It’s started already
The panicked phone calls, emails and texts to “confirm” attendance.
I guess the “one stable datum” is “your money is our money.”
How we are going to Clear Pasadena?
I guess the “ideal org” thing hasn’t worked out. Now it’s going to be the SuMP? Riiiight….
A major milestone…
Another fundraising dinner apparently qualifies as a “milestone.” Your “part of those plans” is that you need to give 100% of the money.
The latest accomplishments in the name of creating an OT Civilization…
Absolutely NOTHING to report. Rabies is touring around the entire US it seems trying desperately to drum up some business for Flag.
Wow – a new IAS website
Designed to make it easier for us to get your money.
Our story?
They are having a representative from OSA International – wonder if they are going to brief on all the “good news” about scientology the media has been covering? That story?
Celebrate the fiction
Not even L. Ron Hubbard’s fiction. Maybe some of their sci-fi can be incorporated into OT 9 & 10?
And this is supposed to be a church?
Cambridge is lip syncing for Toronto
How cute. Little failing org is doing an event for big failing org that cannot even get the building they already own renovated 15 years into the “ideal org” program.
Our Wildest Event Yet
Stand back everyone, this is going to get CRAZY…
They have sent in the big gun money grubbers….
What does it take?
Apparently a ceremonial sword.
Hey UK, if there just doesn’t happen to be any such thing as failure — how come you cannot get any of the buildings you already own renovated?
Come celebrate…
The resurrection of the implant that is Jesus Christ on the cross.
How Phoenix is going to Clear its zone…
Again, apparently the “ideal org” was not it. But you NEED to attend this briefing to find out what IS now going to do it. It WILL be your sacrifice somehow.
No date or location?
This is organizational skill never before seen on this planet. They don’t have a date or place to announce and it is already mid-April…
OMG! A message from COB
Wowee zowee. Almost as good as the SO# 1 letters Miami gets all excited about from the 70’s.
How amazing is this. RUN to the phone NOW. Nothing this exciting has happened in Dallas Org since Dear Leader was here in person and yanked our ribbon and it’s been dead since then.
Big News hype!
He is going to talk about what was announced at the March 13th event? That’s big news??
Graduation hype
Another “ideal org” that is so proud of completing anyone they send out a notification to come to graduation because two staff co-audited their objectives? Obviously this is BIG news in a place where nothing happens…
What the hell is this?
Danish whales in the UK to try and get money? For UK? For Denmark?
And just what is “royal attire”? A crown and scepter?
The Ravenswood is a hotel with 33 rooms set on 20 acres. Is it a Scientology-run place, or are they simply renting part of if?
http://www.theravenswood.co.uk/
Love the ENTERTAINTMENT in Cambridge. You know it’s good if they put the TAINT in entertainment.
Why do all scientology newsletters and video propoganda have such an early-nineties, late night 1-800 self-help paid advertisement “feel” to them. Did they hire some guy who used to work on those old ads? Did they hire the same musicians to blare the motivational soundtracks in the scientology videos? It is lame-o, TO THE EX-TREEEEEM! (90’s dorito’s ad)
Is this caliber of “talent” going to produce the content of the upcoming, exciting scientology channel?
Whoo boy, this should be good!
WAYC
I’ve been watching some of the $cn promos and propaganda on youtube lately (just out of curiosity) and I can’t get past the 1st minute or 2 before I have to stop it, I fell that I’m going to pull out what little hair I have left on my head or loose my lunch. I’m sure that part of it is due to knowing where these videos come from and/or how horrible they are, production quality wise. I can’t imagine a room full (well maybe not full) of sheeple being able to sit through one of these, much less many of them. I’m sure the training videos are of the same or worse quality. How is it these sheeple don’t run for the hills after the first 10 minutes, I know I’d be just a fading memory.
