The Chan Man is back…
And it’s only $100 to hear him ramble. How could you resist? He will teach you the secret to make yourself rich: charge people $100 to tell them to charge people $100 to get rich…
Whole Track Technology to Make More Money!
Jeanie better watch out, she is getting awfully close to setting herself up as a rival to the COB. “COB of the Midwest”?
Love this promotion. Clearly she thinks the weird stuff attracts people… Maybe she could dress up in those white helmets, jump suits and boots like AOLA used to do. That was weird for sure.
But you gotta admit that whole track technology to make money is a good one.
Anonymous special guests and performances…
Trust us, they will be great. What could go wrong, this is at Lake Success!
I can’t even read this…
But I know it’s a sad story of a total con.
Experience OT!
A video. That is pretty OT.
Psych busters unite
In the meantime, please send money.
A powerhouse lineup…
Bet you the Chan Man is jealous.
Maybe they should ask COB of the Midwest to come and inspire them with some Wholetrack Moneymaking Tech.
Joke?
Apparently so.
Taco Party
They don’t even say who it was a fundraiser for. You know it HAD to be a fundraiser…
Ideal Org Food
At $25 a head, the food is going to be shit AND they are not going to raise any money (A few hundred bucks won’t buy a square foot of handmade rug in the ideal org…)
Well, you should know…
There is more to Shana than meets the eye
Let’s get that petition going — you can see she got a LOT of support:
What a reason?
If this is REALLY a good reason, then how come Lakeland FL or Land O’Lakes FL don’t have ideal orgs? Or any orgs? Or even a Mission? Or a group?
Explain this to me again…
When there are 3 ideal orgs in Florida it will be “ideal”? Even though nothing in Jacksonville. Ft Lauderdale. Tallahassee. Naples. Daytona Beach, Pensacola. Or 100 other towns and cities? 3 is going to do it says who?
And what does she know?
Because she won a freedom medal, she has inside scoop? Really?
One time only
Yeah, right. Nothing EVER gets repeated in scientology.
It just amazes me that they think people buy this…
Yep, it’s “about to happen”
Planetary Clearing is just coming into view from the steps of the porch to infinity.
This is a line they used to use in the early 70’s…
A “Footy Event”?
Always saddens me to see my brother still pitching ideal orgs when he knows Melbourne continues to struggle and is a failure. But that’s not something a bubble-dweller can EVER admit. They HAVE to keep pretending everything is GREAT. That is “Command Intention.”
Perth CF
They are 1/7th of the way done after a year and plan to complete in 2 weeks!!! That’s some good planning.
Magic
We will trick into believing you should turn over money for a useless cause….
59 years in Scientology – finally “Clear”
Now going “flat out” through the Student Hat to get “prepared” for opening an Advanced Org that will sit empty from the day COB yanks its ribbon.
It’s the LAST thing Africa needs. They have 3 “ideal org” buildings rotting away (Capetown, Harare and Bulawayo), one empty ideal org “lot” in Durban and a tiny, failing org in Port Elizabeth with nothing. Jobur can’t pay their bills and the other two ideal orgs (Joburg N and Pretoria) are even empiter.
Tell me again why they need an “AO”?
Massive expansion is coming to an org near you
Or maybe to another one as the one near you never expands. It MUST be happening in all the other places….
Well, here’s a question
If this guy is making so much money, why isn’t Austin Org fundraising done yet?
Or did this go from $10/week to $210/week? His “actual” graph doesn’t have actual numbers….
Aw, there is cute little Michael Chan again. He is adorable.
Michael Chan is far more cuddly than that freaky COB Miscavige, despite all the recent “Tiger Beat” style photos of the demented little sociopath.
Nobody wants to cuddle with a creepy demonic imp that reeks of scotch and ashtrays. Even Lou is holding her nose until the time is ripe to throw the L’il creep under the bus.
Footy dinner? It’s free! Hmmm… I’ll pass.
