What does your level of survival depend on?
Why not ask Sandy Wilhere.
A Class XII C/S who didn’t agree with “GAT” and was relegated to be a low level minion — now the RSVP person for these bigshots (?)
Late breaking news
They ARE going St Hill size! Really? Why didnt that happen when they became “ideal”? It guarantees 10X expansion according to their own promo… 5 years later and they’re STILL not SH Size?
Oscars?
Normally they give YOU something? Can you imagine if people showed up to the Oscars and they were expected to hand over cash?
Mr. Int Finance Policeman
I bet Brittany has no clue who this guy is.
Another scientology front?
Or just ignorant of what they are involving themselves with?
Or they don’t care?
Fastest “Done Sir” Ever?
WTF are they talking about…
All I know is they want your money. These things are becoming like tupperware parties with “world class entertainment”…
But they live just down the street from me, perhaps I should pop in. I did get an invitation.
Well, that’s odd…
This is a “success” story for Creating a Successful Marriage from someone who is NOT married! They must be really hard up for “successes”…
Next they will have a success from the “How to Make Money” course “I am planning to make some money…?”
Freedom Fighters Unite!
Bobby Wiggins is an odd choice. He’s not fighting — he’s just trying to collect commissions.
World Class Entertainment perhaps?
Would not want to miss this one.
New Orders of Magnitude…
Of hype. Haven’t seen them tackling anything in my neighborhood. And I live in the midst of the greatest concentration of scientologists in the world.
Wonder how it’s looking in Wyoming? Or Maine? North Carolina?
They’re not even close…
There would be 1700 missions. They have shrunk to less than 300.
Why are they promoting this? It’s idiocy.
75 million words…
…and every one of them a gem of genius. Right?
You do know the volume of words is not a reflection on the value of those words? By this standard the guy on Hollywood Blvd pushing the shopping cart and talking to himself full time is an Einstein.
Monumental. Must-see.
Where have we heard that before?
Which of these describes you?
They missed a category. “Absolutely none of the above.”
Orlando is opening in 2 months…
With 25% of the staff they need, no auditors or supervisors. But hell, their file folders will be there and they will be IDEAL!
Wait, I thought you just said…
If the org is going to be DONE in 2 months (and I believe that as the timing will be such that Miscavige can show it at Maiden Voyage) why are they still fundraising?
Wake up people. Ideal orgs are being done now whether you hand over the money or not… It’s the ONLY thing Miscavige has going on.
Hyperventilating…
Someone get Charlie a brown paper bag before he expires.
Does he actually think anyone buys this?
Told you Miscavige is paying…
Another org with virtually no staff, no field, they have NOT raised the funds to do this. And they are “going ideal” in time for him to be able to show it at March 13th event.
Anyone who is still handing over money for these ideal orgs is brain dead.
Wait, I thought it was Silicon Valley?
All the other hype is that Silicon Valley org is going to be ideal and that will make clearing Northern California a reality. Stevens Creek is ALREADY “ideal”???
Something is not adding up here…
Hey you tech nerds…
You don’t have to give a dime because it won’t make any difference. It’s going to happen anyway.
I’m ready…
For no pay. Working 80 hours a week. Accomplishing nothing, but convincing myself I am saving mankind.
This is where LRH mapped the route to OT 1 and OT II…
But truth be told, we don’t even use that OT I any more, so it’s not really that big a deal is it?
Valley will try ANYTHING to get anyone to set foot inside its new mausoleum
Sounds like the guy that sits at the entrance of WalMart.
I’m ready…
Join Sidney staff and get a penguin outfit LOL LOL
Oders of magnitude. Yeah: 10 to the minus 3 is an order of maginitude I suppose is most fitting. The only positive order of magnitude stat they’ve got is number of members departing.
Excuse my aside here; I just finished watching Millennium, Series 2 Episode 9 – Jose Chung’s Doomsday Defence from 1997 and it’s a rather satirical dig at $camology. If you haven’t seen it it’s worth a look.
Talk about being totally delusional , Do they honestly believe this guff , I,d rather follow brian’s shoe or gord in Monty Python’s ” Life of Brian ” .
