The most significant ever…
As always. Even more significant than opening SuMP?
It’s only the best until the next one.
The one thing you can do to thrive…
Stay away from any registrars.
Super fun…
If that’s what you call being endlessly beaten for money…
But the “beach backyard” sounds cool. But “Best dressed” in beach gear? Perhaps this is a smallest speedo contest?
I bet anyone can see the difference…
No? Really? You are not looking hard enough…
They’re STILL fundraising
They have Santa Barbara, Hawaii and Albuquerque left. Traditional “dog orgs” that will not collect enough money and will be paid for out of Reserves. So, why bother?
Bringing back the superheros
They always save the day right?
They are sure banking on it…
Love this one…
“Location to be revealed” but we expect you to commit to attending now.
Affluence applied
Just what I think of when considering scientology in Durban…
Remember when Bubbles Champagne went there and 6 people showed up?
This is good?
They can’t find any Australians to be in their “continental org”?
20,000 eggs
It’s the biggest event EVER…. Monumental!
WTF?
You last lifetime? Next lifetime? “Other” you?
Jesus.
Olympics?
What about this has anything to do with Olympics?
But you will be happy to learn Perth is THE most important org on earth. Don’t tell the Valley. Or LA Org. Or Tampa. Or the scientology city…
The SO #1 line
“In the name of OT”?
Hey Dave, how come Russia doesn’t have one of those empty “AO” buildings?
Laugh along here…
This is an “ideal” org.
They have a volume of activity that would not qualify them as a Mission.
Actually it’s MONUMENTAL
Like every event…
Freewinds runs aground…
Monumentalness
Is that a dollar sign? How appropriate?
Disaster Response Heros
They are awarding themselves?
Freedom Fighters?
What freedom are they fighting for exactly? The right to take unlimited amounts of money from anyone they can get it from?
Come one, come all
What an odd way of saying that.
But there’s a free brunch so it must be a fundraiser.
How to take a non-viable scene…
… like the Mission of Baton Rouge?
“Over” 107 years?
He got an early start being “mankind’s greatest friend.”
He had nothing even remotely connected to “mankind” until 1950….
This begs the question.
Why NOT in Orlando? They don’t have enough people to do CF so why are they “ideal”?
Foolishness
I guess there are those who DONT make good on their “pledge” that it’s noteworthy when someone does?
I assume her parents haven’t disconnected from her…
Buy it for Ron…
Somehow I doubt he gives a shit.
The motto of scientology
What is going on?
Why are they poaching on AO and ASHO territory? They don’t have enough public from those ideal orgs in the UK?
Best Aussie Beach Gear … Mike, seriously, is it too late to repent and squeeze in to your finest speedo???
“Trash pickup, sidewalk cleanup, and handout The Way to Happiness booklets”
I think they should do the last one first, if their object really is to reduce litter. Of the people who take one, a lot walk along a bit, realize who and what it’s about, then drop it like it was radioactive.
“Trash pickup, sidewalk cleanup…” Don’t we pay taxes for this?
Darn, no events in Western Australia except for updating some files in Perth. How disappointing!!
I was looking things over again, and noticing the Sacramento OTC minutes – that’s probably another case where a group that sounds like it would be limited, probably more or less IS the entire active membership. It looks like there are about 60 names, accounting for duplications – remaining hardcore members are, typically, often generating multiple “stats” – which seems to be about an average active membership for an “ideal” org these days. I also see many last names that are the same, indicating that much of the remaining membership is a number of extended families.
And I noticed that the St. Hill egg hunt piece says that “all entrance profits go to local charities;” depending in how they define profits, that could be little to none after the expenses of buying 20,000 eggs. And local charities could just be local affiliates of Scientology front groups. I’ve learned that their PR has to be carefully parsed, because it’s often worded to be deceptive.
All those me’s in one room.
My therapist is LIVID!
Every event is a monumental premature dissemination.
To think that foolish charlatan Hubbard would be 107 years old. And the most foolish dullards on the planet CELEBRATE his birthday, despite all the easily obtained facts on his lies and cons in this day and age.
There is no excuse anymore.
