AOLA 500
500 what? 500 people left in LA who will admit they are scientologists?
Free food = fundraiser
Sounds a-m-a-z-i-n-g
And there should be thousands who have been watching right?
You want to bet they don’t find a SINGLE person who knows the CSN even exists?
It’s the old problem…
People don’t buy into the answers to all of life because the building isn’t “upstat and inviting” enough.
Exclusive briefing
This briefing has been being done every week for years. How exclusive is it at this point? Especially when Gavin Potter isn’t even OT VIII? May not even be OT III.
Victory?
Ideal Org Atlas?
Location revealed?
What wall?
Free food. Free “entertainment” = Super Hard Sell Fundraiser
And BTW potential suckers in Chicago. If “victory” is being announced that means your org is now next in line to be funded by Sea Org Reserves. No need to hand over any more cash. Miscavige needs something to show to keep the facade going. You held out for 15 years and he’s run out of ribbons to yank unless he pays sit back, relax.
Very strange
Looks like a scene from the Poltergeist movie.
And since when is “old time’s sake” “western clothes”?
Truth in advertising
We are expanding = someone bought us a big building we don’t need and have no idea how to fill
Ooh, a special message
Let me guess. “Hand over your money or join staff or both.” Just saved you a wasted Saturday evening. The
Competence?
I wonder if that includes spelling correctly? Pruposes? Prosposition? Activites?
Excellence for only £3,725
That’s all you’ve got?
An old video of Chairman of the Bored yanking his ribbon in South Africa?
What?
Is this a joke?
I Am a Scientologist. I Disseminate.
If that’s the criteria then they are down to less than 100…
As long as you have $30,000
One every 6 months…
Wow. A single completion gets a special mailer. Used to be that there were dozens of them each week at Graduation. Now when they manage to get one they put out a promo piece!
Oh shit…
Orlando CF isn’t done either? Even though Flag public did it all for them?
These “ideal orgs” are really half-assed. As someone said recently, soon they will be opened with just the Parking lot, Reception and Div 6 areas complete so COB can do a video…
Well, let me ask you this…
Why didn’t you to see to this when you were in the Watchdog Committee back in the 80’s and 90’s? In fact, why are you no longer in the Sea Org? L. Ron Hubbard said anyone who left the Int Base was to be declared. Period. What happened?
This is competent?
Climbing a ladder with a light? Such strange “buttons” they are using….
Wow. Just wow. I think some of these promos were put out because it took so long to extract the money to put them through the ‘service’. They are celebrating the 10k, 20k, or 30k that the person spent while simultaneously fishing for more money.
“…an up to date briefing”.
Um, as opposed to what – an out of date briefing?
Earth to Cult
If its not “up to date” then its not a briefing, dumbells!
So much for the world’s literacy experts.
Wow! Detroit Org is going to have Mr. Jimmy Page! Awesome! Wonder if he’ll play any Led Zeppelin songs?
I will have to call….I mean telex Jenny Linson, I thought Anna Paddock was going to do some fair game stuff up here in Washington State. Can’t believe we lost out to a dusty old C.F. Project in an Ideal Morgue.
“It’s the old problem…
People don’t buy into the answers to all of life because the building isn’t “upstat and inviting” enough.”
But Dave could give em a fighting chance if he would relent and let them at least put a few fresh rolls on the ole spooler in the can. Gawd Dave, nothin worse that an empty spool on Turd day at too. Such is life in yer See mORGue.
🙂 “See mORGue”. I’m stealing that.
Orlando org.
They have concerns about security involving shredding boxes of CF folders.
Why not just hire one of those companies that specializes in disposal of confidential documents? Just put the stuff into a sealed bin, tip the bin into the back of a shredder truck, and it all goes to pulp. No names are disclosed and the records remain confidential.
Besides, didn’t LRH say that a folder is never removed from CF?
That’s what I did a few months ago. 8 lawn & leaf sized bags, big truck with GIANT stredder, literally FIVE minutes, $150, DONE! Felt great and I’ve got more stuff for next month.
Jesus H. Christ. That is all…
Is there problems with the comments section. None of mine seem to show up anymore. Any suggestions appreciated.
I’m going to paraphrase a line from the first episode of Doctor Who’s Destiny of the Daleks: “Scamology is just the dead on holidays.”
My dog likes to disseminate as well but being chased off the neigbours lawns makes it hard for a really good dissemination.