STOP THE PRESSES, according to the CF Update they now have TABS TO PRINT NAMES ON. Knowing how difficult it is to get TABS, Mike might as well shut this blog down because clearly only beings (OT VIII) with supernatural talents were able to pull off this monumental accomplishment. This is such a Herculean Feat (and it only took 1000 fund raisers), no wonder this important upbeat info was included on the flyer.
Is there an actual number associated with “St Hill Size”? Or is it just generic like “as big as a barn”?
On the Marriage One – Creating on the relationship. HUH??? Is that like Random-ing words together? Or False Language-ing to people? Lron or treating at Halloween? Hubbarding someones pocket?
Seriously? CF now has file tabs, to print names on? Well! Obviously, they’re not fooling around anymore. They’re going to clear the planet, alright. No more doubt about that.
Does anyone know who this Ferretti person is? I looked him up and I must say that I’m really, really not impressed by his singing.
https://youtu.be/MVXsqfsRoBw
Cosimo Sherman 2nd generation scientologist son of Sciebots Jeannie and Eric Sherman. A totally clueless boy.
Jeannie and Eric. Last I knew they were scraping every dollar to get Eric his 6 mo trips to FSO. That was 10 years ago. Both very proud of their sons but not dumb. I bet both UTR by now especially Jeannie (sister of Pat Parodie who I haven’t seen much from). I hope anyway ~ old friends 🙁
No comment today, just a question for Mr. David Miscavige…
WHERE’s SHELLEY?
To: WhatAreYourCrimes
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: your question about my wife
YOU DON’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO ASK THAT QUESTION! YOU AND LEAH ANNOY ME TO NO END! I HEREBY SENTENCE BOTH OF YOU TO THE RPF FOR ALL ETERNITY! AND THAT GOES FOR RINDER, TOO!
ML
Dave
Alcoboy… ha ha, a perfect and fitting moniker!
Hey, Dwarf, here’s a song for ya bad self from your Sea Org Slaves. With apologies to Antonio Carlos Jobim.
Small and tan and mean and mean and ugly
The guy from Int Base CA goes walking
And when He passes, the Sea Org lasses go
“Ugh”
When He walks its like a Nazi
With RTC His personal Stazi
So when He passes, each guy he passes goes
“Ugh”
Oh, how they watch Him so madly
How can they tell Him they hate Him?
Yes, they would leave Sea Org gladly
And each day when they think He can’t see
They dream and they plan to get free,
Small and tan and mean and ugly
The guy from Int Base CA goes walking
And when he passes they smile
And plan to get free…
They want to be free…
They need to be free…
My Postulate for these men and women.
The Boston Ideal Org flyer quietly mentions a requested donation for that “celebrity” buffet. You’re expected to pay money to meet a Scientology quota AND for the food that’s supposed to convince you to show up?
Least it’s not a potluck.
Yes, that would be out-exchange.
Mike ,Have you seen this?
http://www.lronhubbardrising.com
I had not. Totally wacky. Anyone that buys this bs deserves whatever they get taken for.
Mike, I agree. I thought that when Sea Org members died (oops, sorry, I mean dropped their bodies), they went somewhere to rest for twenty years before coming back. Can anyone clarify this for me? I mean, if what I just said is true, how can this guy be a reincarnated LRH?
Are you really trying to make sense of anything about this?
Hee hee, that site is delicious!
This is the BEST thing!
OK I pulled this right from the site… So AWESOME!
“That does not mean that the standard body of Dianetics and Scientology is any fashion no longer relevant, it is one of the few things on planet Earth that has stood the test of time. For it to survive though, it needs to be stream-lined in order to keep pace with the society in which we live in. Does anyone honestly think that one will be sitting at a typewriter and taking mimeographed copies in another 20 years? Paper will more than likely no longer be in widespread use at that time – even when using the bathroom.
I am currently in the process of doing exactly that at the moment”
Just seeking information and wondering if anybody had any
Mike: “Are you really trying to make sense of anything about this?”