Scientologists in “good standing” are in one of three conditions, and none of them are good.
They are either:
1. Extremely dimwitted.
2. Extremely under duress and held hostage by fear of disconnection or fear of confessions exposed.
3. Extremely criminal in knowingly aiding and abetting crimes against humanity.
This is not a good situation to find oneself. The only solution is to leave scientology, and let the chips fall where they may.
And the good news? There are thousands of people who want to help you land on your feet.
That’s one peck of events! After I uncrossed my eyes …. The 107 year celebration? Then after reading some of the posts this made me think of Frank Sinatra so I looked up Do Be Do Be Do
To be is to do. —Socrates
To do is to be. —Plato
Do-be-do-be-do. —Sinatra
Source: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/22386/to-be-is-to-do-to-do-is-to-be-do-be-do-be-do-what-does-this-mean
Not sure who came up with the Have.
I guess there’s a T-shirt out there just waiting to be made.
It is a little curious that the e-meter is referred to as the “Hubbard Professional Mark Ultra VIII” when it was designed 20 years after Hubbard passed away. Shouldn’t Hubbard’s most recent design be the one he commissioned to Sarge, designed to help him kill himself?
The one he had Sarge make was the Mark VII Lightning Bolt
The Mark Ultra VII Lightning Bolt is a very rare variation, it runs on 220v instead of the more common 110v. Also includes conductive headcap, sponges, and wrist straps, as the high amperage causes slight flinching in the subject.
😆
Save your money. Word’s out there’s a Mark 9 coming down the pike. Totally automatic session, including all the auditor patter. Auditor Assistant says nothing, does nothing except plug the thing in, program the meter with the correct C/S app, and hand the PC the cans. Meter does everything else, even the can squeeze. Talks, listens, flawless TRs. Don’t ask how. Its a miracle really. DM is a genius. You’ll each need 3 of them, btw. Just saying.
Nundah, “The Next Wave.” Uh, er, jeez. I gather the Ideal Org Song revolves mainly around money.
“Will you rise to the occasion?” Only if the little blue pill takes effect.
The Perth mob are getting desperate and ever more childish. I wonder how the IOC feels about their logo being used without permission.
“Actually it’s MONUMENTAL” Shouldn’t that be MOANIT’SMENTAL?
“Taking the World Inside” I think it’s a S and to the right is H, I, and T.
I thought the first Perth flyer was ridiculous until I got to the second flyer. Jeez.
Overall, they’re playing to an ever diminishing base of sheepbots, most of whom are just about tapped out cash wise.
Still LMAO – “If we file them they will come”
Interesting – I noticed the event at the Baton Rouge Mission has a phone number to RSVP that is obviously out of state. I sure wish I would have known about this event ahead of time and could have counted cars!
Really Baton Rouge Mission ? What are there, like 2 OT’s in the entire state of Louisiana ? I sure hope the crooked mission holders from Ventura aren’t still ruining that place…….(that’s not a typo, either). After they drained the reserves from BR to buy their condo in Clearwater and played their “stat push” games selling books back and forth between their missions they should have seen their entire staff walk out………
I would also be interested in how many cars there were.
It’s in a surprisingly large building on a very busy thoroughfare that I pass several times a week. I’ve actually seen a few more cars lately than I ever did before but I hear absolutely nothing about them at all.
Probably gearing up to be the next “Idle Morgue”……….I’d laugh if it wasn’t so sad.
I assume “the most significant global dissemination achievement” to be announced at the birthday event, must have something to do with SuMP. I’m going to be very interested to see just what is announced, because there is no sign that they have managed to do anything significant with SuMP, which I think means they are going to have to roll out something that’s actually very underwhelming, like webcasting of a lot of the same superficial video content they now have on YouTube – and possibly even couched as more of a fundraising pitch for money so that they can produce real content – but will attempt to portray it as an impressive step, and to convince their members that it’s some sort of achievement.
And we see the ongoing attempts of yet another of the struggling Midwest orgs that have been sitting on derelict old building for about a decade, Chicago, to go “ideal”. Along with places like St. Louis, Kansas City and Battle Creek – not to mention Philadelphia, New Haven and even Boston – they seem hopelessly unable to get it together on their own, if they’re not even “dog orgs.”