Rob
WYAC – my sentiments exactly. Only I tend to think they look like a cross between cheesy down-level marketing conferences (think Amway), where people earn awards named for precious gems and metals (Diamond! Platinum! Sapphire!) and those televised mega-church specials where everyone looks like a fresh-scrubbed Disney extra or a Stepford clone. There is definitely an anachronistic quality to them, the way you feel when you watch old Gunsmoke reruns on cable and the cast is dressed in polyester “western” outfits and have 1960’s hair and make-up. A huge feeling of inauthenticity, of looking on a stage set, of peering into an alternate universe. I also get a sense of watching space aliens, who basically learned Earth’s language and customs from watching those same reruns from outer space, reenact our culture. Very Velveeta, if you ask me. Or hot-house tomatoes. Synthetic. And it is surprising given how many people in Hollywood have been recruited or would be available to them versus other “religious” organizations. The video and print artwork always looks “off” in some ways – like Soviet Bloc soundtracks, Hong Kong disco music, or South American game shows. They may represent another culture somewhere else, but I cannot see anything in them that would appeal to a United States aesthetic. I know that sounds harsh, but for sales collateral, – and that’s what they are – they really miss the mark and come off as in-house productions (which rarely ever go well, even for big corporations). However, that being said, it might be best that is how they seem. It might be a factor in helping keep the numbers low. Which is a good thing. They are dangerous enough without having true mass appeal.
Cecybeans, holy ChXXXt , you have a way with words that makes me think we are connected, if not spiritually, than as brothers in arms (or sisters in arms).
Would someone be kind enough to enlighten me as to what “Royal” attire would be for those invited who, presumably, are not royals?
Mike, after posting this question I just scrolled back up to ensure that the answer to what is royal attire was not already given, and saw that you already asked the same thing. “What the hell is this?”…”Just what is royal attire anyway? A crown and a sceptor?” Cracking up, here; thanks Mike!
Wait, the honored guests are Danish Royalty, so maybe part of their Royal Attire will be those Old Norse helmets, you know, with horns, studded with jewels…OMG, I’m dying here!
As a never in and a sort of Catholic I have to say it bothers me when non-Christian “religions” use Easter as some sort of fun attraction to gather people. I mean Scientologists have a slur for us by calling us wogs. Then they lie and say you can be a Scientologist and anything else you want. And then they use one of the most holiest days in Christendom to try to get people to come to their events. I hate that.
My thoughts exactly! Perfectly said.
If it’s Scientology, bad taste is guaranteed.
I agree. To use Easter like that is a sad thing. It is my favourite Christain holiday and it has so much meaning to our family. What a bunch of money hungry pigs these scientologists are.
Ditto “MIS” & CTM”……
WHAT “excuse” does CO$ use for an “Easter Egg Hunt”…..ok, so the Bible does NOT mention the Easter Bunny……I GET that…..it seems that the word Easter is part of the “Christian religion” & the death and rising of Jesus…….and the Bible also states that the Earth was created by God………and NO mention of Xenu,space aliens shoved down a volcano and blown apart….or of any “alien bodies inhabiting human bodies that we need to basically get rid of and “clear the planet”?
Seems to me if the planet is to be “cleared” it certainly will NOT be done thru Scientology…
“
Yes, Gemma Harris and John Alex Wood can tell you all about that …
The secularization of Christian holidays doesn’t “bother” me, per se although I do think it’s tacky. I’m a non-believer so don’t have any skin in that game, although I will remark that marketers and businesses don’t make light of Passover or Ramadan in the same way. Christianity is the majority religion in the U.S. and U.K., but why should that mean its traditions and beliefs are up for grabs?
Eostre was originally a pagan festival, appropriated and celebrated by early Christians as a way to gain converts. The Co$ can celebrate it as it sees fit. You do not have a monopoly on this weekend!
The Church of Scientology PR Bullshit machine is polished at the art of one thing…pretending that it’s internal sales pitches has never been heard or seen before. Scientology excels in insulting the intelligence of every single Scientologist on the planet but no one will admit it for fear of being singled out. Sick puppies one and all.
