Though Orlando apparently didn’t make their target for opening last week (what a shock?) they are making up for it with an outpouring of promotional pieces that is impressive in it’s volume, if not the content.
It’s a constant flow of travelers…
So…?
Well, for one thing, they will NEVER find you. If the travelers are so important (like they are going to go on course instead of DisneyWorld?) why aren’t you located anywhere they could possibly see you?
I’m giving him a cleared planet
But he doesnt care, he’s handling “Target 2”.
Plus, you’re not giving anyone anything. You haven’t noticed your home org of Tampa is no closer to “clearing Tampa” than they were 20 years ago — in fact, they are falling behind every day as 100X as many move into the area as Clears are made.
Join staff because there are theme parks?
Makes sense — said nobody ever.
Hold that thought…
Actually it’s because it’s the fourth most popular city to live in.
???
This is their “technical team?”
10 people?
And two of them are carrying Student Hat packs?
That’s impressive. I guess they are going to focus on delivering the Purif.
What does it take?
More than a handful of people with paper viking hats.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen
The hero of the Valley, Quinn the Eskimo is relegated to handing over certs in a silver tux… The big name attractions were Jim Bridgeforth, Brandy Harrison and Michael Duff? He didn’t even get a mention?
Interesting credentials
I guess his qualification is an MBA?
What does that have to do with LRH tech? Hubbard thought college education was a waste of time (after he dropped out).
Squirreling in Joburg N??
Columbus is on the home stretch…
And if you buy that, we have some lovely plots for sale in the Everglades…
Tricky, tricky
He is wearing a shirt from the running around in circles program at Flag. What is he doing in Dublin? Son of scientology whales who sent him off to Ireland to get him out of their hair?
It’s the old mystery sandwich
It’s really old and they don’t even have baloney they can use – that grew mold years ago.
You have to entice with something even semi-believable.
Everyone who reads this knows it is a ruse to get you to come in so he can try to con you into joining staff. He needs a new gimmick lie.
Come to the Moneywinds, it’s CHEAP…
And we are ALL about “havingness” and “prosperity”. Forget curing amnesia on the wholetrack, we are about making money.
But even more, we are about TAKING yours. But we have to get you here before we can do that…
A really short event…
Never heard of this before. Massive impact on LA.
Ridiculous gibberish
Presented as absolute fact.
The Colombian Miracle…
Will they ever get tired of this? A complete lie.
And now they have handled 7 other S. American nations too. We all know how well things are going in Venezuela.
Anything to get some bodies in the shop…
On video?
I guess Jim Bridgeforth is the new OL for the Sea Org….
He had better watch out. Chairman of the Bored is going to get jealous.
Big questions.
Will they make the opening day target after flubbing Orlando.
Will David Miscavige grace the Sandgropers with his enormous presence? It is a long way to go, but he sure enjoys an overseas jaunt and rarely misses the opportunity for a bit of foreign ribbon yanking. But can you imagine the hell to pay if he traveled all that way and the parking lot was still being paved, windows installed and the furniture hadn’t yet arrived?
Check out the “all-out” dissemination campaigns in recent ideal orgs…
Ermmm. Well, never mind. Even Valley, the mother of all Class V ideal orgs and most important org on earth is completely and utterly invisible.
A panel of pc’s
And all they have in common is their reactive minds?
Scots Humor
Missed him and his tartan thetans.
Enjoy.
The Wizard of Cause
Billy Lindstein? Hey, if he is so causative how come EUS sucks and has more derelict, undone “ideal org” buildings than anywhere on earth?
And does this poster strike anyone as strange? Even a bit creepy?
False Datum. False Datum. False Datum. False Datum. False Datum.
7777777777777777777777777777777
These marketing materials seem like a lot of Held-Down 7s.
My Thursday Funny – got a card in the mail advertising the next Flag World Tour event and there 4 bullet points as reasons to attend. The fourth one:
“Food and refreshments before and after the event”
Haha! …. the food was always used as a “draw”, but now… we gotta promise food BEFORE as well? Not just the regular dunkin donuts/safeway veggie tray at the end?