Mike, you kind of hit on an interesting point – “ideal” orgs essentially ARE the new missions, taking the place of the old missions that are failing and disappearing, and serving a few dozen local members with lower-level services. The effective downgrade in their operations, is just being covered up by the superficial upgrade to new “ideal” buildings which then sit largely empty – over at Tony Ortega’s Bunker, someone who inspected the Tampa org reported that “the place smelled of mildew & was full of cobwebs & most of the rooms were dead empty”.
And, yeah, the “You last lifetime….you next lifetime” stuff is pretty bizarre to be putting on a flyer. It’s a reminder that Scientology has taken traditional ideas about spiritual reincarnation, and put a strangely materialist spin on them – not to mention which, the process through which they get members to recall supposed past lives to give “reality” to the concept, has been shown to just produce the same sort of false memory syndrome results that caused all the baseless claims of satanic ritual abuse a couple of decades ago.
Oh my goodness!!! The funnies today sure banged the needle against the pin on the weird-a-thon meter.
The Scios in Scioland are really tripping out on the kool aide this week! Past lives advertising for CF… WTF!
I am personally pleased that Australia as a nation has stayed away from Scientology like the plague that it is. Even in the 90s the Orgs there were showing major signs of having to be foreign staffed to have anyone sign on at all. However, it sure is apparent the Scio’s formula for duping people has all but run its course. Maybe ‘Chan the OT Man’ is working on a solution? One can only wait and see.
It burns me up when Scientology has the gall to use photos of young children in their promotional material. The faces always say to me, “Rescue me, please. Take care of me properly.” (Even some of the older faces say that to me.) I hope they all sue their parents when they grow up. I hope they make it that far. We certainly have enough evidence that Scientology does not care about them or recognize their special needs as children.
“If we file them, they will come…”
ROTFL!
Sometimes it’s almost impossible to believe that CoS Scientologists don’t get how ridiculous they look.
What a pretty little girl. Let’s hope a modeling agency sent her to the cult and that she’s not a piece of soon-to-be-ripe fruit for the Jenny Linson – makers to pluck.
Ahhhhh yes….
Nothing says “Happy Easter and may the blessing of Jesus Christs rising from the dead on this day…
grant you and your family….
peace, love and happiness”
like an Easter Egg Hunt at the Fraud Scam Base in Cultwaters, Florida
That quote from LRH on the Sacramento flyer….gibberish! What the heck was that? At the Perth Olympics you are encouraged to “come dressed up”….as what?? Scientologists have so many costumes in their closets that it’s hard to choose now they have Olympic attire?? I wonder what they spend to put on these events? There is just so many all the time! I would be hiding!
You might be able to double up your Aussie beach outfit….
Ekaterina Vrubel is a WISE conslating company partner plus she has here own mlm business, and of course she is fsming actively. She is one of the top local donators and 100% on Kool aid.
She is OT-3 as far as I remember.
http://bestseminar.ru/lectors/lectors_15.html Here she is.
I’d donate to see COB in a Speedo
My God, Chee! Don’t you know that you’d go blind? Glad to be of service to you. Wow! That was a close one.
Can I just look till my eyes bleed?
I’d pay good money to see that…
I’d pay not to see that. Oh, I can just stay home and save on the eye bleach.
“I’d pay not to see that.” 🙂
Naw… much rather see him in a Borat style Mankini.
Not a bedazzled gymnastics leotard at the Olympics-themed event?
I’d pay good money to see that.
*shudder* Um, I’d pay to ensure I never ever saw that in my entire life.
Now that would be a waste of a good speedo!
Yo Dave,
Assume the position of Your correct beingness. Now, do something ……….. anything Dave. OhhhhhhKay! Now …… what have you got good buddy? Yep ….. just another stinkin pile of Dave do.
We know You have a tough job with big shoes to fill Dave but some sorry sucker has to do it and it might as well be you. Keep yer head down and stay outta sight.
Oy, once I get a picture in my head…!!!!