Isn’t that what we all did after hearing about scientology and not leaving after the first few minutes?
Believe it or not, there is a interview done for those who make this claim. The guy who I know is hatted to do the interview is out of the WDC org. Two staff must be present however.
It has to be done in front of one of those wall-mounted mics they have in the Org. auditing and ethics rooms, probably to be recorded.
LOL! Check the e-mailaddress on that site.
There is someone over at the Underground Bunker who goes by thetastatic.
Coincidence? I think not…. 😛
So probably satire.
Not satire unfortunately. Someone posted a picture of the guy that put together this site. He has an infinity symbol tattoo’d on his forehead and apparently changed his name to L. Ron Hubbard!
Why did the name ‘Charles Manson’ just pop into my head?
I wondered if someone would have the balls to try this…
I was wondering when someone would finally claim this. How would DM handle these claims? How could it be disproved?
I can tell you it’s phony because I am the reincarnation of LRH. I just didn’t feel like disclosing it yet. Now I have no choice! Curses!
Just looked at it, Chris. Whoa!
OMG, that website is a real hoot!
If LRH came back for real Miscavige would fair game him with attack websites and PI’s
Besides all that crappola,…..since LRH would be “reborn into a new body”….how the HELL would anyone recognize him? He’d have different parents & would more than likely not look the same, so what would he do….stroll into FLAG & say:
LRH: Hey, I’m bbbaaacccckkkkk”……..
Them: Who the Hell are YOU?
LRH: It’s ME….you know….”Mr BIG….LRH”.
Them: Yeah…suuurrreeee……
LRH: No, really, it’s ME…..I have my new body…..where’s my Thom McCann’s & cigarettes
Them: SECURITY, SECURITY…get this friggin crazy assed Bozo OUT of here…..
It is really embarrassing to see them beg for money but that is their MO. Actually the whole thing really sickens me. Someone called it high faluting pan handling. These cult members are seriously ill or just plain stupid. Go after Miscavige and make him return your money. The celebrities affiliated with this cult certainly are disgusting human beings to allow the less fortunate parishioners to be robbed of the very little they have and sit by while children are abused. Everyone should boycott their projects. Maybe they will get the hint.
Scientology has a stuck flow on “must be contributed to”. (For OSA your reference is “The Havingness Scale.)
Must not be contributed to. Whoa! I just had a Wognition! Not contributing is much better. So… I don’t ever have to contribute to Scientology! Wow! Drinks are on me!
What! no ‘Chan the Super OT Man’ this week?
Maybe he really did answer the question, “why are you here?” and AS-IS’d himself.
Whoa! That’s pretty heavy. But, I’m here because I chose to be here.And if Changan can AS IS himself, I encourage him to carry on.
Instead of using the F-word how about “Go As Is yourself”? or “As Is you!”…whattya think?
Aqua, that is perfect.
Works for me.
I like it!
The Knowingnesses are strong with this one.
Wow! Finally someone finally found a use for Scio babble. You’ve alter-is’d me Aqua. Well done that girl!
🙂 Yawn.
“As-Is you” Funny, Aquamarine!
🙂
That’s exactly what I do when I invite people to my home… promise world class entertainment and dinner, then ask for donations. That’s how to lose your friends at whole new orders of magnitude. ?
That’s some high class panhandlin.
I don’t mind donating flowers.
Only cash, please.
Damn! Alright, how much do you want?
All you’ve got! Remember, this is Scientology!
Wow, how did you know that I am a woman who just needs reassurance? Those are some fabulous superpowers. 😉
That’s a mighty odd photo for the Saint Hill flyer. What are we supposed to think about it?
That St Hill pic is a sign of today’s Scientology. First, note the many font changes – this says ‘style’ to those with none. Then note how the PC (Paying Customer) is advancing With Purpose toward the Regge desk, but behind him his Other is holding back, eyes downcast, desolate because this jaunt is costing them a second mortgage they can’t afford.
Meanwhile, down the hall, the designers cleverly put a guy in a Mike the Neanderthal Scary SP Halloween Mask (tm, RTC). He looks like he’s pulling something from his pocket. Quick, call the bobbies! Tweet! TWEEEEET!