FSM – Finding Shrouded Money or Finding Stashed Money. How about Fleecing Silly Mugs.
Mai commpiitance andd leeduhsheep scilz r sekunnd 2 nun.
Joke Reeder – https://jokereederarticles.wordpress.com/ Wheee…
New Horizons Academy 4.7 stars from 12 reviews (one review gives them 1 star and a Scientology warning, surprised it hasn’t been taken down) on farcebook.
“Once all orgs have reached the front porch of infinity and are collectively poised at the threshold of eternity, the doors to GAT 3 will open and OT IX and X will be released, allowing all Scientologists in good standing to feast on this priceless tech and thus partake for the first time, in this or any other universe, a veritable cornucopia of case gain!”
ML, DM, COB, RTC
So well said. Dan Sherman, watch your back.
“Once all orgs have reached the front porch of infinity and are collectively poised at the threshold of eternity, the doors to GAT 3 will open and OT IX and X will be released”
If you profess to understand that (well tossed) word salad and believe IX &X will EVER be released by Dwarfenführer, I have this wonderful bridge you’ll love. Actually, it’s more a stairway to complete subjugation.
And, we have blue sky for sale around here. Lots of it in big chunks for cheap!!!!!
wan’t the Restaurant at the end of the Universe already covered in a book?
Hahaha! I love when good folk ridicule that shameful Sherman-Speak. Miscavige, you look like a freaking idiot spewing that nonsense from your piehole. As a matter of fact, just keep using that hole for what it was made for: ingesting scotch. That, or DMSTCCOHB.
You mean I’ve been using a ladder incompetently all these years?? Well… how about that? Makes me dizzy it does.
Even more typo goodness in the Freewinds poster:
“proficienncy”
and the dates of the “voyage”:
28JUN – 14JUL
14JUN (not July) – 28JUL
I wonder if you have to pay for the extra 2 weeks? Oh wait. OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
Again, that Study Tech sure is impressive….why’d I waste all my time in the Navy?!
What’s FSM?
Who’s Anna Paddock?
And the girl supposedly peeking IN? No. She’s wishing she was OUT.
Previously known as Anna Stilo, was in WDC at one time.
You’ll recall her in that hit episode of Dave TV as the friendly neighbor visiting Marty Rathbun’s wife with unsolicited advice. After the video went mini-viral, the Watchdog Committee (WDC) morphed into the Rabid Dog Committee (RDC), promoting Anna to the post of Staff Handling I/C Terminal (SHIT) writing up any and all deviations from Standard Dreck.
Yes, she really did a great job showing the entire planet what a fuck-up she is in that clip. Way to represent scientology, ya nitwit.
And since when is “old time’s sake” “western clothes”? —>So true! I wear them every day when I see my horses at the stables. Oh I forgot, horses are “other fish to fry” and far too expensive to be kept next to your other costly hobby: scientology. In their world horses are probably already extinct. Gee, how downright stupid!
That Joke Reeder photo is one of the greatest things on the Internet.
Holding their black tie DC org event the Trump Hotel. Sickening, but certainly not surprising that the cult propitiates our Grifter In Chief in this way. Here’s hoping “gourmet menu” includes bowls of Trump’s shit and that afterwards they get to kiss where it came from.
I have a question. Just how confidential can those folder’s names be. I mean they cannot use a shredder service? My bank uses a shredder service. I was there one day filling out papers when they came. The papers were already in a sealed container. A bank official and worker walked it out to the truck, watched it put in and observed the shredded result. Perfectly done, took a little over 20 minutes total. Why scientology cannot due this is beyond me. Any help with answers? ?
Never trust a wog.
You have to pay a commercial shredding outfit to come for your files. I seriously doubt if the org has the money to do that, so they use “security concerns” as an excuse not to.
I stopped by the Ventura Mission last week. I had a bunch of mail they send to my PO Box that I felt should be returned to them.
Claire (I forget her last name) who has been there forever, greeted me thinking I wanted back onlines. She was sadly mistaken. I left a nice bag of their mail on a table and told them I will return all mailings i receive back to them.
My goodness, this just got creepier.
question: The…
Contact the FMS I/C for drilling and hatting and to sign up for the Book-A-Thon poster.
Is that just for scientologists, or is it supposed to attract the not-ins? Do they post this in store windows and grocery store bulletin boards? Just saying, if I saw that I would probably walk away thinking what in the heck is drilling and hatting and why would I want that.
