See how easy it is?
Doug, there’s Mike Rinder’s version of the “Done Sir” Club. No one is yet a member. Acceptance is contingent upon absolute proof of assistance in getting Miscavige deposed for SOMETHING.
Lulz. Boston Designs graphic, back row, middle guy … flashing the devil horns. Every Satanist from here to Target 2 knows what’s up, now. Very church-y.
(I’m joking, of course. But, am I really?)
Hmm, Golden Age of Tech II for OT 8’s. By the muggle Gavin Potter. Preparatory to the non-existent OT 9 & 10…
My guess is that it is auditor training requirements. Class V+ or maybe the now defunct B.C.
My guess is it’s for the SO’s SO only. See the recruiter today for a special briefing on this new organisational expansion within expansion. What it addresses is way too potent and dangerous to give to mere dilettantes. Show a bit of commitment and responsibility there Thetan! Put an extra billion years on the line and then we’ll give you another billion, maybe two, just to settle you into it on a gradient, honestly, it’s that powerful! Just as the founder always intended and it’s personally tailored for your eternity’s eternity. You see, he’s out there busting a gut pathing the way through, it’s your turn now to follow along, you are one of the chosen few – you lucky spirit you, get to it, make us proud!
I Yawn but L. Con said that SO members are already Oat Teas
Yeah, OT IX and X… I had to LOL at that too. Fuck, it’s been what? Close to 30 years since OT VIII was released? The VIIIs are dropping their bodies all over the bleedin’ place waiting for their shit to be “handled on the next level.”
I guess it’s got so bad that COB decided to start dropping hints about IX and X in order to keep the natives from rioting. I’d guess He supposes He can milk that for another five years or so, and then He can start saying their release is “imminent” for maybe five more before He has to actually conjure something up.
A merciful God will let me live to see that day! The lulz will be epic.
Gus OT 9 & 10 are easy to invent (Hubbard pulled all of them out of his ass anyway).
OT 9 you have people training trying to pretend they are exterior while trying to get reads on some B.S.
OT X is auditing some made up BS that will give you OT perceptions. If it doesn’t work El Con says it is because you need to redo your bridge from Grade 0 to OT 8.
Rinse & repeat.
Meanwhile in Russia in a last few days were several police raids on a diffrent missions in Moscow area and in Ekaterinburg (doors of Moscow Ideal Org were busted several times last year). Charges are fraud, tax evasions, unlicensed medical treatment, unlicensed udacational services, Infringement of rules of the reference with the personal information.
Yeah, they don’t respect Scientology in Russia. Way to go Ruskies!
They invented Vodka didn’t they?
Does a rocking horse have a hickory dick?
But the US does?
Gravitysucks. The US is taking a Darwin Awards approach.
Dave,
The rendering of the Valley Chapel accurately depicts that it is back to being an empty building. Plus two empty parking lots, and no one to preach to.
By the way, does Lou know that your idea of an Ideal Golden Shower is to give a piss-poor performance of releasing some yellow balloons for the Valley Girls, on the day of the LA Marathon?
With the Chargers and the Rams coming to town, those poor cult people in the Valley are too far away to offer them their parking lot.
Cathy S. Is very talented and I’m glad she is telling her story in an entertaining and down to earth way. If Scientology was actually real Cathy would be happily changing the world along with the thousands of other talented creative people who left the cult because it is such and exploitive toxic scam.
Thanks a Cathy. Your bravery is inspiring.
Really wish I could see her show.
The party people in Joburg North have so far funded 2 completely empty ideal morgues within 50 kilometers of each other. And here are same old faces at ANOTHER building! South African scientologists are like a pack of cards – literally there’s 52 of ’em and they get shuffled around from empty building to empty building. To keep up this facade of expansion they will soon have to start issuing wigs and fake noses for the event photographs …
Are you including in your count the apparently abandoned Test Center AKA Life Improvement Centre that they sunk so much money into “ideal” style?
Had a look-see what sort of items were available on that auctions website. At this point all but one of them is an original painting or a print, but the other is a ‘Bespoke Personal or Business Website’. According to the item description, ‘Complexity of the website will reflect the amount of the final winning bid.’
That’s, er, not really how auctions work, is it? They’re meant to be opportunities to bid based on an assessment of the value of the lot, not to anticipate the value changing based on the hammer price. What if I want a £500 website but the auction only makes the opening bid of £300? And how do I know how much effort I can expect for any given amount of money anyway?
Worst of all, the website is to be provided by ‘the builders of IdealOrgBay’, who are apparently also the advertisers of the lot. I mean, it’s nice of them to pledge their time for what they consider to be a good cause, but when the builders of your auctions website don’t understand auctions, it’s not likely to end very well.
Idealorgbay.uk is hillarious. Its all paintings. About 15 or so paintings of babies and horses. Thats it. And not a bid in sight. Definitely worth looking at. Good find mike.
What can I say. I HAD to go to the URL… http://www.idealorgbay.uk/current-auctions/ to see what all the hype is about. What did I find? Truly awful “paintings” of subjects like pink flamingos, peacocks, etc. There are currently 16 items to bid on. But the best thing? Of all the current auctions underway, not a single one has a single bid.
So I think 100 quid a week is a MASSIVE overestimate of how much they will be able to raise on the site.
Scientology is simply tragic. From the outside looking in, all of their efforts are just shockingly poor. But tragic is a better word.
I looked also & it appears there is a “reserve not met” meaning they have a set price in mind…why not list as ” buy now”…the paintings are terrible —although I did like the feathers on the peacock.
What would happen if we all went over there and bid $100,000,000
Not that I am suggesting anyone do that
Why not?
The “LRH tech” on when to ask for money? … uhm … ALL THE TIME …
I can’t help but picture Miscavige yelling “coffee’s for closers only.”
Seriously, that reads like boiler room or used car lot material, as opposed to something from a “religion.”
I’ll bet the dwarf still charges for sugar & cream…
The religion that gives you the spiritual equivalent of steak knives if you impress dear leader.