Ideal Org?
They quote Hubbard talking about building the FUNCTIONS and use this to persuade people to give money for a building. Nuts.
Old People Seminars
He is probably too old to audit. Otherwise they would have him in the chair collecting $1500/hour.
Become employable…
So you can hand over what you earn.
Looking very humanitarian…
Wonder where these guys found the money?
Why Pay?
They do these “exclusive, one time only” briefings for free all the time? Everyone knows they are just fundraisers.
Victory is at hand?
I guess this is the next org that is going to be funded out of central reserves. Hold out long enough and it will eventually happen.
Alumni?
This is just sad.
Some real history being made here
Not.
Looking positively legendary
Tens of thousands of people
And not one of them will venture inside. You know New York has tens of thousands an hour in Times Square and that is even closer than this — and nobody goes inside that “ideal” org.
Wow, that is sure to drive in the masses…
For just $50
You can learn how to groom your kid to sign a billion year contract.
Have it all?
No free time. No pay. High stress. Never accomplishing anything — it always “going to be”…
The Call In begins
You can look forward to 143 calls and emails to make sure you attend the most important, once in a lifetime event ever that nobody would want to miss. Repeated 5 times.
Scientology movement?
I thought Way to Happiness was “non-religious”?
Hahahaha
Not a single ideal org has made it to SH Size. What makes Perth different? The crossed-armed stance maybe? The look of determination?
Really?
…and much more…
You would think they might want an auditor or two before a nanny.
Reserve your seat
You know how packed out this is going to be…
They’re trying everything
Special graduation even. You can be sure this place probably has NO full time students.
How come you don’t know when you are being lied to?
Some experts.
Every. Possible. Idiotic. Combination.
Inspirational. Aesthetic. Triumphant.
Exploitative. Dishonest. Creepy.
Maybe Melbourne org are trying hire a barista, seeing they’ve opened their side gate and put up a sign on the fence claiming it’s a cafe.
Sorry guys, no one is falling for that.
I’m noticing the trend of using the word “aesthetic” in their ads. To quote Inyigo Montoya, “That word. I do not think it means what you think it means”.
Don’t you think scamatologists (sorry, Mike), get tired of everything always being the BIGGEST and MOST SPECTACULAR ever. Don’t they ever just want to go home, climb into their pjs and slippers, eat pizza, and drool at the tv?
“Aesthetic” is just “anaesthetic” misspelt because almost everything about Scientology is guaranteed to numb the senses and put you to sleep.
Still nothing out of CCNashville.
Marc Vallieres. Marc Vallieres.
Looks like it’s just a matter of time.
On the other points, I just roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.
Like, picture this:
(phone rings)
Public: Hello?
Call-in: Hey, Bob! This is Shaheen from the org. Calling to let you know that next week is our Dear Leader event where our Grand Exalted Leader, David Miscavige, will be briefing us on how Scientology is toppling world leaders including the pope, so that we can rule the world and take mankind to Clear and OT. This is necessary as mankind, according to our Dear Exalted Leader, is simply too abberated to do this on his own. So I’m confirming you as……
Public: Uh, look, Shaheen, we’re going out of town next week so we won’t be able to get to the event. But thank you for calling.(hangs up phone)
(phone rings five minutes later)
Call-in: Hey, Bob! This is Shaheen from the org. Calling to let you know that next week is our Dear Leader event where our………
Public: Shaheen, I just told you five minutes ago that we can’t make it! Now please stop calling!(hangs up phone)
(phone rings five minutes later)
Public: This better not be you, Shaheen!
Call-in: Hey, Bob! This is Shaheen from the org. Calling to let you know……
Publc: DAMMIT, SHAHEEN! YOU CALL MY HOUSE ONE MORE TIME AND YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER! (slams down phone)
At the org, Shaheen counts Bob as a confirmation, a reconfirm, and a re reconfirm, thus inflating the stats.
Sickening.
LOL! Yes, org staff have selective hearing. SO annoying. Just gave another prayer of thanks that I have this whole weekend – OMG, this WHOLE weekend – to spend as I please with no knotting up of my innards at how to handle the phone calls, the phone calls that never, ever ever ever ever ever, ever ever ever ever stop.