Does $cientology realize what an icky crashing bore every part of it is? These “events” make the word “dreary” look good.
WOW, can’t believe I missed this earlier. Joke? The 760 area code is California. Family Org board webinar? The family in that picture does not live anywhere close to that Org.. So they are stealing pictures that look good and using them? I guess they could not find an actual family picture that is really from their Org or even their state? The family in that picture is neither from their Org and does not even live in that region. I sent him (the guy in the picture) an email with the contact information for that Org.
I’m surprised about the Masterson petition. This woman has known him for 20 years. Unlike at least four other women she thinks he’s a prince among men. Given her invaluable insight into DJ Donkey Punch’s (yes, he is indeed a respecter of donkeys, er, women and a class act both) why shoot as low as petitioning to get him back on a TV show? Why not petition for an end to that pesky investigation instead?
I’m thinking the cult feels they have to show him a show of loyalty, strictly for PR reasons, to help save their own face as an organization that Masterson supports, and to hoodwink the Still Ins into believing in Danny Boy’s innocence. This is all cult PR fluff. This woman has to be an unpaid OSA Helperette with cult clearance to do this. Its not going anywhere and they know it but some of the still ins, without any inspection of the facts, will believe he’s innocent because of this petition and if they’re told to sign it they will.
It’s characteristic that sociopaths are very good at ingratiating themselves with the people it suits them to, while picking others to victimize. It might even be said that one of their skills or tools is that they sort of short-circuit people’s belief in their ability to judge character. It’s thus typical that on the one hand they have dogged supporters who don’t believe them capable of doing the things that on the other hand they are in fact perpetrating against others.
Hmmmmmm………sounds just like a description of L. Ron Hubbard
I can’t help but wonder what exactly is an “international chef?” Some unfortunate from a former East bloc nation who had his passport impounded and is now working for pennies?
🙂 Todd.
Hey Mike, I don’t want to flog a dead horse and feel awful for asking but … which guy on the promo poster is your brother? You’re the best IMHO and hope is a great motivator, so never give up!
Andrew Rinder, I assume. Circled picture on the right.
This woman, Joke (and I know that’s not a typo) should have changed her name a long time ago. “Jerk” has a nice ring to it.
What kind of fool am I, who never saw Ron’s con?
It seems that Dave’s the only one that I’ve been thinkin’ of!
What kind of man is this, an empty shell?
A lonely cell in which an empty heart must dwell!
What kind of lips are these, that lied with false PR?
That shouted heated words of threat that left me trapped like this?
Why can’t I see the scam like any other man?
And maybe then I’ll know what kind of fool I am!
OMG, one of my favorites, sung by Sammy Davis Jr. Now I’m going to be grocery shopping, up and down the isles, with Sammy’s voice and YOUR lyrics, MJM , thank you very much 🙂
The comments section here on Thursdays makes this my favorite day of the week!
The Russian Hubbo-Hall blurb reads (allowing for the vagaries of Google Translate): “Ron created a Bridge for us to achieve freedom. He gave it all his time, money and energy – all for us.” So yes, a total con.
I assume “Roberto and Rosa Bank, worthy members of the legion of honour” want all their rich oligarch pals to “help create a point-source that will connect the weight of the world(?) with Ron”…
I’m not going to take a cheap shot at Joke Reeder’s name…
Instead, I’m going to say that it would be VERY NAUGHTY to make up a likely sounding e-mail address, join this webinar and extract contact details and send Debbie Cook letters to them. So don’t do that. Seriously
Well, I’m sorry, Jens, but being a naughty type, now that you’ve forbidden me I will have to do it.
Why have all these seminars about making more money or increasing your wealth. All they have to do is “start a religion “.That’s how they got where they are now.
Also thank you scientology. We are going to be in upstate New York in May and we were looking for things to do. Now we know where we will be on May 5th. Counter protest time. Will get pictures for you Mike.
Even if you’re a die-hard kool-ade drinker, doesn’t it sound like Jeanie and Rachel are leading one big verbal-data-palooza?