That all Scientologists are insane? (Not the river)
Everybody looks kind of frumpy and a bit suppressed.
Regarding “The Show That Must Not be Named” I am thinking:
The Dog and Pony Show
Going Clear
Scientology and the Aftermath
The Ranch
Feel free to add your titles to the list!
The Master, South Park “Trapped in the Closet,” Angry Gay Pope, so many to choose from…
How Scientology is Shrinking Like a Motherfucker.
Scientology! The Laughing Stock of Cultdome.
How I Joined Scientology & Got Laid a couple of Times.
Scientology! It Really Should Be Banned.
Hey!! I took a shot!
If you want your book to sell you’ve gotta spice up. Try always to work the word “sex” into the title.. Alliteration can help too.
SEX And The CHURCH of SCIENTOLOGY.
ETHICS OFFICER – What I Did For Love In The Church Of Scientology
SEX In CENTRAL FILES – Steel Cabinet Secrets of Scientology’s Notorious “Division Two”.
STAFF SLAVES – Spying and Staying Alive In The Church Of Scientology”.
You know, this is fun. If I ever sell my business there might be a future for me at the Enquirer.
A few More Titles:
1) The Bridge To Nowhere
2) How To Give Up Your Personal Freedom
3) Rid Yourself Of Your Finances In Just A Few Classes
4) Give Away Your Children In One Easy Step
5) How To Screw Over the IRS & Get Away With it
6) Be In Debt Forever In Just A Few Steps
7) How To Work 16 Hour Days & Get Paid Peanuts
8) Xenu Speak (the other language)
9) Your Next Life After Clearing The Planet
10) Family Disconnect Made Easy
11) Feel Empowered to Lose Your Mind
12) Brainwashing, The New Cult Speak
LOL I’ve never been a Scientologist but that list really matches my views from being on the outside looking in.
+1! Great post! Well done Balletlady!
Thank you OSD, from what I’ve seen, heard, read…I could add a lot more!
13) Hide your wife in plain sight
14) Off Shore Bank Accounts Really Can Work
Scientologists really love exclamation points.
It’s the little dots at the bottom that really gets ’em all warm & fuzzy!
Fuck me! I love exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!! They make me happy!!!!!!!!
… but they hate semi-colons, isn’t that right l’il Dave?
Frankly, to me, it looks like Scientology is like a “drowning man” . . .
They are desperately trying to reach out and grab anything they can to try to keep from “going under” and are willing to take someone with them, as long as they “survive” . . .
Time to “Deep Six” Miscavige and send him to “Davy Jones Locker” ( not the “Monkee” – LOL ! )
Dave F.
This is the playbook of deceivers. This Ted talk gives us a look into the techniques we are up against in this new digital world. Scientology uses these techniques in spades. All of these Scientology advertisings are explained in this Ted talk. It’s a must see. It’s brief.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-bYAQ-ZZtEU
Nice reference Brian.
Yo Dave,
Here’s the plan good buddy. Everyone who is anyone will get an extra commendation when they do a live video of their success at the completion of any major course or auditing. Then You get to put those up on Your SuMP TV thingy.
Then You can pay Google a huge amount of money (preferably under the table and not traceable) to have them link any bad Pee Are back to those wonnerful gushing accounts of Yer Bull Puckey.
And don’t forget to have yer Ohhh Tea’s do some of their super powerz stuff ………. hell Dave, do a video of one of yer Oh Tea Ates finding a parking place an stuff like dat.Public will flood yer orgys then!
To: Newcomer
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: your brilliant idea.
Awesome! Really theta! We need to get you into the Sea Org at once! That way I can be the one who is in control of that brilliant mind of yours!
ML
Dave
What happens if they ever get their hands on all the money in the world? What next?
We’re totally fucked. And not in a good way.
Now just wait a darn minute … You have to take a whole COURSE to have a successful marriage???? Do these people not freakin’ READ source when it’s sent to them? Ron said ALL you need to know is the sending flowers dress or candy thing. Thats what he SAID! Can these people not DUPLICATE direct and simple source? A whole course on this would just be dev-t on your bridge progress. To say nothing of calming down the whole civilization applying this powerful datum.