And I’m sure you can guess that she’s reading from a patter.
Keys to OT!?
A powdered grey (typically aging) scientologist, in a chair, spouting off nonsense and collecting $1500/hour?
Wait a minute!
I am an OT! (Operating Tomato)
(Operating Tomatoes were nurtured by ole’ Ron himself, so don’t mock me. He was Source.)
OTs like me have also lived countless trillions of years too ‘ya know! Bow to mah authority!!
I have been disseminating my wisdom in quiet condescension to the lesser beings in my midst for many years now, much like our founder LRH.
.
Where are MY g**damned fifteen hundred bucks an hour? Living in an IG (Ideal Greenhouse) like mine doesn’t come cheap you know.
And all that screaming from the cut tomatoes next door to me requires serious money to build noise dampening walls.
So get off your wallets, whales, and build me my Ideal Greenhouse. You are knee deep in the fertilizer to infinity!
That’s really rich, them giving a seminar on knowing whom you can trust. Ah, the irony.
“Every. Possible. Idiotic. Combination.”
I especially appreciated this one. Good job.
It WAS retarded
and you had the perfect response.
Want to REALLY mess with your own head? Just read every single one of these with the Old Viewpoint. Read every single one of these with the full on agreement and head space of your most fervent.
It’s like being on a totally different planet.
Wow, that Tampa flyer on how to tell people apart… funny, comical. Tell everyone apart, except us. You look at us and it’s Ethics for you. Disaffected scum.
I’ve lived in Metro Detroit my entire life and didn’t know there was an org until a couple months ago……
Looks like Eating Crow, Russell Crow’s younger brother, is on the smug case at the Perth Saint Nowhere Idle Morgue. Pride before fall?
I apologise, but this is the third try to post a comment, the other two just vanished when I hit Post Comment.
Looking at the photo of the Cockerill’s leaves me thinking that brains are well and truly optional. What a pair of cretins!
Perth seems to be getting more desperate by the week and if I saw that pair of dodgy secand hand car dealers waiting to greet me I would do a Robert Crumb and “Keep on truckin’.”
mine did that last night, I held off, suspecting it would later be actually posted. It’s a new thing for me, too. Sorry you got trapped in it.
Me too me too 🙂 Yesterday this started happening. At first I thought I’d lost the post and so posted it again. Now I see it disappears for a while and then shows up. No big deal as it makes me more careful as I write.
Can you delete the earlier two comments if it’s at all possible.
Yes, that also happens to some of my posts. Invalid token.
I always get “Invalid Token” if the comment is more than a couple of lines. What I do is write the comment, use ctrl-a ctrl-x to delete the text, type in “test” and hit Post Comment. Then when it says “Edit”, click on the Edit button, ctrl-v and Save. But yesterday my comment just went into hyperspace instead and now it has a “test” comment next to the real one. Hope it’s working today.
This may well be posted twice, the first go doesn’t seem to have gone through.
Looking at the photo of the Cockerill’s leaves me thinking that brains are well and truly optional. What a pair of cretins!
Perth seems to be getting more desperate by the week and if I saw that pair of dodgy secand hand car dealers waiting to greet me I would do a Robert Crumb and “Keep on truckin’.”
Looking at the Cockerill’s I’m guessing that brains are optional. What a pair of cretins!
Jeez, the Perth Morgue must be absolutely desperate and if I saw that pair of dodgy second hand car dealers waiting to greet me I’d do a Robert Crumb and “Keep on truckin’.”
Yeah, the dead-eyed stare, the arms folded…that really impinges…I’m so impressed.
My take on the baby pic and the alumni reference, after I also had a moment of confusion, was they are suggesting the tot is a returned, “already cleared” (or whatever the criteria for coming back is) Scientologist. As in, this little one here is actually someone who was in it before and see, you really do get to come back again!
10s of thousands of people in Detroit will seriously consider walking into an ideal org–just because the stage faces that way? In which universe, exactly?
Let’s try something more attainable: Millions of people will perform an easy and painless remote-control feat in the comfort of their easy chairs, switch off Leah/Mike’s show (or anything else, for that matter) and tune in to the CSN. Come on, how hard is THAT?