I’ve never been into drugs and I’m only an occasional drinker, but knowing what I know now, if I had to attend these events today I’d be drunk or stoned, definitely. There’s no way I’d be able to sit thru one of these things again straight.
I’ll bring the wine in my thermos and we can sit together and elbow each other.
Hello Mike,
never been into Scientology at all, but now a daily reader of your blog after watching all the series with Leah and you.
You might want to check some of the links to the pictures in your post, the URLs are messed up several times, e.g.
“https://i0.wp.com/www.mikerindersblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/chi.png?resize=750%2C2322&ssl=1”
where it should actually be
“https://www.mikerindersblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/chi.png?resize=750%2C2322&ssl=1”
Oh and by the way, what exactly is a student hat pack, or better how does one know that the suitcases two persons in the picture are carrying are “student hat packs”? Hope that makes any sense, English is not my first language, sorry.
S.
“Cause LA” should promote “Year Zero” rather than “Year One” and use this video to promote the exciting life of being on staff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkBt7yLXyDk
“Fly my little regges and capture Dorothy and regge her little friends to death.”
or
“We’re off to see the Regges, the wonderful Regges of CoB.
We hear he is a son of a Bit…er, um…”
🙂 🙂 Kronomex.
“If ever a Son of a Bitch there was
DM is one, because, because,
Because, because, because, because, because!
Because of the suppressive things he does!”
The constant Orlando promotion based upon the local venues is laughable. I have never once thought about forgoing the Disney transportation to a Disney resort with my family in favor of renting a car and going to a CofS Org.. Not once, not ever! I am late 40’s and this is still my favorite family vacation and I can’t imagine EVER, under ANY circumstances at all. not EVER wasting any time at a CosS Org.. This is even before I knew how crazy they are.
Fearless, let me give it to you straight:
Ya got
1) Creation
2) Insouciance
3) Storytelling
4) Jokes
5) Scotland love
Here’s what ya don’t got,
1) A viable org
And here’s what you ain’t never gonna get:
1) A viable org
So I hope 1-5 is keeping you warm at night, baby because its not going to get better. You might want to just pack it in now and do something you can win at, like fishing.
We on the Fringes have heard tell you’re a good fisherman.
Go fishing, Fearless.
If I were there I’d even clean the fish for you. Catch it and watch it gasp for breath, NO way. But I think you’re a nice guy who means well so yeah, so long as its already dead I’d clean them for you, and fry them up in a pan.
Hope you wake up soon, Fearless. You’re wasting your time and you don’t have much of that left, this lifetime. Just saying.
It’s interesting that on some of the newer Orlando PR, they’re identifying Gloria, the older woman recruited to staff whose picture they have been using for a while, as an auditor who has been around since Orlando was just a mission – there’s a real diehard old-timer! And the auditor they have in training, is a Russian.who uses her Twitter account to promote the Herbalife MLM.
The picture of about 30 people in viking hats, probably shows why Boston is still struggling to raise funds for their “ideal” org building after more than a decade – they’re one of the orgs down to about that many active members left. They’re also one of the orgs with a barely maintained Facebook presence, so I can’t readily find photos of other events to try to verify their size – but that itself seems to be typical of the small, failing orgs like Orlando.
p.s. The apparent Scientology PR person who posted a social media piece a couple of weeks ago with big claims about ScnTV’s supposed success, has a new one out that has been posted over at Tony Ortega’s Bunker, implying that ScnTV has resulted in 120,000 people doing online courses, and made them a legitimate “part of society” according to “key world Opinion Leaders” (capitalization his – and probably actually referring to Scientology “whales”). So the distraction from ScnTV’s failure to get people into the orgs, seems to be to claim they’re online, which conveniently can’t be verified; and they’re grasping at straws trying to convince members that it’s having the effect it was supposed to on public perception of Scientology, even though media coverage and popular culture references continue to treat it as an aberration – and Aftermath was renewed for another season.