Joe Joe…….you’re glib man
you don’t know the history of the marriage course – I do.
You have to take the course in order to find out what kind of flowers to send and what kind of candy.
For example, if your crime against the weaker sex is not remembering an anniversary, then you send daisies and chocolates.
If she catches you in a bigamous marriage, then you send roses and a dress.
If she catches you in a bigamous marriage and you take your child to Cuba and threaten to chop the baby up into pieces, you may have to take your lady out to a fancy dinner.
The course lays out all the crimes and all the ways to silence the ladies into submission.
Reading yesterday how Elron treated women. On Valentines Day..?? Scn is the opposite of a loving caring ” religion” …
Cost of Tricking your 2D partner into being hypnotized and then brainwashed? Priceless!
Wow! Brainwashing: Staff gets it for free!
Oh buddy – it ain’t for free.
Well, of course! We have to hand over our souls…
🙂 Chee.
Geeze Chee, I thought those Two Dee co-audits were supposed to solve all that stuff so all that was left in life were warm and fuzzies?
Chee, you are awesome!
“Joe Joe…….you’re glib man”
Ha ha ha ha.
We must never let Miscavige’s Useful Idiot, AKA Tom Cruise, forget that HE is the public face of a criminal organization.
Well done Chee!
Based on these Thursday funnies, I see how absurdly wrong that LRH’s religion has become. It is unfulfilled promises, fake love, unnatural optimism, forced smiles, false hope, dream-crushing EPs and all are tethered to a man who has marginalized his wife and is known to have beaten his staff.
Building what new world?!
GEP,
You have it. Sadly so true.
” I see how absurdly wrong that LRH’s religion has become.”
I think it always was GEP but Dave has a way of taking something with a foul smell and really getting it to exude a stench that only money can buy.
Let me get this straight … The DC org is putting on a fundraiser for the BOSTON org and there are actually Scientologists in DC who are going to SHOW UP for this? In “haute couture” yet? These attendees, if there are indeed some , would have to be either among the absolute STUPIDEST people in DC (outside of the White House of course) or people who have SO much money, it’s should we use twenty dollar bills for toilet paper next week or just show up at the fundraiser and blow ten grand watching the dweebs get sucked dry and REALLY have ourselves a big laugh?
That caught my eye, too – DC is 450 miles away, and they’re helping out Boston?!
I’m in Boston occasionally, and besides being one of the largest metro areas in the US, it appears to be thriving economically, with lots of the tech and medical businesses to be expected in a town full of institutions of higher learning – just the sort of place that Scientology ought to be thriving, theoretically. And yet they have an infamously struggling org, mired in a tortuous “ideal” org campaign that first bought a historic building – which they had to give up on – a decade ago, and with no missions to speak of. They moved into an upper story of an old commercial building that is out of the way enough, that I haven’t been able to get by to check the location out as I often do (it’s an hour’s round trip driving from the thriving part of town that I’m usually in).
Joe P, DC Org went Ideal in September of 2009. The ED gave a speech in which she said” Saint Hill Size is just around the corner”. Well, its 8 1/2 years later – are they Saint Hill Size? I think not. Must be some really long corner they got to get around! To continue, DC is now going to help Boston become Ideal so that Boston, too, like DC, can have a great new building in which to NOT train auditors and NOT audit preclears!
Aqua … It’s the “reverse vector strategy” Which I think is based on the Philadelphia lecture where Ron goes on and on about the flows going out, going in, tractor beams, yadda yadda yadda …
The idea is DON’T train or audit anyone or get new people in, in fact REPEL any who might be interested and thus all these out flows will create massive in flows that will clear the planet … It’s something like that … Or maybe it’s the opposite … Maybe if I heard the lecture again or could clay demo it …
🙂 Joe P!