Have they actually scouted around metro Detroit?
The city is in dire shape …
Another beef of mine…I don’t think I have too many, but anyway, pictures of people with their tongues hanging out. I suppose Miley Cirus started this.. Can’t wait for it to go out of style.
Add to this turnoff the ubiquitous food-smeared faces of babies and children, and now, in my supermarket, where I shop ALL the time, full blown, 5 foot high photos of ADULTS eating sandwiches and pizza and other messy food, grinning at you with it smeared all aver their faces and hands and hanging out of their mouths.. remarkably.disgusting. Do most people really LIKE this, I wonder? If so, I find it troubling. Sorry for going off-topic.
Spot on! Contemporary “folk pop”, and selfies are on the top of my list.
Aqua,
Just an opinion but: At 7-9 years of age many juveniles enjoy the baby drooling, face-smearing, tongue-contortions, and shrill antics you seem to be put-off about. Could it be that you have outgrown that stage? Long ago?
If so, welcome to the more-mature group.
Jim, yeah, I guess I’ve grown up 🙂 But you know, in my supermarket, they are now blasting us with yuge posters of ADULTS of all ages including SENIORS with food all over their faces.Humongous poster of a senior citizen couple slurping coffee and gobbling bagels and cream cheese with the cream cheese smeared all around their mouths and chins…am I the only person who doesn’t want to look at this?.IMHO, .this is now officially out of control 🙂
Actually, I think Gene Simmons would be the “Earlier/Similar”………..lol
“pictures of people with their tongues hanging out. I suppose Miley Cirus started this.. ”
I will go with Gene Simmons as the “earlier/similar” on this one……..lol
“Please actually answer and not just like :)”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haha!
“The site of the cornerstone of the city of Detroit”.
Quite underwhelming, I must say.
That building – wow, there are probably only about 500 thousand of them in any major American city.
Humanitarians for Brisbane: Mike, I presume you have substituted the picture. There’s no way they’d… is there?
Alumni for A New Generation: Uh, wut? What is a baby an alumnus of?
Columbus Legends Club: That beard. Words elude me.
“JOIN STAFF AT THE MELBOURNE ORG” and watch that smile disappear off your kids faces …. forever!
Mr. Conman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make it the dumbest that I’ve ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give me the same shit you’re feeding Rover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell me I must do my whole bridge over
Conman, I’m so alone (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Don’t have a brain cell to call my own (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Conman, bring me a dream!
Yes! The Chordettes. Played this song endlessly when I was tiny. Masterful job, MJM!
Nice one MJM:
Out of curiosity, are there a significant number of these “special briefings/events” that get cancelled due to lack of RSVPs or otherwise people just not coming? Or will they just send in some staff/SO to fill the event and/or hound the hell out of the public just to get some asses in the seats?
I have a hard time imagining a significant number of public attending the massive number of these “exclusive, once-in-a-lifetime, vitally important” briefings they seem to throw out in each area. Perhaps there are always enough who really just buy into this though and truly do enthusiastically attend.
Good question. I’ve wondered that myself reading the Thursday Funnies.
Mick, I’m thinking three quarters of all the briefings, aren’t. And yes, they do use their own people to make any briefing look full.
Hank Borland is the only Class XII auditor left at Flag. The others have been declared SP or have died or have left the So and/or the church itself. But Hank is an enigma to me. Years ago he was driving the EPF bus for the church, picking up and dropping off the EPFers. (Estates Project Force which is the boot camp for new recruits to be broken down and remoulded in.) I asked someone why a Class XII was driving a bus? I got a weird answer like, he only does it as a volunteer to help but he still audits. Well that tells me that there aren’t enough paying pcs buying Class XII auditing to keep him busy. And that was years years ago. With the church’s dwindling numbers, I’m sure there are even less pcs for him to audit now than there were back then. That must be why he is on the road giving the awe and glory lectures to audiences made up of people showing up just cuz they want it to look good on their ethics file that they participated.
Maybe Hank got bus-ted.