I know the feeling…
Hollywood Neighborhood Cleanup. Hand out TWTH booklets. They are going to clean up the booklets people drop? At least they give themselves a job.
Im’a betting that they do not NOT go around picking up used needles and condoms.
Yes, pick up the trash and hand out more!! Also, do the cleaning supplies include toothbrushes for cleaning the sidewalks?
I’ve been told that now they have to take their tooth brushes and clean the streets.
Wow! How theta! Doing a community service using actual Sea Org tech!
Isn’t Hollywood something like 30 sq miles in area? I’m sure they’ll accomplish a lot in 4 hours of cleanup on a Saturday morning. Think of it in terms of how many Clears made in the LA Org against the millions of population within their coverage area. It’s a good thing that Compton is kicking in with their Clears. Should have LA cleared just in time for when the Sun goes nova. And Hollywood cleaned up too.
I’m not a Californian and have only seen San Francisco. Isn’t Hollywood a VERY expensive area, and if so, with all the high municipal taxes paid would trash removal be an issue? Possibly there are low rent areas of H’wood with inadequate trash pick up? Just wondering. With no clear idea as to why 🙂
Most of Hollywood — the actual district within the much larger City of Los Angeles — varies from working-class to slummy, full of new immigrants and (relatively) low-rent apartment houses. What people think of as “Hollywood” — the film and television industry and its “players,” the glamour part — moved out of that Hollywood decades and decades ago, up into the Hollywood Hills, through the passes to San Fernando Valley, west into Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, Brentwood, Century City, West L.A., Santa Monica, up the coast to Malibu.
So there’s generally a need for trash pickup in most given parts of gritty, urban, Hollywood-the-place on any given day.
No doubt someone will have to organize a second cleanup in Hollywood after all those booklets get thrown to the ground, lol.
Monumental? More like Monumentalless..
The other day my dog made a doingness on my best havingness. He nearly lost his beingness – I wanted to whack his behindness into the nextcountyness, but I heldbackness.
Being a superior being, with lifetimes of experience making doingnesses on my favorite havingnesses, he knew how to make his yuckynesses go right…
… so he did. With a few slurps of a slobbery tongue. Shlurp, shhlurp, shhhhhluurppp.
All gone, daddy, see? wag wag wag
But I still mopped up, just in case, ’cause the cats were sniffing for leftovernesses.
Ahhhh, will these wins never cease!
And then there’s nessness,..
Ammo wins in Best of Snark category.
Ammo-I’m still laughing about that after 2 days! ???
Apart from all the other craziness above: Maybe I’m mistaken, but couldn’t Kevin Costner (or, more likely, the studio) sue their sorry asses for that Perth Files Project thingy?!?!?!
Beingness, doingness, havingness? Try saying that ten times fast. Arghhh!!!
I can’t even say ‘Do Fish Swim’ real fast.
Awww c’mon, you can doingness?
Wow, very colorful this week. All about “give us your money, give us your money”.
No church I have ever seen, does anything like that. Disgusting.
Oh boy Mike, you sure know how to give the readers of your blog many laughs once we read your ‘accurate observations”. Really, it is a lot, a lot of fun.
The Highest Ever “Thank yous” for you
Some special person is doing super powere , must be eextra speciale !
“The game of life demands that one assume a beingness in order to accomplish a doingness in the direction of havingness”
Say what? That one really was funny!
I also wondered exactly what that means.
Please, Jill, let translate: Blah, blah, blah, BS, BS, BS, Blah, Blah, Blah. Need I say more?
OSD your scientology to english translation is lacking. You have been out too long. There should be semicolons instead of commas there. Sheesh…. 😉
Damn! I always forget those semicolons. I’m just a disgrace…
To: Old Surfer Dude
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: your disrespectful lack of semicolons.
I think you need to watch my super monumental 2007 event where I refer to the March of the semicolons! Then, after you’ve shelled out $17,000.00 for a complete Legacy package consisting of the teachings of yours truly, I don’t ever want to see you write anything again without a plethora of semicolons!
The great David Miscavige has spoken!
ML
Dave.