Yeah, I know that “reverse vector” lecture and I use that principle effectively sometimes in my business. (Key word here being “sometimes”)
OK, so if Miscavige REALLY had the goal of clearing the planet and the purposes of training auditors and getting everyone Clear (which of course we know he doesn’t but let’s pretend for argument sake he does) and were actually using this reverse vector strategy (policy) to achieve these purposes and this goal, then it would sound like this:
Org Staff to Public:
“We’re in no rush to let you do your Levels. We’re in no rush to auditor train you, particularly. Is there a number where you can be reached? We’ll review the matter and let you know.”
“You want to go Clear? Ok, we’ll think about it. No rush. Sure, we’ll accept a deposit and put it on your account if you want. Thanks. We’ll get back to you.. Have a nice day.”
See? That would be a reverse vector strategy.
So THIS way, everyone REACTS to this “getting pushed away”, and HAVE to get trained, HAVE to be audited!
“…please, please you just have to accept me for training please I’d be such a fantastic auditor, just give me a chance please…” and
“Look, HERE is my money, ALL my money, credit cards, 401K emptied out, house remortgaged please please PLEASE audit me, I simply MUST go Clear, I simply CANNOT wait!”
Hmm, good luck with THAT, Miscavige 🙂
Bruh, I’m pretty sure I’ve said “like” about 75 million times. When do I get my Mensa certificate?
Wonder how close I could get to the Morgue opening on Saturday… or if it would even be worth the gas money.
I’m with Mensapause & I do have a certificate. I’m kind of old.
What about the internship? Done that yet?
(Big sigh). No. But, I’ll get on it right away.
“Mensapause”. Now THAT has to be corniest pun ever and yet I’m laughing at it.
I knew you couldn’t resist…
Does it come in a huge-ass frame the size of a small car?
Besides a brown paper bag, Charlie Wakley probably needs one of those inflatable rubber rings, considering almost all he does for days on end is sit on a hard chair behind the reception-desk at Queen Victoria Street, waiting for the next stray tourist looking for St. Paul’s Cathedral…
I want to know how Charlie knows that I’m a 12 year old girl in 1955, and that I would insert March 16th in bold on page 57 of my diary. Super powers?
Is it just me, or are their presentations And representatives getting seedier and seedier looking?
It’s not just you.
“But they live just down the street from me, perhaps I should pop in. I did get an invitation.”
Well, as a good neighbor, I think you owe them the courtesy of attending then. After all, it would be rather rude of you to not show up after they took the time to send you an invitation. It’s obvious that your presence would be welcome.
I know that I would take great offense if someone didn’t respond to my heartfelt invitation for them to join me as I work on having some world class entertainment and making a lovely dinner for them.
That would just be rude. You’re not that kind of guy, are you Mike? I think you owe it to them to attend. Also, please record a video of your attendance, particularly when you knock on the door and they answer it and see that it’s you…..solely for the purpose of confirming to us that you did attend the event, of course. No reason other than that.
I’m wondering how it is that Mike received an invite? Did the SO member who addressed the envelope not get an expedited routing to the RPF and labeled as PTS for even writing out the address of such a HUGE SP?
Frantic for all remaining cash from the fish in the small, rapidly drying up mud puddle that is now the “field”.
A dried up field with no new sources to tap. And yet…they continue. Poor little clams (snap, snap, snap).
Sad, so very sad… (sniff & snivel, going all misty).
Ahhhhh, you do have a heart! Way to go, I Yawn!
“…in the small, rapidly drying up mud puddle that is the “field”. Still laughing, Wynski.
Wow the Baxter’s live down the street from me! I should head down there tonight in my Don’t Be Culty shirt!
Bruce, can we hit the bars before heading down there?
Take your phone, make a video and send it to Mike for next weeks funnies!
Don’t forget to padlock your wallet.
I carry my wallet in a safe. You ought to my muscles now!
Always maximum pomp and circumstance, but when you look at these ideal orgs they are empty.
The only people they can get are those who don’t know how to use Google. All the Oat Tee levels have been exposed. It’s all on the internet. Pretty embarrassing for the cult.
Oh… not really. They don’t understand them either.
ROTFLMAO!!! Well done!