Seems to me like Scientology has pickled itself. It sits like a jar of preserves in the back of the pantry that no one wants to open. It kind of looks good through all the accumulated dust, all nice and shinny like but you just know how stale and crappy it’ll taste if you open the jar.
I do wait with anticipation for SuMP to strut it’s stuff though. The viewing field is strewn with professional critics, that is, everyone with a TV or media screen is a critic in waiting. Go on Davy, let’s see you shout out “action” through you megaphone and back up these flyers with talking pictures. My prediction is he’ll micromanage the whole thing and rerun the 1980s but in stylized flashy event style with lots of sparkle, big columns and stuff like smiling face after face beaming through the screen with their eyes focused on the tele-prompter telling you how amazing Scientology is. Can’t wait for the fun to start. The Sunday sermon hour should be a real hoot! Too much to ask for live viewer questions I suppose, the whole thing will be vetted within an inch of it’s life.
Talking pictures, lol.
LOL! Yes, it IS cute, little failing org doing an event for BIG failing org. As cute as a basket of baby rattlesnakes. But the big news is the 67th Die-of-ethics anniversary! That’s three generations of gains and wins! 67 years of the world’s confusion being absorbed “on one stable datum”!
Hey wait a minute! Where does all that confusion go after it is absorbed? Our man on the street seems to think it is given a WTH booklet and immediately released upon the counting of stats.
the book one anniversary is 13 May??? All these years, I thought it was 5 May. Must be early-onset Alzheimer’s or something.
May 9th
Poor Mr Cantwell. What a negative name!
Easter – which is a celebration of Jesus Christ – the Son of GOD – Rising from the DEAD
The Scientology Organization – asks you to come Celebrate EASTER
Scientology ??? The Religious CULT where you pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn and agree that Jesus Christ is an IMPLANT – flat lined into your mind – by the Evil Psychs.
LOL
In New Mexico’s letter, I not only expect you to attend, but “to name out 2 others you can ensure will come as well”
I haven’t heard of a friendlier invite since the McCarthy hearings. So much more effecient to name names first.
Funny! That stuck out for me, as well.
Pretty soon all their gatherings will be announced BYORM
(Bringyourownrawmeat)
Butt hay, if you get three or more other “guests” to show up, then you’re excused from attending a future event of your choice.
Just imagine: no sec checking, no ethics cycle, no getting cornered by the reges…why, it’s like having a $cn “get out of jail free card”!
Threats. It’s not just for the mafia anymore!
Having lived through the McCarthy hearings, I really had a good laugh on that comment! And wasn’t that about the time that a certain other blowhard began his campaign of screwing over his own private congregation?
Bring 2 along, a sure way to end 2 friendships……quickly
What? “Me, myself and I ” don’t count as 3 people attending…….then there’s always those pesky little body thetans….WHAT we can’t count them either….scheeezz….Not Fair!
If ‘taint entertainment it must be entertaintment!
Ain’t!!! LOL
Those “Powering Up” guys look like they each sold 2.5 used cars in the first quarter. They had to throw in together to reach the magic number 5.
Just an observation.
Trust scientology to massively over do it, st hill apparently hiding 10,000 eggs! For the small handful of children likely to make it there surely this is slightly over the top?
That Royal Ravenswood event practically says ‘we will be after your money’ mind you its no different to the other flyers on display here in that respect, it just stands out that bit more.
I keep thinking that a vast number of those will not be found by the children. Nor remembered by the staff who hid them so well…and then the sour smell which begins to permeate the air around the castle! LOL
Each time I read “the funnies” I can’t help thinking:
“But I don’t want to be a part of a ‘clear civilization’! ”
“Hey kids, let’s put put on a show!”
And finally, their ‘sales pitch’ reminds me of Publishers Clearing House.
“Each time I read ‘the funnies’ I can’t help thinking:”
I AM SO GLAD I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT.
Absolutely! And I’ll even reverse that and say that shit is done with me – same thing whichever way you look at Scientology- it poisons both ends of anything it touches.
???
I know, huh! I’ll bet your life seems incredible now, doesn’t it Mary! The difference from being in the cult, and then leaving. Woo Hoo! Good on you, girl!