I always love your comments, PeaceMaker! 🙂
WAYC, thanks for the “ack”! I often don’t get much response to these sorts of comments, not that I would necessarily expect to since I intentionally make them kind of dryly analytical and factual. I hope that some people, maybe particularly lurkers new to the subject, will find something useful in them, so it’s good to hear that my writing isn’t going unread.
It actually find it an interesting exercise to look into some of the claims a bit more deeply, to parse their PR and particularly to learn to identify how they tend to lie by misdirection and omission. I’m also finding it useful to try to look into Hubbard’s and Scientology’s underlying philosophy (that, among other things, justifies deception and lying as fundamental approaches to the world, not just aberrations), and practice how to clearly explain my views on that – I hope eventually to put that to use in helping to dissuade some of the Christians and others who Scientology has so far managed to co-opt into treating them as normal, when they are in fact a cunningly deceptive group on a deviant path.
The effort of Miscavige to normalize his shitty cult by co-mingling with the easiest targets in “main-stream” religion is child-like in its simpleton strategy.
Aw well, you have to give him an A for effort with his thick mind. It must be tough for him to struggle through rational thought and logical conclusions. It is cute really, watching Miscavige stumble from one boner to another.
Is fearless leader still around?
The Scotsman or SOB?
The Scotsman
Yep. He’ll be there or the rest of his life.
My favorite is “Blast From the Past” pictures. Most of those are people who have
1) Been Declared SP
2) Left the church
3) Died
4) All of the above.
LOL, no doubt Mary!
I’ll take ‘Died’ for $200 please.
I was thinking along similar lines when I saw the photo – made me smile when the scenario played out in my head:
Some staff/exec brainstorms and comes up with a great idea, to use old shots of the org in the early days. Everyone on board and happy and excited about this great idea…. they cull photos, ask the field, etc, amass whatever is available…..
and then as they thumb through them ..their elation deflates as one after another photo has to be discarded due to all the SPs and blows in them……
and…the idea is shelved for all time…….
and maybe…just maybe, even one person starts to wonder about why we’ve lost so many good ones…..
……..
What, no Chan the Man this week? Must be taking a hard earned rest from all that fleecing he does. It takes a lot of energy to lie 24/7. Maybe next week…
“…a commemorative leatherbound edition of Dianetics…”
Oh, man, this is just the best comedy. I don’t even have to say anything witty about that one.
“…a commemorative leatherbound edition of Dianetics…”
Soooo FUNNY! Ha ha ha ha! : )
Let is never be said that Aqua the SP Bitter Defrocked Apostate On the Fringes of the Internet doesn’t do things in style.
I’m going to formulate my own SP Declare on goldenrod paper, get it decently framed and hung in my bathroom , eye level on the opposite wall of my toilet for viewing pleasure while seated there.
But before getting it framed I’ll have it leather bound too so that I can keep a copy on my coffee table.
Real class 🙂
Gee, I never got an official one, can you make me one too? One with a gold star with lifetime member of the Apostates Inc embossed on it.
I can make you one out of macrame, I Yawn.
Really? Aw shucks… I’ll hang it on my wall with pride.
Of course, Yawn. I’ll write one up for you. What are your crimes? Quoting LRH policy? Asking for the LRH reference before executing an order? Or (gasp) REFUSING an order because you knew it was off policy? Just let me know, Yawn. The good, the bad and the ugly, and I’ll write up an SP Declare for you which gives full credit to your awesome Suppressiveness.
Now, OSD, I’m JEALOUS. What about MY macrame frame? Something made by your precious hands – for Yawn? Apparently there’s someone else in your life is simply more suppressive than I am and its one of my BEST blog buddies! A KNIFE in my heart! And here, all along, I thought you loved me…and to think I had to find out this way…Oh, I could cry…
I have 2 questions about today’s funnies that maybe someone can help me with. On the first poster that guy Erick calls it a game spreading their bull, but don’t they have proofreaders to check stuff. The second is that Orlando is the 4th most popular city. I Googled most livable cities in the US, and going over there lists it was not even shown in the top 25. Just wonder where they get their propaganda. Just wondering if anyone else noticed it.