I can’t believe no one is making fun of ‘Joke’ the lady teaching the ‘Family Org Board’. I can see that ‘hatting’ for that right now…’Little Billy you are going to ‘hat’ little Susy on using the toilet’…..
‘Force’ Chamberlain and the 21x prosperity seminar, may the Force not be with you. Otherwise your wallet will be empty.
A ‘footy’ event?? Those people look like they are setting up for Rugby scrum. Yeah, every $cientologist should be scrum ready, just to keep those huge numbers of new ‘students’ from getting auditing all at once.
Thanks to all who send this shit in, now we all can laugh.
“…may the Force not be with you”. But, the Farce will.
Nothing shouts Cinco de Mayo like a “PsychBusters Protest”…great choice for an event date in NYC, CoS. Woohoo…you guys are def on top of it…and by “it”, I mean a mountain of the stuff you don’t want to step in.
Thursday funnies are great and fit right in today.
Enjoyed this morning with my Hubbard copyrighted OT VIII whole track recall, free from amnesia.
Whole track recall is really gut splitting laughter and pain with the cognition that Hubbard was nothing more than a misguided young man.
I was on the whole track once. The train almost ran over me.
Perhaps you need more training.
ROTFLMFAO! Nice.
My Family Org is comprised of five people, one cat and one dog. Guess that means we’re almost “Saint Hill Sized”! I’m also in the middle of several renovation projects at home so, that makes us “ideal”. I’m going to have the family start addressing me as COB.
That’s actually a COS graph with a scale at the lower side (years).
That’s a great step!
Now let’s also have a scale at the left side…. 😉
“Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.” ~ Eric Hoffer
Wow, is that ever a great quote, and true.
Oh my dear Perth. Your rearranged files are so attractive to look at, lined up so neatly and uniformly on the shelf. Sadly, the dross that filled the old folders are exactly what you find in the new ones. Completely useless. If your end goal is neat looking files, then bravo. If, however, you strive to clear the planet, you’re only heading in one direction: abject failure. I’ve told you before, and you still have time — Take these files on a deep sea fishing trip, and dump them into the Indian Ocean. Then report back to COB that the files are done. No one will ever know the difference, and you can relax with a pizza and a few beers while watching that peculiar sport you call football on TV.
I have often wondered the same thing. A nice big weenie roast over the burning files, and just say the right words. Nobody cares, and nobody will ever bother to look.
Wow, “do you feel trapped by time warps, or that the universe is another dimension” sounds like crazy talk from people with reality adjustment and mental health issues. I’ve only ever seen anything quite so bizarre-sounding in some of the more far-out independent/freezone materials.
It’s sad and strange to see the poor Russian-speakers being hit up for LRH Hall, which I don’t think has been mentioned since Misavige said it would be “opening soon” about 3 years ago, and thought had been quietly consigned to the back burner while Scientology deals with more urgent problems such as the seriously decaying old buildings bought long ago to be “ideal” orgs. I wonder if they don’t dare try to build “ideal” orgs in Russia and former Soviet countries for fear that the government will seize them in fraud investigations, and so are using fundraising for LRH Hall as the way to “reg” money from the whales in those areas.
The Orlando saga never ends. I’m curious to see just what hoops they have to jump through to get that weakest of orgs up to “ideal” strength – and then what happens to such a fundamentally small org afterwards. It’s going to be “epic” in some sense or other, and perhaps a test case for what will happen with the remaining orgs that have yet to go “ideal,” most of which are similarly small and weak.
Carol Hogarth seems to be an example of the many old-timers who have only been making very slow progress up the “bridge,” in contrast to the better-publicized examples of people who go for broke to go “OT,” and who are now being pushed to finally go “clear.” I’ve heard rumblings that they’re being pushed to get at least get that far, under the threat that if they don’t, when they die they’re at risk of being “implanted” and coming back in worse shape or even eternally enslaved. Some of them now either have some money and time due to retirement (or, worse, yet, lump sum early job buyouts), or because elderly parents have left them an inheritance. I think that Scientology is headed for a stat crash once they finishing getting this group of laggards through “clear,” and then when this fairly significant membership demographic – a lot of the remaining mission holders, are also about the same age – passes on.