I knew Hank back in the 70s. A handsome, vital young man. That picture… man he looks awful. We all hear how SO ages you, so true in his case. And that’s probably the best photo from that shoot. He looks like a dried out husk. So sad.
Is Carol Schwartz still around? How about David Gellie?
More like….
Every Person Is Commanded
Every Person In Cult
Every Person Is Cross
Every Person Is Cautious
Every Person Is Cowering
Every Person Is Crabby
Every Person Is Cranky
Every Person Is Collapsing
Every Person Is Cleaned out
???
Endless proliferation of insane crapola.
Insane Crapola: Grung Band
Hank Bourland is only about 65 years old. He’s not in the chair because there is almost no fools left who can pay for L’s who haven’t already done them. A couple of times.
Hey Wyn! Are they still making members do the bottom 3: Purif, Student Hat and the SRD? Over and over again?
Hey Wyn! Are they still making members do the bottom 3: Purif, Student Hat & SRD multiple times?
I don’t think so OSD. Those are staff intensive. Nowadays I think it is more like go do the Stupid Power R/D over and over.
Time for GAG III.
Yo Dave,
Do it again good buddy. Time to re-do the do-do and git yer stellar folks back in town to re-do their Ells ………..a fucking gen. But ya can tell em this time it’s for keeps. The gains will last and last …. kinda like gettin sprayed by a skunk! It’ll be EPIC …… for real! Just like You Dave, frickin EPIC!
And tell Eff Pee to quit his damn sulking and get back out here and take a few shots for the gipper.
Can’t wait for the one after that as in gag for.
“gag for” , LOL!
🙂 “The gains will last and last….kinda like gettin sprayed by a skunk!”
The ‘Funnies’ have become more and more ludicrous with each week. The display of planned ‘events’ and the ‘experts’ trotted out to host them indicate how truly desperate $ has become (really, JOKE Reeder; is this a misprint?). This whole business has become an EPIC JOKE (but truly, Not Funny). I can’t wait to see these miscreants brought to justice.
She is foreign to America and her name is pronounced “Yoka.” Her claim to fame is she was a nanny for LRH at one time.
Every Person Is Commanded
Every Person In Cult
Every Person Is Cowering
Every Person Is Cleaned out
Every Person Is Consumed
Every Person Is Collapsing
Every Person Is Cross
Every Person Is Cantankerous
I posted this comment and it disappeared. So I’m posting again, I apologize if it comes up twice:
These are so EXHAUSTING. And I continue to receive all this crap in the mail week in and week out. Looking forward to a nice long relaxing weekend and enjoying the fact that I don’t have to explain to anyone why I will not be in the org. and then be made wrong, blah, blah, blah.
It’s so great being out of that bubble where we can LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH to our own discretion.
Hope you all have a great weekend and that you enjoy a nice cold brew with family and friends.
I only have 2 comments today. First to Brisbane, I want you to know that if you want to impress me it is not by sticking your tongue out at me. Looks more like raise your status and act like a monkey at the zoo. The second is that it seems to be more fundraising this week, although hard to tell, I guess the midget is getting ready for an extended scuba adventure and needs more oxygen tanks. Sorry, miscarriage, but the hot air your people spew won’t work in an air tank.
All of these are so EXHAUSTING. And I still continue to get all this crap in my mail week in week out. Anyway, it’s so nice looking forward to a long relaxing weekend and not having to explain for the 100th time at the org why I will not be on course and then deal with all the make wrong, blah blah blah. It’s so great to be out of that bubble to enjoy and LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH at our own discretion.
Hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy a nice cold brew.
That sounds like an excellent plan Ms. P and I wish you a wonderfully relaxing, peaceful, weekend. Sounds like you have more that earned it.
“…and not having to explain for the 100th time at the org why I will not be on course and then deal with all the make wrong…”
OMG, YES!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Will FOREVER remain withing the Top Five items on my Gratitude List!
I learn something new every day here. Today I learned that the first building ever constructed was built in 1701. Amazing!
Kind of makes you wonder what else all those history books from your school years misinformed us about. 1701 man my history book was way off
Testing, one, two.
We hear you, over.