I believe if you put a thousand monkeys in front of a thousand typewriters eventually a coherent sentence will occur. All you’re seeing is an attempt to do so. At the level of monitoring of outgoing propaganda their seniors and so called “proofreaders” are still fighting over the bananas.
In other words, that is as good as it gets. Stings the intelligence hey?
Monkeys are much smarter than cult members.
Remember, too, that scientology is loaded with saboteurs. It is a certainty that you will find spelling errors and poor grammar in all of their toilet paper, oops, I mean publications and promotions.
I love the deadly irony of them thinking “We’re striving to make the world a better place” when all the evidence is quite to the contrary and totally exposed and out in the open.
The minute any belief system lords over it’s members in catastrophically inhumane ways is when that belief system needs to be excised from the planet. Religious or even cult belief’s should not run roughshod over people and make their lives miserable or cause wanton violence & destruction. (Unfortunately this is a cult requirement.)
The extra rewards of any After Life is not guaranteed, even if you are willing to endure unbridled suffering while living in the cause of any cult or religion. More likely you are throwing away your incredible odds-were-against-you shot at life and living on planet Earth in a happy existence that more than likely only comes around once.
Current Scientology lifetime Staff, Sea Org, and those donating to achieve “status” remind me of religious zealots of the Middle Ages in Europe who thronged from city to town, town to village, village to woods, then back again, all the while thrashing their skin with whips and knotted ropes. Their purpose? To demonstrate their religious fervor, in hopes of gaining entry into the glorious afterlife.
Few actions are more masochistic than denying family and loved ones the joy of association, or throwing away huge chunks of earned income to an operation which does not need money, and does not use it for good at all.
Scientology has a stronger hold on sinners than any quasi-religious organization I can recall. Call it “overts and withholds”, it is sin by any name. Unfortunately, Scientology punishes for the kind of low-level thought and deed sins which no one outside the cult would consider ‘crimes’. They are sins only in the world of LRH, called crimes because that sounds more serious and deserving of swift punishment.
This is the comment of the day, as far as I am concerned.
We all arrived here in our current state of consciousness against astronomical odds, and this is most likely our only kick at the can.
And some have chosen to throw it all away because some fucking conman convinced them? It is just too criminal. Fuck you LRH, fuck you David Miscavige, and fuck you Tom Cruise.
The bacteria are still trying to make a go of it on the rotting corpse of scientology.
Hey everyone, this decomposing mass of flesh just fissured over here, so come gather around the warmth and moisture!
The head parasite, Mr. David Miscavige will be pulling a ribbon over this gaseous discharge!
Another Wanker-Yanker for SOB.
As usual, nothing out of Nashville.
Maybe they’re still reeling from that whole Marc Vallieres embarrassment.
That embarrassment will be around for quite some time.
Don’t they remember what Dorothy found when she finally made it to Oz and looked behind the curtain? Actually a pretty good analogy to OT.
Yes, I thought the same thing, Elsa!
Mothers eat free on Mother’s Day at the local Golden Corral, and they have downloadable coupons for the rest of the family. And nobody’s going to be bugging you to sign up for courses, or “improve your status”, while you eat.
And they used to have an awesome buttery yeast roll that I and my fellow squad members (after getting off a 12 hour shift of responding to calls and arresting folks) would destroy with glee.
There may have been some interesting happenings at the build your own soft serve ice cream sundae station…but security clearances and decorum (Mainly the later) prevent me from discussing.
Buttery rolls, soft serve ice cream bar and not getting regged sounds like a viable win to me.