Holy shit! I’m in big trouble now!
Whatever you do, don’t fork over the 17 grand!
Translation: Miscavige wants what you HAVE, therefore you better be DOING all you can in order to BE a sucker.
Chee, I thought we HAD a sucker that was DOING all He could to BE an asshole?
😉
And then there’s Asshole Meritorious.
“The game of life demands that one assume a beingness in order to accomplish a doingness in the direction of havingness”
translated into WOG
“The game of Scientology demands that one assumes a slave beingness in order to accomplish a slave doingness in the direction of David Miscavige’s lavish havingness”
Thanks; missed that one. Do any of the sheep know how ridiculous that sounds? Do any of them have the cojones to ask ‘Say what?’ They might think for a second or two – and then quickly push the thought down.
Jill, Say you have a sink full of dirty dishes. You want them all washed (have). In order to have them all washed you (or someone) has to wash them (do). Before you (or anyone) can wash them, you (or someone) has to “assume the beingness” of a dishwasher (be).
To reverse it, if you refuse to BE a dishwasher, then you won’t DO the work which means you won’t HAVE the product of “all dishes washed”.
Someone has to DO before they can HAVE, and before they can DO they have to BE , meaning,just agreeing that one IS the person who would do that work – even if its just for that one time!
Hope this helps 🙂
Vomit in words.
I’m sorry, Yawn. Sending you a cyber alka seltzer.
We’ve got a lot of vomit going on.
It’s ironic that they’re throwing out that statement of Hubbard’s be-do-have principle – one of many concepts with some sound basis that he borrowed from others, in this case going back at least as far as ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus’ “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do” – when the current “ideal” org campaign is, as is often pointed out, a reversal of that: Miscavige is pushing the idea that Scientology has to have fancy “ideal” orgs, in order to be successful at attracting large numbers of people, and then to do the things that they claim they can to better the world.
” He had nothing even remotely connected to “mankind” until 1950…”
But plenty of brutality and betrayal to womankind in the decades before that.
And after that both sexes got equal treatment, he fucked everyone!
?
There will be more Easter eggs at St. Hill than there are scamologists on the entire planet.
BTW, what does the Resurrection of Jesus Christ have to do with El Con Tubbolard & Scamology?
Regarding your first paragraph: I’ll buy that.
Regarding your second paragraph: I haven’t the faintest clue!!
Absolutely nothing!
Some Christians believe Jesus Christ was crucified for your sins….rose from the dead and he now sits at the right hand of the father along with the Holy Spirit….
Scientology – “you can be a Christian and do Scientology”
Which is a HUGE LIE…among millions of other lies in Scientology
You can be a christian in Scientology… for a few hours….But you can’t be anything other than a robot if you are going up the Bridge or taking courses….it is Scientologically unethical…
El Con Hubbard says….Scientology won’t work if we can’t hijack your mind and keep the propaganda pumping and coursing through your viens….That is how Mind Control works…and my written words won’t hypnotize you if you interfere with my rhetorical writing and hypnosis tech….
Then you get to the top of the Bridge and find out….Hubbard’s dirty little secret….
L Ron Hubbard’s secret OT materials –
“Jesus was a pedophile and liked little boyz” and so on and so forth
Scientology will forgive you sins for millions of dollars and the opportunity to flat line your mind….until you are nothing.
Not to defend Scientology, or rain on anyone’s woo parade but even before I got into the cult, way back when I was in a Christian Sunday school, I never believed that anyone could die for anyone else’s sins. It always seemed kind of silly and pointless if not downright ridiculous that one innocent person lets himself be crucified so that all the rest of us forever after get off the hook for any bad things we do. I still think its nonsense but if it helps people and makes them feel better or whatever then, “whatever”. I know this fervent belief to be a tremendous comfort to my Evangelical relaives. Helps them sleep at night, apparently.
Not to be anti Christian but according to Wikipedia, later in life Aleister Crowley sent “Antichristmas cards” to his friends.
If the second coming of Christ is at hand….will that the tan necessarily be an OT Scientologist ?
I can make a joke about ANY organized religion, but I realize the world is fillled with people of good faith. I’m not an atheist.