That light the competence guy is carrying looks like a toaster!
I have been “off” all week, I can’t figure out what day it is, when your retired and knocking about the yard it’s easy to loose track but I’m NEVER this bad! I just figured out what the problem was…your oops last week with the Thursday funnies! Apparently I depend on you to keep track of the days for me lol I’m a dufus sometimes!
First thing I do when I get up is check here and then over at the Bunker. I think I’ll start checking my calendar too?
Thanks for all you do!
WOW . . . COOL !
JIMMY PAGE will be there . . . I hope ROBERT PLANT shows up, too . . . I love LED ZEPPELIN Music – LOL !
Dave F.
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No no that’s the Jimmy Page who tore up my Leaving Staff Routing Form that was near done. And looks more like Detroit had an Sent HCO Ethics Mission ~ oh goody ☺
It will be a total LZ reunion. They will be meeting with the reincarnated John Bonham.
Anna Paddock said “buying things is a dispersal”. Can someone translate that?
I wondered about that too. Maybe it means buying things for yourself is bad. Give to org instead.
I have no f-Ing clue. This is a tough for me.
Comes from the use of the English word ‘disperse,’ which comes from the Scientology term ‘fundraise’ which means to hand over all your dough as well as your life, family and all assets to save Scientology from mankind & itself.
The term AD, which means “After Dianetics” reset all dictionaries on planet earth to Scioland’s default parameters. That’s why it’s tough Dude, but Scientology can help you with that. Go on, give it a go – it’ll be something that lingers…
I am sure it was designed to make one feel guilty for spending money on themselves instead of donating to the ideal empty parking lot.
Doug,
IMO Anna is off her meds or she has a MU on flows-ridges-dispersals. Per my old Tech dictionary a dispersal is: a series of outflows from a common point– like an explosion. Per my memory of the PDC tapes there is a dispersal whenever one goes through a change — like moving from one house to another, lotsa turmoil and confusion.
Anna has it wrong, ‘buying things’ is almost certainly a havingness, a solid, a ridge, a chunk if MEST (matter-energy-space-time). I’ve never felt dispersed when I went to mcDonalds to buy a fatmac.
Hope this helps.
🙂 “IMO Anna is off her meds or she has a MU on flows-ridges-dispersals.” Tracking with you there, Doug.
She starts off with magical thinking: “Flows beget flows. Outflows make inflows.”
I interpreted her statement about ridges and dispersal to be, holding on to your money is a ridge (a stoppage), buying stuff for yourself is a dispersal (wasteful, empty).
She is close to logical thought at the end in almost being at a return on investment idea, and concentrating resources where they will do the most good.
A dispersal is when a person has their attention ‘units’ all over rather then focased on a goal or product. IIRC
It means that the only legitimate thing you can do with your “energy” (another word for money in Scientology) is to “flow ” it … that is, give it to the church and anything else you do with your energy/money , like buying things is bad, cause you’re just kinda throwing it away … Does not apply If you are John Travolta buying airplanes and homes .. that’s ok …
The org is alive with the search for money
With folks they have regged for a thousand years
The org never stops as they search for money
My hands wants to choke every reg I hear
An excerpt from the new smash musical ‘The Buck Starts Here’ used with permission.
Ear Worm Alert:
I am now I’m on the floor with the visual and sonic of Julie Andrews trilling these lyrics as she wanders around the Alps in a dirndl….please, Visitor, you can’t do this to me…there are laws, I believe…
I know, I know. If it’s any consolation, I channeled Julie in a dream. She wanted to remain anonymous but the voice gave her away even though she was wearing a Guy Fawkes mask!
LOL!
Should be hands want to choke, or fists want to slug, feet want to crush, etc. The possibilities are numerous. Suggestions always welcome!
Not “The Sound of Money”?
I’m working on one now where Miscavige sings “I Believe In You” to himself in the mirror. That song fthat Bobby Morse sang from “How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying”.
How about this for Dave.
Whether I’m right, hey I’m never wrong!
Whether I find some girls on the beach who wear skimpy thongs
I gotta be me, I’ve gotta be me
What else can I be but what I am
I want the world, the cash and free time
And I won’t give up this dream
Of life until it’s all mine
I gotta be me, I gotta be me
The dream that I see makes me what I am
That far away prize, a world of excess
Is waiting for me if I heed the call
I won’t settle down, won’t settle for less
As long as there’s a chance that I can have it all
I’ll go it alone, that’s how it must be
I can’t be right for somebody else
If I’m not right for me
I just gotta seize, I’ve just gotta seize
Daring to try, to do it or die
I’ve gotta be me!