Easy come, easy go. Many still in Scientologists are really bad with money. I knew a few trust fund babies whose elderly parents, knowing this, set up systems that not only portioned out the money in (relatively) small increments but made it REALLY tough and time consuming for their cult “children” to get any larger sums. Shrewd old buzzards, these.
Some others I knew who inherited their parents’ hard earned dough just pissed it away on various cult scams, mostly the IAS “FuckedToThe Maximus” status’s.
I know one lady who is bled, and I do mean BLED so regularly and shamelessly by her “friends” in my old org that its almost painful for me to think about her. But then, she’s no dummy, and via her inheritance she’s extremely rich, so maybe I shouldn’t pity her.
And she wouldn’t talk to me anyway today because I am an undeclared , whispered about yet extremely dangerous SP who could threaten her good standing in the cherch!
My goodness, one conversation with me and she might not be permitted to donate millions to them anymore.
Honestly, one CANNOT make this shit up!
Regarding “coming back in worse shape”, I think Buddhists suggest that when and if you come back you arrive in basically the same condition as when you left. That’s good enough for me. Implant stations be damned. (I think they are “stations”? I guess they have a way to corral incorporeal beings.)
Yeah, Richard, I’m down with coming back in the same condition as when I leave, except I would like to be a little younger 🙂
Laughter – I guess each journey is worthwhile if the Buddhist version is correct. One time I was channel surfing and came across Billy Graham preaching. He was quite certain that when he “dropped the bod” he would immediately go th Heaven. I doubt that Buddhism had much influence on his thinking. Mr. Hubbard probably had a jolly good time describing implant stations. After all, he was creating his own religion in the fine tradition of many who came before him.
All of these new versions of religion keep popping up. When is someone going to figure out The Metaphysical Equation of Everything? I guess I’ll have to remain a Universal Everythingist.
So is Kentucky not in the Midwest Rachel Kasle’s faux clerical garb a throwback to Scn’s first attempts at grifting in the guise of a church? More desperate measures to try and legitimize the chronically illegitimate? What next, incense in auditing rooms? Tabernacles?
I love the qualifications required for the CCHR job… “Must know how to use Word and Google”
GOOGLE??? They WANT them to use Google??? But…but, what if the run into entheta??? How will they handle that?
A Sec Check to free the charge but not free of charge.
Some enchanted evening
You will get a Sec Check
You will spill your Witholds
In a small, crowded room
And somehow you know
You know even then
You’re gonna get Sec Checked
Again and again…
Who can explain it, who can tell you why?
Once you are Sec Checked, kiss your ass goodbye!
LOL, perfect, MJM!
You inspired me. ?
Easy Old Surfer Dude: just agree that all entheta comes from evil people who do not deserve any attention.
I will turn up my nose to them.
I’d like to know what the salary is for this CCHR job. Must be very high. After all, there are only a couple of billion people on the planet who know how to use Word and Google!
“Michael Chan… is a full-time Scientologist”. What in Xenu’s name is a ‘full time Scientologist’?
There are full-time Christians and part time Christians? I don’t think so! I guess what he’s saying is that he’s so successful at fleecing the sheeple that he makes a full-time living out of Scientology. He’s saying more about Scientology than he probably meant to.
A full time scientologist is one who makes money at it. As opposed to those who need a job to pay for being a scientologist.
Sooo… someone who ALSO rips off other scientologists other than the CO$? Does he not realize the precarious position he is in? One step away from an SP declare if he gets into DMs crosshairs 🙂
Dave,
AFAIK there is only ONE person making money at scientology and he does not share. He works full time to assure that.