Kind of curious. Is there anyone who stands outside (or is inside) and counts the number of people who actually show up for these events. Portland had a BIG meeting on May 8th, and I counted about 25 people off the streets attending. Most was staff was trying to hand out the personality test to get people to go inside. Only one woman went in, and came out about an hour later. Portland for the most part is empty the times that I have gone by their org.
EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC EPIC
Every (as in EVERY)
Penny (as in YOURS)
Is (as in NOW aka before Thursday at 2:00)
Commandeered (as in now it’s ours and NOT yours anymore)
Repeat this chant to the ‘pc’, letting them know that they are a Big and EPIC Being, as often as necessary until the ‘pc’ ‘cognites’ that they have been taken by one of the world’s biggest and longest running cons.
That’s not nearly enough EPICs!
I haven’t actually seen any signs that Chicago is up next to go “ideal,” though if Scientology maintains its current pace all of the remaining US orgs will in the next 4 or 5 years, and so they are all effectively in the final stretch of their drawn-out fundraising campaigns just by default. And if Scientology follows the apparent strategy of doing the largest cities first, Chicago will probably come up within the next couple of years, maybe indeed next after Detroit (which I suspect has been prioritized because the city is also a Nation of Islam stronghold) with the worst laggards like New Haven and Long Island last.
Their idea of “alumni” as a paid status has always been strange, but conferring it on a baby is truly bizarre – and given Scientology’s ideas about actual education, they may face a future in which they will never even have the chance to graduate from high school, much less college, sadly….
Can someone translate that L. Ron Hubbard “The Ideal Org” quote for me – it sounds like gobbledegook to me.
Graduation of who from what?!?!?!?
Ideal California Alliance Event – not touching that one.
Will L. Ron Hubbard be returning to present the 34th Annual Writers and Illustrators of the Future awards. That I gotta see.
Melinda and Daniel Cockerill, the newest Humanitarians for Brisbane!!!
These guys look like the Cordones or Elfmans of Oz. They look young enough to be active on social media but I haven’t got the stomach to check that out. It’s sure to be as ‘up-tone’ as their expressions. OSA, get off yer arses and reign these fools in. Or not.
The Cockerills…cleanly fleeced. Clueless. Humanitarians – NOT. They could have had more fun and done just as much good with their money if they’d lit it with a match. The Cockerills.. you poor saps. And if this were not bad enough, you still have to carry on, trying to make it thru life with a name like that.
Okay, can someone please translate what L. Ron Hubbard was trying to say in the “Ideal Org” building the functions quote. It sounds like a bunch of double-talk to me. I can’t make head or tail of it.
Ideal California Alliance Event. I’m not touching that one.
Special graduation of who from what?
Please also tell me, is L. Ron Hubbard returning to present the 34th Annual Writers and Illustrators of the Future Achievements awards?!?!?!?!? Because, that I gotta see.
Well, I’ve got to take an Advil now – I’ve suddenly got a splitting headache for some reason.
” Okay, can someone please translate what L. Ron Hubbard was trying to say in the “Ideal Org” building the functions quote. It sounds like a bunch of double-talk to me. I can’t make head or tail of it.”
Meryl,
It’s just like all the rest of the written works of the cult.
Thanks, Newcomer!
I have to admit, though, that that one was one of the most confusing quotes I’ve ever come across. It’s basically incomprehensible.
Oh well, enjoy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!!
OK, so the top marketing ploy about the building just, straight up, didn’t make any sense. I reread it several times and the language used just sounded nonsensical. In fact, it sounded as if it came straight from Trump’s mouth if you ask me. Ridiculous and sad!
. “…just straight up, didn’t make any sense…nonsensical…sounded as if it came straight from Trump’s mouth…Ridiculous and sad!”
I’m tracking with you, Ashley, but keep in mind there are some negatives too..
Geezers, that an old photo of Kate Ceberano. She sure doesn’t look that anymore. Never liked that girl, met here more than once back in the day. She’s a snob and big guzzler of the kool-aide. I would imagine the security around her would be horrendous. They’re an introverted lot, Scio celebrities. Good riddance I say, that ship is sinking.
I thought you were going in a different direction with big guzzler of. Phew!