Me too, McCarran. Each time. If only because there is no dignity in any of it. Its all so – embarrassing.
Hee Hee Hee, you are probably speaking for thousands of others, like yourself, who have left the “church”, yet who Miscavige still proclaims to be active members of the world’s “fastest growing religion”.
He sips his own sugar-powdered, fruit-flavored beverage, that one.
Amen, McCarran!
Move up in status….become a Wog.
ROTFLMAO!!! Whew! Now that’s some funny shit! Great post, Zola!
Each child’s plastic Easter Egg will contain a folded up financial donation request envelope…along with a jellybean or two from the $1 store………chocolate is too expensive
“All kids invited!”
(Grown ups optional)
I guess they don’t want the parents around when they’re putting the squeeze on their kids to join the SO. Now that’s what I call a wonderful Easter! Chocolate bunnies while they measure the kids for their new uniforms. Awwwwwwww……
I’ll never look at an Easter egg the same way as I use to now.
It is now easier to make a donation to the IAS on their new website???? I am so stoked!!
Damn! Me too, Doug! This will make it much easier for us to give money to the cult! How exciting!
And whatever amount you give, I plan to top. You may beat me in a surfing contest, but not this.
If you win, you will be awarded the Barium Triton Meritorious Oceanus trophy.
Maybe they can have computerised files?
Scientology is always thinking about how to ease the burden of the members. So nice of them to make donations easier.
Douchebags.
Another thought: the Stain Hill Easter egg hunt ought to be great for the kids that actually attend. There will be 10,000 Easter eggs hidden. If you have 20 kids show up, that means each kid goes home with 500 Easter eggs. That’s probably 20x what I got when I was a kid…
The kids will have to fight it out with the hungry Sea bOrg. No eggs for you, sez the egg Nazi…
John P – Note the announcement says “10,000 eggs to find” That includes the huge ant’s nest with thousands of ant eggs the organizer found in the shrubbery while stashing one of the easter eggs in the roots of a rhododenron.
Yeah, but don’t you think in true exaggerated Cof$ style, they are lying and exaggerating about the number of eggs at the hunt?
Naw, 10,000 is their magic figure they throw around willy nilly to impress the not quite bright. It must be a survey answer from the 70s or a Hubbard research formula he “discovered” while he sat in steel room floating around in the heat, like 10,000 through SNOTs is going to impact on human affairs, same bullshit, new target.
When you take a real close look at Scientology as it is portrayed by those that are members of it but have never actually done it, like the SO and staff, they believe wholeheartedly in magic! Those that have actually done it aren’t members of it anymore and no longer believe that Scientology ever could do any form of magic except maybe to steal money for nothing in return. Black magic does has some workability, Scientology proves it with every donation they get!
Another quick numbers dive to think about the folly of the Albuquerque org. One bit of good news: the numbers aren’t as ludicrously bad as the Battle Creek org, where there are approximately FOUR Scientologists in the Battle Creek area, the 300th largest metropolitan statistical area in the US.
However, the numbers don’t look good for Albuquerque. Assuming 9,000 Scientology public in the US out of a 316 million population and applying that ratio to the 1.15 million population of the Albuquerque metro area, you get a total of about 60 Scientologists. The number is probably lower just because Scientology was never big there, so there’s not a lot of oldsters rooting for an Ideal Org.
So why are the numbers so bad there? Let’s assume they want to raise 10 million for the Ideal Org. That’s $160,000 per actual Scientologist out there. The average price of a house in Albuquerque is $185,000. So basically every Scientologist is expected to donate enough money to buy a house. It’s hard to imagine that they’ll get one of the big national whales (Duggan, Feshbachs, Cardones, Nancy Cartwright) to kick in a few million to jumpstart this effort.
Just sad.
Hey that $160,000 donation isn’t that bad when you are helping to clear the planet to improve this sector of the universe. Think about it… when you cut that $160,000 check, LRH, who is currently whizzing around Saturn’s bands, will be pleased!