To paraphrase Galadriel from LOTR: “This task was appointed to you, demented midget, and if you do not fail at it someone else will.”
Whoa, Dave, that’s heavy.
Life just wouldn’t be life without Chan the Man strutting his stuff. He’s the Ideal example of a Scientology product. Totally empty in the head like their buildings and if he opens his mouth, he’s lying. He must be one scaringly slick dude with the gift of the gab to extract money above and beyond org regges, the IAS and a whole host of other leeches that slither around under the banner of Scioland.
Wonder if he has security and a bodyguard? Maybe he hides out in a motorhome.
The Melbourne Foodies looks much, much better than the dried, stalled Taco Party.
Maybe the good food will attract more people over Melbourne. The race starts!
“whole track tech to make more money”???
What, compact, handheld currency counterfeiting machines?
Why not, Wyn? Why should the government have a monopoly on printing money? Ideal Money will get rid of all of those suppressive Masonic symbols like the Eye and so forth. Instead the different denominations will have the ARC and KRC triangles, the Sea Org symbols, different pix of LRH and Miscavige in various poses. All very theta. Maybe pix of Tom and JT too…that’s still being debated…some other upstats…Elizabeth Moss, maybe… Danny Masterson is definitely out…
Puke! 🙂
Mike, that’s your older brother? He looks a lot older. It’s a drag to be estranged from family. Been there.
He can’t leave the bubble. What he can’t see is that bubbles burst.
Well, he is my younger brother by 2.5 years…
Looks way older.
Yes, I thought so too.
All that responsibility is hard on the thetan.
Unhappiness and stress will age you faster than years.
Wow that’s crazy Mike, I thought for sure that he was about 10 years older than you…..good going!
Mike, I had a feeling he was younger. Scientology ages people. It hardens them. Probably all the blood that’s been sucked out of them.
I see all of this bullshit about clear status, psychiatry, happiness, and hear similar talk in real life. But the people I know are still “in” and are the batshit craziest people I have ever met in my life. A more accurate description based upon my observations would be crazy, miserable, troubled, and unhappy.
KY is not a part of the Midwest.
The last time I checked (when I was in the Army in the 80’s) everything south of the Ohio river was part of the South.
Watch for a new alliance with the Idle mORGue of Alice Springs which is mid-west of somewhere.
Perth central files look great!
They would be the envy of any 1930’s business.
Wow, I heard they are getting punch card computers and adding machines soon too. The new ones with the handle that can go on the right or left side, pretty amazing hey?
They could probably get a good deal on an ENIAC.
Laughter!
I’m so impressed with the latest development of organizing literal file folders. Next they will be telling us they came up with a workable combustion engine and we don’t have to start our cars running with our feet on the ground through the floorboard.
🙂 Zardu
‘Do you feel trapped by time warps..?’ Lol! (2nd flyer. Ideal Org Tech Seminar)
https://youtu.be/tkplPbd2f60
Lol. Time warps are the worst!
Meh, there not so bad. I was a time warp once. It took me 3 lifetimes to get back to earth.
OSD I think the only thing warped is your sense of humor. ?
You’re just now recognizing my shtick? We say in the industry, Speak Softy, but, Carry a Big Shtick.
When I was arrested for armed robbery, the Jewish cop told me to shtick ’em up.
Nice!
I don’t know about anyone else ,but I love being trapped by time warps.In fact,let’s have a Scientology TV watching party where we all yell at the tv screen and call Miscavige Dr. Frank-N-Furter . Let’s do the time warp again.
Zardu,
Great movie (Rocky Horror Show) . Too bad the little Franken-dwarf cannot also be shipped off planet.
That one was particularly hysterical! Talk about Looney Tunes!
Looney Tunes IS Scientology.
Bugs and Elmer would resent that.
Nope! They’d be thrown into the Hole.
Shana,
Maybe you should ‘whole track’ that night you ‘fell asleep’ over at Danny’s.
Oh Danny Boy
The cops, the cops are calling…
🙂