Richard, you don’t have to verbally tiptoe around, at least, not on MY account. I don’t mind if anyone bashes my woo. Doesn’t bother me at all. Possibly because a good deal of my own woo is to give credence to a variety of possibilities because I don’t KNOW and I don’t think anyone really KNOWS. And then there’s what I believe and DO which works for me. So, If what I believe and practice couldn’t stand up to a decent bashing, what good would it be?
. What amazes me are those woo-bashers who can’t take what they dish out. Of course, that’s because THEIR woo ISN’T woo! THEIR woo is NOT to be questioned! Because its Ultimate Truth / the Sacred Word of God / The bridge To Total Freedom, etc., etc., etc. and yawn, yawn yawn 🙂 Because, of course, they KNOW. They have NO doubt about this. They ABSOLUTELY know.
Well, I say, good for them, if that’s what keeps them warm at night 🙂
Modern telescopes have detected 100 billion galaxies in the observable universe, each with billions of stars. When and if I can wrap my mind around that I might become an atheist. The human mind and brain is adapted to life on earth.
The Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl. The quarterback and the coach thanked God for the victory. “Whatever”
Yes, 100 billion galaxies in the OBSERVABLE universe. This is why I’m comfortable living in the question. I will never be an atheist. Call It, Him or Her “God” or whatever name, I definitely believe, while reserving the right to be as analytical and skeptical as I choose with regard to the spin off stories about and explanations for “God” known to us as the various religions and spiritual practices.
Interesting factoid about Crowley.
It’s hard to say if Crowley was making a point or just had a sense of humor. An Antichristmas card signed by Crowley would definitely be a collectible.
Have a jolly rotten Christmas
Your friend, Aleister
Maybe both, Richard 🙂
Bah, Humbug,
Aqua
About as much as using other people’s money to buy an estate does with being lord of the manor.
“BTW, what does the Resurrection of Jesus Christ have to do with El Con Tubbolard & Scamology?”
They both pass the plate at the end of the story telling. It’s just that Scios think BIG and know they only get what they lie about.
Ah, thank I Yawn
The answer, Yawn, is “Nothing”. Scientology merely positions with Christianity to increase the perception that its a bonafide religion. The cult uses Christianity as a marketing tool to gain respectability and acceptance.
They knows that the majority of people are Christians (in America anyway ) so it celebrates Christian holidays and uses Christian symbols (its buildings are “churches”, the Scientology cross is a knock off of the Roman Catholic crucifix)
If the majority of the people of the world or of any area were Wiccans, Scientology would be marketing itself with covens and incantations, robes and herbs and other Wiccan ephemera.
Its all very cynical on the part of the cult. Strictly a marketing ploy.
Like if you’re trying to sell hammers in the back hills of Kentucky, you need to wear well worn bib & brace demon overalls?
Exactly! You got it.
Right! “Yo Dave!” Put out a poster showing the Easter Bunny sitting on Santa’s lap with the cans in his hands. “Hiding eggs from children?”
The cult uses Christianity as a marketing tool to gain respectability and acceptance. They knows that the majority of people are Christians (in America anyway ) so it celebrates Christian holidays and uses Christian symbols…
To be fair, this is exactly what early Christianity did to woo pagans.
Christians do not have a monopoly on
EostreEaster.You are right, mwestern. To convert the European pagans they were allowed to keep all their pagan customs. Comparative religion is an interesting subject to this heretic 🙂 Easter comes from the pagan Norse godess of spring and fertility and such. Coloring eggs had been going on a long time. Oster’s little pet animal was the rabbit. This was all just co-opted to use to celebrate the Annunciation of Christ. That’s how they did it. With Christmas too.
I got a question about this Saint Hill 20,000 egg extravaganza: how come little kids have to pay to get in but the adults get in for free?
In my experience, it’s usually the other way around.
Hmmm, we should donate some eggs to COB. Pretty colors. Only not hard-cooked. Boil them for 2 minutes only, then color them. Then leave them out of the fridge to get nice and ripe. Then put them in a be-ribbonned basket for Dear Leader. Yum!