Or it is all a pile of steaming horseshit.
It’s one of the two options, steaming horseshit, or pleasing LRH… I’ll leave all of you intelligent people to decide which option is more reasonable.
At least steaming horseshit has a use: fertilizer. And someday those stainless steel shells and titanium plates will become toasters and bicycles.
OOOWARGH!
Laugh it up, fuzzball !
Nah, just kidding… punch it, Chewie, we’re going to hyperspace….. with LRH (hahaha yeah right).
John, I was wondering similar thoughts but on monthly basis..(this is totally made up numbers, but…) say there’s 300 CoS bldgs, approx. 55,000 sq feet. Each. Utilities, rent, etc each month = $1,000,000. Which means that each 10,000 members must come up with = $1,000 per person each month… just to keep a bldg running..this doesn’t include fund raising for new orgs, remodeled orgs, buying bldg, buying groceries for newbies in Africa, whatever…
I was just curious how much CoS members must “contribute”…just for existing buildings?
If someone had an estimate of monthly operating costs ….well, coupled with all this other “fund raising” stuff….then the pressure to keep “donating” must be incredibly awful. How long until hundreds of CoS ppl just collapse & quit due to economical reasons & nothing else….? Would be soon, IMHO…
Thank you for reading my long winded post.
B
Sad for them, maybe. Joyful for me.
AARROOUGH!
John, from the numbers I’ve seen, a couple of “ideal” orgs have been built in cities where the active membership is around 60 to 80, which may actually be pretty typical – and I’ve come up with that same figure of around $150,000 average contribution. I don’t know how many members really contributed close to that numerical average, I think that around 10 years ago they were able to get building campaigns off the ground with major contributions from smaller numbers of members of means including those willing to empty their retirement accounts, and now they are relying on real whales and funds from management to slowly finish off enough of the stalled projects to keep up the illusion of “expansion.”
As I’ve noted before, with those sort of low membership numbers and large buildings, the local org approaches having as much space per person, as their members have in residential living space – around 650 square feet per person. And many members probably have in fact given up on ever owning a home, or have so heavily mortgaged their residences that they will never really have any ownership equity, in order to give money to Scientology including for the building campaigns.
Hubbard never had any intention to free anyone. Even if he could have produced an exteriorized
thetan, the relentless quest for your money would not end. If Hubbard ever had the intention to free
people, he would have made greater progress with his “tech”.
Thus Anti-Cult Center for a name of a building in the re-vitalized Clearwater will not work. It needs to be
something like Religious Freedom Center. I would like to get the sign situated so that Cruise and Travolta can see it often.
Yes, the RFC…that has a very nice ring to it. The Center would definitely need a “Family Unity” department, and Clearwater is also the perfect town to start a “Make tax-exempt charitable religious organizations’ finances transparent again” campaign too!
Harpoona,
Do you think I could get away with “Center for Religious Hypocrisy”
or “Center for Religious Mendacity”?
That is a better description of Scientology,
Not without being sued for your boxer shorts! I’d like to start a non-profit there in Clamwater which is dedicated to re-homing exorcised BTs. These voiceless cult casualties are thetans too and it’s a violation of their civil rights to be evicted from their homes without due process or providing services to help them adjust to their new freedom.
$cn has exorcised these poor sub-human thetans willy-nilly for far too long, like they were litter to be recklessly tossed to edge of the highway by super-powered thetans as they race up the bridge to Total FreeDumb. $cn’s spiritual caste system has made these poor confused disembodied thetans into the equivalent of the Hindu religion’s Dalit, or Untouchable, caste for far too long and that needs to stop RIGHT NOW!
BTs never have a nice day and it’s high time we held the cult responsible for turning all these spiritually disabled beings loose in the theta universe, where there’s absolutely nothing to stop them from just reflexively glomming onto another body – like yours or mine – while BT-free Scilons selfishly enjoy their newly re-acquired native state, god-like abilities!