OMG, brilliant! Perfect for Him.
OK, this is not very good but I’m extra short on time today:
COB singing to Himslef in the mirror:
I’ve got the cool, clear eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth
Yet there’s that blond, high hair and that grin of impetuous youth
Oh I believe in Me
I believe in Me.
I hear the sound of good solid judgement whenever I talk
So that my juniors cower in fear when I pass them to walk
Oh I believe in Me
I believe in Me.
And when my faith in my fellow Whales all but falls apart
I’ve but to feel Tom’s hand holding mine
And I take heart
I take heart
…a work in progress, Visitor.
.
Good one Aqua. I would change wisdom and truth to Scotch and vermouth.
Yes, it looks like Chicago has been picked next to go “ideal,” and they are bringing out the “whales” who are going to bail out the org’s long-stalled fundraising campaign. I think that the failing little org in Orlando that couldn’t even get its CF done was a fluke and got picked to be made “ideal” because it is so embarrassingly close to Flag in Clearwater, but that they are going to to back to a strategy of focusing on the orgs in the largest cities like Detroit and Chicago, and probably then Boston and Philadelphia, and only at the tail end in 4 or 5 years, get back to the smallest and weakest orgs like Albuquerque, Long Island, New Haven and Battle Creek.
Speaking of CF, it seemed that for a long time they had a policy that it was one of the things that absolutely had to be done before an “ideal” facility could open, even if that meant putting people on the project 24/7. Now it seems as if that is something that has been let slip in more than one case, probably also along with the requirement that orgs have over 100 staff when they open – and who knows what else.
The picture of the two dozen or so mostly aging members of the Detroit org, seems typical of what we see these days, pictures showing at most two or three dozen people – probably close to the whole active membership. From what I can tell typical active membership at an org totals 4 or 5 dozen (smaller and weaker orgs like Orlando, and possibly Detroit, have fewer), and then about as many more in the entire “field” who will at least show up at a couple of annual “all hands” events, and thus we have seen for instance the list of about 130 attendees at the major Chicago events.
“When There’s A Whale, There’s A Way.”
– David Miscavige
?
Dana More doesn’t look so happy. Maybe he should do the rundown again. Or maybe being rundown is the end phenomenon of $cientology? In Dana’s case, he looks more run over then rundown.
I love when I’m at my desk, eating lunch at work, and I remember it is Thursday! This is my favorite day on Mike’s blog!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
It can’t be an accident that Mike chose Thursday for his funnies 🙂
Happiness R/D comp? Isn’t there something in the WTH about appearance?
Re: Mr Gavin Potter – why the hell not talk about OT? A guy who makes $35 on a good week, doesn’t buy his own rice and beans, and doesn’t pay rent for his 1/3 of a flophouse abode tells us how to succeed in business and make more money. Look at it this way – anyone who recognizes the irony of the latter won’t be buying his OT talk either, and conversely, you won’t talk any sense to those who have paid to hear him talk about making money in the past. The guy is a salesman who can learn to deliver a spiel – that’s why he does what he does.
Oh, but gorillavee, Gavin Potter is in the Sea Org which means he doesn’t NEED experience to know all about anything! He operates on his whole track experience don’t’cha know. Countless past lives of being a successful businessman, so, listen up!
Can they just die already?
They have but just don’t know it yet.
They actually have already. Now they just wonder in & out of the orgs as the walking dead.
It truly is a zombie “religion”.
Just look at those sleep-deprived, busy-worked-to death, sea-org members stumbling around L.A. and Clearwater. Insane.
Miscavige took over from Hubbard’s burial squad duties in the 80s. I think he’s doing a fine job despite absolutes being unobtainable. Stats don’t lie upright.
It’s all over but the lyin’ .
“…Sea Org proficienncy.” That about sums it up.
Besides, £3,725 to do the EPF? Screw that.
Spell checking is an instrument of the PSYCHS, I tell you.
I noticed that typo too. It is just so poetic and appropriate, isn’t it?
Time to rename this weekly post Thursday Scammies.
Like Jammie’s?
Something like that.