So much hope and dreams in the flyers. So much delusion to try to make it all go ‘right’. I still love $cieno graphs, no labels no way to tell what the graphs are really about. My sixth grade math teacher would be appalled.
“Theme park capital of the world. Is home to many of the most famous theme parks ‘in’ the planet.” I knew it! They have a massive theme park inside Earth! How clever! Now…if I can only find the secret passage way to it. I’ll let you guys know what I find.
Probably through a closet in some dusty back room.
Yep! That’s where you usually find them.
OSD – Didn’t Arne Saknussen show the way to Journey To The Center Of The Earth already? Or was it Edgar Rice Burroughs in his Pellucidar series…
He did….and got burned up in the process.
How much OT havingness does it require to comprehend the difference between “then” and “than”? (They messed it up twice on the Freewinds Conventions in May flyer.)
I also like how the Axiom 10 quote (that the highest purpose is the creation of an effect) allows them to be grandiose even if the effect created is nausea.
I looked up Zwelakhe Mabece on LinkedIn. He does not have an MBA, he is an MBA candidate, presumably not graduated. He is not a Senior Project Manager retired from BP, he just quit working there after a whopping 8 years, mainly in procurement. Ahhh the gentle art of resume enhancement.
Lyin’tology brings out the “best” in people.
If one isn’t lying to one’s self, or to others, then one isn’t a real scientologist.
Falsehoods, cons, thievery, deception, and misery are all that scientology offers the world.
On my resume I put, ‘Ex-Scientologist. Out for 45 years.’ My phone has not stopped ringing.
Today’s Funnies made me sad. Erick Gonzalez and Lynnette Berry look so sad! Erick like he’ll burst into tears at any moment, Lynette’s face reads like a mask of pain.
The picture of taking Flag excellence to Orlando also shows a couple of guys carrying a case.
It took me a while to figure out is for the E Meter VIII, yet, it looks like a big lunch-bag, or even possibly like a metal box for plumber materials. Not professional at all.
“Not professional at all.” SILVIA, would you expect anything less? Scientology is losing in the game of life. And, I think that’s just fine!
When I see a scientologist, as cruel as it sounds, I think, “What a loser!”
You are correct Old Surfer. Scientology has lost the game of life, and its members are losers to be pitied.
Yeah, it feels and is that way. And that’s not only from ex-Scios either. Enough time has now passed that failed dreams, financial devastation, lost families and friends cannot be explained away anymore. A rank and file Scientologist is suffering from a modern form of self induced slavery to remain in that organisation. To die a Scientologist’s death is too heartbreaking to comprehend. I’m not a religious person per se but ‘God help them,’ comes to mind.
Scientology, the route to being a nobody.
I was a nobody once. Seriously, I had no body.
“A rank and file Scientologist is suffering from a modern form of self-induced slavery to remain in that organization.”
Perfectly said, Yawn!
They’re slaves who don’t even KNOW they’re slaves!
They think they’re free beings and that anyone NOT in the cult is a slave!
So they stay in to be free which only perpetuates and strengthens their condition of slavery.
“Self induced”. Utterly, but completely self induced.
Can’t make this shit up.
I hear ya, Yawnalot. If the poor suffering scientologist only knew that good people really want to help extricate them from that spirit-killing monster.
If only ONE scientologist ever read a comment of mine that led them to a path of liberation from scientology, I would be happy for the rest of my life!
My buddy has spent a lot of time in Columbia over the last two years and he has never seen or heard anything about Scientology there.
I’m sure that’s not surprising to you, Gordon. The cult makes incredulous statements all the time.
Correction, ‘Ideal’ incredulous statements. (Repeat after me, “buildings are God, buildings are God…”)
I stand corrected…
… but… but… crime is down in Columbia, and… and, the Way to Happiness brochures, and… and… yellow shirts are there… and, and drugs have been eradicated… and and….
(The thoughts of a scientologist whose bubble is about to burst.)
THAT’S where Billy Linstein got banished to. His IQ level really showed when he didn’t stay together with his wife.