Yep. With Hubbard, it was all about the money…
George, I think you’re right about that. I suspect that Hubbard might have considered that a very small number of “big beings” might arise to join in playing the game at his level – and that Miscavige, considers himself one of those. But really what he probably wanted, was to make more able minions to aid in his quest for power and wealth, not to truly free his followers. I sometimes now think of him like Saruman in the Lord of the Rings, overseeing the creation of his army of Uruks – a more able breed of Orcs.
I’m going to ponder ideas for names for your operation. “Religious freedom” is a phrase that I think carries baggage from its use by the Christian right, though perhaps it’s the best there is – and might indeed help attract some worthy allies from among Christians.
In a discussion yesterday about Tony Ortega’s article on the Cleawater business owner who’s apparently been “safepointed,” I pointed out that what is really needed is some professional whitepapers to give to businesses and organizations that Scientology is trying to safepoint, to expose the nature of the organization and its practices is ways that are non-sensational but will have the most impact with that sort of target audience. It seems to me, an effort like that might be right along the lines of what you are seeking to do.
Oh, dear. Cambridge has “lip singers” as entertainment? As opposed to nose whistlers and butt burpers, I guess.
Pasadena has about 20 words of heading text on their flyer and still nobody caught “crown-ups”.
Saint Hill surely isn’t giving all that away for free, right? The activities actually sound appealing for someone with kids.
I always enjoyed it when the Nose Whistlers & the Butt Burpers came to town. Somehow it reminded me of Scientology…
To be exact, they are the “entertainTment”. How Freudian.
They are STILL trying to figure out how to “clear” people? Stupid scamologists. Just do as L. Con wrote and let them know it is all make believe and voilà, a “clear”.
And that’s why I’m a Jedi Night! Damn! I keep doing that! I mean, Jedi Knight! It’s all make believe! There’s no seriousness about it! Just pure, clean fun! Right, Yoda?
Yeah, well… three feet back of my head is Clear, 4 feet is OT, 5 feet OMG! Can’t go there… too scary, don’t want to fry the asshole who lives next door with my thoughts of him (then again…)
They sound so DESPERATE!!!
I just had Jehovah’s witnesses at my door 5 minutes ago ,I opened my door about 1 inch so my dog wouldn’t get out she’s shoving a watchtower paper through the crack lol,I asked 3 time’s is that a watchtower? Finally a yes, I said I’m an apostate she took it back,
Mike thank you for what you’re doing,every day you’re making a difference in someone’s life,keep it going,you’re a clever man the way you do things I’m very proud of you!!!!
Thats a good one. I had a friend who opened the door to some JWs. He told them he would be happy to sit down and talk when he got back from dropping his daughter off at dance lessons and picking up beer and cigarettes. They never darkened his door ever again!
Yep! Me too, Shelley. Got a knock on the door. Opened it, and in an instant, she was shoving a piece of paper at me. I asked if they were ‘Publishers.’ (One of names for Jehovah’s Witnesses). When they said, “yes,”. I politely said no thanks.
When they’re coming out in force, it can mean that, once again, the end is near, in their opinion. But, the end has been near, for them, for almost 100 years.
Every year the JWs come from near and far and they “rent” the Mohegan Sun Arena for their Friday and Saturday yearly”jamboree”. They all come dressed in their “Sunday Best”, & the arena & the car parking lot is jammed packed with them…..tying up traffic on some of the major roads. Once in a while they knock on the door to try and given us their hand outs, or leave them in the “crack in the door” since they cannot leave them in the mailbox any longer.
.
I would have invited the JW in with open arms…..and given her/him the “best seat in the house”.
Then I would have .popped in an LRon DVD, handed her a plate of rice and beans in her one hand and then in her other hand……the infamous Dianetics book saying:
If YOU read THIS….I will read THAT (The Watch Tower)…….
That certainly would scared the piss and vinegar out of her and the JW’s would never come visit you again!
The Hubbard video would have scared the shit out of them! Probably a little out gradient…
That’s true . Jehovah’s Witnesses are generally turned off by anyone with bad teeth.