“Imagine being immersed in an impeccable OT environment where challenges are overcome and goals are obtained with Sea Org proficienncy” What kind of proficiency is it that can’t even spell proficiency?
When I spelled it incorrectly my spell-checker automatically corrected it. When I insisted, it underlined it in red. It takes effort to be this bad these days.
The writer was probably struggling with the English language! :0
They’re so on “prurpose” that they forgot to hit the spell check!
Telex machines don’t have that feature.
Gotta love these . . . “Cutting Edge” Scientology “TECH” !
Dave F.
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I legit laughed out loud about the telexes…stopped the car and everything!
It’s the dictionary that’s wrong, not the mighty El Con and His merry band of hucksters!!
Probably the psychs are behind it, as witness the widespread illiteracy and drug use on this planet, not to mention the Holocaust and Hitler’s rise to power. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
🙂 Visitor.
But I do have a beef with Big Pharma. As a bitter, defrocked type posting here its common knowledge that my livelihood is dependent upon the pharmaceutical industry. Meanwhile, its been years now and I STILL have to work to pay the bills! They keep telling me, “Its in the mail, its in the mail…” Should I believe them?
Yeah, yeah that’s it!
I hate when “upstat” is used to mean “fancy” or “good”, or whatever they think it means. It certainly doesn’t mean upstat. Upstat means there is production and up-statistics. It doesn’t mean new carpet.
Upchuck is more appropriate.
I had an upchuck once. He was a cute furry animal.
Scientology is all about class/status. A large percentage of our society has the problem as well which LRH knew because he had it. Ego problem.
Ronit works at a place called the Discover Group (life coaching, etc.) They employ a clinical psych!
https://bo.linkedin.com/company/the-discovery-group?trk=ppro_cprof
What irony that Ronit, an auditor and “life coach” works at a place that employs a clinical psych! And she is using a picture to promote herself that has to be 35 years old if it’s a day. Her actual age now is between 60 and 65 years of age, maybe older. Maybe we should claim false advertising!
Yes Cindy they had to a hire someone who REALLY knows about human behavior. Maybe he can work on Ronit and her criminal mind?
Re the age comment as regards Ronit, I was just commenting on my pet peeve of people posting pics of themselves that are 30 or more years old and don’t look like themselves as they are 30 years older now. No slight intended for you youngsters here. Or for oldsters who are young at heart.
I don’t understand any of this, Cindy. But why should I? I’m only 25 years old.
Turns out he’s a last lifetime Clear and Ronit is liaising with the Org C/S and E.O. to get her battle plan approved up lines to handle the guy’s ruin. Stay tuned as this promises to be very exciting!
Her and Tom used to make a good living Full Time FSMing back in 2006. 6-10Gs a month.
I don’t wonder what happened – selectee shortage.
I’m betting she and Pat are doing the seminar so they can get selectees of course.
Off topic, but I passed by the Manchester org each day Monday-Wednesday of this week. Other than bored scientology staff, that building was empty – zero visitors. Not one person curious about scientology, even with the Scientology Network.
We thought so.
Clever!
Yea. Wish I could put up a billboard right next to the church’s “Curious?” billboards (which I see every day here in Clearwater).
“Curious? Yea, neither are we and we are scientologists.”
Oh my goodness if you get on the Freewinds for all that money you also get a competency and leadership outfit!!…..well Iam sure that’s an incentive!!! HaHa
Anna Paddock, from Watchdog Committee to PAC RPF to shilling for the Columbus Org. Now that’s what I call moving up the conditions. I won’t be joining you as I have to tend to my toddlers. Why? Because they need me!
Visitor,
Congratulations! You have your priorities right.
“Meet Mr. Jimmy Page!” What, so you can regged by Robert Plant?!
More like Robert Implant.
Even more clever!
By the looks of it Dana More might be needing a retread on the good ole Happiness thingy.
Yo Dave,
What about you good buddy? It’s Turd day and you’re gonna need some major activity by too! I say fogetaboutit ………. take the rest of the day off Dave. You earned it!
“Turd day.” Oh My God! ?
Is it Turd Day already? Boy, it sure does creep up on you.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Holy shit!
I’m near Detroit, and would love to meet Jimmy Page.
What? You mean he’s not the Jimmy Page? Never mind.
He’s lead by Davy but not by Zeppelin.
Would they be able to see Davey? He might get lost in a snare drum.
You can lead a Scientologist to water but you can’t make him think.